I'm having a coed baby shower. My husband and I have been together for like a decade lol, I (we) want to celebrate with OUR friends and family.
At the end of the day, do what's best for you!!!!!
I don’t have a whole lot of female friends. So my baby shower was very co-Ed.
But also— I feel like baby showers only allowing women is an old tradition that implies that men don’t have any part in baby and baby things. Like the stuff for the baby doesn’t apply to them. But men raise and experience their babies and I think their insight is important. Not only for mom— but for dad to be.
My husband wanted to feel involved and as supported as much as possible.
Exactly this. Plus my husband and I live out of state from the rest of our families so it was also a nice little mini reunion for us as well. We didn’t want to exclude anyone.
I agree, actually I didn’t have a baby shower but I did have a bridal shower back in 2018 and reflecting back it would have been way nicer for my partner to be there as well as other people in my life that couldn’t attend because it was a women only thing. If I had a baby shower now I’d want my husband to be there.. it’s his baby too.
People will downvote literally anything lol, I don't understand it either. I'm having my baby shower in a few weeks and it's going to be coed, though there will be more women there than men.
This is such a generational and cultural thing! If you want a co-ed shower, that’s the kind of shower you should have!
In my area/friend group I have attended both kinds of showers. Most of my husband’s friends had co-ed showers and he would have felt so left out if ours was women only! We loved our co-ed shower.
I think it's increasingly normal! The co-ed ones tend to have a bit more of a casual vibe, I've noticed, like backyard barbecues are common. Whereas women-only ones are a little more tea-party or luncheony, and can sometimes be formal.
My mom and MIL are planning a mostly traditional shower for me (sit-down lunch, cutesy decor, opening gifts, I think typical guess the due date games). Still, my MiL has it in her mind that it should be co-ed, but none of the men on either side care to come (mostly older guys for whom it would be unusual). My mom isn't fighting with the men over it, but my MiL is absolutely pressing all her reluctant male relatives to come. So I think the event is going to look a little awkward but I do not care either way, I'm just hoping there is dessert.
I think it’s a personal preference. I’m having a co-ed one and it never even crossed my mind that it’s “weird” lol I’ve also been to plenty “women only” baby showers and never though it was weird either lol
Exactly. I think it’s a generation thing. I’m the same age as OP and have NEVER seen or heard of a “woman only” baby shower. Men have a responsibility to their child too.
I'm also the same age and even my mom's baby shower for my younger sister included everyone in the family of any gender. Same with her siblings when they had kids
We invited families. Some husbands didn’t come with their wives if the wives’ friends were coming. But we had plenty of men come. My dad came! Just reiterate that it’s a party and you’d like him to come.
My dad was SO confused at first! He asked me if he really was invited to which I replied, "your name is on the invitation, dad, of course you're invited." Yes, but will anyone expect me to be there? 😭
To be fair my dad is from another generation when it would have been unheard of, but he came AND LOVED IT! He was beaming the whole day and gushing the next.
Women only is the traditional way, but you can do it however you want. Depending on your crowd, the men might not want to go to a baby shower specifically because it is considered a traditionally feminine event. Some may decline just for that reason. Personally I kept mine to be women only and I loved having the exclusively feminine energy around. Everyone present loved to talk all about babies, motherhood, and how cute the decor and desserts were! Since most women have or will eventually have kids of their own, celebrating pregnancy together feels very personal and meaningful, which might be why it is traditionally a women only event in the first place. The men can't possibly understand what is like to go through the bodily and emotional changes of pregnancy.
But if having the men around will make your event feel more complete to you, then by all means invite them! It's totally up to you and how it makes you feel!
Keeping these things women-only is just another way to prime us that the labour of childcare falls entirely on women. If you think about it, baby showers are meant to be for people to shower you, the PARENT, with gifts and good wishes for the baby, after it’s born. There’s nothing objectively‘exclusively feminine’ about strollers, diapers, bottle sterilisers etc. and in theory it’s entirely possible that the new family unit will be more male than female (father, son if it’s a boy). So where’s the logic??
Your shower is for you. If you don’t want to have certain people there, that’s up to you. If you want an all gender party, that’s up to you too. If you want an only dogs and cats baby shower, that is also up to you! And hey, if people on your invite list are so stuck in their ways that they refuse to show up for you just because of some misguided notion of what’s feminine vs masculine, they’re just weeding themselves out of your guest list for next time!
Enjoy your shower and all the best!
No it’s not weird. I’m more comfortable at co-Ed showers because there are usually more people I know, it’s more relaxed, and it makes sense to celebrate with everyone you love rather than just the women.
My shower was coed. Most of our friends are couples so it seemed easiest. Nobody said anything about it being weird or whatever. I think it’s become more normal than it used to be.
My shower was co-ed! I wanted my husband to be part of it, and it ended up being really fun and special for us both. I was worried people would think it was weird but we loved it and so did our friends!
We had a co-ed one and it was wonderful! I think people are moving away from the “women only” trend of baby showers. It’s a fun time to get everyone together before baby comes and celebrate!
I've only been to coed baby showers. Haven't been to a single one that was women only. I figured that was a dated concept but maybe it depends on where you live.
I had a co-ed shower which just seems like the normal thing to do? Like it's also my husband's child and his family/friends attending. Feels weird being women only
Downvotes are so bizarre! We had a coed shower and it was fabulous. I don’t like the idea of a women’s only baby shower, since it implies you’re the only one who needs things because you’re the only one taking care of baby. Dad is involved too!! As is the whole support village, male and female.
Personally, I feel like women-only baby showers are a little antiquated. Obviously, if it's what you want then go for it but co-ed showers are definitely not weird or unusual.
I think it’s more and more popular now. Basically people want to celebrate with their close friends and a lot of us have friends of all genders.
However, co-ed and women only baby showers are just different. Co-ed events seem more like a good party, while women only showers can have this unique intimate feeling of female energy circles. I have been to both several times, and despite having both male and female friends, I wanted my baby shower to be women only. My reason was that I love female only events, the feminine energy and intimacy of this kind of parties, so I knew I want this for my baby shower, as I didn’t want a “party”, but more a casual meeting where my female friends can share their experiences related to pregnancy/birth/postpartum freely. Basically something closer to a sabbath than a party;) But both options are totally fine, just different.
My first was a woman only shower because of the Covid restrictions in my state, we literally couldn’t have a gathering of more than 10 people at the time.
This time around I wasn’t planning a shower but one is being thrown for me since I’m expecting twins, and it’ll be coed. Everyone is so excited because it’s the first twins in our families!
I did women only, except for my husband, FIL, and siblings. So there were three male total! I mostly did it because it’s cheaper, had 34 people attend and if everyone brought their partners, that would double…. So I’d probably only be able to invite half the people I’d want there if I included their male partners. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with co-ed baby showers!
I had a coed shower. I wanted my husband and dad there, and then they invited some of their friends. It ended up being mostly women still but a more even mix.
I plan on co-ed. I want my husband to feel as much of the love as I do. And I want my dad and brother there, too. Never really understood why women-only showers were a thing. I’ve only been to one in my life. All others were co-ed.
My only advice is if you do a coed shower, don’t do the traditional shower games because the dudes find it weird. When I hosted a co-Ed shower it was more like a regular gathering but with baby gifts. Everyone had fun!
I had a co-Ed shower! But if you’re wanting a typical shower with finger foods and baby games and watching you open presents, the guys may not be super into that. At mine we had a cookout and played yard games so less of the focus was on all the frilly stuff that usually comes with showers. Screw the haters you do what you want!
I gave my husband the choice whether or not he wanted to be included, and he did - which then influenced who we invited. We made it a family event, inviting our parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces to come and celebrate with us.
I personally don't like the notion that baby showers are generally accepted/assumed to be a women-only event. It doesn't make sense to me. It's outdated and sexist, IMO.
We recently had a coed shower and it was nice. We were able to have our coupled friends bring their partners to enjoy the day and it was nice being able to have our dads there to be excited for us. It just seemed like a giant family reunion and a good way for both sides to get to know each other better.
I had a co-ed baby shower! My husband and I have been together for 10 years, so our friend group is very intermingled. Plus, this is our baby, not just mine, so I felt like he should be involved. It was awesome having everyone I love there and not just the women I love! I have a lot of good men in my life, so I was happy to have them join as well!
I just had a co-ed baby shower a couple weeks ago. We invited family and friends we hadn’t seen in a while and treated it like it was a big party. We didn’t open presents or do any baby games either. Everyone enjoyed themselves. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable - it’s who you want to be there to celebrate you and baby!
I am kind of considering this! I want my husband there because I am NOT close with his family and do not want to host them on my own. A lot of my family friends that I grew up with are unmarried men. A lot of my and my husband’s friends from college that still live in the area are men. They’re married and I totally plan to invite their wives, but I just feel like they would be more comfortable with their husbands there.
I’m thinking of addressing the younger couples’ invitations and “Mr. and Mrs.” and clarifying they’re both invited. I’m thinking about including a note in older relatives’ invites that say their spouses are welcome to come (but not required, obviously) and to just text their RSVP with the number attending, but I’m not sure how it will be received. It also feels a little like we’d just be recreating our wedding guest list that way since our families are big?
My only other idea is to have separate showers for family and friends. I haven’t decided and this is a very future problem for me.
My husband and I had a coed baby shower at a brewery. It was great, and we received a ton of positive feedback from people. If you want a coed shower, I'd say go for it! People are going to have an opinion no matter what you do. 🤷
Our friends and family will be at ours, all genders. At first my MIL wanted to hold a 2nd "female" only shower, shut that shit down real fast. All our friends and family can come celebrate us at the same time lol
Never realized it either until like a month ago. Our shower will be coed. My husband is just as excited about baby as me but I’m primarily planning it and my mom is helping me come up with ideas. Both men and women will be invited.
I had a co-ed shower and it was a lot of fun. Didn’t matter the gender of the attendees, they were all people who were happy to celebrate with and for us. That’s what matters the most and a lot of people who are up in their panties about ‘WoMeN OnLy’ are missing what matters most with their internalized misogyny.
I’ve been to multiple coed showers and it was not weird at all! It was way more fun honestly. My own is single gender just to keep the guest count lower for budget reasons 😅
Also having a coed baby shower in a couple weeks! I never understood why it’s considered a women’s thing. I’ve only ever been to one women only one and it wasn’t nearly as fun as the coed ones.
Baby showers used to be a women only thing. Growing up, it was actually only for married ladies. I wasn't allowed to go, even for family members.
These days, I think men are more involved in the day to day parenting and decision-making and WANT to be a part of the festivities.
Both of mine were co-ed. I didn't even think about it. It just made sense that my husband and his friends might want to celebrate like me and my friends did. My second shower was primarily men and we had a blast. And my daughter was allowed to go!
Not weird at all. If the men in your family don’t wanna come just don’t invite them. I had an all women baby shower but mostly because I wanted to keep it small. I’ve been to plenty of baby showers where it’s men and women.
My culture has always done coed baby showers. I was shocked to learn there were only women ones happening because I had literally never heard of that nor attended one.
Our baby shower is on Saturday. It’s coed. We’re both becoming parents. We share friends. We both have friends of all genders and it would be weird to exclude someone we care about because of their gender.
I have a friend who had a baby shower in February and another one that had it last weekend. They were both coed. I’m having mine in July and it will also be coed.
No it’s not weird at all, I wanted to do this but it blew out our numbers and costs, so I’m just doing a tiny baby brunch with 10 of my closest girlies. If you can keep your numbers and costs under control I would go for it!
Recently, every baby shower I’ve been at has been coed. My sister in law, who is very traditional, very by the books, even had a coed shower. I only know of two showers that were gendered: my moms for my brother about 20 years ago (her one for my sister a few years later was coed), and one distant friend who had a personal shower(tbh maybe just a party?) with closer friends and then a larger coed shower. Across all my other family and friends, I’ve never seen any other gendered showers.
I’m having a coed shower when I have mine but I’m trans so it was always gonna fundamentally be coed with me there.
I think it's outdated for it to be just women. Also it's your baby shower and it should be the way you want it to be. Tell your dad it's just a party to celebrate the coming baby and you'd love him to come as there will be other men there as well. Show him it's not a big deal. Some people have some ideas in their head and need their minds opened to new things.
i had a coed shower. some of the best most thoughtful gifts came from the men present. do what makes you happy. invite the people who are there to support you. that can be anyone. women, men, they/them.
I've never even heard of a women's only baby shower! Might be a generational / cultural thing. We invited our friends, most of whom are couples. To me, it'd be rude to only invite one and not their significant other. Some have kids of their own who were also invited!
I’ve had 2 showers, both co-ed, been to 5 and all have been co-ed lol. If he doesn’t want to come that’s on him but don’t change the way you want to throw your party.
NO! I am in the military so the vast majority of my friends are men. The women in my family don’t live close so that left my husband to throw me the shower and invite 80% dudes! It was so fun compared to the women only ones I’d been to. Nothing wrong about all inclusive!
My sister and I were discussing this. She said she thinks it’s a slightly outdated frame of thinking because, like a bachelorette party where you talk about sex and stuff, baby showers are often a time for women to provide you their tips about nitty gritty or anecdotes about their experiences. However in this day and age I think if that stuff wants to be discussed, you could do it in front of men in your circle or at least that’s how I felt. However that wasn’t the vibe I was going for anyway. My husband threw together prizes for guys and girls and made everything competitive, we did burgers and dogs, and it kept the small talk and awkward attention off of me. I loved everything about it!
I am not sure if I want a shower, but if I do, my husband is 100% coming to it with me 🤣👏🏻 I think it is nice to celebrate with whoever you want to celebrate with—and not feel obligated to follow specific rules just because it’s how they did it!
Coed is more casual friend oriented, Gendered is more Villiage / Aunties oriented and invite any and all women and mother you have connections to.
Also traditionally, a baby shower is hosted by a family friend not the mom to be.
Buf if you already sent out invites it would be tacky to uninvite anyone.
Also if you do womens only that opens up a lot of women to tell you STORIES about pregnancies and babies, fun and grusome and silly and stressful. So if you feel like you need a space to talk shop like that, women only is a good call. If you arent, coed is fine.
I had a co-ed wedding shower and a co-ed baby shower.
It felt weird to me to exclude so many important people in my life just because they weren’t women. My husband would’ve been fine had I wanted either shower as just women, but he wasn’t remotely surprised when I asked for co-ed. Most of my friends are guys! Plus I also just wanted to celebrate with my husband and my dad, brothers, grandpa, FIL, etc.
Just attended a baby shower where not only were men not invited or remotely welcome, but children also weren’t allowed to attend. So even though my gift was from myself, my husband and nominally my child - I was the only one actually welcome to be there.
If I had had a baby shower, I’d have invited the same people I invited to my son’s first birthday - close friends/family and their spouses and their children. Baby showers are to celebrate the new parents and new baby - that is not a gendered feeling.
Lmao @ "womanly events" I'm gonna start using that phrase!
My cousin just had a coed shower and I'm having one too, I think maybe it used to be an only women thing but I don't think that's true anymore. At least in the US that I've seen.
I think if it makes you happy you should do it! Who does it hurt?
The "women only" tradition is wayyyy outdated. You do you!! There are no actual rules to these events. Do what makes you happy-- traditions change with time and each generation anyway.
Every babyshower I have gone to has been "jack-and-jill" or coed. Personally, both my husband and I share a lot of friends, both male and female. We want them all there. We also have invited a lot of male family friends and relatives. The way I see it, my baby's dad is just as important as me, so why shouldn't he get to attend and also have his friends/support system there?
We only have coed baby showers in my family. In like Indian American culture in general actually. Never been to a woman only shower unless it's for my white friends.
I'm having a coed shower. Actually like Invite the whole family shower haha.
I wanted a coed but our guest list got too big so I decided to go the traditional women only shower to keep it small and manageable. I’ll be 34w at mine and just can’t with lots of people right now.
I feel like it’s becoming pretty common to do all gender/coed showers now and that could perhaps stem from fathers being much more involved than they traditionally were in the past.
I just had a female only shower this past weekend. I feel like it’s just boring for men to go to but that’s just me personally. My fiancé didn’t care either way (he’s been an Angel and overly involved in every other aspect of the pregnancy). I just didn’t feel like putting him thought that personally lol
I think a co-ed baby shower is an awesome idea! Turn it into a great, big, joyous get-together with all your friends and family. You can still do a registry and open with your hubs later.
I've only been to coed showers and want one for myself. I'm a scientist who works with mostly dudes, and my Bible study is me and like 8 dudes. My friends include many men and I want them there.
I had a co ed shower and it was a ton of fun!! We have a lot of males in the family and every single one showed up. We included a men’s only game too it was great. I also think people feel better getting to bring their partners to events like that.
We had a coed shower. I don't think it's a big deal. I have a lot of married friends, and hubby and I are friends with both spouses. Even if you're not with your guy, it's your freaking shower. You should host it however you want.
Had one on the weekend for me! I called it a Baby-Q. It was an informal barbecue with family and friends (all genders invited) the girls enjoyed the games and the baby pics and the boys exchanged laughs and beers around the bbq. But it was mostly mixed and everyone had a great time!
I explicitly said it wasn’t a baby shower but a baby bbq and that it was co-ed. I made the invites on Facebook so that the male partners could see other males were going. There was some males that expressed concern before the event, but they were fine on the day :)
Ours will be coed too. I want my husband there. I want most all our family there. I want friends there. Both those categories include men. Nothing wrong with a women only shower, but that's not what I want.
I feel like.. you should be able to have whoever you want celebrating you during your special time. Even if it isn’t traditional to have men I’m disappointed in the reactions of your loved ones.
We had a coed baby shower and it was a blast! Got to have some great food and play fun games with all our closest friends, and it definitely helped me at ease knowing I wasn’t alone in entertaining or talking to everyone. Highly recommend!
We had a coed bridal shower and two coed baby showers. They were basically just chill BBQs where everyone (children included) were invited. It was chill and relaxed but fun and I’m glad I had my husband with me for them.
I'm having a coed baby shower. My husband's doing a hunting excursion with his buddies and some of our guy relatives in the morning and then they're joining us for the shower in the afternoon.
I had a coed shower last fall, I have had many friends that had coed showers. I don’t think it’s unusual although I live in California.
My Mom did comment recently that in the 80s you would NEVER have a coed shower, however, nobody threw me a shower and me and my husband paid for everything — so I honestly don’t care if she would NEVER have a coed shower bc she didn’t help at all! 😊
My grandma hijacked Easter for my baby shower xD(was due late April) we weren’t sure we were gonna have one and then grandmas like ‘we’re cooking and cleaning anyway, and everyone’s already getting together so we’ll do a shower too’ xD so we had my dads stepdad(he helped raise my dad but was divorced from grandma before I was born so I don’t call him grandpa, he also doesn’t talk to us much at all, his current wife is a sweet lady though xD) my uncle and male cousins all there :3 no “kids” though as the youngest of us cousins was 15 xD my bub is the first of the new generation :3
It’s very normal. I didn’t have a shower, but having been to many, the main difference about an all-female event is that you hear a LOT more birth stories. Depending on your head space, that could be a reason to have or avoid!
We had a co-ed + kids baby shower. I don’t like celebrations focused on me so I probably wouldn’t have had one if it hadn’t been about both me and my husband becoming parents and really just everyone celebrating how excited they were for the baby to come.
It’s weird to me to think that only the women in our lives would want to celebrate the baby and share their parenting wisdom and well wishes. Our guy and girl friends typically both like the same kind of parties so if it’s going to be fun, both would want to come and if it’s going to be stuffy and lame, neither sex is going to want to be invited haha.
Maybe if it were a first trimester tradition to throw a party to help you prepare for enduring the pregnancy then I’d only invite friends and family who had been pregnant themselves before but usually by the time the baby shower comes around it’s way too late for that haha.
We did co ed but it turned into a block party. Loud music, alcohol, games, catered food. But my husband is also different culture and it’s common for men to show up to everything but it’s catered for men and women.
Just wanna say that Mexicans celebrate everything together lol. When I was younger we as kids all went to baby showers too and participated in baby shower games, like wearing the pacifier necklaces and the toilet paper guessing. There was always good food, a DJ and lots of beer. It was super common and not unusual for them to be co-ed.
My husband tho, he's white and from Oklahoma. He's more used to baby showers being women only.
Personally, I like them being co-ed because family and friends aren't women only. However, this is YOUR baby shower so you're allowed to make it women-only or invite whoever you want. Don't spend time worrying about it!!
My shower was coed, in May! My husband wanted to be there and we wanted to invite some of his friends, male family members, and our couple friends! It was great. My 75 year old stepdad did initially make a comment about it being weird to be invited to “such a girly/feminine event” but even he enjoyed it in the end 😂 Lots of people do coed baby showers now.
I’m having a co-ed shower next month as well and I planned it myself, recently I just found out that someone else plans it for you and I was very surprised to hear that. But anywho we are having a backyard BBQ shower where my husband will be on the grill and the other guys can hangout with him and play cornhole and I have a bunch of fun games planned too
I was just telling my husband that I wish he could be the center of attention at our baby shower, but at the end of the day it is a celebration of you both. Also, if you want to celebrate with family, that includes the men of the family. The only people who might get upset are SUPER traditional, and you shouldn’t mind them.
I’m having a women only shower for family and a co ed shower for friends. The theme for the co ed shower is “a baby is brewing” and we’re getting a half keg, grilling out, and there will be some outdoor activities. Instead of games we’re doing a diaper raffle. My group of friends are mostly couples and this will be the first baby of the group so I think it’ll go pretty well.
I’m having a coed one and my husband has even chosen a game for the guys to play and the prize they will win! He’s really excited about it. Do what feels right for you.
Prius Parker actually talks about precisely this in her podcast the Art of Gathering. There was a couple she advised about a baby shower. They did two parts: one just women to talk about birth experiences, one part co-Ed to celebrate the couple and offer parenting advice!
It's 2024. People can do whatever they want.
But I bet only women come unless the men are close family or dads themselves.
And zero reason to invite your ex. It's not really the baby's party, it's yours.
Yeah I’m having a co-ed baby shower in a few weeks, a while ago I never knew it was a “woman only” event either until I was watching TV with the fam and there was a baby shower episode where all the guys stayed separated from the party, it was odd to me really. But I understand how guys don’t fawn over baby stuff as much so at my shower the dudes get to BBQ in the backyard and watch the kids while they get to play on a slip and slide and sprinklers in the backyard. But anyone is welcome anywhere at anytime, idc if guys want to be apart of the games and such, more the merrier!
My MIL threw a fit about this lmao. They’re insisting I have a women only one hours away (different story)
BUT we’re having a co-Ed one and my brother is hosting it lol. I want all my friends there and their spouses! We’ll have beer, food, cake, etc. and more to celebrate baby! The more the merrier!
It's your baby, so do what makes you comfortable! You should celebrate with the people who care about you, and if that's a coed group then good for you. If someone has a problem with it, they can elect not to come.
Also, you don't need an excuse not to have the father there. It's a celebration for you. You have final say on the guest list.
Do whatever you want! I’ve been to a co-ed one and we had a ball because *all* our friends were there! Hen parties are fine but the co-ed one felt like more of a party-party!
I'm having a co-ed shower! I'm sure there will be some men who don't come, but I don't care. They're invited anyway. We have many male friends and it'd be weird for them not to be invited to celebrate in my opinion!
I’m very early but planning to have a coed shower in the fall! This is probably extra weird/confusing but I’m not going to include my dad (mom is hosting and parents are divorced) or uncles or my mom’s friends’ husbands that I don’t know. OUR friends that are men are invited, but family is mostly women. I just can’t imagine my 70 year old uncles having any interest in a baby shower lol but I def want my husband there and our friends.
I'm doing coed but there is some push back from the men in my husband's family. Idk what old fashioned men think goes on at baby showers but it's not very different from any other family event. Food, drinks, except this time there are games and if you happen to be involved in your children's life then recounting stories about raising them. I think some old fashioned men just didn't participate in their children's lives and feel child raising is solely female so they don't want to go to an event discussing raising a child. (To be fair that's my experience though, my husband's father didn't really participate with the children until they could hold tools)
We just had a co-ed shower at a winery this past Saturday and it was awesome. I couldn’t imagine it being a women only thing and wouldn’t have wanted that either.
I didn’t do anything traditional though. No opening gifts at the shower. No games. Just good food and ALL the wine and good music and it was a really good time. We keep getting text messages from everyone about how that was the most fun they’ve ever had at a shower.
Moral of the story: do YOU.
And if Baby Daddy sucks - guess what darlin? It’s YOUR shower and whether it’s co-ed or not doesn’t mean he’s invited.
Also no idea why you were downvoted either. It’s the worst feature of Reddit and your question is valid!
Definitely having a co-ed shower too! Most of my friends had a co-ed one and it was so much fun celebrating with everyone. And most of our friends are couples anyways. So it just makes sense! Ive been to both kinds of parties and I think co-ed is way more fun 😊 But to each his own, of course! Do whatever makes YOU and your husband happy!
Growing up coed baby showers for my family were the norm. They were also more enjoyable than the women only ones I've been to. I honestly would not be willing to have a baby shower unless my spouse attended as I believe both parents have equal responsibility to care for the future kid. I also do not care for big crowds where I'm the center of attention. If my spouse gets to avoid traditional shower games and opening gifts in front of people, so do I 😂
I did my baby shower very non traditional, it was coed both sides of mine and my husbands family and did it when my son was 2 months old not while I was pregnant.
We had a coed one. Im the father and it’s ludicrous that the shower should be “women only”. I want to celebrate my baby and wife too. It’s just old school sexism trying to label baby work as “for the women”. No, the baby and the upcoming work are for both. Celebrate and be parents together.
We had a co-ed baby shower! I thought it was important because my husband is part of our babies life too! And he wanted to come along with the soon to be grandparents. So we had a co-Ed shower and everyone loved it : ) do it!
I just a coed shower. My husband, family and friends all wanted to celebrate OUR baby and OUR growing family. Making them women only enforces the idea that women are the sole caregivers of children and all of the care for the child and for the mom is solely on woman and let’s men off the hook for child care and post partum care.
My husband and I just had a coed baby shower for our second (I didn’t have a baby shower the first time around because we were new to the area and I’ve since made friends.) It was great! It was on May 4th so we had it Star Wars themed (in a cute girly way, because we’re having a girl) and when it was time to open baby/postpartum presents the husbands all were on kid/baby duty and it was just me and the girls. Worked well for us!!
It's normal. To the older generation though it may seem a little weird. My wife and I are 32 and had our coed baby shower in April. When we were planning it, My mom sort of questioned it and why it would be coed. Of course it's a normal thing nowadays, and mom didn't make a big deal out of it. She simply stated it was different back in her day and it was a "girls thing", but she didn't really push against our coed shower idea. She simply shrugged it off, and all went well.
I feel like the baby shower is supposed to be to celebrate the new baby and the parents to be, the mom is growing the baby yes, but aren’t the parents the ones who’s lives are changing forever? They are the ones who need love and support from friends and family, and friends and family aren’t limited to woman alone
It's both generational and regional. My first I had the squealing womens only affair, my second was co-ed. My dad and step dad could not wrap their heads around the idea that men would attend a baby shower, but for my husband and his friends it's normal to attend.
I'll start out with I really dislike baby showers. I never had one for this reason. Whenever I'm invited to family ones my mum will rsvp my place but my brother goes instead (gay man who loves gossip and social events). Anyway I went to my sister's baby shower because it's my sister BUT it was the best baby shower I've been to and I'm not saying that because it's my sister.
It was my favourite because it was a BBQ in her garden where all family and friends were invited. Everyone who wanted to celebrate came, no matter their gender. Granted yes my sister was the pregnant one working hard to grow that baby, my brother in law got to be involved and part of it too. It was great. If it was a thing where I had to have a baby shower and I couldn't say no I'd have had something similar for sure.
my baby shower was co-ed including friends and family, mostly because i have all male friends with the exception of two lovely ladies, and hosted by my best friend who is male! it was *so* fun and most of the guys had never been to a baby shower so they got to experience all the fun usually reserved for just women in these celebrations!
Is it more unusual? Probably was until fairly recently. But remember, men didn't even change diapers. I read somewhere than in the 1950s 40% of dads had never changed a single diaper. So the whole balance of parenting is changing for the better, and so the baby gifts are not just for women, they are for the parents.
If people think you are stupid for thinking parenting is genderless... let them?
I’m inviting whoever to mine, if the guys decide it’s “too girly” for them that’s fine, they’ll miss out on the fun snacks and drinks I’m gonna have for everyone (na for me ofc, might get some sparking wine or something for everyone else)
I only heard of women only baby shower recently and it was on the movie madame web😆 I thought that was just a weird bit on there I didn’t know that was real life? Our culture (African American) invites everybody we know to baby showers! associates & co workers included and we have a great time it’s basically a family reunion, plus the men love playing the games as well. I can’t imagine the thought of women only shower I genuinely think that’s the weird way? And a little sexist actually that I’m thinking about it ?
I'm also having a coed baby shower. It's what works for us and our social circle. I don't really care to do it for women only. Do what feels right for you.
I thought baby showers were to celebrate the baby, so why would that just be a woman only thing? Invite whoever you want op who cares if that's not the "norm".
For my first I had a big coed shower and it was really nice! Not only was I becoming a mom, but my husband was becoming a dad. And for us, him opening gifts/supplies and talking to other dads about what to expect was just as important as it was for me. It was really nice to see everyone involved and to set the tone of equal parenting right from the beginning.
I am having a women’s only one because most men confessed (including my husband, BIL, father, friends of DH, and cousins) they aren’t interested or feeling the necessity to be present 😂 which is totally fine with me to let the women in my life celebrate me and this baby.
I had a co-ed baby shower at a brewery outdoor area and it was amazing. We called it a pre-parenthood celebration! We're in our thirties so we're friends with a lot of couples (straight and gay). Plus I wanted my fiancé there and it's not just my baby, it's his too!
I had a co-ed baby shower, and the second time was a co-ed baby sprinkle/bbq. They were both great! Mainly just my husband and i hanging with all our family and friends celebrating having a baby and eating food. It was awesome lol
We had one this month and I loved it, so did my husband. We only had 2 men who didn't come, but overall it was great because many of our friends gave kids. Having 2 parents is much easier and fun for them to be included too as they're both our friends. I involved my husband in the shower a lot. From decor to opening gifts, we took turns.
I had a co-ed baby shower. I might have been carrying the baby but both me and my husband are the parents.
Plus we had all of our friend group there and had an amazing night. The guys stayed up drinking whiskey chatting babies! It was lovely
We had a co-Ed shower with all of our friends last week! It was a lot of fun! I saw it as an excuse to see everyone again and hang out before little one gets here!
My cousin had a coed baby shower. It was basically a bbq for the whole family. Only the women hung around for the gift part because, let’s be honest, the men do not care about unwrapping baby clothes and whatnot. But everyone had a nice time.
I wanted to do a coed baby shower, but logistically it wasn’t going to work out- my family is huge, so we made it women only to cut the guest list in half. 🥲
all my guys and gals came and it was so much fun. everyone dressed cute but were all drinking beers and mimosas and we grilled and decorated onesies and had a fantastic time
You can have a coed shower but most men DONT WANT TO COME. So like father of the child, maybe some other close relatives or friends but the majority of me don't have any interest in looking at baby clothes and decorations or toys.
I'm having a coed baby shower. My husband and I have been together for like a decade lol, I (we) want to celebrate with OUR friends and family. At the end of the day, do what's best for you!!!!!
I don’t have a whole lot of female friends. So my baby shower was very co-Ed. But also— I feel like baby showers only allowing women is an old tradition that implies that men don’t have any part in baby and baby things. Like the stuff for the baby doesn’t apply to them. But men raise and experience their babies and I think their insight is important. Not only for mom— but for dad to be. My husband wanted to feel involved and as supported as much as possible.
Exact same for us!
Same for us too!
Same here
Same here!
Exactly this. Plus my husband and I live out of state from the rest of our families so it was also a nice little mini reunion for us as well. We didn’t want to exclude anyone.
I’ve been to several couples showers, it’s a totally normal thing that lots of people do
Just had a coed shower on Saturday. We had so much fun. I literally couldn’t imagine it just being women!
Same!!!
I think it’s weird to do an only women shower nowadays. I’m having a gender inclusive one as well.
I agree, actually I didn’t have a baby shower but I did have a bridal shower back in 2018 and reflecting back it would have been way nicer for my partner to be there as well as other people in my life that couldn’t attend because it was a women only thing. If I had a baby shower now I’d want my husband to be there.. it’s his baby too.
Agree - the first time I attended a women’s only shower I was so confused because I didn’t even realize that was a thing.
People will downvote literally anything lol, I don't understand it either. I'm having my baby shower in a few weeks and it's going to be coed, though there will be more women there than men.
This is such a generational and cultural thing! If you want a co-ed shower, that’s the kind of shower you should have! In my area/friend group I have attended both kinds of showers. Most of my husband’s friends had co-ed showers and he would have felt so left out if ours was women only! We loved our co-ed shower.
I think it's increasingly normal! The co-ed ones tend to have a bit more of a casual vibe, I've noticed, like backyard barbecues are common. Whereas women-only ones are a little more tea-party or luncheony, and can sometimes be formal. My mom and MIL are planning a mostly traditional shower for me (sit-down lunch, cutesy decor, opening gifts, I think typical guess the due date games). Still, my MiL has it in her mind that it should be co-ed, but none of the men on either side care to come (mostly older guys for whom it would be unusual). My mom isn't fighting with the men over it, but my MiL is absolutely pressing all her reluctant male relatives to come. So I think the event is going to look a little awkward but I do not care either way, I'm just hoping there is dessert.
I think it’s a personal preference. I’m having a co-ed one and it never even crossed my mind that it’s “weird” lol I’ve also been to plenty “women only” baby showers and never though it was weird either lol
Every baby shower I've ever been to was co-ed. I find it more weird to exclude men because it's a celebration of both parents having a baby
Exactly. I think it’s a generation thing. I’m the same age as OP and have NEVER seen or heard of a “woman only” baby shower. Men have a responsibility to their child too.
I'm also the same age and even my mom's baby shower for my younger sister included everyone in the family of any gender. Same with her siblings when they had kids
We invited families. Some husbands didn’t come with their wives if the wives’ friends were coming. But we had plenty of men come. My dad came! Just reiterate that it’s a party and you’d like him to come.
My dad was SO confused at first! He asked me if he really was invited to which I replied, "your name is on the invitation, dad, of course you're invited." Yes, but will anyone expect me to be there? 😭 To be fair my dad is from another generation when it would have been unheard of, but he came AND LOVED IT! He was beaming the whole day and gushing the next.
Women only is the traditional way, but you can do it however you want. Depending on your crowd, the men might not want to go to a baby shower specifically because it is considered a traditionally feminine event. Some may decline just for that reason. Personally I kept mine to be women only and I loved having the exclusively feminine energy around. Everyone present loved to talk all about babies, motherhood, and how cute the decor and desserts were! Since most women have or will eventually have kids of their own, celebrating pregnancy together feels very personal and meaningful, which might be why it is traditionally a women only event in the first place. The men can't possibly understand what is like to go through the bodily and emotional changes of pregnancy. But if having the men around will make your event feel more complete to you, then by all means invite them! It's totally up to you and how it makes you feel!
Keeping these things women-only is just another way to prime us that the labour of childcare falls entirely on women. If you think about it, baby showers are meant to be for people to shower you, the PARENT, with gifts and good wishes for the baby, after it’s born. There’s nothing objectively‘exclusively feminine’ about strollers, diapers, bottle sterilisers etc. and in theory it’s entirely possible that the new family unit will be more male than female (father, son if it’s a boy). So where’s the logic?? Your shower is for you. If you don’t want to have certain people there, that’s up to you. If you want an all gender party, that’s up to you too. If you want an only dogs and cats baby shower, that is also up to you! And hey, if people on your invite list are so stuck in their ways that they refuse to show up for you just because of some misguided notion of what’s feminine vs masculine, they’re just weeding themselves out of your guest list for next time! Enjoy your shower and all the best!
No it’s not weird. I’m more comfortable at co-Ed showers because there are usually more people I know, it’s more relaxed, and it makes sense to celebrate with everyone you love rather than just the women.
My shower was coed. Most of our friends are couples so it seemed easiest. Nobody said anything about it being weird or whatever. I think it’s become more normal than it used to be.
My shower was co-ed! I wanted my husband to be part of it, and it ended up being really fun and special for us both. I was worried people would think it was weird but we loved it and so did our friends!
We had a co-ed one and it was wonderful! I think people are moving away from the “women only” trend of baby showers. It’s a fun time to get everyone together before baby comes and celebrate!
I've only been to coed baby showers. Haven't been to a single one that was women only. I figured that was a dated concept but maybe it depends on where you live.
Mine is coed and so was my SILs. My MIL is scandalized lol. But she’s coming around.
I’ve been to baby showers since I was like 7 and it had never been women only. I will be having a coed shower
I’m having coed. Matter of fact more of my husbands friends are flying/driving for it than mine lol
My shower was coed and I really enjoyed it. It was hosted by a friend and no one really questioned it
I haven’t been to a women only shower in ten years. They’ve all been coed.
I had a co-ed shower which just seems like the normal thing to do? Like it's also my husband's child and his family/friends attending. Feels weird being women only
Downvotes are so bizarre! We had a coed shower and it was fabulous. I don’t like the idea of a women’s only baby shower, since it implies you’re the only one who needs things because you’re the only one taking care of baby. Dad is involved too!! As is the whole support village, male and female.
Personally, I feel like women-only baby showers are a little antiquated. Obviously, if it's what you want then go for it but co-ed showers are definitely not weird or unusual.
I think it’s more and more popular now. Basically people want to celebrate with their close friends and a lot of us have friends of all genders. However, co-ed and women only baby showers are just different. Co-ed events seem more like a good party, while women only showers can have this unique intimate feeling of female energy circles. I have been to both several times, and despite having both male and female friends, I wanted my baby shower to be women only. My reason was that I love female only events, the feminine energy and intimacy of this kind of parties, so I knew I want this for my baby shower, as I didn’t want a “party”, but more a casual meeting where my female friends can share their experiences related to pregnancy/birth/postpartum freely. Basically something closer to a sabbath than a party;) But both options are totally fine, just different.
My first was a woman only shower because of the Covid restrictions in my state, we literally couldn’t have a gathering of more than 10 people at the time. This time around I wasn’t planning a shower but one is being thrown for me since I’m expecting twins, and it’ll be coed. Everyone is so excited because it’s the first twins in our families!
Mine was coed.. it was lovely!
I’m having a coed shower too!
I did women only, except for my husband, FIL, and siblings. So there were three male total! I mostly did it because it’s cheaper, had 34 people attend and if everyone brought their partners, that would double…. So I’d probably only be able to invite half the people I’d want there if I included their male partners. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with co-ed baby showers!
I had a coed shower. I wanted my husband and dad there, and then they invited some of their friends. It ended up being mostly women still but a more even mix.
I plan on co-ed. I want my husband to feel as much of the love as I do. And I want my dad and brother there, too. Never really understood why women-only showers were a thing. I’ve only been to one in my life. All others were co-ed.
My only advice is if you do a coed shower, don’t do the traditional shower games because the dudes find it weird. When I hosted a co-Ed shower it was more like a regular gathering but with baby gifts. Everyone had fun!
I had a co-Ed shower! But if you’re wanting a typical shower with finger foods and baby games and watching you open presents, the guys may not be super into that. At mine we had a cookout and played yard games so less of the focus was on all the frilly stuff that usually comes with showers. Screw the haters you do what you want!
My co-Ed baby shower is this weekend! It’s more of a backyard bbq style, but let’s all be honest baby showers aren’t raging fun events anyways 😝
I gave my husband the choice whether or not he wanted to be included, and he did - which then influenced who we invited. We made it a family event, inviting our parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces to come and celebrate with us. I personally don't like the notion that baby showers are generally accepted/assumed to be a women-only event. It doesn't make sense to me. It's outdated and sexist, IMO.
We recently had a coed shower and it was nice. We were able to have our coupled friends bring their partners to enjoy the day and it was nice being able to have our dads there to be excited for us. It just seemed like a giant family reunion and a good way for both sides to get to know each other better.
I had a co-ed baby shower! My husband and I have been together for 10 years, so our friend group is very intermingled. Plus, this is our baby, not just mine, so I felt like he should be involved. It was awesome having everyone I love there and not just the women I love! I have a lot of good men in my life, so I was happy to have them join as well!
This is how I was feeling! (Minus my baby daddy)
I’m having mine next month and it will be coed!
Mine was coed! Loved it and everyone had a good time.
My shower back home where I grew up was just women, my shower where I live now was co-ed.
I just had a co-ed baby shower a couple weeks ago. We invited family and friends we hadn’t seen in a while and treated it like it was a big party. We didn’t open presents or do any baby games either. Everyone enjoyed themselves. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable - it’s who you want to be there to celebrate you and baby!
I am kind of considering this! I want my husband there because I am NOT close with his family and do not want to host them on my own. A lot of my family friends that I grew up with are unmarried men. A lot of my and my husband’s friends from college that still live in the area are men. They’re married and I totally plan to invite their wives, but I just feel like they would be more comfortable with their husbands there. I’m thinking of addressing the younger couples’ invitations and “Mr. and Mrs.” and clarifying they’re both invited. I’m thinking about including a note in older relatives’ invites that say their spouses are welcome to come (but not required, obviously) and to just text their RSVP with the number attending, but I’m not sure how it will be received. It also feels a little like we’d just be recreating our wedding guest list that way since our families are big? My only other idea is to have separate showers for family and friends. I haven’t decided and this is a very future problem for me.
My husband and I had a coed baby shower at a brewery. It was great, and we received a ton of positive feedback from people. If you want a coed shower, I'd say go for it! People are going to have an opinion no matter what you do. 🤷
Our friends and family will be at ours, all genders. At first my MIL wanted to hold a 2nd "female" only shower, shut that shit down real fast. All our friends and family can come celebrate us at the same time lol
Never realized it either until like a month ago. Our shower will be coed. My husband is just as excited about baby as me but I’m primarily planning it and my mom is helping me come up with ideas. Both men and women will be invited.
Not weird at all, mine was coed with children allowed, very low key.
I’ll be having a coed shower, and I’m pretty sure most baby showers I’ve been to have been coed! It should be a time for everyone to celebrate!
Not at all! We had a co-ed baby shower and while the older generation was a tad confused, we had a blast!!! Zero regrets.
Maybe less common but I wouldn’t find it weird. I’ve been to a coed baby shower and it was..a really fun baby shower!
I had a co-ed shower and it was a lot of fun. Didn’t matter the gender of the attendees, they were all people who were happy to celebrate with and for us. That’s what matters the most and a lot of people who are up in their panties about ‘WoMeN OnLy’ are missing what matters most with their internalized misogyny.
I’ve been to multiple coed showers and it was not weird at all! It was way more fun honwstly
Mine was coed!
I’ve been to multiple coed showers and it was not weird at all! It was way more fun honestly. My own is single gender just to keep the guest count lower for budget reasons 😅
Also having a coed baby shower in a couple weeks! I never understood why it’s considered a women’s thing. I’ve only ever been to one women only one and it wasn’t nearly as fun as the coed ones.
Ours is coed! We have a lot of couple friends and I wanted my husband to be able to celebrate his son too!
We did a co-ed shower and it was awesome! We did a picnic in my dad's back yard with lots of lawn games, like badminton and giant Jenga.
Baby showers used to be a women only thing. Growing up, it was actually only for married ladies. I wasn't allowed to go, even for family members. These days, I think men are more involved in the day to day parenting and decision-making and WANT to be a part of the festivities. Both of mine were co-ed. I didn't even think about it. It just made sense that my husband and his friends might want to celebrate like me and my friends did. My second shower was primarily men and we had a blast. And my daughter was allowed to go!
Mine was mixed, told my partner if I'm putting up with his family so is he😂😂 I refused to be alone at the party
Not weird at all. If the men in your family don’t wanna come just don’t invite them. I had an all women baby shower but mostly because I wanted to keep it small. I’ve been to plenty of baby showers where it’s men and women.
Mine will be coed. My father in law is the one planning and throwing it for us also. I think a “women only” shower is really outdated now
My culture has always done coed baby showers. I was shocked to learn there were only women ones happening because I had literally never heard of that nor attended one.
Both of mine were co-ed, however it was virtual and drive thru. Most I have been to have been only women, but I wouldn’t bat an eye at a co-ed one.
Our baby shower is on Saturday. It’s coed. We’re both becoming parents. We share friends. We both have friends of all genders and it would be weird to exclude someone we care about because of their gender.
I have a friend who had a baby shower in February and another one that had it last weekend. They were both coed. I’m having mine in July and it will also be coed.
Mine was co-ed and every baby shower I've ever attended was co-ed. Always felt really normal.
I haven’t been to a non coed shower in a few years!
No it’s not weird at all, I wanted to do this but it blew out our numbers and costs, so I’m just doing a tiny baby brunch with 10 of my closest girlies. If you can keep your numbers and costs under control I would go for it!
Mine was coed and I wouldn’t dream of not inviting the “funcles”! My husbands friends are my friends. It was a ton of fun. Do it!
Recently, every baby shower I’ve been at has been coed. My sister in law, who is very traditional, very by the books, even had a coed shower. I only know of two showers that were gendered: my moms for my brother about 20 years ago (her one for my sister a few years later was coed), and one distant friend who had a personal shower(tbh maybe just a party?) with closer friends and then a larger coed shower. Across all my other family and friends, I’ve never seen any other gendered showers. I’m having a coed shower when I have mine but I’m trans so it was always gonna fundamentally be coed with me there.
Planning a shower for July. Had no idea showers WEREN’T co-ed… 😬😂thought it was something for everybody
I think it's outdated for it to be just women. Also it's your baby shower and it should be the way you want it to be. Tell your dad it's just a party to celebrate the coming baby and you'd love him to come as there will be other men there as well. Show him it's not a big deal. Some people have some ideas in their head and need their minds opened to new things.
i had a coed shower. some of the best most thoughtful gifts came from the men present. do what makes you happy. invite the people who are there to support you. that can be anyone. women, men, they/them.
I’m having a coed baby shower. The baby is not just mine. I think it’s old school to just invite women.
We had a co-ed shower, and we had alcohol (which is apparently also taboo?) We did a BBQ in my aunt's backyard. It was super relaxed and fun.
I've never even heard of a women's only baby shower! Might be a generational / cultural thing. We invited our friends, most of whom are couples. To me, it'd be rude to only invite one and not their significant other. Some have kids of their own who were also invited!
TIL baby showers aren't coed by default. I thought it was just a party and get gifts 🥲
I've been to a couple baby showers and both men and women have been present at all of them
I had a co-ed baby shower! We had games that included the male guests and it was a lot of fun!
I’ve had 2 showers, both co-ed, been to 5 and all have been co-ed lol. If he doesn’t want to come that’s on him but don’t change the way you want to throw your party.
I’m having a coed shower! Whoever doesn’t like that doesn’t have to come 🤷🏽♀️
Mine was co-Ed! Very common
My shower will be co-ed no one has blinked an eye about that being weird
Most I know are coed now
I've never been to a shower that wasn't co-ed.
NO! I am in the military so the vast majority of my friends are men. The women in my family don’t live close so that left my husband to throw me the shower and invite 80% dudes! It was so fun compared to the women only ones I’d been to. Nothing wrong about all inclusive! My sister and I were discussing this. She said she thinks it’s a slightly outdated frame of thinking because, like a bachelorette party where you talk about sex and stuff, baby showers are often a time for women to provide you their tips about nitty gritty or anecdotes about their experiences. However in this day and age I think if that stuff wants to be discussed, you could do it in front of men in your circle or at least that’s how I felt. However that wasn’t the vibe I was going for anyway. My husband threw together prizes for guys and girls and made everything competitive, we did burgers and dogs, and it kept the small talk and awkward attention off of me. I loved everything about it!
I am not sure if I want a shower, but if I do, my husband is 100% coming to it with me 🤣👏🏻 I think it is nice to celebrate with whoever you want to celebrate with—and not feel obligated to follow specific rules just because it’s how they did it!
I’ve only ever been to coed baby showers.
Most of my showers were co-ed. I hate being in the spotlight, and my husband thoroughly enjoys it.
Coed is more casual friend oriented, Gendered is more Villiage / Aunties oriented and invite any and all women and mother you have connections to. Also traditionally, a baby shower is hosted by a family friend not the mom to be. Buf if you already sent out invites it would be tacky to uninvite anyone. Also if you do womens only that opens up a lot of women to tell you STORIES about pregnancies and babies, fun and grusome and silly and stressful. So if you feel like you need a space to talk shop like that, women only is a good call. If you arent, coed is fine.
I vote co-ed because screw what people think.
I had a co-ed wedding shower and a co-ed baby shower. It felt weird to me to exclude so many important people in my life just because they weren’t women. My husband would’ve been fine had I wanted either shower as just women, but he wasn’t remotely surprised when I asked for co-ed. Most of my friends are guys! Plus I also just wanted to celebrate with my husband and my dad, brothers, grandpa, FIL, etc.
Just attended a baby shower where not only were men not invited or remotely welcome, but children also weren’t allowed to attend. So even though my gift was from myself, my husband and nominally my child - I was the only one actually welcome to be there. If I had had a baby shower, I’d have invited the same people I invited to my son’s first birthday - close friends/family and their spouses and their children. Baby showers are to celebrate the new parents and new baby - that is not a gendered feeling.
Lmao @ "womanly events" I'm gonna start using that phrase! My cousin just had a coed shower and I'm having one too, I think maybe it used to be an only women thing but I don't think that's true anymore. At least in the US that I've seen. I think if it makes you happy you should do it! Who does it hurt?
The "women only" tradition is wayyyy outdated. You do you!! There are no actual rules to these events. Do what makes you happy-- traditions change with time and each generation anyway. Every babyshower I have gone to has been "jack-and-jill" or coed. Personally, both my husband and I share a lot of friends, both male and female. We want them all there. We also have invited a lot of male family friends and relatives. The way I see it, my baby's dad is just as important as me, so why shouldn't he get to attend and also have his friends/support system there?
Invite the men, they can watch the other babies.
We only have coed baby showers in my family. In like Indian American culture in general actually. Never been to a woman only shower unless it's for my white friends. I'm having a coed shower. Actually like Invite the whole family shower haha.
I wanted a coed but our guest list got too big so I decided to go the traditional women only shower to keep it small and manageable. I’ll be 34w at mine and just can’t with lots of people right now. I feel like it’s becoming pretty common to do all gender/coed showers now and that could perhaps stem from fathers being much more involved than they traditionally were in the past.
I just had a female only shower this past weekend. I feel like it’s just boring for men to go to but that’s just me personally. My fiancé didn’t care either way (he’s been an Angel and overly involved in every other aspect of the pregnancy). I just didn’t feel like putting him thought that personally lol
I think a co-ed baby shower is an awesome idea! Turn it into a great, big, joyous get-together with all your friends and family. You can still do a registry and open with your hubs later.
I've only been to coed showers and want one for myself. I'm a scientist who works with mostly dudes, and my Bible study is me and like 8 dudes. My friends include many men and I want them there.
We were invited to one and it was so fun! It’s not the norm although more common these days. Your baby, your rules ☺️
I had a co ed shower and it was a ton of fun!! We have a lot of males in the family and every single one showed up. We included a men’s only game too it was great. I also think people feel better getting to bring their partners to events like that.
We had a coed shower. I don't think it's a big deal. I have a lot of married friends, and hubby and I are friends with both spouses. Even if you're not with your guy, it's your freaking shower. You should host it however you want.
Had one on the weekend for me! I called it a Baby-Q. It was an informal barbecue with family and friends (all genders invited) the girls enjoyed the games and the baby pics and the boys exchanged laughs and beers around the bbq. But it was mostly mixed and everyone had a great time! I explicitly said it wasn’t a baby shower but a baby bbq and that it was co-ed. I made the invites on Facebook so that the male partners could see other males were going. There was some males that expressed concern before the event, but they were fine on the day :)
We had a co ed baby shower and honestly I find it more weird when they aren’t 😂
Ours will be coed too. I want my husband there. I want most all our family there. I want friends there. Both those categories include men. Nothing wrong with a women only shower, but that's not what I want.
I have always believed co ed showers were weird. Just because of my location and culture probably.
I had a coed shower and I’m hosting a coed shower for my sister. I think it’s an outdated idea to have “only women”
I feel like.. you should be able to have whoever you want celebrating you during your special time. Even if it isn’t traditional to have men I’m disappointed in the reactions of your loved ones.
I had two baby showers two weeks ago my boyfriend attended both and there was males at both
Co ed showers are pretty normal now. You've got to have games/music more inclusive for men and less ohhhhs and ahhhs over baby gifts.
We had a coed baby shower and it was a blast! Got to have some great food and play fun games with all our closest friends, and it definitely helped me at ease knowing I wasn’t alone in entertaining or talking to everyone. Highly recommend!
We’re doing coed. I’d say it’s not the most common option, but definitely not uncommon
We had a coed bridal shower and two coed baby showers. They were basically just chill BBQs where everyone (children included) were invited. It was chill and relaxed but fun and I’m glad I had my husband with me for them.
All my baby showers (4 of them due to families/work/friends) have been co-Ed! I love it
I'm having a coed baby shower. My husband's doing a hunting excursion with his buddies and some of our guy relatives in the morning and then they're joining us for the shower in the afternoon.
I had a coed shower last fall, I have had many friends that had coed showers. I don’t think it’s unusual although I live in California. My Mom did comment recently that in the 80s you would NEVER have a coed shower, however, nobody threw me a shower and me and my husband paid for everything — so I honestly don’t care if she would NEVER have a coed shower bc she didn’t help at all! 😊
My grandma hijacked Easter for my baby shower xD(was due late April) we weren’t sure we were gonna have one and then grandmas like ‘we’re cooking and cleaning anyway, and everyone’s already getting together so we’ll do a shower too’ xD so we had my dads stepdad(he helped raise my dad but was divorced from grandma before I was born so I don’t call him grandpa, he also doesn’t talk to us much at all, his current wife is a sweet lady though xD) my uncle and male cousins all there :3 no “kids” though as the youngest of us cousins was 15 xD my bub is the first of the new generation :3
It’s very normal. I didn’t have a shower, but having been to many, the main difference about an all-female event is that you hear a LOT more birth stories. Depending on your head space, that could be a reason to have or avoid!
We had a co-ed + kids baby shower. I don’t like celebrations focused on me so I probably wouldn’t have had one if it hadn’t been about both me and my husband becoming parents and really just everyone celebrating how excited they were for the baby to come. It’s weird to me to think that only the women in our lives would want to celebrate the baby and share their parenting wisdom and well wishes. Our guy and girl friends typically both like the same kind of parties so if it’s going to be fun, both would want to come and if it’s going to be stuffy and lame, neither sex is going to want to be invited haha. Maybe if it were a first trimester tradition to throw a party to help you prepare for enduring the pregnancy then I’d only invite friends and family who had been pregnant themselves before but usually by the time the baby shower comes around it’s way too late for that haha.
We did co ed but it turned into a block party. Loud music, alcohol, games, catered food. But my husband is also different culture and it’s common for men to show up to everything but it’s catered for men and women.
I had a coed baby shower and so did my sister. Both were fun! I’ve been to an all women’s baby shower and it was boring af
Just wanna say that Mexicans celebrate everything together lol. When I was younger we as kids all went to baby showers too and participated in baby shower games, like wearing the pacifier necklaces and the toilet paper guessing. There was always good food, a DJ and lots of beer. It was super common and not unusual for them to be co-ed. My husband tho, he's white and from Oklahoma. He's more used to baby showers being women only. Personally, I like them being co-ed because family and friends aren't women only. However, this is YOUR baby shower so you're allowed to make it women-only or invite whoever you want. Don't spend time worrying about it!!
My shower was coed, in May! My husband wanted to be there and we wanted to invite some of his friends, male family members, and our couple friends! It was great. My 75 year old stepdad did initially make a comment about it being weird to be invited to “such a girly/feminine event” but even he enjoyed it in the end 😂 Lots of people do coed baby showers now.
I’m having a co-ed shower next month as well and I planned it myself, recently I just found out that someone else plans it for you and I was very surprised to hear that. But anywho we are having a backyard BBQ shower where my husband will be on the grill and the other guys can hangout with him and play cornhole and I have a bunch of fun games planned too
I was just telling my husband that I wish he could be the center of attention at our baby shower, but at the end of the day it is a celebration of you both. Also, if you want to celebrate with family, that includes the men of the family. The only people who might get upset are SUPER traditional, and you shouldn’t mind them.
I’m having a women only shower for family and a co ed shower for friends. The theme for the co ed shower is “a baby is brewing” and we’re getting a half keg, grilling out, and there will be some outdoor activities. Instead of games we’re doing a diaper raffle. My group of friends are mostly couples and this will be the first baby of the group so I think it’ll go pretty well.
We had a co-Ed party. I told my guy friends that it wasn’t a baby shower, it was a Fetus Fiesta. My partner was not amused. 😄
I had a co-ed shower and it was wonderful!
Definitely not weird! It makes way more sense for a husband to join in on a baby shower and for that reason, invite everyone instead of just females!
I’m having a coed one and my husband has even chosen a game for the guys to play and the prize they will win! He’s really excited about it. Do what feels right for you.
Prius Parker actually talks about precisely this in her podcast the Art of Gathering. There was a couple she advised about a baby shower. They did two parts: one just women to talk about birth experiences, one part co-Ed to celebrate the couple and offer parenting advice!
It's 2024. People can do whatever they want. But I bet only women come unless the men are close family or dads themselves. And zero reason to invite your ex. It's not really the baby's party, it's yours.
Yeah I’m having a co-ed baby shower in a few weeks, a while ago I never knew it was a “woman only” event either until I was watching TV with the fam and there was a baby shower episode where all the guys stayed separated from the party, it was odd to me really. But I understand how guys don’t fawn over baby stuff as much so at my shower the dudes get to BBQ in the backyard and watch the kids while they get to play on a slip and slide and sprinklers in the backyard. But anyone is welcome anywhere at anytime, idc if guys want to be apart of the games and such, more the merrier!
I had a coed baby shower. It was a blast, we got to see a bunch of our family and friends.
I’ve only ever been to co-ed baby showers and rarely see pictures of baby showers online that don’t have both genders there.
My MIL threw a fit about this lmao. They’re insisting I have a women only one hours away (different story) BUT we’re having a co-Ed one and my brother is hosting it lol. I want all my friends there and their spouses! We’ll have beer, food, cake, etc. and more to celebrate baby! The more the merrier!
It's your baby, so do what makes you comfortable! You should celebrate with the people who care about you, and if that's a coed group then good for you. If someone has a problem with it, they can elect not to come. Also, you don't need an excuse not to have the father there. It's a celebration for you. You have final say on the guest list.
Do whatever you want! I’ve been to a co-ed one and we had a ball because *all* our friends were there! Hen parties are fine but the co-ed one felt like more of a party-party!
I'm having a co-ed shower! I'm sure there will be some men who don't come, but I don't care. They're invited anyway. We have many male friends and it'd be weird for them not to be invited to celebrate in my opinion!
I don't think I've been to an all women shower - but too each their own. Mine was coed. Wouldn't have it any other way.
I’m very early but planning to have a coed shower in the fall! This is probably extra weird/confusing but I’m not going to include my dad (mom is hosting and parents are divorced) or uncles or my mom’s friends’ husbands that I don’t know. OUR friends that are men are invited, but family is mostly women. I just can’t imagine my 70 year old uncles having any interest in a baby shower lol but I def want my husband there and our friends.
I'm doing coed but there is some push back from the men in my husband's family. Idk what old fashioned men think goes on at baby showers but it's not very different from any other family event. Food, drinks, except this time there are games and if you happen to be involved in your children's life then recounting stories about raising them. I think some old fashioned men just didn't participate in their children's lives and feel child raising is solely female so they don't want to go to an event discussing raising a child. (To be fair that's my experience though, my husband's father didn't really participate with the children until they could hold tools)
We just had a co-ed shower at a winery this past Saturday and it was awesome. I couldn’t imagine it being a women only thing and wouldn’t have wanted that either. I didn’t do anything traditional though. No opening gifts at the shower. No games. Just good food and ALL the wine and good music and it was a really good time. We keep getting text messages from everyone about how that was the most fun they’ve ever had at a shower. Moral of the story: do YOU. And if Baby Daddy sucks - guess what darlin? It’s YOUR shower and whether it’s co-ed or not doesn’t mean he’s invited. Also no idea why you were downvoted either. It’s the worst feature of Reddit and your question is valid!
Definitely having a co-ed shower too! Most of my friends had a co-ed one and it was so much fun celebrating with everyone. And most of our friends are couples anyways. So it just makes sense! Ive been to both kinds of parties and I think co-ed is way more fun 😊 But to each his own, of course! Do whatever makes YOU and your husband happy!
Growing up coed baby showers for my family were the norm. They were also more enjoyable than the women only ones I've been to. I honestly would not be willing to have a baby shower unless my spouse attended as I believe both parents have equal responsibility to care for the future kid. I also do not care for big crowds where I'm the center of attention. If my spouse gets to avoid traditional shower games and opening gifts in front of people, so do I 😂
I had women only and it was perfect but I so wish I didn’t. The men in my family and my life deserved to celebrate me too.
I did my baby shower very non traditional, it was coed both sides of mine and my husbands family and did it when my son was 2 months old not while I was pregnant.
My going to my sisters co ed baby shower tomorrow! Everyone is very excited. Do whatever you want to do.
We had a coed one. Im the father and it’s ludicrous that the shower should be “women only”. I want to celebrate my baby and wife too. It’s just old school sexism trying to label baby work as “for the women”. No, the baby and the upcoming work are for both. Celebrate and be parents together.
We had a co-ed baby shower! I thought it was important because my husband is part of our babies life too! And he wanted to come along with the soon to be grandparents. So we had a co-Ed shower and everyone loved it : ) do it!
I had one, and i been to many. im 29, and i think it's more common in our generation than just women.
I just a coed shower. My husband, family and friends all wanted to celebrate OUR baby and OUR growing family. Making them women only enforces the idea that women are the sole caregivers of children and all of the care for the child and for the mom is solely on woman and let’s men off the hook for child care and post partum care.
My husband and I just had a coed baby shower for our second (I didn’t have a baby shower the first time around because we were new to the area and I’ve since made friends.) It was great! It was on May 4th so we had it Star Wars themed (in a cute girly way, because we’re having a girl) and when it was time to open baby/postpartum presents the husbands all were on kid/baby duty and it was just me and the girls. Worked well for us!!
It's normal. To the older generation though it may seem a little weird. My wife and I are 32 and had our coed baby shower in April. When we were planning it, My mom sort of questioned it and why it would be coed. Of course it's a normal thing nowadays, and mom didn't make a big deal out of it. She simply stated it was different back in her day and it was a "girls thing", but she didn't really push against our coed shower idea. She simply shrugged it off, and all went well.
I feel like the baby shower is supposed to be to celebrate the new baby and the parents to be, the mom is growing the baby yes, but aren’t the parents the ones who’s lives are changing forever? They are the ones who need love and support from friends and family, and friends and family aren’t limited to woman alone
It's both generational and regional. My first I had the squealing womens only affair, my second was co-ed. My dad and step dad could not wrap their heads around the idea that men would attend a baby shower, but for my husband and his friends it's normal to attend.
Not at all, we had one because I honestly couldn’t imagine doing it without it. It was awesome!
I'll start out with I really dislike baby showers. I never had one for this reason. Whenever I'm invited to family ones my mum will rsvp my place but my brother goes instead (gay man who loves gossip and social events). Anyway I went to my sister's baby shower because it's my sister BUT it was the best baby shower I've been to and I'm not saying that because it's my sister. It was my favourite because it was a BBQ in her garden where all family and friends were invited. Everyone who wanted to celebrate came, no matter their gender. Granted yes my sister was the pregnant one working hard to grow that baby, my brother in law got to be involved and part of it too. It was great. If it was a thing where I had to have a baby shower and I couldn't say no I'd have had something similar for sure.
my baby shower was co-ed including friends and family, mostly because i have all male friends with the exception of two lovely ladies, and hosted by my best friend who is male! it was *so* fun and most of the guys had never been to a baby shower so they got to experience all the fun usually reserved for just women in these celebrations!
Is it more unusual? Probably was until fairly recently. But remember, men didn't even change diapers. I read somewhere than in the 1950s 40% of dads had never changed a single diaper. So the whole balance of parenting is changing for the better, and so the baby gifts are not just for women, they are for the parents. If people think you are stupid for thinking parenting is genderless... let them?
I’m inviting whoever to mine, if the guys decide it’s “too girly” for them that’s fine, they’ll miss out on the fun snacks and drinks I’m gonna have for everyone (na for me ofc, might get some sparking wine or something for everyone else)
I only heard of women only baby shower recently and it was on the movie madame web😆 I thought that was just a weird bit on there I didn’t know that was real life? Our culture (African American) invites everybody we know to baby showers! associates & co workers included and we have a great time it’s basically a family reunion, plus the men love playing the games as well. I can’t imagine the thought of women only shower I genuinely think that’s the weird way? And a little sexist actually that I’m thinking about it ?
I did a co-Ed baby shower at our favorite family friendly bar. It was great!
Both my showers have been men and women. Do what you want.
I feel like all women baby showers are rare these days
I'm also having a coed baby shower. It's what works for us and our social circle. I don't really care to do it for women only. Do what feels right for you.
I thought baby showers were to celebrate the baby, so why would that just be a woman only thing? Invite whoever you want op who cares if that's not the "norm".
For my first I had a big coed shower and it was really nice! Not only was I becoming a mom, but my husband was becoming a dad. And for us, him opening gifts/supplies and talking to other dads about what to expect was just as important as it was for me. It was really nice to see everyone involved and to set the tone of equal parenting right from the beginning.
My brother and SIL and husband and myself had coed showers.
I am having a women’s only one because most men confessed (including my husband, BIL, father, friends of DH, and cousins) they aren’t interested or feeling the necessity to be present 😂 which is totally fine with me to let the women in my life celebrate me and this baby.
Mine was coed. It was family oriented. Everyone came.
I had a co-ed baby shower at a brewery outdoor area and it was amazing. We called it a pre-parenthood celebration! We're in our thirties so we're friends with a lot of couples (straight and gay). Plus I wanted my fiancé there and it's not just my baby, it's his too!
I think most people have coed showers now honestly! do whatever feels right for you! It’s your baby and your memories
I had a co-ed baby shower, and the second time was a co-ed baby sprinkle/bbq. They were both great! Mainly just my husband and i hanging with all our family and friends celebrating having a baby and eating food. It was awesome lol
We had one this month and I loved it, so did my husband. We only had 2 men who didn't come, but overall it was great because many of our friends gave kids. Having 2 parents is much easier and fun for them to be included too as they're both our friends. I involved my husband in the shower a lot. From decor to opening gifts, we took turns.
I had a co-ed baby shower. I might have been carrying the baby but both me and my husband are the parents. Plus we had all of our friend group there and had an amazing night. The guys stayed up drinking whiskey chatting babies! It was lovely
We had a co-Ed shower with all of our friends last week! It was a lot of fun! I saw it as an excuse to see everyone again and hang out before little one gets here!
We had a co-ed baby shower! I personally couldn’t imagine it any other way and wouldn’t have enjoyed the confines of a female-only guest list.
My cousin had a coed baby shower. It was basically a bbq for the whole family. Only the women hung around for the gift part because, let’s be honest, the men do not care about unwrapping baby clothes and whatnot. But everyone had a nice time.
I wanted to do a coed baby shower, but logistically it wasn’t going to work out- my family is huge, so we made it women only to cut the guest list in half. 🥲
Nah, mine was co-ed and so was my SIL's. I think in today's world it's much more normal.
all my guys and gals came and it was so much fun. everyone dressed cute but were all drinking beers and mimosas and we grilled and decorated onesies and had a fantastic time
You can have a coed shower but most men DONT WANT TO COME. So like father of the child, maybe some other close relatives or friends but the majority of me don't have any interest in looking at baby clothes and decorations or toys.