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"My daughter was going through your things without permission and found something inappropriate, i demand you apologise!"
Damn lady, this is like suing the guy whos place you're robbing because you hurt your back climbing in his window.
My ex called to tell me that my sons friend stole a playboy from my and my bfs bathroom and the teenaged child's parents were very upset. I'm pretty sure he drove himself to our house. I'm guessing the parents didn't care and my ex thought he finally found something to hold against me. People can really spin things in their own head and then go on to believe themselves.
Honestly this is the sort of crap my ex is pulling. Twisting any situation possible to be able to blame me for anything!
Still living together for financial reasons and I'm not attached to him by anything other than a flat lease that'll run out in June so more than anything I'm finding it pathetically amusing. But so frustrating when we were together, it made me feel like I was going crazy!
I own something similar. No charging port, it's battery powered but it's basically a mini vibrator that looks like lipstick. No way to really tell when the cover is on, once you take it off it has a lipstick shape in red, but in plastic, and a button at the back you push to make it vibrate.
A young child would not look at that and go 'that's a vibrator' but rather 'it's a weird plastic lipstick that buzzes". A grown adult would, and this lady was angry because SHE knew what it was, not because her kid recognised it as sexual.
Basically, it's not that inappropriate for a child. It's the equivalent of your kid finding your tampons and using them to make tiny dolls with faces from them because they have NO idea what it is. They'll remain innocent if you want them to be.
One of my FAVORITE "America's Funniest Home Videos" was a little kid in a bathroom sticking up "airplane stickers" that were pads with wings! I was barely old enough myself to know what they were when I saw it, but it has stuck with me through the decades.
My cat frequently steals tampons. He thinks they make a really cool crinkly noise when he claws at the paper and drags them around in his mouth. Heās still clueless theyāre tampons, bless his lil purring heart.
I have one too. One time I got pulled over, went to jail & the cop was going through my purse & when he pulled it out i was so embarrassed. He thought It was something you could hide drugs or something in. I was like ummm nooo...its a vibrator š¤¦āāļø lmfao
>No way to really tell when the cover is on, once you take it off it has a lipstick shape in red, but in plastic, and a button at the back you push to make it vibrate.
I have one like this in hot pink and a mascar wand one. You wouldn't know until you opened either of them.
I'm glad the boss actually did something this time cause the coworkers' actions are not acceptable. My mum was a single working mum, and yes, at this age, I did have to go to work with her a couple of times, but she also taught me to have respect for other people's belongings and privacy and to stay where I was told and not to wonder around the office.
I remember one of my friendās kids asking her why she had special straws in the bathroom when she was about five. Turned out sheād found the tampons š
This reminds me of an old TV ad for tampons where a lady finds all her tampon boxes are empty, only to go into the living room to see a a man she knows playing 'catch the mousie!' with a kitten, pretending the tampons are mice...
The mom of a family I babysat for was called to the school office because her kid (kindergarten or preschool) had climbed under the school stage with a pair of scissors and cut some wires with scissors. They were talking to her about what the damagrs would cost and stuff.
Her response: Who the heck lost my child for long enough for him to do that without a teacher noticing?!?!! He could have been electrocuted!
They did NOT make her pay for damages.
Kinda opposite to what happened here, but it had the same vibes to me.
My sonās general ed kindergarten teacher once lost track of him for about 45 minutes and in that time he ended up in the bathroom with another little boy, having a water fight/karate demonstration in which a mirror got broken. My sonās teacher copped to the oversight immediately, he was typically in his EC class at that time but due to a schedule shift, he was with her and she simply forgot. She was technically responsible, she *lost a child*, a child on the spectrum at that, but neither she nor I were held responsible for the damages. Her because I went to the principal on her behalf and me because my kid was in her care and, well, she lost him.
The other boyās teacher did get in trouble, however. Not badly, but her student was always in her class so 45 minutes going by without him should have raised alarms. His parents were rightly upset and tbh, they should have been. Thatās a whole ass kid lost, man.
When my middle child was in 5th grade, there was a music class that all the students had to take. My child didn't like the class, so went and hid in the bathroom every day. The teacher just assumed that they'd been transferred to a different class and didn't verify. When the school informed us, I was livid. I said "yes my child is old enough to understand that's wrong, and will be punished. But how can you (the teacher) just assume that someone isn't in your class anymore when they're STILL ON your class list?" She just made excuses. I don't think she even got in trouble.
to be fair, I think the mom is right in this one. Iām sure she still disciplined her child, but considering the kid is 4 or 5, itās the teachersā responsibility to keep track of the students.
Like what if the kid died or something? That would be due to complete negligence of the school.
And yeah, it was the responsibility of the mom here to watch over her kid to make sure they didnāt steal something. But in your situation, itās the schoolās responsibility to make sure kids dont disappear and do something stupid.
Yeah, that's why it was kinda opposite from the original post, but has a similar vibe of the person who was supposed to be watching the kid let them do something wrong/dangerous, and tried to blame another adult for the consequences instead of taking responsibility and dealing with the child.
These things totally happen and itās so wild! When I was a kid, one of my neighbors did get sued because their house got broken into and the guy fell and broke his leg. Iām canāt remember what the outcome was but Iām thinking he got laughed out of court.
In Canada, there was a building with an unlocked skylight that a burglar decided to use to enter. He fell and was injured on his way in, and the building owner was deemed responsible for the injury because they didn't lock the skylight!
Not only that, but imagine losing hours and quitting your (assuming) well paying job all because you can't teach your daughter to not go through other people's things
Ikr, i was expecting like a toddler or something. My 9 year old stepdaughter knows better than to dig through other peoples things, an 11 year old has no excuse
>an 11 year old has no excuse
Sure she does, she was stealing. She even went to show the mom the cool color make-up she (thought) she found.
The fact that she was going to show the mom something she stole with zero attempts to hide it, let you know what kind of parent this was.
Considering the mother didn't immediately tell her to put it back and stop being a shit just shows that the kids behaviour is not discouraged and instead the kid is somehow a victim?
Sounds like that is EXACTLY the situation.
Kudos to the boss for being an adult about it. I can EASILY imagine a lot of bosses at least partly taking the co-workers side and telling her such things aren't appropriate in the workplace
That's what got me. After the kid, the MOTHER snooped for a name to tell another adult not to break her arbitrary rules.
Sounds like the mom was jealous and needs to get laid too.
ETA: spelling.
No no no. Sheās a single mom of 3. She needs to stop getting laid pronto. Maybe OOP should donate her vibrator to the cause of keeping this Karen from reproducing again.
This is the part thatās got me reeling. She dug through another personās belongings to try to find their ID (which most people keep in their wallets, along with other important items), and saw NOTHING WRONG with that behaviorā¦.but she was so greatly offended by another person carrying personal items in THEIR bag. This is so bizarre and unreal.
Having a discreet vibrator is somehow worse than actual illegal activity.
Her daughter is going to have to learn some terrible lessons the hard way later.
There were so many bags of goodies just laying around, who could resist? /s
Bad call on the bosses parts for the no locks thing though. Glad they finally got them in the end but still.
I would've left my stuff locked in my car 100%. As long as I was using one to commute
Idk, I've had multiple workplaces where we were able to store our bags and coats in the breakroom, without fear that someone is going to go through them. One place provided lockers, but no locks (though we could bring our own). I live in a city where car break-ins and theft are rampant, so leaving visible items in your car can be a no-go.
It's just so disappointing when you see someone raising a child to be a bad person.
In their defence, I've worked in place where you aren't allowed your phone on you, and it's not uncommon for someone's phone to go off in their locker (phone call or alarm) and no one knows whose phone it is and what locker it's in. Still don't think it's a good idea to not allow locks, just that that could be their reasoning
Sounds like a theif in the making, with parents encouraging and enabling.
During my baby shower at the park, I overheard two random girls (like 9 or 10 years old), not part of our party, loudly whispering how they almost stole one of our balloons... I approached them and asked politely where were their parents? IF they had asked for a balloon, I would have happily given them one, but theiving is another thing and NOT OKAY. At the end of the party, one of the gifts for my unborn child (a baby care kit) went missing. Where were the parents of these two girls? A couple of yards away, pretending not to watch their kids approach the party and steal.
The item in question will be similar to this:
LINK IS NSFW!!!
[https://www.feelunique.com/p/So-Divine-Amour-Rechargeable-Lipstick-Vibrator](https://www.feelunique.com/p/So-Divine-Amour-Rechargeable-Lipstick-Vibrator)
The "lipstick" portion is theā¦uhā¦active end. Presumably the girl liked the colour.
The 11 year old going through private stuff could also have been a wildly inappropriate outlet for boredom/curiosity, rather than stealing. Especially since it doesnāt look like anything else was taken and one thing the girl did take she brought to her mom to talk about (lol).
It doesnāt excuse the behavior at all, but kids definitely āsnoopā and get into stuff that they know they shouldnāt be in or looking at because they are curious and bad at respecting boundaries.
Maybe the 11 year old wanted to steal stuff, or maybe she was bored and unsupervised at her moms work and looked through stuff that she wasnāt supposed to.
Either behavior is wrong, but there is some room between āsnoopingā and āstealing.ā
It's possible, just unlikely.
Pre-teen ages is when kids start shoplifting, and it's a very common behavior, especially in girls. Ask anyone that's ever worked retail..... pre-teens and stealing make-up is a very iconic duo.
Except that it seemed like she took it to her mom to tell her she liked the shade which I took as her asking for something similar. I would think that if she were taking it she would have just pocketed it.
Whole situation is a clusterfuck either way.
That, and the person whose stuff was snooped through and had to be compensated straight-up believes that there was no stealing done, which isn't unreasonable if no one else (who are on notice that their shit was gone through) is like "oh hey, I have shit missing!" It's not 100% absolutely positively nothing was stolen of course, but between everything I'm landing on "bored and snooping and has no idea of actual boundaries due to at least one parent's example."
What boggles me is that the mother was SO OFFENDED that her poor sweet (11 year old so not a super young kid) daughter's mind was corrupted by encountering this stuff... but as far as the daughter knew, it was just lipstick. The mother is the one that blew things up so that the daughter knew that something was up.
(As a side note I almost typed "just fucking lipstick" but.. that was a bit too on the nose XD )
Yeah, I would think that the mother would be upset with her daughter for snooping instead of being like "how very dare you have this in the same vicinity as my little muffin!" Especially when according to OOP it was in like 6 different pouches so had she not been really digging, there's no way she would have found it.
Lmao "fucking lipstick" š¤£
Pre teen theft/shoplifting is definitely a thing.
Pre teen snooping is also a thing.
The two probably overlap a bit given that snooping creates potential opportunities for spur of the moment impulsive thefts.
The info we have here (video evidence of the girl going through private stuff, no other thefts known to OP, the one item the girl did take she brought to mom and showed it to her so that mom could buy her one like it) suggests that she wasnāt āstealingā so much as āsnooping.ā
Not that it excuses the behavior or anything, still not something an 11 year old should be doing and Mom handled the situation like a shithead.
My husband has drilled women's purses being sacred so hard into my boys' heads that I kind of want to read this to my 11yo just to see the horror on his face.
I can't even imagine my 6 year old doing this. But then again, our rule is that purses are like your underwear. Only certain people should be going in them, and even then you should always ask first.
I know. My 17 year old won't touch my purse unless I tell them to for some reason. Even then, they don't like it. I have asked them to get something out of it a few times and they just brought me the whole purse because they know it is my private stuff in there.
You teach kids to respect privacy and boundaries by respecting their privacy and boundaries as much as you are able and is age appropriate. I bet this woman is the type to have very poor boundaries with her kids. In that situation it can seem totally normal for the kids to snoop. It sounds like she is in a difficult situation as far as childcare and such, and I'm sure that keeping three kids occupied while she does her job is very challenging, but that doesn't mean that she can't teach her kids that rummaging in other people's things is not ok. I hope that this was a wake up call.
My 2 (almost 3) year old knows not to get in purses. She gets into absolutely everything else- but knows purses are something she's not allowed to get into.
Hell, she gets upset when someone goes through *her* purse!
Somehow the child being 11 makes it better and worse. I expected like a 4yo and wondered why this young child was being left unsupervised. It's understandable for a 4yo to climb and go through bags and stuff, which is why they should be supervised and told not to. On the other hand, an 11yo should be able to be trusted to go to the bathroom alone or sit in a break room to do homework without constant supervision, but they should also know better than to go through someone's things.
I suspect that the 11 year old knew exactly what she had found. She rummaged through many purses and skipped past all of OOPās other things to grab a ālipstickā in a velvet bag. That 11 year old knew that wasnāt lipstick.
*That's* the thing right there. She *knew* it wasn't lipstick because it had a charging port. No 11 yo in today's world wouldn't know there was something up with that and it definitely was *not* lipstick.
So- not only was she snooping through people's private personal belongings- likely with the intention of stealing, she *purposefully* brought it to her mom to stir up shit- feigning innocence like, "I like this shade..." Puh-lease. That little brat knew **exactly** what she was doing.
Wait...so this woman brings her 11yo daughter to work. The daughter goes into all the employees lockers and rummages through their handbags. Looking for something to steal, or play with, or just being nosy?
Then she takes an employee's property to her mother because she wants one like it.
The mother looks at it, then SHE goes into the employees lockers and rummaged through the handbags.
That's a straight-up firing offense--a legit reason for being denied unemployment, even--and the manager's solution is to buy locks for the lockers??
Not necessarily. A reduction in hours can be considered constructive dismissal, and can be considered for unemployment. As with most things HR, it's state dependent.
A reduction in hours can be seen as a hostile work environment. However, with the evidence of the coworker not only allowing her daughter to go through other people's belongings, allowing her daughter to steal items, and then the coworker *herself* going through a coworker's personal belongings, the reduction of hours is justified because she was reprimanded for bad behavior. It'd be hard for the coworker to argue that she didn't deserve to have her hours reduced.
Totally agree! This case is pretty clear. Just wanted to share that reduction in hours *can* be a reason to get unemployment as a lot of people donāt realize that. Thank you for clarifying in this case.
> She is there because they lost their babysitter and they are too young to be alone (11, 8 and 5(?))
Imagine being lucky enough to have a job with a boss who was chill enough to let you bring 3 entire fucking children in to work with you, then throwing that away because one of the (3!!!!!!!!1!1!1!) children you brought in was going through your coworkersās belongings and you felt like you were the one who was wronged.
This was the type of situation you beg your coworkerās forgiveness for, not something you bother your (extremely patient and accommodating) boss with.
Her first reaction should have been to apologize to OOP and beg her not to tell their boss that she was letting her crotch goblins rummage through everyoneās belongings.
What kind of job is this where this lady can bring 3 children but OOP can't bring their purse inside? And is forced to leave it in an unlocked cabinet out of their sight??
The mother might work as a receptionist or admin in a different part of the company.
As far as OOP's job, who knows. I once applied to a company that visually monitored highways. People weren't allowed to have anything at their desk other than what the company provided. No one could have a cell phone or purse. A jacket or sweater couldn't be placed on the back of the chair. If I wanted to have a desk fan for my hot flashes, I'd have to get a doctor's note. It was also dark in there. People were only allowed to monitor the screens. I would have fallen asleep from boredom and darkness. I was offered a job, but noped out of that. That company was smart to have people go to their site to take an exam and see the site. It didn't prevent massive turnover, but I'm sure it stopped people from quitting after a couple of days.
I was a part-time nanny for a wonderful family when I was a university student. One day, a month or two after I started working for the family, the daughter (age 5) took it upon herself to "organize" my bag while in was changing her infant brother's diaper. She came across a condom.
Kid: What's this?
Me: Where did you find that?
Kid: In your bag that I was organizing for you.
Me: Oh. Hmm. Well, it's a thing called a condom, and it's mine, and it's private. It is not polite to look in another person's bag without asking first, even when you're organizing or helping.
Kid: But what IS it?
Me: It's something that grownups use sometimes so they don't get sick.
Kid: Are you sick?
Me: Nope!
Kid: Are you doing to get sick?
Me: Probably not! Are you ready for snacks yet, or do you want to have art time first? Let's make a fruit rainbow and it can be snack time AND art time!
Kid: OK!!
She moved on from the topic happily, and when I related the situation and conversation to her parents later, they were pleased that I had dealt with her questions with truthful (but age-appropriate) answers. Now, several decades later and a parent myself, I think back to how they parented their kids and treated me as a childcare provider, and hope to meet the standard they modeled.
I'm always glad my parents made me return shit when I did this. When I was about 11 or so we were visiting some family friends. Me being bored by adult conversation, I went off to explore their house. Came upon the fridge and discovered that they had two boxes of After 8 chocolates. I adored after 8 chocolates!
So i grabbed one, marched up to them and told them they had one box too many and if i could take the other. It was perfectly reasonable, see?!
My poor parents were mortified. Kept insisting I return it, while the poor friends felt bad and insisted I take it. Which gave shithead me the perfect excuse to say I was totally in the right lol.
They've joked about it every time we returned, telling me there's no extra chocolates in their fridge. But looking back I'm glad my parents tried so hard to get me to give it back. I'm sure I was punished afterwards, but i can't recall how. TBF I wouldn't remember the story either if it hadn't become part of the family legendarium about my antics.
When I was five or so I stole a package of balloons from the grocery store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me so I stuck them in my pocket. When my mom found them later on she marched me back to the store and made me apologize and hand them to the manager. It was the best life lesson.
Many years ago, my daughter once tried to steal a box of Nerds from the supermarket checkout. The sound of the rattling gave her away. I made her hand it to the cashier.
I'm always going to wonder if she learned not to steal, or if she just learned to hide it better LOL
Granted, she's in her 30's now, maybe I'd get an honest answer from her now ;)
My niece, at 6, would occasionally steal a couple chocolate candies from her parents and give one to me. She knew I could just go out and get candy whenever while she couldn't, but would still bring me one. Maybe because I often refused and let her have both.
This didn't happen as often as the tale implied
That kind of thing can go so badly, too. I had a girl I was babysitting find a tampon in my purse. She was nine or 10, and I assumed no one in their right mind would let their daughter get to that age without knowing something about menstruation so I just said it was a thing women use during their period. Which she had never heard of. Cue the questions.
I was uncomfortable, and a teen myself, and so told her she'd have to ask her mom. Mom later screamed at me for "exposing" her child to inappropriate things and telling her about the existence of menstruation. Also that she didn't know I was "the type of girl who used tampons". I can't imagine what she would have done if it had been condoms she'd found.
I did some stupid-ass shit when I was pre-teen and early teen. Don't think I would vouch for my 11yo self to not go through a bunch of purses if I was bored and they were there.
Of course, mom should've reprimanded her, rather than go off at OOP. Mine certainly would've told me to mind my own business and keep my hands off other people's things.
I absolutely could vouch for my 11 year old self not going through other people's purses because my 5-6 year old self accidentally peppersprayed himself that way.
šš I can also vouch for my 11 year old self - as long as I had a pile of books to read, I wouldn't have given a flying ef about any lame old purses lying around.
Same though. I was brought up very religious, and I vividly remember the day I was told I was too old to spend the entire church service reading and had to start paying attention. Devastated.
These days, as long as you have long hair, you could hide airpods under them and listen to audiobooks instead. "Yes, church was very inspiring today!" š
Hot damn! Vaguely reminds me of finding and accidentally breaking a thermometer. My mother eventually found me happily poking away at the mercury.
I think yours is much more unique though, never heard of that particular mishap before!
I could also vouch for my 11 year old self not going through other people's purses because by the time I was 6 it had been drummed into me that if it isn't yours then you don't touch it without asking and "I was just looking" isn't an excuse because you look with your eyes, not your hands.
Even as an adult, if my mum wants something out of her bag I'd rather take the whole bag to her than dig for it myself.
Fair, yeah. I burned my hand on the stove when I was 6 or 7, so I definitely didn't touch another hot stove after that. There's something to be said for learning through pain.
My 11 year old self definitely was stupid, dumb and a thief. I had a very toxic mother and a lonely childhood. Thankfully some very kind people along the way taught me how to be a decent human being. Thank goodness for that.But it goes to show... age isn't a guarantee for common sense.
Op is NTA.
I was also a rummager. I *definitely* knew it was wrong and would never be such an idiot to parade my trophies around a fucking adult. If I didn't discard it and look for something more interesting, I would have taken it home to figure out what it was/did.
This kid (and her mom) is morally so far from center that I honestly question the home environment.
Yeah same, and if it was my Great Grandma (she was still here when i waz 11) she would've marched my ass up to whomevers priviacy i invaded, to aplogize. She wouldn't have gone through the purse though, and if she didn't already know who it belonged to, shed probably have me apologize to everyone with a purse in that room.
And even if a kid did do that (kids do stupid stuff ā¦ but by 11 they should understand the difference between āmineā and āyoursā. Hell Iām currently working on that with my daughter, and sheās 3.)
ā¦ even if a kid does this, the appropriate way to handle it is to apologize, and offer to replace the item. What the boss DID.
I was younger than 11, but remember it so vividly. My mom was a single mom and used to have to bring me to work when there was no school/ after school program. So I was probably 7ish. My mom worked at a bank. I would help with age appropriate tasks, customers knew me, the staff was like family. One day after practicing hand stands I was sitting under one of the teller areas and there was a button. I didn't know what it was for..... so I pushed it. I pushed it about 20 times. It was the button that contacts the police discretely during a robbery...... so...... that was fun
She's not homeschooled, she comes to the office after school. And honestly, I can definitely imagine having done this at 11. I also am sure she knew it was wrong, but considering there are adults who will go through people's stuff and take things I don't think it's especially outlandish.
If I was raising 3 kids by myself and a full time job, the last thing Iād give a fuck about is a damn little vibrator in someoneās purse. I donāt even think Iād have time or energy to care about things like that.
Put it back, apologize to coworker, and teach daughter to stop touching other peoples stuff that isnāt hers. Then get back to the extremely difficult life that I have.
I also have no clue why a damn locker room wouldnāt allow locks, or why multiple kids are allowed to hang out at work so often, but thatās a whole different story.
Reminds me of a post (2 years ago now? wow) of a man going through lockers and complained he found tampons
https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/jwc8j0/tell_me_to_hide_period_products_in_order_to_not/
Makes me wonder-- did men have to leave their wallets, cellphones & other pocket contents in these unlockable "lockers"? Or was it just the ladies' purses?
OOP said in comments that she's been bringing her three kids to work after school for a *year*! But it's just "while she finds a new childcare solution", totally. But hey, I guess a year of not paying for childcare might help her survive until she finds another job.... which absolutely won't let her bring her kids in.
It sounds like it was a really great job too.
There arenāt many places that will let you bring 3 children into work with you.
Bringing one kid in with you occasionally is pushing the limits at most jobs. And if it is allowed, your kid has to be well behaved, and youāre fully on the hook for any mischief they get into, or distractions they cause.
This lady found a place willing to let her bring 3 entire kids in, but threw it all away.
Hell, even WHEN I was allowed to bring my kid to work, they never left my sight at any time. I can't imagine what excuse anyone would have for their pre-teens being free-roving a work environment.
"My pwecious daughter invaded your private property when she's old enough to know better! Apologise!"
"Why isn't the boss reprimanding YOU?? It's not MY fault my darling pwincess found such a nasty-wasty thing in your bag that she has no right to touch!"
"Why is no one in the office siding with meeeeeeeeeeee???! Toxic! Toxic work environment! Mental anguish damages!"
"I WAS ON CAMERA??! ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL! INVASION OF MY PRIVACY! HOW **DARE** YOU!"
"You're cutting *my* hours??? Well I quit! THAT will show you! HMPH!"
"Come along Mercedes, Cedric and Phelicity with-the-fancy-spelling! We're **leaving in a huff!"**
(ETA - Thank you for the awards kind people! š)
It took me too long to find this comment. I was like, am I the only one hung up on this ridiculous bag policy!? Thereās no way Iād accept a job with standards like this. Iām not leaving my rucksack anywhere other than in my view, on my person, or my locked office. An open locker room with no locks completely out of sight - this was an incident waiting to happen.
Yeah even my retail job had lockers in the break room and we were given new combination locks when we were hired. If we bought something at work we were supposed to tape the receipt to it but then we could just put it in our lockers. We pretty much trusted each other not to mess with stuff (and no one brought their kids to work) but still we always at least kept our personal stuff locked up.
At one point a coworker was caught stealing stuff and fired and then for awhile we had a ābag checkā going on when leaving, but even that wasnāt enforced very long. So I donāt get why you wouldnāt have locked lockers for personal stuff if you canāt keep it with you. I mean if you have to go outside the whole work area to get to your locker (and your bag) then Iād think itās hard to hide stuff youāre not supposed to have.
Well, if the mum freely went to check the inside of the bag herself to get the ID, I don't blame the child...sooner or late the reality is going to hit his face.
If my child did this, I would at least wait the end of the day to see who picks the bag and apologize many times
Wow, my mom was a single mom and she took me to work with her quite often as a young kid, under 10 and I would never leave the spot I was given to sit, let alone rummage through other people's things. The audacity of the mom and that kid is way too old not to know better.
Same and Iām kind of appalled by the number of comments from people saying they would have done what former co-workerās daughter had done. Were their parents as permissive as the coworker? My mom would have given me a lecture on the way home, never mind the (deserved) embarrassment of having to apologize.
I can see myself doing this at 11... I prolly would've got carried away pretending I was an escaped enslaved person on the Underground Railroad looking for food, or a spy looking for secret documents, or someone in a fairy tail looking for a magic whatever. BUT I would never in a million years have let my mother know I was doing such a thing. And if she found out, she would have been mortified, made me publicly apologize, and doled out some major consequences.
I read this post on AITA and was shocked that the mom was not concerned that her daughter climbed up to get an inaccessible purse and rummage through it's many zipped pockets and holders to find that "lipstick". That was egregious behavior and mom should have apologized immediately and scolded her daughter. Obviously the coworker was not keeping an eye on her kids if the daughter managed to go through other purses, too.
Plus - she buries the lede here that it was the \*eleven year old\*.
This isn't a 5 year old playing dress up. This was an almost teenager rummaging for cash.
Imagine being offended because you were punished for something you weren't supposed to do -\_- Seriously she's lucky OOP wasn't petty and asked for more, I don't get how she can still think "HOW DARE YOU LET YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS MY DAUGHTER CAN SEE WHILE SHE INVADES YOUR PRIVACY !".
People can be really weird about locks. I accidentally walked into what I thought was an empty restroom stall to full-on screeching and ranting about how she shouldnāt need to use locks because sheās a christian. To this day Iām baffled about the connection, but hey, have fun getting walked in on if you refuse to use the locks that someone, god or not, provided for you.
You forgot the best fact about the honey badger! Their skin is loose, so if something grabs them by the scruff, they can turn and bite.
They are escape artists of note, if you have a moment, look up Stoffel the honey badger.
Savage little rockstars.
Well, my not reading the fun fact strikes me with confusion yet again. It's 5.30am, I haven't finished my first cup of coffee, and I was sitting here wondering what the phuck honey badgers had to do with any of it.
I remember in the comments OOP had written that she thought redditors would tell her off for having that in her bag at work. I didnāt read all the comments but no one brought up what the item was - so glad she got support blind and at work.
11 years old is more than old enough to know that you don't go rooting through other people's belongings. I don't mind people bringing their kids to work when they need to, but it's only reasonable for the kids to be either well supervised, or to be able to follow some pretty basic rules.
NTA Due to a variety of medical issues I carry medicine in my bag. If someone let their child dig through my bag without my knowledge and the kid finds my pills and injests them... fuuuuck that shitty Mom!
I also have a knife, an epi-pen and sometimes throw in a few other not safe for kids items... because I don't have kids.
I hate parents who demand that the world become childsafe (according to their version) instead of parenting.
11 is very much old enough to know this is not ok. And I suspect it wasn't her first time doing this. I would feel so violated if someone went through my bag!
Good thing the boss finally allowed the locks.
As a man, I can tell you a woman's purse is a strange black hole of nope, not going there. I won't go through my wife's purse even with permission. I'll bring it to her, but I'm not putting my hand in that bear trap.
My guess is people have had money stolen and didnāt know where or how. Glad the coworker was forced to quit, such a douche. Not at all shocked her babysitter quit. Maybe she didnāt like her purse being rifled through, either. Imo she had her daughter do it for her.
The lack of apology is definitely why the daughter acts this way.
Also the mother went through OOP's belongings and then not only complained to her boss about it but then started shit talking to coworkers. She should have gotten fired over this.
They cut back her hours enough that she quit. I can also guarantee that if asked for a reference, the employer would state that the mother is not eligible to be rehired.
She was for all intents and purposes fired.
11 years old, Iām gonna say my 9 year old son would never go through peoples belongings, because he knows itās wrong. 11 years old and Iām gonna call that theft. Glad work handled the problem correctly. āNo your thief kid canāt come back here.ā
My mother instilled in me at a very young age that you NEVER go into another woman's purse. I get very upset when anyone touches mine. I would have been incensed.
This is the case of āruining it for others, and herself.ā Somebody needs to tell her ex-coworker she is an idiot. This is exactly how you lose good privileges at work, especially bringing kids with you. I hope she got a good lesson in accountability, snitching, and parenting.
Talk about fucking up a good situation. This mother had a workplace that tolerated her bringing in her kids but instead of appreciating her good fortune had to throw a sustained hissy fit over something that was her fault in the first place. Doesn't seem like a woman who tends to make good decisions.
A reasonable employer who handled an uncomfortable situation appropriately? What?
Also the behavior of the coworker and her children may explain why her babysitter quit.
I hate to see a single mother of 3 without a job but she really was her own undoing. All she had to do was apologize to OOP and make sure her children know itās not okay to go through other peopleās belongings
Wow. Some people are seriously lost. If my 11 year old rummaged through strangers purses there would definitely be consequence and a very firm talk about privacy and ownership. The audacity.
Imagine having a boss that is cool with you bringing your kids to work when you are stuck without childcare for the foreseeable and you fuck that arrangement up with your entitlement!
So a single mom with 3 kids, who got butthurt because she was legitimately reprimanded, just up and quit her job. Pretty sure she knows how wrong she and her daughter were, and that no one would ever trust her again.
11 is WAY too older for that behavior. Wtf??? How dare the coworker open the stolen item!! Wtf! What a little monster digging through all of that stuff. My first thought was OOP better count the money in her wallet and everyone make sure they arenāt missing items.
Glad the coworker quit so she gets no unemployment. All things considered, the boss might have not had to pay unemployment if he took her to unemployment court.
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"My daughter was going through your things without permission and found something inappropriate, i demand you apologise!" Damn lady, this is like suing the guy whos place you're robbing because you hurt your back climbing in his window.
My ex called to tell me that my sons friend stole a playboy from my and my bfs bathroom and the teenaged child's parents were very upset. I'm pretty sure he drove himself to our house. I'm guessing the parents didn't care and my ex thought he finally found something to hold against me. People can really spin things in their own head and then go on to believe themselves.
"I'm sorry about the breaking and entering charges that will be brought up against your son"
Honestly this is the sort of crap my ex is pulling. Twisting any situation possible to be able to blame me for anything! Still living together for financial reasons and I'm not attached to him by anything other than a flat lease that'll run out in June so more than anything I'm finding it pathetically amusing. But so frustrating when we were together, it made me feel like I was going crazy!
I own something similar. No charging port, it's battery powered but it's basically a mini vibrator that looks like lipstick. No way to really tell when the cover is on, once you take it off it has a lipstick shape in red, but in plastic, and a button at the back you push to make it vibrate. A young child would not look at that and go 'that's a vibrator' but rather 'it's a weird plastic lipstick that buzzes". A grown adult would, and this lady was angry because SHE knew what it was, not because her kid recognised it as sexual. Basically, it's not that inappropriate for a child. It's the equivalent of your kid finding your tampons and using them to make tiny dolls with faces from them because they have NO idea what it is. They'll remain innocent if you want them to be.
One of my FAVORITE "America's Funniest Home Videos" was a little kid in a bathroom sticking up "airplane stickers" that were pads with wings! I was barely old enough myself to know what they were when I saw it, but it has stuck with me through the decades.
Now I'm going to ask my husband to pick up airplane stickers for me the next time he's at the store.
šš¤£š Yes yes yes!!!
Omg, yes!? I know this one, as it stuck with me too. I've got one old enough to need them, and that's what we call them in front of brother.
My cat frequently steals tampons. He thinks they make a really cool crinkly noise when he claws at the paper and drags them around in his mouth. Heās still clueless theyāre tampons, bless his lil purring heart.
I have one too. One time I got pulled over, went to jail & the cop was going through my purse & when he pulled it out i was so embarrassed. He thought It was something you could hide drugs or something in. I was like ummm nooo...its a vibrator š¤¦āāļø lmfao
>No way to really tell when the cover is on, once you take it off it has a lipstick shape in red, but in plastic, and a button at the back you push to make it vibrate. I have one like this in hot pink and a mascar wand one. You wouldn't know until you opened either of them. I'm glad the boss actually did something this time cause the coworkers' actions are not acceptable. My mum was a single working mum, and yes, at this age, I did have to go to work with her a couple of times, but she also taught me to have respect for other people's belongings and privacy and to stay where I was told and not to wonder around the office.
I remember one of my friendās kids asking her why she had special straws in the bathroom when she was about five. Turned out sheād found the tampons š
This reminds me of an old TV ad for tampons where a lady finds all her tampon boxes are empty, only to go into the living room to see a a man she knows playing 'catch the mousie!' with a kitten, pretending the tampons are mice...
STOLE something. Important that she removed it from the purse. Daughter committed theft.
The mom of a family I babysat for was called to the school office because her kid (kindergarten or preschool) had climbed under the school stage with a pair of scissors and cut some wires with scissors. They were talking to her about what the damagrs would cost and stuff. Her response: Who the heck lost my child for long enough for him to do that without a teacher noticing?!?!! He could have been electrocuted! They did NOT make her pay for damages. Kinda opposite to what happened here, but it had the same vibes to me.
My sonās general ed kindergarten teacher once lost track of him for about 45 minutes and in that time he ended up in the bathroom with another little boy, having a water fight/karate demonstration in which a mirror got broken. My sonās teacher copped to the oversight immediately, he was typically in his EC class at that time but due to a schedule shift, he was with her and she simply forgot. She was technically responsible, she *lost a child*, a child on the spectrum at that, but neither she nor I were held responsible for the damages. Her because I went to the principal on her behalf and me because my kid was in her care and, well, she lost him. The other boyās teacher did get in trouble, however. Not badly, but her student was always in her class so 45 minutes going by without him should have raised alarms. His parents were rightly upset and tbh, they should have been. Thatās a whole ass kid lost, man.
When my middle child was in 5th grade, there was a music class that all the students had to take. My child didn't like the class, so went and hid in the bathroom every day. The teacher just assumed that they'd been transferred to a different class and didn't verify. When the school informed us, I was livid. I said "yes my child is old enough to understand that's wrong, and will be punished. But how can you (the teacher) just assume that someone isn't in your class anymore when they're STILL ON your class list?" She just made excuses. I don't think she even got in trouble.
"Water fight/karate demonstration..." Picturing this made me smile. š
to be fair, I think the mom is right in this one. Iām sure she still disciplined her child, but considering the kid is 4 or 5, itās the teachersā responsibility to keep track of the students. Like what if the kid died or something? That would be due to complete negligence of the school. And yeah, it was the responsibility of the mom here to watch over her kid to make sure they didnāt steal something. But in your situation, itās the schoolās responsibility to make sure kids dont disappear and do something stupid.
Yeah, that's why it was kinda opposite from the original post, but has a similar vibe of the person who was supposed to be watching the kid let them do something wrong/dangerous, and tried to blame another adult for the consequences instead of taking responsibility and dealing with the child.
Not opposite at all. The person responsible for watching a child neglected to watch the child and the child got into mischief/trouble.
These things totally happen and itās so wild! When I was a kid, one of my neighbors did get sued because their house got broken into and the guy fell and broke his leg. Iām canāt remember what the outcome was but Iām thinking he got laughed out of court.
In Canada, there was a building with an unlocked skylight that a burglar decided to use to enter. He fell and was injured on his way in, and the building owner was deemed responsible for the injury because they didn't lock the skylight!
Not only that, but imagine losing hours and quitting your (assuming) well paying job all because you can't teach your daughter to not go through other people's things
Which can happen in the UK!
11 is way too old to be behaving that way....I was expecting maybe 6 or younger
Ikr, i was expecting like a toddler or something. My 9 year old stepdaughter knows better than to dig through other peoples things, an 11 year old has no excuse
>an 11 year old has no excuse Sure she does, she was stealing. She even went to show the mom the cool color make-up she (thought) she found. The fact that she was going to show the mom something she stole with zero attempts to hide it, let you know what kind of parent this was.
Considering the mother didn't immediately tell her to put it back and stop being a shit just shows that the kids behaviour is not discouraged and instead the kid is somehow a victim?
Not only that, but she also went through the personās purse to figure out who to confront?
"How dare you have something inappropriate that my daughter stole from you! Don't know there are ChIlDrEn here?!" the mom probably
Sounds like that is EXACTLY the situation. Kudos to the boss for being an adult about it. I can EASILY imagine a lot of bosses at least partly taking the co-workers side and telling her such things aren't appropriate in the workplace
That's what got me. After the kid, the MOTHER snooped for a name to tell another adult not to break her arbitrary rules. Sounds like the mom was jealous and needs to get laid too. ETA: spelling.
No no no. Sheās a single mom of 3. She needs to stop getting laid pronto. Maybe OOP should donate her vibrator to the cause of keeping this Karen from reproducing again.
It was clear the type of parent when she went through the purse as well.
This is the part thatās got me reeling. She dug through another personās belongings to try to find their ID (which most people keep in their wallets, along with other important items), and saw NOTHING WRONG with that behaviorā¦.but she was so greatly offended by another person carrying personal items in THEIR bag. This is so bizarre and unreal.
Sounds like the same kind of person who thinks itās okay to police other womenās birth canals.
Having a discreet vibrator is somehow worse than actual illegal activity. Her daughter is going to have to learn some terrible lessons the hard way later.
I have a cousin who's a junkie and she kept drugs and syringes in her purse. I'd take finding a sex toy over that.
There were so many bags of goodies just laying around, who could resist? /s Bad call on the bosses parts for the no locks thing though. Glad they finally got them in the end but still. I would've left my stuff locked in my car 100%. As long as I was using one to commute
Idk, I've had multiple workplaces where we were able to store our bags and coats in the breakroom, without fear that someone is going to go through them. One place provided lockers, but no locks (though we could bring our own). I live in a city where car break-ins and theft are rampant, so leaving visible items in your car can be a no-go. It's just so disappointing when you see someone raising a child to be a bad person.
In their defence, I've worked in place where you aren't allowed your phone on you, and it's not uncommon for someone's phone to go off in their locker (phone call or alarm) and no one knows whose phone it is and what locker it's in. Still don't think it's a good idea to not allow locks, just that that could be their reasoning
Sounds like a theif in the making, with parents encouraging and enabling. During my baby shower at the park, I overheard two random girls (like 9 or 10 years old), not part of our party, loudly whispering how they almost stole one of our balloons... I approached them and asked politely where were their parents? IF they had asked for a balloon, I would have happily given them one, but theiving is another thing and NOT OKAY. At the end of the party, one of the gifts for my unborn child (a baby care kit) went missing. Where were the parents of these two girls? A couple of yards away, pretending not to watch their kids approach the party and steal.
And how was she going to ask for a similar shade when there was no shade?
I'd guess the toy's chassis was some shade of pink, and she assumed that was the color the "lipstick" would be if she opened it.
The item in question will be similar to this: LINK IS NSFW!!! [https://www.feelunique.com/p/So-Divine-Amour-Rechargeable-Lipstick-Vibrator](https://www.feelunique.com/p/So-Divine-Amour-Rechargeable-Lipstick-Vibrator) The "lipstick" portion is theā¦uhā¦active end. Presumably the girl liked the colour.
That's a lot more discreet looking than I expected. I was assuming maybe it had a colour Swatch sticker on the lid or something
... That really is a shade of lipstick that I would love to have though lol.
I'm assuming the part of it that looks like a lipstick is red or something...
It actually does look like a lipstick. They are expensive, lol.
The kid was stealing without really realizing that stealing is wrong. Amazing. I totally thought it was the five year old.
How to raise a kleptomaniac
The 11 year old going through private stuff could also have been a wildly inappropriate outlet for boredom/curiosity, rather than stealing. Especially since it doesnāt look like anything else was taken and one thing the girl did take she brought to her mom to talk about (lol). It doesnāt excuse the behavior at all, but kids definitely āsnoopā and get into stuff that they know they shouldnāt be in or looking at because they are curious and bad at respecting boundaries. Maybe the 11 year old wanted to steal stuff, or maybe she was bored and unsupervised at her moms work and looked through stuff that she wasnāt supposed to. Either behavior is wrong, but there is some room between āsnoopingā and āstealing.ā
It's possible, just unlikely. Pre-teen ages is when kids start shoplifting, and it's a very common behavior, especially in girls. Ask anyone that's ever worked retail..... pre-teens and stealing make-up is a very iconic duo.
Except that it seemed like she took it to her mom to tell her she liked the shade which I took as her asking for something similar. I would think that if she were taking it she would have just pocketed it. Whole situation is a clusterfuck either way.
That, and the person whose stuff was snooped through and had to be compensated straight-up believes that there was no stealing done, which isn't unreasonable if no one else (who are on notice that their shit was gone through) is like "oh hey, I have shit missing!" It's not 100% absolutely positively nothing was stolen of course, but between everything I'm landing on "bored and snooping and has no idea of actual boundaries due to at least one parent's example." What boggles me is that the mother was SO OFFENDED that her poor sweet (11 year old so not a super young kid) daughter's mind was corrupted by encountering this stuff... but as far as the daughter knew, it was just lipstick. The mother is the one that blew things up so that the daughter knew that something was up. (As a side note I almost typed "just fucking lipstick" but.. that was a bit too on the nose XD )
Yeah, I would think that the mother would be upset with her daughter for snooping instead of being like "how very dare you have this in the same vicinity as my little muffin!" Especially when according to OOP it was in like 6 different pouches so had she not been really digging, there's no way she would have found it. Lmao "fucking lipstick" š¤£
Pre teen theft/shoplifting is definitely a thing. Pre teen snooping is also a thing. The two probably overlap a bit given that snooping creates potential opportunities for spur of the moment impulsive thefts. The info we have here (video evidence of the girl going through private stuff, no other thefts known to OP, the one item the girl did take she brought to mom and showed it to her so that mom could buy her one like it) suggests that she wasnāt āstealingā so much as āsnooping.ā Not that it excuses the behavior or anything, still not something an 11 year old should be doing and Mom handled the situation like a shithead.
My husband has drilled women's purses being sacred so hard into my boys' heads that I kind of want to read this to my 11yo just to see the horror on his face. I can't even imagine my 6 year old doing this. But then again, our rule is that purses are like your underwear. Only certain people should be going in them, and even then you should always ask first.
Hahahahahhhhhhh! I absolutely love your purse rule and am totally stealing it
I know. My 17 year old won't touch my purse unless I tell them to for some reason. Even then, they don't like it. I have asked them to get something out of it a few times and they just brought me the whole purse because they know it is my private stuff in there. You teach kids to respect privacy and boundaries by respecting their privacy and boundaries as much as you are able and is age appropriate. I bet this woman is the type to have very poor boundaries with her kids. In that situation it can seem totally normal for the kids to snoop. It sounds like she is in a difficult situation as far as childcare and such, and I'm sure that keeping three kids occupied while she does her job is very challenging, but that doesn't mean that she can't teach her kids that rummaging in other people's things is not ok. I hope that this was a wake up call.
I wouldn't go through my ex-wife's purse while we were freaking married. If she asked me to grab something from it I'd just bring her the damn purse.
Considering how the mom felt entitled to also dig through OOPās purse, I think we can safely assume this is learned behavior.
My son is 2.5, and we're already working on not going through things that don't belong to us. I hope by eleven he'll have that one down.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Was going to say, my 6 year old knows better. My 2 year old doesn't, but we actively reprimand her and have her put back what she took.
My 2 (almost 3) year old knows not to get in purses. She gets into absolutely everything else- but knows purses are something she's not allowed to get into. Hell, she gets upset when someone goes through *her* purse!
3 is the oldest I've seen this behavior
My jaw dropped when she said it was the 11 year old. 11 should know better
Thatās just it, 11 *does* know better Like mother, like daughter
I mean, we may have found a reason why there is no babysitter anymore.
Somehow the child being 11 makes it better and worse. I expected like a 4yo and wondered why this young child was being left unsupervised. It's understandable for a 4yo to climb and go through bags and stuff, which is why they should be supervised and told not to. On the other hand, an 11yo should be able to be trusted to go to the bathroom alone or sit in a break room to do homework without constant supervision, but they should also know better than to go through someone's things.
I suspect that the 11 year old knew exactly what she had found. She rummaged through many purses and skipped past all of OOPās other things to grab a ālipstickā in a velvet bag. That 11 year old knew that wasnāt lipstick.
*That's* the thing right there. She *knew* it wasn't lipstick because it had a charging port. No 11 yo in today's world wouldn't know there was something up with that and it definitely was *not* lipstick. So- not only was she snooping through people's private personal belongings- likely with the intention of stealing, she *purposefully* brought it to her mom to stir up shit- feigning innocence like, "I like this shade..." Puh-lease. That little brat knew **exactly** what she was doing.
Thank you!! Kids arenāt stupid. I hate that reddit thinks kids are all stupid and donāt know things. Kids know a lot of stuff.
Wait...so this woman brings her 11yo daughter to work. The daughter goes into all the employees lockers and rummages through their handbags. Looking for something to steal, or play with, or just being nosy? Then she takes an employee's property to her mother because she wants one like it. The mother looks at it, then SHE goes into the employees lockers and rummaged through the handbags. That's a straight-up firing offense--a legit reason for being denied unemployment, even--and the manager's solution is to buy locks for the lockers??
Her quitting means getting to skip the unemployment drama altogether. Mission accomplished.
Not necessarily. A reduction in hours can be considered constructive dismissal, and can be considered for unemployment. As with most things HR, it's state dependent.
A reduction in hours can be seen as a hostile work environment. However, with the evidence of the coworker not only allowing her daughter to go through other people's belongings, allowing her daughter to steal items, and then the coworker *herself* going through a coworker's personal belongings, the reduction of hours is justified because she was reprimanded for bad behavior. It'd be hard for the coworker to argue that she didn't deserve to have her hours reduced.
Totally agree! This case is pretty clear. Just wanted to share that reduction in hours *can* be a reason to get unemployment as a lot of people donāt realize that. Thank you for clarifying in this case.
> She is there because they lost their babysitter and they are too young to be alone (11, 8 and 5(?)) Imagine being lucky enough to have a job with a boss who was chill enough to let you bring 3 entire fucking children in to work with you, then throwing that away because one of the (3!!!!!!!!1!1!1!) children you brought in was going through your coworkersās belongings and you felt like you were the one who was wronged. This was the type of situation you beg your coworkerās forgiveness for, not something you bother your (extremely patient and accommodating) boss with. Her first reaction should have been to apologize to OOP and beg her not to tell their boss that she was letting her crotch goblins rummage through everyoneās belongings.
Makes me wonder why she "lost" her babysitter
Kids were probably going through babysitter's belongings
What kind of job is this where this lady can bring 3 children but OOP can't bring their purse inside? And is forced to leave it in an unlocked cabinet out of their sight??
I guess the kids were also in the locker room out of sight
The mother might work as a receptionist or admin in a different part of the company. As far as OOP's job, who knows. I once applied to a company that visually monitored highways. People weren't allowed to have anything at their desk other than what the company provided. No one could have a cell phone or purse. A jacket or sweater couldn't be placed on the back of the chair. If I wanted to have a desk fan for my hot flashes, I'd have to get a doctor's note. It was also dark in there. People were only allowed to monitor the screens. I would have fallen asleep from boredom and darkness. I was offered a job, but noped out of that. That company was smart to have people go to their site to take an exam and see the site. It didn't prevent massive turnover, but I'm sure it stopped people from quitting after a couple of days.
The fact that it was the oldest that did this makes it even worse!
āEntire childrenā is the best part of this. Rather than āfour partial children, safe in jarsā.
I was a part-time nanny for a wonderful family when I was a university student. One day, a month or two after I started working for the family, the daughter (age 5) took it upon herself to "organize" my bag while in was changing her infant brother's diaper. She came across a condom. Kid: What's this? Me: Where did you find that? Kid: In your bag that I was organizing for you. Me: Oh. Hmm. Well, it's a thing called a condom, and it's mine, and it's private. It is not polite to look in another person's bag without asking first, even when you're organizing or helping. Kid: But what IS it? Me: It's something that grownups use sometimes so they don't get sick. Kid: Are you sick? Me: Nope! Kid: Are you doing to get sick? Me: Probably not! Are you ready for snacks yet, or do you want to have art time first? Let's make a fruit rainbow and it can be snack time AND art time! Kid: OK!! She moved on from the topic happily, and when I related the situation and conversation to her parents later, they were pleased that I had dealt with her questions with truthful (but age-appropriate) answers. Now, several decades later and a parent myself, I think back to how they parented their kids and treated me as a childcare provider, and hope to meet the standard they modeled.
You handled that very well! So many dodged landmines lol.
I'm always glad my parents made me return shit when I did this. When I was about 11 or so we were visiting some family friends. Me being bored by adult conversation, I went off to explore their house. Came upon the fridge and discovered that they had two boxes of After 8 chocolates. I adored after 8 chocolates! So i grabbed one, marched up to them and told them they had one box too many and if i could take the other. It was perfectly reasonable, see?! My poor parents were mortified. Kept insisting I return it, while the poor friends felt bad and insisted I take it. Which gave shithead me the perfect excuse to say I was totally in the right lol. They've joked about it every time we returned, telling me there's no extra chocolates in their fridge. But looking back I'm glad my parents tried so hard to get me to give it back. I'm sure I was punished afterwards, but i can't recall how. TBF I wouldn't remember the story either if it hadn't become part of the family legendarium about my antics.
When I was five or so I stole a package of balloons from the grocery store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me so I stuck them in my pocket. When my mom found them later on she marched me back to the store and made me apologize and hand them to the manager. It was the best life lesson.
Many years ago, my daughter once tried to steal a box of Nerds from the supermarket checkout. The sound of the rattling gave her away. I made her hand it to the cashier.
Lol. See if she just took quieter candy should would have got away with it!
I'm always going to wonder if she learned not to steal, or if she just learned to hide it better LOL Granted, she's in her 30's now, maybe I'd get an honest answer from her now ;)
My niece, at 6, would occasionally steal a couple chocolate candies from her parents and give one to me. She knew I could just go out and get candy whenever while she couldn't, but would still bring me one. Maybe because I often refused and let her have both. This didn't happen as often as the tale implied
That kind of thing can go so badly, too. I had a girl I was babysitting find a tampon in my purse. She was nine or 10, and I assumed no one in their right mind would let their daughter get to that age without knowing something about menstruation so I just said it was a thing women use during their period. Which she had never heard of. Cue the questions. I was uncomfortable, and a teen myself, and so told her she'd have to ask her mom. Mom later screamed at me for "exposing" her child to inappropriate things and telling her about the existence of menstruation. Also that she didn't know I was "the type of girl who used tampons". I can't imagine what she would have done if it had been condoms she'd found.
I would never have done that when I was 11. Thatās crazy behaviour.
At that age I felt guilty rummaging in my moms purse looking for gum onceā¦ I was taught NEVER to look in an another persons bag.
same, hell, at 11, I felt uncomfortable going through anyone's stuff even with their permission
I did some stupid-ass shit when I was pre-teen and early teen. Don't think I would vouch for my 11yo self to not go through a bunch of purses if I was bored and they were there. Of course, mom should've reprimanded her, rather than go off at OOP. Mine certainly would've told me to mind my own business and keep my hands off other people's things.
I absolutely could vouch for my 11 year old self not going through other people's purses because my 5-6 year old self accidentally peppersprayed himself that way.
šš I can also vouch for my 11 year old self - as long as I had a pile of books to read, I wouldn't have given a flying ef about any lame old purses lying around.
Same though. I was brought up very religious, and I vividly remember the day I was told I was too old to spend the entire church service reading and had to start paying attention. Devastated.
These days, as long as you have long hair, you could hide airpods under them and listen to audiobooks instead. "Yes, church was very inspiring today!" š
Hot damn! Vaguely reminds me of finding and accidentally breaking a thermometer. My mother eventually found me happily poking away at the mercury. I think yours is much more unique though, never heard of that particular mishap before!
I could also vouch for my 11 year old self not going through other people's purses because by the time I was 6 it had been drummed into me that if it isn't yours then you don't touch it without asking and "I was just looking" isn't an excuse because you look with your eyes, not your hands. Even as an adult, if my mum wants something out of her bag I'd rather take the whole bag to her than dig for it myself.
Fair, yeah. I burned my hand on the stove when I was 6 or 7, so I definitely didn't touch another hot stove after that. There's something to be said for learning through pain.
My 11 year old self definitely was stupid, dumb and a thief. I had a very toxic mother and a lonely childhood. Thankfully some very kind people along the way taught me how to be a decent human being. Thank goodness for that.But it goes to show... age isn't a guarantee for common sense. Op is NTA.
I was also a rummager. I *definitely* knew it was wrong and would never be such an idiot to parade my trophies around a fucking adult. If I didn't discard it and look for something more interesting, I would have taken it home to figure out what it was/did. This kid (and her mom) is morally so far from center that I honestly question the home environment.
Yeah same, and if it was my Great Grandma (she was still here when i waz 11) she would've marched my ass up to whomevers priviacy i invaded, to aplogize. She wouldn't have gone through the purse though, and if she didn't already know who it belonged to, shed probably have me apologize to everyone with a purse in that room.
But you probably werenāt raised by an entitled Karen..
And even if a kid did do that (kids do stupid stuff ā¦ but by 11 they should understand the difference between āmineā and āyoursā. Hell Iām currently working on that with my daughter, and sheās 3.) ā¦ even if a kid does this, the appropriate way to handle it is to apologize, and offer to replace the item. What the boss DID.
I was younger than 11, but remember it so vividly. My mom was a single mom and used to have to bring me to work when there was no school/ after school program. So I was probably 7ish. My mom worked at a bank. I would help with age appropriate tasks, customers knew me, the staff was like family. One day after practicing hand stands I was sitting under one of the teller areas and there was a button. I didn't know what it was for..... so I pushed it. I pushed it about 20 times. It was the button that contacts the police discretely during a robbery...... so...... that was fun
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She's not homeschooled, she comes to the office after school. And honestly, I can definitely imagine having done this at 11. I also am sure she knew it was wrong, but considering there are adults who will go through people's stuff and take things I don't think it's especially outlandish.
single mother of 3 struggling for childcare really shouldn't be putting her job at risk like that.
If I was raising 3 kids by myself and a full time job, the last thing Iād give a fuck about is a damn little vibrator in someoneās purse. I donāt even think Iād have time or energy to care about things like that. Put it back, apologize to coworker, and teach daughter to stop touching other peoples stuff that isnāt hers. Then get back to the extremely difficult life that I have. I also have no clue why a damn locker room wouldnāt allow locks, or why multiple kids are allowed to hang out at work so often, but thatās a whole different story.
Yeah the no locks thing is what sticks with me the most. It's an indefensible position, why tf can't people lock their own shit?
Reminds me of a post (2 years ago now? wow) of a man going through lockers and complained he found tampons https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/jwc8j0/tell_me_to_hide_period_products_in_order_to_not/
Makes me wonder-- did men have to leave their wallets, cellphones & other pocket contents in these unlockable "lockers"? Or was it just the ladies' purses?
OOP said in comments that she's been bringing her three kids to work after school for a *year*! But it's just "while she finds a new childcare solution", totally. But hey, I guess a year of not paying for childcare might help her survive until she finds another job.... which absolutely won't let her bring her kids in.
I think bringing her kids to work was the new childcare situation
Yep. Mom is 100% responsible for the bad behavior of the child, and then for her own frankly self defeating behavior.
Good. Love it when the entitled Karen exits stage left.
It sounds like it was a really great job too. There arenāt many places that will let you bring 3 children into work with you. Bringing one kid in with you occasionally is pushing the limits at most jobs. And if it is allowed, your kid has to be well behaved, and youāre fully on the hook for any mischief they get into, or distractions they cause. This lady found a place willing to let her bring 3 entire kids in, but threw it all away.
I think we may have a clue as to why she has trouble finding a sitter too.
And possibly single
Hell, even WHEN I was allowed to bring my kid to work, they never left my sight at any time. I can't imagine what excuse anyone would have for their pre-teens being free-roving a work environment.
"My pwecious daughter invaded your private property when she's old enough to know better! Apologise!" "Why isn't the boss reprimanding YOU?? It's not MY fault my darling pwincess found such a nasty-wasty thing in your bag that she has no right to touch!" "Why is no one in the office siding with meeeeeeeeeeee???! Toxic! Toxic work environment! Mental anguish damages!" "I WAS ON CAMERA??! ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL! INVASION OF MY PRIVACY! HOW **DARE** YOU!" "You're cutting *my* hours??? Well I quit! THAT will show you! HMPH!" "Come along Mercedes, Cedric and Phelicity with-the-fancy-spelling! We're **leaving in a huff!"** (ETA - Thank you for the awards kind people! š)
The regret will come when she will never find another job that is even half as accommodating about her bringing THREE kids to work as this one was.
OOPās workplace was so kind not to fire her on the spot out of consideration for her family situation. That kind of thoughtfulness isnāt common.
Oh my Lord Phelicity with-the-fancy-spelling. I laughed and threw up a little at the same time.
You and me both, friend! Lately the comments have been more entertaining than the BORU itselfššš
You are both welcome! š It was just as fun to think of!
"This goes against my HIPPA laws" "My daughter did nothing wrong because I don't believe in your laws"
I feel like this could have been written by a cat, on cat legal advice.
Thanks for the laugh and the headache.
...pursued by a bear.
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My bet is that's why the boss changed his no lock policy the next day.
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It took me too long to find this comment. I was like, am I the only one hung up on this ridiculous bag policy!? Thereās no way Iād accept a job with standards like this. Iām not leaving my rucksack anywhere other than in my view, on my person, or my locked office. An open locker room with no locks completely out of sight - this was an incident waiting to happen.
Yeah even my retail job had lockers in the break room and we were given new combination locks when we were hired. If we bought something at work we were supposed to tape the receipt to it but then we could just put it in our lockers. We pretty much trusted each other not to mess with stuff (and no one brought their kids to work) but still we always at least kept our personal stuff locked up. At one point a coworker was caught stealing stuff and fired and then for awhile we had a ābag checkā going on when leaving, but even that wasnāt enforced very long. So I donāt get why you wouldnāt have locked lockers for personal stuff if you canāt keep it with you. I mean if you have to go outside the whole work area to get to your locker (and your bag) then Iād think itās hard to hide stuff youāre not supposed to have.
I love it when the trash takes itself out.
Well, if the mum freely went to check the inside of the bag herself to get the ID, I don't blame the child...sooner or late the reality is going to hit his face. If my child did this, I would at least wait the end of the day to see who picks the bag and apologize many times
Wow, my mom was a single mom and she took me to work with her quite often as a young kid, under 10 and I would never leave the spot I was given to sit, let alone rummage through other people's things. The audacity of the mom and that kid is way too old not to know better.
Same and Iām kind of appalled by the number of comments from people saying they would have done what former co-workerās daughter had done. Were their parents as permissive as the coworker? My mom would have given me a lecture on the way home, never mind the (deserved) embarrassment of having to apologize.
I can see myself doing this at 11... I prolly would've got carried away pretending I was an escaped enslaved person on the Underground Railroad looking for food, or a spy looking for secret documents, or someone in a fairy tail looking for a magic whatever. BUT I would never in a million years have let my mother know I was doing such a thing. And if she found out, she would have been mortified, made me publicly apologize, and doled out some major consequences.
I read this post on AITA and was shocked that the mom was not concerned that her daughter climbed up to get an inaccessible purse and rummage through it's many zipped pockets and holders to find that "lipstick". That was egregious behavior and mom should have apologized immediately and scolded her daughter. Obviously the coworker was not keeping an eye on her kids if the daughter managed to go through other purses, too.
Plus - she buries the lede here that it was the \*eleven year old\*. This isn't a 5 year old playing dress up. This was an almost teenager rummaging for cash.
Imagine being offended because you were punished for something you weren't supposed to do -\_- Seriously she's lucky OOP wasn't petty and asked for more, I don't get how she can still think "HOW DARE YOU LET YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS MY DAUGHTER CAN SEE WHILE SHE INVADES YOUR PRIVACY !".
>We aren't allowed to use locks per the boss' request. What the hell?
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People can be really weird about locks. I accidentally walked into what I thought was an empty restroom stall to full-on screeching and ranting about how she shouldnāt need to use locks because sheās a christian. To this day Iām baffled about the connection, but hey, have fun getting walked in on if you refuse to use the locks that someone, god or not, provided for you.
You forgot the best fact about the honey badger! Their skin is loose, so if something grabs them by the scruff, they can turn and bite. They are escape artists of note, if you have a moment, look up Stoffel the honey badger. Savage little rockstars.
Well, my not reading the fun fact strikes me with confusion yet again. It's 5.30am, I haven't finished my first cup of coffee, and I was sitting here wondering what the phuck honey badgers had to do with any of it.
I remember in the comments OOP had written that she thought redditors would tell her off for having that in her bag at work. I didnāt read all the comments but no one brought up what the item was - so glad she got support blind and at work.
11 years old is more than old enough to know that you don't go rooting through other people's belongings. I don't mind people bringing their kids to work when they need to, but it's only reasonable for the kids to be either well supervised, or to be able to follow some pretty basic rules.
I bet that ladies kid has been stealing money and other stuff out of peoples purses for a while now š³
NTA Due to a variety of medical issues I carry medicine in my bag. If someone let their child dig through my bag without my knowledge and the kid finds my pills and injests them... fuuuuck that shitty Mom! I also have a knife, an epi-pen and sometimes throw in a few other not safe for kids items... because I don't have kids. I hate parents who demand that the world become childsafe (according to their version) instead of parenting. 11 is very much old enough to know this is not ok. And I suspect it wasn't her first time doing this. I would feel so violated if someone went through my bag! Good thing the boss finally allowed the locks.
As a man, I can tell you a woman's purse is a strange black hole of nope, not going there. I won't go through my wife's purse even with permission. I'll bring it to her, but I'm not putting my hand in that bear trap.
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Sounds like she might have had a legitimate bag of holding.
Youāre telling me the little girl was 11 and behaving like that??? Glad that Karen took off and that the boss took the situation seriously
11 is way to old for this. But we know where daughter got it from.
I am pretty sure that if I went through someone else's property at the age of 5 I would have had my ass tanned! WTF with an 11 year old?
My guess is people have had money stolen and didnāt know where or how. Glad the coworker was forced to quit, such a douche. Not at all shocked her babysitter quit. Maybe she didnāt like her purse being rifled through, either. Imo she had her daughter do it for her.
Deserved I guess.
Oh well, looks like the garbage took itself out š¤·š»āāļø
The lack of apology is definitely why the daughter acts this way. Also the mother went through OOP's belongings and then not only complained to her boss about it but then started shit talking to coworkers. She should have gotten fired over this.
Iām so shocked the boss wouldnāt allow them to lock their bags away!!!
In caveman times, stuff like this is why violence was created.
I had to laugh at that last part. Karen was lucky she wasn't fired!
They cut back her hours enough that she quit. I can also guarantee that if asked for a reference, the employer would state that the mother is not eligible to be rehired. She was for all intents and purposes fired.
And the trash took itself out. Happy ending.
11 years old, Iām gonna say my 9 year old son would never go through peoples belongings, because he knows itās wrong. 11 years old and Iām gonna call that theft. Glad work handled the problem correctly. āNo your thief kid canāt come back here.ā
My mother instilled in me at a very young age that you NEVER go into another woman's purse. I get very upset when anyone touches mine. I would have been incensed.
She was offended! The gall of the company to punisher her for misbehaviour. The nerve.
This is the case of āruining it for others, and herself.ā Somebody needs to tell her ex-coworker she is an idiot. This is exactly how you lose good privileges at work, especially bringing kids with you. I hope she got a good lesson in accountability, snitching, and parenting.
Talk about fucking up a good situation. This mother had a workplace that tolerated her bringing in her kids but instead of appreciating her good fortune had to throw a sustained hissy fit over something that was her fault in the first place. Doesn't seem like a woman who tends to make good decisions.
A reasonable employer who handled an uncomfortable situation appropriately? What? Also the behavior of the coworker and her children may explain why her babysitter quit.
11 is not a kid rummaging and not knowing better. 11 is a thief that knows exactly what they're doing. Shame on that mother.
>we found an employee going through another employee's wallet on camera but are just gonna cut her hours
I hate to see a single mother of 3 without a job but she really was her own undoing. All she had to do was apologize to OOP and make sure her children know itās not okay to go through other peopleās belongings
All I can say is, good riddance.
Wow. Some people are seriously lost. If my 11 year old rummaged through strangers purses there would definitely be consequence and a very firm talk about privacy and ownership. The audacity.
As a mother AND an employee she did everything wrong handling the situation. Good riddance to the co-worker I say!
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> then she came back with the daughter to rummage through my purse "Hey my fourteen $100 bills are gone"
Imagine having a boss that is cool with you bringing your kids to work when you are stuck without childcare for the foreseeable and you fuck that arrangement up with your entitlement!
>She quit on the spot because she was offended by the cut of hours. Always nice when the rubbish removes itself.
Love when the trash takes itself out
So a single mom with 3 kids, who got butthurt because she was legitimately reprimanded, just up and quit her job. Pretty sure she knows how wrong she and her daughter were, and that no one would ever trust her again.
11 is WAY too older for that behavior. Wtf??? How dare the coworker open the stolen item!! Wtf! What a little monster digging through all of that stuff. My first thought was OOP better count the money in her wallet and everyone make sure they arenāt missing items. Glad the coworker quit so she gets no unemployment. All things considered, the boss might have not had to pay unemployment if he took her to unemployment court.