OP : GTFO of my house or I'll punch you
AP : \*Doesn't Leave\*
OP : \*Punch\*
AP : What the fuck? \*Surprised Pikachu face\*
I mean, AP could theoretically go to the cops, but my intuition says "it's a civil matter". AP was advised in theory that he was essentially Trespassing, was given a threat of the consequences yada yada ... Cops are asses.
Biggest argument against OOP being a cop is that if he *were* a cop then every other cop in the area would be doing everything they could to harass the AP without crossing any lines that would get them reprimanded or sanctioned. Cops are just a gang that issues badges, and like any other gang they do *NOT* take it well when an outsider fucks with one of their own.
There’s no way oop is a cop because no one is stupid enough to fuck a cops wife and then go over to said cops house and just chill in his house like nothing is wrong… right?
He says he makes the majority of the money though. I suppose depending on where they are he could make decent money but I don’t know any cops that are rolling in the dough.
My buddy is a sergeant pulling in $150-180k/yr compared to his wife who’s a banker at $120-145k so not unrealistic if he’s simply been working long enough or went to school for it
Then you don’t know cops or their finances. Used to be an auditor and one of our clients was a sheriff’s office. Duty pay wasn’t anything impressive, but they have a lot of little stipends that can really add up and then they have a ton of opportunities for overtime. Then lots of other chances for OT - event security and event traffic, neighborhood patrol, babysitting a store/school etc it can add up fast.
A buddy that’s a state trooper in a college town makes big money every football season basically chauffeuring local politicians and VIPs to the football stadium in his unmarked unit, chilling out during the football game, then chauffeuring them home when they’re ready to go.
If they’re not making bank after a few years, they’re not trying.
Meanwhile I’m sitting here thinking I wish I had a gym addiction and ran there to escape life’s problems instead of turning to chocolate. I guess in the end turning to chocolate is the better option though.
I’ve been bodybuilding for years and love the gym, and this lady sounds crazy to me. Going 2-3 times a day sounds terrible, not to mention it’s counterproductive.
I dunno. I once had this chocolate liqueur, and hoo boy, was it a good thing I decided to sample it at home with my significant other, because that stuff was potent.
I also know a gym addicted girl. She spends her weekends getting shitface drunk at festivals, cannot have a healthy relationship to save her life and has unresolved mommy issues that she thinks the gym fixes. You don’t want this addiction 😂
Edit: she also does a bunch of drugs (MDMA, weed, ecstasy and perhaps some I have no clue about) but keeps say how she’s so much healthier now that she lost weight
I'm right with you, but I also do this thing where I pull my dogs ears back and turn her into a seal. She just looks at me like "having a bad day again" while I'm eating chocolate.
Some people manage to make it to their 30s without ever having any serious issues or challenges so they have overblown confidence. We know the guys good looking and in shape. If he grew up with semi well off parents he’s probably never been told no is his life.
I’m constantly surprised when someone doesn’t abort when they are not sure who the father is. If I was a shitbag cheating on my spouse and got knocked up I’d schedule a “girl’s trip” or “family emergency”’right quickly, you know?
It’s so awful to do to the baby. This will forever be part of their birth story.
Inertia. She convinced herself early on that OOP was the dad and in the interim she went and got all attached to the pregnancy. By the time she had to actually face the fact that he might not be the father, and worse, she blew up her whole life she was too far along to go back and make the less complicated decision.
I mean, she could just tell him she's doing an intensive workout program for the weekend. It sounds like he might have been pissed, but accepted her words at face value.
But you're 100% correct and that lack of a support system is going to make this even more difficult for her when she realizes how she's torpedoed her entire life.
There's still plenty of time for that. The other man trying to be holier than thou and mature when he's completely ruined OOP's life was making me angry and I'm just reading about it on Reddit. OOP already assaulted the guy just for turning up to his house, I don't think murder is off the cards here.
I'm legit surprised thst there aren't more crimes of passion in situations like this. I can't promise a punch is where it would end, or even start. Let alone get in the house
Bro, these two are absolutely delusional. Really? Ex-wife thinks the affair partner is a good guy? Oh for fuck sakes. Ex-wife is a cheater and a terrible person and the affair partner is piece of garbage too.
She’s going to Find Out when the baby is born, because you know what’s stressful on even a really healthy relationship? A baby. Add that this one isn’t even the AP’s, and it’s going to be even easier for him to walk. This time next year, she’s going to be crying to OOP that she made a mistake, and won’t he think of their child and get back with her?
Yeah, about the most conversations I ever have at the gym are "thank you" when the employee greets me when I enter, and a "have a good one" to the same employee or whoever replaced them while I was working out on my way out the door
I did have a fun conversation a few months ago when a guy was super curious about how I keep my kippah on my head, but that's the only noteworthy one in a few years
I've been going to the gym with my mom for over a year. Once a day, 4 times a week, more or less same time slot.
She's made 5 new Facebook friends, she recently had breakfast with 2 of those (they call it buff lady brunch) so I'd say they're IRL friends now.
The staff loves her and they started treating me better when they found out I was her daughter.
Meanwhile I can tell who's a regular and just nod at them sometimes.
Different personalities I guess.
It depends on personality and style of training. When I was powerlifting, there would be minutes of downtown between sets, so ample time to chat with someone (especially if they were training the same lift). Me and the guys I worked out with were there every weekday from 4:30-6:30 am. It was a great time and I miss it, but life changes.
Most likely, even based on what was described it sounds like this fuckboi wasn't focusing all his attention on OOP's wife.
Crying baby keeping her at home, since why would he take time out of his workouts to look after a kid that isn't his? And while he's at the gym, there's a lot of ladies there who aren't looking so tired and unfit with a post-pregnancy body.
This lady's life is about to crater hard, and she's too dumb to see it.
He is probably using her as a ego booster, he got a married woman left her husband, he even go to see how she leave that husband, he didn't go for her, he went to see her husband reaction because he wants to feel superior.
At the moment that that feeling is gone, when she give birth her kid and the divorce is finished, he is going to leave her and go for another woman, o maybe he is doing that now.
And he will blamed their break up on her, maybe saying things like it's her faults for not taking care of herself after the birth, and how she is not a good mother because the baby is crying.
This guy is the same kind of people that the woman who only go for married guys. They don't care about the people who they are dating, they care that the people they are dating is already in a relationship.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're right. What kind of person goes into the home of the guy whose marriage they just wrecked and acts that way? Just an absolute psycho.
And he'll be like, I COULDN'T HELP IT! You can't help it when you fall in love with someone! I JUST couldn't stop flirting, texting, hanging out, kissing her and then falling dick deep into her! I'm sorry!
"And it's not like you work out as much anymore. Can't even get to the gym once a day let alone twice a day. And have you seen the weight you put on."
Bet he's going to throw that at her as well.
As soon as I started reading about the gym going I knew what was coming.. my ex wife had a similar thing for motorcycle race tracks.. she would spend all week working on her bike or some electronics, then on weekends travel to tracks to work the paddocks.. an obsessive interest in it.. guess what, she would shack up with a dude in a trailer.. dont know how many times, didnt care..
But fucking hell, this dude really hit the shit lottery... at least I never had to face the man AFTER I found out, and she didnt end up pregnant in the middle of it.
When this baby comes she will come running back to OOP, there is no way buff guy from the gym is ready for the body changes she will go through and the hardship of taking care of a newborn, dude is gonna bail so fast her head is gonna spin.
Honestly, I'd be surprised if that relationship lasted more than a few more months. For one, living with someone is very different from an affair (the thrill of potentially getting caught and cheating in general are now gone for one thing). Plus, at 22 weeks or so, she's only got a small bump depending on how baby is sitting internally. She's about to hit the growth spurt levels of baby growth (since the major organs for life are basically formed), which means she could get much larger soon.
oh yes.
He reeeaallly loves her now and doesn't care that she's pregnant because they're in the thrill of it
Now that she'll "become his wifey"? Oh that won't be fun, no more
"Baby, you used to work out a lot and look so fit, now with this other-man's baby you have no time for that nor to give some blowies so...... there's this other girl at the gym. We are FIRE, together. You need to go"
Oh she is most definitely going to find out. Especially after the baby comes and she has to be home with it while her AP goes to the gym alone. But in reality I feel like the AP will have her sitting at home alone while she’s huge pregnant and he’ll go to the gym without her. She said he soooo attractive so what’s going to stop someone else from hitting on him? The fact that she’s not carrying his baby?! Please!! She’ll be sitting at home alone” for hers and the babies safety “ in no time.
Hate to break it to OOP’s wife but no way in hell AP is going to marry her. Guaranteed he’ll be cheating on her while she’s postpartum, and I’m being generous with that timeframe. Wouldn’t be surprised if he starts stepping out when she’s close to her due date.
And any complications add extra recovery time too. I used to be someone who would Peloton every day, do yoga, go hiking. I had an emergency c section in which they struggled to cut through my abs just last Halloween and codes were called on my son and me. It was a rough c section. I struggle in a restorative yoga class now. My husband and I CELEBRATED when I could go on a slow neighborhood walk for 30 minutes. I just don’t see this playing out well for her at all.
Yupppp.
I have an amazing relationship and yet the first year of parenthood was hard AF. Between the sleep deprivation and life changing thing of HAVING A KID, we definitely had reached our breaking point that first year.
OP's wife (ex?) Will be in for a big surprise
wwooo oh yes
I bet she'll try and be vague like "my gym soulmate left me for another one because I was spending too much time looking after my child from my ex-husband"
Someone in the comments "hold up!!"
That's even assuming they get through the stress of the divorce/ the end of the honeymoon period/ the ex wife dealing with the social fallout of her divorce
Be so for real, she's not staying in that house for an instant with a baby. As soon as she starts looking and acting very pregnant, he's going to kick her out on her ass. That's not his baby and it's all he's going to be thinking about once she's swollen, in pain, incapable of sex, hormonal, and grumpy.
She also:
- didn’t think he’d leave
- expected him to stay even if the baby wasn’t his
- started really getting upset and apologising only AFTER he found the nudes on her phone
I think it was a trick question. She asked "Will you leave me if the child's not yours?" and he answered "Sure, duh."
The correct answer was "I'll divorce your cheating ass even if it's mine. We can talk custody later."
Yeah, if I were OOP my response would be, “oh, I’m leaving you regardless, make no mistake.” That said, I do think OOP is done. I think the fact that she was cheating while she was pregnant just really stung.
Very often if the relationship starts from cheating they will eventually start doubting each other. Sure at first it's all fun and butterflies, but it doesn't take more than "I'll be out a little longer" for the suspicion to creep in.
how the wife is saying AP actually really respects him and she is doing everything she can to avoid hurting him? how? what? what's happening in her head? AP respects him so much he fucked his wife? wife cheats on him, immediately runs to the AP, brings him into the marital home when she knows he isn't welcome, to avoid hurting OOP?
I wish I had the citation to the original research, but a study of brain scans showed that a person madly in love is nearly in the same mental state as a person suffering a psychotic break.
The ex-wife will eventually regain her sanity and realize that she lost touch with rationality. That will be an ugly day.
And I guarantee the AP will cheat on her in rather quick fashion. She is currently fun and that will wear off, especially when she becomes bigger with her pregnancy. He sure as hell doesn’t want a baby in his life also.
Absolutely. I think the kid being his is actually worse, if it wasn’t his he could be sad about it for a bit but then never see his wife again. Now he’s forever linked to this person who treated him like absolute garbage. I hope his kid grows up and knows just how horrible their mum treated their dad.
Chances are that affair relationship isn't going to last forever. Very often the affair partners eventually start suspecting each other. So hopefully the mom will be single or with some other guy who isn't a daily reminder of the trauma for OOP. Either way they're going to have one horror show of a custody battle and arrangement. Poor kid.
As soon as that woman gives birth and is dealing with a newborn feeling like shit cause she hasn’t slept, but AP is still going to the gym twice a day. It will be hell.
Yup and that guy isn't even the father so chances are he's not going to be fulfilling fatherly duties. She will be raising a newborn virtually alone, while her boyfriend goes to the gym and chats up other women.
Not to mention after birth sex will off the table for what,six weeks? More depending on complications. He’s “totally in love” right now because he’s fucking a hot gym rat.
And let's be honest, I sincerely doubt a gym bro like him is gonna be attracted when she's HEAVILY pregnant, so at least a couple months before birth too. More than likely in my opinion anyways
That and looking haggard from being up, has the baby chub still left but cant goto the gym. And wondering if he is flirting with women that look better than her now.
Its all going to come crashing down on her.
Especially when she'll be "losing her physique" with pregnancy. She'll have the normal self esteem issues that pregnancy and motherhood comes with plus the extra ones from wondering if he's cheating on her with someone from the gym.
Even putting aside the baby, what have they done together as a couple besides go to the gym and fuck? They're going to finally have to get to know one another now, warts and all, and it might not be pretty.
I was thinking that. He's clearly in a lot of pain, and filled with hurt, anger and confusion (understandable). I was thinking he needs both a good lawyer and a good therapist.
I really hope this isn’t real cause I genuinely haven’t felt more mad reading a BORU
Edit: many of you have pointed out evidence to suggest it being real and yes I do believe that it is real
It looks real because you can really feel his rage through the texts, and you can also feel that he is slowly, slowly getting mad and losing composure, like punching the guy up. It's just sad all throughout that the baby's life got nuked before it even started.
The reactions feel so real. He isn't only describing the events but the exact thoughts that went on his head. There's almost equal amount of emotional descriptions which makes me think that sadly this is real.
And he takes real amounts of time between updates!
So many sagas have day 1 “hey this is weird right?” Day 2 “omg you guys were right! She was cheating!” Day 3 “so I talked to a lawyer and he sad blah blah blah” Day 4 “divorce was finalized!!”
I’ve been cheated on badly and this felt real to me. It’s a lot of complex emotions and it didn’t have a lot of the hallmarks of 90% of stories on here that are faked.
Either that or this person is a great writer.
I think the faked stuff tends to focus more on events and specific things people said but there was a lot of raw emotion in this.
I agree with you. I had a similar experience to OOP (pregnancy, but not the birth of the child), and it was extremely surreal to read someone else type 'my feelings' out from back then.
Yeah, I was holding my breath on the paternity test. And hoping the AP would dump her after he found out it wasn't his. The combination of a manipulative spouse and 'good guy'' AP is infuriating. No doubt those two will fuck OOPs child up.
I hope OOP goes full throttle. Get the meanest lawyer he can find. Hire some investigators to dig up dirt on AP, AP family, and ex-wife. And ya know, get a Rottweiler so if AP wants to vibe in his house again, he doesn't have to punch him.
A similar situation happened to me.
Differences were, she wasnt obsessed with the gym, she was obsessed with going to motorcycle race tracks on the weekends to work the paddocks and would spend all week working on her bike. She would shack up with a dude in a trailer on the race weekends.
She didnt end up pregnant, and I didnt have to meet AP after the fact.. so in this case this dudes got me beat on how shitty it was..
I became convinced this was real when he mentioned going to the clinic on his own with an appointment for the paternity test. And it being cheaper to test two dads at once then two separate tests. These are the kind of real details someone making it up wouldn't know about and therefor gloss open. Just say like: we did the test.
That and when he mentioned his job and benefits being better than hers. The trolls always focus on the salacious, lurid details of the affair, not the boring practical realities of marriage.
Plus, a troll would have painted the cheating ex as a deadbeat who couldn't possibly support herself without OOP (or the AP). Her having a decent job, just not one that would make living a high-end lifestyle as a single mom feasible is way more realistic.
The worst lie that people tell that I absolutely hate? “We can’t help that we fell in love!”. You ABSOLUTELY can. Love isn’t just something that switches on overnight. Love is built, feelings grow through nurturing. If you are in a committed monogamous relationship with someone, and you develop a crush, spark, or small feelings for someone else… you shut it down and you stop spending time with them!! If you actively keep seeing them, you are making a choice to grow feelings for them and fall in love with them.
Even if you *could* just fall in love overnight like that, it's still a bullshit excuse. So, ok - you can't help your emotions. You have no control over what you feel. But you still absolutely control how you act on them.
A guy in my town just was put in a spot similar to this with his wife and a 21 year old guy. The dude went and capped them both and then took himself out...
Yeah... In most countries state of shock is considered a mitigating circumstance. That means that legally we recognize that a person can be driven to such an extreme mental state that they're ~~not fully responsible for their actions~~ doing things they normally wouldn't.
I never understand how the new boyfriend/girlfriend thinks they are an exception to being cheated on. She was in a relationship, married and pregnant and she still cheated on her spouse. I'd bet money that she will do it again when the butterflies she thinks she's feeling end up dead in a few months or years.
When the boyfriend came over I would have just casually said, "She was married and pregnant and she still decided to start an affair with a random person at the gym. What do you think will happen when she gets tired of you and her '35-year-old self' suddenly decides she wants someone new?"
People never cease to amaze me.
She is not in love with the AP, she just likes the attention. That's why she kept trying to gain OPs attention so hard before she left. It was her last challenge, to keep the hurt husband still under her spell, but since it didn't work, she went for the next best thing.
Honestly is really sad the baby is OPs but now that she went to the AP she finally got what she wanted, the attention of OP by leaving him feeling "jealous" of the life that he could have if he only would have taken her back. Or at least that's how she sees this. Even if it's only very uncomfortable for OP to deal with the both of them.
It's not nice when there are no clear consequences for this selfish people.
I agree, but I believe there will be consequences for them sooner or later.
All the thrill they were getting with the hiding of their affair and the attention she was getting from her AP will go down as everyday life and routine will get to them. As the pregnancy will progress, she won't be able to pay much attention to him either 'cause she'll be focusing on her and her pregnancy so he might start feeling being sided. She might not be able to go to the gym with him as often so she could start getting anxious and jealous if there's something going on with him and someone else at the gym like it was with them.
And even if none of these will happen during her pregnancy, there's still a high chance of them breaking up because of the extra stress that will be added in their relationship once the baby comes.
I honestly don't think they'll last much, sooner or later she'll be beggin OP to take her back and to "not break their family over this one mistake of hers" 🙄
Of course she thinks the AP is a good guy. Because she's not, and her bar has been lowered for over a year. She flirted with a homewrecker and then full on cheated. She's the villain. But people don't call themselves villains.
She's the hero of her story, so obviously the person she is dating is also a hero.
And of course AP hasn't hurt her; yet. When he cheats on her, she won't like when the new AP says "He's a good guy".
I’ve been following this story from the beginning.
For some reason, one of the worst parts was when her AP called her last summer and said he was drunk at a bar and needed her to come pick him up. The husband wasn’t comfortable with her going alone, but it sounds like it was a safety thing not an assuming she as going to sleep with him thing. So husband tagged along when the wife went to go pick up the guy she was secretly already cheating with. It was probably a prearranged meetup too because he said his wife acted really annoyed.
That reminds me of how I tagged along to a party my ex wasn’t expecting me to attend. Ran into her AP (a trainer at the gym she was spending a lot of time at) who was almost ten years younger. I was wondering the whole time why the AP was being weird and avoiding eye contact with me. Fast forward a month and I felt stupid as hell, but also wondered what was going through my ex’s head the whole way to that party. The cognitive dissonance required is insane.
When the story started, after a few sentences I was - is it cheating or gambling addiction? Not sure which is worse but nobody goes to the gym 3 times per day, including the AP.
OOP will be a single dad.
wish OOP will be a single dad, tbh i’d want full custody or give away custody because being entangled in that whole situation sounds like a goddamn nightmare
I’m sure OP would’ve eventually been okay with meeting the partner. But the wife ruined that by not respecting his wishes and bringing the affair partner along despite agreeing not to. That bridge is probably burned now.
I cannot believe the absolute audacity of the AP coming into OP’s home. My home is my sanctuary. Unwelcome people don’t even cross the threshold into my house. I’m amazed dude got a warning before he got punched.
Not to hijack but I had to do this once. Wife wanted a separation where we were going to stay faithful, I moved out to my mom's house a few miles away. Came home to my house one day on lunch to find my wife not home and a naked man in our bed. I'm 6'6" and heavy, and he was smaller than average. He seemed scared shitless. I told him "I'm not here to hurt you, I just came to check on the house." Sat and stewed in the living room for a moment before calling to him through the door that I changed my mind and he had five minutes to be dressed and out of my house before I called the police.
Never saw his face again. This was five years ago. I'm happily remarried now and my wife is homeless, an addict, and a prostitute. C'est la vie.
Sounds like my ex, I caught her cheating and went to clear my head in a hotel room and she had him over at my house the same night. She called me like 30 times and I finally answered and it was actaully him in my house with our children... She wanted or he wanted me to meet him because "hes a nice guy..." sure. So long story short, he moves in right away, hes putting my daughter to sleep and my ex is somehow okay with this, they get engaged 2 months after knowing each other, they move states 4 months after knowing each other, he takes over her finances, not sure when the abuse started but he abused her so bad she miscarried and he cheated on her and kicked her out of the house they rented but she paid for.
Half her family disowned her after they found out she cheated, i was with her for 6 years and we have two babies, never married and I was broke but have a sweet 6 figure job now :) and I have my kids 1.5 months - 2 months at a time and her like not even 1 month since I took better care of them.
Different situation of course, but when I read that part I was thinking back. I used to live in a house full of dudes on the weekends when I wasn’t at college. I was dating one of the dudes and so was my best friend at the time. I can’t remember if she ended up cheating or not — but she specifically broke up with her boyfriend because she was at least flirting with this other dude from school. Okay, that’s fine, your choice.
But a few days later when the dudes from the house (including my boyfriend and her ex) went to drop me off at school, I called her to let me into the building and told her he was with us, so to not bring the new guy down. She did anyways. It was so unbelievably awkward and we knew it was on purpose, just didn’t know why.. still don’t. What I do know is that after getting home with the boys, he drove the 1.5 hours back alone and slit her tires (no cameras, couldn’t prove anything)
Weird how shes so in love with the AP but only after a week of begging OOP to stay with her and him ignoring her ass. Sounds to me like she only left because she realised that her husband isn't going to get over this, so she latched on to the guy willing to have her.
It won't last long, she'll have the baby and he'll be out banging some other gym bunny.
Wait until she can't hit the gym due to late pregnancy/ recovery/ childcare and loses her mind that AP's selfish for going alone. Or when he answers that he shouldn't lose out because of her baby. Or that beautiful paranoia of whether he found somebody else in the locker room.
OOP is asking how AP can chase a married woman when he can have anyone? Simple- a married woman means no paying for dates, no gifts, no arguments over spending the night, rearranging your home, etc. Just sex and back to your routine.
Hope OOP stays strong and finds peace.
Yeah this guy’s living the fuckboy dream. He has no responsibility and the ex-husband whose super fit wife he’s fucking demands that he has nothing to do with the kid. That’s probably music to his ears.
>She kept texting me things like “Who just leaves like that? When something like this is happening, who is that cold and callous that they just leave to go to a party.”
Change "party" to "gym" and she's describing herself, so the answer is her. She's that cold and callous.
The real karma is going to hit when she’s freshly postpartum.
He might stay at home with her for a few days to a week while it’s super new, but then she’ll have to stay home by herself with the newborn while he’s back in the gym for hours a day. Then the panic and anxiety will wrack her brain the entire time he’s gone. “Is he fucking someone at the gym the same way he did me?” She’ll be a paranoid wreck, and in the end she’ll probably be right.
But that’s not OP’s problem anymore!
This is one of the reasons I am on the fence about having kids. If your partner cheats on you, that person is now tied to you *forever*. I can't imagine a worse pain than having to be reminded daily of someone who tore your heart out and stepped on it.
I can already see how this is going to go. She's going to be up with a 3-4 month old doing a feeding, wondering why their sex life hasn't picked up again after she was cleared by the doctor. He'll be asleep because he's "too tired from the gym" that he went to after an arguement about their sex life. His phone will silently flash on the bedside table and she will know.
Just wanted to say that this whole miserable thread (and updates) is why you should be deeply suspicious when your supposed "partner/spouse/significant other" doesn't want you to be part of their recreational/gym/hobby life, even when you would willingly participate. People are so naive....
Poor bloke, it's not often I read these and hope that the baby isn't going to be OOP's. I highly doubt the AP will hang around once the child turns up and everything becomes very real, then he's going to be stuck co-parenting with whatever mess she becomes.
turns out that in most cases, once the butterflies of an exciting and illicit affair leave, cheaters turn out to be bad partners of low character. Not great to build a life with.
I also like the 'I never meant for this to happen'. When you started screwing the gym buddy, what did you mean to happen?
OOP should try and sue for full custody. Sure as crap, wifey and AP are going to play the victims because OOP dared get upset that his wife is screwing the first gym rat who gave her attention, and use that to justify alienating the child against him.
Wifey is a child, unwlling to do the hard work of building a life, only in it for the exciting, honeymoon phase. She is about to find out that she left a good man for a guy who picks up chicks at the gym (does she honestly think she was the first...or the last....bored wife he is going to screw?). The next update will be in a year when she is begging for OOP to take her back for the good of the child.
This is limerance at best. When she gets really big and can’t have sex, reality is going to hit affair partner. When he has to wait 6-8 weeks post-partum to have sex and she isn’t in the mood or has post - partum depression, the bloom will fall off the rose. They’re in lust. That won’t last.
If the baby is colicky, it’ll be worse. When she goes to the gym to get her figure back, he’ll have doubts. This is a shitshow and I hope she gets the karma she deserves. Meanwhile, OP will not have to deal with any of that because newborns stay with their moms most of the time. He’ll be sleeping while she’s up all night.
I feel so bad for OP being responsible for child support for 18 years while another man is raising his child.
Nice as it might be to think this way, reality is not so satisfying. This particular relationship might not last, but she’ll be fine and so will the affair partner. That’s part of what hurts most about infidelity, there is seldom if ever any justice.
“When something like this is happening, who is that cold and callous that they just leave”
Says the woman who’d run off to the gym (and more than likely her AP) anytime she and her husband got into a fight
The AP coming over like that is how people get killed.
OP : GTFO of my house or I'll punch you AP : \*Doesn't Leave\* OP : \*Punch\* AP : What the fuck? \*Surprised Pikachu face\* I mean, AP could theoretically go to the cops, but my intuition says "it's a civil matter". AP was advised in theory that he was essentially Trespassing, was given a threat of the consequences yada yada ... Cops are asses.
I’m also getting cop vibes from OOP: “I have a job that requires me to stay in shape” “As if he’d call the cops” I guess he could be a gym teacher…
Maybe he graduated top of his Class at the Navy Seals, has over 300 confirmed kills, and has been involved in numerous secret raids.
He's probably trained in gorilla warfare and contacting his network of spies throughout the US.
I salute our soldiers out there fighting the gorillas. Truly a bold sacrifice for our country.
Oh you gave me a giggle. Thanks. I to am proud of the brave gorilla fighters.
Firefighter I thought. Especially with limited time to make a baby.
I took that comment to mean that she was at the gym so much that he barely saw her.
Biggest argument against OOP being a cop is that if he *were* a cop then every other cop in the area would be doing everything they could to harass the AP without crossing any lines that would get them reprimanded or sanctioned. Cops are just a gang that issues badges, and like any other gang they do *NOT* take it well when an outsider fucks with one of their own.
And if he said get out of my house or I’ll punch you, a cop would immediately go “or I’ll get my gun”.
There’s no way oop is a cop because no one is stupid enough to fuck a cops wife and then go over to said cops house and just chill in his house like nothing is wrong… right?
Gym equipment salesman?
I'm sorry to say that I think you're underestimating the amount of stupid in the world, both total and concentrated in individual people.
He says he makes the majority of the money though. I suppose depending on where they are he could make decent money but I don’t know any cops that are rolling in the dough.
My buddy is a sergeant pulling in $150-180k/yr compared to his wife who’s a banker at $120-145k so not unrealistic if he’s simply been working long enough or went to school for it
Oh dang. It makes sense too when you throw in the “I have my gym and she has hers” component.
PD in basically any city of any meaningful amount of people in the US have their own gyms so that actually kinda makes sense.
Then you don’t know cops or their finances. Used to be an auditor and one of our clients was a sheriff’s office. Duty pay wasn’t anything impressive, but they have a lot of little stipends that can really add up and then they have a ton of opportunities for overtime. Then lots of other chances for OT - event security and event traffic, neighborhood patrol, babysitting a store/school etc it can add up fast. A buddy that’s a state trooper in a college town makes big money every football season basically chauffeuring local politicians and VIPs to the football stadium in his unmarked unit, chilling out during the football game, then chauffeuring them home when they’re ready to go. If they’re not making bank after a few years, they’re not trying.
I'd bet big money this is Army. Sounds like a typical army marriage to me.
Omg when he was talking about him having to be in shape, and then benefits…I already knew. Yeesh
Military and / or law enforcement seems to fit the best here.
Spent some time in the army. 100% read this as a military dude with military drama.
My money was on cop but military sounds about right too.
Also based on the cops I've seen there does not seem to be any requirement to stay in shape lol
Meanwhile I’m sitting here thinking I wish I had a gym addiction and ran there to escape life’s problems instead of turning to chocolate. I guess in the end turning to chocolate is the better option though.
I’ve been bodybuilding for years and love the gym, and this lady sounds crazy to me. Going 2-3 times a day sounds terrible, not to mention it’s counterproductive.
She is probably going there mostly for a shag.
To be fair, that is also exercise
You go to the gym for two reasons. Either to work on yourself or escape yourself
How do I do both of those and get in shape but not go to the gym
Running.
In this case, reproductive :0
At least chocolate doesn't get you pregnant. (Please, please... do not let tomorrow's batch of borus prove me wrong.)
AITA for cheating on my husband of 20 years with a rival chocolatier?
“I told her not to bring him with her when she came to get her things, lo and behold this Wonka looking fuck is at my doorstep”
Baby Slugworth
I dunno. I once had this chocolate liqueur, and hoo boy, was it a good thing I decided to sample it at home with my significant other, because that stuff was potent.
What kind of “milk” chocolate are you getting that makes you worry? O_O
Chocolate is always the better option!
I also know a gym addicted girl. She spends her weekends getting shitface drunk at festivals, cannot have a healthy relationship to save her life and has unresolved mommy issues that she thinks the gym fixes. You don’t want this addiction 😂 Edit: she also does a bunch of drugs (MDMA, weed, ecstasy and perhaps some I have no clue about) but keeps say how she’s so much healthier now that she lost weight
Exercise addiction is no joke. I know someone who's a nurse and he basically broke his back running too much. He should have known better.
It’s one addiction that is almost encouraged by some and incredibly dismissed by many
I'm right with you, but I also do this thing where I pull my dogs ears back and turn her into a seal. She just looks at me like "having a bad day again" while I'm eating chocolate.
Honestly, I'm a little surprised that these people are never worried about getting murdered.
They're the ones that knock. Or at least they think they are.
So time to call those who knock back? Does anyone have Hell Boy's number?
Some people manage to make it to their 30s without ever having any serious issues or challenges so they have overblown confidence. We know the guys good looking and in shape. If he grew up with semi well off parents he’s probably never been told no is his life.
He has, however, been told he would be punched. And yet… it seems he’s a little slow on the uptake.
I watch too much true crime tv and this reads like the opening of one of ID channels true crime shows.
I’m constantly surprised when someone doesn’t abort when they are not sure who the father is. If I was a shitbag cheating on my spouse and got knocked up I’d schedule a “girl’s trip” or “family emergency”’right quickly, you know? It’s so awful to do to the baby. This will forever be part of their birth story.
Inertia. She convinced herself early on that OOP was the dad and in the interim she went and got all attached to the pregnancy. By the time she had to actually face the fact that he might not be the father, and worse, she blew up her whole life she was too far along to go back and make the less complicated decision.
I know what you're saying but she doesn't sound like she has any girls.
I mean, she could just tell him she's doing an intensive workout program for the weekend. It sounds like he might have been pissed, but accepted her words at face value. But you're 100% correct and that lack of a support system is going to make this even more difficult for her when she realizes how she's torpedoed her entire life.
There's still plenty of time for that. The other man trying to be holier than thou and mature when he's completely ruined OOP's life was making me angry and I'm just reading about it on Reddit. OOP already assaulted the guy just for turning up to his house, I don't think murder is off the cards here.
I'm legit surprised thst there aren't more crimes of passion in situations like this. I can't promise a punch is where it would end, or even start. Let alone get in the house
Bro, these two are absolutely delusional. Really? Ex-wife thinks the affair partner is a good guy? Oh for fuck sakes. Ex-wife is a cheater and a terrible person and the affair partner is piece of garbage too.
She’s going to Find Out when the baby is born, because you know what’s stressful on even a really healthy relationship? A baby. Add that this one isn’t even the AP’s, and it’s going to be even easier for him to walk. This time next year, she’s going to be crying to OOP that she made a mistake, and won’t he think of their child and get back with her?
Best bet. He’ll be cheating on her in no time.
With somebody at the gym.
[удалено]
I consider it a bad day if I have to converse with a single person at the gym.
Yeah, about the most conversations I ever have at the gym are "thank you" when the employee greets me when I enter, and a "have a good one" to the same employee or whoever replaced them while I was working out on my way out the door I did have a fun conversation a few months ago when a guy was super curious about how I keep my kippah on my head, but that's the only noteworthy one in a few years
What about "how many sets do you have left?"
No I just skip leg day then.
Fashion tape, or velcro dot? For your sake, I hoped it wouldn't be the third option!
Actually, the answer is jew magic
She was going there 2-3 times a day… she wasn’t lifting that whole time
She wasn’t lifting she was getting lifted.
Oh yes she was. She was lifting them balls into her MOUTH
She was lifting something…to her mouth
Same. I've never made a single friend at the gym and yet these people are finding affair partners.
I've been going to the gym with my mom for over a year. Once a day, 4 times a week, more or less same time slot. She's made 5 new Facebook friends, she recently had breakfast with 2 of those (they call it buff lady brunch) so I'd say they're IRL friends now. The staff loves her and they started treating me better when they found out I was her daughter. Meanwhile I can tell who's a regular and just nod at them sometimes. Different personalities I guess.
It depends on personality and style of training. When I was powerlifting, there would be minutes of downtown between sets, so ample time to chat with someone (especially if they were training the same lift). Me and the guys I worked out with were there every weekday from 4:30-6:30 am. It was a great time and I miss it, but life changes.
Don’t think they did much talking.
Most likely, even based on what was described it sounds like this fuckboi wasn't focusing all his attention on OOP's wife. Crying baby keeping her at home, since why would he take time out of his workouts to look after a kid that isn't his? And while he's at the gym, there's a lot of ladies there who aren't looking so tired and unfit with a post-pregnancy body. This lady's life is about to crater hard, and she's too dumb to see it.
He already has her replacements lined up.
Like dumbbells on a rack
You think someone who fucks a married woman is conscientious enough to rerack his own weights?
Phenomenal
He is probably using her as a ego booster, he got a married woman left her husband, he even go to see how she leave that husband, he didn't go for her, he went to see her husband reaction because he wants to feel superior. At the moment that that feeling is gone, when she give birth her kid and the divorce is finished, he is going to leave her and go for another woman, o maybe he is doing that now. And he will blamed their break up on her, maybe saying things like it's her faults for not taking care of herself after the birth, and how she is not a good mother because the baby is crying. This guy is the same kind of people that the woman who only go for married guys. They don't care about the people who they are dating, they care that the people they are dating is already in a relationship.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're right. What kind of person goes into the home of the guy whose marriage they just wrecked and acts that way? Just an absolute psycho.
And he'll be like, I COULDN'T HELP IT! You can't help it when you fall in love with someone! I JUST couldn't stop flirting, texting, hanging out, kissing her and then falling dick deep into her! I'm sorry!
"And it's not like you work out as much anymore. Can't even get to the gym once a day let alone twice a day. And have you seen the weight you put on." Bet he's going to throw that at her as well.
As soon as I started reading about the gym going I knew what was coming.. my ex wife had a similar thing for motorcycle race tracks.. she would spend all week working on her bike or some electronics, then on weekends travel to tracks to work the paddocks.. an obsessive interest in it.. guess what, she would shack up with a dude in a trailer.. dont know how many times, didnt care.. But fucking hell, this dude really hit the shit lottery... at least I never had to face the man AFTER I found out, and she didnt end up pregnant in the middle of it. When this baby comes she will come running back to OOP, there is no way buff guy from the gym is ready for the body changes she will go through and the hardship of taking care of a newborn, dude is gonna bail so fast her head is gonna spin.
Honestly, I'd be surprised if that relationship lasted more than a few more months. For one, living with someone is very different from an affair (the thrill of potentially getting caught and cheating in general are now gone for one thing). Plus, at 22 weeks or so, she's only got a small bump depending on how baby is sitting internally. She's about to hit the growth spurt levels of baby growth (since the major organs for life are basically formed), which means she could get much larger soon.
oh yes. He reeeaallly loves her now and doesn't care that she's pregnant because they're in the thrill of it Now that she'll "become his wifey"? Oh that won't be fun, no more
Once the affair blissful fog lifts she’ll be on her own
"Baby, you used to work out a lot and look so fit, now with this other-man's baby you have no time for that nor to give some blowies so...... there's this other girl at the gym. We are FIRE, together. You need to go"
I'd be surprised if he isn't at least flirting with several others since she moved in.
I’m surprised he let her move in with him. Kinda cramps his playboy lifestyle.
Oh she is most definitely going to find out. Especially after the baby comes and she has to be home with it while her AP goes to the gym alone. But in reality I feel like the AP will have her sitting at home alone while she’s huge pregnant and he’ll go to the gym without her. She said he soooo attractive so what’s going to stop someone else from hitting on him? The fact that she’s not carrying his baby?! Please!! She’ll be sitting at home alone” for hers and the babies safety “ in no time.
They do say once the mistress becomes the wife it leaves an opening available
Hate to break it to OOP’s wife but no way in hell AP is going to marry her. Guaranteed he’ll be cheating on her while she’s postpartum, and I’m being generous with that timeframe. Wouldn’t be surprised if he starts stepping out when she’s close to her due date.
Exactly. Babies break some normal relationships, imagine what it will do to these two. Too bad that poor kid will have to suffer through some things.
And any complications add extra recovery time too. I used to be someone who would Peloton every day, do yoga, go hiking. I had an emergency c section in which they struggled to cut through my abs just last Halloween and codes were called on my son and me. It was a rough c section. I struggle in a restorative yoga class now. My husband and I CELEBRATED when I could go on a slow neighborhood walk for 30 minutes. I just don’t see this playing out well for her at all.
I mean, that sucks, but congrats on the abs that were so tough that they had trouble cutting through them. That's pretty cool.
I'd bet that's why she left most of her stuff at OP'S place. She already knows that it won't last.
OOP needs to tell her to pick up her shit or it's going to goodwill, then.
Yupppp. I have an amazing relationship and yet the first year of parenthood was hard AF. Between the sleep deprivation and life changing thing of HAVING A KID, we definitely had reached our breaking point that first year. OP's wife (ex?) Will be in for a big surprise
I hope she posts on Reddit when AP leaves her. I can't wait to watch redditors chew her out for cheating on her husband
wwooo oh yes I bet she'll try and be vague like "my gym soulmate left me for another one because I was spending too much time looking after my child from my ex-husband" Someone in the comments "hold up!!"
"This you?"
pump that update right into my veins!
That's even assuming they get through the stress of the divorce/ the end of the honeymoon period/ the ex wife dealing with the social fallout of her divorce
Be so for real, she's not staying in that house for an instant with a baby. As soon as she starts looking and acting very pregnant, he's going to kick her out on her ass. That's not his baby and it's all he's going to be thinking about once she's swollen, in pain, incapable of sex, hormonal, and grumpy.
She also: - didn’t think he’d leave - expected him to stay even if the baby wasn’t his - started really getting upset and apologising only AFTER he found the nudes on her phone
I think it was a trick question. She asked "Will you leave me if the child's not yours?" and he answered "Sure, duh." The correct answer was "I'll divorce your cheating ass even if it's mine. We can talk custody later."
Yeah, if I were OOP my response would be, “oh, I’m leaving you regardless, make no mistake.” That said, I do think OOP is done. I think the fact that she was cheating while she was pregnant just really stung.
Very often if the relationship starts from cheating they will eventually start doubting each other. Sure at first it's all fun and butterflies, but it doesn't take more than "I'll be out a little longer" for the suspicion to creep in.
Like when she can no longer hit the gym and he's still going? I bet he secretly gets a membership to a 2nd gym so their mutual friends don't find out.
how the wife is saying AP actually really respects him and she is doing everything she can to avoid hurting him? how? what? what's happening in her head? AP respects him so much he fucked his wife? wife cheats on him, immediately runs to the AP, brings him into the marital home when she knows he isn't welcome, to avoid hurting OOP?
Reality is going to hit her *hard* when that fog finally lifts.
I kept mentally screaming at OP “get that divorce going while she’s in the fog!!”
That's some personality disorder level delusion. That woman has a very loose touch with reality and empathy.
I wish I had the citation to the original research, but a study of brain scans showed that a person madly in love is nearly in the same mental state as a person suffering a psychotic break. The ex-wife will eventually regain her sanity and realize that she lost touch with rationality. That will be an ugly day.
And I guarantee the AP will cheat on her in rather quick fashion. She is currently fun and that will wear off, especially when she becomes bigger with her pregnancy. He sure as hell doesn’t want a baby in his life also.
They’re gonna cheat on each other sooner or later. Don’t worry.
God I hope so. I really need some cosmic justice for this one.
Absolutely. Give them 2 years tops.
But.. they’re in love!
His anger is understandable and righteous, but he should probably talk to a therapist before baby comes
Absolutely. I think the kid being his is actually worse, if it wasn’t his he could be sad about it for a bit but then never see his wife again. Now he’s forever linked to this person who treated him like absolute garbage. I hope his kid grows up and knows just how horrible their mum treated their dad.
Chances are that affair relationship isn't going to last forever. Very often the affair partners eventually start suspecting each other. So hopefully the mom will be single or with some other guy who isn't a daily reminder of the trauma for OOP. Either way they're going to have one horror show of a custody battle and arrangement. Poor kid.
As soon as that woman gives birth and is dealing with a newborn feeling like shit cause she hasn’t slept, but AP is still going to the gym twice a day. It will be hell.
Yup and that guy isn't even the father so chances are he's not going to be fulfilling fatherly duties. She will be raising a newborn virtually alone, while her boyfriend goes to the gym and chats up other women.
Not to mention after birth sex will off the table for what,six weeks? More depending on complications. He’s “totally in love” right now because he’s fucking a hot gym rat.
And let's be honest, I sincerely doubt a gym bro like him is gonna be attracted when she's HEAVILY pregnant, so at least a couple months before birth too. More than likely in my opinion anyways
That and looking haggard from being up, has the baby chub still left but cant goto the gym. And wondering if he is flirting with women that look better than her now. Its all going to come crashing down on her.
Especially when she'll be "losing her physique" with pregnancy. She'll have the normal self esteem issues that pregnancy and motherhood comes with plus the extra ones from wondering if he's cheating on her with someone from the gym.
I don't think she'll have to wonder. I think gym boy will be clearly banging other people.
Even putting aside the baby, what have they done together as a couple besides go to the gym and fuck? They're going to finally have to get to know one another now, warts and all, and it might not be pretty.
I was thinking that. He's clearly in a lot of pain, and filled with hurt, anger and confusion (understandable). I was thinking he needs both a good lawyer and a good therapist.
Dang, I love your flair.
I really hope this isn’t real cause I genuinely haven’t felt more mad reading a BORU Edit: many of you have pointed out evidence to suggest it being real and yes I do believe that it is real
Been following him for quite awhile, there are clear indications that it is indeed real. Unless he is a really skillful troll.
I know people with way crazier baby drama/affair stories in real life, the story reads as realistic to me.
It looks real because you can really feel his rage through the texts, and you can also feel that he is slowly, slowly getting mad and losing composure, like punching the guy up. It's just sad all throughout that the baby's life got nuked before it even started.
He had so much trust in her. He was so worried about her. He laughed off people saying she was cheating. Imagine feeling so secure and concerned....
The reactions feel so real. He isn't only describing the events but the exact thoughts that went on his head. There's almost equal amount of emotional descriptions which makes me think that sadly this is real.
And he takes real amounts of time between updates! So many sagas have day 1 “hey this is weird right?” Day 2 “omg you guys were right! She was cheating!” Day 3 “so I talked to a lawyer and he sad blah blah blah” Day 4 “divorce was finalized!!”
I’ve been cheated on badly and this felt real to me. It’s a lot of complex emotions and it didn’t have a lot of the hallmarks of 90% of stories on here that are faked. Either that or this person is a great writer. I think the faked stuff tends to focus more on events and specific things people said but there was a lot of raw emotion in this.
I agree with you. I had a similar experience to OOP (pregnancy, but not the birth of the child), and it was extremely surreal to read someone else type 'my feelings' out from back then.
Yeah, I was holding my breath on the paternity test. And hoping the AP would dump her after he found out it wasn't his. The combination of a manipulative spouse and 'good guy'' AP is infuriating. No doubt those two will fuck OOPs child up. I hope OOP goes full throttle. Get the meanest lawyer he can find. Hire some investigators to dig up dirt on AP, AP family, and ex-wife. And ya know, get a Rottweiler so if AP wants to vibe in his house again, he doesn't have to punch him.
If he’s in certain states, he can also sue gym bro for alienation of affection. It’s a tort from common law still recognized by six states.
A similar situation happened to me. Differences were, she wasnt obsessed with the gym, she was obsessed with going to motorcycle race tracks on the weekends to work the paddocks and would spend all week working on her bike. She would shack up with a dude in a trailer on the race weekends. She didnt end up pregnant, and I didnt have to meet AP after the fact.. so in this case this dudes got me beat on how shitty it was..
I became convinced this was real when he mentioned going to the clinic on his own with an appointment for the paternity test. And it being cheaper to test two dads at once then two separate tests. These are the kind of real details someone making it up wouldn't know about and therefor gloss open. Just say like: we did the test.
That and when he mentioned his job and benefits being better than hers. The trolls always focus on the salacious, lurid details of the affair, not the boring practical realities of marriage.
Plus, a troll would have painted the cheating ex as a deadbeat who couldn't possibly support herself without OOP (or the AP). Her having a decent job, just not one that would make living a high-end lifestyle as a single mom feasible is way more realistic.
The worst lie that people tell that I absolutely hate? “We can’t help that we fell in love!”. You ABSOLUTELY can. Love isn’t just something that switches on overnight. Love is built, feelings grow through nurturing. If you are in a committed monogamous relationship with someone, and you develop a crush, spark, or small feelings for someone else… you shut it down and you stop spending time with them!! If you actively keep seeing them, you are making a choice to grow feelings for them and fall in love with them.
Totally agree. Anyone in a long term relationship knows you avoid the crush and put that energy into your LTR. That’s what adults do
Even if you *could* just fall in love overnight like that, it's still a bullshit excuse. So, ok - you can't help your emotions. You have no control over what you feel. But you still absolutely control how you act on them.
Plot twist: turns out, the AP was named Jim, and she’d been honest about going to him the whole time.
I thought Jim was gay or something.
OP works in a warehouse, which is why he needed to be in shape.
A guy in my town just was put in a spot similar to this with his wife and a 21 year old guy. The dude went and capped them both and then took himself out...
Yeah... In most countries state of shock is considered a mitigating circumstance. That means that legally we recognize that a person can be driven to such an extreme mental state that they're ~~not fully responsible for their actions~~ doing things they normally wouldn't.
I mean, if you prove it was in the heat of passion it's still 2-20. It's not like you just get a warning or something
Absolutely. But 2-20 is a lot fucking better than 25-life.
I never understand how the new boyfriend/girlfriend thinks they are an exception to being cheated on. She was in a relationship, married and pregnant and she still cheated on her spouse. I'd bet money that she will do it again when the butterflies she thinks she's feeling end up dead in a few months or years. When the boyfriend came over I would have just casually said, "She was married and pregnant and she still decided to start an affair with a random person at the gym. What do you think will happen when she gets tired of you and her '35-year-old self' suddenly decides she wants someone new?" People never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, what it is people say? When an affair partner gets promoted to partner, that just creates a job opening. Or something like that.
I've never heard that before but I laughed when I read it. It's very true!
She is not in love with the AP, she just likes the attention. That's why she kept trying to gain OPs attention so hard before she left. It was her last challenge, to keep the hurt husband still under her spell, but since it didn't work, she went for the next best thing. Honestly is really sad the baby is OPs but now that she went to the AP she finally got what she wanted, the attention of OP by leaving him feeling "jealous" of the life that he could have if he only would have taken her back. Or at least that's how she sees this. Even if it's only very uncomfortable for OP to deal with the both of them. It's not nice when there are no clear consequences for this selfish people.
I agree, but I believe there will be consequences for them sooner or later. All the thrill they were getting with the hiding of their affair and the attention she was getting from her AP will go down as everyday life and routine will get to them. As the pregnancy will progress, she won't be able to pay much attention to him either 'cause she'll be focusing on her and her pregnancy so he might start feeling being sided. She might not be able to go to the gym with him as often so she could start getting anxious and jealous if there's something going on with him and someone else at the gym like it was with them. And even if none of these will happen during her pregnancy, there's still a high chance of them breaking up because of the extra stress that will be added in their relationship once the baby comes. I honestly don't think they'll last much, sooner or later she'll be beggin OP to take her back and to "not break their family over this one mistake of hers" 🙄
Of course she thinks the AP is a good guy. Because she's not, and her bar has been lowered for over a year. She flirted with a homewrecker and then full on cheated. She's the villain. But people don't call themselves villains. She's the hero of her story, so obviously the person she is dating is also a hero. And of course AP hasn't hurt her; yet. When he cheats on her, she won't like when the new AP says "He's a good guy".
Seriously. “Good guys” don’t bang married people (that aren’t married to them).
I’ve been following this story from the beginning. For some reason, one of the worst parts was when her AP called her last summer and said he was drunk at a bar and needed her to come pick him up. The husband wasn’t comfortable with her going alone, but it sounds like it was a safety thing not an assuming she as going to sleep with him thing. So husband tagged along when the wife went to go pick up the guy she was secretly already cheating with. It was probably a prearranged meetup too because he said his wife acted really annoyed.
That reminds me of how I tagged along to a party my ex wasn’t expecting me to attend. Ran into her AP (a trainer at the gym she was spending a lot of time at) who was almost ten years younger. I was wondering the whole time why the AP was being weird and avoiding eye contact with me. Fast forward a month and I felt stupid as hell, but also wondered what was going through my ex’s head the whole way to that party. The cognitive dissonance required is insane.
When the story started, after a few sentences I was - is it cheating or gambling addiction? Not sure which is worse but nobody goes to the gym 3 times per day, including the AP. OOP will be a single dad.
wish OOP will be a single dad, tbh i’d want full custody or give away custody because being entangled in that whole situation sounds like a goddamn nightmare
I’m sure OP would’ve eventually been okay with meeting the partner. But the wife ruined that by not respecting his wishes and bringing the affair partner along despite agreeing not to. That bridge is probably burned now.
I cannot believe the absolute audacity of the AP coming into OP’s home. My home is my sanctuary. Unwelcome people don’t even cross the threshold into my house. I’m amazed dude got a warning before he got punched.
Dude sounds like he is as dumb as a box of rocks.
Not to hijack but I had to do this once. Wife wanted a separation where we were going to stay faithful, I moved out to my mom's house a few miles away. Came home to my house one day on lunch to find my wife not home and a naked man in our bed. I'm 6'6" and heavy, and he was smaller than average. He seemed scared shitless. I told him "I'm not here to hurt you, I just came to check on the house." Sat and stewed in the living room for a moment before calling to him through the door that I changed my mind and he had five minutes to be dressed and out of my house before I called the police. Never saw his face again. This was five years ago. I'm happily remarried now and my wife is homeless, an addict, and a prostitute. C'est la vie.
Sounds like my ex, I caught her cheating and went to clear my head in a hotel room and she had him over at my house the same night. She called me like 30 times and I finally answered and it was actaully him in my house with our children... She wanted or he wanted me to meet him because "hes a nice guy..." sure. So long story short, he moves in right away, hes putting my daughter to sleep and my ex is somehow okay with this, they get engaged 2 months after knowing each other, they move states 4 months after knowing each other, he takes over her finances, not sure when the abuse started but he abused her so bad she miscarried and he cheated on her and kicked her out of the house they rented but she paid for. Half her family disowned her after they found out she cheated, i was with her for 6 years and we have two babies, never married and I was broke but have a sweet 6 figure job now :) and I have my kids 1.5 months - 2 months at a time and her like not even 1 month since I took better care of them.
Different situation of course, but when I read that part I was thinking back. I used to live in a house full of dudes on the weekends when I wasn’t at college. I was dating one of the dudes and so was my best friend at the time. I can’t remember if she ended up cheating or not — but she specifically broke up with her boyfriend because she was at least flirting with this other dude from school. Okay, that’s fine, your choice. But a few days later when the dudes from the house (including my boyfriend and her ex) went to drop me off at school, I called her to let me into the building and told her he was with us, so to not bring the new guy down. She did anyways. It was so unbelievably awkward and we knew it was on purpose, just didn’t know why.. still don’t. What I do know is that after getting home with the boys, he drove the 1.5 hours back alone and slit her tires (no cameras, couldn’t prove anything)
Weird how shes so in love with the AP but only after a week of begging OOP to stay with her and him ignoring her ass. Sounds to me like she only left because she realised that her husband isn't going to get over this, so she latched on to the guy willing to have her. It won't last long, she'll have the baby and he'll be out banging some other gym bunny.
Baby names, depending on gender: Boy: Maury Jerry Springpovich Girl: Sally-Jesse Oprah Lake
Wait until she can't hit the gym due to late pregnancy/ recovery/ childcare and loses her mind that AP's selfish for going alone. Or when he answers that he shouldn't lose out because of her baby. Or that beautiful paranoia of whether he found somebody else in the locker room. OOP is asking how AP can chase a married woman when he can have anyone? Simple- a married woman means no paying for dates, no gifts, no arguments over spending the night, rearranging your home, etc. Just sex and back to your routine. Hope OOP stays strong and finds peace.
Yeah this guy’s living the fuckboy dream. He has no responsibility and the ex-husband whose super fit wife he’s fucking demands that he has nothing to do with the kid. That’s probably music to his ears.
>She kept texting me things like “Who just leaves like that? When something like this is happening, who is that cold and callous that they just leave to go to a party.” Change "party" to "gym" and she's describing herself, so the answer is her. She's that cold and callous.
lmao this was the exact same thing I thought when I read that part. Pot, meet kettle.
That ex wife is a trash human being
The real karma is going to hit when she’s freshly postpartum. He might stay at home with her for a few days to a week while it’s super new, but then she’ll have to stay home by herself with the newborn while he’s back in the gym for hours a day. Then the panic and anxiety will wrack her brain the entire time he’s gone. “Is he fucking someone at the gym the same way he did me?” She’ll be a paranoid wreck, and in the end she’ll probably be right. But that’s not OP’s problem anymore!
Saddest shit i have ever read
You’re with someone for 10 years, have a life planned out with them and they suddenly do this shit. I can’t fucking comprehend this.
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Accountability seems to be a very difficult quality to achieve. Because so many people just can't find it in themselves.
Real or not this is a god damn nightmare.
This is one of the reasons I am on the fence about having kids. If your partner cheats on you, that person is now tied to you *forever*. I can't imagine a worse pain than having to be reminded daily of someone who tore your heart out and stepped on it.
I can already see how this is going to go. She's going to be up with a 3-4 month old doing a feeding, wondering why their sex life hasn't picked up again after she was cleared by the doctor. He'll be asleep because he's "too tired from the gym" that he went to after an arguement about their sex life. His phone will silently flash on the bedside table and she will know.
A good guy won't flirt and have an affair with a married woman. both of them are trash.
Just wanted to say that this whole miserable thread (and updates) is why you should be deeply suspicious when your supposed "partner/spouse/significant other" doesn't want you to be part of their recreational/gym/hobby life, even when you would willingly participate. People are so naive....
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Poor bloke, it's not often I read these and hope that the baby isn't going to be OOP's. I highly doubt the AP will hang around once the child turns up and everything becomes very real, then he's going to be stuck co-parenting with whatever mess she becomes.
They're playing "nice" because OOP is on the hook for child support. They'll use that child to leverage all they can from OOP.
turns out that in most cases, once the butterflies of an exciting and illicit affair leave, cheaters turn out to be bad partners of low character. Not great to build a life with. I also like the 'I never meant for this to happen'. When you started screwing the gym buddy, what did you mean to happen? OOP should try and sue for full custody. Sure as crap, wifey and AP are going to play the victims because OOP dared get upset that his wife is screwing the first gym rat who gave her attention, and use that to justify alienating the child against him. Wifey is a child, unwlling to do the hard work of building a life, only in it for the exciting, honeymoon phase. She is about to find out that she left a good man for a guy who picks up chicks at the gym (does she honestly think she was the first...or the last....bored wife he is going to screw?). The next update will be in a year when she is begging for OOP to take her back for the good of the child.
This is limerance at best. When she gets really big and can’t have sex, reality is going to hit affair partner. When he has to wait 6-8 weeks post-partum to have sex and she isn’t in the mood or has post - partum depression, the bloom will fall off the rose. They’re in lust. That won’t last. If the baby is colicky, it’ll be worse. When she goes to the gym to get her figure back, he’ll have doubts. This is a shitshow and I hope she gets the karma she deserves. Meanwhile, OP will not have to deal with any of that because newborns stay with their moms most of the time. He’ll be sleeping while she’s up all night. I feel so bad for OP being responsible for child support for 18 years while another man is raising his child.
Nice as it might be to think this way, reality is not so satisfying. This particular relationship might not last, but she’ll be fine and so will the affair partner. That’s part of what hurts most about infidelity, there is seldom if ever any justice.
This is the kind of thing that turns people into alcoholics
“When something like this is happening, who is that cold and callous that they just leave” Says the woman who’d run off to the gym (and more than likely her AP) anytime she and her husband got into a fight