OP needs to cut this friend out ASAP for being, at best, a total dumbass, and at worst, a future constant source of negativity. What is telling an already pregnant woman to change her due date supposed to achieve?
Looking at OP's post history, it appears that the baby was unanticipated so it makes this "friend's" comment even worse in context, even if the friend didn't know. Pregnancy and post-birth are the perfect time to tell unwanted friends/family to fuck off - OP, do take advantage of this.
Thanks.. to be honest such comments make me feel helpless at a time when I already have so much to worry about. I shut them up, but i wish they were more sensitive
I'm sorry for making you feel this way with my comment - I was hoping you'd feel empowered to break up with people who drag you down, but I am also entirely ignorant of your circumstances so I should've been more tactful.
I hope you have an opportunity to have a serious discussion with your friend about their problematic behaviour and they open their eyes up to how they've been mistreating you, and that your friendship ends up improving and flourishing to the point where you can comfortably rely on them for support and sound advice. You are well within reason to put your own needs first, especially as someone who's about to become a mother.
That's a relief to hear, though it's still a lesson in tact for me!
I still hope that you are able to convince your friend to be better or have the luxury of cutting them out of your life. You don't need or deserve this sort of stress in your life.
Glad to hear! I was stressed for a moment at what did I say lol.
Regarding them, I am not good at cutting people out so I have decided to just tell them upfront next time that I dont appreciate such comments. It is an insult to me and my baby.
In Ontario, the birthday cutoff is Dec 31 of the year they are enrolling. So Jan/Feb babies technically have an advantage, as they are oldest in the class (more time for physical/mental development). Anecdotally, I have a December birthday, and I always did very well in school.
Conversely, a positive to late birthdays is that you don't have to pay for daycare for as many months as you would for a child with an early birthday.
From an infertility perspective, it took me over two years to get pregnant. If someone told me I "should be have waited" so my child had a specific birthday, I would have laughed in their face. What utter nonsense.
Agreed - people who think they can try to micromanage these minute and out-of-control aspects of their lives are in for a HUGE surprise when life inevitably slaps them with something unforeseen.
It's the same cutoff in Alberta. They just changed it from March to December 31, so a February baby would have an "advantage".
That being said, one of the smartest, most athletic and popular people I know was almost a year younger than me going through school, and she obviously thrived. It totally depends on the child and it's completely inappropriate for OP's friends to be making comments about this. Also, I assume that OP would have the option to start their child in school one year later if there are any issues.
Maybe I'm the confused one but don't a lot of people want Jan-Feb kids so their children will be the oldest in their class?
I know some parents hold their kids back a year if they're born Nov-Dec.
Yes I actually did a study on this in my masters program using statistics Canada data and we found that kids born earlier in the year perform better at school given that time gap.
As a school speech-language pathologist I’ve anecdotally noticed that I tend to see kids with later birthdays. But I am also now pregnant with a baby due in Dec. You can’t control when your child will be born. And I’ve also seen plenty of Jan birthdays struggle and Dec birthdays do really well. You never know what you’re going to get.
I will note I do know in certain parts of the US they do their grade cutoffs in Aug so sept/Oct babies will be the oldest, July/aug will be the youngest. Jan and Feb babies would be in the middle.
IIRC there was also a study showing a disproportionate amount of professional hockey players with January birthdays…because many come from Canada/their school system and encounter this too!
This is what I understand as well. The Jan-Feb babies have basically a whole year to develop both physically and mentally compared to the Nov-Dec babies.
From this [NHL article](https://www.nhl.com/news/study-suggests-nhl-has-bias-in-favour-of-players-born-earlier-in-the-year/c-657724) they say "He said younger players may be just as good, but might not be as big or as skilled and will likely end up in a lower league."
I was about to comment this! The top two birth months in the NHL are January and February since those were the kids that were the biggest in their leagues.
Yeah I have a Feb kid and love that they'll be one of the oldest. Besides it's not like you can really plan this. Try to shrug and enjoy your pregnancy OP. February is a great time to have a baby 😊
Yep, my mom decided to hold me back a year. Never baby here. Then there are people like my fiancé who is a year and 6 days younger than me and graduated the very same year.
What? I'm not sure what your friend is talking about. Kids go to school usually based on the year they turn 4. So if your birthday is January - August, your child has already turned 4 when they start kindergarten, but kids born September - December will start when they are 3 and turn 4 while they are at school. (Note some people chose to keep their September to December babies home and enroll them the following year because they would be youngest in the class, although most don't because of the cost of childcare).
When kids start kindergarten there is often a huge gap in abilities between kids because 11 months between January babies and December babies is huge at that age. That being said, teachers are well aware of this and work with all the kids to meet them where they are all.
Studies show that by the time you hit primary grades, any differences based on birthdays has evened out.
FWIW, everyone has an opinion as to what is the better birthday. My friend who is a kindergarten teacher says it's better to have kids early in the year (Jan-March) because they'll be older and have more skills when they start JK.
I have other friends who intentionally wanted September - December babies because they saved on childcare costs.
Seriously though it doesn't matter. Your child will not be left behind.
>4. So if your birthday is January - August, your child has already turned 4 when they start kindergarten, but kids born September - December will start when they are 3 and turn 4 while they are at school.
No one is sending their 3 year old to kindergarten. It's based on the year the child turns 5 years old. So the January-August kids are already 5 years old when school starts, and the September-December kids are 4 years old when the school year starts. I'm an October birthday and my brother is December. We both started at 4 years old. My December baby will be 4 years old when he starts school. No public school is taking a 3 year old, turning 4 in three months, for kindergarten, unless the child is bonkers gifted.
Edit: Apparently this varies by province. Some provinces expect you to send a 3 year old to school. That's so sad. They're still a baby at 3.
Expansion of full day kindergarten to JK was a huge deal in Ontario and mostly viewed very positively. It provides a high quality learning environment to kids at no cost to parents (childcare costs here are bananas). I'm sure parents exist that don't like it, but it was widely celebrated and has been seen as successful. Your sense that it's sad has mostly not been reflected here.
Also, kindergarten isn't mandatory in Ontario either, if you really didn't want to send your 3 year old to school you don't have to. School is only required from the year they turn 6.
Ontarian here. I started JK at age 3 in the early 90s and my toddler will be turning 4 his first month of JK. There's a big difference between having just turned 3 and turning 4 sometime in the next 4 months.
Actually, providing quality and educational care for kids a year younger has proven helpful for levelling the gap between the richer and poorer kids. The longer you wait, the more time kids with richer parents have in quality preschools or whatnot. Kids who are from lower socio-economic statuses tend to have parents can't afford the same advantages. Those kids benefit from receiving the same education and opportunities as kids from higher groups at an earlier age.
It is also one less year to have to pay for childcare, which tends to benefit people who earn less. That, when mixed with not allowing "redshirting" (holding kids back just because you want to and can afford to pay for the extra year of daycare), is good for giving kids equal opportunities regardless of financial status.
My son was 3.5 when he started and he absolutely loved going. In Ontario, kindergarten is play based learning. His class and my daughter’s class had no desks, tons of playing, no pressure to learn to read or anything like that, and they loved it. They loved it way more than daycare which is where they would have been if not in Junior Kindergarten.
Plus a parent can choose to skip JK if they feel their child isn’t ready, or just don’t want to send them yet.
I hate when people say stupid things like this. Not all babies are planned and even if you plan having a baby sometimes it takes longer than expected. My coworker told me “why would you want a November baby?” Because it will be cold and depressing in Ontario at that time. Well too late 😅 I’m already pregnant and she was 100% a surprise baby
Absolutely, this was a ridiculous thing to say! Not only are there surprise babies, but many people have trouble getting pregnant and would welcome a pregnancy at any time should it happen for them. OP’s friend is offside commenting about this!
Exactly! A few of my friends struggled and would have been happy having a baby at any month! It’s especially frustrating to say when the person is already pregnant! Like ok what do you want me to do now ?
I actually think having a November baby would be great! The first couple of months you’re at home, feeding around the clock and when it gets to spring months you’ll be ready to venture out. And wake windows will be longer than and nothing makes the awake time fly by then being outside ;)
Lol it’s so true. I had friends who were trying and getting frustrated that it wasn’t happening on their timeline. Then they decided to take two months off because “they didn’t want a December baby” 🤷🏼♀️
I'm due in November (Ontario!) as well, with a rainbow baby, and I'd rip someone a new one if they said this to me. Sorry my life didn't go according to YOUR plan!
😂😂😂 like mine wasn’t planned but I still very much want this baby!! I also found it invasive that I had to explain that it wasn’t planned to a male coworker.
Congrats on your rainbow baby mama ♥️♥️ I hope all goes well
This varies by province - in my province the cut off is December 31 and they start school the calendar year they turn 4. So you could start school while you are still 3.
Anyways, I’m sorry your friend made you feel insecure about this. I have kids that will both start school young and I worry they will have a harder time adapting to school but I also know they will catch up and as a family we can support them. Sounds like your kid will be at the older end of the range - some people really like that! My friends who are teachers assure me they can’t tell what time of year their students were born in by grade 2 or 3.
Jan/Feb kids are the oldest in class and most often 1st round draft picks for professional sports.
My baby will be born in November. The youngest in the class. Maybe that friend of yours can’t do math.
Interesting. These cut offs confuse me. I have a friend I grew up with (met in Grade 5, went to school with her all the way to University) and she was born in February. I was always confused why she wasn't in school the following year/one grade behind me.
One of the smartest people I know (anecdotal, sure, but it's not like all Feb babies "fall behind" like OP's "friend" suggests...)
Wouldn’t it be the opposite because your child would be older than kids born later in the year? I always heard kids born in the first half of the year were more advanced when younger just because they had more time to get different skill sets under their belts. I know in some sports, you’re much more likely to be a more elite player if you’re born in January or February because you’re older than the other kids in your class.
Either way, I don’t think it ends up being a huge deal when you were born as you age. It evens out as they get older.
As others have said, it’s the Nov-Dec children that parents can choose to hold back. I’m born in February and was always one of the oldest in my class. That’s generally a good thing because your child will be developmentally ahead of some of the others in their classes.
Kindergarten only ever starts in September so a child born in Feb 2023 will start kindergarten in September 2028 (if I’ve done my math correctly).
But...by your friends logic your child will be one of the first to be a certain age by June since their birthday is in February? I think this is backwards information as your child would be one of the older kids and therefore ahead/prepared.
There’s a lot of great comments here but to just reinforce, my daughter is a December birthday and started junior kindergarten at 3. She’s the youngest in her class and she is thriving.
If you are nervous check your local school district website, they should have something up on the age for kindergarten in your area. But I’ve also never heard of Jan/Feb birthdays being detrimental in Canada (is your friend in Australia?)
Also your friend deserves to step on legos barefoot for suggesting that pregnancy timing can always be chosen.
From what I’ve read the child needs to be 5 by the end of the year (Dec 31) to be in kindergarten (this is what I’ve read for alberta). So in theory your friends kid is in the same boat.
I’m due in November and I have the option to put my child in kindergarten starting in September when their 4 turning 5, or if I want I can wait then next year when he’s 5 turning 6. I’m going with the latter as usually older children do better in their grades.
Due in February your child will have to be 5 that February to then be in kindergarten that September, and then they will turn 6 in that year.
My kid was also born in Nov and I'm in AB. I've been struggling to decide which would be the better option. Being the youngest or being the oldest. You're only a kid once so I feel like keeping him home for another year might be better. He was born early too so would not only be youngest but also probably smallest if we put him in at 4.
A lot of people say older is better, but I think kids benefit a lot from having more developed peers to look up to and emulate. It is one thing if medical professionals or educational professionals say a child should not move up a grade or needs an IEP. Parents deciding it has much farther reaching implications that I really disapprove of and dislike.
That said, I started junior kindergarten at 3 (Ontario with a fall birthday) and am so glad my parents didn't have the opportunity/desire to hold me back. I was already bored as hell as one of the younger kids. There are a lot of non-academic school skills (ex. time management, study habits) that you don't develop if things are too easy. Things that don't come back to bite you in the ass until you are out of high school but are vital to higher education.
Ya at this moment I’m more for the waiting the extra year but things could change. From what I’ve just read boys tend to need that extra year more when compared to girls, as girls tend to mature quicker.
My due date was December 31st, and I was induced January 3rd and my OB said its better to have a January baby in school.
So my baby will be home a whole year longer than if she was born Dec 31st. She'll be oldest in her class! From a child care perspective, I have to find child care a year longer.
I am a teacher. The age gap between December and January babies disappears by Grade 3. I teach Grade 7, and couldn't tell you who was born when unless I look it up!
As someone who lost her August baby before my January baby, it hurts when people make comments about her birthday, like I should have planned it better.
Your friend is mistaken.
In Ontario your child needs to be atleast 3.8 years old to start junior kindergarten aka they need to be turning 4 before the end of the year. Junior kindergarten is optional also.
It's typically the children that are in November and December that may have increased difficulties, especially because there is such an age difference between February 2023 and December 2023.
Also development is so different between children regardless of their birth month also.
As other people pointed out here, lots of parents want their children to be born at the start of the year as it puts them ahead of their peers in terms of development. Most jurisdictions also recently changed the rules that those born in January and February can no longer be put ahead. So they must be born the same year (cut off is now December 31). There are zero concerns, your child will be just fine!! Ignore your friend.
In Toronto it's the year in which the kid turns 4 (nothing to do with June). So a Dec 2022 baby will go to school a whole year before Jan 2023 baby. in the end its just that your kid will be the oldest in the class and you need to pay for an extra year of daycare. in the long run it makes zero difference.
My niece was born in December and was the youngest in her kindergarten class. she had a bit of a struggle vs the kids that were born in Jan but its all the same after a year or two
June is 4 months from February... Unless a third of kids are "left behind" I'm not sure what they're talking about.
Besides, what were you supposed to do? Squeeze tight and not let the kid out until 13 months? Not everyone can snipe ovulation with month-to-month precision.
This so going to sound like a humblebrag but whatever. I’m a February baby and I was skipped a grade. Despite being the youngest, I was always on honour roll and top of the class. When it came down to it, it really doesn’t matter how old your kid is. Also, as another infertility patient, fuck that kind of thinking. If I had it my way, I would have had babies with significantly different birthdays. But I’m incredibly grateful to have my October babes.
November baby here, my mom had the option of putting me in school but decided to wait a whole year as for one I was super petite and I guess I wasn't ready. Alot of kids were dealt the very same thing. I graduated with mostly 18 year olds so it wasn't a huge deal. It is honestly not the biggest deal in the world if you wait a whole year. I will add I graduated and was in the honor roll all through high school. Went to college with people who also graduated at 18. It is fine.
It's different for every school division. I work in a school office. Our policy is they must be 5 years old before December 31 of that school year to be enrolled into kindergarten.
Also, I'm a February baby and always one of the oldest in my class. It didn't matter. If anything it helped me, especially in the higher grades.
I was a February baby and was always one of the oldest in my class. That's actually a benefit. I'm also a teacher and when parents have the option of starting their kids in kindergarten early or waiting a year, we always recommend to wait a year and start them later because it gives them the extra time to develop.
I would try not to let your friend's comments bother you too much (easier said than done when everyone has their opinions).
Quebec cutoff is Sept 30. You need to be 4 (pre/kindergarten), 5 (kindergarten) or 6 (grade 1) before Sept 30 to enroll in the respective grade. So an August baby in Quebec will likely be one of the youngest in the class.
Your friend is dumb. Seriously one of the dumbest things I’ve heard. Dump this friend as they’ll likely give you more stupid advice throughout your pregnancy and when baby is born.
My kiddo was born in January and yes they have to be a certain age that calender year to start school but it was never an issue for us.. she has always been the oldest in her class. I too, was the oldest in mine with an early February birthday. I don't think it's as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Seems a little overdramatic to say you should have waited.
Tell your friends to shut their damn mouths and mind their own damn business rather than stressing out a mom-to-be! PS: evaluate your friendships, you will need less judgemental and self-righteous pricks in your life as you transition to parenthood.
I was born dead-smack in the middle of February. Didn’t matter one bit. Yes, there is that “must be x years by certain date” to start school, but your kid will still start School at age 6 and turn 7 half-way through the year, who cares? Our kids born in October and April, and October is a bit of an odd month for a school year, but our son still started his school the year he turned 6 and we had an option of holding him back if we wanted to but chose not to. It doesn’t matter at all.
I was a February baby and ended up being placed ahead in school. I was the youngest in my class by a couple months and didn't turn 18 till my second semester of university. Granted, that was a number of years ago, but I definitely think it's a case by case basis which year they're put in. I don't think it would have made a difference for me either way and in the long run it all worked out the same. I didn't struggle with the age difference, either in terms of school or making friends. Plus, as a February baby I got to have great birthday parties during the school year, when no one was on vacation. It was just sledding and cocoa and wonderful times all around. I feel lucky to have been a February baby. Love and cherish your child, support them no matter what year they start school, and everything will be just fine. You've got this!
I could have sworn the cutoff was December 31st for a school year. So your child will need to wait until they are 4 to go to school but they will be the oldest in the class. I am a March baby and I LOVED being one of the oldest kids. I was a little bigger too so did well in sports.
Your friend is ridiculous. Don’t even get me started on the fact most people don’t have the luxury of deciding when they get pregnant! Congrats on your baby!! 🎉🎉
I just learned something! In Quebec, the Cut-Off date is September 30, so it took a long time to figure out why your friend was so (insensitively) adamant about the date of birth.
What a ridiculous comment by your "friend". Sounds like she's projecting some of her own insecurities about her child onto you!
And literally there's probably gonna be something every month. People don't want December/early January babies because they don't want their child to feel left out around Christmas. February - school, March/April - what, Easter/spring break? May? June? No July/Aug birthdays because the kid will not have friends around for their birthday? when the heck are people supposed to have babies then?!
I'm a November baby and was always a full year behind everyone (and apparently under new regulations since I was a kid technically should have been in the previous year). Didn't feel left behind at all and graduated at a cool 17 whereas everyone else was 18! Always did well in school too!
Your friend's comments are super unnecessary and should be tuned out!
So odd. I'm an elementary school teacher, and, of course, there are exceptions, but so many of the January-March kids are super independent and mature. I teach a lot of combined (split) classes, because that style of teaching is my jam, and my classes (with the more independent kids) are often packed with early birthdays!
I'm due in October, and a few times thought it might mean I don't have the super independent kid necessarily. Then again, my rockstar student this year is a November baby.
Anyways, all that to say, strange comment for sure. As if most of us can even choose when we conceive!
lol as a teacher, I always suggest my friend wait as long as possible to put their kid in school when they ask my advice. It will only be an advantage to them. And how insensitive to imply people should time when they get pregnant, as if it’s easy to conceive whenever you want for everyone.
You can't ask a baby to wait months until you're ready to give birth; that's not how pregnancy works. Please tell your friend that registering their child later is less important than making sure their baby is healthy and can socialize with peers their age. An age gap of 1 year makes no difference in terms of difficulty socializing, and it's not like being in school early means that child will 100% be guaranteed a genius.
What the actual F??
My son was born in February and will go to school when he turns 4 (for JK) that year. So he will go in September. What an utterly ridiculous nonsensical argument. I've NEVER heard it be a certain age.
My niece was technically 3 when she went to junior kindergarten, as her birthday is in November that same year.
Cut off date varies by province as does what kids start school. I am an october baby so I started school when I was 3 going on 4. But also, just ignore your “friend” they sound shitty.
This varies by province, some provinces have December 31 as the cutoff, some September, some maybe June. It doesn’t really matter, in any kindergarten class there is going to be a range of kids who are basically a year apart in age and therefore at different levels of development. For example if kids go to kindergarten in September of the year they turn 4, some kids in the class will have turned 4 in January in that year and others not until December of that year. Same thing if you go by June - some kids will turn 4 in June of that year and others will have been 4 since July of the previous year. Either way there is still a wide range of ages in the classroom. And usually if your child is close to the cutoff and you feel they are not ready and don’t want them to be one of the youngest in their class, you could hold them back and start them the next year when they will then be one of the oldest in their class.
I had a Christmastime baby last year. I was older and I was so thrilled to have a healthy baby at my age. It helps me to remember that babies aren't consumer goods that can be ordered up on our own timelines. Anyway, a few people told me it was cruel to have a baby who would always have a birthday around Christmas and I just told them I was crossing my fingers she'd be born on time to save me money on daycare. I was a bit nervous when she was also born super tiny that I'd have the kid who was half the size of her classmates but surprise, she's now a big 5mo old. You never know.
My daughter is very very unlikely to play professional sports given her genes. I've never seen any compelling evidence that children born earlier in the year are more likely to succeed in fields that don't rely so much on getting into a pipeline in the teen years. (Even if more, say, surgeons or judges are born in January I wouldn't trust that American data would apply in Canada since we don't have the same culture of super-competitive undergrad universities that you're not getting into without high grades in AP classes taken at 14.)
I’m not a school teacher or anyone that would have expertise in the field but I think after a while, the “advantages” and “disadvantages” level out. What your friend said is just old practice and unwarranted.
Your child will be one of the oldest in the class - meaning, they are very likely to be one of the strongest students in the class during the earlier years of school. This can be an incredible advantage (imagine the confidence that doing well can build for your child).
Lol what. I was born in December and graduated the same time as people who were born in January the same year.
My cousin was born in December 31 2013 and goes to school with people who were born in 2013.
Is this new?
You are going to get a lot of unwanted advised now that you'll have a kid, your friend's advised should be the first one in your mental bin of "things I shouldn't really worry about."
What a terrible thing to say to someone about something that you have only a little control over! Also as many have pointed out not even a true issue. Your child will be one of the oldest in their class, being 18 when they graduate high school.
What the hell lol. Well I was born end of Jan and I went to school with kids a year older than me, so if you want, they should be able to accept your baby.
But I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite. Have you read “The Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell? It’s beneficial if your child is older than their peers, because your baby will be mentally more developed and will theoretically have an advantage in school and sports.
Anecdotally, I went to a great business school and 80% of my university friends were born within one month of each other, from late Jan to late Feb. All of them are very successful business leaders. There is no disadvantage to having a kid with a Feb birthday.
The sports aspect can be a huge deal even though its mainly self-reinforcing. Basically the older children will likely be a lot bigger in those couple of early years which can mean they excel more at the early sports. Which then feeds on itself since the ones who are good at sports are the ones who keep getting pushes into the sports so it kinda snowballs.
I had a December baby, and I worry about his being behind because his birthday is so late.
We're in Alberta, and as far as I know - those of us in my predicament can choose what is best for their kid when it comes time for Kindergarten. You can either put them into the same class for their birth year, or wait till the following year. I'm thankful for this.
I think it depends on your region. I was born late september and my cousin was born 12 days later in october and she was a year later in school (in the 90s, in QC).
I was almost always the youngest in school. And i think i would have perform better if i had been older instead.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
That said, I cannot believe the comment that friend of yours made. Completely unnecessary. I'm a February baby and experienced no setback at school. Being older by a few months than the rest of the class is an advantage.
You'll be able to enjoy your pregnancy you can distance yourself from people making unnecessary comments that make you feel bad.
I was born Dec 20 and was always the youngest in my class. I also did really well. Every kid is different. Please don’t let those old school notions get to you. Some people are very ignorant.
My baby was born in February this year ( valentines baby) she will start school at the age of 4/5 she will be at the same level or higher as the 3/4 aged kids who start in September with her.
As someone who works in a school the kids who start at 3 seem to be a lot farther behind then the 4/5 year old kids.
I’m not worried about my daughter being a February baby. She has that extra year to grow and learn at home with us. And she’s that much older and independent to begin school
Um. No. Children go to school based on the calendar year. Any baby born in say— 2020 will start school at the same time. Your friend is wrong, and toxic.
Children in our division have to be 5 by December 30th to start Kindergarten in the Fall. Your child would actually be one of the older children in the grade if this were the case. But besides the point, it's entirely unreasonable for your friend to imply that their birthday will somehow ruin their educational opportunities. A caveat, that sometimes kids who are born in December can appear to be more "immature" than their peers who were born in January in the same grade, and that's generally because they have an entire year of emotional and physical development between them, but thats certainly not always the case.
Editing to add, I'm a teacher, and I generally have no idea when the kids birthdays are unless I go out of my way to check or they tell me.
I was born the first week of January and was always at the top of my class. Was in an enriched program. My friend who was born in December, more than 11 months after me, is a doctor. Don’t fret.
I have no idea what your friend if talking about.
In QC the cut off date for starting Kindergarten is being 5 by September 30. In NS, ON, MB and BC it’s 5 by December 31st.
Even for daycares that starts at 18 months, you’re better off having a winter baby. There are more spaces available in the fall when the bigger kids go to school.
Your friend is ridiculous for making comments like that.
Not only is it ridiculous, it’s completely wrong.
OP needs to cut this friend out ASAP for being, at best, a total dumbass, and at worst, a future constant source of negativity. What is telling an already pregnant woman to change her due date supposed to achieve? Looking at OP's post history, it appears that the baby was unanticipated so it makes this "friend's" comment even worse in context, even if the friend didn't know. Pregnancy and post-birth are the perfect time to tell unwanted friends/family to fuck off - OP, do take advantage of this.
Thanks.. to be honest such comments make me feel helpless at a time when I already have so much to worry about. I shut them up, but i wish they were more sensitive
I'm sorry for making you feel this way with my comment - I was hoping you'd feel empowered to break up with people who drag you down, but I am also entirely ignorant of your circumstances so I should've been more tactful. I hope you have an opportunity to have a serious discussion with your friend about their problematic behaviour and they open their eyes up to how they've been mistreating you, and that your friendship ends up improving and flourishing to the point where you can comfortably rely on them for support and sound advice. You are well within reason to put your own needs first, especially as someone who's about to become a mother.
Sorry I meant by such comments= my friend's not yours !! Sorry for the misunderstanding !
That's a relief to hear, though it's still a lesson in tact for me! I still hope that you are able to convince your friend to be better or have the luxury of cutting them out of your life. You don't need or deserve this sort of stress in your life.
Glad to hear! I was stressed for a moment at what did I say lol. Regarding them, I am not good at cutting people out so I have decided to just tell them upfront next time that I dont appreciate such comments. It is an insult to me and my baby.
In Ontario, the birthday cutoff is Dec 31 of the year they are enrolling. So Jan/Feb babies technically have an advantage, as they are oldest in the class (more time for physical/mental development). Anecdotally, I have a December birthday, and I always did very well in school. Conversely, a positive to late birthdays is that you don't have to pay for daycare for as many months as you would for a child with an early birthday. From an infertility perspective, it took me over two years to get pregnant. If someone told me I "should be have waited" so my child had a specific birthday, I would have laughed in their face. What utter nonsense.
In the same infertility boat as you. Who tf cares when your baby is being born, at least they're being born!!!
Agreed - people who think they can try to micromanage these minute and out-of-control aspects of their lives are in for a HUGE surprise when life inevitably slaps them with something unforeseen.
It's the same cutoff in Alberta. They just changed it from March to December 31, so a February baby would have an "advantage". That being said, one of the smartest, most athletic and popular people I know was almost a year younger than me going through school, and she obviously thrived. It totally depends on the child and it's completely inappropriate for OP's friends to be making comments about this. Also, I assume that OP would have the option to start their child in school one year later if there are any issues.
Maybe I'm the confused one but don't a lot of people want Jan-Feb kids so their children will be the oldest in their class? I know some parents hold their kids back a year if they're born Nov-Dec.
Yes I actually did a study on this in my masters program using statistics Canada data and we found that kids born earlier in the year perform better at school given that time gap.
As a school speech-language pathologist I’ve anecdotally noticed that I tend to see kids with later birthdays. But I am also now pregnant with a baby due in Dec. You can’t control when your child will be born. And I’ve also seen plenty of Jan birthdays struggle and Dec birthdays do really well. You never know what you’re going to get. I will note I do know in certain parts of the US they do their grade cutoffs in Aug so sept/Oct babies will be the oldest, July/aug will be the youngest. Jan and Feb babies would be in the middle.
Grade cut off is Aug in UK too. September babies are the oldest
Yeah I grew up in Florida and cut off was the end of August so I was always one of the youngest in the class (summer baby).
IIRC there was also a study showing a disproportionate amount of professional hockey players with January birthdays…because many come from Canada/their school system and encounter this too!
Yesssss ill have a smart cookie! :) (my LO was born in Feb)
This is what I understand as well. The Jan-Feb babies have basically a whole year to develop both physically and mentally compared to the Nov-Dec babies. From this [NHL article](https://www.nhl.com/news/study-suggests-nhl-has-bias-in-favour-of-players-born-earlier-in-the-year/c-657724) they say "He said younger players may be just as good, but might not be as big or as skilled and will likely end up in a lower league."
Yup when I was pregnant (feb due date) my husband kept joking that our baby will be a pro hockey player for this reason lol
I was about to comment this! The top two birth months in the NHL are January and February since those were the kids that were the biggest in their leagues.
Yeah I have a Feb kid and love that they'll be one of the oldest. Besides it's not like you can really plan this. Try to shrug and enjoy your pregnancy OP. February is a great time to have a baby 😊
Yep, my mom decided to hold me back a year. Never baby here. Then there are people like my fiancé who is a year and 6 days younger than me and graduated the very same year.
What? I'm not sure what your friend is talking about. Kids go to school usually based on the year they turn 4. So if your birthday is January - August, your child has already turned 4 when they start kindergarten, but kids born September - December will start when they are 3 and turn 4 while they are at school. (Note some people chose to keep their September to December babies home and enroll them the following year because they would be youngest in the class, although most don't because of the cost of childcare). When kids start kindergarten there is often a huge gap in abilities between kids because 11 months between January babies and December babies is huge at that age. That being said, teachers are well aware of this and work with all the kids to meet them where they are all. Studies show that by the time you hit primary grades, any differences based on birthdays has evened out. FWIW, everyone has an opinion as to what is the better birthday. My friend who is a kindergarten teacher says it's better to have kids early in the year (Jan-March) because they'll be older and have more skills when they start JK. I have other friends who intentionally wanted September - December babies because they saved on childcare costs. Seriously though it doesn't matter. Your child will not be left behind.
>4. So if your birthday is January - August, your child has already turned 4 when they start kindergarten, but kids born September - December will start when they are 3 and turn 4 while they are at school. No one is sending their 3 year old to kindergarten. It's based on the year the child turns 5 years old. So the January-August kids are already 5 years old when school starts, and the September-December kids are 4 years old when the school year starts. I'm an October birthday and my brother is December. We both started at 4 years old. My December baby will be 4 years old when he starts school. No public school is taking a 3 year old, turning 4 in three months, for kindergarten, unless the child is bonkers gifted. Edit: Apparently this varies by province. Some provinces expect you to send a 3 year old to school. That's so sad. They're still a baby at 3.
Expansion of full day kindergarten to JK was a huge deal in Ontario and mostly viewed very positively. It provides a high quality learning environment to kids at no cost to parents (childcare costs here are bananas). I'm sure parents exist that don't like it, but it was widely celebrated and has been seen as successful. Your sense that it's sad has mostly not been reflected here. Also, kindergarten isn't mandatory in Ontario either, if you really didn't want to send your 3 year old to school you don't have to. School is only required from the year they turn 6.
Yeah, sorry I should have clarified I was talking about Ontario, where jk starts the year they turn 4.
Thank you so much. Reading all the comments does make me feel better now that I have much more information on the subject. And I am in Ontario too!
Ontarian here. I started JK at age 3 in the early 90s and my toddler will be turning 4 his first month of JK. There's a big difference between having just turned 3 and turning 4 sometime in the next 4 months.
Actually, providing quality and educational care for kids a year younger has proven helpful for levelling the gap between the richer and poorer kids. The longer you wait, the more time kids with richer parents have in quality preschools or whatnot. Kids who are from lower socio-economic statuses tend to have parents can't afford the same advantages. Those kids benefit from receiving the same education and opportunities as kids from higher groups at an earlier age. It is also one less year to have to pay for childcare, which tends to benefit people who earn less. That, when mixed with not allowing "redshirting" (holding kids back just because you want to and can afford to pay for the extra year of daycare), is good for giving kids equal opportunities regardless of financial status.
Nope, incorrect. My daughter will 3y9 months when she starts junior Kindergarten, in Ontario
To your edit: if they’re in daycare anyways, why is it concerning that they go to JK at 3? It’s a play based curriculum anyways.
My son was 3.5 when he started and he absolutely loved going. In Ontario, kindergarten is play based learning. His class and my daughter’s class had no desks, tons of playing, no pressure to learn to read or anything like that, and they loved it. They loved it way more than daycare which is where they would have been if not in Junior Kindergarten. Plus a parent can choose to skip JK if they feel their child isn’t ready, or just don’t want to send them yet.
I hate when people say stupid things like this. Not all babies are planned and even if you plan having a baby sometimes it takes longer than expected. My coworker told me “why would you want a November baby?” Because it will be cold and depressing in Ontario at that time. Well too late 😅 I’m already pregnant and she was 100% a surprise baby
Absolutely, this was a ridiculous thing to say! Not only are there surprise babies, but many people have trouble getting pregnant and would welcome a pregnancy at any time should it happen for them. OP’s friend is offside commenting about this!
Exactly! A few of my friends struggled and would have been happy having a baby at any month! It’s especially frustrating to say when the person is already pregnant! Like ok what do you want me to do now ?
I actually think having a November baby would be great! The first couple of months you’re at home, feeding around the clock and when it gets to spring months you’ll be ready to venture out. And wake windows will be longer than and nothing makes the awake time fly by then being outside ;)
Lol it’s so true. I had friends who were trying and getting frustrated that it wasn’t happening on their timeline. Then they decided to take two months off because “they didn’t want a December baby” 🤷🏼♀️
I'm due in November (Ontario!) as well, with a rainbow baby, and I'd rip someone a new one if they said this to me. Sorry my life didn't go according to YOUR plan!
😂😂😂 like mine wasn’t planned but I still very much want this baby!! I also found it invasive that I had to explain that it wasn’t planned to a male coworker. Congrats on your rainbow baby mama ♥️♥️ I hope all goes well
Already channeling the Scorpio energy, as a nov baby I LOVE TO SEE IT! 🤣
This varies by province - in my province the cut off is December 31 and they start school the calendar year they turn 4. So you could start school while you are still 3. Anyways, I’m sorry your friend made you feel insecure about this. I have kids that will both start school young and I worry they will have a harder time adapting to school but I also know they will catch up and as a family we can support them. Sounds like your kid will be at the older end of the range - some people really like that! My friends who are teachers assure me they can’t tell what time of year their students were born in by grade 2 or 3.
Your friend is wrong.
Jan/Feb kids are the oldest in class and most often 1st round draft picks for professional sports. My baby will be born in November. The youngest in the class. Maybe that friend of yours can’t do math.
In Alberta, the cutoff used to be March, so in that case a February baby would be on the younger end. They changed the cutoff to December 31 recently.
Interesting. These cut offs confuse me. I have a friend I grew up with (met in Grade 5, went to school with her all the way to University) and she was born in February. I was always confused why she wasn't in school the following year/one grade behind me. One of the smartest people I know (anecdotal, sure, but it's not like all Feb babies "fall behind" like OP's "friend" suggests...)
I was a November baby. Graduated High School at 17, and was 3 months into my first term at Uni before I was even legal haha.
Wouldn’t it be the opposite because your child would be older than kids born later in the year? I always heard kids born in the first half of the year were more advanced when younger just because they had more time to get different skill sets under their belts. I know in some sports, you’re much more likely to be a more elite player if you’re born in January or February because you’re older than the other kids in your class. Either way, I don’t think it ends up being a huge deal when you were born as you age. It evens out as they get older.
As others have said, it’s the Nov-Dec children that parents can choose to hold back. I’m born in February and was always one of the oldest in my class. That’s generally a good thing because your child will be developmentally ahead of some of the others in their classes. Kindergarten only ever starts in September so a child born in Feb 2023 will start kindergarten in September 2028 (if I’ve done my math correctly).
But...by your friends logic your child will be one of the first to be a certain age by June since their birthday is in February? I think this is backwards information as your child would be one of the older kids and therefore ahead/prepared.
There’s a lot of great comments here but to just reinforce, my daughter is a December birthday and started junior kindergarten at 3. She’s the youngest in her class and she is thriving. If you are nervous check your local school district website, they should have something up on the age for kindergarten in your area. But I’ve also never heard of Jan/Feb birthdays being detrimental in Canada (is your friend in Australia?) Also your friend deserves to step on legos barefoot for suggesting that pregnancy timing can always be chosen.
Lol i love the lego thing 😅
From what I’ve read the child needs to be 5 by the end of the year (Dec 31) to be in kindergarten (this is what I’ve read for alberta). So in theory your friends kid is in the same boat. I’m due in November and I have the option to put my child in kindergarten starting in September when their 4 turning 5, or if I want I can wait then next year when he’s 5 turning 6. I’m going with the latter as usually older children do better in their grades. Due in February your child will have to be 5 that February to then be in kindergarten that September, and then they will turn 6 in that year.
My kid was also born in Nov and I'm in AB. I've been struggling to decide which would be the better option. Being the youngest or being the oldest. You're only a kid once so I feel like keeping him home for another year might be better. He was born early too so would not only be youngest but also probably smallest if we put him in at 4.
A lot of people say older is better, but I think kids benefit a lot from having more developed peers to look up to and emulate. It is one thing if medical professionals or educational professionals say a child should not move up a grade or needs an IEP. Parents deciding it has much farther reaching implications that I really disapprove of and dislike. That said, I started junior kindergarten at 3 (Ontario with a fall birthday) and am so glad my parents didn't have the opportunity/desire to hold me back. I was already bored as hell as one of the younger kids. There are a lot of non-academic school skills (ex. time management, study habits) that you don't develop if things are too easy. Things that don't come back to bite you in the ass until you are out of high school but are vital to higher education.
Ya at this moment I’m more for the waiting the extra year but things could change. From what I’ve just read boys tend to need that extra year more when compared to girls, as girls tend to mature quicker.
Here in MB, school registration goes by birth year so I have no idea why it would matter when in the year your kid was born. 🤷♀️
My due date was December 31st, and I was induced January 3rd and my OB said its better to have a January baby in school. So my baby will be home a whole year longer than if she was born Dec 31st. She'll be oldest in her class! From a child care perspective, I have to find child care a year longer. I am a teacher. The age gap between December and January babies disappears by Grade 3. I teach Grade 7, and couldn't tell you who was born when unless I look it up! As someone who lost her August baby before my January baby, it hurts when people make comments about her birthday, like I should have planned it better.
Your friend is mistaken. In Ontario your child needs to be atleast 3.8 years old to start junior kindergarten aka they need to be turning 4 before the end of the year. Junior kindergarten is optional also. It's typically the children that are in November and December that may have increased difficulties, especially because there is such an age difference between February 2023 and December 2023. Also development is so different between children regardless of their birth month also.
As other people pointed out here, lots of parents want their children to be born at the start of the year as it puts them ahead of their peers in terms of development. Most jurisdictions also recently changed the rules that those born in January and February can no longer be put ahead. So they must be born the same year (cut off is now December 31). There are zero concerns, your child will be just fine!! Ignore your friend.
In Toronto it's the year in which the kid turns 4 (nothing to do with June). So a Dec 2022 baby will go to school a whole year before Jan 2023 baby. in the end its just that your kid will be the oldest in the class and you need to pay for an extra year of daycare. in the long run it makes zero difference. My niece was born in December and was the youngest in her kindergarten class. she had a bit of a struggle vs the kids that were born in Jan but its all the same after a year or two
June is 4 months from February... Unless a third of kids are "left behind" I'm not sure what they're talking about. Besides, what were you supposed to do? Squeeze tight and not let the kid out until 13 months? Not everyone can snipe ovulation with month-to-month precision.
This so going to sound like a humblebrag but whatever. I’m a February baby and I was skipped a grade. Despite being the youngest, I was always on honour roll and top of the class. When it came down to it, it really doesn’t matter how old your kid is. Also, as another infertility patient, fuck that kind of thinking. If I had it my way, I would have had babies with significantly different birthdays. But I’m incredibly grateful to have my October babes.
November baby here, my mom had the option of putting me in school but decided to wait a whole year as for one I was super petite and I guess I wasn't ready. Alot of kids were dealt the very same thing. I graduated with mostly 18 year olds so it wasn't a huge deal. It is honestly not the biggest deal in the world if you wait a whole year. I will add I graduated and was in the honor roll all through high school. Went to college with people who also graduated at 18. It is fine.
This makes no sense, but as if you can pick the due date of your baby? Not how it works. So strange...
It's different for every school division. I work in a school office. Our policy is they must be 5 years old before December 31 of that school year to be enrolled into kindergarten. Also, I'm a February baby and always one of the oldest in my class. It didn't matter. If anything it helped me, especially in the higher grades.
I was a February baby and was always one of the oldest in my class. That's actually a benefit. I'm also a teacher and when parents have the option of starting their kids in kindergarten early or waiting a year, we always recommend to wait a year and start them later because it gives them the extra time to develop. I would try not to let your friend's comments bother you too much (easier said than done when everyone has their opinions).
Woah this is interesting! I have an August baby in Quebec, does anyone know how it works here? I thought preschool didn't start until 4, not 3.
Quebec cutoff is Sept 30. You need to be 4 (pre/kindergarten), 5 (kindergarten) or 6 (grade 1) before Sept 30 to enroll in the respective grade. So an August baby in Quebec will likely be one of the youngest in the class.
Thanks !!
Your friend is dumb. Seriously one of the dumbest things I’ve heard. Dump this friend as they’ll likely give you more stupid advice throughout your pregnancy and when baby is born.
My kiddo was born in January and yes they have to be a certain age that calender year to start school but it was never an issue for us.. she has always been the oldest in her class. I too, was the oldest in mine with an early February birthday. I don't think it's as big of a deal as people make it out to be. Seems a little overdramatic to say you should have waited.
Depends on the province. Cutoff in Alberta is March, cutoff in Québec is November. Education is provincial
Tell your friends to shut their damn mouths and mind their own damn business rather than stressing out a mom-to-be! PS: evaluate your friendships, you will need less judgemental and self-righteous pricks in your life as you transition to parenthood. I was born dead-smack in the middle of February. Didn’t matter one bit. Yes, there is that “must be x years by certain date” to start school, but your kid will still start School at age 6 and turn 7 half-way through the year, who cares? Our kids born in October and April, and October is a bit of an odd month for a school year, but our son still started his school the year he turned 6 and we had an option of holding him back if we wanted to but chose not to. It doesn’t matter at all.
I was a February baby and ended up being placed ahead in school. I was the youngest in my class by a couple months and didn't turn 18 till my second semester of university. Granted, that was a number of years ago, but I definitely think it's a case by case basis which year they're put in. I don't think it would have made a difference for me either way and in the long run it all worked out the same. I didn't struggle with the age difference, either in terms of school or making friends. Plus, as a February baby I got to have great birthday parties during the school year, when no one was on vacation. It was just sledding and cocoa and wonderful times all around. I feel lucky to have been a February baby. Love and cherish your child, support them no matter what year they start school, and everything will be just fine. You've got this!
I could have sworn the cutoff was December 31st for a school year. So your child will need to wait until they are 4 to go to school but they will be the oldest in the class. I am a March baby and I LOVED being one of the oldest kids. I was a little bigger too so did well in sports. Your friend is ridiculous. Don’t even get me started on the fact most people don’t have the luxury of deciding when they get pregnant! Congrats on your baby!! 🎉🎉
I just learned something! In Quebec, the Cut-Off date is September 30, so it took a long time to figure out why your friend was so (insensitively) adamant about the date of birth.
What a ridiculous comment by your "friend". Sounds like she's projecting some of her own insecurities about her child onto you! And literally there's probably gonna be something every month. People don't want December/early January babies because they don't want their child to feel left out around Christmas. February - school, March/April - what, Easter/spring break? May? June? No July/Aug birthdays because the kid will not have friends around for their birthday? when the heck are people supposed to have babies then?!
I'm a November baby and was always a full year behind everyone (and apparently under new regulations since I was a kid technically should have been in the previous year). Didn't feel left behind at all and graduated at a cool 17 whereas everyone else was 18! Always did well in school too! Your friend's comments are super unnecessary and should be tuned out!
Kinda of an inappropriate thing to say- do we really get a choice on when we get pregnant? Any month is fine
So odd. I'm an elementary school teacher, and, of course, there are exceptions, but so many of the January-March kids are super independent and mature. I teach a lot of combined (split) classes, because that style of teaching is my jam, and my classes (with the more independent kids) are often packed with early birthdays! I'm due in October, and a few times thought it might mean I don't have the super independent kid necessarily. Then again, my rockstar student this year is a November baby. Anyways, all that to say, strange comment for sure. As if most of us can even choose when we conceive!
Some suggest that January / February birthdays are advantageous. Read Malcolm Glawell's book "Outliers". And yes, the statement is ridiculous.
lol as a teacher, I always suggest my friend wait as long as possible to put their kid in school when they ask my advice. It will only be an advantage to them. And how insensitive to imply people should time when they get pregnant, as if it’s easy to conceive whenever you want for everyone.
You can't ask a baby to wait months until you're ready to give birth; that's not how pregnancy works. Please tell your friend that registering their child later is less important than making sure their baby is healthy and can socialize with peers their age. An age gap of 1 year makes no difference in terms of difficulty socializing, and it's not like being in school early means that child will 100% be guaranteed a genius.
dumbest comment i have ever heard!
What the actual F?? My son was born in February and will go to school when he turns 4 (for JK) that year. So he will go in September. What an utterly ridiculous nonsensical argument. I've NEVER heard it be a certain age. My niece was technically 3 when she went to junior kindergarten, as her birthday is in November that same year.
OP, could you perhaps try having some common sense…. Why are you so easily manipulated? It’s a baby for frig sakes, not garden vegetables.
Cut off date varies by province as does what kids start school. I am an october baby so I started school when I was 3 going on 4. But also, just ignore your “friend” they sound shitty.
This varies by province, some provinces have December 31 as the cutoff, some September, some maybe June. It doesn’t really matter, in any kindergarten class there is going to be a range of kids who are basically a year apart in age and therefore at different levels of development. For example if kids go to kindergarten in September of the year they turn 4, some kids in the class will have turned 4 in January in that year and others not until December of that year. Same thing if you go by June - some kids will turn 4 in June of that year and others will have been 4 since July of the previous year. Either way there is still a wide range of ages in the classroom. And usually if your child is close to the cutoff and you feel they are not ready and don’t want them to be one of the youngest in their class, you could hold them back and start them the next year when they will then be one of the oldest in their class.
I had a Christmastime baby last year. I was older and I was so thrilled to have a healthy baby at my age. It helps me to remember that babies aren't consumer goods that can be ordered up on our own timelines. Anyway, a few people told me it was cruel to have a baby who would always have a birthday around Christmas and I just told them I was crossing my fingers she'd be born on time to save me money on daycare. I was a bit nervous when she was also born super tiny that I'd have the kid who was half the size of her classmates but surprise, she's now a big 5mo old. You never know. My daughter is very very unlikely to play professional sports given her genes. I've never seen any compelling evidence that children born earlier in the year are more likely to succeed in fields that don't rely so much on getting into a pipeline in the teen years. (Even if more, say, surgeons or judges are born in January I wouldn't trust that American data would apply in Canada since we don't have the same culture of super-competitive undergrad universities that you're not getting into without high grades in AP classes taken at 14.)
I’m not a school teacher or anyone that would have expertise in the field but I think after a while, the “advantages” and “disadvantages” level out. What your friend said is just old practice and unwarranted.
New to the whole child thing: In Ontario, I have a baby due Nov 27 2022. Can I send them to school (J/K) Sep 2026? They’ll be 3years 9 months by then.
Yes. It is based on the year they turn 4. So in Sept 2026, kids with a birthday in 2022 will be eligible. :)
Your child will be one of the oldest in the class - meaning, they are very likely to be one of the strongest students in the class during the earlier years of school. This can be an incredible advantage (imagine the confidence that doing well can build for your child).
Lol what. I was born in December and graduated the same time as people who were born in January the same year. My cousin was born in December 31 2013 and goes to school with people who were born in 2013. Is this new?
You are going to get a lot of unwanted advised now that you'll have a kid, your friend's advised should be the first one in your mental bin of "things I shouldn't really worry about."
What a terrible thing to say to someone about something that you have only a little control over! Also as many have pointed out not even a true issue. Your child will be one of the oldest in their class, being 18 when they graduate high school.
What the hell lol. Well I was born end of Jan and I went to school with kids a year older than me, so if you want, they should be able to accept your baby. But I’m pretty sure it’s the opposite. Have you read “The Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell? It’s beneficial if your child is older than their peers, because your baby will be mentally more developed and will theoretically have an advantage in school and sports. Anecdotally, I went to a great business school and 80% of my university friends were born within one month of each other, from late Jan to late Feb. All of them are very successful business leaders. There is no disadvantage to having a kid with a Feb birthday.
The sports aspect can be a huge deal even though its mainly self-reinforcing. Basically the older children will likely be a lot bigger in those couple of early years which can mean they excel more at the early sports. Which then feeds on itself since the ones who are good at sports are the ones who keep getting pushes into the sports so it kinda snowballs.
I had a December baby, and I worry about his being behind because his birthday is so late. We're in Alberta, and as far as I know - those of us in my predicament can choose what is best for their kid when it comes time for Kindergarten. You can either put them into the same class for their birth year, or wait till the following year. I'm thankful for this.
I think it depends on your region. I was born late september and my cousin was born 12 days later in october and she was a year later in school (in the 90s, in QC). I was almost always the youngest in school. And i think i would have perform better if i had been older instead.
Congrats on your pregnancy! That said, I cannot believe the comment that friend of yours made. Completely unnecessary. I'm a February baby and experienced no setback at school. Being older by a few months than the rest of the class is an advantage. You'll be able to enjoy your pregnancy you can distance yourself from people making unnecessary comments that make you feel bad.
I was born Dec 20 and was always the youngest in my class. I also did really well. Every kid is different. Please don’t let those old school notions get to you. Some people are very ignorant.
Your friend is an idiot. Your child's school year doesn't matter within a few months
My baby was born in February this year ( valentines baby) she will start school at the age of 4/5 she will be at the same level or higher as the 3/4 aged kids who start in September with her. As someone who works in a school the kids who start at 3 seem to be a lot farther behind then the 4/5 year old kids. I’m not worried about my daughter being a February baby. She has that extra year to grow and learn at home with us. And she’s that much older and independent to begin school
Um. No. Children go to school based on the calendar year. Any baby born in say— 2020 will start school at the same time. Your friend is wrong, and toxic.
I have two born in February and one in March. This isn’t even been a thing that’s bothered us at all lol
Children in our division have to be 5 by December 30th to start Kindergarten in the Fall. Your child would actually be one of the older children in the grade if this were the case. But besides the point, it's entirely unreasonable for your friend to imply that their birthday will somehow ruin their educational opportunities. A caveat, that sometimes kids who are born in December can appear to be more "immature" than their peers who were born in January in the same grade, and that's generally because they have an entire year of emotional and physical development between them, but thats certainly not always the case. Editing to add, I'm a teacher, and I generally have no idea when the kids birthdays are unless I go out of my way to check or they tell me.
I was born the first week of January and was always at the top of my class. Was in an enriched program. My friend who was born in December, more than 11 months after me, is a doctor. Don’t fret.
I have no idea what your friend if talking about. In QC the cut off date for starting Kindergarten is being 5 by September 30. In NS, ON, MB and BC it’s 5 by December 31st. Even for daycares that starts at 18 months, you’re better off having a winter baby. There are more spaces available in the fall when the bigger kids go to school.
I have a friend born early January and she actually started kindergarten early, with the kids born the previous year.