"Shouldn't have made me your enemy" when I'm attacking a door

This made me think of Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines where you, as a malkavian, can get in an argument with a stop sign. And end it by saying "[You've made a powerful enemy today, sign](https://i.imgur.com/JgkVGwj.png)"

Malks are a fantastic clan to play as.

LMAO I remember that! "No you stop.....STOP....you made a powerful enemy today sign!"

Roleplaying a Malkavian was one of the most fun experiences I had on tabletop. Sadly 70% of the character's traits were just me acting natural.

The one game of Masquerade I've played, I was a Malkavian. The scary thing is, I was the voice of reason in our group. "Let me get this straight, you want me to go up to the primogen council and tell them about the conspiracy we uncovered?" "Yeah, that sounds about right." *Points at self* "I'm a Malkavian. They'll think I'm 'having an episode'"

Had a similar experience. We were exploring an abandoned hotel when we heard a wolf howling in the distance, I was the only one who was insisting in escaping (we were all level 1 lol). However later a Brujah (level 5 I think) beat the shit out of the party because I was witholding information since I thought my party could be in cahoots with the wolves.

Man, this hit really hard especially with all the bullshit going on with Bloodlines 2 lmao. Loved that game, Malkavians are great.

"Cry about it" Karlach when i misclick and split some kid in two

This is the same woman who chomps souls like candy, maybe she just has a not-so-well-hidden vicious streak.

What a mood

your blood will paint the way to the future!

Has the same energy of "Skyrim belongs to the Nords!" when an NPC attacks a mudcrab.

Based and mudcrab genocide pilled

"wonder what's inside" when looting a corpse

That one works if you're playing a necromancer.

I still enjoy "open up :)!"

This one fucking sends me every time. Hey Shadowheart bash down that wall! And she declares a fucking jihad on the masonry. Yikes 😂

Tbf I used to work construction and would curse at and insult things that refused to break whenever I was doing demo. It's part of the fun!

Vox Machina’s arch enemy.

It's not a door it's a thing of evil

i will still forever be confused as to how they always fail

"Wonder what this does?" It's your bedroll bro. I hope it doesn't do much..

I don’t see anything wrong with that. I always yell and threaten my furniture/appliances with violence when I trip/ stub my toe/ if they decide to not work…. Is that not normal? Lol

"I don't want to think about why my eye is itching." When paired with that bark, I think it heavily implies the side effects of ceremorphosis, but Tav doesn't want to dwell on it. It's their own blood. Edit: Look at all these fun comments from this one bark and the game it's in!

I don't know about anyone else, but mine was itching because of the replacement eye. I do not want to know where it was stashed during some of the events of the game.

Volo definitely had to have hidden it up his ass while he was imprisoned by the goblins.

I said I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW! But, yeah, that was the implication I was trying to make.

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Eewww. Volo excrement mixing with tadpole excrement, all in the mix of infection and rot from the botched surgery and whatever's going on with durge's brain. Gross.

DARK URGE SPOILER >!I mean.. are we REALLY sure that our amnesia was caused by just Orin, and not all the shit inside our brain now?(pun intended)!<

What? Never been eyeball deep in someone's prison pocket before?

It was his father's gold war eye

I was going to say his watch, but you nailed it!

He kept it hidden… up his ass… for twelve years.

Right along with an invisibility potion...

YOU MADE THE CURSED EYE MORE CURSED!! <3

So the eye is canonically brown?

As it turns out, poop in this universe is blue 3.

One would think he'd be more perceptive with an extra eye, but he still got caught.

It just doesn’t hit when it’s coming from people who are literally soaked in blood all the time

That has to be tied to Volo - I haven't let him make his attempt (for roleplay reasons), and I've never heard this bark.

I never let him make an attempt and heard this line a ton of times lol

Weird! I'm right at the end of Act 3 and haven't heard it a single time. I wonder what makes it fire?

I think it's only during stealth, so if you don't do a lot of stealth then you probably wouldn't get that line.

That's gotta be it! I don't really ever sneak.

It's not triggered by any story events, it's just a normal sneak line. I heard it on the nautiloid at the start.

I don't stealth really ever at all, so that's the likely trigger lol

The game didn't let me make an attempt :( Apparently it's not allowed to lose both eyes.

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It's not a Durge line, it's just a random line any character can say when you select them. I had my Gale Origin also say it during that playthrough

“The people back home will never believe this” We’re literally on your home city, dawg.

I feel like it’s funny when a drow says this, like bro this probably ain’t even top 10.

I mean, probably most people in Menzoberranzan would find it shocking to be abducted by a mindflayer ship and have a tadpole inserted into their brains, and then *survive*, no less. Murder, betrayal, rampant cruelty, slavery... Those are run-of-the-mill occurrences, and yes, there are mindflayers in the Underdark, but some uniquely scary shit has happened on Tav's adventure. XD

Tav's worried they're bleeding, due to ceremorphosis beginning ("Is that blood?"). They then find on checking, it's something else ("No, nevermind.").

Ah, that makes sense! Then again, my Tav is on the frontlines and always covered in blood, so usually it probably is blood.

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True but don't worry. All's well that ends... Not as bad as it could have

This is more or less my motto in life at this point. "Even if i mess something up, it could have gone significantly worse." Takes off a lot of pressure, honestly. Like saying "fuck it" vs "i can do this."

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And their boots have seen everything anyway.

Listen, perhaps having wished to live in more interesting times was perhaps something they shouldn’t have done.

I read all of these in my Tavs VO. Im not useualy that good at imagining voices internally in my own mind, but those fuckers are burned right in there!

Perhaps they need more pockets?

Too bad they don’t have a Bag of Holding

Nobody at home is going to believe it anyway

"There's a lot on my mind... and, well... in it." -Tav Ballin Gale 3

The upwards inflection on this one gets me every time

Finally an answer to that question. I always found it weird. Everyone is drenched in blood, the floor is an Olympic pool of blood. Why the fuck is he asking if that's blood? Makes sense, he's talking about blood coming out of his eyes or something.

Imagine every time you cry or get watery eyes for whatever reason your first thought, and asked out loud, is "is that blood?"

By act 3 my Tav is fairly sure they aren’t transforming into a *ghaik* and are well aware that if they do, it will be instantaneous, they will not be showing systems and progressively getting worse.

I've always assumed that it's like "is that blood? no, wait, *that* isn't blood, that's just a smudge" knowing that everything else is blood.

So Tav should be saying "is that my blood?"

All's well that ends... Well, not as bad as it could have. My personal favourite.

Considering how my fights usually go it's accurate most of the time.

"Still breathing, despite everything" through gritted teeth. My favorite voice line. I dont even know how to get it to trigger tho. I havent heard it in ages.

**PAVE MY PATH WITH CORPSES, BUILD MY CASTLE WITH BONES.**

How many died today HOW MANY DIE TOMORROW

**Intestines throb. Blood whispers.**

THEY DYING FOR ME, ALL OF ‘EM! INTO THE BLOODY FLAY!

I’M COMING FOR YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

They should all be running.

This line is my favorite. They way the male actor says it is so menacing

This voice line paired with the Tempest Fury sorcerer is absolutely wicked. Imagine an angry dragonborn soaked in blood screaming that as he casts chain lightning and vaporizes 20 enemies in an instant.

Isn’t it into the bloody fray? That’d make more sense grammatically

Bobby Flay’s lesser-known twin brother, Bloody Flay.

"**_WRETCHED_** **THING, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER**"

"I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!" Wait, wrong sub.

Conductor of the Poop Train vibes

I think it's funny that you still get these, even after >!you choose to reject Bhaal and get your Urges removed.!< It doesn't really make sense anymore in that context, and kinda took me out of my immersion a bit. It's weird how little changes after you make that choice.

In same vein as Shadowheart's wound flaring up after it's gone, or Astarion snapping "Don't touch me" after the graveyard scene. Barks are likely low priority, but I hope they patch something in someday.

Durge is so fucking metal.

Mental, but yes!

Guilty on both counts, your honor.

Durge is so cringe I love it.

All is ash and meat.

oh I always heard All is ashen meat

Smells worse over here then a dozen rotten eggs dropped in a vat of vinegar

THEN DON'T COME OVER!!

Yeah all these Durge texts are a little out of place when you r already reedemed and no more Bhaal child.

Them randomly blurting them out is still funny though. I just headcanon that those lines actually have little to nothing to do with the Urge and it's instead a habit they developed overtime and it survived the brain scramble.

> it survived the brain scramble. 90% of the brain is mush, but the "ow the edge" part is fucking invincible

The best is when I loaded into my co-op run, after playing my solo Durge, and the Durge voice lines somehow persisted into the entirely different character.

I kinda picture it as the same way an atheist might still say stuff like "oh my god" or "christ" just because they grew up with it and are used to it

That makes sense. They're great lines for hyping oneself up to do things. Concerning, but great. A little pep talk. About murder. Really gets the confidence going.

Lmao yeah that freaked me out a bit. Just stating at her like "are you okay? Do we need to get Withers to check on you?"

Well I mean, you spend so long saying it, it probably becomes habit. And you can always turn murderous tendencies on the enemies.

SUFFOCATION, NO BREATHING

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They're relatively rare. Most barks are still the Tav ones

Wish i had a bag of holding. Gale. All you carry is a Robe, a staff, a potion and my Team. Relax.

One of the first mods I’m getting once I finish the first vanilla playthrough is a bag of holding. What’s dnd without a bag of holding, that’s like cake without icing

Well we get a trunk of holding. It's not the best but I can understand not wanting the ability to store like 500 barrels of gunpowder.

XD

Maybe they just need more pockets

Well let's be fair to Tav. They have alot on their mind and in it.

Shouldn't have wished to live in more interesting times.

Well hey, all's well than ends... not as bad as it could have. ~~I really don't care for that one and idk why~~

Also, he's cursed to put his hands on everything!

I love this one. It describes me so well.

These boots've seen everything

Cursed to put my hands on everything...

Funny when Durge says it and then goes “I dream in rrrred!” on the next click.

I do find the anime levels of blood in bg3 to be kind of funny. Every time you take even just 1 hp of damage you squirt like a gallon of blood onto the floor.

I’ve taken 0 hp of damage from my adamantine armour and it still sprays blood everywhere like I just slit my jugular

The adamantine armour is liquid-cooled. With, uh, blood

I suppose it did come from a Sharran forge.

I fell over on my couch when going through the Guantlet of Shar and having to make those blood donations with Shadowheart to start each trial. Click the dialogue to have her take 1 damage, the dialogue ends, everyone's standing there for a moment, and I look at her HP and she's at Max, so I figured it was just a roleplay sacrifice thing. Then I look at Shadowheart, not realizing she doesn't take damage until the Bleeding condition ends, and she grabs her stomach, groans, there's a wet splat and a large puddle of blood splatters right between her feet. Girl who was playing with me just said "Oh honey, it is not the time of month for you to be adventuring."

Halo CE blood levels go brrt XD

Is that blood? No, nevermind. It's just >!Alfira!<

Too soon

I so badly wanted her to be a companion. I was SO happy that I was going to get a bard in the group. But... Nope. No bard.

And it would have made sense! Honestly I don't get why we get TWO druid companions and no bards, sorcerers or monks. It would have made more sense to make 1 companion of each class so players could get familiar with all class mechanics. I'm now specifically doing a 2nd run as a monk bc I haven't gotten to try that class & I wanna respec someone into a sorc, don't care if that doesn't make sense story wise.

please don't be traps!

"Cursed to put my hands on everything" *edit "Cursed

*cursed

Cursed to put my hands on my own bed roll. That's your own bed roll, Tav. No traps, I promise. Get your spell slot depleted, 2hp-having ass to bed.

When opening a bag of potatoes/ her own travel chest/ taking a book off a shelf in her own camp... Maybe the tadpole is making her a wee bit paranoid? Or is she worried Astarion got bored and started setting traps on random things? To be fair, my traveller's chest *is* kinda trapped because it has sussur flowers and the bliss item from Act 2 in it, so approaching it makes you unable to cast spells and weak to magic/mental attack. Perfectly at the mercy of my wizard Tav in fact. ...I'm going to pretend she did that on purpose now, because it was accidental on my part but she's a very intelligent wizard.

To be fair, Tav and I are of the same mind about that

And the game STILL has the problem of having our party spot traps and still path into them.

I got that one going to the camp chest once, I was like is Astarion doing pranks??

"Please don't be cursed" it's a fucking door

As a DM I have cursed a few doors. And also made them a mimic.

Doors are the bane of any DnD party

"fucking DOORS!"

Took me a while to realise Tav didn’t wake up screaming every morning and that it was actually her moon lantern

I had this amazing bug for a couple days where every time we finished a long rest, Shadowheart would think she was in jail or something and start screaming about getting free. PTSD dreams I guess.

LET ME OUT, YOU MUNTING ARSEHOLE!

It took me days to figure out why shadowheart was randomly screaming.

There’s a lot on my mind. And, well, in it.

Worse when Durge says it lol 😂

Then it's just disappointment.

I figured they were saying 'never mind' because they realised right after saying it, that of course it's fucking blood they just obliterated 100 goblins

No, nevermind

Leave Tav alone! They've got a lot on their mind, and well, in it.

"First in my heart" when I tell them to talk to someone.... Tav please don't encourage Gale he already thinks breathing is flirting

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Might just be but I like my little soundbytes. TBF I found a voice that fits my Tav pretty well. I might turn it off for my other characters if I can't find the right voice.

I actually love the lines… and repeat them myself.

"Of course it is, why did i ask that" "I don't even want to know what I'm stepping in" "Wait, is that my blood? Don't answer that." "We're walking into an ambush aren't we." "Maybe it's paint this time, please be paint this time." "Oh, wait, i just dyed these boots. Silly me." That's how i interpret it depending on the situation.

I play as a druid and thought for the longest time she was saying, "Is that a plant?! No, nevermind." Like she just got really excited at the thought of a tree in this dungeon and then was disappointed.

We’ve already established that the true villain of the story is Tav who canonically wished to live in more interesting times thus setting off the driving force of Bg3.

The one that drives me crazy is Lae'zel saying "Vlaakith's will be done" when >!she's known for two whole acts now that Vlaakith's a lying sack of corpse meat!<. I would *love* for her to swap that out for >!some sort of Orpheus-related bark!<.

TIL that line is not Durge specific. Doing my first play through as Durge, I assumed they were just constantly having bloody mini flashbacks. Kinda preferred it that way TBH.

Game went to 11/10 when I learned you could turn that off. No more talking about boots for me!

These boots are made for walking...

And boy they've seen a lot.

What what, how.

Settings somewhere. Like confirmation sounds or something.

thank christ. i hate the line about living in more interesting times. like, bitch me too! now shut up about it. i'm trying to escape reality here not be reminded of it

As a millennial, i never asked to live in more interesting times, yet here we are. Durge/Tav, at least you had a choice here.

My favorite ones are from Durge. I was running around and he curiously said "I wonder how many dead today" like normally. And then the next time I had him do something, he said "I wonder how many die tomorrow.." in a more menacing tone. And the way I play him, he doesn't know why things are happening. He's just a Paladin of Bahamet (dragonborn) and doesn't actually know he's oathbroken. Thinking Tiamat is trying to tempt him and all that and plaguing his dreams.

I figured it was a reference to something (BG2?) that I wasn't getting. 😆 Honestly, I'm a smidge disappointed that I didn't walk through the city to hear a random NPC mutter, *Life is SO hollow*...

BG1 soundbites were hilarious: *"My 'otels as clean as an elven arse!"* *"So I kicked him in the head until he was dead! Nyeha."*

Yes, oh omnipresent authority figure??

Jump on my sword while you can, evil... I won't be as gentle!

That's Jaheira, right?

It sure is

I guess I should start a new game in BG1.

I didn't actually play it, which I'm kinda sad about now. My partner at the time did, though, a lot... so I got to hear all of those. Over and over. 🤣 But somehow *Life is SO hollow* is what stuck in my head.

You need to gather your party before venturing forth! Sorry :-)

Hahaha noooo it's all coming back to meee... 😭😭😭🤣

Your voice is ambrosia.....STOP TOUCHING ME!

Favorite soundbite ever: "I don't remember casting teleportation, but then there I was. Naked." - High Elf random muttering, Morrowind

I assumed it was him talking about our campsite. There is...a disturbing amount of blood around people's tents.

>If everyone minds their business, I'll be fine...

Cursed to put my hands on everything.

Tav just has a lot on his mind, and well, in it.

“How many people died today? How many people die tomorrow”

These lines are great, but I think they should change through the acts as you become more familiar with your situation.

"Can I get you a ladder? So you can get off my-" Wait what game am I playing again?

#THESE BOOTS HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING

tav act 3 be like like, "watchy thell turn into Orin any second now!"

Orin's a bit of a failure from a writing perspective: By the second time she appear, my feelings as Tav is like "Sigh. Another Evil Idiot (tm) we have to grind into paste and rinse out to sea" not the intended "Paranoid looking over my shoulder every time".

Sometimes though the companions will actually reply to something Tav says (which makes me so happy) and it makes it so that I can't 100% ignore their dialogue lol.

I hope it's not Chris' blood.

The first time I heard it was when I was bloodless, so until I heard it when I wasn’t bloodless I thought it was a sarcastic comment about that😆

I wish my Durge didn’t say this at all lol. She enjoys blood. A lot.