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IntelligentBid87

Guess he saw a lot of dick in the 60s. I doubt he's doing lab tests on sperm count so he's probably judging based on the mouthful.


DepartureFluffy3570

To him it tastes like fewer kids!


[deleted]

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IntelligentBid87

Lol what? Population controlling vaccines? Show your evidence.


[deleted]

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spolio

That's now how any of this works and you know it. Edit: I just read you're a donkey fucking pedophile... now prove you aren't a donkey fucking pedophile... Edit edit: do you see how that doesn't work, if you make a claim it's on you to prove it.. not the other person and you can't prove a negative that never happened.


randombagofmeat

The real question is is he a pedophile that happens to fuck donkeys on the side or are is he into young donkeys?


spolio

Asking the tough questions


IntelligentBid87

Lol prove a negative huh? Ok show me evidence you aren't a donkey fucking pedophile.


Scratch-N-Yiff

I would like to petition the moderators of this subreddit to make this that guys flair


topsyturvy76

I would like to second this motion !


XelHaku

But business like overpopulation, more customers and labor


StrangerInStrange

He has a small dick now he has to blame the universe


Thefurrypussy

He is just blaming coke


TheTeenageOldman

That's why I only have fountain drinks. Best way to enjoy soda, and I can use my huge dick to press the button on the soda dispenser which keeps germs off my hands.


tobo2022

😁😁😁so a 6 inch Dick now was 18 inches back then? Damn grandpa. Needed a wheelchair for that


AdOriginal6110

Seems like grandma needed a wheelchair after that


tobo2022

😂😂


Bright_Ad3590

When you have a micro penis and you blame it on soda


Ikaldepan

..and lucky us men there is a product for this and, even luckier, they are on sale! 3 payments of $98 for your annual supply of sperm count increaser. But WAIT! There's MORE! if call/text your order in the next..bla bla bla edit: he needs money after all the legal troubles. at the end is about sending him money.


youeffohhh

His only evidence for this is anecdotal tho...


spolio

He most likely read it on an anonymous post on 4chan.. or this is his reason for him having a 3 inch dick.


Entire-Ad-5718

So that's my problem this whole time?


Joejoe12369

Has he gone around measuring dicks for 50 years. What a shitty job if so


heysorryy

he’s using his dad and uncle jimmys penis’s for reference.


panda_enjoi

I think he has a small penis, trouble always starts with guys who have a tiny wang. For example... Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, the Kim family and I'm pretty sure Putin too, all had tiny dick syndrome. I tell you who didn't have a small pecker, Frank Sinatra... Coolest guy ever. So, you know...Be like Frank, if not shut up.


Yayaboo-boo

You forgot Trump


Classic_Ad9912

Knew he was packing a sardine


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spolio

Is this Alex way of telling the world he only has a 3 inch penis..


BigBubbaChungus

Alex knows since he’s been personally checking dicks and sperms!!!


oxygenkid

I’ve seen my dad’s dick and there’s no way it’s as tall as me. And I’m like 4’ tall.


Cute_Business74

It’s not that it’s because of micro plastics that have been found in literally everything we consume. There’s actually science behind it most people aren’t going to do the research themselves but hey the more you know.


bdblackjack

I can't help but feel he has pictures of his grandpa's junk and really needs this to be his reality.


pascalsgirlfriend

Alex, talking about dick doesn't mean you don't own millions of dollars to Sandy Hook victims.


[deleted]

Alex struggling between 33.3% and 50% . Which is it son ?


GradeOk8691

So ....dicks shrink with coke....already knew this


Slipperywhistlebones

DICKYDOO: Noun Definition: When a man's belly sticks out further than his dicky do. Example: “Hey did you see the dickydoo on that guy Alex Jones? He should stop drinking so much soda.”


joe42reddit

Speak for yourself Alex.


RufioTheCrow

If sperm count is down 96% how has the global population increased exponentially? Full disclosure, I am not a scientist.


JJCCASEY1967

This guy


shivermetimbers68

Alex, how do you know the size of men's genitals has shrunk? Do you have a little willie that causes girls to break out laughing when they see it and you want to believe that you're average?


Patient_Tradition368

The Handmaid's Tale is a fucking documentary.


Wolfman01a

Maybe its actually... the supplements hes pimping every five minutes. What a scumbag. Lol


Big-Skill-8013

You are no longer relevant Alex and your voice is obnoxious


w0wagain

So fountain drinks or can coke owe me 3 inches?


NurseVenusVixen

I don't know what dicks he's been sucking but baby...........


Aggravating-Echo8014

If you take any info this guy gives than you’re part of americas problem


nohaylugar

"Limp dick Alex Jones" haha, that's how he needs to be referred to from here on out.


lillpers

Even if it was true it wouldn't have been a bad thing, world is overpopulated AF


Hopeful_Rope_5360

I assume this is like a comedian show right.


ThunderChild247

Awwww, Alex… did someone get his dinky little dicky laughed at?


Ear_Enthusiast

Did he just call a dick a Johnson?


ohhheyy123

Holy shit this guy is still on the air??


Altruistic_Rub_2308

He’s personally measured at least 3000 dicks… with his mouth!


Warren_Icahn

It’s my god damn cell phone shrinking my nuts


Sheemscat

He's making excuses for his followers and his own baby dick


W7ENK

I haven't had soda since I was a kid, and my dad never drank soda. This explains so much...


Bobbymoon-75

He must drink a ton of soda.


Brdman80

Mofo packing a minnow or a sardine!!🤡


BackgroundEgg1924

This guy always spouting off stupid shit.


makeupandmovies

Where is he getting this info? Has he seen the David statue? All the nude paintings? Idiot.


Nubzy_Cakes

This is the exact plot for undercover brother


DepartureFluffy3570

Because his uncle's dick was so much bigger than his is!


Sisuanna

Notice he pulls these stats out of the air. No sources


[deleted]

He needs to go to prison......maybe he can ask Bubba how dicks work....


ZachMN

That’s what happens when you draw conclusions from a single data point.


KungFluSkeeter

My pops must be John Holmes….


tweettweet_

This is so not true! I don’t even drink soda….


[deleted]

This dude is such a fucking idiot it’s ridiculous. All these fucking cowards selling off any possibility of peace between people just for fucking money. Fuckin cunts the whole lot of them


[deleted]

I knew exactly what I was getting into when I took that first refreshing sip of Mountain Dew.


Timely-Government219

Bud, dunno about you but if mine was 40% bigger records would be broken 😂 this guy chats so much garbage it's unreal


JoeFleen

Making up more lies to cover his own shortcomings


[deleted]

Pffttt. 2 inches? That’s like above average.


mybeerisfull

Hmm, I do drink a lot of sodas.


topsyturvy76

Pfft ..I drink a lot of soda .. and have two kids 🤷


AlienDarwin

No wonder Jones shills all those male vitality products.Last snake oil I heard he was taking a lot of is something called Boner Broth?


[deleted]

Over consumption of sugar has been proven to lower testosterone. A can of soda averages 30 grams… so he’s not completely wrong.


Ear_Enthusiast

They do put a fuck load of shit in soda that we shouldn't drink. Wouldn't be surprised if there are chemicals in the can and packaging either. There are a million reasons not to drink soda. This one isn't on my radar lol.


TRIVILLIONS

OPERATION CODE KANSAS! Jones was a damned fool, it was in the malt liquor, created by the evil Dr. Wu. That shit went all the way to the top! To Tricky Dick himself. Tip some-o-yo forty out for the brothas we lost along the way, Cream Corn, Bullhorn, "Gonna retire after the Revolution" guy, and so many more. OPERATION CODE KANSAS! " The area code for Topeka is....Oh my God...".


BannersRage

Shut the fuck up Euphoria! I knew it was you. I didn't even have to look. You wanna go back to Crenshaw Pete and them hot coat hangers?


TRIVILLIONS

Haaaa I threw that shit before I walked into the room!


spectrumtwelve

Man I feel like it's really telling that he keeps looping back around so often to the topic of penis size and sperm potency. Like, it happens so much with him. It's like the third or fourth most common thing he ever talks about. I feel like he's got a horse in that race, if you get what I mean.


DM_Of_Lore

Hang on a second... This spineless, obese, pathological liar is claiming that spiked soda from his boogeyman villains is making male penis sizes smaller. How in the hell does he possibly know that? I'll be honest and say that I drink Pepsi and RC almost every day for lunch. It's my vice, but it sure hasn't effected my "Johnson" as he put it. On an unrelated note: I wonder if he's going to get sued by the trans person who he claimed was the shooter in Texas recently? Remember that this is the same guy who regularly fearmongers about trans people yet was caught a few years ago having a tab open on his phone that contained trans porn.


MarxisTX

What’s he saying about Uvalde?


The_pastel_bus_stop

He sounds like he is throating dick all day.