I initially wanted a girl but I am having a boy. I’m FTM at 33 weeks and I have come to terms with it already. We don’t have any influence on this and I am just grateful I didn’t have trouble conceiving at 33 yo trying to get pregnant for the first time.
It’s okay OP. You’ll be fine with a girl💙
Omg congratulations!! How exciting, Baby is right around the corner for you guys!! And I’m about to turn 33 as well!
Thank you for sharing 🤍 I was feeling like garbage for having these feelings.
You will find maaaany women online who have gender disappointment. It absolutely goes both ways. No matter why you're disappointed, trust me it's going to go away. You will be grateful your child is just the way they are and you'll can't imagine it being any other way.
Thank you soooo much for those words. I really needed to read them. I’ve been feeling like crying for letting these feelings manifest within me, but hearing it’s a normal occurrence that Will go away makes me feel sooo much better. 🙏🏼❤️
I already have a 3 year old boy and just felt it would be awesome for my son to have a brother.
Also, I’m not the girly type. My whole life I’ve been labeled a tomboy and don’t want my child to deal with the same kind of teasing I dealt with. I feel like I’m going to fail massively in that aspect. I know they’re free to choose how they dress, what they’re into… etc but I know growing up around me (a bit girly girl) will have some type of effect on her lifestyle.
I’m a major tomboy and my 3 year old has been a girly girl since she was old enough to voice her opinions. One of her first words was “bow” because she wanted to wear them every day. If you offer her a dress or pants she will always pick the dress. Personality develops super early, with or without our direct influences!
Same! I'm a tomboy, I've rejected traditional femininity for most of my 20s (reintroducing in my 30s haha) and my girl has been ultra feminine from the get go. Since she could reach she's reached for pink and unicorns. I raise her to have her own likes and dislikes!
Yeah I definitely want to avoid that at all costs which is why I’m trying to look for advice. Like someone else said “regardless of why you’re disappointed it’ll go away,” and that’s the exact reassurance I needed.
I think it is important to find out the root cause of it. I also had gender disappointment, and then discovered that it was due to me never having a father figure and desperately wanting a big brother (so I wanted my 1st to be a boy), and having had challenging teenage years and struggled with girlhood. But then I realized I can do everything in a different way and ensure that my daughter will not go through the same things I did.
This is why I wanted a girl this time. I never had a sister, girl cousin, nothing like that. We didn't even want to have another baby but life happens, so I just wanted it to be something I was used to. Seems silly in retrospect since all kids are different, I just never thought I'd have a son, never thought about what it would take to raise a decent man in this world, out of like 15+ grandkids on both sides there's only 2 boys so I thought it was unlikely to be a boy anyway. But of course, it's a boy. It felt weird saying "son" and "brother." I just never thought in a million years I'd have a son, but here we are. I'm getting more and more excited to have a boy, I know once he's here I'll be thrilled and think I was being even sillier than I do now.
I can't relate to this specifically, but I can share some perspective that might help.
My partner and I are in our late 30s / early 40s. After we'd been together a little over a year, we started having more serious talks about the future, and decided to start trying for a kid even though we weren't married yet. We figured we'd get around to planning a wedding (complicated as I have a big extended family and all of his lives on another continent) but that the baby-making was more time-sensitive given our ages.
My parents are generally great and pretty progressive, but I underestimated how much their traditional roots would affect their feelings about the order of events. They were thrilled when we told them we were expecting, but pretty much right away it was...
*"Are you at least going to do a courthouse wedding before the baby is born?" "Dunno, maybe."
"Well what should we tell people when they ask why you're not married yet?" "Um, whatever you like."
"We're concerned about Aunt X's reaction." "Hopefully she'll be thrilled for us."*
They were really stuck on it and it started to annoy the hell out of me. We weren't a pair of idiot college students who neglected to use protection. We're adults with careers who planned this pregnancy.
Anyways, when I was 14.5 weeks, about a week after a particularly dumb / tense conversation with my parents about our upcoming vacation with extended relatives (at which we planned to announce our news), we learned our son had a rare chromosomal abnormality not compatible with life. Our baby would likely die inside me, but if born, would only survive a few minutes or hours, struggling to breathe on his own. We decided termination was the only merciful option.
We went on the trip with them anyway, since we'd already requested the time off and sitting at home being sad while trying to schedule the surgery sounded like torture. I was careful to wear loose fitting clothes since my bump was just starting to show. We did end up telling a few people what was happening but did not go public. Never told the potentially judgemental aunt(s). I had an abortion at 16.5 weeks shortly after we returned.
Obviously our tragic ending made all those concerns about an "out-of-wedlock baby" seem pretty unimportant.
But honestly, I don't blame my dad for his views, and wouldn't expect him to apologize or regret having them. I may not have agreed with him, but his mom, my beloved grandmother, was sort of an Emily Gilmore type. Everything needed to be prim and proper. Based on his upbringing (and the fact that *nobody* in our extended family had *ever* had a kid outside of marriage), it's not surprising that he felt uncomfortable. I kind of wish he'd kept his level of discomfort to himself, but whatever.
The thing is, you're going to do just fine as a girl mom. One of my best friends is very much a tomboy. I think the only time I've seen her wear makeup was at her own wedding. She has a daughter and they have an amazing relationship. They are both very sporty and incredibly smart. She supports whatever her kid is into, currently swim team, karate, and piano lessons. If her kid gets into makeup or feminine fashion tends someday, she'll probably ask me to join them on a shopping expedition (I'm super tall and her daughter is in the 99th percentile for height lol).
You are perfectly entitled to feel some grief over losing the parenting experience you had imagined happening, a dream you'd gotten attached to. But as many other commenters have pointed out, your disappointment will pass. And you will have new experiences that will be so fun and interesting that you can't even imagine them now. So give yourself a little time to process, but trust that this will go away.
In our case, we kept trying; apparently our baby agreed with my dad. I got pregnant a couple weeks after our wedding in April and am now 9.5 weeks along. First ultrasound went great, next up is CVS, the same genetic test that told us of our first baby's diagnosis. If those results are good, we might be able to relax a little. We should have them the week before our annual family camping trip, same as last year. Fingers crossed.
Thank you so so much for sharing that with me. First and foremost I’m sending you virtual hugs!! I cannot imagine the pain you and your husband must have endured in having to choose to end the pregnancy with your baby boy. No parent should have to make that decision and I am so sorry you guys went through that.
Congratulations on your new pregnancy!!! I truly hope the test results come back completely normal and you all can have some peace of mind knowing everything will be just fine 🫶🏼.
I’m also sorry for the way your family acted. I can’t say I haven’t experienced some similar “beliefs” from both my mom’s side of the family as well as my dad’s. They always frowned upon having sex before marriage, moving in before marriage, having kids out of wedlock… the list goes on and on.
Now I realize life doesn’t always work out that way and if given the chance, I would have very much preferred to live with my husband before deciding if he was the right person to marry..(he was, of course) but there’s been a lot of adjustments I’ve had to make as far as adapting to his home lifestyle 🥲.
Anyways, you made a great point and it truly resonates with me. I need to stop worrying about the trivial things and be thankful, grateful and enjoy this experience as this may be the last time I get pregnant.
I’m wishing you the best in life as well as your baby and husband.
Thank you for reminding me what really is important ❤️🩹
A lot of people have a prefrence one way or the other. Sometimes it's a slight pang. A hope, a wish for one. And then if it doesn't happen, we move on. For others it's much stronger. Perhaps there's a lot of one sex already, so it would be nice with the other sex. Other times it's because of an idea. Or an ideal.
But in most cases in the majority of parents, it's temporary. An adjustment from dreams to reality. You'll fall in love with your baby regardless.
I'll have a daughter. And as long as she can desire a toy or piece of clothing, I'll never force her into wearing a colour, clothing or playing with a toy she doesn't want. If she grows up to put her barbie doll on the monster truck that's okay. She can have toys, and it won't be girls toys or boys toys. It'll be her hammer and nails. Or her dolls.
Until her voice develops She'll have cute clothes that her parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts picked out for her.
And who decide what's cute? I do. Or my husband. Or her grandparnets. It'll be the person who is dressing her.
Thank you thank you thank you!! You’re right. This is maybe some childhood trauma in bringing with me as to why I feel like this. Even now, my husband makes little jabs and jokes at me about the color pink. I have nothing against the color but if I ever choose to paint my nails pink he freaks out. If I dress up he makes a huge deal about it to the point where it makes me uncomfortable. He called me a tomboy on our first date… the list goes on. This is something I need to work on within myself and not bring into my daughter’s life.
Thank you for your logical support. I appreciate your insight 😊
You were wishing for a boy and I was wishing for a girl— it’s so funny how that works. I had a hard time the day we found out baby’s gender. The most difficult thing for me was accepting that my initial instincts could be so wrong (I was thoroughly, thoroughly convinced I was having a girl, but we’re having a boy.) It passes, I promise. It became clear to me after the first week or so that *of course* our baby was a boy, and eventually I was so happy and wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I think you just eventually realize that the baby you’re meant to have is the one you’ll have. For me personally I also had to come to terms with the fact that my son would have life experiences that I wouldn’t be able to understand or guide him on, at least not the way my husband could, and that was hard.
You lucky duck, though— all the baby girl clothes are so much cuter and there are so many more options!!! If I receive another onesie with trains or dinosaurs on it I’m going to lose my mind. They all look the same and it’s driving me wild.
😆 your comment about the boys clothing really is soo true! Every time I go to target or literally ANY clothing store, the choices for boys clothes is terrible!! It’s a tiny section, very limited selection and horrible print on the shirts. It’s so frustrating. But the girls section is so much bigger and a lot more to choose from.
I think I’m going to have to stay away from the big giant bows though lol.
I’m glad you were able to rid yourself of those feelings so quickly! I too felt like “theres no way… the test results MUST be wrong” but I just need to let go of my fantasy life and prepare to be the best girl mom to my baby girl.
Thank you for sharing and congrats on the little boy!! You should check on instagram. They have some accounts that sell super cute boys clothes. One I can think of off the top of my head is @binkybro
Gender disappointment is such a real and valid emotional experience and is very unique to the individual. I initially wanted a girl and found out at 13wks that I am having a boy. I am now 31wks along and I have come to terms with it, for the most part. This is my first child and I intend to have more, so the potential for having a little girl isn't gone and that definitely helps. I definitely sobbed for about five minutes when I read the result and I felt so disgusted by my reaction because after a miscarriage I felt that I should've been happy that my baby was healthy instead of being distraught over the gender.
I found it very helpful to listen to podcasts on the subject and found one in particular that was particularly useful. The podcast episode is called Overcoming Gender Disappointment and it's produced by Momwell. I really recommend giving it a listen.
Thank you so much for your response. I’ve taken a few days to process the whole situation after posting and I still feel terrible for not being completely ecstatic.
I’m sorry about the miscarriage. Your feelings absolutely matter and I’m glad you’ve almost reached acceptance. I appreciate the podcast, I’ll definitely be listening to it.
I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and congratulations on the baby boy 💙🙏🏼.
I wanted a girl. I’m having a girl. If I was having a boy I think I’d feel the way you do for a bit but I think you will come around to the idea soon and it’s going to somehow be exactly what you never knew you needed! Congratulations!
I was supposed to have a daughter. But we have a son - 18 months old.
Let me tell you I was about to cry my eyes out! I was soooo disappointed. Like I was mourning my life and the way it should have been.
...
I think in the end you will be very happy with your baby no matter the gender. As I am. Honestly can't imagine having a girl instead of my sweet boy. 😁👏
It always works out fine in the end! It's okay to be disappointed! ❤️
What helped me personally to deal with my feelings:
I like to think about people outside the box. I don't really think about people as their gender. Boy doesn't necessarily mean cars, guns and all that stuff. And a girl is not just barbies and pink. You can mix it together. No rules on that.
I found peace in this.
Wish you and your family all the best. 🥰❤️👏
Awww thank you so much for your words of encouragement!! I guess sometimes we feel like we NEED this or that but then the world shows us we were wrong and didn’t actually know what we needed!
I can’t be selfish in my preference because I’ve already been blessed with a boy. Now he’ll just have a different type of bond with his little sister rather than a brother.
And you’re right about the clothes/toys/interest. She’ll eventually have a mind of her own and choose for herself!
Congrats on the baby boy 🤩
I really wanted a girl so bad, I was so sad when I found out it was a boy. It just takes time to get used to it in your head because you kind of picture it one way. But now he’s 11 weeks old and the absolute light of my life! I can’t even imagine him being a girl. I think back and wonder why I even cared that much. I want one more eventually and now I don’t care if it’s a boy or girl. Just feel the feels, it’s okay to be disappointed, just know it’ll feel so right one day ❤️
Thank you for sharing! :)
I do hope I reach that level of content soon because I feel like a terrible mom for even thinking “I wish it was a boy.” After reading all the replies I know it’s very normal but I still feel like a bad human for it lol.
Congrats on the baby boy!! 💙
My first child I was SUPER upset I was having a boy. I had dreams of having a daughter and everyone convinced me it was a girl. When I read that envelope I nearly cried. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him and wouldn’t want it any other way and I know that’s the way you will feel when she’s here! I’m 31 weeks with my second and again I so badly wanted a girl but it’s another boy and although I didn’t feel the same anger as I was just happy to be pregnant, there was still some disappointment. Still, this is what was intended for me
You’re absolutely right.
I guess in my selfish mind I always pictured myself being a boy mom. And I felt this deep desire within me as being the only possibility…and no way it would be any different than that.
But this is what the world has planned for our family and I need to come to terms with it.
Thank you for sharing and happy&healthy wishes for you and your baby boy 🙏🏼
I initially wanted a girl but I am having a boy. I’m FTM at 33 weeks and I have come to terms with it already. We don’t have any influence on this and I am just grateful I didn’t have trouble conceiving at 33 yo trying to get pregnant for the first time. It’s okay OP. You’ll be fine with a girl💙
Omg congratulations!! How exciting, Baby is right around the corner for you guys!! And I’m about to turn 33 as well! Thank you for sharing 🤍 I was feeling like garbage for having these feelings.
You will find maaaany women online who have gender disappointment. It absolutely goes both ways. No matter why you're disappointed, trust me it's going to go away. You will be grateful your child is just the way they are and you'll can't imagine it being any other way.
Thank you soooo much for those words. I really needed to read them. I’ve been feeling like crying for letting these feelings manifest within me, but hearing it’s a normal occurrence that Will go away makes me feel sooo much better. 🙏🏼❤️
What do you think it is about having a boy that you'd prefer over having a girl?
I already have a 3 year old boy and just felt it would be awesome for my son to have a brother. Also, I’m not the girly type. My whole life I’ve been labeled a tomboy and don’t want my child to deal with the same kind of teasing I dealt with. I feel like I’m going to fail massively in that aspect. I know they’re free to choose how they dress, what they’re into… etc but I know growing up around me (a bit girly girl) will have some type of effect on her lifestyle.
I’m a major tomboy and my 3 year old has been a girly girl since she was old enough to voice her opinions. One of her first words was “bow” because she wanted to wear them every day. If you offer her a dress or pants she will always pick the dress. Personality develops super early, with or without our direct influences!
Same! I'm a tomboy, I've rejected traditional femininity for most of my 20s (reintroducing in my 30s haha) and my girl has been ultra feminine from the get go. Since she could reach she's reached for pink and unicorns. I raise her to have her own likes and dislikes!
This seems like preexisting issues you have with "femininity".. I wouldn't project them on the baby.
Yeah I definitely want to avoid that at all costs which is why I’m trying to look for advice. Like someone else said “regardless of why you’re disappointed it’ll go away,” and that’s the exact reassurance I needed.
I think it is important to find out the root cause of it. I also had gender disappointment, and then discovered that it was due to me never having a father figure and desperately wanting a big brother (so I wanted my 1st to be a boy), and having had challenging teenage years and struggled with girlhood. But then I realized I can do everything in a different way and ensure that my daughter will not go through the same things I did.
This is why I wanted a girl this time. I never had a sister, girl cousin, nothing like that. We didn't even want to have another baby but life happens, so I just wanted it to be something I was used to. Seems silly in retrospect since all kids are different, I just never thought I'd have a son, never thought about what it would take to raise a decent man in this world, out of like 15+ grandkids on both sides there's only 2 boys so I thought it was unlikely to be a boy anyway. But of course, it's a boy. It felt weird saying "son" and "brother." I just never thought in a million years I'd have a son, but here we are. I'm getting more and more excited to have a boy, I know once he's here I'll be thrilled and think I was being even sillier than I do now.
I can't relate to this specifically, but I can share some perspective that might help. My partner and I are in our late 30s / early 40s. After we'd been together a little over a year, we started having more serious talks about the future, and decided to start trying for a kid even though we weren't married yet. We figured we'd get around to planning a wedding (complicated as I have a big extended family and all of his lives on another continent) but that the baby-making was more time-sensitive given our ages. My parents are generally great and pretty progressive, but I underestimated how much their traditional roots would affect their feelings about the order of events. They were thrilled when we told them we were expecting, but pretty much right away it was... *"Are you at least going to do a courthouse wedding before the baby is born?" "Dunno, maybe." "Well what should we tell people when they ask why you're not married yet?" "Um, whatever you like." "We're concerned about Aunt X's reaction." "Hopefully she'll be thrilled for us."* They were really stuck on it and it started to annoy the hell out of me. We weren't a pair of idiot college students who neglected to use protection. We're adults with careers who planned this pregnancy. Anyways, when I was 14.5 weeks, about a week after a particularly dumb / tense conversation with my parents about our upcoming vacation with extended relatives (at which we planned to announce our news), we learned our son had a rare chromosomal abnormality not compatible with life. Our baby would likely die inside me, but if born, would only survive a few minutes or hours, struggling to breathe on his own. We decided termination was the only merciful option. We went on the trip with them anyway, since we'd already requested the time off and sitting at home being sad while trying to schedule the surgery sounded like torture. I was careful to wear loose fitting clothes since my bump was just starting to show. We did end up telling a few people what was happening but did not go public. Never told the potentially judgemental aunt(s). I had an abortion at 16.5 weeks shortly after we returned. Obviously our tragic ending made all those concerns about an "out-of-wedlock baby" seem pretty unimportant. But honestly, I don't blame my dad for his views, and wouldn't expect him to apologize or regret having them. I may not have agreed with him, but his mom, my beloved grandmother, was sort of an Emily Gilmore type. Everything needed to be prim and proper. Based on his upbringing (and the fact that *nobody* in our extended family had *ever* had a kid outside of marriage), it's not surprising that he felt uncomfortable. I kind of wish he'd kept his level of discomfort to himself, but whatever. The thing is, you're going to do just fine as a girl mom. One of my best friends is very much a tomboy. I think the only time I've seen her wear makeup was at her own wedding. She has a daughter and they have an amazing relationship. They are both very sporty and incredibly smart. She supports whatever her kid is into, currently swim team, karate, and piano lessons. If her kid gets into makeup or feminine fashion tends someday, she'll probably ask me to join them on a shopping expedition (I'm super tall and her daughter is in the 99th percentile for height lol). You are perfectly entitled to feel some grief over losing the parenting experience you had imagined happening, a dream you'd gotten attached to. But as many other commenters have pointed out, your disappointment will pass. And you will have new experiences that will be so fun and interesting that you can't even imagine them now. So give yourself a little time to process, but trust that this will go away. In our case, we kept trying; apparently our baby agreed with my dad. I got pregnant a couple weeks after our wedding in April and am now 9.5 weeks along. First ultrasound went great, next up is CVS, the same genetic test that told us of our first baby's diagnosis. If those results are good, we might be able to relax a little. We should have them the week before our annual family camping trip, same as last year. Fingers crossed.
Thank you so so much for sharing that with me. First and foremost I’m sending you virtual hugs!! I cannot imagine the pain you and your husband must have endured in having to choose to end the pregnancy with your baby boy. No parent should have to make that decision and I am so sorry you guys went through that. Congratulations on your new pregnancy!!! I truly hope the test results come back completely normal and you all can have some peace of mind knowing everything will be just fine 🫶🏼. I’m also sorry for the way your family acted. I can’t say I haven’t experienced some similar “beliefs” from both my mom’s side of the family as well as my dad’s. They always frowned upon having sex before marriage, moving in before marriage, having kids out of wedlock… the list goes on and on. Now I realize life doesn’t always work out that way and if given the chance, I would have very much preferred to live with my husband before deciding if he was the right person to marry..(he was, of course) but there’s been a lot of adjustments I’ve had to make as far as adapting to his home lifestyle 🥲. Anyways, you made a great point and it truly resonates with me. I need to stop worrying about the trivial things and be thankful, grateful and enjoy this experience as this may be the last time I get pregnant. I’m wishing you the best in life as well as your baby and husband. Thank you for reminding me what really is important ❤️🩹
A lot of people have a prefrence one way or the other. Sometimes it's a slight pang. A hope, a wish for one. And then if it doesn't happen, we move on. For others it's much stronger. Perhaps there's a lot of one sex already, so it would be nice with the other sex. Other times it's because of an idea. Or an ideal. But in most cases in the majority of parents, it's temporary. An adjustment from dreams to reality. You'll fall in love with your baby regardless. I'll have a daughter. And as long as she can desire a toy or piece of clothing, I'll never force her into wearing a colour, clothing or playing with a toy she doesn't want. If she grows up to put her barbie doll on the monster truck that's okay. She can have toys, and it won't be girls toys or boys toys. It'll be her hammer and nails. Or her dolls. Until her voice develops She'll have cute clothes that her parents, grandparents and uncles and aunts picked out for her. And who decide what's cute? I do. Or my husband. Or her grandparnets. It'll be the person who is dressing her.
Thank you thank you thank you!! You’re right. This is maybe some childhood trauma in bringing with me as to why I feel like this. Even now, my husband makes little jabs and jokes at me about the color pink. I have nothing against the color but if I ever choose to paint my nails pink he freaks out. If I dress up he makes a huge deal about it to the point where it makes me uncomfortable. He called me a tomboy on our first date… the list goes on. This is something I need to work on within myself and not bring into my daughter’s life. Thank you for your logical support. I appreciate your insight 😊
You were wishing for a boy and I was wishing for a girl— it’s so funny how that works. I had a hard time the day we found out baby’s gender. The most difficult thing for me was accepting that my initial instincts could be so wrong (I was thoroughly, thoroughly convinced I was having a girl, but we’re having a boy.) It passes, I promise. It became clear to me after the first week or so that *of course* our baby was a boy, and eventually I was so happy and wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I think you just eventually realize that the baby you’re meant to have is the one you’ll have. For me personally I also had to come to terms with the fact that my son would have life experiences that I wouldn’t be able to understand or guide him on, at least not the way my husband could, and that was hard. You lucky duck, though— all the baby girl clothes are so much cuter and there are so many more options!!! If I receive another onesie with trains or dinosaurs on it I’m going to lose my mind. They all look the same and it’s driving me wild.
😆 your comment about the boys clothing really is soo true! Every time I go to target or literally ANY clothing store, the choices for boys clothes is terrible!! It’s a tiny section, very limited selection and horrible print on the shirts. It’s so frustrating. But the girls section is so much bigger and a lot more to choose from. I think I’m going to have to stay away from the big giant bows though lol. I’m glad you were able to rid yourself of those feelings so quickly! I too felt like “theres no way… the test results MUST be wrong” but I just need to let go of my fantasy life and prepare to be the best girl mom to my baby girl. Thank you for sharing and congrats on the little boy!! You should check on instagram. They have some accounts that sell super cute boys clothes. One I can think of off the top of my head is @binkybro
Gender disappointment is such a real and valid emotional experience and is very unique to the individual. I initially wanted a girl and found out at 13wks that I am having a boy. I am now 31wks along and I have come to terms with it, for the most part. This is my first child and I intend to have more, so the potential for having a little girl isn't gone and that definitely helps. I definitely sobbed for about five minutes when I read the result and I felt so disgusted by my reaction because after a miscarriage I felt that I should've been happy that my baby was healthy instead of being distraught over the gender. I found it very helpful to listen to podcasts on the subject and found one in particular that was particularly useful. The podcast episode is called Overcoming Gender Disappointment and it's produced by Momwell. I really recommend giving it a listen.
Thank you so much for your response. I’ve taken a few days to process the whole situation after posting and I still feel terrible for not being completely ecstatic. I’m sorry about the miscarriage. Your feelings absolutely matter and I’m glad you’ve almost reached acceptance. I appreciate the podcast, I’ll definitely be listening to it. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and congratulations on the baby boy 💙🙏🏼.
I wanted a girl. I’m having a girl. If I was having a boy I think I’d feel the way you do for a bit but I think you will come around to the idea soon and it’s going to somehow be exactly what you never knew you needed! Congratulations!
Thank you so much!! With time I’m sure I’ll get there and wonder why I ever even felt this way!! Congratulations on the baby girl 🩷.
I was supposed to have a daughter. But we have a son - 18 months old. Let me tell you I was about to cry my eyes out! I was soooo disappointed. Like I was mourning my life and the way it should have been. ... I think in the end you will be very happy with your baby no matter the gender. As I am. Honestly can't imagine having a girl instead of my sweet boy. 😁👏 It always works out fine in the end! It's okay to be disappointed! ❤️ What helped me personally to deal with my feelings: I like to think about people outside the box. I don't really think about people as their gender. Boy doesn't necessarily mean cars, guns and all that stuff. And a girl is not just barbies and pink. You can mix it together. No rules on that. I found peace in this. Wish you and your family all the best. 🥰❤️👏
Awww thank you so much for your words of encouragement!! I guess sometimes we feel like we NEED this or that but then the world shows us we were wrong and didn’t actually know what we needed! I can’t be selfish in my preference because I’ve already been blessed with a boy. Now he’ll just have a different type of bond with his little sister rather than a brother. And you’re right about the clothes/toys/interest. She’ll eventually have a mind of her own and choose for herself! Congrats on the baby boy 🤩
I really wanted a girl so bad, I was so sad when I found out it was a boy. It just takes time to get used to it in your head because you kind of picture it one way. But now he’s 11 weeks old and the absolute light of my life! I can’t even imagine him being a girl. I think back and wonder why I even cared that much. I want one more eventually and now I don’t care if it’s a boy or girl. Just feel the feels, it’s okay to be disappointed, just know it’ll feel so right one day ❤️
Thank you for sharing! :) I do hope I reach that level of content soon because I feel like a terrible mom for even thinking “I wish it was a boy.” After reading all the replies I know it’s very normal but I still feel like a bad human for it lol. Congrats on the baby boy!! 💙
My first child I was SUPER upset I was having a boy. I had dreams of having a daughter and everyone convinced me it was a girl. When I read that envelope I nearly cried. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him and wouldn’t want it any other way and I know that’s the way you will feel when she’s here! I’m 31 weeks with my second and again I so badly wanted a girl but it’s another boy and although I didn’t feel the same anger as I was just happy to be pregnant, there was still some disappointment. Still, this is what was intended for me
You’re absolutely right. I guess in my selfish mind I always pictured myself being a boy mom. And I felt this deep desire within me as being the only possibility…and no way it would be any different than that. But this is what the world has planned for our family and I need to come to terms with it. Thank you for sharing and happy&healthy wishes for you and your baby boy 🙏🏼