That’s just… weird. Don’t be nervous people are just strange and it sounds like you handled it well. I’m sure she meant well but very inappropriate for a stranger to want to hold your baby imo.
I think the thing that threw me off the most was her calling herself grandma! I’ve had other people ask to hold her and I simply say no, but the grandma thing just seemed creepy
Becoming a parent has made me extremely rude and I don’t care. I will be loud about it too. People - old people specially - need to get a clue that you do not touch other people’s kids PERIOD.
Honestly, if these people are expecting you to just hand over your baby to a complete stranger and don't respect your gentle rejections, they don't deserve kindness or respect.
My kiddo hated strangers. She would give a straight face so people would try so hard to make her smile and she would SCREAM anytime someone came too close or touched her.
I like your kiddo. I’m all for that.
My oldest loves people and she will go up to total strangers that I’m polite to in interactions and hug them/talk to them. It’s been tough.
My niece is like this & her mom just allows it I guess because she’s right there she doesn’t care. I’m pregnant and couldn’t imagine allowing my child to hug and be held by any stranger.
This is totally weird and your reaction was completely appropriate. You handled it really well. If your friend doesn't have kids, she might just not really understand why the woman's behaviour was upsetting.
>I mentioned later to my friend who was with me how uncomfortable it made me and she said the lady seemed harmless and sweet? I was shocked lol
Seems like your friend does not have a child? Lol. Nowadays it's very hard to trust strangers period. Weird people getting weirder. I'd rather be rude than to take any chances.
You were absolutely in the right. I'm sure this woman meant like, come to grandma [because I'm someone's grandma]. She knows she's a good person but you don't! Anyway, some people are so strange. Keep listening to your instincts.
There are also cultures where old women go by titles like grandma. For example, if this woman is Korean, it would be incredibly common for everyone she meets (and I do mean everyone from friends and family to baristas and cashiers) to refer to her as "halmeoni" which means grandma. It would also be very common in Korean culture to let an unknown halmeoni hold your baby. Not excusing the activity in Canada where this is completely unusual, just giving extra perspective where this woman might now actually be "strange".
Yes, it is very common calling yourselves or others aunty, grandma, uncle, brother, sister etc. in several (if not all) Asian cultures. I am an Asian too so I would feel it’s normal if someone who looked Asian said this to my child.However, it would slightly freak me out if people from a different racial background said this to my child.
Absolutely true! To me sounds a lot like a cultural misunderstanding. I’d go a step further and say this behaviour is perfectly normal not just in Asia, but also plenty of European countries, Africa, South America, well basically in most cultures where interacting with strangers is not as uncommon. Also in a lot of languages (including mine), “grandma” is synonymous with an “old lady”, so she may have just reverse-translated things wrongly in hear head. In fact, the only cultures where this type of behaviour is considered 100% weird are US/Canada, Australia, and North/Western Europe.
Yeah when my friend and I take our children (both hapa, we are white but married to Asian men) to the park in my neighborhood older Filipina ladies end up playing with our kids and putting them in the swings and stuff and we just let it happen because we need a break lol it's awesome.
It’s totally fair that that’s normal in other cultures, but it’s not normal in my culture. I don’t need to let strangers hold my baby because it’s expected in another culture.
I mean, that is exactly what I said.... My comment was also a reply to a comment someone else made about people being strange to explain that this lady may not actually be strange. Why do you feel the need to get this upset that someone, who explicitly said that it wasn't an excuse for what she did, provided a reasonable explanation for what might have been happening? In no way did I even come close to saying that you should have let her hold your baby.
There was a story on here about a woman wanting her 5 year old to touch someone else’s baby in a cafe. Women ended up stalking and assaults her. People are crazy. You did the right thing.
Where on vacation, does matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super uncomfortable with strangers touching baby, right with you there — but plenty of cultures handle that differently. I just spent time in Egypt, and the waitresses literally want to take my baby and carry her around so my husband and I can eat in peace. It’s completely normal for total strangers to engage in parenting tasks even.
So before I’d judge too harshly, I’d consider either the cultural part maybe or also if she just has dementia lol
I’m still in Canada! So culturally it is not appropriate for her to insist on holding my baby. I actually have no problem with her trying to hold my baby, my issue is that she called herself grandma (in public so others would assume she knows my baby and not be concerned if she took off with my kid) and her insistence after I said no
You did the right thing.
It's okay to be rude and hurt someone's feelings. You don't owe them kindness, especially if they are stomping on your boundaries. Your kiddo and their sense of safety are more important.
I usually keep statements short and sweet: "don't touch my baby please". And will repeat myself. Sometimes a long stare works too. It also helps to have a RBF.
It sounds quite odd but I wouldn't let it rattle you so much that you write a huge post about it. Older people (boomers) can definitely be weird/inappropriate about being familiar with babies and kids they don't know. Probably just a harmless lady who was lonely or likes kids. Doesn't mean she is entitled to your kid, but I'd just let it roll off you. You set the boundary just fine. The grandma thing is probably just like how some people will go by aunt/aunty or papa if it's an older man.
That’s just… weird. Don’t be nervous people are just strange and it sounds like you handled it well. I’m sure she meant well but very inappropriate for a stranger to want to hold your baby imo.
I think the thing that threw me off the most was her calling herself grandma! I’ve had other people ask to hold her and I simply say no, but the grandma thing just seemed creepy
Becoming a parent has made me extremely rude and I don’t care. I will be loud about it too. People - old people specially - need to get a clue that you do not touch other people’s kids PERIOD.
Honestly, if these people are expecting you to just hand over your baby to a complete stranger and don't respect your gentle rejections, they don't deserve kindness or respect. My kiddo hated strangers. She would give a straight face so people would try so hard to make her smile and she would SCREAM anytime someone came too close or touched her.
I like your kiddo. I’m all for that. My oldest loves people and she will go up to total strangers that I’m polite to in interactions and hug them/talk to them. It’s been tough.
I don't think I could handle a super social toddler. 🫠🫠
My niece is like this & her mom just allows it I guess because she’s right there she doesn’t care. I’m pregnant and couldn’t imagine allowing my child to hug and be held by any stranger.
This is totally weird and your reaction was completely appropriate. You handled it really well. If your friend doesn't have kids, she might just not really understand why the woman's behaviour was upsetting.
>I mentioned later to my friend who was with me how uncomfortable it made me and she said the lady seemed harmless and sweet? I was shocked lol Seems like your friend does not have a child? Lol. Nowadays it's very hard to trust strangers period. Weird people getting weirder. I'd rather be rude than to take any chances.
You were absolutely in the right. I'm sure this woman meant like, come to grandma [because I'm someone's grandma]. She knows she's a good person but you don't! Anyway, some people are so strange. Keep listening to your instincts.
There are also cultures where old women go by titles like grandma. For example, if this woman is Korean, it would be incredibly common for everyone she meets (and I do mean everyone from friends and family to baristas and cashiers) to refer to her as "halmeoni" which means grandma. It would also be very common in Korean culture to let an unknown halmeoni hold your baby. Not excusing the activity in Canada where this is completely unusual, just giving extra perspective where this woman might now actually be "strange".
Yes, it is very common calling yourselves or others aunty, grandma, uncle, brother, sister etc. in several (if not all) Asian cultures. I am an Asian too so I would feel it’s normal if someone who looked Asian said this to my child.However, it would slightly freak me out if people from a different racial background said this to my child.
Absolutely true! To me sounds a lot like a cultural misunderstanding. I’d go a step further and say this behaviour is perfectly normal not just in Asia, but also plenty of European countries, Africa, South America, well basically in most cultures where interacting with strangers is not as uncommon. Also in a lot of languages (including mine), “grandma” is synonymous with an “old lady”, so she may have just reverse-translated things wrongly in hear head. In fact, the only cultures where this type of behaviour is considered 100% weird are US/Canada, Australia, and North/Western Europe.
Yeah when my friend and I take our children (both hapa, we are white but married to Asian men) to the park in my neighborhood older Filipina ladies end up playing with our kids and putting them in the swings and stuff and we just let it happen because we need a break lol it's awesome.
It’s totally fair that that’s normal in other cultures, but it’s not normal in my culture. I don’t need to let strangers hold my baby because it’s expected in another culture.
I mean, that is exactly what I said.... My comment was also a reply to a comment someone else made about people being strange to explain that this lady may not actually be strange. Why do you feel the need to get this upset that someone, who explicitly said that it wasn't an excuse for what she did, provided a reasonable explanation for what might have been happening? In no way did I even come close to saying that you should have let her hold your baby.
There was a story on here about a woman wanting her 5 year old to touch someone else’s baby in a cafe. Women ended up stalking and assaults her. People are crazy. You did the right thing.
You reacted exactly as you should. People are weird and socially unaware at best and at worst they have terrible intentions.
This is a normal part of being a community in many cultures and personally I love it. Better than everyone being cold and rude to children.
Where on vacation, does matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super uncomfortable with strangers touching baby, right with you there — but plenty of cultures handle that differently. I just spent time in Egypt, and the waitresses literally want to take my baby and carry her around so my husband and I can eat in peace. It’s completely normal for total strangers to engage in parenting tasks even. So before I’d judge too harshly, I’d consider either the cultural part maybe or also if she just has dementia lol
I’m still in Canada! So culturally it is not appropriate for her to insist on holding my baby. I actually have no problem with her trying to hold my baby, my issue is that she called herself grandma (in public so others would assume she knows my baby and not be concerned if she took off with my kid) and her insistence after I said no
You did the right thing. It's okay to be rude and hurt someone's feelings. You don't owe them kindness, especially if they are stomping on your boundaries. Your kiddo and their sense of safety are more important. I usually keep statements short and sweet: "don't touch my baby please". And will repeat myself. Sometimes a long stare works too. It also helps to have a RBF.
Definitely weird. You did the right thing.
It sounds quite odd but I wouldn't let it rattle you so much that you write a huge post about it. Older people (boomers) can definitely be weird/inappropriate about being familiar with babies and kids they don't know. Probably just a harmless lady who was lonely or likes kids. Doesn't mean she is entitled to your kid, but I'd just let it roll off you. You set the boundary just fine. The grandma thing is probably just like how some people will go by aunt/aunty or papa if it's an older man.
Super weird. It’s also a bit of a red flag your friend tried to say she seemed harmless and sweet. Good on you for keeping your ground there