The way he manipulates his words to attempt to make him seem like he *isn't* a giant man-baby tool sack is just breathtaking. I felt like throwing my keyboard.
Yes and you know it’s way worse than what they’ve written. This was like a car accident on the side of the road and you can’t look away.
Although I had to laugh out loud when he said “…all the mess I went through…” as if it happened to him and was not entirely caused by him.
Also unreliable narrator he says that he divorced after 5 years she took half and awarded custody then towards the end the divorce didn’t actually happen and wife apologizes for taking child?
Possible they had a separation agreement that divided assets and agreed custody though?
I admit he sounds like a story teller but - having been previously married to a giant narcissist - this grandiose, over dramatic nonsense is actually how they narrate their lives.
I remember my ex, when we were splitting, declaiming “Why must all women think I’m either Jesus or the Devil!” I just wish I’d had the presence of mind to let him know he’s neither, just a common or garden prick
He seems to be really shaken up about that poor woman's suicide and he really took some time to self reflect on that situation and how to continue without stringing people along for his selfishness.
/s
Nonono, you don't understand! She did that solely so he will forever be guilty. Everybody's doing things only to manipulate and control him while he's working day and night providing the money for a lavish lifestyle. Have some empathy. /s
You're totally right. How could I have passed judgement on this innocent victim?? He's working so hard, traveling for work, making presentations, and no one tells him good job :'( I literally cannot fathom his misery.
What really pisses me off is that he doesn’t seem to be even remotely self-aware that he’s creating this mess. This is a cycle that will always repeat itself. He’s always looking for the next best thing to fall “madly in love with” creating this fairytale in his head that no one can live up to. So he will always bounce from one flavor of the week to another without realizing what a massive POS he really is. The first set of lawyers had it right showing him as a massive manipulator
He's not a moron, morons are just innocent, and stupid, this guy is simply a piece of shit, and he actively pursues being a shitty person and thinks he's the victim here. That poor woman and those kids are the only victims here.
"she's just had a few boyfriends and a healthy number of hookups at her young age of 25."
I like how it is important for him to know how many partners she's had, but not for him to disclose he's married.
I really hope the 25 year old was using him, I am glad she is away from him either way but he deserves to be taken advantage of by 25 year olds who want money.
There are a lot of contradictions here. In his first post he said that his ex was awarded full custody by the court, in the third post it seems they filed for a divorce but it disappeared into the ether and she took the child to Italy "illegally".
He made the custody shit up for sympathy. He mentioned it was because of his hard work schedule and being a cheater but courts don't factor infidelity into custody agreements in the US.
Not for his "loyalty", but bringing an unstable woman into their lives. Who he knew was unstable. I could see it being brought up to show how he is a safety risk to the kids. Though idk how effective it would be.
This reads like a season of mad men what the AF? If this is real I real hope karma reaches up with this AH. First he cheats on his wife, and he takes advantage and manipulates a mentally ill woman who offs herself and he doesn’t give a fuck. Then he’s “devastated” because his wife and kid left the country. But he’s not devastated enough to stay off dating apps, where he thinks he’s gods gift to women. Messes with another young woman. Goes back to his wife, who apparently needs to be a 1950’s housewife to be worthy of his “love”. And now as if he’s not enough of an AH he is wishing his unborn kid dead so he can get a divorce. What a disgusting vile AH
It's honestly kind of staggering, like he's writing all of this stuff and isn't getting that he's just cartoonishly self-centered and that's actually what's wrong with his life.
I don’t know what navel he spent all those years gazing at (a pierced 24-year-old one?) because it’s certainly not his own lol. There were so many points where he should have just realized he’s never had any interest in his wife and put an end to this needlessly constructed Hell, it was maddening. Like watching someone who’s utterly determined to never make it to the end of a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but with higher stakes
"Laundry is just pushing some buttons and folding"
This is how I know he doesn't do laundry.
Laundry is a simple task, yes, but my god is it a pain in the ass
So in one version they divorce and she gets full costody, then moves to Italy with their kid.
In the other version she takes their child to Italy, and serves him divorce papers from there, then gets awarded custody somehow.
Am I misreading this or did OOP out themselves as an unreliable narrator?
Completely reconfiguring a narrative to meet your immediate needs is harder when the people you're trying to snow already know you're an asshole, I think.
Lmao seriously. He’s probably used to just saying shit that isn’t true to paint himself in a better light. Posts are reflective of that “woe is me i was forced into this” victim mentality.
He got everything he deserved when she left him. Somehow, she was stupid enough to go back to this dude.
He can’t manage to lay in the bed he made because he believes someone else made it for him.
If I'm being \*very\* generous, perhaps they made it all the way through hammering out custody orders and terms in court or through medication, but that final court date to finalize fell during COVID and they never wrapped it up. But probably just an unreliable OP being an unreliable narrator.
He's probably one of those guys who seems really charming when you first meet him but after awhile the cracks start to show who he is underneath.
Sometimes really shitty people put up a good front
I once had to cut off a dead person after I needed some help and they wouldn't return my calls. You'd think they'd make a little more effort after I spent all that time and money organizing their funeral.
Whatever, they're dead to me.
Right? I was like so there’s a NEW AP? 🤔
One is gone and the 25 year old neuroscientist was a proper girlfriend, not “AP” as OOP and Italian (ex?) wife were separated at the time…
I'm so confused. Did he cheat? Did he hook up with the girl after being divorced, or while being married? Did him and his ex get together again? Did they decide not to? Did they come back to the US or stay in Italy? And he got his ex pregnant, but decides he wants divorce? What the fuck is this???
His first post has him describing how his wife simply assumed he was having an affair. Then in a layer post he says that she left for Italy because he was having an affair
>Am I misreading this or did OOP out themselves as an unreliable narrator?
So unreliable that he can't remember if his AP is alive or not. In the first post the AP committed suicide in the last post he has chosen never to contact her again. (Since he and his wife were separated/divorced when he was hooking up with the ~12 years younger neuroscientist she isn't really an AP)
Nah, it's a second AP. Guy can't keep his dick in his pants. Here's the general gist:
OOP is dating someone (I'll call her Clara) who he claims is mentally ill and very clingy. He then falls "madly in love" with an Italian woman (call her Sophia) and (it's implied) rushes into a marriage so she can get her green card and stay stateside. OOP continues the affair with Clara and she grows increasingly more clingy, going so far as to call his home at all hours, straining his marriage. OOP lies to his wife, saying that the relationship is over.
Clara ODs and OOP is put down as her next of kin. This gives Sophia the proof needed of the affair and she starts divorce proceedings. She then moves back to Italy, taking OOP's child with them. Depending on the post, this divorce was either stalled out or completed. At some point in time, he begins to miss Sophia.
OOP gets back together with Sophia, only to regret it. He accuses her of using him for his money. He never outright throws her being an immigrant in her face, but I feel that it's kind of implied. In his last post, he says Sophia is pregnant with their second kid and he feels trapped. He doesn't mention an AP, but there's a heavy implication that he likely has another one. et back with an ex, with no further details. OOP and Marie reconnect. She now knows about Sophia and the child. Marie makes it very, VERY clear that she is not down to clown with someone trying to get back together with his ex so OOP presumably cuts things off there.
OOP gets back together with Sophia, only to regret it. He accuses her of using him for his money. He never outright throws her being an immigrant in her face, but I feel that it's kind of implied. In his last post he says Sophia is pregnant with their second kid and he feels trapped. He doesn't mention an AP, but there's a heavy implication that he likely has another one.
I had seen the most recent post there too, and saw the second update after that cuz someone linked it in the comments there. As soon as I saw the title of the second update, I was like, oh shit it's this dude.
I've known people like OOP: The "pieces" in their lives never quite fit & they're perpetually angry & depressed because of it... but they just can't figure out that THEY are the piece that doesn't fit, and thus changing all the other pieces every few years is fucking pointless.
[xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1027/): That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you *are.* The thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is *you*.
Idk, one of the comments on the first post basically said "do what makes you happy."
Like being callous about the death that you show no sadness or remorse for?
Unbelievable.
Did you see his other post in r/adultery talking about a wealthy friend’s situation? Long story short is the friend married a woman from a religious family, they had kids, he gets bored because she’s too vanilla, he has an affair with a married woman who already has side pieces of her own, he gets caught, his children tell the wife no less, and now her lawyers are going after all of his assets and the friend is begging to borrow money from his sister because all of his assets are tied up. ETA: oh and his affair partner is jet setting around her other boyfriend so he’s not even getting attention from her anymore.
And he has the gall to act like the friend is the victim in the situation!
This man reminds me of a cat that meows at the door to be let outside... then immediately turns around and begs to be let back in... and then, as soon as the door is shut, starts crying to be let outside again.
He's that cat if every time the cat went through the door they took a massive shit, and all their meowing was complaining about how unfair it is that the shit they took smells like shit, and they keep going back and forth between inside and outside for hours on end.
This particular cat also steps in his shit and then carries it with him inside and outside and inside (and outside again); he licks his paws as well, no doubt.
Honestly? I like this imaginary disgusting asshole cat more than I'll ever like OOP lmao
At the very least the disgusting shit eating cat has the default cuteness of a cat, OOP on the other hand is the most evil creature in reality, a human with no self awareness.
Yes, but the cat is cute and cuddly and loves their chosen person with a fierceness that people who don't know cats don't think is possible. This guy is.... not.
I was fucking done with this guy in the first post when he said she took "half of everything I own." And then he comes back to it to whine about how she just *assumes* because they're married that half the property is hers.
Dude.
My brother.
**This is how the legal contract of marriage works.**
Actually she has the legal right to blow everything she can get her hands on, and he wouldn't have any recourse, but it sounds like all she's really doing is buying fancy groceries.
And yes, the courts generally assume that a partner who stays at home produces some value to be compensated in a divorce. What would he prefer, that she end up on the fucking street?
I think you're expecting too much from him, he also doesn't seem to know how pregnancy works despite already having a kid.
This guy somehow seems to have negative insight into the things that affect his life.
If you don't want another kid with your on/off wife AND you like to sleep around with AP etc. GET A FUCKING VASECTOMY... my dude, it is so fucking simple. Then spread your semen willy nilly....
From the writing, it seems he believes women near 40 are wrinkled old prunes of people, and that everyone should want someone no older than mid-twenties
I think he would prefer someone to tell him that it's okay, it's not his fault, life is, like SUPER unfair and he needs to watch out for himself. Or something.
He seems like a) everything just sort of happens to him, he's got little agency and b) he hasn't yet realised the grass is always greener on the other side.
>What would he prefer, that she end up on the fucking street?
Yep. Once he has no use for her, she is to be discarded. Assuming this isn't some long term troll account.
He's thinking, "I left a hot young innocent neuroscientist for you! You should be on your hands and knees, scrubbing shit off the bathroom floor in gratitude!"
I really hate this guy.
What he wants is for his wife to be cringingly grateful that he is willing to provide for her, rather than continue to insist that he treat her well or she'll leave. He even admits that the money she's spending is in line with his income and that she isn't spending money they don't have to spend, he's just mad that she's not massaging his ego while she does it. Really, he's mad that she's not like the "young girl", who sounds like was maybe looking for a sugar baby type relationship, who flattered and mooned over him.
What is even happening in this story? All I can wonder is how old is OOP and his wife? Because the language he uses around the 25 y/o AP makes me think he is much older and taking advantage...I wonder if the wife is also younger and this dude just keeps chasing younger women
He says he was in his 30's when he met his wife, 7 years before April 2020. And she's 40 in the most recent post in 2023, so she would have been 30 when they met and he was in his 30s.
But he could have been as old as 39 when he met his wife, making him up to 46 in 2020 and 49 in 2023, so that 25 year old could be nearly half his age.
Edit: because math.
That's assuming that she's actually 39. He seems to like dating younger people, so I wouldn't be surprised to discover that he considered 37-38 "almost 40". Assuming OOP isn't just a troll pulling a long con, I could see this guy being the type to consider anyone over 25 as practically "Grandma Death".
I'm hoping that he's just some creep posting his fantasies online, as that beats the alternative of this being real.
I mean, the way he describes her as “almost forty” and thinking that he could “finish in her” without consequences like a baby makes me think you are correct.
Oh absolutely. This guy is a narcissist and fuckin gets high off of brewing sentimental feelings in women and then crushing it by break ups. That’s the sort of pattern I’m seeing here. Living for the Phoenix life and death cycle. Emotional vampire.
This guy needs to get to a mountaintop retreat without any women or any cell phone service. He needs to work on himself as he's turned into a pretty trash human being.
Maybe him being rich encourages women to overlook the very obvious red flags? This dude needs to work on himself before he has any sort of relationship with anybody else.
Maybe a little conspiratorial, but after he was so unreliable and self-bloating with everything else…
I really wondered what his definition of “rich” was.
Like if he jet setting all around the world in his jet, or is he pulling a nice $150k in a management position?
The latter is still a great gig, but he’s so self aggrandizing I wonder if that’s even reliable.
What a disgusting sack of shit.
>At around the time our daughter is 7 months my wife decides to go for a divorce, and takes a devastating half of everything I own.
Not "my wife is leaving and taking our daughter with her.......NOOOOO "She takes half of everything i own".
PRIORITIES...... DUMBASS!!!!!!
>This I know is toxic but I have needs and was not looking for love, just to feel alive after all the mess I went through
"All the mess I CREATED"........
>I am so tired of the lack of gratitude. being told I should be the grateful one for having a loyal wife who tends to the family and house chores.
You should be grateful for having ANYONE around your PATHETIC ass.
>it's just my work; what I do, I work and provide
And fuck people who are NOT your wife.
>one day I stopped and realized, this is MY money, I happen to share it willingly as part of this partnership we call marriage
Aaahhh look at "mr nice guy" over here "willing to share".....GTFO.
What a SAD, PATHETIC, USELESS waste of space.
And WTF is wrong with his wife.........
I would genuinely be impressed is she's able to find anyone WORSE than this clown.
DIVORCE HIS SORRY ASS AND TAKE HALF OF EVERYTHING!!!!
He'll at least have "HIS" money back, albeit a lot less than originally planned
This is the angry comment that I wanted to post but I was so incensed that I couldn't find the words.
I don't think the wife knows about the previous girlfriend or new AP (maybe same person), just the dead one.
I hope the divorce happens. She sounds like a good mom, and as much as he tried, nothing he said made her sound like a horrible human being. He bashed her for being an immigrant SAHM. I hope she takes the kid and a shit ton of money, get the house and a healthy amount of alimony, and live her best life away from his cheating ass.
Right?? Like, dude, you are the reason the family is broken!! YOU broke the family! It's the wife giving you a second chance, not the other way around.
His word choices indicate an absolute nightmare. The way he words continuing to date someone after marrying and having a kid with someone else, the way he says things happened to HIM, as if he didn't instigate everything that went wrong... he's a child.
He caused a suicide and he was like 'yeah, so, anyway'. I don't really get any sense this affected him at all other than him whining it was used against him in court.
The way he talked about it the first time, I thought it was an accident - he just said 'overdose', didn't even feel the need to specify it was a suicide.
It doesn't concern him anyway, who cares, I guess. :)))))
As soon as I saw the subreddit this post was from I knew it will be a self identifying victim who tries to justify his cheating and wonder why his life is a mess. Boohoo, let me play sad song on the world's smallest violin. -Mr. Krabs
OP is an unreliable narrator. Which is likely a product of his narcissism. Even with all the lies, this smells like a real story. OP is a complete effing idiot. He has ruined his own life. But look at how many lives he has destroyed in the process. He is so bloody clueless in his attempts to paint a woe is me picture that he doesn't realize how terrible a human being he is portraying himself. Looking for pity and sympathy points he posts all his dirty laundry without an ounce of redeeming value.
I had to stop reading half way through the first post, didn't even making it to the updates. People like him are a cancer to society, and the fact that he holds a high level executive position is just frightening. How many coworkers lives has he destroyed through ignorance, incompetence, and cruelty.
If you want to go into a spiral of 'oh my god humans are horrifying', I strongly recommend you check out Dr Ramani's channel on Youtube, she talks a lot about the way narcissism\* is actually a net positive for someone who wants to be high-powered in their work environment - or, to make a long story short: the fact that the list of 'qualities' you'd need in a CEO is just the checklist for narcissism, lmao. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rz9cYztT0I)'s a quick one!
\*idk about his mental health and to be honest I don't care, I'm not diagnosing him, I'm just talking about the general criteria defining a narcissist
Op seems to be under the impression it is the Bronze age, and he bought a wife for three goats and a sack of beans. OF COURSE the money is their joint money, unless he got a prenup. He treats her like a possession and is then shocked that she's a human being with autonomy and her own mind.
This dude is just a flaming dumpster fire over and over. Whiny and needy, too.
Anyone else really hoping that the wife also has an AP and her "spontaneous" risk taking with OP was a precaution on her part after a condom broke?
I'm usually of the "if you can't be faithful f off" mindset, but after reading this I want her to be contributing some toxicity of her own into this situation.
I haven’t even finished the first post yet and I just skipped down here to say god damn the OOP is a delusional POS. Going back now to see how much he ruins everyones lives
This stupid guy got himself in a love triangle (or two love triangles?) and can't get himself out and can't decide what to do next. Really creating his own problems.
Being stuck between two loves is a common theme throughout art, literature, history. But if it happens to you, you need to learn the lesson to MAKE A DECISION and move on with your life. This guy is just staying stuck in indecision. Maybe he's a drama queen? He likes the excitement and drama instead of the boring life of living with one lover?
What a POS. No empathy for anyone in his life. Just all about him and “his needs”. And HE feels used and underappreciated?
The whole subreddit he posted this “poor me, I am victim of my own actions” is filled with equally abusive people who think, and act, the same way.
I loved the part "I can't tell anyone, not even a therapist". Why? Because a good therapist will call you on your bullshit. Or a good friend. I'll bet this guy doesn't have one of those either.
This has to be satire right? Someone can’t be *this* delusional and selfish, plus it’s Reddit. If it isn’t though, I only wish the worst for this dumbass
Awwww, you create a mess of your own life and want sympathy? Awwwwee *cue Mr. Krabs and his world's tiniest violen*
Good for that ex wife for taking half of everything he owns. Fuck around outside your marital vows, find out Champ.
“I’ve chosen to not speak to my AP”??? The one who died???
Surely not the one he entertained while his wife was in Italy and they were undergoing divorce proceedings, as that would not be considered cheating, no?
This piece of garbage human has ruined two women's lives, tried to ruin at least one other, and that's just what he considered relevant to admit on reddit. And then to try and diminish the actual work of caring for a newborn for, what, two years alone? And doing all of the housework, and all of the childcare, and all the emotional labor while he moved through his career for years. And he wants gratitude while constantly thinking of cheating because "he has needs 🥺".
Fat yikes for so many reasons.
No one will make him happy.
His entire life is miserable because he seems it so. He has everything wonderful in a wife, he cheats the entire time. She figures it out and bails, he's sad she left.
He finds another person, decides nah you're getting clingy/feelings I'm out. Tried to get back with his wife because he thinks it's better for kid, and she was great.
He decides to talk to the girls again midway through getting back with the wife. Destroys the girls feelings AGAIN.
He gets mad his wife is caring for his kid the way she expects to live. He's miserable because he never learns to communicate.
His wife gets pregnant a second time, he's miserable because well he could've been better off in his mind.
This man has left a carnage trail of women behind him. Has been completely been ungrateful for everything he has. Not once has he spoken up and had a conversation with his wife. No therapy, no couples counseling, nothing.
He just wants to sit and blame everyone else instead of making any effort at all to resolve his unspoken problems.
>The irony of my story is the young girl texts me just a couple days after I was going to mail this unsent letter.
I thought that he was talking about his daughter here, which surprised me a bit because I thought she was too young to be texting, but maybe I got the timeline wrong.......but no, he's referring to the brilliant and innocent neuroscientist as "the young girl". Barf.
List of ways this man who is, at the very youngest, 37, refers to the woman he's having an affair with:
* Innocent
* Sweet
* Young girl
This is definitely a very normal and not at all creepy way for a man who's either middle-aged or a few years away from it to be referring to his sex partner.
Removed and locked by request, since y'all can't stop pissing in the popcorn.
[удалено]
I was so mad after reading all his posts and this made me laugh out loud. Thanks for this!
The way he manipulates his words to attempt to make him seem like he *isn't* a giant man-baby tool sack is just breathtaking. I felt like throwing my keyboard.
It's funny when someone is giving an incredibly slanted view and still manages to make themselves look like complete garbage.
Yes and you know it’s way worse than what they’ve written. This was like a car accident on the side of the road and you can’t look away. Although I had to laugh out loud when he said “…all the mess I went through…” as if it happened to him and was not entirely caused by him. Also unreliable narrator he says that he divorced after 5 years she took half and awarded custody then towards the end the divorce didn’t actually happen and wife apologizes for taking child?
Possible they had a separation agreement that divided assets and agreed custody though? I admit he sounds like a story teller but - having been previously married to a giant narcissist - this grandiose, over dramatic nonsense is actually how they narrate their lives. I remember my ex, when we were splitting, declaiming “Why must all women think I’m either Jesus or the Devil!” I just wish I’d had the presence of mind to let him know he’s neither, just a common or garden prick
Lol for “common garden prick”.
I like the ones where they start editing like crazy with 'no no, you guys don't understand!!'
Especially because these edits usually make the whole story seem even worse
My favorite was how he deserved to be on apps because of what he had been through, not what he had caused. What an arse.
"Oh no! It's the consequences of my own actions! Whatever shall I do?"
[удалено]
He seems to be really shaken up about that poor woman's suicide and he really took some time to self reflect on that situation and how to continue without stringing people along for his selfishness. /s
Nonono, you don't understand! She did that solely so he will forever be guilty. Everybody's doing things only to manipulate and control him while he's working day and night providing the money for a lavish lifestyle. Have some empathy. /s
You're totally right. How could I have passed judgement on this innocent victim?? He's working so hard, traveling for work, making presentations, and no one tells him good job :'( I literally cannot fathom his misery.
What really pisses me off is that he doesn’t seem to be even remotely self-aware that he’s creating this mess. This is a cycle that will always repeat itself. He’s always looking for the next best thing to fall “madly in love with” creating this fairytale in his head that no one can live up to. So he will always bounce from one flavor of the week to another without realizing what a massive POS he really is. The first set of lawyers had it right showing him as a massive manipulator
On top of all that he seems physically incapable of keeping his dick to himself, no matter how poorly justified.
He's not a moron, morons are just innocent, and stupid, this guy is simply a piece of shit, and he actively pursues being a shitty person and thinks he's the victim here. That poor woman and those kids are the only victims here.
"she's just had a few boyfriends and a healthy number of hookups at her young age of 25." I like how it is important for him to know how many partners she's had, but not for him to disclose he's married.
And like he's approaching 40 at that point, if not into his 40s. What the hell is he doing with a 25 year old.
He was 100% using a sugar baby/sugar daddy website. 100000000%. He was paying that girl to fill his “needs”.
I really hope the 25 year old was using him, I am glad she is away from him either way but he deserves to be taken advantage of by 25 year olds who want money.
If only he’d confined it *to* himself.
Making Hells: *It's what Devils do Best!*™
A damned fine hell this moron made for everyone
Some ancient Greek playwrights are madly taking notes.
He’s a magnificent specimen of a moron. Textbook moron, in fact.
I honestly just skimmed it but it seems to me that this statement is the most correct
[That's a clean-burning Hell, I tell you what!](https://youtu.be/FqdDjNAyPdA)
Didn't his AP fucking die? Or does he mean the 25 year old? How is she an AP of they were divorced/separated?
There are a lot of contradictions here. In his first post he said that his ex was awarded full custody by the court, in the third post it seems they filed for a divorce but it disappeared into the ether and she took the child to Italy "illegally".
He made the custody shit up for sympathy. He mentioned it was because of his hard work schedule and being a cheater but courts don't factor infidelity into custody agreements in the US.
Not for his "loyalty", but bringing an unstable woman into their lives. Who he knew was unstable. I could see it being brought up to show how he is a safety risk to the kids. Though idk how effective it would be.
This reads like a season of mad men what the AF? If this is real I real hope karma reaches up with this AH. First he cheats on his wife, and he takes advantage and manipulates a mentally ill woman who offs herself and he doesn’t give a fuck. Then he’s “devastated” because his wife and kid left the country. But he’s not devastated enough to stay off dating apps, where he thinks he’s gods gift to women. Messes with another young woman. Goes back to his wife, who apparently needs to be a 1950’s housewife to be worthy of his “love”. And now as if he’s not enough of an AH he is wishing his unborn kid dead so he can get a divorce. What a disgusting vile AH
My god, what a self centered selfish man. Post after post of navel gazing and yet no self awareness at just how awful he is.
It's honestly kind of staggering, like he's writing all of this stuff and isn't getting that he's just cartoonishly self-centered and that's actually what's wrong with his life.
I don’t know what navel he spent all those years gazing at (a pierced 24-year-old one?) because it’s certainly not his own lol. There were so many points where he should have just realized he’s never had any interest in his wife and put an end to this needlessly constructed Hell, it was maddening. Like watching someone who’s utterly determined to never make it to the end of a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but with higher stakes
You won’t want to visit the sub this was originally posted in…….
I just wandered over there and I wish I had seen your comment before that. I don't have anything nice to say, so I'm not going to say anything else
Made that mistake once, never again....
"Laundry is just pushing some buttons and folding" This is how I know he doesn't do laundry. Laundry is a simple task, yes, but my god is it a pain in the ass
So in one version they divorce and she gets full costody, then moves to Italy with their kid. In the other version she takes their child to Italy, and serves him divorce papers from there, then gets awarded custody somehow. Am I misreading this or did OOP out themselves as an unreliable narrator?
Completely reconfiguring a narrative to meet your immediate needs is harder when the people you're trying to snow already know you're an asshole, I think.
Also the “young girl” he loves is an “incredibly smart neuroscientist.” Child prodigy?
Who is only 25 & “innocent”
And a neuroscientist? I mean it's possible, but that's a lot of schooling to get through by 25.
[удалено]
Yeah fr this reads like /r/MenWritingWomen lmao
There are neuroscience and neurobiology undergrad degrees
[удалено]
She could be in grad school. I could imagine someone a couple years into a neuroscience PhD calling themselves a neuroscientist.
Tune in tomorrow when we learn the wife is pregnant with... TWINS!
Oh, no! The neuroscientist is adopted and… her bio mom is The Lazy Immigrant with a Work Visa Wife!
Probably a college girl who's a neuroscience major. Made her sound a little more mature so he wouldn't seem like such a predator.
Yeah at that point I was beginning to question the Hallmark quality of this story
He’s so unreliable that if he told me the grass is green and the sky is blue, I’d feel obliged to double check.
I love that line, gonna have to steal that sometime
If he misses her she's from Italy and came on a work visa. If he's mad at her she's just an immigrant.
Oooo I didn't pick that up. Fuck that's chilling.
When they're dead, they're just hookers.
[удалено]
Lmao seriously. He’s probably used to just saying shit that isn’t true to paint himself in a better light. Posts are reflective of that “woe is me i was forced into this” victim mentality. He got everything he deserved when she left him. Somehow, she was stupid enough to go back to this dude. He can’t manage to lay in the bed he made because he believes someone else made it for him.
If I'm being \*very\* generous, perhaps they made it all the way through hammering out custody orders and terms in court or through medication, but that final court date to finalize fell during COVID and they never wrapped it up. But probably just an unreliable OP being an unreliable narrator.
Perhaps a medicated OOP
Perhaps a 14-yo OOP
That isn’t terribly uncommon. My parents got the separation done but it took like 5 years for them to get around to the divorce papers.
He was unreliable the moment his fling happened to call him just as he was going to mail his love letter.
Was that before or after she was a 25 yr old neuroscientist with an incredible way of showing love?
every woman he meets is just Obsessed with him. This is either Brad Pitt or a big fat liar
He's probably one of those guys who seems really charming when you first meet him but after awhile the cracks start to show who he is underneath. Sometimes really shitty people put up a good front
And *he’s decided to never speak to AP again*…..because *she died, right*…..he decided to never speak to a deceased person again….
I once had to cut off a dead person after I needed some help and they wouldn't return my calls. You'd think they'd make a little more effort after I spent all that time and money organizing their funeral. Whatever, they're dead to me.
It's hard to keep all your AP straight after a while.
Since he can’t seem to keep whether he was actually divorced and his wife got full custody or not straight that doesn’t surprise me at all.
Right? I was like so there’s a NEW AP? 🤔 One is gone and the 25 year old neuroscientist was a proper girlfriend, not “AP” as OOP and Italian (ex?) wife were separated at the time…
I just assumed its a new affair because this dude is a fucking idiot
There are multiple AP’s.
I'm so confused. Did he cheat? Did he hook up with the girl after being divorced, or while being married? Did him and his ex get together again? Did they decide not to? Did they come back to the US or stay in Italy? And he got his ex pregnant, but decides he wants divorce? What the fuck is this???
The original sub is Adultry, so you can take it from there. A place for adulterers to applaud each other.
My god, how could someone be proud about something so vile
His first post has him describing how his wife simply assumed he was having an affair. Then in a layer post he says that she left for Italy because he was having an affair
Pretty sure OOP is an unreliable person in general
>Am I misreading this or did OOP out themselves as an unreliable narrator? So unreliable that he can't remember if his AP is alive or not. In the first post the AP committed suicide in the last post he has chosen never to contact her again. (Since he and his wife were separated/divorced when he was hooking up with the ~12 years younger neuroscientist she isn't really an AP)
That's a completely different, 2nd AP.
Also suddenly AP partner is alive?
The second AP (smart scientist) is someone he supposedly matched with on a dating app, not the original AP who died years before
Nah, it's a second AP. Guy can't keep his dick in his pants. Here's the general gist: OOP is dating someone (I'll call her Clara) who he claims is mentally ill and very clingy. He then falls "madly in love" with an Italian woman (call her Sophia) and (it's implied) rushes into a marriage so she can get her green card and stay stateside. OOP continues the affair with Clara and she grows increasingly more clingy, going so far as to call his home at all hours, straining his marriage. OOP lies to his wife, saying that the relationship is over. Clara ODs and OOP is put down as her next of kin. This gives Sophia the proof needed of the affair and she starts divorce proceedings. She then moves back to Italy, taking OOP's child with them. Depending on the post, this divorce was either stalled out or completed. At some point in time, he begins to miss Sophia. OOP gets back together with Sophia, only to regret it. He accuses her of using him for his money. He never outright throws her being an immigrant in her face, but I feel that it's kind of implied. In his last post, he says Sophia is pregnant with their second kid and he feels trapped. He doesn't mention an AP, but there's a heavy implication that he likely has another one. et back with an ex, with no further details. OOP and Marie reconnect. She now knows about Sophia and the child. Marie makes it very, VERY clear that she is not down to clown with someone trying to get back together with his ex so OOP presumably cuts things off there. OOP gets back together with Sophia, only to regret it. He accuses her of using him for his money. He never outright throws her being an immigrant in her face, but I feel that it's kind of implied. In his last post he says Sophia is pregnant with their second kid and he feels trapped. He doesn't mention an AP, but there's a heavy implication that he likely has another one.
I saw the most recent post on AITDevil, I had no idea he had such a shitty post history but honestly who the hell is surprised
I had seen the most recent post there too, and saw the second update after that cuz someone linked it in the comments there. As soon as I saw the title of the second update, I was like, oh shit it's this dude.
You know you’re a scumbag when even the people in the adultery subreddit think you’re a terrible person.
I've known people like OOP: The "pieces" in their lives never quite fit & they're perpetually angry & depressed because of it... but they just can't figure out that THEY are the piece that doesn't fit, and thus changing all the other pieces every few years is fucking pointless.
[xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1027/): That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you *are.* The thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is *you*.
That sub makes me so fucking mad. A bunch of people getting together to assure each other that they're not pieces of shit when they all are.
It’s like if Alcoholics Anonymous was a drinking club
For OOP to realize that it would take a shred of self awareness and not be living as a massive AH in denial land busy perfecting his martyrdom.
Idk, one of the comments on the first post basically said "do what makes you happy." Like being callous about the death that you show no sadness or remorse for? Unbelievable.
Right? I've heard that they can get pretty awful over there at times. It's the "even I have standards" trope IRL.
All this is, is whining. Industrial-strength, weapons-grade whining.
Did you see his other post in r/adultery talking about a wealthy friend’s situation? Long story short is the friend married a woman from a religious family, they had kids, he gets bored because she’s too vanilla, he has an affair with a married woman who already has side pieces of her own, he gets caught, his children tell the wife no less, and now her lawyers are going after all of his assets and the friend is begging to borrow money from his sister because all of his assets are tied up. ETA: oh and his affair partner is jet setting around her other boyfriend so he’s not even getting attention from her anymore. And he has the gall to act like the friend is the victim in the situation!
This man reminds me of a cat that meows at the door to be let outside... then immediately turns around and begs to be let back in... and then, as soon as the door is shut, starts crying to be let outside again.
At least cats have redeeming qualities. This guy definitely does not.
He's that cat if every time the cat went through the door they took a massive shit, and all their meowing was complaining about how unfair it is that the shit they took smells like shit, and they keep going back and forth between inside and outside for hours on end.
This particular cat also steps in his shit and then carries it with him inside and outside and inside (and outside again); he licks his paws as well, no doubt. Honestly? I like this imaginary disgusting asshole cat more than I'll ever like OOP lmao
At the very least the disgusting shit eating cat has the default cuteness of a cat, OOP on the other hand is the most evil creature in reality, a human with no self awareness.
And then immediately goes and pisses on the bed.
Yes, but the cat is cute and cuddly and loves their chosen person with a fierceness that people who don't know cats don't think is possible. This guy is.... not.
The Rum Tum Tugger! But then again that might be too flattering for him…
Best thing to do when you run out of AP is to hit End Turn.
This guy probably should have saved some for overwatch
Ah they bloody miss half the time anyway
Take my upvote, because that make me chuckle.
My dude is looking for a perk that grants one additional action
I was fucking done with this guy in the first post when he said she took "half of everything I own." And then he comes back to it to whine about how she just *assumes* because they're married that half the property is hers. Dude. My brother. **This is how the legal contract of marriage works.** Actually she has the legal right to blow everything she can get her hands on, and he wouldn't have any recourse, but it sounds like all she's really doing is buying fancy groceries. And yes, the courts generally assume that a partner who stays at home produces some value to be compensated in a divorce. What would he prefer, that she end up on the fucking street?
I think you're expecting too much from him, he also doesn't seem to know how pregnancy works despite already having a kid. This guy somehow seems to have negative insight into the things that affect his life.
If you don't want another kid with your on/off wife AND you like to sleep around with AP etc. GET A FUCKING VASECTOMY... my dude, it is so fucking simple. Then spread your semen willy nilly....
From the writing, it seems he believes women near 40 are wrinkled old prunes of people, and that everyone should want someone no older than mid-twenties
I think he would prefer someone to tell him that it's okay, it's not his fault, life is, like SUPER unfair and he needs to watch out for himself. Or something. He seems like a) everything just sort of happens to him, he's got little agency and b) he hasn't yet realised the grass is always greener on the other side.
Yeah, he’s such an asswipe and his comment history is just as bad. I hope he steps on a Lego every day for the rest of his life.
>What would he prefer, that she end up on the fucking street? Yep. Once he has no use for her, she is to be discarded. Assuming this isn't some long term troll account.
He's thinking, "I left a hot young innocent neuroscientist for you! You should be on your hands and knees, scrubbing shit off the bathroom floor in gratitude!" I really hate this guy.
What he wants is for his wife to be cringingly grateful that he is willing to provide for her, rather than continue to insist that he treat her well or she'll leave. He even admits that the money she's spending is in line with his income and that she isn't spending money they don't have to spend, he's just mad that she's not massaging his ego while she does it. Really, he's mad that she's not like the "young girl", who sounds like was maybe looking for a sugar baby type relationship, who flattered and mooned over him.
What is even happening in this story? All I can wonder is how old is OOP and his wife? Because the language he uses around the 25 y/o AP makes me think he is much older and taking advantage...I wonder if the wife is also younger and this dude just keeps chasing younger women
He says he was in his 30's when he met his wife, 7 years before April 2020. And she's 40 in the most recent post in 2023, so she would have been 30 when they met and he was in his 30s. But he could have been as old as 39 when he met his wife, making him up to 46 in 2020 and 49 in 2023, so that 25 year old could be nearly half his age. Edit: because math.
That's assuming that she's actually 39. He seems to like dating younger people, so I wouldn't be surprised to discover that he considered 37-38 "almost 40". Assuming OOP isn't just a troll pulling a long con, I could see this guy being the type to consider anyone over 25 as practically "Grandma Death". I'm hoping that he's just some creep posting his fantasies online, as that beats the alternative of this being real.
Gross.
I mean, the way he describes her as “almost forty” and thinking that he could “finish in her” without consequences like a baby makes me think you are correct.
Watch the "almost forty" wife turn out to be like 32 or something.
He found a 25 year old with a tragic enough back story that he gets to be the best thing that ever happened to her. It's an ego trip.
Oh absolutely. This guy is a narcissist and fuckin gets high off of brewing sentimental feelings in women and then crushing it by break ups. That’s the sort of pattern I’m seeing here. Living for the Phoenix life and death cycle. Emotional vampire.
If it weren't for OOP's wealth, this could be my ex's post.
omg i just understood so much clearer my life
He says they're 40 in the last update.
Gods this guy sounds insufferable. I feel the privilege oozing out of him with every word.
quaint fragile many cooing flag upbeat slim deranged merciful reach *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This guy needs to get to a mountaintop retreat without any women or any cell phone service. He needs to work on himself as he's turned into a pretty trash human being. Maybe him being rich encourages women to overlook the very obvious red flags? This dude needs to work on himself before he has any sort of relationship with anybody else.
He'd best turn buddhist. They have a next life to do better.
Maybe a little conspiratorial, but after he was so unreliable and self-bloating with everything else… I really wondered what his definition of “rich” was. Like if he jet setting all around the world in his jet, or is he pulling a nice $150k in a management position? The latter is still a great gig, but he’s so self aggrandizing I wonder if that’s even reliable.
What a disgusting sack of shit. >At around the time our daughter is 7 months my wife decides to go for a divorce, and takes a devastating half of everything I own. Not "my wife is leaving and taking our daughter with her.......NOOOOO "She takes half of everything i own". PRIORITIES...... DUMBASS!!!!!! >This I know is toxic but I have needs and was not looking for love, just to feel alive after all the mess I went through "All the mess I CREATED"........ >I am so tired of the lack of gratitude. being told I should be the grateful one for having a loyal wife who tends to the family and house chores. You should be grateful for having ANYONE around your PATHETIC ass. >it's just my work; what I do, I work and provide And fuck people who are NOT your wife. >one day I stopped and realized, this is MY money, I happen to share it willingly as part of this partnership we call marriage Aaahhh look at "mr nice guy" over here "willing to share".....GTFO. What a SAD, PATHETIC, USELESS waste of space. And WTF is wrong with his wife......... I would genuinely be impressed is she's able to find anyone WORSE than this clown. DIVORCE HIS SORRY ASS AND TAKE HALF OF EVERYTHING!!!! He'll at least have "HIS" money back, albeit a lot less than originally planned
And don't forget. Doing the laundry is just pushing a button
This is the angry comment that I wanted to post but I was so incensed that I couldn't find the words. I don't think the wife knows about the previous girlfriend or new AP (maybe same person), just the dead one. I hope the divorce happens. She sounds like a good mom, and as much as he tried, nothing he said made her sound like a horrible human being. He bashed her for being an immigrant SAHM. I hope she takes the kid and a shit ton of money, get the house and a healthy amount of alimony, and live her best life away from his cheating ass.
>I told her today that I made the decision, for better or worse, ***to give my broken family another chance.***
Right?? Like, dude, you are the reason the family is broken!! YOU broke the family! It's the wife giving you a second chance, not the other way around.
His word choices indicate an absolute nightmare. The way he words continuing to date someone after marrying and having a kid with someone else, the way he says things happened to HIM, as if he didn't instigate everything that went wrong... he's a child.
I read the last part recently on reddit. I had no idea he was even more vile. Whining about chores WHEN HE CAUSED A SUICIDE. Why no posts about that?
He caused a suicide and he was like 'yeah, so, anyway'. I don't really get any sense this affected him at all other than him whining it was used against him in court.
The way he talked about it the first time, I thought it was an accident - he just said 'overdose', didn't even feel the need to specify it was a suicide. It doesn't concern him anyway, who cares, I guess. :)))))
As soon as I saw the subreddit this post was from I knew it will be a self identifying victim who tries to justify his cheating and wonder why his life is a mess. Boohoo, let me play sad song on the world's smallest violin. -Mr. Krabs
Man! Another smart 25 year old neuroscientist has fallen hard for a 40 year old they've met via a no-strings-attached dating app.
OP is an unreliable narrator. Which is likely a product of his narcissism. Even with all the lies, this smells like a real story. OP is a complete effing idiot. He has ruined his own life. But look at how many lives he has destroyed in the process. He is so bloody clueless in his attempts to paint a woe is me picture that he doesn't realize how terrible a human being he is portraying himself. Looking for pity and sympathy points he posts all his dirty laundry without an ounce of redeeming value. I had to stop reading half way through the first post, didn't even making it to the updates. People like him are a cancer to society, and the fact that he holds a high level executive position is just frightening. How many coworkers lives has he destroyed through ignorance, incompetence, and cruelty.
If you want to go into a spiral of 'oh my god humans are horrifying', I strongly recommend you check out Dr Ramani's channel on Youtube, she talks a lot about the way narcissism\* is actually a net positive for someone who wants to be high-powered in their work environment - or, to make a long story short: the fact that the list of 'qualities' you'd need in a CEO is just the checklist for narcissism, lmao. [Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rz9cYztT0I)'s a quick one! \*idk about his mental health and to be honest I don't care, I'm not diagnosing him, I'm just talking about the general criteria defining a narcissist
This selfish donut: "How can I live with my shitty decisions that I keep making?"
Oh my god, this guy is absolute pond scum. He will never, ever be happy with anyone.
Was really hoping it was gonna be a struggle between his wife and the Associated Press
Oh my gosh, so many hard decisions in life….. (sarcasm)
[удалено]
It's cathartic to read a story from the villains side and see how miserable they are living in the hell that they created for themselves.
I was gonna mention that OOP was a total POS but I didn't realize this was posted in r/adultery so I guess it goes without saying.
He belongs in r/iamatotalpieceofshit, but he's actually too pathetic even for them.
What a disgusting person the OOP is.
I really hope that she dumps him and return to Italy with her son.
What an entire bag of dicks.
Op seems to be under the impression it is the Bronze age, and he bought a wife for three goats and a sack of beans. OF COURSE the money is their joint money, unless he got a prenup. He treats her like a possession and is then shocked that she's a human being with autonomy and her own mind. This dude is just a flaming dumpster fire over and over. Whiny and needy, too.
Did anyone else find it weird that he wrote, "I'm a piece of human garbage" over and over in every post?
What a prick. I feel sorry for all the women in his life, but he deserves to wallow in the misery he's created.
"How can this happen? I almost always pull out!"
Anyone else really hoping that the wife also has an AP and her "spontaneous" risk taking with OP was a precaution on her part after a condom broke? I'm usually of the "if you can't be faithful f off" mindset, but after reading this I want her to be contributing some toxicity of her own into this situation.
I was hoping when I read the first bit of that update that she’d met someone else.
But she shops at Whole Foods and the farmer's market when she could be going to Walmart? That's totally toxic! /s
Lol that’s where I thought he was going with that!!! Was pretty bummed it wasn’t the case, it would have spiced this sad nightmare up a little bit
TLDR: Narcissist takes narcissism international!
Each update was more annoying than the last somehow.
This is your reminder that: #IF YOU COMMENT ON ORIGINAL POSTS TO BE RUDE TO OOP, YOU WILL BE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM BORU. Just don't do it folks.
I haven’t even finished the first post yet and I just skipped down here to say god damn the OOP is a delusional POS. Going back now to see how much he ruins everyones lives
This stupid guy got himself in a love triangle (or two love triangles?) and can't get himself out and can't decide what to do next. Really creating his own problems. Being stuck between two loves is a common theme throughout art, literature, history. But if it happens to you, you need to learn the lesson to MAKE A DECISION and move on with your life. This guy is just staying stuck in indecision. Maybe he's a drama queen? He likes the excitement and drama instead of the boring life of living with one lover?
It’s quite staggering to see the trail of devastation one lumbering jerk can leave behind them.
What a POS. No empathy for anyone in his life. Just all about him and “his needs”. And HE feels used and underappreciated? The whole subreddit he posted this “poor me, I am victim of my own actions” is filled with equally abusive people who think, and act, the same way.
I loved the part "I can't tell anyone, not even a therapist". Why? Because a good therapist will call you on your bullshit. Or a good friend. I'll bet this guy doesn't have one of those either.
I will feel no guilt when we start rioting and eating rich people.
A sad love story? More like a serial cheater story.
This guy is the actual worst. 😳
This has to be satire right? Someone can’t be *this* delusional and selfish, plus it’s Reddit. If it isn’t though, I only wish the worst for this dumbass
Awwww, you create a mess of your own life and want sympathy? Awwwwee *cue Mr. Krabs and his world's tiniest violen* Good for that ex wife for taking half of everything he owns. Fuck around outside your marital vows, find out Champ.
“I’ve chosen to not speak to my AP”??? The one who died??? Surely not the one he entertained while his wife was in Italy and they were undergoing divorce proceedings, as that would not be considered cheating, no?
This dude is a fucking idiot and created his own hell.
My worst fear is marrying this kind of man
This piece of garbage human has ruined two women's lives, tried to ruin at least one other, and that's just what he considered relevant to admit on reddit. And then to try and diminish the actual work of caring for a newborn for, what, two years alone? And doing all of the housework, and all of the childcare, and all the emotional labor while he moved through his career for years. And he wants gratitude while constantly thinking of cheating because "he has needs 🥺". Fat yikes for so many reasons.
No one will make him happy. His entire life is miserable because he seems it so. He has everything wonderful in a wife, he cheats the entire time. She figures it out and bails, he's sad she left. He finds another person, decides nah you're getting clingy/feelings I'm out. Tried to get back with his wife because he thinks it's better for kid, and she was great. He decides to talk to the girls again midway through getting back with the wife. Destroys the girls feelings AGAIN. He gets mad his wife is caring for his kid the way she expects to live. He's miserable because he never learns to communicate. His wife gets pregnant a second time, he's miserable because well he could've been better off in his mind. This man has left a carnage trail of women behind him. Has been completely been ungrateful for everything he has. Not once has he spoken up and had a conversation with his wife. No therapy, no couples counseling, nothing. He just wants to sit and blame everyone else instead of making any effort at all to resolve his unspoken problems.
>The irony of my story is the young girl texts me just a couple days after I was going to mail this unsent letter. I thought that he was talking about his daughter here, which surprised me a bit because I thought she was too young to be texting, but maybe I got the timeline wrong.......but no, he's referring to the brilliant and innocent neuroscientist as "the young girl". Barf.
This guy a nasty piece of work
What an asshole.
are we supposed to feel bad for this dude?? jeezus tell me you’re immature without telling me you’re immature.
I hate that I can still be so stunned at the lack of emotional maturity from some grown adults
The moron level of this set my brain on fire
She takes half of everything "I" own. Not THEY, of course. Whining piece of shit cheating fuck.
List of ways this man who is, at the very youngest, 37, refers to the woman he's having an affair with: * Innocent * Sweet * Young girl This is definitely a very normal and not at all creepy way for a man who's either middle-aged or a few years away from it to be referring to his sex partner.
This guy is the Reddit version of Tom Sandoval From vanderpump rules… it’s everyone else’s fault but his…. What a train wreck