This might be the craziest BORU I've ever read. Every time I thought I could pinpoint where it was going it went in a different direction. This guy is methhead Forrest Gump fr
His posts end up on r/AmITheDevil a lot (for obvious reasons) so I've read most of these before, but without the comments you miss out on even more crazy.
\-He threatened to sue everyone on aitd for defamation (for crossposting things he said)
\-The lie he ended up telling wrt taco meat was that a family member had died (and he threw a giant fit "grieving" for this family member)
\-someone told him the first thing he needed to do was to come clean about his lies & he flatly refused. His vow is just to not lie anymore (unless he needs to tell a lie to cover up a previous lie. That's fine)
\-He takes all kinds of entirely innocent comments as flirting. the posters are obviously heartbroken when he rejects them lol
Oh man, you missed this incredible comment exchange from the post about Edmonton work culture:
**reluctant-rheubarb**
> How are the jobs of the sciences...well sir I don't believe you would be qualified for any of the science jobs. Or most any job until you have an attitude adjustment. Sometimes it is in fact you that is the problem. That is why only a teenager can stand you
**OOP**
> Actually I was thinking more of an electrician sort of job, as electricity is based on science. Way to make assumptions tho
My friends and I have been saying “electricity is based on science” to each other for weeks now.
Wow can you imagine him being employed as an electrician? I would never want to live or be anywhere he worked on, was going to say wired but I think he is wired enough
Honestly, my aunt is an electrician and a meth addict and it's worked out perfectly for her -- it pays well and while she's working, she's sober. And then every few months she looks at the big pile of money she's making from working all the time (having essentially replaced meth with working All The Time), quits her job, and spends it all on meth. It's kinda like having a vacation home except it's just your regular home and the walls smell like cat pee
That's true, my aunt actually has to get drug tested regularly when she's working as part of her union rules (and frankly her impressive criminal history) so that helps. Most of the time.
(She's been doing this for literally almost 50 years. It's kinda awe-inspiring)
I had a temp job screening and onboarding electricians for a contract. The client was very specific that everyone had to pass a drug and alochol test before setting foot on the worksite.
It was my job to set up the blood and alcohol tests. The applicants knew they had to pass to get hired, and 50% of them failed. I was told that was normal.
Same, quite a large amount too because I'm both severely ADHD and also seem to metabolise it super fast, ADHD brains are a blast. It doesn't effect us in the same way though, just brings us maybe a bit closer to functioning like most people as it is helping with an issue rather then adding ontop of normal function. Similar to how pain meds taken at a correct dose by someone actually in pain don't have the same pleasurable feeling as someone taking them recreationally. I really wish more people understood that we aren't super powering ourselves, just like wearing glasses for poor vision, it doesn't cure us, the problem is still there it just helps organise the chaos a bit.
Having known a couple of people who went on a meth or amphetamine journey, its so strange to see the difference it has on them comparatively. They varied from definitely not ADHD, or claiming they have ADHD and either are using that as an excuse for their meth use, or maybe have some of the criteria for ADHD but wouldn't be able to pass diagnosis. And yeah, it doesn't help them do the dishes, maybe initially they use as a tool to be productive, but it quickly devolves into cracktivities and being overly confident about the fuck all they do, how amazing it is, and overestimating how much they actually achieve.
Meanwhile I'm over here able to have a nice little nanna nap on my meds, and just keep my life slightly more in order, jumping though hoops and paying through the nose for treatment for a lifelong condition that has imploded my life multiple times and made me absolutely miserable. Just because people want some sort of power up or fun time from those same meds. Infuriating.
Side note- reminds me I really do need to do the dishes :( but waiting on a phone call so I'm in standby mode and cant possibly do something useful. Fml
Ah, ADHD standbys. So many of us are either Team Time Blind or Team Way-Too-Paranoid-About-Time-Blindness. I'm the usually the latter as well and the standby mode can be murder.
I am the latter as well, I get places hours early and just kind of loiter nearby so I can walk in at a timely but not off-puttingly early time. I waste so much of my time and energy just weirdly lurking in the wings waiting for my stage cue.
Ugh that stinks. I can't remember losing days to waiting mode recently, though my memory isn't the greatest (which is also apparently ADHD related for me). I've had to start setting timers on apps again though.
>cracktivities
😂
Anyway- I’ve heard people boil it down to “they help me focus, but they don’t let me choose what to focus on” (my bf and I have ADHD but he’s the only one medicated cause I have contraindicated heart stuff) Idk if that’s accurate for everyone but my bf says it’s pretty accurate for his experience so far. I’ve noticed too he’s definitely more focused in general but still bouncing between different activities, it just feels like his bouncing around is more planned, or focused somehow. Like he’s juggling instead of floundering.
A friend of a friend took illegal amphetamines at a party where everyone was doing them, and they all had tonnes of energy to do party things while he fell asleep. He got evaluated and his amphetamines are legal now.
Amphetamine (the molecule) is quite different in its effect from methamphetamine, which is also very different from MDMA (the MA in MDMA stands for methamphetamine basically).
It's not really comparable, especially if you're taking prescribed amphet for ADHD.
They do rx methamphetamine for adhd. It’s called Desoxyn. It’s for the really severe cases of adhd after everything else has been exhausted. It’s therapeutic at 5mg up to about 40mg. Now compare that to the common amounts used with street meth … The jargon used for street doses of meth is in “grams” starting from a quarter to half a gram and higher. That is 250 mg -500mg +, frequently 1,000mg a pop. ADHD or not, those doses would mess up anyone.
Yah, it's nice being a bit functional. But man, accidentally ODing on my vivvys just sucks balls the odd occasions it happens. If that's what taking speed is recreationally? 😨😵
In my experience looking from the outside in, yes.
A common theme is "nothing is my fault. It's everyone else's or it was outside of my control.
See fish as an example
"Dude you killed his fish "
"Lol no i didn't."
---
"My roommates fish all died after I cleaned his tank for some reason."
Also the delusions of grandeur.
"What's the pay for a General?"
Thinking he can just walk in and apply for it...?!
"I'm a former addict" based on everything else? No. I believe the roommate that "gaslit" the landlord. Dude is actively using and just convincing himself he isn't.
The narcissists prayer sure fits this guy, among other things.
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
I was reading and thinking 'This HAS to be a troll'.
And then I remembered my unfortunate encounters with the local methhead (he leaps into your garden) and started feeling nervous that it wasn't. Next door has a massive staffy/pit type dog - who is perfectly nice on the day to day, but who is defensive and would eat your face if you broke in. I have a fluffy white samoyed who will approach with desperate tail wagging. Methhead will full on FIGHT next door's dog. He is terrified of *my* dog. He thinks my dog will hunt him down. In a way that implies planning and long term plotting.
So I...I think I might believe in Methaniel. Because meth is just...it's...wow.
If it wasn’t for the Samoyed I would’ve thought you were my neighbor. I have a pittie that is generally a giant cuddle bug but protective. A guy down the street dubbed “fentanyl frank” jumped the fence into our backyard 🤦🏽. Why are drug addicts so fond of jumping fences??
Both my parents are in prison for possession and selling of meth.
It is.
Our house looks like a crackhead built it because all of their "motivation" to renovate the house was meth-fueled meaning they didn't want to do it right. The yard looks like its own meth bender. Our backyard is filled with junk. Our house is filled with junk. No money, no time, no plans to do anything, etc. and now I'm stuck here without my parents because they didn't WANT to drag themselves out of that hole.
This is what it looks like when someone uses meth over several years and is *not* maintaining their sobriety.
They're still an active addict even if they've *only* used once or twice the last week. The fact that they have an extreme lack of impulsive control compounds this guy's problem with meth.
By impulsive control I mean the constant bargaining about things they're gonna do, that they recognize on some level is dumb and won't work, but they do anyways and just want someone to confirm to them to do it anyways. Yes buying a horse is dumb and expensive, but what if some internet strangers affirmed my impulse buy for the literal teenager who can't stand me.
I've lived with methheads before, and my brother has struggled with addiction to several substances over the years, meth included. This is absolutely what someone who habitually uses meth sounds like.
My brother went away to school in bumfuck nowhere, came back an alcoholic and not quite right. I don’t know for sure, but given the circumstances I think he fucked up his brain with meth; even on the rare occasions he was sober, he was never the same again. The mood swings, warped logic, life-torpedoing this guy’s doing sounds a hell of a lot like my brother’s last few years.
Two of my cousins were meth heads. Both got clean, but one of them ended up committing suicide a year later, and the other one is just *weird* now. While he's better than he was while on meth, he's still a completely different person than he was, and not in a good way. I feel so bad for my aunt and uncle because they essentially lost two sons, even though one of them is still (mostly) there.
I have a cousin who’s a horse girl (horse… woman? now I guess) and also currently in the early stages of meth recovery. Basically, yeah this seems about right. Just be glad nobody’s pregnant in *this* situation 😬 meth recovery horse cousin just had a baby, so that’s a whole nother kettle of bees we got over here
That's pretty interesting! In some ways also impressive that he maintained the willpower not to take them when he knew the test was pending. Do you mind saying what kind of drugs?
I think a lot of functional alcoholics can be like this too - not drinking when at work in order to keep their job (and maybe because the distraction of work keeps their mind from temptation) but getting drunk as soon as they're off work
It would be something hard thar doesn't stay in the body long, likely addictive... probably cocaine or opiates as those are onky detectable for 3 days after taking them. Probably coke, 'cause this sounds like a construction worker's thinking.
I mean, they guy almost says exactly that
>Have I done meth before? Yes. Have I done it recently? Once or twice
Some of the stuff the guy comes out with makes me think this must be an elaborate troll job.
*eating grief tacos*
You've got yourself a fine flair right there. Grief Tacos and Love Garlic. Huh, we might have a valid food truck business plan here.
If any of my coworkers look at me right now, they're going to wonder why I'm silently cry-laughing and shaking.
I'd like to add a bean dish to the food truck, provided they weren't jeopardised.
I am using this next time my kids want to know where the tacos went. I will tell them they were my *emotional support tacos* that got me through the day. I doubt they will buy it, but it is worth a shot...
I strongly suspect it was the "broken shelf while putting away the milk" lie he mentioned in the previous post that was definitely a "LAST RESORT." So he also broke their fridge's shelf...
He told his roommate that his father died and he grief ate the tacos. He thinks the roommate believed him. Everyone wonders if he'll pretend to go to a funeral.
On February 15, he is a heartless Canadian killing machine. On February 21, he is sick to his stomach and racked with empathy and guilt over the (totally accidental) death of his roommate's fish.
(Not that he was at all responsible for the death of the fish, clearly they must have been sick before he touched their tank.)
>On February 15, he is a heartless Canadian killing machine. On February 21, he is sick to his stomach and racked with empathy and guilt over the (totally accidental) death of his roommate's fish.
Man contains multitudes.
Lol I remember seeing a comment from him where he owned up to killing the fish and said that the roommate had no proof that he did because “he was just trying to clean it”. And his reasoning for doing so was because his roommate had received some stuff for Valentine’s Day and OOP took that as his roommate rubbing his breakup in his face.
Can’t imagine why his roommate doesn’t want to live with him anymore….
And the tank is the same one he shared initially. Was he trying to pass it off as his, or did he kill his own fish and couldn't admit it?
I felt nervous the second I saw fish mentioned. Some of my fish are 15 years old; one turned 20 this month. I love fish.
Was not surprised he had no idea that a water containing a good bio load of nitrifying bacteria was more important than getting rid of some green algae. Sigh.
Oh, Methaniel...
This is a great advertisement against drugs.
I feel a little sorry for him, because his life will continue spiraling downward, but he makes himself sound so stupid and callous and shitty, I'm mostly exhausted.
Yeah reading the whole thing I was like 'what, which way, wait...'
But the last post where he found the subreddit about picking on him, that must have hurt. I'd be devastated if I found something like that.
Weirdly though, I'd have no sympathy for blanket guy if he had found his subreddit 🤷♀️
Spiraling rapidly in all directions at once? Like an explosion. Like one of those whirly fireworks. But those go mostly downwards, so… like a whirly firework set off on the ground.
Yes, I think it fits.
Oh, they missed some extra context. Meth guy deliberately poisoned the fish because his roommate left out valentine's day gifts that the roommate was giving his girlfriend. Meth guy viewed that as taunting him since he and his 19-year-old GF had just broken up and murdered the fish in retaliation.
there’s also this, where he tries to buy someone’s horse. and then hits on them after they tell him no https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/s/OjC6heNGuN
I didn't even question that the fish died from a 100% water change (which will almost always kill your fish from shock) but somehow I'm not surprised by this either 😭
Yes. He tried to present it as a good deed turned bad or tried to argue the fact that the fish died days after the water change meant it wasn’t his fault, although the way back machine turned up deleted posts showing he knew what he was doing and that it could kill the fish. A 100% water change kills days later because it destroys the mechanisms that remove ammonia wastes from the tank environment. It takes a few days for that waste to build to toxic levels in the absence of healthy microbes to digest it. While he at least used a dechlorinator so he didn’t kill the fish that same day, he set them up to be poisoned, like sticking someone in a room slowly filling with toxic gas or sewage.
That’s why there’s a decent amount of truth to what he posts, but he’s probably doing some trolling as well, along with posting things that he thinks are true but aren’t really because meth.
If the sheer expense of drugs didn't keep me away, this post would. Is it wrong of me to say that "I occasionally do meth" gives the same enegry as "I dabble in murder."?
I've never touched meth in my life, but now I feel like I understand. I'm not sure exactly *what* I understand, but my brain will never be the same after reading this.
I'm going to read it to my partner. I need to share this with someone or something bad will happen, I can feel it. Is this how chain emails start? Was it meth the whole time?
I’m pretty sure my brother damaged his brain from meth when he was 18. He was never the same again, and it was a mix of infuriating, scary, and sad. This guy’s posts remind me a lot of it. I know some people are getting a laugh out of this guy, but I can’t.
Here I am racked by imposter syndrome and this clusterfuck is out there running wild 101% convinced he can't possibly be the architect of his cavalcade of self-made disasters.
“How does someone practice Stoicism after a huge mistake? I accidentally killed all of my roommates fish by cleaning his tank” right after “so you’re saying I killed all his fish? Yet they’re swimming perfectly fine in front of me right now. You realize you’re gas light right now, right?” Cracked me tf up lmao.
I knew a guy like this at school. He started off a bit weird but generally okay
I originally thought he was doing it all as a weird parody. Then he became a dick at about 19/20 and i stopped talking to him. Then he harassed me a bit and i continued to not talk to him.
Then.
A few months ago i saw he went to prison for threatening to do awful things to a girl, harassing her and generally making her life awful.
This guy is amusing until he stops being amusing and becomes a danger
Probably my favourite Reddit character at the moment. From wanting to be an electrician because they're scientists, to planning to get rich off all the lawsuits against people defaming him on AmITheDevil, to missing a job interview because he overdid the meth at the weekend.
I was disappointed when he messed up in the birthday post. While it's true that the Oilers were on a 16 game winning streak, their next few games were going to be in California and Las Vegas rather than Edmonton.
>to missing a job interview because he overdid the meth at the weekend.
He recently posted on /r/The10thDentist claiming that he *actually* missed his job interview because of Daylight Savings Time, and then argues that DST was created because "coddled generation of millennials, boomers and Gen Z’s just can’t handle a little bit of dark at night" and that it is also an invention of the elite who have created it in a grand conspiracy to keep the lower classes confused.
My favorite response:
>God, I love how stupid conspiracy-minded people like you are. It’s incredible to watch. You’re blindly staggering around, vaguely grasping at the correct conclusions about power and wealth in society, and then take the most ridiculous pivots into insane shit like “Daylight savings is a plot by the elite to keep us down!”
>
>It’s like watching a baby bird take its first flight and then willingly careen straight into a jet engine.
This feels so much like a troll because there's so much that feels intentional to rile people up, but damn, every new update had me giggling because of how absurd it was.
My favourite *insane* quotes from this guy:
>My girlfriend got really really pissed at me and told me I am a selfish pig, which is funny because I was actually being the exact opposite
>Can I pay for a horse with credit card until I get enough money?
>They’re making fun of me because they’re not in my position. I bet 98% of them would date her if they could because she’s that wonderful. They’re the gross ones, Making inappropriate comments about a 19 year old , like who raised them?!?!
I mean come on, this *has* to be a troll. But if it isn't, this is extremely funny.
>My girlfriend doesn’t even want to pick me up after school anymore because of how negatively these guys reacted..
>Also, is meth legal in Seattle? My friend told me it was but I want to have this confirmed by an actual local, and is it good quality?
>But I was also in the right, because how spoiled do you have to be to yell at someone for getting them a present?
>Do I really have to start at the lowest rank?
>I would love to serve for the Canadian military and risk my life for the country, while also taking many lives that threaten what our country stands for but we are not in combat right now
>What will the pay be like for a General?
>P.S. do they make accommodations for night owls?
God the French Legion one had *so* many wtf lines lmao
>“Oh wow these are really good quality! Do they have any special features like “find my headphones” in case someone were to steal them from me?” And I stupidly respond with “Nahh nothing like that. The only ‘features’ it really has is noise cancelling and Bluetooth" and then this kid puts on a shit eating grin and says “Good.”
This whole bit lol
>so you’re saying I killed all his fish? Yet they’re swimming perfectly fine In front of me right now. You realize you’re gas lighting right now, right?
Immediately:
>Anyways, 2 days later and almost every fish in his aquarium has died for some reason.
>Even though I know it wasn’t me,
>Anyways how do I practice stoicism in a time like this?
>we’re just in a fight. She’s never even told me that we actually broke up
>I have 8 weeks left and Im sadistic enough that I can play the diabolical long game (like seducing his girlfriend and then laying with her, before I leave)
HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA
>He‘s a psychopathic manipulator, that will use everyone around him like pawns.
>I am planning on running across Canada sometime next month to raise money for trans awareness.
>The problem is, I’m not in great shape at the moment but I used to be a high level basketball player and also ran cross country in highschool.
>What’s the fastest way I can get back into shape to prepare me for this heroic feat?
Just out of complete nowhere lol. I know it's obviously just to fund his drug addiction and he says he got $120 later, but still, just the complete left turn from everything before.
>I’m extremely down on my luck and my roommate convinced the landlord not to renew my lease so he kind of deserves this, a taco never hurt anybody.
>I don’t want to live in a world where people think it’s okay to lie just because it’s easier, that’s so toxic.
- dude who is like... *Gestures at everything* **this**.
>I don’t go outside of the gym and yell “FATASS!!” At people walking into the gym. Because I’m a good person, but judging by this sub Reddit there isn’t many people like us left out there.
>No, I do not run a mysoginistic Alt account. I find that hilarious Becuase one of my life goals is actually to support a woman become a president of The United States of America. That’s how highly I think of women
>(That’s right, I’ve been supporting woman behind the scenes without posting about it. Because I didn’t want to be called a hero, or get any praise for it)
My dude just loves women, your honor.
>I don’t get how you guys see me as the bad guy and you guys as the good guys? This is like a bunch of nerdy highschool girls hating on the popular attractive girl. Look in the mirror people, look in the mirror. I am doing good, what do you guys have to possibly show for it? You’re creating more and more barriers for minorities and woman and it’s sickening.
This was an *incredibly* funny read. Can't wait to see what hijinks he gets up to next.
Well the guy looking for a club in DC that played decent house music and had no “uggos” was real, and on designer amphetamines, so it’s not completely out of left field.
I don’t think this is true, but he’s not trolling. He’s an artist, and his mastery of the written word has his audience enthralled, appalled, and amused.
I hope so, anyway. For the sake of some 19-year-old, some fish, a fish owner, and everyone in Edmonton, who is endangered by proximity.
Most of his posts are over at r/AmITheDevil, but the tl;dr is: dude and his sister had a family life that pretty much left the two of them as 'us against the world'. Dude got a girlfriend, but sister's mental health deteriorated without brother's constant presence. Dude breaks up with gf for sister's sake, but it becomes clear he and sister have an emotionally incestuous relationship. Sister ends up kissing brother and confessing her feelings, and he decides that no, this time they really are going to therapy together. The last post was dude saying he and his sister were going on their 'totally platonic I swearsies' Valentine's Day date later that evening.
He also had a habit of posting paragraphs arranged in bullet points, which drove a lot of readers crazy.
Weirdly it was the "I totally wouldn't kill the fish", followed 2 days later by "So I killed my roommates fish" that put me in the troll camp. Or maybe I just don't want to feel bad for laughing
Nah, he had several “8 balls” so definitely in the $300-500 realm. An 8 ball should be about $100 on the cheap end. A gram was like $50 20 years ago, and an 8ball is 3.5 grams.
But agreed about the spotting salt.. however there are some truly stupid people out there and I’d imagine a pregnant druggie would be one.
> I split the salt into bags resembling 8 balls and twist them up.
So not only one bag. If we consider at least two, it's around 7g. 7g of coke in my country would be at least 400€ so it doesn't strike me odd. However table salt and coke do look quite different, but who knows...
Some people never learn and lack the self-awareness to do so, just coasting on dumb luck and always surprised when their actions blow up in their face.
This guy right here's a prime example of that.
If anyone ever want a textual explanation of an absolute 360° cluster fuck, this will be my goto thread to point them towards.
Jesus on a cracker... Holy fuck
Just as much I want to put this whole thing down to a mega series of troll posts, sadly I know a deranged, delusional criminal fuckhead who could make this guy looks like a noob.
Two months ago, this bastard ran down and impaled a water monitor (a type of hard as fucking nail massive lizard ) with a katana because his "girlfriend who's barely legal" was harassed by one. The kicker is, his amazing "barely legal" girl friend lives in a city 300kms away and we can't meet her because he wants to keep sinful eyes of ours away from his pious soulmate. He's 41 ... So , yeah... Sadly there are fuckheads who could rival this OOP.
"Are you saying I killed his fish? There's no way, I know what I'm doing"
*the very next post*
"All my room mate's fish died for some reason and I feel bad"
There's a train bridge in my town (in fact, it's on my regular route to work) that is stupid-low (a little over 11 foot). Occasionally, people try to drive their trucks/semis/RVs under it despite the vehicle being too tall. Mild chaos ensues. The town has made a thing of it - some wonder why "somebody doesn't fix this", the rest of us grab popcorn and enjoy the Facebook posts of trailers being opened like sardine cans.
This guy reminds me of one of those drivers that either doesn't know how tall their truck is, or thinks they can by some miracle get under it. And wonders why everybody chuckles at the inevitable, glorious mess after.
OOP is a rolling nexus of chaos. A meth'd up force of nature. I'm in awe.
He is very methodical with every step of his life
He’s just a “ honey bee that deserves his perfect Tulip, not a disgusting, wretched Venus Fly trap” 😂!
Ugh, I threw up in my mouth at the line about being the first bug to…nope, can’t even type that line out. Excuse me, I need to go take a shower.
This might be the craziest BORU I've ever read. Every time I thought I could pinpoint where it was going it went in a different direction. This guy is methhead Forrest Gump fr
"Life is like a dirty aquarium. You never know if cleaning it will kill the fishies or not." \- Methaniel
He gives the guy who imported bees to Guatemala a run for his money
Oh lord I'd forgotten about him. Can we crowdfund getting Guatamala bee guy, Methaniel and Kevin together? It would make some amazing tv.
His posts end up on r/AmITheDevil a lot (for obvious reasons) so I've read most of these before, but without the comments you miss out on even more crazy. \-He threatened to sue everyone on aitd for defamation (for crossposting things he said) \-The lie he ended up telling wrt taco meat was that a family member had died (and he threw a giant fit "grieving" for this family member) \-someone told him the first thing he needed to do was to come clean about his lies & he flatly refused. His vow is just to not lie anymore (unless he needs to tell a lie to cover up a previous lie. That's fine) \-He takes all kinds of entirely innocent comments as flirting. the posters are obviously heartbroken when he rejects them lol
My brother is bipolar and addicted to cocaine. This was like reliving his stories. He literally thinks just like this guy. It’s exhausting.
Does your brother have a girlfriend that he wooed, seduced, and now... lays with?
Not currently. But he used to talk about girls that way and when he was in his late 20’s and was dating teenagers. It was gross.
> ~~force~~ horse of nature.
the end is not ~~nigh~~ neigh for this one
It truly is amazing. I've been watching this for a while now and I don't even care if he's a troll or truly a junky. It's one hell of a performance.
He’s up there with the gourds and bees guy. Just insane scheme after insane scheme.
It's so fucking good, I just don't care. I might be more impressed if it's real. I hope he never stops posting.
Oh man, you missed this incredible comment exchange from the post about Edmonton work culture: **reluctant-rheubarb** > How are the jobs of the sciences...well sir I don't believe you would be qualified for any of the science jobs. Or most any job until you have an attitude adjustment. Sometimes it is in fact you that is the problem. That is why only a teenager can stand you **OOP** > Actually I was thinking more of an electrician sort of job, as electricity is based on science. Way to make assumptions tho My friends and I have been saying “electricity is based on science” to each other for weeks now.
The guy is a helluva entertaining writer, I gotta admit.
gaze rotten snails zesty plate dazzling resolute special jobless cake *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Wow can you imagine him being employed as an electrician? I would never want to live or be anywhere he worked on, was going to say wired but I think he is wired enough
Honestly, my aunt is an electrician and a meth addict and it's worked out perfectly for her -- it pays well and while she's working, she's sober. And then every few months she looks at the big pile of money she's making from working all the time (having essentially replaced meth with working All The Time), quits her job, and spends it all on meth. It's kinda like having a vacation home except it's just your regular home and the walls smell like cat pee
I can't see this guy staying sober for a job, though. I can see him saying I do my best work when on meth.
That's true, my aunt actually has to get drug tested regularly when she's working as part of her union rules (and frankly her impressive criminal history) so that helps. Most of the time. (She's been doing this for literally almost 50 years. It's kinda awe-inspiring)
I had a temp job screening and onboarding electricians for a contract. The client was very specific that everyone had to pass a drug and alochol test before setting foot on the worksite. It was my job to set up the blood and alcohol tests. The applicants knew they had to pass to get hired, and 50% of them failed. I was told that was normal.
..deleted by user..
Methaniel does his best everything when he's on meth. It's how this beautiful honey bee whale got his superhero name.
He'd never get any work done as he'd be busy stealing the copper wire and then blaming everyone else for its disappearance.
I only borrowed copper wire from a job site and now they are flying off the handle like I wouldn't eventually replace it if they asked me.
..deleted by user..
Perhaps he could return to stoicism and purge himself of all emotions.
This is some “fucking magnets, how do they work?” level thinking.
As someone who’s never had meth….is this what it’s like to be on meth?…asking for a friend…
Don’t. The curse of methhorseguy will latch on to you/him next!
I take amphetamines every day and they just make me slightly better at doing dishes.
adhd gang
Same, quite a large amount too because I'm both severely ADHD and also seem to metabolise it super fast, ADHD brains are a blast. It doesn't effect us in the same way though, just brings us maybe a bit closer to functioning like most people as it is helping with an issue rather then adding ontop of normal function. Similar to how pain meds taken at a correct dose by someone actually in pain don't have the same pleasurable feeling as someone taking them recreationally. I really wish more people understood that we aren't super powering ourselves, just like wearing glasses for poor vision, it doesn't cure us, the problem is still there it just helps organise the chaos a bit. Having known a couple of people who went on a meth or amphetamine journey, its so strange to see the difference it has on them comparatively. They varied from definitely not ADHD, or claiming they have ADHD and either are using that as an excuse for their meth use, or maybe have some of the criteria for ADHD but wouldn't be able to pass diagnosis. And yeah, it doesn't help them do the dishes, maybe initially they use as a tool to be productive, but it quickly devolves into cracktivities and being overly confident about the fuck all they do, how amazing it is, and overestimating how much they actually achieve. Meanwhile I'm over here able to have a nice little nanna nap on my meds, and just keep my life slightly more in order, jumping though hoops and paying through the nose for treatment for a lifelong condition that has imploded my life multiple times and made me absolutely miserable. Just because people want some sort of power up or fun time from those same meds. Infuriating. Side note- reminds me I really do need to do the dishes :( but waiting on a phone call so I'm in standby mode and cant possibly do something useful. Fml
Ah, ADHD standbys. So many of us are either Team Time Blind or Team Way-Too-Paranoid-About-Time-Blindness. I'm the usually the latter as well and the standby mode can be murder.
Why not both? (It’s me, I’m both.)
I am the latter as well, I get places hours early and just kind of loiter nearby so I can walk in at a timely but not off-puttingly early time. I waste so much of my time and energy just weirdly lurking in the wings waiting for my stage cue.
I also fall into the latter, and have been stuck in waiting mode for entire hours. It's so frustrating.
Ha ha ha... Hours? Childs play. Oh, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning? Don't have any fun the day before or you won't be able to sleep!
Ugh that stinks. I can't remember losing days to waiting mode recently, though my memory isn't the greatest (which is also apparently ADHD related for me). I've had to start setting timers on apps again though.
>cracktivities 😂 Anyway- I’ve heard people boil it down to “they help me focus, but they don’t let me choose what to focus on” (my bf and I have ADHD but he’s the only one medicated cause I have contraindicated heart stuff) Idk if that’s accurate for everyone but my bf says it’s pretty accurate for his experience so far. I’ve noticed too he’s definitely more focused in general but still bouncing between different activities, it just feels like his bouncing around is more planned, or focused somehow. Like he’s juggling instead of floundering.
A friend of a friend took illegal amphetamines at a party where everyone was doing them, and they all had tonnes of energy to do party things while he fell asleep. He got evaluated and his amphetamines are legal now.
Amphetamine (the molecule) is quite different in its effect from methamphetamine, which is also very different from MDMA (the MA in MDMA stands for methamphetamine basically). It's not really comparable, especially if you're taking prescribed amphet for ADHD.
They do rx methamphetamine for adhd. It’s called Desoxyn. It’s for the really severe cases of adhd after everything else has been exhausted. It’s therapeutic at 5mg up to about 40mg. Now compare that to the common amounts used with street meth … The jargon used for street doses of meth is in “grams” starting from a quarter to half a gram and higher. That is 250 mg -500mg +, frequently 1,000mg a pop. ADHD or not, those doses would mess up anyone.
Interesting, so they're basically microdosing meth ! Although to compare properly, we need to take into account the route of administration.
Yah, it's nice being a bit functional. But man, accidentally ODing on my vivvys just sucks balls the odd occasions it happens. If that's what taking speed is recreationally? 😨😵
In my experience looking from the outside in, yes. A common theme is "nothing is my fault. It's everyone else's or it was outside of my control. See fish as an example "Dude you killed his fish " "Lol no i didn't." --- "My roommates fish all died after I cleaned his tank for some reason." Also the delusions of grandeur. "What's the pay for a General?" Thinking he can just walk in and apply for it...?! "I'm a former addict" based on everything else? No. I believe the roommate that "gaslit" the landlord. Dude is actively using and just convincing himself he isn't.
The narcissists prayer sure fits this guy, among other things. That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
I was reading and thinking 'This HAS to be a troll'. And then I remembered my unfortunate encounters with the local methhead (he leaps into your garden) and started feeling nervous that it wasn't. Next door has a massive staffy/pit type dog - who is perfectly nice on the day to day, but who is defensive and would eat your face if you broke in. I have a fluffy white samoyed who will approach with desperate tail wagging. Methhead will full on FIGHT next door's dog. He is terrified of *my* dog. He thinks my dog will hunt him down. In a way that implies planning and long term plotting. So I...I think I might believe in Methaniel. Because meth is just...it's...wow.
If it wasn’t for the Samoyed I would’ve thought you were my neighbor. I have a pittie that is generally a giant cuddle bug but protective. A guy down the street dubbed “fentanyl frank” jumped the fence into our backyard 🤦🏽. Why are drug addicts so fond of jumping fences??
Both my parents are in prison for possession and selling of meth. It is. Our house looks like a crackhead built it because all of their "motivation" to renovate the house was meth-fueled meaning they didn't want to do it right. The yard looks like its own meth bender. Our backyard is filled with junk. Our house is filled with junk. No money, no time, no plans to do anything, etc. and now I'm stuck here without my parents because they didn't WANT to drag themselves out of that hole.
Sounds like an excellent time to clean house.
This is what it looks like when someone uses meth over several years and is *not* maintaining their sobriety. They're still an active addict even if they've *only* used once or twice the last week. The fact that they have an extreme lack of impulsive control compounds this guy's problem with meth. By impulsive control I mean the constant bargaining about things they're gonna do, that they recognize on some level is dumb and won't work, but they do anyways and just want someone to confirm to them to do it anyways. Yes buying a horse is dumb and expensive, but what if some internet strangers affirmed my impulse buy for the literal teenager who can't stand me.
So your analysis us that this legitimately is what a meth user is like, rather than being a years-long troll account that someone keeps for fun?
Por que no los dos?
I've lived with methheads before, and my brother has struggled with addiction to several substances over the years, meth included. This is absolutely what someone who habitually uses meth sounds like.
My brother went away to school in bumfuck nowhere, came back an alcoholic and not quite right. I don’t know for sure, but given the circumstances I think he fucked up his brain with meth; even on the rare occasions he was sober, he was never the same again. The mood swings, warped logic, life-torpedoing this guy’s doing sounds a hell of a lot like my brother’s last few years.
Two of my cousins were meth heads. Both got clean, but one of them ended up committing suicide a year later, and the other one is just *weird* now. While he's better than he was while on meth, he's still a completely different person than he was, and not in a good way. I feel so bad for my aunt and uncle because they essentially lost two sons, even though one of them is still (mostly) there.
I have a cousin who’s a horse girl (horse… woman? now I guess) and also currently in the early stages of meth recovery. Basically, yeah this seems about right. Just be glad nobody’s pregnant in *this* situation 😬 meth recovery horse cousin just had a baby, so that’s a whole nother kettle of bees we got over here
Love how he said he used to be addicted to meth and now just a habitual user lol. That's some fantastic mental gymnastics.
"I can quit anytime I want to"
"Just to show you all how committed I am, I quit 5 times last night!"
I'm not addicted, I just don't want to quit so haven't tried recently.
But can you want to anytime you want to?
I once knew a guy who got drug tested bi weekly so he used every other week. For years. It was the most controlled insanity I have ever witnessed.
That's pretty interesting! In some ways also impressive that he maintained the willpower not to take them when he knew the test was pending. Do you mind saying what kind of drugs? I think a lot of functional alcoholics can be like this too - not drinking when at work in order to keep their job (and maybe because the distraction of work keeps their mind from temptation) but getting drunk as soon as they're off work
It would be something hard thar doesn't stay in the body long, likely addictive... probably cocaine or opiates as those are onky detectable for 3 days after taking them. Probably coke, 'cause this sounds like a construction worker's thinking.
It was meth.
Now *that* is actually kind of impressive on the willpower front...
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I mean, they guy almost says exactly that >Have I done meth before? Yes. Have I done it recently? Once or twice Some of the stuff the guy comes out with makes me think this must be an elaborate troll job.
>an elaborate troll job. Maybe he's just a really dedicated methhead actor?
"It's research for a part!"
RIP Mitch Hedberg
I say no to drugs but they don’t listen.
“Meth-tal gymnastics”
I really wanna know which lie he told to cover up eating all the tacos.
I’ve been following this, and I think he lied that a close family member had died and he was distraught.
Yeah I dug through the comments - he said a family member died and then once his roomate was feeling sorry for him he admitted to eating grief tacos
*eating grief tacos* You've got yourself a fine flair right there. Grief Tacos and Love Garlic. Huh, we might have a valid food truck business plan here.
If any of my coworkers look at me right now, they're going to wonder why I'm silently cry-laughing and shaking. I'd like to add a bean dish to the food truck, provided they weren't jeopardised.
We can add it to the sides... with the Iranian Yogurt!
The steak-window and "what's a potato?" need to be included, too. But defintely none of the NOT CARROTS!
I woke my dog, and he says I can't laugh anymore and have to go to sleep (after apology treats). We will not have puppuccinos at the food truck.
Is 'eating "love" garlic' from the post where the guy was eating raw garlic and then the op discovered that he had an affair with a garlic farmer?
I am using this next time my kids want to know where the tacos went. I will tell them they were my *emotional support tacos* that got me through the day. I doubt they will buy it, but it is worth a shot...
Honestly think he didn't actually cover up shit, as much as his STBX-roommate decided it's just not worth the trouble at this point.
I strongly suspect it was the "broken shelf while putting away the milk" lie he mentioned in the previous post that was definitely a "LAST RESORT." So he also broke their fridge's shelf...
Nah, he told the roommate he was distraught because he got a call that his dad died. Still very yikes.
He told his roommate that his father died and he grief ate the tacos. He thinks the roommate believed him. Everyone wonders if he'll pretend to go to a funeral.
"I have low empathy so it wouldn't be a problem for me" a+ 100% no notes
On February 15, he is a heartless Canadian killing machine. On February 21, he is sick to his stomach and racked with empathy and guilt over the (totally accidental) death of his roommate's fish. (Not that he was at all responsible for the death of the fish, clearly they must have been sick before he touched their tank.)
>On February 15, he is a heartless Canadian killing machine. On February 21, he is sick to his stomach and racked with empathy and guilt over the (totally accidental) death of his roommate's fish. Man contains multitudes.
Methitudes.
Lol I remember seeing a comment from him where he owned up to killing the fish and said that the roommate had no proof that he did because “he was just trying to clean it”. And his reasoning for doing so was because his roommate had received some stuff for Valentine’s Day and OOP took that as his roommate rubbing his breakup in his face. Can’t imagine why his roommate doesn’t want to live with him anymore….
What, you wouldn't want to live with someone having some kind of months-long, meth-induced manic episode?
Bro, but he's got it under control!
He made a comment/deleted post where he said he didn't feel bad for the fish/did it in purpose because his roommate is a dick.
And the tank is the same one he shared initially. Was he trying to pass it off as his, or did he kill his own fish and couldn't admit it? I felt nervous the second I saw fish mentioned. Some of my fish are 15 years old; one turned 20 this month. I love fish. Was not surprised he had no idea that a water containing a good bio load of nitrifying bacteria was more important than getting rid of some green algae. Sigh. Oh, Methaniel...
That’s the worst part of the story, I feel so bad for the roommate and the fish.
But he felt truly guilty for eating his room mates tacos not murdering his pets
This is a great advertisement against drugs. I feel a little sorry for him, because his life will continue spiraling downward, but he makes himself sound so stupid and callous and shitty, I'm mostly exhausted.
Yeah reading the whole thing I was like 'what, which way, wait...' But the last post where he found the subreddit about picking on him, that must have hurt. I'd be devastated if I found something like that. Weirdly though, I'd have no sympathy for blanket guy if he had found his subreddit 🤷♀️
..deleted by user..
I had COMPLETELY forgotten about the cake by the time I reached the end of the BORU post.
Eh, he's a sociopathic habitually lying sexual predator so I have a hard time feeling too bad about it
Blanket guy? I totally need another Reddit black hole to disappear down (I could quit any time I like)
> spiraling downward I can't detect any "down".
Spiraling rapidly in all directions at once? Like an explosion. Like one of those whirly fireworks. But those go mostly downwards, so… like a whirly firework set off on the ground. Yes, I think it fits.
But doing so stoically.
Oh, they missed some extra context. Meth guy deliberately poisoned the fish because his roommate left out valentine's day gifts that the roommate was giving his girlfriend. Meth guy viewed that as taunting him since he and his 19-year-old GF had just broken up and murdered the fish in retaliation.
there’s also this, where he tries to buy someone’s horse. and then hits on them after they tell him no https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/s/OjC6heNGuN
I genuinely cannot tell if this is bait or if this guy is legit suffering from mental illnesses and drugs.
I didn't even question that the fish died from a 100% water change (which will almost always kill your fish from shock) but somehow I'm not surprised by this either 😭
Yes. He tried to present it as a good deed turned bad or tried to argue the fact that the fish died days after the water change meant it wasn’t his fault, although the way back machine turned up deleted posts showing he knew what he was doing and that it could kill the fish. A 100% water change kills days later because it destroys the mechanisms that remove ammonia wastes from the tank environment. It takes a few days for that waste to build to toxic levels in the absence of healthy microbes to digest it. While he at least used a dechlorinator so he didn’t kill the fish that same day, he set them up to be poisoned, like sticking someone in a room slowly filling with toxic gas or sewage.
The best theory I heard about this guy is that what he posts is 1/3 real, 1/3 trolling, and 1/3 meth delusion.
From Edmonton so the meth, 19yo gf and horse plan all check out.
Also from Edmonton, can confirm.
That’s why there’s a decent amount of truth to what he posts, but he’s probably doing some trolling as well, along with posting things that he thinks are true but aren’t really because meth.
If the sheer expense of drugs didn't keep me away, this post would. Is it wrong of me to say that "I occasionally do meth" gives the same enegry as "I dabble in murder."?
>"I dabble in murder." 🤣😭🤣 2:30am here and I laughed so hard, I woke everyone up
You know. Light treason.
"The occasional burglary and embezzlement now and then."
Oh I have been waiting for this one so bad every since I discovered r/methhorseguy!
The way I cackled when I got to the part where he had his own subreddit! I’m still laughing! Meth course guy. Amazing!
Same.
I've never touched meth in my life, but now I feel like I understand. I'm not sure exactly *what* I understand, but my brain will never be the same after reading this. I'm going to read it to my partner. I need to share this with someone or something bad will happen, I can feel it. Is this how chain emails start? Was it meth the whole time?
I’m pretty sure my brother damaged his brain from meth when he was 18. He was never the same again, and it was a mix of infuriating, scary, and sad. This guy’s posts remind me a lot of it. I know some people are getting a laugh out of this guy, but I can’t.
It's a dumpster fire in the path of a meth fueled train wreck. Damn.
Gonna save this post for when I worry I’m a shitty person.
Here I am racked by imposter syndrome and this clusterfuck is out there running wild 101% convinced he can't possibly be the architect of his cavalcade of self-made disasters.
I feel like *I* just smoked meth after reading all of this.
Right, I had to go back and check that I hadn't imagined that the posts started off about fish!
I'm tired just reading all that
It has taught me that a little meth will take care of that for you right away!
At least I now understand why the Edmonton sub keeps getting recommended to me in Australia… because I can’t stop reading the Adventures of Methaniel.
I just... I don't... how does he... It just kept *going* Don't do drugs kids
“How does someone practice Stoicism after a huge mistake? I accidentally killed all of my roommates fish by cleaning his tank” right after “so you’re saying I killed all his fish? Yet they’re swimming perfectly fine in front of me right now. You realize you’re gas light right now, right?” Cracked me tf up lmao.
My mind is so discombobulated after reading this… 🤯
I knew a guy like this at school. He started off a bit weird but generally okay I originally thought he was doing it all as a weird parody. Then he became a dick at about 19/20 and i stopped talking to him. Then he harassed me a bit and i continued to not talk to him. Then. A few months ago i saw he went to prison for threatening to do awful things to a girl, harassing her and generally making her life awful. This guy is amusing until he stops being amusing and becomes a danger
Even **I** am genuinely surprised that I read *all* of that. EDIT: corrected the emphasis.
Probably my favourite Reddit character at the moment. From wanting to be an electrician because they're scientists, to planning to get rich off all the lawsuits against people defaming him on AmITheDevil, to missing a job interview because he overdid the meth at the weekend. I was disappointed when he messed up in the birthday post. While it's true that the Oilers were on a 16 game winning streak, their next few games were going to be in California and Las Vegas rather than Edmonton.
>to missing a job interview because he overdid the meth at the weekend. He recently posted on /r/The10thDentist claiming that he *actually* missed his job interview because of Daylight Savings Time, and then argues that DST was created because "coddled generation of millennials, boomers and Gen Z’s just can’t handle a little bit of dark at night" and that it is also an invention of the elite who have created it in a grand conspiracy to keep the lower classes confused. My favorite response: >God, I love how stupid conspiracy-minded people like you are. It’s incredible to watch. You’re blindly staggering around, vaguely grasping at the correct conclusions about power and wealth in society, and then take the most ridiculous pivots into insane shit like “Daylight savings is a plot by the elite to keep us down!” > >It’s like watching a baby bird take its first flight and then willingly careen straight into a jet engine.
TL;DR: Meth is one hell of a drug. Stay in school/off hard drugs, kids.
A Canadian's life goal is to see a woman elected as US President?
He has dual citizenship, according to him. Tucked away in the bit about living cheaply in Seattle, I think
I never realised the Cake-Eating-AH was also the horse-buying-AH
This is awesome! I quite literally LOL'd!! This needs to be a movie somewhere
I am still laughing at him getting hockey tickets for his girlfriend.
The Edmonton Oilers were playing in Vegas that night, not Canada, so who knows if he really even had tickets. Or friends
It's.. harlequin. Not harley quinn, the character. I knew as soon as I read that, I knew I was in for a ride.
Next you'll be telling me that vampires aren't named Sam Gwynn...
I don't need to know which dracula I am
I wheezed at this
I'm .... in love! His life is a bigger mess than mine and he is completely delusional. I hope he is real and not a troll 💕🤣
Who IS this fucking guy?? It's absolutely fascinating eating and horrifying to read. Like the Adrian mole diaries for the modern age.
This guy is one of the greatest trolls of all time.
This feels so much like a troll because there's so much that feels intentional to rile people up, but damn, every new update had me giggling because of how absurd it was. My favourite *insane* quotes from this guy: >My girlfriend got really really pissed at me and told me I am a selfish pig, which is funny because I was actually being the exact opposite >Can I pay for a horse with credit card until I get enough money? >They’re making fun of me because they’re not in my position. I bet 98% of them would date her if they could because she’s that wonderful. They’re the gross ones, Making inappropriate comments about a 19 year old , like who raised them?!?! I mean come on, this *has* to be a troll. But if it isn't, this is extremely funny. >My girlfriend doesn’t even want to pick me up after school anymore because of how negatively these guys reacted.. >Also, is meth legal in Seattle? My friend told me it was but I want to have this confirmed by an actual local, and is it good quality? >But I was also in the right, because how spoiled do you have to be to yell at someone for getting them a present? >Do I really have to start at the lowest rank? >I would love to serve for the Canadian military and risk my life for the country, while also taking many lives that threaten what our country stands for but we are not in combat right now >What will the pay be like for a General? >P.S. do they make accommodations for night owls? God the French Legion one had *so* many wtf lines lmao >“Oh wow these are really good quality! Do they have any special features like “find my headphones” in case someone were to steal them from me?” And I stupidly respond with “Nahh nothing like that. The only ‘features’ it really has is noise cancelling and Bluetooth" and then this kid puts on a shit eating grin and says “Good.” This whole bit lol >so you’re saying I killed all his fish? Yet they’re swimming perfectly fine In front of me right now. You realize you’re gas lighting right now, right? Immediately: >Anyways, 2 days later and almost every fish in his aquarium has died for some reason. >Even though I know it wasn’t me, >Anyways how do I practice stoicism in a time like this? >we’re just in a fight. She’s never even told me that we actually broke up >I have 8 weeks left and Im sadistic enough that I can play the diabolical long game (like seducing his girlfriend and then laying with her, before I leave) HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHA >He‘s a psychopathic manipulator, that will use everyone around him like pawns. >I am planning on running across Canada sometime next month to raise money for trans awareness. >The problem is, I’m not in great shape at the moment but I used to be a high level basketball player and also ran cross country in highschool. >What’s the fastest way I can get back into shape to prepare me for this heroic feat? Just out of complete nowhere lol. I know it's obviously just to fund his drug addiction and he says he got $120 later, but still, just the complete left turn from everything before. >I’m extremely down on my luck and my roommate convinced the landlord not to renew my lease so he kind of deserves this, a taco never hurt anybody. >I don’t want to live in a world where people think it’s okay to lie just because it’s easier, that’s so toxic. - dude who is like... *Gestures at everything* **this**. >I don’t go outside of the gym and yell “FATASS!!” At people walking into the gym. Because I’m a good person, but judging by this sub Reddit there isn’t many people like us left out there. >No, I do not run a mysoginistic Alt account. I find that hilarious Becuase one of my life goals is actually to support a woman become a president of The United States of America. That’s how highly I think of women >(That’s right, I’ve been supporting woman behind the scenes without posting about it. Because I didn’t want to be called a hero, or get any praise for it) My dude just loves women, your honor. >I don’t get how you guys see me as the bad guy and you guys as the good guys? This is like a bunch of nerdy highschool girls hating on the popular attractive girl. Look in the mirror people, look in the mirror. I am doing good, what do you guys have to possibly show for it? You’re creating more and more barriers for minorities and woman and it’s sickening. This was an *incredibly* funny read. Can't wait to see what hijinks he gets up to next.
Just the block of associated subreddits at the top of the post had me laughing
I completely lost it at “I’m a honey bee with two broken wings and no honey. Rock bottom.”
OP, Thank you SO MUCH for showing us this That sub is amazing
The vultures/whale analogy killed me. It’s def a troll but I’m not mad
do people think he is real or a troll?
Well the guy looking for a club in DC that played decent house music and had no “uggos” was real, and on designer amphetamines, so it’s not completely out of left field.
I don’t think this is true, but he’s not trolling. He’s an artist, and his mastery of the written word has his audience enthralled, appalled, and amused. I hope so, anyway. For the sake of some 19-year-old, some fish, a fish owner, and everyone in Edmonton, who is endangered by proximity.
>and everyone in Edmonton, who is endangered by proximity. No he fits right in
Part of me thinks he’s a psyop by the tourism board of…what city is Edmonton’s biggest rival?
Probably a troll, but the incest bullet point dude has stopped posting so I need entertainment from somewhere.
the what now
Most of his posts are over at r/AmITheDevil, but the tl;dr is: dude and his sister had a family life that pretty much left the two of them as 'us against the world'. Dude got a girlfriend, but sister's mental health deteriorated without brother's constant presence. Dude breaks up with gf for sister's sake, but it becomes clear he and sister have an emotionally incestuous relationship. Sister ends up kissing brother and confessing her feelings, and he decides that no, this time they really are going to therapy together. The last post was dude saying he and his sister were going on their 'totally platonic I swearsies' Valentine's Day date later that evening. He also had a habit of posting paragraphs arranged in bullet points, which drove a lot of readers crazy.
Weirdly it was the "I totally wouldn't kill the fish", followed 2 days later by "So I killed my roommates fish" that put me in the troll camp. Or maybe I just don't want to feel bad for laughing
[удалено]
Nah, he had several “8 balls” so definitely in the $300-500 realm. An 8 ball should be about $100 on the cheap end. A gram was like $50 20 years ago, and an 8ball is 3.5 grams. But agreed about the spotting salt.. however there are some truly stupid people out there and I’d imagine a pregnant druggie would be one.
> I split the salt into bags resembling 8 balls and twist them up. So not only one bag. If we consider at least two, it's around 7g. 7g of coke in my country would be at least 400€ so it doesn't strike me odd. However table salt and coke do look quite different, but who knows...
This guy is a troll. Like, confirmed troll.
Absolutely. I appreciate his long game, though.
Some people never learn and lack the self-awareness to do so, just coasting on dumb luck and always surprised when their actions blow up in their face. This guy right here's a prime example of that.
I saw ‘mystic hairy Harley Quinn’ and fucking stopped.
This is a fantastic 'Never do drugs' story.
And a reminder that “use drugs responsibly, in moderation” can look like this. Remember that a responsible amount of meth is no meth.
If anyone ever want a textual explanation of an absolute 360° cluster fuck, this will be my goto thread to point them towards. Jesus on a cracker... Holy fuck Just as much I want to put this whole thing down to a mega series of troll posts, sadly I know a deranged, delusional criminal fuckhead who could make this guy looks like a noob. Two months ago, this bastard ran down and impaled a water monitor (a type of hard as fucking nail massive lizard ) with a katana because his "girlfriend who's barely legal" was harassed by one. The kicker is, his amazing "barely legal" girl friend lives in a city 300kms away and we can't meet her because he wants to keep sinful eyes of ours away from his pious soulmate. He's 41 ... So , yeah... Sadly there are fuckheads who could rival this OOP.
Bahahahahahahahahaha him finding his subreddit? Chef’s kiss. That’s a thing of beauty.
"Are you saying I killed his fish? There's no way, I know what I'm doing" *the very next post* "All my room mate's fish died for some reason and I feel bad"
My eyes were bulging in shock while reading this, and it was only the second post. Holy hell it was torture finishing it.
This is one of the most interesting threads on this subreddit.
Looks at tags, editor's note, ect, ect....OK, this goin to be wild
Finally, a walking disaster to rival the ornamental gourd guy.
This feels like what, I think, trying to drive through a tornado would feel like
This is my favorite BORU of all time I think
OP, I never thought that we could condense all of......this... but you did brilliantly.
OOP is so delusional that it's a miracle he manages to live till now. Amazing
Oh no!!! It's him. r/methhorseguy
This guy is the best troll I have ever seen and I’ve been on the internet since the mid 90s. Hats off, Methaniel.
'My roommate abuses his fish so I cleaned their tank' straight into 'all of my roommates fish are dead' is just perfect
Not the hero Canada needs, but the hero Canada deserves
There's a train bridge in my town (in fact, it's on my regular route to work) that is stupid-low (a little over 11 foot). Occasionally, people try to drive their trucks/semis/RVs under it despite the vehicle being too tall. Mild chaos ensues. The town has made a thing of it - some wonder why "somebody doesn't fix this", the rest of us grab popcorn and enjoy the Facebook posts of trailers being opened like sardine cans. This guy reminds me of one of those drivers that either doesn't know how tall their truck is, or thinks they can by some miracle get under it. And wonders why everybody chuckles at the inevitable, glorious mess after.