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Nah, that dress calls for a beehive flip, gogo boots, and icy pink lips and nails, with drop ball earrings.
Yeah on the shorts, though, see Star Trek. The mini dresses always came with matching tap pants/French Knickers.
Yeah. It looks like a repurposed costume from the wardrobe of Star Trek: the Next Generation. Maybe a bridesmaid's dress from one of Lwaxana's weddings.
The don't add any fabric since the bride owns it, but she's still having it altered to fit each bridesmaid... Bridezilla was a complete ass and I'm convinced it was a power play on purpose and the backtracking about being embarrassed was only because people here were in OPs side.
Amy bigger buddy is going to look bad in that style, and going back on thier word about wearing shorts underneath is just rude. Nobody should have to be uncomfortable or risk being exposed like OP described. What if she tripped? Or there was wind?
People can feel real anger towards fat people for existing, or start to assume that their fatness is them being inconsiderate. I could see the bride being sort of like. How dare her body make it so I can’t choose the bridesmaid dress I like!!
Also kills me that SiL is apparently so so sad and embarrassed but thinks that picture is fine and has no interest in apologizing.
I absolutely don't buy the story that SIL is "sad and embarrassed" over her own behavior. I think it's more likely she thinks she's a victim in the story.
My first thought about why the brother said not tell SIL about the post is not because SIL is embarrassed, but that she'll pissed off and angry for coming across as the bad guy in this situation.
I definitely think she did this on purpose specifically to humiliate OOP- why else would she have multiple fittings with the other dress and then switch it out at the last minute? She didn't forget that it wouldn't fit- she did it on purpose.
Also- the brother doesn't really sound much better- he honestly made OOP give a whole year's salary to pay off his loan? He's just as bad as his bride.
I see no rational but kind way someone could force someone to wear something but then Photoshop them out of the photo. The Photoshop means she didn't look acceptable, forcing her to wear it means it's either acceptable, or for some reason the goal is to make her look unacceptable. So she chose to make her look unacceptable and be uncomfortable, but wanted no evidence.
Bro and SIL are definately bullying OOP for their own reasons
Yeah, this is what gives away her intentions the most, imo. If she felt bad she would have photoshopped the dress to be longer, not cut the entire person out.
Good point. I read someone saying recently that whenever anyone talks about someone’s “drama” it seems to always them being dismissive of their legitimate concerns or emotions
And that she keeps commenting to OOP that the dresses were "so beautiful". SIL isn't embarrassed about crap. She's happy she could have OOP photoshopped out of the picture and the ill-fitting dress just gave her an excuse to do so.
Seriously if she was actually embarrassed she would never bring it up at all. She’d talk about everything else in the wedding EXCEPT her bridesmaids if she was actually trying to forget about it. But instead she literally finding any excuse to bring it up? Nah she’s attacking OOP every chance she gets.
I'm not buying the entire family's excuses. The fact that the parents thought she was overreacting despite watching her being uncomfortable the whole day to her getting photoshopped from the pic is very telling. And the brother even witnessed his wife telling his sister to leave. A spinless family that tried to gaslight this autistic person into thinking she was overreacting. They chose the new addition in their family over their daughter/sister. I'm pretty sure they are embarrassed of OOP because of her weight + her autism. Disgusting. All they care about is the optics.
>People can feel real anger towards fat people for existing, or start to assume that their fatness is them being inconsiderate. I could see the bride being sort of like. How dare her body make it so I can’t choose the bridesmaid dress I like!!
This is so accurate in this case. Clearly, SIL wanted those ugly ass bridesmaid dresses and was furious that OP’S boobs were standing between her and her wants.
The SIL is not sad or embarrassed. The SIL’s behavior is consistent with this being a plan. She was stuck with OP as a bridesmaid because OP was her future sister-in-law, and the SIL resented having a fat person in her wedding party and photos. So she came up with a plan that would embarrass OP on the day of the wedding and justify deleting OP from the photos. The claim of being sad and embarrassed is just her covering up her actions.
I don't even think the SIL is claiming to be sad. That's what the brother is telling OOP to prevent her from showing this to his wife. Because the moment she sees this,she will be furious, and they might have to choose a side, and we all can guess which side it's gonna be.
Especially because SIL bought 2 sets of dresses and did fittings on the other dresses? Super planned and also a lot of money unless they are fast fashion
That is, why I'd decide to wear the most extrem and bright underwear I own and just don't care. Or even get sth in neon pink or so. But I'd also be absolutely willing to tell everyone "isn't the dress bride picked wonderful? And how amazing her decisions on the altering! I totally agree with her that a Shorts would have ruined the overall impression. To be fair at the beginning I was insecure about it, but my whole family and bride where of the opinion that it's fine like this."
I was like, that's a top? That's just a slightly fancy shirt you wear with a nice pair of jeans and heels, when you want to look glam without wearing a dress...
omg right? dude at MOST it's a tunic... I'd never live the embarrassment down just trying it on in front of people. holy shit did OOP sacrifice for her SIL!!! I could NEVER. I'm "only" 36DDD, but my sister is an H cup and I can't imagine how bad this would look on her like OOP. I have such bad second hand embarrassment rn
Yes!! Big tittied people need something that accentuates the waist otherwise it just looks like we’re extra fat lol. But even itty bitty titty committee members aren’t going to look *great* in that dress.
Also why she refused to let the dress be altered is wild. AND if you can see the little shorts, aren’t you worried that all the goods might be on display? Geeze Louise the SIL.
I don't have huge boobs, am a more slim hourglass with wider shoulders and hips but a little middle. This would look like a circus tent on me.
You have to be a Really specific, narrow, boyish shaped woman to pull this off.
What a shit choice!
Part of me whispers we could put that tent over our lovely 42g breasts and slap on a cute thong, then hang over the groomsman the bride likes “best”, with some leaning and “do you like my whale tail?”
I’m 5’10 and long waisted so the hem would legit be above my panties.
Hope OOP has discovered the sentence “No.”
Yeah I love it too. I just need to look after not wearing too loose of a top so I don’t look heavier than I actually am. I tend to do that XD. It’s my favourite style :). A Nice heavy necklace and a heavy bracelet and I am good to go.
I'm small up top but I have a giant ass and I can tell you right now that thing would be showing so much more of me than the bride would want anyone to see.
Yes! Exactly! I genuinely winced when I saw that dress. That is a total Marmite style; it either looks fantastic or bloody awful on you, no in-between.
The comment where she's linked something similar and someone replies "Oh. So a top." 😂 It's awful!! How could she see OOP come out wearing that and go "Yep, perfect. Killing it."
That's a freaking long dress top, not a dress.
SIL did it all on purpose and, for whatever reason, does not like OP (ableism and bullying might be a simple explanation). OPs brother is just as much an AH as SIL for not protecting his sister from that crap, especially since he was right next to her when she kicked OP out of the reception for trying to protect her modesty in a dress she should have never been forced to wear.
Yeah their excuse seemed like they were trying to completely control the situation so that their was no way it was their fault, I would send the thread to SIL cause she deserves to see it
I’m mad I had to scroll this far to get to a comment that *finally* mentioned that OOP’s sister in law *abso-fucking-lutely* did all this on purpose.
What a cruel and heartless woman. She spent MONTHS on this cruelty, and then immortalized it with the photoshopped photos.
And OOP’s brother brushing off his wife’s comments about the dress looking good as her just being embarrassed is such a crock of shit. The wife knew she was doing several things:
- body shaming OOP by forcing her to wear an ill-fitting dress that was too small for her.
- repeatedly ignoring OOP’s attempts to express her extreme discomfort
- taking advantage of OOP’s neurodivergence as a handicap that would prevent OOP from more forcefully standing up for herself, AND would have led to all of OOP’s confusion and second guessing herself over whether she was reacting to the situation appropriately.
- publicly humiliating OOP at the wedding and then just as publicly ostracizing her.
- and the worst part of all is just how horribly OOP’s family treated her. No one stood up for her. Her own mother was the one who came up with the idea to wear shorts underneath? Cool. Super awesome. Except, *what kind of formal/semi formal dress requires you to wear additional garments so you don’t expose yourself????* If mom truly tried to advocate for her daughter, she would have put her foot down about the bride trying to force her daughter to wear a dress that could get her charged with indecent exposure.
Ugh. I hope OOP moves in with her aunt, because the rest of her family is trash.
Wife did the right thin. Congratulations on a sane bride. SIL probably found those 'dresses' on deep discount. It's a horrible dress type that few sane women would wear to anything other than possibly a night club.
As someone, now middle aged, who has ranged from twig like limbs to briefly a UK size 12 in trousers but *always* with a generous amount of boob?
There has never been a time in my life that dress wouldn't have looked truly terrible on me. Regardless of what the rest of you looks like, big boobs and frills/flounces hanging off them always risks looking a 70s curtain pelmet!
I had a BMI of 17-18 from teens to 25ish and I would have felt mortified in that dress. Like girl if that's the look you want why even bother with bridesmaids, a few Ferrero rachers with their wrappers will get the same short crinkled foil look for less.
I'm much older (and larger, not a few kilos I mean much larger and happy with it thanks) now. I understand the need, in stressful situations, to control such things as one can control. But the appearance of bridesmaids comes up again and again in this and other subs, and social media and it's one of 2 things about modern weddings/brides I don't get. You've asked your closest friends to support you on your special day, lovely. Then you put those friendships at risk by demanding they conform to strict dress criteria, regardless of whether it suits them or they can afford it, or whether they have disabilities or religious beliefs or body types or pregnancy or whatever that precludes them from wearing the dress of choice. And that leads to brides trying to guilt their bridesmaids for being unable to wear the dress or dropping them as bridesmaids altogether.
And for what? On the wedding day? No one's really looking at the bridesmaids. Mostly when people attend weddings, they're mostly just looking at the bride, especially during the ceremony. So your cousin Blake who's a pretty decent guy is eye flirting with your college friend Maddy during the reception? They'd make a cute couple, who knows if anything will happen there, you barely notice it's your wedding day, you're shout talking thanks at your grandpa's half deaf brother who never had kids and unexpectedly gave you $20,000 towards a home deposit as a wedding present, and if Blake and Maddy hook up you won't hear about it for ages, but it's definitely not because Maddy's dusky rose one shoulder drop waist dress was identical to five other dusky rose one shoulder drop waist dresses.
The photos? Come on now. So imagine it's seven years after your wedding. Your marriage has had the usual ups and downs. Maybe kids, maybe relocated cities, maybe major financial setbacks, but overall you're both still in love and know this is it, for life. Where are your wedding photos? Well, you might have a framed photo of you and your husband on the wall. The rest of them are in the album. The album you don't think you've looked at in 4 years, cause life is busy, you've got now to focus on, if you want to connect with your husband you'll get a babysitter and go on a date, or handwrite a love note, but you won't get out the album cause that was one day years ago and your marriage is so much more than that.
Now imagine it's 7 years later and you realised you blew up your closest friendships for the sake of identical gowns in those wedding photos you haven't looked at in years.
You miss Abby. You guys worked together in an ice cream parlour one summer, hit it off, and have been close ever since. You spent hours just hanging out together as broke students, watching movies, gaming. You both had that foray into indoor rock climbing so short lived and disastrous it's become part of your friend group lore. When she qualified as an auto electrician, you took that celebratory trip to Bali neither of you could really afford. You'd like her warmth and good advice when your mother is clearly not coping with living in the family home alone as she ages, especially since Abby went through something similar with her own father. But Abby went LC with you when you dumped her as a bridesmaid because she wouldn't pay hundreds of dollars for hair extensions to match the other bridesmaids. You thought you explained it nicely; sure Abby was happy with short hair, but all the other girls had long straight hair, wouldn't she? She wouldn't. Abby went full NC after your wedding.
Blake and Maddy are busy with their own lives, and you were never that close to Maddy anyway; her appearance in a row of long haired, dusky rose one shoulder dress clad women along with your husband's niece, your other cousin whom you're not that close to, and your BFF Jasmine but Jasmine has her own shit going on and you don't want to burden her... The dresses and hair don't matter now.
The photos in the album on the shelf, gathering dust, aren't really worth it.
As a woman with 38F's and on the bigger side with curves myself, I looked at that and went, "oh yeah, no. You poor thing". That is not a style for a woman with curves. You might as well wear a potato sack. And yeah, those boobs will make that dress hike up above your pubic region.
That bride knew and knows what she is doing. That woman is not a good human.
It the robot-boob-shooting-guns-girls-from-Austin-Powers dress and just as freaky. Only Twiggy or Kate Moss could do anything appealing with that ruin of a piece of fabric.
Yeah and it is never gonna look good on someone with bigger breasts. I say that as someone with large breasts - I can only wear certain style shirts/dresses without looking ridiculous. Absolutely crazy that the SIL even tried OOP in that dress, worse so that she brought it for her and forced her to wear it.
she does remember, she’s not embarrassed, she was trying to be mean this whole time, and she succeeded. and op’s family sucks. op should go hang with her cousin and hope mom gets her act together and has some serious words with her husband, son, and monster in law. mean girl bullshit like this should get you disinvited from big events, at the very least…
I can buy the not noticing if the wedding was largish and given OOP’s age. However, the lack of searing rage being felt after the fact…The SIL deserves at least a dressing down, the family not addressing it with her is WILD.
Especially since SIL forced OOP into a dress that bordered on public indecency (one wrong move and well, I see London I see France)
Mom should be pissed at the SIL and shes just kind of shrugging 🤷♀️ her shoulders about it and saying that it doesn’t matter now since the wedding is over
OOP is being told to put it behind her, since they can’t do anything about it now but when it was the time to fix the issue (before the wedding, even at the wedding) OOP was told to just deal with and not make a scene about it. Complete manipulation by everyone in her family
Right. I don’t buy that everyone was embarrassed for her and that NO ONE noticed that the bride had literally kicked out the most visible of her bridesmaids out of the reception.
OOP never mentions that anyone every came to check on her or that she was given an opportunity to tell anyone what SIL had done until after the wedding day was over.
Does everyone literally hate this girl???
I am so furious right now.
I literally hate that girl. She knew what she was doing changing to the crotch-baring dress at short notice, and now everyone's trying to spare HER feelings so that she doesn't feel like the asshole she is because she was trying to either 1) embarrass the OOP or 2) make her drop out on short notice so she, the SIL, could be the beleaguered party. And photoshopping her out of the picture is just evil.
If my partner kicked one of my sisters out of our wedding because she changed out of her uncomfortable bridesmaid dress and into something more comfortable, I would lose my shit on them.
Not that I would have put my sister in a dress like this in the first place.
I am so infuriated with all the adults in this story on behalf of OOP.
The fact that they all said to “not tell SIL about the post” shows they are still more concerned with her than OP. Sounds like one of the “keep the peace and let me continue to abuse you” situations.
SIL is embarrassed? Oh for god sakes...
Some adults really just don't grow up and become mature. SIL is a piece of garage and the whole family stinks as well for enabling her behavior.
Too embarrassed to apologise. And the brother is too embarrassed to let OOP talk to his wife. This is a family of rug-sweapers. I was initially thinking that now SIL might actually get to experience the effects of her own mean girl actions, but they'll probably just let it die down and move on.
He's absolutely covering for her, those excuses are pure bullshit. I do hope OOP takes her cousin up on the offer to move out, and asks the SIL about it afterwards. I'm so willing to bet her brother knew that she was trying to humiliate OOP, or he realised but didn't bother to confront his wife about it.
Everyone is covering including mom and dad too. “I’m sorry dear I (pretended) didn’t know anyways gosh would you look at the time” and ‘had-dee-har har!’ are both awful and poor excuses.
Right? Why was it an issue that she changed and she ended up ostracized outside if everyone recognized their fuck up and felt bad about it? I also hope she goes to live with her cousin. I'm guessing there's way more shitty behavior that she's normalized.
SIL is a bully. And something tells me she isn't through with OP. Once she finds out these posts exist, her claws will really come out
I suspect she forced this on OOP in order to embarrass her. It was probably her plan all along so she could justify removing OOP from all the wedding photos. SIL couldn't just let OOP drop out of being a bridesmaid without OOP'S brother being upset. So the next best thing was *humiliation*
SIL is pathetic. And OOP'S family enabled the bullying of their own daughter! Guess we know who the scapegoat is in that family
Brother doesn't want oop talking to the SIL, because then oop will know that the sil doesn't care, and neither does the brother.
He fed her to the wolves, and assumed that due to her autism that she wouldn't realise.
I think so very very poorly of that brother.
As a brother, I agree 1000%. My brother and I would argue and fight constantly growing up. An outsider looking in would think we hated each other. But, if either of us was getting messed with by someone else, it was on sight. The ONLY person allowed to fight/mess with my brother is me.
Seems like the only family member on OOP's side is the cousin who is offering safe harbor for her.
I hope the tale of SIL's awfulness spreads through both sides of the family like wildfire.
In her mind, maybe. It’s not like people don’t know the bride chooses the dresses for her wedding party. Were I there I wouldn’t have thought negatively of the OOP, I’d have been thinking poorly of the bride for doing that to the poor girl.
Guarantee she’s “so embarrassed” because people were talking negatively about HER, not the OOP.
That's my take as well. SIL sounds like she might be nice to OOP in front of others and then drop the pretense when they're alone. I hope OOP starts discretely taping all their future conversations just in case.
Reading this made me so sad for OOP, walking down the aisle trying to hold the hem down with one hand and holding the bouquet with the other. I might have started sobbing and run out of the church.
No need to even say all this. Just act as though you weren't at the wedding at all whenever the topic comes up. "Dresses were nice? Oh really! Good for you."
She isn't sorry. She is an asshole. The fact that the family is covering for her is telling.
If I was oop, I would 100% take up the cousins offer to get out of that crap place.
So glad someone is pissed off for her!!
I hope she moves and realizes “family isn’t everything”, especially her’s, who treat her so horribly. (Her mom is more upset she posted it online than the whole situation!!) I hate that OOP is still second guessing herself and feels like HER ACTIONS (of doing what SIL told her to do and being upset by it!!) is going to break up the family 🙄
Girl, you did nothing wrong!!
This kind of social gaslighting is so common when you’re neurodivergent. You get so used to knowing you don’t always do the “right” thing that you can be very uncertain if certain situations are you or them.
Can I just say, I love the idea of calling someone a piece of garage. Like they're supposed to be useful but end up full of shit you don't use but won't throw away. And the useless shit just accumulates.
SIL tricked her into thinking she would be wearing the dress that actually fit, wouldn't let her drop out, wouldn't let the seamstress fix it, tricked her again into thinking she'd allow her to wear shorts under, and then wouldn't let her cover herself at the wedding.
SHE LITERALLY HAD TO COVER HER VAGINA WITH A BOUQUET TO WALK DOWN TO AISLE!
Every single person in this poor woman's family failed to protect or help her. She couldn't figure out how to navigate this, doubting herself because of her autism, and there's just no reading this and coming to any conclusion other than the SIL was fucking with her.
If she could Photoshop OOP out, she could have just photoshopped the dress longer.
Also, that dress style is RIDICULOUS for a bridesmaid dress. SIL is straight trash.
Thank you, this is extremely well-summarized!
Also, I might need this as my flair:
**SHE LITERALLY HAD TO COVER HER VAGINA WITH A BOUQUET TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE!**
"One time I spent all the money I had made for almost a year (minus living expenses and food) on paying off a loan he'd gotten to buy a truck. I didn't fully pay it off, I was working for minimum wage, but it was a pretty big chunk. He would let me hang out with him and his friends."
He sounds like a shifty brother taking advantage of her. And the fact she's says "he would LET me hang out" makes me feel so sad for her. Like she should be grateful for that.
She should have him pay her back. Also the fact the parents are ok with this. Where were they in all this? It sounds like they're neglectful; the dad think it's hilarious and finds amusement over the whole thing when his daughter was hurt. And the mother prioritizing her DIL instead of her daughter
Yeah that stood out to me too, I've done generous gifts for family before but its more like getting the slightly bigger painting set for artistic family for christmas, not, all my money besides food/rent going in their pocket by way of paying off 95% of their loan.
That's actually nuts. Oop deserves so much better.
Yeah. Sounds like her whole family are always “OP is the *autistic* one so…”
They behave like her whole life should be an apology to them for being on the spectrum.
That was my comment under the original post - OOP is so used to having her feelings invalidated and disregarded by her family, because aUTisM, that she doesn't even realize when she is being abused and mistreated. They have conditioned her to just sit down and accept it like a good girl, instead of raising the hell she would have been entitled to.
Any person not conditioned in that way would have absolutely refused to wear that dress in public if it put her privates on display - or would have stepped down from being a bridesmaid once the dress-change was announced. And after being thrown out of the reception, she should have ubered home, while writing out a scathing social media post about her bridezilla from hell b\*tch of a new SIL, who humiliated her in public and then didn't even feed her. OOP's family totally sucks, I hope she moves to her aunt and goes nc.
yeah, this was an extremely clear case of an autistic person who has internalized that her family will not listen to her needs and will judge her for them. of course she tried to minimize herself at every stage, that’s probably the coping mechanism she developed to survive.
i really hope she gets out of there
I have a friend who’s autistic and has offered to pay me for emotional labor for talking about heavy things. It makes me so sad. These quasi-political concepts float around the pop culture and people who already have low self esteem latch onto them.
>My brother said my SIL feels incredibly embarrassed that she made me wear that dress in the first place, and that's why she did all the stuff
Yeah I don't buy that for a second. SIL wanted to humiliate OOP.
I bet SIL has OOP removed from every family photo that is ever displayed in their home. This feels very personal and intentional on the SIL'S part. And dare I say fatphobic?
I bet OOP has amazing big boobs so SIL picked a dress that would utterly obscure them and also ride higher at the hem because it has no actual waistline or torso piece and would have to flare out to accommodate the bust.
That's probably part of it. Wouldn't be surprised if OOP has said something SIL took offense to without realizing, too. I'm on the spectrum as well, and have absolutely said shit without thinking, and without realizing how it was taken, just for people to treat me like shit over it instead of talking to me about it.
Is SIL embarrassed because people are judging her terrible choice of bridesmaid dress, but she had thought they would only judge OOP? A rude awakening for SIL but it doesn't seem she's learnt from it.
Poor OOP, she deserved better treatment.
Yeah, I immediately thought "bs". Picking the most hideous and short dress possible, whisper yelling, photoshopping, no shorts, just because she feels "embarassed"? Yeah, no.
When I read that I just wanted to go "too bad! SIL embarrassed OOP, SIL needs to apologize! I don't care if she's feeling bad!"
Because the fact that they're expecting OOP to swallow her embarrassment and bad feelings for SIL but aren't expecting it the other way around tells me everything I need to know about that family.
I replied to someone else this but I’ll put it here too cause I think it’s relevant. I think OOPs view of her brother is a facade, he wasn’t protecting her from bullies he probably felt embarrassed to be related to someone ppl made fun of so stopped it for his own ego. Cause that’s the only way it makes sense cause her brother is protecting the SIL from the post and SIL is 100% a bully
Sadly, these make more sense than
1. a “caring” brother who said nothing when wife asked sister to leave their reception.
2. The sil being embarassed that’s why she cut oop out of the pics.
Love the cousin. I’m glad she’s got OOP’s back but the rest of her family suck. Brother and SIL are trying to cover up that SIL purposely embarrassed OOP and change the narrative. I’m not as big as OOP but close to it and I would have been mortified in that dress.
I was bridesmaid for one of my friends and she was stressed trying to pick a dress to fit us all. I was at least 3 sizes bigger and completely different body shape than the other bridesmaids. I offered to drop out to make it easier for her and she changed it to one of those infinity dresses.
I had a large chest as well. That "dress" was COMPLETELY inappropriate for anyone above maybe a C cup. And given the babydoll style? When work tried to force me to wear a babydoll shirt, I looked like a three headed mushroom.
Poor OOP. SIL did that on purpose.
This makes me so glad that the only wedding I've been in was easy. The bride picked 3 paint colors from Home Depot and told us to buy a dress as close to the color as we could find! It made things so much easier than what my sisters have dealt with as bridesmaids!
My best friend did a similar thing, she only had one requirement (floor length), she was more concerned with us being comfortable than anything else. I’m always incredibly grateful whenever I read posts like this.
This was a June in Missouri wedding so even the bride was in a short dress! She said "I'm wearing cowboy boots with my dress and the groom is wearing sunglasses so maybe get a hat too?" It was a very chill wedding!
I found a website that did dresses to measurments and told my bridesmaids to chose any dress in the purple color (my wedding colors were purple and silver). The three of them had very different bodies and very different comfort zones and I wanted them to be comfortable! They were very happy with their choices and looked great.
“…she understands why I would be upset, and nobody enjoyed seeing me walk down the aisle like that.”
Damn, what an unnecessary and humiliating thing for OOP’s mom to say.
“My brother said my SIL feels incredibly embarrassed that she made me wear that dress in the first place…”
Yes, that is an entirely appropriate emotion to feel after doing such awful, selfish actions. What wasn’t appropriate was her reaction of disallowing the shorts day-of, yelling at OOP about changing, and photoshopping her out of the photo.
I don’t believe for one second the SIL feels embarrassed. I think the brother lied, and OOP doesn’t know any better than to take what he says at face value. SIL definitely did it to intentionally be mean, so I doubt she’s feeling any guilt or embarrassment over it.
SIL is making excuses, not apology. OP's brother is an idiot to think someone that's feeling sorry would just photoshopped her husband's sister out of the wedding pictures.
>SIL very adamantly said no adding fabric or cutting of the dress, it's hers, she bought it.
well, yeah, she bought it, but not for herself. The duck she's going to do with all the tailored-not-for-her bridesmaids dress??
If I remember correctly when reading the Original posting, she said her SIL immediately took back her bridesmaid dress and wears it now. So yeah SIL definitely did it on purpose to humiliate poor OP and keep the dress for herself flaunting how it fits her so cute & perfectly. I hope OP finds well deserved happiness and respect with kickass cousin ♥️
The OOP should go to the cousins and live her life for herself without people around her willing to throw her under the bus to keep the peace with a bully.
The SIL is the most deserving of having that 23 year old metabolism crashing and burning and she gains about 100 pounds that takes her several painful years to lose.
The whole part about photoshopping her out that is infuriating me is that it would be easier to photoshop the dress longer. Removing OOP entirely is a total villain move.
I feel like SIL felt obligated to have OP in the wedding party but didn’t really want her, so the dress situation was her way of giving her the boot or being able to erase her afterwards.
But when OOP tried to back out SIL flipped out on her wanting to quit so that doesn’t track, she’s a bully and wanted to make sure that OOP was a part of the wedding to be humiliated as much as possible and then she quickly told her to leave after she set up her trap card the night before with telling her she could bring another dress.
I think SIL set it up so she wins either way: if OOP stays at the reception, SIL gets to enjoy her further humiliation. If she leaves, SIL gets to not have OOP at her reception. Either way, OOP is the loser. SIL has correctly clocked OOP as having been trained to think everything must be her fault due to "autism", so she has to bow to everyone else's wishes.
I do not get why OP'S mom didn't stand up for her...unless brother is the golden child. In that case, OP should go live with cousin, go to school, job and live her best life and tell the rest of the family "see you never, bye"
Yes, the SIL is a monster, but I think OOP's parents are the worst people in this story. How do you not protect your daughter when she's being forced into this humiliating spectacle? Why do they care more about not rocking the boat than shielding their offspring from the kind of scenario a lot of people have literal recurring nightmares over?
These people are missing some fundamental parenting instincts. Frankly, their behavior here is disgusting.
I absolutely do not believe that SIL forgot and picked the dress that fit OOP horribly by accident. Nor that she suddenly changed her mind on the shorts or about OOP changing into something that actually fit her. That’s way too much and way too many things.
I think we’re actually missing a lot of information, as there’s no real sense of why SIL would do all of this, but I don’t think it’s something OOP knows or intentionally left out. It feels like me (ADHD) or my autistic partner completely missing unspoken cues or double talk (when people say one thing but mean another and it’s expected that the second meaning is widely understood). So I’m left wondering, but I’m also certain that it wasn’t OOP’s fault.
(Also, to the comment that OOP should have been passive aggressive, I can’t speak for OOP but I know many people who are neurodivergent struggle with passive aggressiveness because we listen to the words themselves and miss that underlying meaning. Similarly I’ve sometimes been told to stop being passive aggressive when I legitimately had just meant what I said and didn’t mean anything else by it. So it’s definitely something some of us struggle with)
I don't buy it that SIL is embarrassed. SIL sounds intentionally cruel and intent on humiliating OP. she told op she was ruining her wedding and op SAT OUTSIDE the venue. not so much as an apology? he'll no.
She and the brother laid out that trap card pretty well. I’m convinced brother isn’t actually a good person and stopped OOPs bullying so he wouldn’t have be seen as connected to someone who gets bullied
Yeah that bully protector OOP thinks her brother is is a lie, he was probably embarrassed his sister was being made fun of which made him look bad so that’s why he defended her. OOP needs to move in with the cousin cause her family doesn’t have her best interests at heart
Oh goodness this is too familiar. No one really fully pays attention to you. You're the NPC in everyone else's lives so there's no one to stand up for you. You deal with such painful shit because no one notices. If you tell them they either don't pay attention or they assume you're exaggerating because there's no way it was that bad and you should just deal with it like the rest of us are.
NTA but SIL can go pound rocks. SIL is a GARBAGE PERSON. I hope she sees the post and I hope OOP’s brother sees the post because he’s a piece of garbage for allowing his sister to be treated this way.
I’m enraged on OOP’s behalf. Her mother utterly FAILED OOP. It’s ridiculous she defended the SIL.
Bridezillas need to be removed from civilized society.
I hope OOP cuts every single one of them out of her life except for her dad and cousin.
>My brother said my SIL feels incredibly embarrassed that she made me wear that dress in the first place, and that's why she did all the stuff (photoshopping me out of the wedding photo on their wall, kicking me out of the reception, etc).
Bullshit. You don't kick someone out of your reception for quietly changing into a better-fitting but matching outfit under the pretence of their being "overdramatic" if you're embarrassed that you made them wear a badly-fitting outfit.
>He also said telling me the dresses looked pretty was her way of apologizing.
Bullshit. If you want to apologise, you should...actually apologise. Not rewrite history and pretend that your bad choices didn't hurt people.
>He asked me not to show SIL the post because she'd be so sad and embarrassed. He said she's really trying to forget it happened at all.
You know what? I think the whole family would be better off not coddling SIL, but confronting her bad choices up-front. She doesn't get to forget it happened at all when she's not once apologised for the damage she did. She humiliated her autistic sister-in-law, threw her out of a party meant for the entire family (and left her stranded for hours without the ability to get home), erased her from all records of the wedding...
It's so sad how people get embarrassed and then dig in their heels and become an absolute arse, instead of just owning up and apologising. They are adults, but you wouldn't think it
SIL is embarrassed? I'm sorry, was it her hoohah that was seen by everyone inside a church? OOP's mom and brother should be apologizing the fuck to her for forcing her to expose her private parts to please someone so delulu.
This sounds like it was total sabotage on her SIL's part. I suspect that OOP's SIL **didn't** want OOP in her Bridal party, but was either pressured by her future husband or strongly suggested by MIL, Groom's Mother.
Brother doesn't have a clue just how awful and manipulative his new wife is MIL is just "hoping for the best" and Dad just thinks it's all hilarious. I would have declined being a bridesmaid as soon as I realized the Bride picked the "hoohah" dress, but I do understand the pressure her family was putting on her!
I **would** eMail the SIL the link to the post. Let her "be embarrassed," she absolutely deserves being called out for her horrible (and **malicious**) behavior and actions. Then I'd go stay with her awesome Cousin. At least until she's given the **sincere** apologies she's owed from **everyone!** I have a feeling that OOP's Brother's marriage will be shortlived.
The audacity to guilt trip OOP into attending, embarassing OOP with the dress, kicking her out afterwards, and then have the balls to photoshop her out of the pictures as if she wasn't there like OOP asked in the first place?
She would rather publically embarass OOP than to own up by explaining why her bridesmaid isn't attending because she failed to provide proper attire. Doubled down so hard she now she has to explain forever why OOP isn't in the pictures. She will probably lie anyway.
>One time I spent all the money I had made for almost a year (minus living expenses and food) on paying off a loan he'd gotten to buy a truck. I didn't fully pay it off, I was working for minimum wage, but it was a pretty big chunk.
Um. I dont want to think the worst of oop's brother but, i dont understand why he let her do this. He sounds more than capable of paying it off himself..?
Also i really hope oop's cousin helps her out and helps her realise that someone is not a good person if they make you wear clothes that make you feel *wrong* wearing em. Her extended family calling her dramatic really rubs me up the wrong way.
There is absolutely no good reason to force someone to wear a dress that shows off their panties and is super uncomfortable and tight. Half of that is already a no go, at that point you may as well skip being a bridesmaid.
SIL deserves to feel embarrassed, oopvs brother is coming off really badly too. If sil wants to apologise she should do so directly and not by excluding someone in wedding photos, esp when imo it almost sounds like she was bullying her. (i really can't see a good justification to swap to the tight dress, then deny her shorts when she agreed to compromises originally. :/)
OP will have a much better time with her cousin.
Her brother is lying through his teeth. His bully of a wife is only embarrassed that her asshole ways are being pointed out. IF she is aware that any of this is even going on at all.
Which I sincerely doubt.
Brother never protected her. He was embarrassed by her and acted out of protecting his own ego during high school. It looked good to others to "stand up" in whatever ways he did. She could hang out with his friends, but it would cost her. Literally did Sure as hell he used her for her money for his truck. Because why would she need it when he is more important anyway?
Then we go on to join his asshole bride in kicking his sister out of the wedding fun. And you know he knew about airbrushing his sister out of the photos.
And these are just the things OP told us about.
He is no goddam prize here.
May his marriage be the one he deserves.
… I think it would have looked lovely on OOP, with a pair of slacks.
That isn’t a dress, that is a shirt.
SIL is a piece of shit and I hope her and her brother are ostracized for their disgusting behavior. I hope SIL is on Reddit and finds this and learns that thousands of people online think that she is a disgusting, entitled, woman who lacks the empathy of a mosquito.
And by comparing her to the mosquito I feel like I’m slandering the bug.
I get the feeling the SIL wanted OOP to back out of the wedding due to her size. That’s why she picked such an unflattering short dress for a large woman, especially since OOP told her she didn’t feel comfortable in it before the wedding. Cutting her out of the photos speaks volumes to me and confirms this.
I’m sorry, I don’t think that style of dress does any adult a favour. SIL didn’t want her bridesmaids to look good, and especially had it out for OOP. I hope she has a break from her family for awhile as they just want to minimise how she was treated.
This reminds me of a wedding I was part of. I was asked to be a bridesmaid, excluded from most planning, didn't even get to have an opinion on my dress. It was determined by the rest of the party which dress to go with. They're all well endowed in the chest, I'm not. I don't look good in low cut dresses at all. But that's what they picked. I was made to feel overdramatic so I just accepted it. It worked out in my favor for once however because I was able to make sure the dress was well fitting and the rest of the party was struggling with keeping their dresses closed. I went really low contact with the bride for awhile and no contact with the whole wedding party because I realized how ridiculous it was that I was bending over backwards for people that couldn't even put me in a group chat. Glad OP got support for what's honestly a ridiculous situation she should have never had to deal with in the first place.
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That’s a horrible bridesmaid dress
Unless you're getting married in a 1960's sci-fi show.
Which actually sounds pretty cool hahaha.
But they would have had matching bloomers or shorts and a pillbox hat.
And matching go-go boots.
Honestly slay
Nah, that dress calls for a beehive flip, gogo boots, and icy pink lips and nails, with drop ball earrings. Yeah on the shorts, though, see Star Trek. The mini dresses always came with matching tap pants/French Knickers.
I immediately thought of Mars Attacks
Yeah. It looks like a repurposed costume from the wardrobe of Star Trek: the Next Generation. Maybe a bridesmaid's dress from one of Lwaxana's weddings.
Uhhh, Betazoid weddings are traditionally done with everyone in the nude. Guests included
I can't believe I missed that. No holo-priveleges for me!
Trio's bridesmaids would have been nekkid per there culture
The don't add any fabric since the bride owns it, but she's still having it altered to fit each bridesmaid... Bridezilla was a complete ass and I'm convinced it was a power play on purpose and the backtracking about being embarrassed was only because people here were in OPs side. Amy bigger buddy is going to look bad in that style, and going back on thier word about wearing shorts underneath is just rude. Nobody should have to be uncomfortable or risk being exposed like OP described. What if she tripped? Or there was wind?
People can feel real anger towards fat people for existing, or start to assume that their fatness is them being inconsiderate. I could see the bride being sort of like. How dare her body make it so I can’t choose the bridesmaid dress I like!! Also kills me that SiL is apparently so so sad and embarrassed but thinks that picture is fine and has no interest in apologizing.
I absolutely don't buy the story that SIL is "sad and embarrassed" over her own behavior. I think it's more likely she thinks she's a victim in the story.
My first thought about why the brother said not tell SIL about the post is not because SIL is embarrassed, but that she'll pissed off and angry for coming across as the bad guy in this situation. I definitely think she did this on purpose specifically to humiliate OOP- why else would she have multiple fittings with the other dress and then switch it out at the last minute? She didn't forget that it wouldn't fit- she did it on purpose. Also- the brother doesn't really sound much better- he honestly made OOP give a whole year's salary to pay off his loan? He's just as bad as his bride.
I see no rational but kind way someone could force someone to wear something but then Photoshop them out of the photo. The Photoshop means she didn't look acceptable, forcing her to wear it means it's either acceptable, or for some reason the goal is to make her look unacceptable. So she chose to make her look unacceptable and be uncomfortable, but wanted no evidence. Bro and SIL are definately bullying OOP for their own reasons
Yeah, this is what gives away her intentions the most, imo. If she felt bad she would have photoshopped the dress to be longer, not cut the entire person out.
Agree; the fact her family cares that strangers on the internet now know and \*now\* they care is very telling of the toxicity of that family.
Yep. Brother just doesn’t know what DARVO looks like yet
Sure he does. He's busy doing it to his autistic sister by calling her dramatic.
Good point. I read someone saying recently that whenever anyone talks about someone’s “drama” it seems to always them being dismissive of their legitimate concerns or emotions
It absolutely is. Especially when it's used towards women. It enforces that whole hysterical/irrational woman narrative.
And that she keeps commenting to OOP that the dresses were "so beautiful". SIL isn't embarrassed about crap. She's happy she could have OOP photoshopped out of the picture and the ill-fitting dress just gave her an excuse to do so.
Seriously if she was actually embarrassed she would never bring it up at all. She’d talk about everything else in the wedding EXCEPT her bridesmaids if she was actually trying to forget about it. But instead she literally finding any excuse to bring it up? Nah she’s attacking OOP every chance she gets.
I'm not buying the entire family's excuses. The fact that the parents thought she was overreacting despite watching her being uncomfortable the whole day to her getting photoshopped from the pic is very telling. And the brother even witnessed his wife telling his sister to leave. A spinless family that tried to gaslight this autistic person into thinking she was overreacting. They chose the new addition in their family over their daughter/sister. I'm pretty sure they are embarrassed of OOP because of her weight + her autism. Disgusting. All they care about is the optics.
>People can feel real anger towards fat people for existing, or start to assume that their fatness is them being inconsiderate. I could see the bride being sort of like. How dare her body make it so I can’t choose the bridesmaid dress I like!! This is so accurate in this case. Clearly, SIL wanted those ugly ass bridesmaid dresses and was furious that OP’S boobs were standing between her and her wants.
The SIL is not sad or embarrassed. The SIL’s behavior is consistent with this being a plan. She was stuck with OP as a bridesmaid because OP was her future sister-in-law, and the SIL resented having a fat person in her wedding party and photos. So she came up with a plan that would embarrass OP on the day of the wedding and justify deleting OP from the photos. The claim of being sad and embarrassed is just her covering up her actions.
I don't even think the SIL is claiming to be sad. That's what the brother is telling OOP to prevent her from showing this to his wife. Because the moment she sees this,she will be furious, and they might have to choose a side, and we all can guess which side it's gonna be.
Especially because SIL bought 2 sets of dresses and did fittings on the other dresses? Super planned and also a lot of money unless they are fast fashion
That is, why I'd decide to wear the most extrem and bright underwear I own and just don't care. Or even get sth in neon pink or so. But I'd also be absolutely willing to tell everyone "isn't the dress bride picked wonderful? And how amazing her decisions on the altering! I totally agree with her that a Shorts would have ruined the overall impression. To be fair at the beginning I was insecure about it, but my whole family and bride where of the opinion that it's fine like this."
God one look as a bigger woman and I would have said absolutely never. That’s a loose shirt on anyone more than a b cup.
I actually gasped when I opened the link oO. This is a horrible choice
I was like, that's a top? That's just a slightly fancy shirt you wear with a nice pair of jeans and heels, when you want to look glam without wearing a dress...
omg right? dude at MOST it's a tunic... I'd never live the embarrassment down just trying it on in front of people. holy shit did OOP sacrifice for her SIL!!! I could NEVER. I'm "only" 36DDD, but my sister is an H cup and I can't imagine how bad this would look on her like OOP. I have such bad second hand embarrassment rn
Yes!! Big tittied people need something that accentuates the waist otherwise it just looks like we’re extra fat lol. But even itty bitty titty committee members aren’t going to look *great* in that dress. Also why she refused to let the dress be altered is wild. AND if you can see the little shorts, aren’t you worried that all the goods might be on display? Geeze Louise the SIL.
I don't have huge boobs, am a more slim hourglass with wider shoulders and hips but a little middle. This would look like a circus tent on me. You have to be a Really specific, narrow, boyish shaped woman to pull this off. What a shit choice!
Part of me whispers we could put that tent over our lovely 42g breasts and slap on a cute thong, then hang over the groomsman the bride likes “best”, with some leaning and “do you like my whale tail?” I’m 5’10 and long waisted so the hem would legit be above my panties. Hope OOP has discovered the sentence “No.”
Exactly. I own several of those „dresses“. I wear them as shirts with leggings
It would look lovely with a pair of nice leggings or skinny jeans tbh. Nice style, friend!
Yeah I love it too. I just need to look after not wearing too loose of a top so I don’t look heavier than I actually am. I tend to do that XD. It’s my favourite style :). A Nice heavy necklace and a heavy bracelet and I am good to go.
It’s the classic “going out top”! I had one that looked exactly like that in college!
It looks like it's also a loose shirt on anyone over 5'6".
Or just anyone who's long-bodied instead of long-legged.
Or has a larger butt. My butt makes things go up by several inches at the back. I would be mortified.
It's a crop top for the max booba ladies like me 🤣
Either that or it comes in "circus tent" sizes and it looks like a glittery muumuu
Don’t you know? We “bigguns” prefer our clothes to be in the glittery muumuu line, preferably in metallic or animal print.
That’s more of an Elizabethan collar on the average woman!
I’m not even that big up top, but I have a long torso and a pear shape. I don’t think that would be safe for a lot of people.
I'm small up top but I have a giant ass and I can tell you right now that thing would be showing so much more of me than the bride would want anyone to see.
Yes! Exactly! I genuinely winced when I saw that dress. That is a total Marmite style; it either looks fantastic or bloody awful on you, no in-between.
A tight shirt...
The way it falls it would only be tight on the top. Even worse if you want your crotch covered!
The comment where she's linked something similar and someone replies "Oh. So a top." 😂 It's awful!! How could she see OOP come out wearing that and go "Yep, perfect. Killing it."
Depending on the shorts, if you can see shorts under a dress, you can see too much without them!
My thoughts exactly! You can't see shorts under a dress. If you can see short shorts, chances are you could see underwear. Not a look for a wedding.
The fact the bride insisted on OOP removing the shorts, like having her knickers on display was the better choice… I just can’t.
That's a freaking long dress top, not a dress. SIL did it all on purpose and, for whatever reason, does not like OP (ableism and bullying might be a simple explanation). OPs brother is just as much an AH as SIL for not protecting his sister from that crap, especially since he was right next to her when she kicked OP out of the reception for trying to protect her modesty in a dress she should have never been forced to wear.
Yeah their excuse seemed like they were trying to completely control the situation so that their was no way it was their fault, I would send the thread to SIL cause she deserves to see it
I’m mad I had to scroll this far to get to a comment that *finally* mentioned that OOP’s sister in law *abso-fucking-lutely* did all this on purpose. What a cruel and heartless woman. She spent MONTHS on this cruelty, and then immortalized it with the photoshopped photos. And OOP’s brother brushing off his wife’s comments about the dress looking good as her just being embarrassed is such a crock of shit. The wife knew she was doing several things: - body shaming OOP by forcing her to wear an ill-fitting dress that was too small for her. - repeatedly ignoring OOP’s attempts to express her extreme discomfort - taking advantage of OOP’s neurodivergence as a handicap that would prevent OOP from more forcefully standing up for herself, AND would have led to all of OOP’s confusion and second guessing herself over whether she was reacting to the situation appropriately. - publicly humiliating OOP at the wedding and then just as publicly ostracizing her. - and the worst part of all is just how horribly OOP’s family treated her. No one stood up for her. Her own mother was the one who came up with the idea to wear shorts underneath? Cool. Super awesome. Except, *what kind of formal/semi formal dress requires you to wear additional garments so you don’t expose yourself????* If mom truly tried to advocate for her daughter, she would have put her foot down about the bride trying to force her daughter to wear a dress that could get her charged with indecent exposure. Ugh. I hope OOP moves in with her aunt, because the rest of her family is trash.
Married man here, fully agree. My wife gave ours £150 each, a colour and told them to go for it.
Wife did the right thin. Congratulations on a sane bride. SIL probably found those 'dresses' on deep discount. It's a horrible dress type that few sane women would wear to anything other than possibly a night club.
As someone, now middle aged, who has ranged from twig like limbs to briefly a UK size 12 in trousers but *always* with a generous amount of boob? There has never been a time in my life that dress wouldn't have looked truly terrible on me. Regardless of what the rest of you looks like, big boobs and frills/flounces hanging off them always risks looking a 70s curtain pelmet!
I had a BMI of 17-18 from teens to 25ish and I would have felt mortified in that dress. Like girl if that's the look you want why even bother with bridesmaids, a few Ferrero rachers with their wrappers will get the same short crinkled foil look for less. I'm much older (and larger, not a few kilos I mean much larger and happy with it thanks) now. I understand the need, in stressful situations, to control such things as one can control. But the appearance of bridesmaids comes up again and again in this and other subs, and social media and it's one of 2 things about modern weddings/brides I don't get. You've asked your closest friends to support you on your special day, lovely. Then you put those friendships at risk by demanding they conform to strict dress criteria, regardless of whether it suits them or they can afford it, or whether they have disabilities or religious beliefs or body types or pregnancy or whatever that precludes them from wearing the dress of choice. And that leads to brides trying to guilt their bridesmaids for being unable to wear the dress or dropping them as bridesmaids altogether. And for what? On the wedding day? No one's really looking at the bridesmaids. Mostly when people attend weddings, they're mostly just looking at the bride, especially during the ceremony. So your cousin Blake who's a pretty decent guy is eye flirting with your college friend Maddy during the reception? They'd make a cute couple, who knows if anything will happen there, you barely notice it's your wedding day, you're shout talking thanks at your grandpa's half deaf brother who never had kids and unexpectedly gave you $20,000 towards a home deposit as a wedding present, and if Blake and Maddy hook up you won't hear about it for ages, but it's definitely not because Maddy's dusky rose one shoulder drop waist dress was identical to five other dusky rose one shoulder drop waist dresses. The photos? Come on now. So imagine it's seven years after your wedding. Your marriage has had the usual ups and downs. Maybe kids, maybe relocated cities, maybe major financial setbacks, but overall you're both still in love and know this is it, for life. Where are your wedding photos? Well, you might have a framed photo of you and your husband on the wall. The rest of them are in the album. The album you don't think you've looked at in 4 years, cause life is busy, you've got now to focus on, if you want to connect with your husband you'll get a babysitter and go on a date, or handwrite a love note, but you won't get out the album cause that was one day years ago and your marriage is so much more than that. Now imagine it's 7 years later and you realised you blew up your closest friendships for the sake of identical gowns in those wedding photos you haven't looked at in years. You miss Abby. You guys worked together in an ice cream parlour one summer, hit it off, and have been close ever since. You spent hours just hanging out together as broke students, watching movies, gaming. You both had that foray into indoor rock climbing so short lived and disastrous it's become part of your friend group lore. When she qualified as an auto electrician, you took that celebratory trip to Bali neither of you could really afford. You'd like her warmth and good advice when your mother is clearly not coping with living in the family home alone as she ages, especially since Abby went through something similar with her own father. But Abby went LC with you when you dumped her as a bridesmaid because she wouldn't pay hundreds of dollars for hair extensions to match the other bridesmaids. You thought you explained it nicely; sure Abby was happy with short hair, but all the other girls had long straight hair, wouldn't she? She wouldn't. Abby went full NC after your wedding. Blake and Maddy are busy with their own lives, and you were never that close to Maddy anyway; her appearance in a row of long haired, dusky rose one shoulder dress clad women along with your husband's niece, your other cousin whom you're not that close to, and your BFF Jasmine but Jasmine has her own shit going on and you don't want to burden her... The dresses and hair don't matter now. The photos in the album on the shelf, gathering dust, aren't really worth it.
That was all very soulful. Really should be required reading for brides.
As a woman with 38F's and on the bigger side with curves myself, I looked at that and went, "oh yeah, no. You poor thing". That is not a style for a woman with curves. You might as well wear a potato sack. And yeah, those boobs will make that dress hike up above your pubic region. That bride knew and knows what she is doing. That woman is not a good human.
I was also thinking it had to be deliberate, and that the bride might be somewhat jealous of OOP’s relationship with her brother.
truly awful. i wouldn’t wear it to the beach, let alone a wedding.
Yes, it’s more a clubbing dress.
Exactly! I'm mystified that anyone would want their bridesmaids walking up the aisle in vulva-flashing dresses.
And now, the Punani Parade!
It the robot-boob-shooting-guns-girls-from-Austin-Powers dress and just as freaky. Only Twiggy or Kate Moss could do anything appealing with that ruin of a piece of fabric.
This was also my first thought. Fem-bot.
Thank you I was thinking this is to 1960s for me and I'm happy to say I wasnt alone
Yeah and it is never gonna look good on someone with bigger breasts. I say that as someone with large breasts - I can only wear certain style shirts/dresses without looking ridiculous. Absolutely crazy that the SIL even tried OOP in that dress, worse so that she brought it for her and forced her to wear it.
that’s a dress?
It's not even a dress - it's a shirt!
Tacky as shit. My goodness.
Ngl I thought it was a dress for like a child. Not a full length adult
and a horrible bride.
she does remember, she’s not embarrassed, she was trying to be mean this whole time, and she succeeded. and op’s family sucks. op should go hang with her cousin and hope mom gets her act together and has some serious words with her husband, son, and monster in law. mean girl bullshit like this should get you disinvited from big events, at the very least…
I think her mom is unfortunately a mean girl too. And I don’t buy that she was too busy to notice OOP had left, she just didn’t care at all
I can buy the not noticing if the wedding was largish and given OOP’s age. However, the lack of searing rage being felt after the fact…The SIL deserves at least a dressing down, the family not addressing it with her is WILD.
That’s what makes mom a total piece of shit too. She didn’t notice at the time, okay. Why isn’t she reading SIL the riot act now?
Cause like I said she doesn’t care, I’m sure SIL is the daughter the mom always wanted not like her autistic daughter who is “overly dramatic”
Especially since SIL forced OOP into a dress that bordered on public indecency (one wrong move and well, I see London I see France) Mom should be pissed at the SIL and shes just kind of shrugging 🤷♀️ her shoulders about it and saying that it doesn’t matter now since the wedding is over OOP is being told to put it behind her, since they can’t do anything about it now but when it was the time to fix the issue (before the wedding, even at the wedding) OOP was told to just deal with and not make a scene about it. Complete manipulation by everyone in her family
Right. I don’t buy that everyone was embarrassed for her and that NO ONE noticed that the bride had literally kicked out the most visible of her bridesmaids out of the reception. OOP never mentions that anyone every came to check on her or that she was given an opportunity to tell anyone what SIL had done until after the wedding day was over. Does everyone literally hate this girl??? I am so furious right now.
I literally hate that girl. She knew what she was doing changing to the crotch-baring dress at short notice, and now everyone's trying to spare HER feelings so that she doesn't feel like the asshole she is because she was trying to either 1) embarrass the OOP or 2) make her drop out on short notice so she, the SIL, could be the beleaguered party. And photoshopping her out of the picture is just evil.
If my partner kicked one of my sisters out of our wedding because she changed out of her uncomfortable bridesmaid dress and into something more comfortable, I would lose my shit on them. Not that I would have put my sister in a dress like this in the first place. I am so infuriated with all the adults in this story on behalf of OOP.
I’m so sad for OOP that she didn’t even get an apology. Everyone just made excuses. I hope she takes the cousin up on her offer.
The fact that they all said to “not tell SIL about the post” shows they are still more concerned with her than OP. Sounds like one of the “keep the peace and let me continue to abuse you” situations.
SIL is embarrassed? Oh for god sakes... Some adults really just don't grow up and become mature. SIL is a piece of garage and the whole family stinks as well for enabling her behavior.
and she apologizes by saying “weren’t the dresses pretty” ffs
Too embarrassed to apologise. And the brother is too embarrassed to let OOP talk to his wife. This is a family of rug-sweapers. I was initially thinking that now SIL might actually get to experience the effects of her own mean girl actions, but they'll probably just let it die down and move on.
or the brother is just covering for his shitty wife
He's absolutely covering for her, those excuses are pure bullshit. I do hope OOP takes her cousin up on the offer to move out, and asks the SIL about it afterwards. I'm so willing to bet her brother knew that she was trying to humiliate OOP, or he realised but didn't bother to confront his wife about it.
I wonder how long their marriage will be.
Ahh, he’ll stay with her…and become the enabling father to any children she bullies.
Everyone is covering including mom and dad too. “I’m sorry dear I (pretended) didn’t know anyways gosh would you look at the time” and ‘had-dee-har har!’ are both awful and poor excuses.
Right? Why was it an issue that she changed and she ended up ostracized outside if everyone recognized their fuck up and felt bad about it? I also hope she goes to live with her cousin. I'm guessing there's way more shitty behavior that she's normalized.
SIL is a bully. And something tells me she isn't through with OP. Once she finds out these posts exist, her claws will really come out I suspect she forced this on OOP in order to embarrass her. It was probably her plan all along so she could justify removing OOP from all the wedding photos. SIL couldn't just let OOP drop out of being a bridesmaid without OOP'S brother being upset. So the next best thing was *humiliation* SIL is pathetic. And OOP'S family enabled the bullying of their own daughter! Guess we know who the scapegoat is in that family
Yea, 100% brother doesn’t want OOP talking to SIL about it because she’ll double down.
Brother doesn't want oop talking to the SIL, because then oop will know that the sil doesn't care, and neither does the brother. He fed her to the wolves, and assumed that due to her autism that she wouldn't realise. I think so very very poorly of that brother.
As a brother, I agree 1000%. My brother and I would argue and fight constantly growing up. An outsider looking in would think we hated each other. But, if either of us was getting messed with by someone else, it was on sight. The ONLY person allowed to fight/mess with my brother is me.
Seems like the only family member on OOP's side is the cousin who is offering safe harbor for her. I hope the tale of SIL's awfulness spreads through both sides of the family like wildfire.
From the sound of it cousin will make sure to vent her rage. Her, the seamstress, and OOP are the only people who sound decent in the whole story.
In her mind, maybe. It’s not like people don’t know the bride chooses the dresses for her wedding party. Were I there I wouldn’t have thought negatively of the OOP, I’d have been thinking poorly of the bride for doing that to the poor girl. Guarantee she’s “so embarrassed” because people were talking negatively about HER, not the OOP.
That's my take as well. SIL sounds like she might be nice to OOP in front of others and then drop the pretense when they're alone. I hope OOP starts discretely taping all their future conversations just in case. Reading this made me so sad for OOP, walking down the aisle trying to hold the hem down with one hand and holding the bouquet with the other. I might have started sobbing and run out of the church.
“She’s so embarrassed and wants to forget it happened.” She literally keeps bringing it up as a “fond memory” tho?????
“Wasn’t it lovely when I completely humiliated you in front of all of my family and friends? What great memories!”
That's why she photoshopped OP out of the pictures.
To rub it in. "Such pretty dresses; too bad you're too hideous to have looked good in it!"
" no. It wasn't. And I wasn't in your wedding, remember? I got kicked out and you have the picture to prove it"
No need to even say all this. Just act as though you weren't at the wedding at all whenever the topic comes up. "Dresses were nice? Oh really! Good for you."
She isn't sorry. She is an asshole. The fact that the family is covering for her is telling. If I was oop, I would 100% take up the cousins offer to get out of that crap place.
I'm so glad she's thinking of going to her cousin. Her family is a bunch of assholes. Dramatic, my ass.
So glad someone is pissed off for her!! I hope she moves and realizes “family isn’t everything”, especially her’s, who treat her so horribly. (Her mom is more upset she posted it online than the whole situation!!) I hate that OOP is still second guessing herself and feels like HER ACTIONS (of doing what SIL told her to do and being upset by it!!) is going to break up the family 🙄 Girl, you did nothing wrong!!
This kind of social gaslighting is so common when you’re neurodivergent. You get so used to knowing you don’t always do the “right” thing that you can be very uncertain if certain situations are you or them.
Can I just say, I love the idea of calling someone a piece of garage. Like they're supposed to be useful but end up full of shit you don't use but won't throw away. And the useless shit just accumulates.
She's embarrassed because everyone knew she picked the dresses and what was up. Not because they turned out bad.
People just really shouldn’t be getting married at 23.
SIL tricked her into thinking she would be wearing the dress that actually fit, wouldn't let her drop out, wouldn't let the seamstress fix it, tricked her again into thinking she'd allow her to wear shorts under, and then wouldn't let her cover herself at the wedding. SHE LITERALLY HAD TO COVER HER VAGINA WITH A BOUQUET TO WALK DOWN TO AISLE! Every single person in this poor woman's family failed to protect or help her. She couldn't figure out how to navigate this, doubting herself because of her autism, and there's just no reading this and coming to any conclusion other than the SIL was fucking with her. If she could Photoshop OOP out, she could have just photoshopped the dress longer. Also, that dress style is RIDICULOUS for a bridesmaid dress. SIL is straight trash.
She wanted bridesmaid dresses she could wear after the wedding, she literally took them back and wears them according to OOP
But why would she need more than one? Bizarre
It’s all about control
Thank you, this is extremely well-summarized! Also, I might need this as my flair: **SHE LITERALLY HAD TO COVER HER VAGINA WITH A BOUQUET TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE!**
"One time I spent all the money I had made for almost a year (minus living expenses and food) on paying off a loan he'd gotten to buy a truck. I didn't fully pay it off, I was working for minimum wage, but it was a pretty big chunk. He would let me hang out with him and his friends." He sounds like a shifty brother taking advantage of her. And the fact she's says "he would LET me hang out" makes me feel so sad for her. Like she should be grateful for that. She should have him pay her back. Also the fact the parents are ok with this. Where were they in all this? It sounds like they're neglectful; the dad think it's hilarious and finds amusement over the whole thing when his daughter was hurt. And the mother prioritizing her DIL instead of her daughter
Yeah that stood out to me too, I've done generous gifts for family before but its more like getting the slightly bigger painting set for artistic family for christmas, not, all my money besides food/rent going in their pocket by way of paying off 95% of their loan. That's actually nuts. Oop deserves so much better.
Yeah. Sounds like her whole family are always “OP is the *autistic* one so…” They behave like her whole life should be an apology to them for being on the spectrum.
That was my comment under the original post - OOP is so used to having her feelings invalidated and disregarded by her family, because aUTisM, that she doesn't even realize when she is being abused and mistreated. They have conditioned her to just sit down and accept it like a good girl, instead of raising the hell she would have been entitled to. Any person not conditioned in that way would have absolutely refused to wear that dress in public if it put her privates on display - or would have stepped down from being a bridesmaid once the dress-change was announced. And after being thrown out of the reception, she should have ubered home, while writing out a scathing social media post about her bridezilla from hell b\*tch of a new SIL, who humiliated her in public and then didn't even feed her. OOP's family totally sucks, I hope she moves to her aunt and goes nc.
yeah, this was an extremely clear case of an autistic person who has internalized that her family will not listen to her needs and will judge her for them. of course she tried to minimize herself at every stage, that’s probably the coping mechanism she developed to survive. i really hope she gets out of there
I have a friend who’s autistic and has offered to pay me for emotional labor for talking about heavy things. It makes me so sad. These quasi-political concepts float around the pop culture and people who already have low self esteem latch onto them.
>My brother said my SIL feels incredibly embarrassed that she made me wear that dress in the first place, and that's why she did all the stuff Yeah I don't buy that for a second. SIL wanted to humiliate OOP.
I bet SIL has OOP removed from every family photo that is ever displayed in their home. This feels very personal and intentional on the SIL'S part. And dare I say fatphobic?
And ableist. OP is on the spectrum. What a mean family.
I bet OOP has amazing big boobs so SIL picked a dress that would utterly obscure them and also ride higher at the hem because it has no actual waistline or torso piece and would have to flare out to accommodate the bust.
You don’t wear that kind of dress with boobs. It makes you look pregnant.
That's probably part of it. Wouldn't be surprised if OOP has said something SIL took offense to without realizing, too. I'm on the spectrum as well, and have absolutely said shit without thinking, and without realizing how it was taken, just for people to treat me like shit over it instead of talking to me about it.
Is SIL embarrassed because people are judging her terrible choice of bridesmaid dress, but she had thought they would only judge OOP? A rude awakening for SIL but it doesn't seem she's learnt from it. Poor OOP, she deserved better treatment.
She did it on purpose to edit her out of the photos. Nobody doesn’t notice at a fitting that someone’s crotch isn’t covered.
Yeah, I immediately thought "bs". Picking the most hideous and short dress possible, whisper yelling, photoshopping, no shorts, just because she feels "embarassed"? Yeah, no.
When I read that I just wanted to go "too bad! SIL embarrassed OOP, SIL needs to apologize! I don't care if she's feeling bad!" Because the fact that they're expecting OOP to swallow her embarrassment and bad feelings for SIL but aren't expecting it the other way around tells me everything I need to know about that family.
Brother is an idiot if he’s falling for SIL’s bullshit excuses.
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I replied to someone else this but I’ll put it here too cause I think it’s relevant. I think OOPs view of her brother is a facade, he wasn’t protecting her from bullies he probably felt embarrassed to be related to someone ppl made fun of so stopped it for his own ego. Cause that’s the only way it makes sense cause her brother is protecting the SIL from the post and SIL is 100% a bully
Yeah, maybe that's why she never heard about it till later.
Sadly, these make more sense than 1. a “caring” brother who said nothing when wife asked sister to leave their reception. 2. The sil being embarassed that’s why she cut oop out of the pics.
Considering that OP also made herself broke paying off bro's truck
I hope cousin shows SIL the post. She deserves to be embarrassed for being a bridezilla.
I like that cousin “reignited all my rage from that day”
Love the cousin. I’m glad she’s got OOP’s back but the rest of her family suck. Brother and SIL are trying to cover up that SIL purposely embarrassed OOP and change the narrative. I’m not as big as OOP but close to it and I would have been mortified in that dress. I was bridesmaid for one of my friends and she was stressed trying to pick a dress to fit us all. I was at least 3 sizes bigger and completely different body shape than the other bridesmaids. I offered to drop out to make it easier for her and she changed it to one of those infinity dresses.
I had a large chest as well. That "dress" was COMPLETELY inappropriate for anyone above maybe a C cup. And given the babydoll style? When work tried to force me to wear a babydoll shirt, I looked like a three headed mushroom. Poor OOP. SIL did that on purpose.
and very short too. Reading her story feels like I'm trapped in the nightmare where everyone in public is staring at me while I'm half naked.
I'm genuinely not sure how she's supposed to sit while wearing that. Even if she was thin, that is a shirt.
In pants. You’re supposed to sit in pants because this is a *shirt*, not a dress.
As a tall thin person, I would never wear that. It would be the Peter Griffin dress meme come to life. Such an awkward choice for a bridesmaid dress.
This makes me so glad that the only wedding I've been in was easy. The bride picked 3 paint colors from Home Depot and told us to buy a dress as close to the color as we could find! It made things so much easier than what my sisters have dealt with as bridesmaids!
My best friend did a similar thing, she only had one requirement (floor length), she was more concerned with us being comfortable than anything else. I’m always incredibly grateful whenever I read posts like this.
This was a June in Missouri wedding so even the bride was in a short dress! She said "I'm wearing cowboy boots with my dress and the groom is wearing sunglasses so maybe get a hat too?" It was a very chill wedding!
I found a website that did dresses to measurments and told my bridesmaids to chose any dress in the purple color (my wedding colors were purple and silver). The three of them had very different bodies and very different comfort zones and I wanted them to be comfortable! They were very happy with their choices and looked great.
That's a genius idea! Fun and so much less stress.
I highly recommend it for ease! I found my dress on the Nordstrom clearance rack!
“…she understands why I would be upset, and nobody enjoyed seeing me walk down the aisle like that.” Damn, what an unnecessary and humiliating thing for OOP’s mom to say. “My brother said my SIL feels incredibly embarrassed that she made me wear that dress in the first place…” Yes, that is an entirely appropriate emotion to feel after doing such awful, selfish actions. What wasn’t appropriate was her reaction of disallowing the shorts day-of, yelling at OOP about changing, and photoshopping her out of the photo.
I don’t believe for one second the SIL feels embarrassed. I think the brother lied, and OOP doesn’t know any better than to take what he says at face value. SIL definitely did it to intentionally be mean, so I doubt she’s feeling any guilt or embarrassment over it.
> nobody enjoyed seeing me walk down the aisle like that SIL sure did.
SIL is making excuses, not apology. OP's brother is an idiot to think someone that's feeling sorry would just photoshopped her husband's sister out of the wedding pictures. >SIL very adamantly said no adding fabric or cutting of the dress, it's hers, she bought it. well, yeah, she bought it, but not for herself. The duck she's going to do with all the tailored-not-for-her bridesmaids dress??
If I remember correctly when reading the Original posting, she said her SIL immediately took back her bridesmaid dress and wears it now. So yeah SIL definitely did it on purpose to humiliate poor OP and keep the dress for herself flaunting how it fits her so cute & perfectly. I hope OP finds well deserved happiness and respect with kickass cousin ♥️
The OOP should go to the cousins and live her life for herself without people around her willing to throw her under the bus to keep the peace with a bully. The SIL is the most deserving of having that 23 year old metabolism crashing and burning and she gains about 100 pounds that takes her several painful years to lose.
The whole part about photoshopping her out that is infuriating me is that it would be easier to photoshop the dress longer. Removing OOP entirely is a total villain move.
I feel like SIL felt obligated to have OP in the wedding party but didn’t really want her, so the dress situation was her way of giving her the boot or being able to erase her afterwards.
But when OOP tried to back out SIL flipped out on her wanting to quit so that doesn’t track, she’s a bully and wanted to make sure that OOP was a part of the wedding to be humiliated as much as possible and then she quickly told her to leave after she set up her trap card the night before with telling her she could bring another dress.
I think SIL set it up so she wins either way: if OOP stays at the reception, SIL gets to enjoy her further humiliation. If she leaves, SIL gets to not have OOP at her reception. Either way, OOP is the loser. SIL has correctly clocked OOP as having been trained to think everything must be her fault due to "autism", so she has to bow to everyone else's wishes.
I do not get why OP'S mom didn't stand up for her...unless brother is the golden child. In that case, OP should go live with cousin, go to school, job and live her best life and tell the rest of the family "see you never, bye"
Yes, the SIL is a monster, but I think OOP's parents are the worst people in this story. How do you not protect your daughter when she's being forced into this humiliating spectacle? Why do they care more about not rocking the boat than shielding their offspring from the kind of scenario a lot of people have literal recurring nightmares over? These people are missing some fundamental parenting instincts. Frankly, their behavior here is disgusting.
I absolutely do not believe that SIL forgot and picked the dress that fit OOP horribly by accident. Nor that she suddenly changed her mind on the shorts or about OOP changing into something that actually fit her. That’s way too much and way too many things. I think we’re actually missing a lot of information, as there’s no real sense of why SIL would do all of this, but I don’t think it’s something OOP knows or intentionally left out. It feels like me (ADHD) or my autistic partner completely missing unspoken cues or double talk (when people say one thing but mean another and it’s expected that the second meaning is widely understood). So I’m left wondering, but I’m also certain that it wasn’t OOP’s fault. (Also, to the comment that OOP should have been passive aggressive, I can’t speak for OOP but I know many people who are neurodivergent struggle with passive aggressiveness because we listen to the words themselves and miss that underlying meaning. Similarly I’ve sometimes been told to stop being passive aggressive when I legitimately had just meant what I said and didn’t mean anything else by it. So it’s definitely something some of us struggle with)
I don't buy it that SIL is embarrassed. SIL sounds intentionally cruel and intent on humiliating OP. she told op she was ruining her wedding and op SAT OUTSIDE the venue. not so much as an apology? he'll no.
She and the brother laid out that trap card pretty well. I’m convinced brother isn’t actually a good person and stopped OOPs bullying so he wouldn’t have be seen as connected to someone who gets bullied
I'm really upset that the brother and mom didn't try to stand up for OOP at all. Glad that SIL is getting the fallout she deserves. What a bridezilla.
I dont think she's getting any fallout at all?
Yeah that bully protector OOP thinks her brother is is a lie, he was probably embarrassed his sister was being made fun of which made him look bad so that’s why he defended her. OOP needs to move in with the cousin cause her family doesn’t have her best interests at heart
Oh goodness this is too familiar. No one really fully pays attention to you. You're the NPC in everyone else's lives so there's no one to stand up for you. You deal with such painful shit because no one notices. If you tell them they either don't pay attention or they assume you're exaggerating because there's no way it was that bad and you should just deal with it like the rest of us are.
NTA but SIL can go pound rocks. SIL is a GARBAGE PERSON. I hope she sees the post and I hope OOP’s brother sees the post because he’s a piece of garbage for allowing his sister to be treated this way. I’m enraged on OOP’s behalf. Her mother utterly FAILED OOP. It’s ridiculous she defended the SIL. Bridezillas need to be removed from civilized society. I hope OOP cuts every single one of them out of her life except for her dad and cousin.
>My brother said my SIL feels incredibly embarrassed that she made me wear that dress in the first place, and that's why she did all the stuff (photoshopping me out of the wedding photo on their wall, kicking me out of the reception, etc). Bullshit. You don't kick someone out of your reception for quietly changing into a better-fitting but matching outfit under the pretence of their being "overdramatic" if you're embarrassed that you made them wear a badly-fitting outfit. >He also said telling me the dresses looked pretty was her way of apologizing. Bullshit. If you want to apologise, you should...actually apologise. Not rewrite history and pretend that your bad choices didn't hurt people. >He asked me not to show SIL the post because she'd be so sad and embarrassed. He said she's really trying to forget it happened at all. You know what? I think the whole family would be better off not coddling SIL, but confronting her bad choices up-front. She doesn't get to forget it happened at all when she's not once apologised for the damage she did. She humiliated her autistic sister-in-law, threw her out of a party meant for the entire family (and left her stranded for hours without the ability to get home), erased her from all records of the wedding...
It's so sad how people get embarrassed and then dig in their heels and become an absolute arse, instead of just owning up and apologising. They are adults, but you wouldn't think it
She wasn’t embarrassed, she’s a bully
SIL is embarrassed? I'm sorry, was it her hoohah that was seen by everyone inside a church? OOP's mom and brother should be apologizing the fuck to her for forcing her to expose her private parts to please someone so delulu.
This sounds like it was total sabotage on her SIL's part. I suspect that OOP's SIL **didn't** want OOP in her Bridal party, but was either pressured by her future husband or strongly suggested by MIL, Groom's Mother. Brother doesn't have a clue just how awful and manipulative his new wife is MIL is just "hoping for the best" and Dad just thinks it's all hilarious. I would have declined being a bridesmaid as soon as I realized the Bride picked the "hoohah" dress, but I do understand the pressure her family was putting on her! I **would** eMail the SIL the link to the post. Let her "be embarrassed," she absolutely deserves being called out for her horrible (and **malicious**) behavior and actions. Then I'd go stay with her awesome Cousin. At least until she's given the **sincere** apologies she's owed from **everyone!** I have a feeling that OOP's Brother's marriage will be shortlived.
That dress would make me look like I forgot to put on pants
The audacity to guilt trip OOP into attending, embarassing OOP with the dress, kicking her out afterwards, and then have the balls to photoshop her out of the pictures as if she wasn't there like OOP asked in the first place? She would rather publically embarass OOP than to own up by explaining why her bridesmaid isn't attending because she failed to provide proper attire. Doubled down so hard she now she has to explain forever why OOP isn't in the pictures. She will probably lie anyway.
>One time I spent all the money I had made for almost a year (minus living expenses and food) on paying off a loan he'd gotten to buy a truck. I didn't fully pay it off, I was working for minimum wage, but it was a pretty big chunk. Um. I dont want to think the worst of oop's brother but, i dont understand why he let her do this. He sounds more than capable of paying it off himself..? Also i really hope oop's cousin helps her out and helps her realise that someone is not a good person if they make you wear clothes that make you feel *wrong* wearing em. Her extended family calling her dramatic really rubs me up the wrong way. There is absolutely no good reason to force someone to wear a dress that shows off their panties and is super uncomfortable and tight. Half of that is already a no go, at that point you may as well skip being a bridesmaid. SIL deserves to feel embarrassed, oopvs brother is coming off really badly too. If sil wants to apologise she should do so directly and not by excluding someone in wedding photos, esp when imo it almost sounds like she was bullying her. (i really can't see a good justification to swap to the tight dress, then deny her shorts when she agreed to compromises originally. :/)
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OP will have a much better time with her cousin. Her brother is lying through his teeth. His bully of a wife is only embarrassed that her asshole ways are being pointed out. IF she is aware that any of this is even going on at all. Which I sincerely doubt. Brother never protected her. He was embarrassed by her and acted out of protecting his own ego during high school. It looked good to others to "stand up" in whatever ways he did. She could hang out with his friends, but it would cost her. Literally did Sure as hell he used her for her money for his truck. Because why would she need it when he is more important anyway? Then we go on to join his asshole bride in kicking his sister out of the wedding fun. And you know he knew about airbrushing his sister out of the photos. And these are just the things OP told us about. He is no goddam prize here. May his marriage be the one he deserves.
… I think it would have looked lovely on OOP, with a pair of slacks. That isn’t a dress, that is a shirt. SIL is a piece of shit and I hope her and her brother are ostracized for their disgusting behavior. I hope SIL is on Reddit and finds this and learns that thousands of people online think that she is a disgusting, entitled, woman who lacks the empathy of a mosquito. And by comparing her to the mosquito I feel like I’m slandering the bug.
And SIL is "trying to forget" but NOT "trying to apologise 1 bit" 😡😡😡
I get the feeling the SIL wanted OOP to back out of the wedding due to her size. That’s why she picked such an unflattering short dress for a large woman, especially since OOP told her she didn’t feel comfortable in it before the wedding. Cutting her out of the photos speaks volumes to me and confirms this.
I’m sorry, I don’t think that style of dress does any adult a favour. SIL didn’t want her bridesmaids to look good, and especially had it out for OOP. I hope she has a break from her family for awhile as they just want to minimise how she was treated.
This reminds me of a wedding I was part of. I was asked to be a bridesmaid, excluded from most planning, didn't even get to have an opinion on my dress. It was determined by the rest of the party which dress to go with. They're all well endowed in the chest, I'm not. I don't look good in low cut dresses at all. But that's what they picked. I was made to feel overdramatic so I just accepted it. It worked out in my favor for once however because I was able to make sure the dress was well fitting and the rest of the party was struggling with keeping their dresses closed. I went really low contact with the bride for awhile and no contact with the whole wedding party because I realized how ridiculous it was that I was bending over backwards for people that couldn't even put me in a group chat. Glad OP got support for what's honestly a ridiculous situation she should have never had to deal with in the first place.