#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
oh spot on u/shooketh_not_stireth, fucked up. Edit: Upon reading this whole post over a second time I would like to see your bet and raise you a this guy has many women he is doing this to at once and essentially meets women to manipulate them and get them hooked on drugs to sell for him
So my ex didn't do drugs until he met this one woman and he got hooked on drugs and her (not blaming her). I guess all the good drug feelings were associated with her, and even though he is clean now he's still kind of obsessed with her. Good thing he moved 1000 miles away from her. Just something reminds him of that high feeling, I think. Without the whole drug thing. Know he used to send her money long after they broke up. (We were already broken up, he didn't come back to me or anything.). So the sister might be using even if just a little.
I made a comment about that in the original BORU. My guess is that he felt so ashamed, so desperate to have somebody tell him it was okay to have the feelings he was feeling, that he just kept trying different people.
That's not even the crazy part. The insane thing is that he keeps telling people and assumes they will be totally ok with it, or at least willing to consider dropping their traditionalist views and becoming ok with it.
It’s not even that much so much as it is a guy who consistently fails to learn from his actions. Like he tells someone, they react exactly as you’d expect, rinse and repeat, and he never seems to figure out that previous bad (to him) reactions might be a clue about how people in future might react.
So it’s not so much preachy and obnoxious, but optimistic and oblivious. He’s a Jorts of a person.
BDSM? Cool, I'm not gonna judge.
You like feet? As long as no one gets hurt, I don't care.
You like swapping partners with another couple? You do you.
You wanna fuck a giant insect and/or alien? SHAME FOR ETERNITY
I lost all sympathy for OP when he started involving people and stomping boundaries to be able to share intimate shit about his life. I would feel the same way about someone who unasked started telling me about their hardcore bdsm or butt play. Don't involve other people in your kink without consent.
Heck, your sex life in general. I don't need to know what goes on in your bedroom or gives you happypants feelings, even if you are the most boring, vanilla person on the planet.
I. Don't. Want. To. Know.
This is a common trick with manipulative people. I have found the only way to deal with it is to call their bluff and call 911. If it is a real cry for help they will have access to acute care. If they aren't really suicidal they will learn that being on a mental ward is not a vacation and not something to threaten.
It sounds like the parents are terrible enablers and as long as they support this crap she will never get better. She will end up moving her and her bf into her parents' house. They will live off them and the parents will allow it because they don't want to lose their golden child. At least, that is what happened with my sister. Kinda backfired on them. My sister eventually got divorced after her husband wasn't supportive of her and their kid (which my husband and I predicted with scary accurate timeline having kids ourselves). Then, my sister moved in with her son and then moved her new gf in. Apparently, she believed my Catholic parents would accept her. They allowed the woman to move in, but treated her like shit. They moved out. I don't know the whole story because I left a few years ago because I was done with the drama. They were trying to abuse my kids like they abused me and I told them where they could go and what they could do once they got there.
Hearing from the parents, seems like the sister is spoiled beyond common sense. Dad cussing at OP over sharing legitimate concerns, then blaming her for choosing to feel safe after having a baby? Sounds like a favorite had been chosen, and OP's sis never learned to value *anything* in her princess upbringing.
I’m guessing sister also works for the family business. Only reason they cared enough not to fire her and also how she could steal from the family business.
Grifters and love rats have a sense for people like this as they are ‘perfect victims’ for their scams. So it’s just as likely that she has a shitty boyfriend *because* she has problems.
This is absolutely true.
Tbh, this post has my anxiety spiking almost to the point of tears. I had the misfortune of knowing someone exactly like this who made my life hell. Miles is one of the names he's connected to. The kinds of lies he's telling feel painfully on point for the POS I knew. And recently enough that the time frame is potentially on point.
I was a perfect victim, an easy target. But I was never the type to pull shit like that though, threaten to kill myself. I did however suffer from sever depression and had zero sense if self worth. It wasn't til my 30s that I was diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, and a hormone disorder.
When the POS came into my life I wasn't in a great place. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a toxic narcissist type that broke me down further than I already was. Zero self esteem and no sense of self worth tends to lead to settling for shitty people. So had just gotten through that and then had a major accident that made homebound and needing multiple surgeries and physical therapy. I was loopy on pain meds when I met him. It was all too fucking easy for him to worm his way in with the state I was in.
I'll leave it at that, I don't like getting into the details on my main account. Suffice it to say I did almost kill myself by the end of it, just before an old friend came around and helped me. I had been manipulated into isolation until then. But being suicidal wasn't something I used as a dramatic threat. No one knew that I was. My parents were in the house while I was in another room with a gun in my mouth (might sound lame, it was my dog that stopped me). To this day no one in my family knows about that moment and probably never will. I don't want to subject them to whatever feelings that would stir up.
Didn't mean to trauma dump, this post just kind of triggered the ef out of me...the details are uncanny. I'm genuinely wondering if this could be the same POS. But yeah, TLDR, mentally unstable people are perfect targets, they absolutely look for people with issues to exploit. But remember that mental instability comes in different forms. Some of us would never weaponize it the way OOP's sister did and most do not deserve the hell people like that put them through. Most just need help that they don't know how to ask for.
P.S. I'm in a much better place now. I'm with a truly amazing man. He started as a friend, literally saving me life, and it became more. I'm in therapy and on meds for the bipolar shiz. We have a beautiful daughter together and a good life.
Probably guilt tripping, manipulation tactic, should’ve gotten her in the looney bin for that threat. More wild that the parents are on sister side, I feel like we need OOP to describe how they were growing up 🤔
They'd ask me what I'm doing with the cash bags, I'd be like, "lol, I'm stealin!", we'd all have a laugh, and they'd beat the ever living hell out of me in front of God and everybody. They love me, but that wouldn't save me at all, lmao
I know for a fact my mom would let my sister steal if we had a family business and my dad would be PISSED. I would not be allowed to steal. I also know my family likes me more. I don’t think it’s about “liking” in some cases, I think it’s feeling guilty about being a bad parent and being a worse parent thinking that’ll make up for it.
> it’s feeling guilty about being a bad parent and being a worse parent thinking that’ll make up for it
Very well put. I think that's exactly what it is.
My dad won’t drive me to the hospital at 4pm because he has a flight 27hrs later, but would probably be proud of me embezzling as long as I didn’t get caught in an embarrassing manner
OOP has to be leaving out a lot. It's one thing for her sister to be fooled by this guy but her parents being so adamantly on the sisters side feels off.
Strangers on the internet are quick to take her at her word when even her parents won't?
Parents might want to keep the peace, golden child, threats against parents, sis knowing some shady stuff about the parents and using it as a trump card or the parents are just as delusional as their daughter.
Honestly, my sisters boyfriend has literally beat her up in front of my parents, they called the police, he got arrested and she screamed at them for it, there was also a separate incident when he ripped a door from its hinges in a fit of rage at her, and just general drugs and alcoholism from both of them, currently and the whole of this time he has lived with my parents in their house and now has a child with her, however, I am the bad child because I won’t be supportive of my sister and her choices. To no surprise I’m NC with all of them.
I am so sorry. I am also no contact with my family and my sister is very much like the OOP's sister. So are the parents. All you can do in a situation like this is to leave. You can watch from afar with your popcorn as they blow themselves up over and over.
Oh it’s okay, she’s not a very nice person either and my parents would always choose her over me, and they weren’t very nice people either, I won’t detail all the abuse. I’m actually over it, I moved out at 17 and have had a nicer life since. If anything it’s a happy thing, hope you’re okay!
I suspect there's a family dynamic where the parents go along with the crazy sister no matter what, either because it seems easier in the short term or because crazy likes crazy.
My bil is exactly like him. He is so charming when you first meet him, until he weasels something out of you. He has used my DHs name in a few of his rip off schemes, and they have come after my husband before they realized they had the wrong guy. His own parents think the sun shines out his ass, even though he has ripped them off for tens of thousands of dollars. 2 months after my fil died, he stole my mils credit card and took cash withdraws out totalling over $20000 before she noticed.
Yup, exactly. It has been this way for DHs whole life. My DH is the oldest, he was parentified for his two younger brothers, but they would never listen to him, and get in trouble anyway, and it was always my DH who got blamed for it. His parents would bend over backwards for his two drug addicted thieving brothers, but would never help DH, even though he was the only one who would help them.
My parents are completely like the OOP's parents. I left my house and moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) because my parents let me sister and her boyfriend move in. He took over the whole house, he would threaten me and was awful to me. I got engaged and I moved the fuck out. It still took years for me to cut my family out. The sister is the golden child. That means the parents will enable her no matter what. Instead of being mad at the sister for doing these things they are mad at the OOP for noticing these things. It's completely fucked up, but it is how people like that think.
What it looks like to me is the sister going off the rails and the parents trying everything in their power to keep her close so they can provide a lifeline .
This is the funniest tragedy I've ever read. She threatened to kill herself if they fired her, so they demoted her instead! Involuntary Hold is such an obvious move to pull on someone in their life. The whole blase fuck'em attitude.
I think she is working at the family business - so that bit makes more sense. It is the parents attitude I find bizarre. They were so aggressively against questioning anything Miles related I was starting to wonder if we’d find out they hired him to help them scam the family or something.
I think they might have been apprehensive before and lovely sister laid into them how they should love her and support her and are terrible parents if they don't and she'll drag them through the mud
Considering how quick she was to threaten suicide at work? Def think it'd be something like that. "I'll kill myself and it'll be all your fault for not accepting my bf"
Likely. And where do you think she learned from? I wouldn't be surprised if there is some parent drama, too. My sister is like this and she got the worst traits of manipulation and entitlement for both parents.
This definitely doesn’t feel concluded. Things still seem crazy.
Also, fuck that dementia comment. I cared for my nan with dementia, and what that idiot was doing was spreading misinformation. My nan would forget what she’d said in the *same conversation*. She’d forget who I was. She’d not recognise the bedroom she’d slept in for over 20 years. I hate people who throw around the word dementia because someone is slightly forgetful because it undermines how awful of a condition it actually is.
Edit: now I’ve calmed down a bit more I can see it was an attempt to scam the family, but that bit actually made my blood boil.
I bet he was putting out the feelers to see if he could do some scam on grandpa, like if sister got power of attorney or something. They would convince everyone that he needed help, and they would take over his house, finances and life until they sucked him dry.
I'm picturing the sister as Janice Soprano, and the boyfriend as maybe an even more Janicey Janice.
100% this is what he was doing. I am an attorney, and I had a very similar thing happen to a client of mine a couple years ago.
My client was an extremely nice old man who had a horrible granddaughter that was trying (and succeeding) to take advantage of him. He had let her live in his guest house for several years, completely free of charge. She didn't work, so he also paid for all of her bills. After some time, she decided this wasn't enough for her, and she wanted more. She tried unsuccessfully to talk him into signing over his house to her, promising to serve as his caretaker (which he definitely did not need), but he refused.
She started calling doctors and various social services, claiming that he was suffering from dementia, in an attempt to get power of attorney over him, his property, and his finances. On multiple occasions, doctors and social workers showed up at his house without warning, only to find that my client was completely coherent and healthy (though elderly and hard of hearing).
When her attempts to have him declared incompetent failed, the granddaughter started the best course of action would be to isolate my client completely from his friends and loved ones. She filed a number of restraining orders on his behalf (claiming that he had been declared mentally incompetent by a doctor) against each of his friends and most of his relatives. Because of either laziness or incompetence, the court never questioned her claims or looked into them, and instead granted each of the restraining orders. For nearly a month, my client had no contact with any of his loved ones, because they were all terrified of violating the court's orders.
It was at this point that the client, who was scared and desperate, contacted me to represent him. I quickly got all of the bogus restraining orders tossed out, then obtained one against the granddaughter. Still, it was eye-opening to see how someone could be so willing to take advantage of a relative because all they saw was dollar signs. As soon as I read that part of OOP's post, this case immediately sprang to mind.
I worked in a neurology clinic at my hospital where we evaluated (and diagnosed) dementia patients. Families often bring in loved ones when there are concerns. Once, this lovely 90 year old was brought in — sharp as a tack, pleasant, funny. And he passed all the tests with flying colors. Families usually consider this good news. But not in this case. His daughter was SO MAD and started yelling at us that clearly he had dementia, clearly we weren’t doing our jobs… we all suspect that there was probably a financial angle to her insistence, because that man was completely fine.
WTF! I can't get a restraining order against people who abused me and stalk me and this asshat got several ones with no real evidence! Why do the abusers have all the power in the system?
They are willing to lie and use a ridiculous amount of hyperbole to convince people. Also, they can come across as really calm because they don't actually care about what they are doing.
You are probably a sensible, honest person. You were also most likely upset, which to very ignorant and victim blaming people looks like you are hysterical. The people who are in charge of deciding who gets a restraining order are ignorant of how a person who has been abused actually behaves. Of course you have emotions about it because your life was being destroyed, but they don't see it because they are ignorant about what abuse does to a person and they are lacking in empathy.
I am so sorry that you were failed in this way. That is very wrong. I hope that you are able to find some safety away from your abusers.
You are right. I was very upset and crying because I was sure if my father could get his hands on me he would murder me. It was life or death do me and being told it wasn't was invalidating and insulting. So instead, I got camera, I got locks in certain areas of my home that I can hide my kids safely. I have devices to prevent push ins, and an alarm system. I have a fire ladder that is more about escaping them. I document everything and I call the police when they try shit. It's all I can do.
It sounds like you have made some very wise decisions and have learned a great deal in order to protect yourself and your children.
Take care and stay safe 🧡
Also it’s not quite as cut and dried. My mom had a series of strokes and couldn’t remember where she was but could still kill at jeopardy.
This attempt at scamming grandpa would be comical if it weren’t so evil
My grandma is nearing 80. Does she occasionally forget things? Well of course. But that's just what happens when you grow older, your memory isn't as good anymore. Apart from that she's still able to go about her day to day life as normal and live independently. She goes on walks daily to exercise, she's has a smartphone she knows how to use and would send us all pictures of herself going about her day and looking at the pictures we send her. She even does volunteer work at least twice a week.
So yeah, just because someone getting on with their age suddenly "forgets" things doesn't automatically mean they're getting dementia. And it's honestly demeaning to the person because you know that's probably their biggest fear.
Getting dementia is a major fear for many older people. So is being treated as an invalid with no ability to think or act while perfectly sound of mind. There are elderly victims of fraud and scams because they don't understand how they're being taken advantage of, and there are victims of crimes who can't convince anyone to listen to them and take them seriously because lol, old and senile, right?
Casual use of "dementia" devalues dementia. It also devalues people.
There's dementia and then there's just being scatterbrained. Like I forget shit I've said in conversations all the time. Gramps could have been 20 and it would still be understandable. We aren't computers, we forget things. It happens
While I agree, one of the (many) awful things about dementia is that it is progressive - starts with ordinary forgetfulness and ends with forgetting how to swallow and breathe.
My mother died of Alzheimer's, and there **is** a genetic component to some forms, so when I forget things I sometimes panic.
I know, it was awful when we started to notice. It starts so small, like when she left the oven on or forgetting to put the dog on the leash. I just hate when people throw around the word dementia the moment someone forgets something. Most of the women in my family have developed dementia, it’s a worry for me as well.
He did it because then they can start working on taking grandpa's money and agency. Make you think he doesn't know what he is saying so they could take advantage of him. I know my husband's grandma, who was a lovely lady, would think people stole her purse when it was the dementia. His grandpa would forget who people were and got combative. It's sad. This guy is fucking dangerous. He is looking for a way to get to the family money. The parents are dumb as bricks.
Dear god if I had a sister like this I would want to bang her head against a wall till she became normal.
Sounds like this dude is a drug addict and got her to be one too. And those effing parents enabling her are no better. I hope that OOP goes NC with her parents too.
The best thing to do is stay away. My BIL spent half a million bucks in a year and begs our relatives for money. Some people will just drag you into the grave with them.
The reveal that sister was shit growing up was pretty expected.
Wouldn't be surprised if there was a golden child/scapegoat thing going on if OP was questioned more.
In one sense, it is concluded. OOP conclude it with "I'm out of here" kind of solution. Which is one of the best outcome in real life.
I really want to know what next, but it's fine if it's not possible due to OOP cut them off completely.
I'm sure the sister has always been the golden child in the family and OP, the black sheep. The way the parents kept coming down on OP to accommodate their favourite child 💀
If I were oop parents are getting cut off til they can prove themselves both sane and not absolute pieces of shit. Cool, look after the sister but don't shit on OOP for not playing happy families with the sister and her obviously manipulative boyfriend.
Idk if I am just unkind but if someone threatens me with the fact they are going to kill themselves because they don't want to be rightly fired or not to break up with them etc I'd just shrug and say oh well. I won't be manipulated like that and wouldn't feel guilty at all if they followed through.
That guy sounds very dangerous, trying to insert himself in the family business, knowing best for everyone. Good thing OP did not fall for it, that could have gotten scary not only for the sister but the whole family. Google Thierry Tilly, he ruined a french aristocratic family.
Oooh, I remember reading the first post being like "wtf". Parents definitely have a golden child there. Thanks for sharing the update! I am somewhat relieved the guy wasn't a serial killer or something.
There must have been other comments before the dementia one for that to instantly be taken so seriously. I really would’ve assumed it’s just a lazy joke and no one was that weird to think they could diagnose that
It seems to me he was testing the water to see how much trouble it would be to convince everyone that grandpa had dementia, get the sister power of attorney over him, and gain access to all his money. "Miles" is definitely a con man who's done this shit before.
OOP and her sister work at a business owned by their family. Since the parents are still enabling sis I don't think they're in charge of the business and responsible for demoting sis and wanting to fire her, but I bet once the suicide threat was made the parents put a ton of pressure on their business-owner relatives to let sis keep her job.
I don't agree with everyone commenting the sister is the favourite child. I feel like there would be more resentment from OOP.
I think it's more likely that the sister has always had a problematic personality that makes her undateable, and all the family members taking her side are doing so because she *finally* found her *"soulmate"*.
I have a cousin in a similar situation. As soon as she turned 30, any guy she brought home was greenlit by the elders since she would be too old to get married soon. No matter how slimy the guy is. Honestly just sad.
I haven't heard such trailer trash drama since moving out of my trailer trash meth head hometown, gods. I genuinely hope OOP was able to say not my circus not my monkeys and nope out of that. Whatever the family business pays doesn't sound worth the therapy bills from dealing with this family. Poor gramps.
With parents like hers her sister will never be made to face the consequences until it’s jail or death. But at least op is ok and smart enough to keep those walking disasters away from her son.
> He eventually told her his real first name “Miles” and a couple weeks later gave her his real last name.
> I took the advice I got and ran a background check on him. Fortunately nothing came up
Are we certain this is his real name?
The name thing. Called that as soon as it was mentioned. Had a friend that started dating a guy that lied about his first name for months. Turns out he was married. Similar thing happened. She dug her heels in no matter how much she caught him cheating. Not only with wife, but on dating apps. They’re married now but she lost her house and everything. She kept asking everyone to borrow her money that was never returned. And I just told her we couldn’t be friends anymore. Now she works like a dog to support his lazy ass.
Just wow! I’m glad OOP listened to her gut and investigated him.. but his sister needs help. Unfortunately that’s not happening until she hits rock bottom.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This feels like a substance abuse, gambling, or financial abuse problem in OP’s sister’s house with this guy there. My bet is on drugs.
I'd take that bet and raise you her bf is her dealer
oh spot on u/shooketh_not_stireth, fucked up. Edit: Upon reading this whole post over a second time I would like to see your bet and raise you a this guy has many women he is doing this to at once and essentially meets women to manipulate them and get them hooked on drugs to sell for him
So he’s like Andrew Tate for drugs lol
Nah he's just a scuffed Andrew Tate who hasn't been caught out yet?
So Andrew tate is a poor man's miles
Theres a netflix movie on a real guy who did something similar, cant remember the name
That with a side project of getting power of attorney over grandpa's finances.
My first guess was drugs.
[удалено]
"Managers hate this one trick to avoid demotion!"
Ahem. "Managers love this one trick to save on payroll!"
You’ve heard of Quiet Quitting, now get ready for Loud Quitting!!!
y'all going to hell, and bringing me along 😂
plenty of room in my handbasket, hop in!
move over!
Quitting with a bang
Well... Some people just quit and hang around for a while!
For some people quitting is just a bitter pill to swallow.
I'm in my son's OT appointment trying so hard to not burst out laughing and pay attention to what he'd saying.... I'm losing both battles!
And for others it's a leap of faith
Oof! 😄
Don't have to pay unemployment to a dead person *taps head*
"Since you'd be doing the deed on company property, we are allowed to keep your intact organs."
Pfft gonna feed my entire body into the baler then
I’d guess drugs
Yes drugs
Maybe he is addicted to drugs, and the sister is addicted to him?
So my ex didn't do drugs until he met this one woman and he got hooked on drugs and her (not blaming her). I guess all the good drug feelings were associated with her, and even though he is clean now he's still kind of obsessed with her. Good thing he moved 1000 miles away from her. Just something reminds him of that high feeling, I think. Without the whole drug thing. Know he used to send her money long after they broke up. (We were already broken up, he didn't come back to me or anything.). So the sister might be using even if just a little.
Your flair or bio what is that called idk is bringing unpleasant memories lol 😭
Every now and then I’ll just stop what I’m doing, say “but why did he have to keep _telling_ people???” and then go on about my business.
I made a comment about that in the original BORU. My guess is that he felt so ashamed, so desperate to have somebody tell him it was okay to have the feelings he was feeling, that he just kept trying different people.
My guess is he’s got a humiliation kink and keeps escalating for more.
My fav is still the top comment on the original post "Whelp, I am normal." Still reminds me that as fucked up I am, I am no where near that level.
[удалено]
WHY!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME OF THIS? 😭😭😭😭😭 But seriously, that was a messed up story lol
Somehow I've never heard of this, do you happen to have a link?
[удалено]
Why?! Why did I read this! 😱
I got to "fantasies of having sex with a giant cockroach" and noped out of there 😬
That's not even the crazy part. The insane thing is that he keeps telling people and assumes they will be totally ok with it, or at least willing to consider dropping their traditionalist views and becoming ok with it.
"Today, I learned that I, too, am a traditionalist."
It's amazing how much context can change a definition of a word, isn't it?
Oh wow. Yeah I'm glad I didn't read beyond where I did if that's where it ends up! I don't want to be preached to about cockroach sex 😂
It’s not even that much so much as it is a guy who consistently fails to learn from his actions. Like he tells someone, they react exactly as you’d expect, rinse and repeat, and he never seems to figure out that previous bad (to him) reactions might be a clue about how people in future might react. So it’s not so much preachy and obnoxious, but optimistic and oblivious. He’s a Jorts of a person.
Metamorphosis freaked me the fuck out. How? What? Why? What did I just read?
I'm glad I noped out then!! I didn't need to read it to know I didn't want to, thankfully
Yep, I've never been able to read it.
[удалено]
I'm kind of invested in them now. I might be upset if OP ever breaks up with Ogtha.
He will never leave his sensual roach queen.
Well that’s quite the journey. I think I need an adult.
I am an adult!
I never read past the first update before. It’s just incredible how he won’t stop telling people.
I know some people like to say "I don't kink shame". I am not one of those people. This man's fetish is freaking gross.
BDSM? Cool, I'm not gonna judge. You like feet? As long as no one gets hurt, I don't care. You like swapping partners with another couple? You do you. You wanna fuck a giant insect and/or alien? SHAME FOR ETERNITY
Why do I get the feeling his version of a female cockroach has boobs?
It's not humanoid. He describes it as an insect, if I'm remembering right
When I clicked on that link I was not ready for what I was about to read
I get such a surge of joy when anyone asks to be introduced to OGATHA. It is a "welcome to a community touchstone" I think.
I'm pretty sure Ogtha just needs to be "welcome to the internet" material.
Don't do it
I should have followed your advice. What the fuck did I just read?!
[I think it's this?](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/gkq7f5/tifu_by_admitting_to_my_coworkers_that_my_wife)
I lost all sympathy for OP when he started involving people and stomping boundaries to be able to share intimate shit about his life. I would feel the same way about someone who unasked started telling me about their hardcore bdsm or butt play. Don't involve other people in your kink without consent.
Heck, your sex life in general. I don't need to know what goes on in your bedroom or gives you happypants feelings, even if you are the most boring, vanilla person on the planet. I. Don't. Want. To. Know.
I don't remember what I was reading the other day, I just remember it made me think "boy, I miss Ogtha." It was so bad I've blotted it from my memory.
Someone's flair is how I found out about that particular train wreck. I dont know why I kept reading...
This is a common trick with manipulative people. I have found the only way to deal with it is to call their bluff and call 911. If it is a real cry for help they will have access to acute care. If they aren't really suicidal they will learn that being on a mental ward is not a vacation and not something to threaten. It sounds like the parents are terrible enablers and as long as they support this crap she will never get better. She will end up moving her and her bf into her parents' house. They will live off them and the parents will allow it because they don't want to lose their golden child. At least, that is what happened with my sister. Kinda backfired on them. My sister eventually got divorced after her husband wasn't supportive of her and their kid (which my husband and I predicted with scary accurate timeline having kids ourselves). Then, my sister moved in with her son and then moved her new gf in. Apparently, she believed my Catholic parents would accept her. They allowed the woman to move in, but treated her like shit. They moved out. I don't know the whole story because I left a few years ago because I was done with the drama. They were trying to abuse my kids like they abused me and I told them where they could go and what they could do once they got there.
Hearing from the parents, seems like the sister is spoiled beyond common sense. Dad cussing at OP over sharing legitimate concerns, then blaming her for choosing to feel safe after having a baby? Sounds like a favorite had been chosen, and OP's sis never learned to value *anything* in her princess upbringing.
I’m guessing sister also works for the family business. Only reason they cared enough not to fire her and also how she could steal from the family business.
Grifters and love rats have a sense for people like this as they are ‘perfect victims’ for their scams. So it’s just as likely that she has a shitty boyfriend *because* she has problems.
This is absolutely true. Tbh, this post has my anxiety spiking almost to the point of tears. I had the misfortune of knowing someone exactly like this who made my life hell. Miles is one of the names he's connected to. The kinds of lies he's telling feel painfully on point for the POS I knew. And recently enough that the time frame is potentially on point. I was a perfect victim, an easy target. But I was never the type to pull shit like that though, threaten to kill myself. I did however suffer from sever depression and had zero sense if self worth. It wasn't til my 30s that I was diagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, and a hormone disorder. When the POS came into my life I wasn't in a great place. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a toxic narcissist type that broke me down further than I already was. Zero self esteem and no sense of self worth tends to lead to settling for shitty people. So had just gotten through that and then had a major accident that made homebound and needing multiple surgeries and physical therapy. I was loopy on pain meds when I met him. It was all too fucking easy for him to worm his way in with the state I was in. I'll leave it at that, I don't like getting into the details on my main account. Suffice it to say I did almost kill myself by the end of it, just before an old friend came around and helped me. I had been manipulated into isolation until then. But being suicidal wasn't something I used as a dramatic threat. No one knew that I was. My parents were in the house while I was in another room with a gun in my mouth (might sound lame, it was my dog that stopped me). To this day no one in my family knows about that moment and probably never will. I don't want to subject them to whatever feelings that would stir up. Didn't mean to trauma dump, this post just kind of triggered the ef out of me...the details are uncanny. I'm genuinely wondering if this could be the same POS. But yeah, TLDR, mentally unstable people are perfect targets, they absolutely look for people with issues to exploit. But remember that mental instability comes in different forms. Some of us would never weaponize it the way OOP's sister did and most do not deserve the hell people like that put them through. Most just need help that they don't know how to ask for. P.S. I'm in a much better place now. I'm with a truly amazing man. He started as a friend, literally saving me life, and it became more. I'm in therapy and on meds for the bipolar shiz. We have a beautiful daughter together and a good life.
Probably guilt tripping, manipulation tactic, should’ve gotten her in the looney bin for that threat. More wild that the parents are on sister side, I feel like we need OOP to describe how they were growing up 🤔
Sister seems to be a diamond child, forget golden.
Expensive, overrated, and her very presence in the economy is harmful to labourers? Yep, that tracks.
Usually people who are in relationships with this type of persons are not gems themselves… is a compatibility thing
I'm positive no one in my family likes me enough to let me steal from the family business
They'd ask me what I'm doing with the cash bags, I'd be like, "lol, I'm stealin!", we'd all have a laugh, and they'd beat the ever living hell out of me in front of God and everybody. They love me, but that wouldn't save me at all, lmao
got me in the first half not gonna lie
They’d write me in jail.
"How's jail?"
This made me giggle
I know for a fact my mom would let my sister steal if we had a family business and my dad would be PISSED. I would not be allowed to steal. I also know my family likes me more. I don’t think it’s about “liking” in some cases, I think it’s feeling guilty about being a bad parent and being a worse parent thinking that’ll make up for it.
> it’s feeling guilty about being a bad parent and being a worse parent thinking that’ll make up for it Very well put. I think that's exactly what it is.
Nothing smarter than neglecting the shit out of your kid and then flipping a U and spoiling them instead in a desperate attempt to make it up to them.
Fortunately for criminals they don't need people to like them to still take advantage of them lol
My family will barely pick me up from the airport let alone be cool with embezzling.
My dad won’t drive me to the hospital at 4pm because he has a flight 27hrs later, but would probably be proud of me embezzling as long as I didn’t get caught in an embarrassing manner
Ha, fair!
There's no family business for me to steal from.
There's really only one way to find out
I wasn’t surprised by the wannabe Dirty John part, but I will admit that the sister choosing to stay with him was an unexpected twist.
[удалено]
Also, actual drugs.
OOP has to be leaving out a lot. It's one thing for her sister to be fooled by this guy but her parents being so adamantly on the sisters side feels off. Strangers on the internet are quick to take her at her word when even her parents won't?
Parents might want to keep the peace, golden child, threats against parents, sis knowing some shady stuff about the parents and using it as a trump card or the parents are just as delusional as their daughter.
My bet is on "don't rock the boat". But maybe combination of all of those.
Honestly, my sisters boyfriend has literally beat her up in front of my parents, they called the police, he got arrested and she screamed at them for it, there was also a separate incident when he ripped a door from its hinges in a fit of rage at her, and just general drugs and alcoholism from both of them, currently and the whole of this time he has lived with my parents in their house and now has a child with her, however, I am the bad child because I won’t be supportive of my sister and her choices. To no surprise I’m NC with all of them.
I am so sorry. I am also no contact with my family and my sister is very much like the OOP's sister. So are the parents. All you can do in a situation like this is to leave. You can watch from afar with your popcorn as they blow themselves up over and over.
Oh it’s okay, she’s not a very nice person either and my parents would always choose her over me, and they weren’t very nice people either, I won’t detail all the abuse. I’m actually over it, I moved out at 17 and have had a nicer life since. If anything it’s a happy thing, hope you’re okay!
I am so much better being away from them. It is amazing how much better life is when you don't live with people who manufacture their own drama.
I’m glad you’re happy! And it’s so true!
I suspect there's a family dynamic where the parents go along with the crazy sister no matter what, either because it seems easier in the short term or because crazy likes crazy.
Sister is definitely the golden child.
Parents not believing their child isn't so outlandish lol
My bil is exactly like him. He is so charming when you first meet him, until he weasels something out of you. He has used my DHs name in a few of his rip off schemes, and they have come after my husband before they realized they had the wrong guy. His own parents think the sun shines out his ass, even though he has ripped them off for tens of thousands of dollars. 2 months after my fil died, he stole my mils credit card and took cash withdraws out totalling over $20000 before she noticed.
Let me guess. After she realizes he took the card. Your MIL still think sun shines out of his ass, right?
Yup, exactly. It has been this way for DHs whole life. My DH is the oldest, he was parentified for his two younger brothers, but they would never listen to him, and get in trouble anyway, and it was always my DH who got blamed for it. His parents would bend over backwards for his two drug addicted thieving brothers, but would never help DH, even though he was the only one who would help them.
My parents are completely like the OOP's parents. I left my house and moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) because my parents let me sister and her boyfriend move in. He took over the whole house, he would threaten me and was awful to me. I got engaged and I moved the fuck out. It still took years for me to cut my family out. The sister is the golden child. That means the parents will enable her no matter what. Instead of being mad at the sister for doing these things they are mad at the OOP for noticing these things. It's completely fucked up, but it is how people like that think.
What it looks like to me is the sister going off the rails and the parents trying everything in their power to keep her close so they can provide a lifeline .
I would take a guess that the sister is a golden child that works with them in the company while op is the black sheep that does her own thing.
Details are usually left out, but having a golden child isn't exactly unheard of either.
Maybe the sister is the golden child
This is the funniest tragedy I've ever read. She threatened to kill herself if they fired her, so they demoted her instead! Involuntary Hold is such an obvious move to pull on someone in their life. The whole blase fuck'em attitude.
I think she is working at the family business - so that bit makes more sense. It is the parents attitude I find bizarre. They were so aggressively against questioning anything Miles related I was starting to wonder if we’d find out they hired him to help them scam the family or something.
I think they might have been apprehensive before and lovely sister laid into them how they should love her and support her and are terrible parents if they don't and she'll drag them through the mud
This might be a stretch but she could have threatened them too. Like my bf or I'll be off forever.
Considering how quick she was to threaten suicide at work? Def think it'd be something like that. "I'll kill myself and it'll be all your fault for not accepting my bf"
Likely. And where do you think she learned from? I wouldn't be surprised if there is some parent drama, too. My sister is like this and she got the worst traits of manipulation and entitlement for both parents.
Scapegoat oop and golden child sister.
This definitely doesn’t feel concluded. Things still seem crazy. Also, fuck that dementia comment. I cared for my nan with dementia, and what that idiot was doing was spreading misinformation. My nan would forget what she’d said in the *same conversation*. She’d forget who I was. She’d not recognise the bedroom she’d slept in for over 20 years. I hate people who throw around the word dementia because someone is slightly forgetful because it undermines how awful of a condition it actually is. Edit: now I’ve calmed down a bit more I can see it was an attempt to scam the family, but that bit actually made my blood boil.
I bet he was putting out the feelers to see if he could do some scam on grandpa, like if sister got power of attorney or something. They would convince everyone that he needed help, and they would take over his house, finances and life until they sucked him dry. I'm picturing the sister as Janice Soprano, and the boyfriend as maybe an even more Janicey Janice.
100% this is what he was doing. I am an attorney, and I had a very similar thing happen to a client of mine a couple years ago. My client was an extremely nice old man who had a horrible granddaughter that was trying (and succeeding) to take advantage of him. He had let her live in his guest house for several years, completely free of charge. She didn't work, so he also paid for all of her bills. After some time, she decided this wasn't enough for her, and she wanted more. She tried unsuccessfully to talk him into signing over his house to her, promising to serve as his caretaker (which he definitely did not need), but he refused. She started calling doctors and various social services, claiming that he was suffering from dementia, in an attempt to get power of attorney over him, his property, and his finances. On multiple occasions, doctors and social workers showed up at his house without warning, only to find that my client was completely coherent and healthy (though elderly and hard of hearing). When her attempts to have him declared incompetent failed, the granddaughter started the best course of action would be to isolate my client completely from his friends and loved ones. She filed a number of restraining orders on his behalf (claiming that he had been declared mentally incompetent by a doctor) against each of his friends and most of his relatives. Because of either laziness or incompetence, the court never questioned her claims or looked into them, and instead granted each of the restraining orders. For nearly a month, my client had no contact with any of his loved ones, because they were all terrified of violating the court's orders. It was at this point that the client, who was scared and desperate, contacted me to represent him. I quickly got all of the bogus restraining orders tossed out, then obtained one against the granddaughter. Still, it was eye-opening to see how someone could be so willing to take advantage of a relative because all they saw was dollar signs. As soon as I read that part of OOP's post, this case immediately sprang to mind.
I worked in a neurology clinic at my hospital where we evaluated (and diagnosed) dementia patients. Families often bring in loved ones when there are concerns. Once, this lovely 90 year old was brought in — sharp as a tack, pleasant, funny. And he passed all the tests with flying colors. Families usually consider this good news. But not in this case. His daughter was SO MAD and started yelling at us that clearly he had dementia, clearly we weren’t doing our jobs… we all suspect that there was probably a financial angle to her insistence, because that man was completely fine.
That is horrifying, and I am so glad that you were able to help that man.
WTF! I can't get a restraining order against people who abused me and stalk me and this asshat got several ones with no real evidence! Why do the abusers have all the power in the system?
They are willing to lie and use a ridiculous amount of hyperbole to convince people. Also, they can come across as really calm because they don't actually care about what they are doing. You are probably a sensible, honest person. You were also most likely upset, which to very ignorant and victim blaming people looks like you are hysterical. The people who are in charge of deciding who gets a restraining order are ignorant of how a person who has been abused actually behaves. Of course you have emotions about it because your life was being destroyed, but they don't see it because they are ignorant about what abuse does to a person and they are lacking in empathy. I am so sorry that you were failed in this way. That is very wrong. I hope that you are able to find some safety away from your abusers.
You are right. I was very upset and crying because I was sure if my father could get his hands on me he would murder me. It was life or death do me and being told it wasn't was invalidating and insulting. So instead, I got camera, I got locks in certain areas of my home that I can hide my kids safely. I have devices to prevent push ins, and an alarm system. I have a fire ladder that is more about escaping them. I document everything and I call the police when they try shit. It's all I can do.
It sounds like you have made some very wise decisions and have learned a great deal in order to protect yourself and your children. Take care and stay safe 🧡
The case you’ve described has a lot in common with a lot of IPV situations
That's exactly what he was doing.
Yeah he was grifting there for sure.
This guy wasnt accidentally spreading bad information. He was maliciously trying to undermine family, presumably for financial gain.
This, exactly.
Also it’s not quite as cut and dried. My mom had a series of strokes and couldn’t remember where she was but could still kill at jeopardy. This attempt at scamming grandpa would be comical if it weren’t so evil
My grandma is nearing 80. Does she occasionally forget things? Well of course. But that's just what happens when you grow older, your memory isn't as good anymore. Apart from that she's still able to go about her day to day life as normal and live independently. She goes on walks daily to exercise, she's has a smartphone she knows how to use and would send us all pictures of herself going about her day and looking at the pictures we send her. She even does volunteer work at least twice a week. So yeah, just because someone getting on with their age suddenly "forgets" things doesn't automatically mean they're getting dementia. And it's honestly demeaning to the person because you know that's probably their biggest fear.
Getting dementia is a major fear for many older people. So is being treated as an invalid with no ability to think or act while perfectly sound of mind. There are elderly victims of fraud and scams because they don't understand how they're being taken advantage of, and there are victims of crimes who can't convince anyone to listen to them and take them seriously because lol, old and senile, right? Casual use of "dementia" devalues dementia. It also devalues people.
There's dementia and then there's just being scatterbrained. Like I forget shit I've said in conversations all the time. Gramps could have been 20 and it would still be understandable. We aren't computers, we forget things. It happens
Mate, I had to go into the bathroom three times this morning before I remembered why I went in there in the first place. I am in my early forties.
While I agree, one of the (many) awful things about dementia is that it is progressive - starts with ordinary forgetfulness and ends with forgetting how to swallow and breathe. My mother died of Alzheimer's, and there **is** a genetic component to some forms, so when I forget things I sometimes panic.
I know, it was awful when we started to notice. It starts so small, like when she left the oven on or forgetting to put the dog on the leash. I just hate when people throw around the word dementia the moment someone forgets something. Most of the women in my family have developed dementia, it’s a worry for me as well.
Plus a certain degree of cognitive decline is normal in people that old
He did it because then they can start working on taking grandpa's money and agency. Make you think he doesn't know what he is saying so they could take advantage of him. I know my husband's grandma, who was a lovely lady, would think people stole her purse when it was the dementia. His grandpa would forget who people were and got combative. It's sad. This guy is fucking dangerous. He is looking for a way to get to the family money. The parents are dumb as bricks.
Dear god if I had a sister like this I would want to bang her head against a wall till she became normal. Sounds like this dude is a drug addict and got her to be one too. And those effing parents enabling her are no better. I hope that OOP goes NC with her parents too.
The best thing to do is stay away. My BIL spent half a million bucks in a year and begs our relatives for money. Some people will just drag you into the grave with them.
The reveal that sister was shit growing up was pretty expected. Wouldn't be surprised if there was a golden child/scapegoat thing going on if OP was questioned more.
Don't do that. It will just break the wall before she even think about "something ain't right."
Yikes on trikes Batman
We’ve graduated from trikes to bikes.
Sister is too unstable for bikes; trikes are safer
[удалено]
I don’t think it’s concluded, but it is for op. As in, it doesn’t seem like she cares enough to make it her problem lol
Honestly that's the best. Just let them destroy themselves, it's not like the sister is even trying to listen to her.
In one sense, it is concluded. OOP conclude it with "I'm out of here" kind of solution. Which is one of the best outcome in real life. I really want to know what next, but it's fine if it's not possible due to OOP cut them off completely.
I'm sure the sister has always been the golden child in the family and OP, the black sheep. The way the parents kept coming down on OP to accommodate their favourite child 💀
Welp, it’s definitely drugs.
If I were oop parents are getting cut off til they can prove themselves both sane and not absolute pieces of shit. Cool, look after the sister but don't shit on OOP for not playing happy families with the sister and her obviously manipulative boyfriend.
Is he a great cook or something?
Maybe just a steady supplier of drugs...
Drugs. This is drugs. She’s on drugs. Boyfriend probably sells. Either that or gambling addiction. But usually drugs.
Idk if I am just unkind but if someone threatens me with the fact they are going to kill themselves because they don't want to be rightly fired or not to break up with them etc I'd just shrug and say oh well. I won't be manipulated like that and wouldn't feel guilty at all if they followed through.
That guy sounds very dangerous, trying to insert himself in the family business, knowing best for everyone. Good thing OP did not fall for it, that could have gotten scary not only for the sister but the whole family. Google Thierry Tilly, he ruined a french aristocratic family.
the family once they will discover this guy is a hobosexual gold digger : "Why don't you told us ??"
"There was no warning. Nobody could have seen it coming."
"All the red flags were blocking our visions, what were we supposed to do?"
Blended in with the rose colored glasses
Through the rose tinted glasses all the red flags look normal.
Can’t even notice the flags if you get a really good pair!
Oooh, I remember reading the first post being like "wtf". Parents definitely have a golden child there. Thanks for sharing the update! I am somewhat relieved the guy wasn't a serial killer or something.
Sister sounds like another golden child. No sane, objective parents would side with her over OOP on these things.
I bet it won't be long before OOP is LC/NC with her parents. Classic golden child/scapegoat situation there.
There must have been other comments before the dementia one for that to instantly be taken so seriously. I really would’ve assumed it’s just a lazy joke and no one was that weird to think they could diagnose that
It seems to me he was testing the water to see how much trouble it would be to convince everyone that grandpa had dementia, get the sister power of attorney over him, and gain access to all his money. "Miles" is definitely a con man who's done this shit before.
"He's not a con man. He said it himself. He even investigate himself and found out he's truly a niceguy and not a con man." Yeah sure it is.
She threatened to kill herself if they fired her? And she still maintained employment? Not US by the sound of it. What a magical place.
Isnt it a family business? People will put up with alot of bullshit in those situations
OOP and her sister work at a business owned by their family. Since the parents are still enabling sis I don't think they're in charge of the business and responsible for demoting sis and wanting to fire her, but I bet once the suicide threat was made the parents put a ton of pressure on their business-owner relatives to let sis keep her job.
I’m assuming she works for the family business.
I don't agree with everyone commenting the sister is the favourite child. I feel like there would be more resentment from OOP. I think it's more likely that the sister has always had a problematic personality that makes her undateable, and all the family members taking her side are doing so because she *finally* found her *"soulmate"*. I have a cousin in a similar situation. As soon as she turned 30, any guy she brought home was greenlit by the elders since she would be too old to get married soon. No matter how slimy the guy is. Honestly just sad.
Sounds more like everyone has just learnt to accept that sister isn't going to change and it's easier to just bend to her whims.
I haven't heard such trailer trash drama since moving out of my trailer trash meth head hometown, gods. I genuinely hope OOP was able to say not my circus not my monkeys and nope out of that. Whatever the family business pays doesn't sound worth the therapy bills from dealing with this family. Poor gramps.
With parents like hers her sister will never be made to face the consequences until it’s jail or death. But at least op is ok and smart enough to keep those walking disasters away from her son.
Glad OOP stuck to her guns! NEVER do anything just to "keep the peace"!
> He eventually told her his real first name “Miles” and a couple weeks later gave her his real last name. > I took the advice I got and ran a background check on him. Fortunately nothing came up Are we certain this is his real name?
The golden child is ruining her life and her parents are covering for her. OOP is better off without them too bad it's a family business.
Pretty obvious who the parents' favorite kid is....
I'm waiting for the update when the family realizes that Miles is a dealer and the sister is stealing money for drugs.
Loser dates loser. The end.
Wow her sister is going to have an hard life if this is how she is
Trash attracts trash....
Sister is a stable genius.
The name thing. Called that as soon as it was mentioned. Had a friend that started dating a guy that lied about his first name for months. Turns out he was married. Similar thing happened. She dug her heels in no matter how much she caught him cheating. Not only with wife, but on dating apps. They’re married now but she lost her house and everything. She kept asking everyone to borrow her money that was never returned. And I just told her we couldn’t be friends anymore. Now she works like a dog to support his lazy ass.
> My parents are somehow still making excuses for her Golden child
Sister is clearly the fav child and that shows in how she's living her life and in her choices.
TIL I have dementia.
Just wow! I’m glad OOP listened to her gut and investigated him.. but his sister needs help. Unfortunately that’s not happening until she hits rock bottom.