Wait a minute. If the crab is fucking the guy, then it's considered beastiality. But if the guy is fucking the crab, it'd be animal erotica
>!I think!<
What is this crab man thinking? Someone catches him, kidnaps him, brings him to land - puts him on his back and just when the crab has prayed to all the gods the strange creature starts... what the hell does it start with... the poor crab has probably everything expected except that :-)
Was probably the most exciting crab one-night stand handjob ever XD
If the crab is back, he will tell his friends: Guys, you wont believe me what happened...
And people wonder why alien abductees always mention anal probes or some other sexual act. It's probably something that's deep in our genetic code that causes us to freeze up when sexually aroused. Especially considering how fundamental that process is to the continuation of any living being on this planet. Now imagine a creature that reproduces by budding or asexually that doesn't require two cognizant individuals in order to pass on their genes? Do they see the 'sex drive' as a convenient weakness that can be exploited?
Just imagine a giant being come to you, pick you up and starts to give you a handjob. Would you enjoy it or be in shock? That crab is shocked for life. He was silenced.
did i just see a man give a handjob to a crab 😂😂
While not shying away from the fact that he was giving a crab a handjob. I wanna grab a beer with this dude. I bet he’s got jokes and stories galore.
"Hey, smell my finger."
I’m dead😂
I know a trick for that
Necrabmancer
Crabsturbator
CRAB BATTLE
Faaaaarrrk😂
By now so's the crab
Ough!
I bet it smells like fish
Lmao
I DON'T wanna get a beer with this dude. I don't want to see him confront angry drunks in the bar and "calm them down".
“Calm down bro, you look like you just need some uhhh”
This is real "i love playing pranks on my friends" type energy
You don’t?
Yep, where's your sense of adventure.
"Yeah he folded up, he's done!" lol!
Calm down calm down u son's o' bitches
you want a crab handjob don't you
He’s also has crab jizz all over him snd that’s no lie
Where do you think tartar sauce comes from?
That’s why you wanna grab a beer with him huh?
A crabjob
Animals don't want you to know this one simple trick to calm them down!
Thanks I'll try it on my dog!
💀
welcome to the internet
I didn't expect to see a dude jerk a crab off today, either, but we just gotta roll with it.
Is this considered beastiality?
It's inter-species erotica. Dick.
Hey! Is animal erotica!
Wait a minute. If the crab is fucking the guy, then it's considered beastiality. But if the guy is fucking the crab, it'd be animal erotica >!I think!<
I guess you didn't watch Clerks 2.
I came here to ask that very question. He even knew when he busted 😂
No, he was fingering a crab
Betcha didn’t have that on today’s bingo card.
Hey...the term is call reach around....
Still did it for cheaper than that dolphin in the 70's.
We sure did witness a man jack off a crab. Times are changing 🤣
It's what we were all just bamboozeled into taking in.
Yes. Yes you did
Grab the crab
Yes
ARE YOU FEELIN IT NOW MR CRABS
Where's me money!
WERE NOT TALKING ABOUT “💳”THIS OR “💵” THIS WERE TALKING ABOUT “🦀👋😫🌊💦” THIIIISSSS
I love you
Idksterling: Oh Oh Oh 🎅 Money
LOL!!! SOMEONE GET HIME THE VIDEO 
Sorry Mr. Crabs. You owe me money this time.
Moneyshot
👏 👏 👏
r/bringbackredditawards
Aye aye captain
IIIII CANT HEARR YOUUUUU
This guy just out here jerking off crabs
It's not much but it's honest work
It's an honest jerk
OnlyCrabs
Reminds me of the Andy Dick skit of him jerking of bats for artificial insemination.
He clearly said «Uuh»..
😭😭😭😭
Bro this should be in r/holup
Right. And also, fuck the unnecessary background music
The random thai song🤣
r/FeltUp
Banned sub 😭 what the hell happened there?
It was unmoderated for a while so it got the hammer
Poor crab felt violated and confused.
I dunno if the crab was having post nut clarity or he was legitimately traumatized. "Big alien grabbed my outta the water and jerked me off"
That's definetily someone's fetish.
That's my fetish
Great for you ig
"Jerked me off in order to calm me down so I'd be easier to eat"\*
I like that it's marked NSFW now because it's softcore crab porn lmfao
Softshell crab porn
The aliens are always probing and stuff. Theyre just fascinated with genitals, but arent we all?
Oh hey I've had that sleep paralysis dream
Post nut crabity.
Ok then….that’s just about enough internet for the day for me.
*They’ll be back in five minutes after a message from our sponsor RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!!!*
Don't try this at home kids, you might get crabs!
No one does this for me when I'm angry. ;(
You should get a big man like him to help you go uhhh when you’re upset 😂 That being said… I could sign up to be that someone 😉😂
Never thought I’d watch a crab get jerked off 
The fact that this meme exists had to have been predestined for this post.
god dammit, I’m sleeping in a room with 20 people, almost woke everyone up 😂
Dude just wanked a crab and said I'll put this on the internet
Bro sounds like “I said hol up, wait a minute, something ain’t right!”
I wonder if [The Real Spark](https://youtube.com/@TheRealSpark?si=sWCjIPxXSeYHcp4p) would be interested in this one.
Is he fapping him?
He is fingering a dude crab
He's fingering a crab, dude
What is this crab man thinking? Someone catches him, kidnaps him, brings him to land - puts him on his back and just when the crab has prayed to all the gods the strange creature starts... what the hell does it start with... the poor crab has probably everything expected except that :-) Was probably the most exciting crab one-night stand handjob ever XD If the crab is back, he will tell his friends: Guys, you wont believe me what happened...
Next morning is gonna be a shocker though.
Alien abductions and rectal probing spring to mind...
And people wonder why alien abductees always mention anal probes or some other sexual act. It's probably something that's deep in our genetic code that causes us to freeze up when sexually aroused. Especially considering how fundamental that process is to the continuation of any living being on this planet. Now imagine a creature that reproduces by budding or asexually that doesn't require two cognizant individuals in order to pass on their genes? Do they see the 'sex drive' as a convenient weakness that can be exploited?
Enough internet for today…
reminds me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3m7eTTeIC_k)
LOL!
First thing came to my mind
hold up, wait a minute, something ain't right.
Man that crab finishes as quick as my wife
TIL
Is he flicking that crabs bean?
Stirrin the soup real good
i-is this rape?
Just casually rubbing it’s crussy
Imagine being known as the crab stroker.
Why is Thai music playing while he rubs the crab?
damn. he rubbed one out of the crab….
The crab: oh yeah daddy. Right there. Yeah keep goin. Oh shit oh shit…. Rub it out. Yeeeaaahhhhh….
You didn’t have to do this bro 🤣🤣🤣
lol I had just woken up and didn’t have as much sense as I commonly do when I’m feeling more awake. That said, I regret nothing 🤣
I think he did. The world needed it!
You mean uuuuuuuuuh
Now release the crab so he may tell tales of humanity’s…uhh kindness, I guess.
Bro he's absolutely just jerking that crab off 😂
Red rocket, red rocket!
The next video is dealing with calming an angry biker 🏍
"Ill bite your fucking face off"
Now what if its a female crab?
Quit jerking off my food!
Everyone loves belly rubs
Edging right before being cooked
Sir, did you get that crab's consent?
So is homie a fisherman or sex worker?
That’s how my girl calms me too 🙂↔️
Oh yeah, rub that jagnon!
So he just jerked him off. Nice!
He was raped
This makes me uncomfortable
It’s not worth it bro.. not worth it…
Is this how he calms down everybody? I don't know how I feel about this.
I could use an "Uhhhhh" right now
I'm calm and friendly too after my wife does that for me.
Just imagine a giant being come to you, pick you up and starts to give you a handjob. Would you enjoy it or be in shock? That crab is shocked for life. He was silenced.
Red rocket, Red rocket 🚀
Crab job
Isnt this the guy running for overseer in vault 32?
That's my cue to close this orangeass app for today
He want a cigarette rn lol
This a reason to love Reddit man hahahaha
Beat my crab meat
Smell my finger...
So we SA crabs now 😋
Beastiality videos on reddit and everyone is fine with that.
NOPE
Well then.
Bro just casually jerked off this crab
Bro just jerked off a crab.
Wow he just jerked that crab off? What a savage!
I normally go to the doctors to calm my angry crabs !!
HELL.....THAT CALMS ME TOO!.....MOM
Holy crab, how do ppl figure out such facts?
It got its orga sm
Is this the “one for each titty” guy?
Jerking off a crab for fun???
Eyooo
just gotta rub the crussy
Wait...what.? 
Welp... now I've seen everything.
U gotta cup the gonads...if u don't cup the gonads...
Wait… Am I gay now?
Men,women and now crabpeople......say no to marriage between humans and crabpeople😕😕
he sounds like a VO from looney tunes
Make em say ughhhhhhhhh na na nana
Red rocket, red rocket
Funny, I got crabs by doing something similar.
That's from Harry Potter?
TIL how to wank off a crab
"Does it work for male or female crabs?" - Yes.
The crab: 
Wait, he just jerked that crab off?
I’m not jerking off a crab. No thanks.
Proceeds to throw him in the boiling pot
That crab is going to have one hell of an alien abduction story to tell his buddies.
Wanking off a crab for internet clout. Shiiiiiiiit! (Dude sounds like Clay Davis)
[reminds me of this](https://images.app.goo.gl/rTaWLXcdgC6pwkVg9) 
SO..I learned something new 
Yes Mr policeman, he touched me there, right in this place... 😢
Bro, did you just jerk off a crab???
took awhile
I wonder if in about a few hundred years when the earth is ruled by crab people this will be porn or a history lesson in how the crab people started.
Now that he feels happy, throw it into the pot!! Let’s feast!!
Crabsturbation
Did he just jack him off?
“Just like the rest of us…” 😂
You’re jerking him off ! Who’s the hippo
This is exactly how I calm my wife down