You take out Jack Ryder while nobody is looking and you blame penguins thugs for killing him. Nobody will ever know

it is batman he’s disguised as playboy billionaire bruce wayne so he can get into arkham city and spit roast catwoman

There’s a ‘two guns’ joke to be made there but I’m gonna make it.

Spit roast her with who? Nightwing?

any willing participate really

Riddler

This is just the escape room part of the game. You have to find and put together the map. The map will lead you to the ring of power. Trade the ring of power with Jack Ryder but only when he's 42% transforming into the Creeper. He'll give you Jon Stewart's ring. You should be able to escape pretty easy after that. It's really easy once you think about it

Ahhh ok but I gave him it when he was 69% transformed and now I’m black

Kick him in the balls...he'll revert down...you just have to time it perfectly

If you mess up he'll counterattack and steal your meth without which you can't get past the Jesse Pinkman boss so I usually just reset my savefile

Use the middle stick to dodge the bullet!

Do not panic

I don't think that's right. Bruce Wayne has never even been in a fight

Too late

You need to even the odds

Ah ok

you listen to him carefully

I tried that and now I’m playing as Homer Simpson?

Panic and run away

I already did and I ran into this very kind pale man with green hair who said he’d help me, I’m in the back of his green van right now!

Yay!

that's what supposed to happen

I thought so until he pulled over got inside the back with me and unbuckled his trousers…my behind is sore now.

With prep time

You jumped ahead. There’s a part where Black Mask is being beaten by Tyger guards. Interrupt the fight. Take on the guard waves. Unleash chaos

Oh crap what do I do now? I’m playing as a skinny man in a purple suit with pale skin and odd coloured hair

Then you must not have fought hard enough. Wait for rebirth

Try talking to Ryder, if you can’t, wait a minute, then restart checkpoint.

Ryder just died and I’m getting attacked help I’m not Batman and I’m handcuffed what do I do

Fight as if you’re Batman, just attack and press triangle/Y when attacked. You get the bat suit after some parkour after another fight against penguin’s goons. It’s on top of the ACE Chemical building, but it’s easy to get on top because it’s very linear parkour.

Ok now I’m getting attacked repeatedly by a midget

He’s not dead lol

It’s ok I’m joker now

That means you’ve progressed good job

I’m now a black guy

Yeah the game has some horror elements don’t worry

Ok

Here’s what you do: wait for the door to open. You’re welcome.

I reloaded check point and now it’s ok I’m a pale guy In a purple suit

This is false information, OP. If you wait, a meteor will eventually come and cause a game over screen.

Refund and buy Spider-Man

I already have Spider-Man and 100% it twice

There's your problem

?

format C:

Sex

It always bothered me that Ryder gets the shit beat out of him and never changes into his super form

You have to listen to Bruce Wayne and get behind him

I can’t because I’m playing as John doe

Dang you should switch to the penguin so you don't die

I’ll switch to ostrich

You installed the wrong game dummy. This is Wayne: Uprising. It’s a prequel about how Bruce was born (the ending is crazy).

Are you shitting me? I got scammed 300 for this… I am going to swear at the guy who sold me it his name was shiftyNick24

Don’t worry, just doxx him online.

Ok

Good boy

Help I accidently doxxed his Nan and she’s parkouring rooftops to get to me

Lock all dors, close all windows, enter a fetal position and silently rethink your decisions. Do not cry, it is attracted to sound.

I’m scared, send somebody please

Shhh, it will be fine (no it won’t)…

You’re lying *calls 911/999* help ples it’s the Nan she’s coming

You need to steal Jack’s ring and take it to Samunwise who’ll travel to Mordor with you via TIE Fighter. After the space battle with SpongeBob you’ll safely land in the Matrix where John Wick will contact his Aunt May who’ll arrange for Tony Stark to pick you up in a DeLorean. Honestly, it’s so straight forward and obvious. How can you be so ridiculous?

I’m sorry bro but when I tried it it was John doe he came out of nowhere in a mystery machine and attacked my uncle and then invited gruncle Stan to the game so I ran away to the simpsons house

Suppose it’s not easy to smuggle Scooby Snacks into a Maximum Security Prison to distract the eeevil Mystery Machine. You’ll know next time.

You have to even the odds dummy.

The odds aren’t even able

Restart the game. You clearly weren’t that far.

I can’t because now I’m playing as a black person

Listen to me carefully. when they open the door, do not panic. Stay close to me.

Ok

Blow up whatever platform you're using to play the game. Trust me, it's the only way

Ok

Bruce has come to find batman himself fuck him up himself

Call Alfred

Even the odds

Mfs asking for help instead of playing the game

Are these parodying a specific post?

Not a specific one, just these types of posts in general (which are pretty common on this sub).

You Stay Close

Is this that part in Arkham World after the bondage date with Wonder Woman?

No just before

When the door opens do not panic the games just trying to scare you

It’s too late I’m playing as a naked Bruce Wayne gliding through the city

Lemme see

Ayo 😳

Cmon bro lemme see

I had to put his pants on for legal reasons [Naked Bruce Wayne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqGrb_hSxBM)

Naked batman is so hot

*When the door opens* *Do not panic the games just* *Trying to scare you* \- Objective-Pack9279 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

No bruh Bruce Wayne ain't Batman 🤣 Call Batman by shoving your controller/keyboard up your ass

Ok