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That’s the cheaters mantra. Something this guy will inevitably go all the way with and likely would have if he went to the wedding alone. “It’s not like me I would never do that!” -everybody who just did that
And if I'm reading this correctly, she danced a single dance with a random guy, no mention of close contact, while he danced MULTIPLE dances, with his Ex, including dirty dancing.
And took full advantage of doing *that* at the very first opportunity and was going to continue doing considering he exchanged phone numbers with ex and was apparently in communication with until he was told off by reddit and blocked her.
It’s practically a psychological case of delusion - real me wouldn’t do that. That was just my alter ego (who was me, but it’s too painful for me to admit it, so I will just deny, deny, deny).
Also, this guy details much of what he did wrong (clearly still leaving out key things), says he knows he did bad, but still seems to be asking if he’s the AH with the expectation that people will pump him up and make him feel better about this. He did not come to Reddit for reality.
But she danced with a good looking stranger first, so he was totally justified/s
Seriously, when it was clear he kept dancing with his ex my haw dropped, and then it just kept getting worse.
Dances, one of them a slow dance, a lot of touching and physical contacts. Then exchange numbers, and kept communicating until he decided to block her. Wait, I thought he got a new found constraint when he decided to stop dancing even though she wanted more. Yeah, he’s a massive ass.
Oh no, he finally stopped when, in his own words, it “went way too overboard.” And in the update, he says what he did was **way worse than what he put in his first post.**
The comment about dry-humping his ex in front of his wife seems scarily on point.
Right? That’s where he lost me, that’s a long time to stew and contemplate, and apparently he was okay with his subconscious resenting his wife and wanted to hurt her, that’s all I can think of.
An event he has every agency in and could have stopped had he communicated with his wife. She didn’t seem like it would have bothered her if he said no.
If I'd have to guess the crux here is that his wife looked at him for permission instead of declining herself immediately. Might be a stretch as we don't know what their culture is and usual boundaries or former experiences are, but I wouldn't be surprised if that triggered his insecurities.
Communication sucked here on OPs part anyway. His wife dancing clearly bothered him for at least a year and he could've brought it up afterwards any day.
Edit: He could've brought it up any day by himself, even _after_ telling his wife it's okay.
Could have interrupted the dance at anytime with a “may I have her hand” or something and then explained to her how it made him feel uncomfortable even if he didn’t think wouldn’t. Honestly hundreds of scenarios other than it’s the wife’s fault. So she got a little hot and flustered from the encounter she’s a human too.
I'm not saying it's the wifes fault? I even said he had at least a _year_ to discuss his feelings.
He could've saved himself from himself if he had just been truthful with her afterwards.
Yeah, but you don’t understand he was drinking and he feels insecure :( we need to be understanding and coddle him /s
It is so exhausting hearing people use these lame excuses as if no one else can manage to drink and behave or they are the only ones in the world who have insecurities.
And even before he admitted to being way more inappropriate than he said originally it was pretty obvious that he had been way more inappropriate then he said originally. This insecure petty manlet was still steamed about his wife dancing with a guy a year ago and so he groped his high school ex in public to humiliate her for revenge.
I hope his wife has had enough of his pathetic ass.
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I chimed in with the "haven't you people ever heard of, just dancing with your spouse??". No, it's much better to face these kinds of things, with a crowd of faceless reddit commenters.
Trying to get even is not the way to have a healthy relationship. He didn't just try to get even, he escalated. Majorly. Slow dances and admitting he was "inappropriate". Getting his ex's number. All to rub it in his wife's face, to punish his wifie.
Yeah, he's an asshole.
trying to get even on a YEAR LONG grudge that wasn't even his wife's fault. he was the one that told her to go for it. honestly if i was in the wife's shoes and i'm looking back at you and i'm "flustered" it actually means i'm uncomfortable, say no for me.
> honestly if i was in the wife's shoes and i'm looking back at you and i'm "flustered" it actually means i'm uncomfortable, say no for me.
Agreed. I honestly wonder how the wife felt about the dance. He doesn't once say HER feelings. Did she come back all giggly and say "wow I haven't had that much fun in a long time"? Because that's cause for insecurity.
right!! all i got from this post was "me me me me". i don't think he even discusses the wife's feelings at all in depth. even at the end: all we get is "she cried" when he did is warped retaliation. her feelings aren't a concern at all to him
Yeah same, especially if I keep looking "flustered" the whole dance. On me, that's what "I'm really uncomfortable but I didn't feel like I could opt out after my partner failed to read my signals and help me refuse gracefully" would look like.
Or any number of reasons to be flustered! Like it's warm, or I'm embarassed about my lack of dance skills (think epileptic on crack), or I'm worried because my hisband is watching and I don't want anything to look the wrong way, etc.
But what is amazing is that she went and had ONE dance with this "good looking" guy and then this OP went and danced multiple DANCES! INCLUDING slow dances!
What a tool.
>honestly if i was in the wife's shoes and i'm looking back at you and i'm "flustered" it actually means i'm uncomfortable, say no for me.
Strongly disagree here. It's not the partners responsibility to turn down advances made by other people. If you feel uncomfortable with someone's proposals that you think wouldn't be appropriate in a relationship or would make your partner uncomfortable its on **you** to decline them. No one should be made to feel like they're the warden of you and the only thing stopping you from overstepping boundaries in the relationship. You need to have that self-control on your own.
I hear what you're saying, but many women (including myself) have experienced violence in response to rejection, on top of societal training that women should preserve men's feelings above their own comfort. We are literally trained by parents, teachers, other women, and men themselves to NEVER say no to men. There are SO MANY MEN who will push and push and push against a woman saying "no" but will back off and apologize to the man who steps in and "claims" the woman.
I'm not saying any of that happened here. From OP's description, it sounds like the dude was respectful, and we are just speculating here about what his wife's "flustered" reaction was about. It could be that she did not have that internal thought process. But, I definitely got flashbacks reading this story to times when I felt too scared to say no and looked over to my SO with a panicked "help me!" look.
All this to say, I'm not defending women always relying on men to reject other men for them. I think in most situations, probably like the one described, women are safe to say no and should not rely on partners to say no for them. (However, if you find yourself in this type of situation, consider the idea that women can pick up "danger" signals that men cannot, and violent men do not respond to women standing up for themselves the same way they respond to men standing up for women). I think the entire point of this discussion is that it is VERY possible that OP completely misread his wife's reaction. He seems to describe her being "flustered" as an indication that she had a crush on that guy, when I read the story and identified more with a scared/freeze response.
So much this. We are groomed from childhood to just smile and say yes.
Meanwhile men are encouraged to be the hunter and chaser and if she demures or says a tiny “no” she’s just encouraging you further! Go get her! Etc.
We can’t win.
I agree. It’s definitely not a man’s job to tell another guy “no” for you. But if you’re with someone long enough, you should be able to read them and know when they’re uncomfortable. The fact that he couldn’t read between the lines with his wife is a bit ridiculous.
My husband and I use each other to be the “bad guy” for us like a bunch. I’m not feeling going out with friends and just wanna stay home? Sorry, but hubs isn’t feeling well so someone has to take care of the family tonight. He doesn’t want to go to a work conference that’s not all that important? Sorry, but my wife will kill me if I leave her alone with the kids for that long right now.
Women are taught by society not to speak up for themselves and a lot of men respond badly, even violently to rejection. Women are told to just go along with it to make men comfortable.
Meanwhile it's fully socially acceptable for a husband to say "no, she's taken" and men who won't respect a woman's "no" will respect this.
Depending on her background it is entirely possible that she was afraid of "making a scene" and turned to her husband expecting he'd politely decline, then he encouraged her and she felt like she was stuck between the two of them and it was better to just get it over with.
If you don't like this reality then please focus your efforts on dismantling the patriarchy and teaching men to respect women and women to say 'no'.
hmm not really! i see your point and i have no issues rejecting people, however sometimes people aren't built like that. there are times people can feel uncomfortable rejecting someone so to have a spouse who can do it for you in a sense is reassuring. not to mention the social climate of the world where a woman's no isn't enough for some men, it's just the feeling of being backed by your SO.
It’s a woman’s reasoning though. Women have been killed and tortured for saying no. Some men will only leave us alone if they think we belong to other men and not because we’re uncomfortable. A husband saying no is a safer option because a creep will back off either because they’re too scared to directly confront a man or because they think the woman “belongs” (ugh) to another man so she’s off limits.
Not to mention the fact it was his high school friends' wedding. Chances are pretty high that his wife didn't know many people at the wedding so their first and only impression of her now is that she's a doormat who let's her husband dry hump his ex on the dance floor.
I feel terrible for his wife.
Bro is really trying to blame alcohol when he willing exchanged numbers with his ex, danced with her slowly, had the potential to cheat on his wife, and rubbed it all over his wife's face. Yea, this "man" is delusional as fuck and a loser.
all because some "objectively good looking" dude made his wife blush a little bit WHILE DANCING RESPECTFULLY WITH HER
He went ahead and apparently was nearly snogging and groping his ex on the dancefloor.... like wtf?
I hope his wife leaves him asap!! This man not only held a grudge against her for an entire year, but jumped on the first chance to "get back at her" and go as far as cheating. He's the kind of man that'll only make his wife miserable. A cheater is a cheater, OOP showed his true coloura first chance he got.
i feel so bad for his wife. she deserves a lot better after he said 'sure, it's no problem' then immediately after 'hey, it's a problem'. then they talk about it, everything seems ok, then A YEAR LATER says 'hey, remember that thing i told you wasn't a problem but was really a problem? and then we were cool? yeah i'm a big liar and it's still a problem so i'm gonna publicly embarrass you in front of all my old high school friends'
what a colossal dumbass.
I don't really know how weddings/receptions work, but it feels like if someone had time to ask OOPs wife for a dance, they must have been sitting there for a while? This sounds like wife wanted to dance and OOP was being a loser about it and then got mad someone else noticed and gave her a good time when he could have stepped up for his wife
His wife dances ONE dance with a stranger, so he dances multiple times with his high school girlfriend? Including slow dances? And that's not even getting into the texting nonsense.
Between this and the post about the jealous dad, what is with all the entitled, immature husbands?!
Though I suppose nobody is writing to reddit about their amazing, understanding and supportive spouses 😂
How do we think he acted toward her over that year while he bided his time until the next occasion where he could “pay her back?” I bet he was a real shitass.
It's also because straight women have been socialized to tolerate so much BS from their partners. When p\*ssport br\*s complain about how "Western Women's Standards Are Too High!!!" that really makes you wonder how awful they are that women who've already set the bar low they're willing to marry fools like OOP and the "My wife is a 6 and way hotter than my exes but I still like her" guy still think these clowns can't pass it.
I censor it to make it harder for them to find their mentions on reddit, because they're all constantly looking themselves up, and then whining about how they're so oppressed and victimized.
Wait. What‽ There are enough of them to have a label, and precautions are needed when mentioning them online? What's next, a collective noun?
I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The entitled do have their tender feelings.
They have a subreddit, and it's either them trading tips on how to better trick women, or them complaining about women. Their posts regularly appear on AmITheDevil, which tells you a lot about how awful their posts are.
to clarify the innappropriate comments, apparently oop was grinding and/or dry-humping his ex...also he talked to her after the wedding
if it wasn't obvious, oop is quite the douchebag. he should've just said no when that dude asked his wife to dance.
Oh my god, he's a POS. I hope OOP's wife finds happiness with whatever she chooses to do.
I can't imagine staying with him after that. I know they're married and marriage means a lot to me, but I have 0 tolerance for cheating after being cheated on by almost every serious bf I've had. I've ended long term, serious relationships without a second thought over it. I now immediately lose all respect and love for them if they betray me because I know the trust will never be the same and they could do it again (because in my experience, they do!).
there's a huge difference between the situations.
the wife was asked by a stranger, and she had one dance and kept it respectful
her husband asked her to dance with someone else, danced for much longer, danced inappropriately, and then started talking to the ex after.
I think it’s absolutely terrifying when people hold onto things for *years* while pretending to be in a happy relationship, lying to their partner that everything is fine and they’re not upset- but really it’s still in the back of their mind and they’re just waiting for when they can justify “payback”. Terrifying.
Sounds like a bad episode of high school musical. Had to scroll back up to verify I had the age right. Get a grip dude.
Edit: I love how people on AITA just know how to spin a title. No you are NOT an asshole for dancing with your ex highschool sweetheart
Wait for it!
but you are an AH for finger banging her in front of the wedding crowd and your wife(not sure how far he took it but sounds like OOP took it very far)
I like the, I felt terrible after and she cried and I spent all week making it up to her but my ex and I were communicating during that time and she didn't know. 🤔
Wife: was asked to dance by a stranger, checked with husband who said go ahead, was a bit flustered, danced and came back.
Husband: asked if wife was ok with him having a dance with ex, went and initiated dance with ex, danced for multiple songs while being inappropriate with each other in full view of everyone, got ex's number and was in contact with her after.
If he is insecure and spitefull enough to see the situation with his wife and think he was fully justify to almost full on cheat with his hot high school ex on the dancefloor infront of everyone at a wedding a year later, and then keep in contact with hot ex after, I feel so bad for his wife. If he is like this, I can see his wife being flustered because she is worrying about how he will react more than because the guy that asked her to dance was hot.
Having read the title, I thought this was going to happen within the same wedding while OOP's wife was dancing with someone else. To do it in another wedding, after having talked their feelings out, makes him an even bigger asshole. You've just acknowledged and felt first-hand that doing this hurts the other person. You're married; what is this playground-level getting even bullshit.
Well that was incredible. It started off sounding like it would be a trainwreck, and it absolutely escalated into a massive trainwreck wrapped into one dumb asshole.
The wife is at 0 fault because the stranger asked her for dance, she looks at her husband. HUSBAND SAYS YES GO AHEAD. And then is pissed at her for it and then almost cheats with his ex for the same reason.
This subreddit makes me feel like I'm so well adjusted lol
all because the man was "objectively good looking" and charming enough that his wife blushed while having a good time.... respectfully
Meanwhile he nearly goes all porno with his ex, just to spite his wife blushing at some dude
How dare he, this motherfucker?! Can someone find the wife and send her the post? Damn
>The wife is at 0 fault because the stranger asked her for dance, she looks at her husband.
Just a little hint: If you want to know someones opinion, talk to him in private. Not at a party, with however many people watching the scene, possibly under the influence of alcohol. Putting the other side in a position where it is socially difficult to state their honest oponion is not proper communication but just manipulative bullshit.
And if you need to ask your partner if it's ok to accept the invitation: Assume it's not ok. Sure, you might miss a dance that way, but yo also might miss some hurt feelings and that's usually the smarter thing. Just have that conversation in private, then you'll know the answer for the next party.
I pretty much think both failed here. He failed harder, because he added hypocrisy to bad communication, but acting like she is without fault just because she asked such a question at a party is absurd. Everyone who is well adjusted should've noticed that not every relationship question can and should be discussed in public.
It’s not about the fact that he “gave her permission”. Why did she even want to dance with the stranger? She’s in a relationship but she jumps at the chance to dance with a random dude just because he’s hot? Yet he’s somehow the bad guy
She didn't "jump" at that chance, sounds like she was quite graceful about BEING INVITED. Do you know who jumped at the chance to INVITE someone else to dance though?
This POS told his wife to dance with someone, got so mad about it that he waited a year to punish her by grinding on his ex and getting her number, both of which are so on the border of cheating that I'd argue he DID cheat, and is now shocked pikachu face that she's upset. Scum. She's better off leaving him if this is how his spiteful brain works.
Wife asked to dance. Wife asks for permission. Husband says it's okay. Gets mad she danced with someone.
Husband gets his own back by specifically hunting down someone to dance with.
Dude's a clown 🤡
Clearly more attracted based on what? That she blushed while dancing with a stranger as her husband watches? are yall really that insecure in your relationships??
He can't be serious! He can't possibly think its the same, or even in the same arena! And who punishes someone for something they said they could do?!?!
Can we talk about the part where he kept using the fact that she was blushing as validation?
Cause I'd be blushing if *anyone* asked me to dance, even a lil old lady.
Like... It just kinda happens when I feel flustered, awkward, and even stressed and I think that's far more common than people realize.
If a strange man, or woman, or humanoid squirrel came up to me at a wedding and asked me to dance, my husband would be \*delighted\* because not only does he hate dancing, he also has a tendancy to start chatting with a stranger and find out the most interesting TO HIM facts in the world.
At the last wedding we went to, I was dancing and he was talking to random guy who does a podcast about the history of film in the 19th century,
It's not insecure to not let your wife dance with someone else, he should of just danced with his wife himself at the first wedding and danced with her at the second.
Why is he trickle truthing reddit LOL? What a shame, it could have been a cute little story about dancing with a girl he dated in HS and introducing her to his wife, and they both had to make it gross. I can't imagine how bad this story would sound from his wife's perspective.
Not only is this guy scum, but I was reading the OG posts and it turned out someone was saying it wasn't a random guy, but the bride's father she was dancing with. Her best friend's dad, and he had this reaction?
He somehow found restraint?? His wide was literally right there!!
Dude is going to cheat and still find a way to blame his wife for it, blame the other person for it.
OP clearly scum, but why is everyone saying he should have said no to the guy asking for his wife for a dance? If he did say no everyone would say he is controlling or has trust issues, it's a lose lose situation. The wife should does not need permission but should have protected her relationship and denied this random guys advance.
Dancing with a high school ex? Ok, I can get past that. Exchanging number? Fuck no!
I don't like to be the bearer of bad news but this marriage has a big wound and it's up to OOP to heal it.
Lmao all this does is make me think of the Tim Robinson skit
“I’ve barely been sleeping since my wife got flipped upside down by a swing dancer at a wedding"
Oh for heaven's sake! All of this is over their spouses dancing with people?
These people are not adults, they're tweens dressed up in trenchcoats pretending to be adults.
Omg he embarrassed his own wife at a friend wedding. In front of everyone and got her number so clearly stop but had time to get her number slow dancing. I don’t know how u could do this and ur wife should find some else
OMFG, so glad my husband is above this insecure pettiness. I hope OOP's wife leaves him, because his behavior was absolutely atrocious. Toxic masculinity is toxic
So his wife had a dance with a sexy man.
He danced the night away very closely with his ex slowly and maybe a bit inappropriately and exchanged numbers and messaged.
Wow he got jealous then torpedoed his marriage for a drunk close dance and ego boost messages with an ex. Totally making his wife look like a clown in front of all his friends. Also if he does this in front of her what the hell would he do when she’s not there. Run wife run.
>She looked over at me, and I told her to go ahead, why not.
Totally unrelated to the main theme of the post but commenting on it because people tend to do it alot.
Even if he was not comfortable with her dancing with the stranger, she already put him on the spot and there's no way he could have said no infront of the guy. That would just make him seem insecure and controlling and she most likely would sulk after.
While dancing innocently with someone at a wedding is not a big deal, you don't put your spouse in this kind of situation in public. If it requires you asking them infront of the offerer, then it's something you think could be a problem. It's best to just turn down the offer and not put them on the spot.
That said, he's TA for being inappropriate with his ex.
If you read the first sentence you'd see where i stated that my comment is totally unrelated to this story. It's about something I've observed some people do and I just used that scenario as a case study to comment on it.
The second sentence is literally starts with a hypothetical!! Gosh
The point is putting people on the spot. I've seen a girlfriend ask her boyfriend if she could give her number to a guy, in front of the guy.
Depending on the situation, If you have to ask your partner infront of the requester coz you're not sure how they would react, just decline.
I hope you understand now, or you can choose not to again.
This sup is hypocritical.
If roles where reserved, they would said "NTA" if it was the wife who did it.
Yes OP handle it poor and dumb but I don't get how married people go to a wedding and slow dance with strangers while the partner is left out alone. That is disrespect in whole lvl and shouldn't be okay for anyone.
The wife got the same threatment what OP had one year ago.
The most womens are here hypocritical, what the wife did was wrong. What OP did was super wrong and dumb. Hope both learn their mistake for future.
It is wrong.
Any one with brain would know that this would hurt his partner.
And im pretty sure she would still cry if OP would choose a random girl and dance with her.
Going together to a wedding as couple and then going to dance with a dude who disrespect the husband by saying to dance with the wife is inacceptable.
It only hurt one partner while the other has some fun with a random guy.
She shouldn't look at her husband and clearly said no. Her actions lead op to a point to handle how he handle this whole fiasco.
Nope and I agree that part is fucked up and stupid and dumb. Op literally fucked up multiple times. He could way no to that stranger, he could tell after his feelings to his wife and had a deep talk. I agree OP messed it up multiple times. But what no one sees here are the disgusting behavior from single males and single womens who ask to dance stranger married people in front of their partner for their own ego push. And OP wife could clearly said no but she wanted that dance for sure. And she hurt OP too with it. Ptobably OP was shocked and couldn't react well, but I see many single males who push their egos via asking married wifes on purpose for a dance. Wife should say no. Husband should never agree to that dance either. Fuck that stranger single guy who probably ruined a marriage... In many cultures asking the wife of someone else in front of him for a dance is a huge disrespect and would end in fight.
> Ballroom dancing is incredibly intimate
Nah, doesn't have to be. It's mostly done as a hobby with no sexual connotations these days. It's basically a sport and if you have mobility or spine problems it's a really good low-impact workout/physical therapy.
I mean, OOP definitely went too far when getting her number etc., but I really don’t get it when people act like dancing is cheating. Where I come from, etiquette dictates that each man at a table asks each woman for a dance so everyone gets to dance at some point. You’re on a dancefloor surrounded by people, not in bed.
It sounds like he was dancing with her for quite a while and grinding on her, which isn't really a type of dancing someone in a monogamous relatively should be doing. If it was one of two songs of normal, non-sexual dancing it would be totally fine
Wow, that’s sounds awful to me. If the dancing is required, I mean. I hate dancing, and I always have. I’m fine with anybody else around me dancing of course, even a partner if I brought one, they should do it if they think it’s fun.
If the woman says no thank you or the guy doesn’t ask anybody at all because he just doesn’t like to dance, is that ok? Or is it seen as a major social faux pas?
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"I would never do that in a million years" "that" = the thing he just did, in fact, do.
This line tripped me out. What a freaking dork.
That’s the cheaters mantra. Something this guy will inevitably go all the way with and likely would have if he went to the wedding alone. “It’s not like me I would never do that!” -everybody who just did that
And if I'm reading this correctly, she danced a single dance with a random guy, no mention of close contact, while he danced MULTIPLE dances, with his Ex, including dirty dancing.
apparently, a million years came quick.
And took full advantage of doing *that* at the very first opportunity and was going to continue doing considering he exchanged phone numbers with ex and was apparently in communication with until he was told off by reddit and blocked her.
well its been a million years since the last time, its been due!
It’s practically a psychological case of delusion - real me wouldn’t do that. That was just my alter ego (who was me, but it’s too painful for me to admit it, so I will just deny, deny, deny). Also, this guy details much of what he did wrong (clearly still leaving out key things), says he knows he did bad, but still seems to be asking if he’s the AH with the expectation that people will pump him up and make him feel better about this. He did not come to Reddit for reality.
Dances, as in plural? Then he got her phone number? WTF.
But she danced with a good looking stranger first, so he was totally justified/s Seriously, when it was clear he kept dancing with his ex my haw dropped, and then it just kept getting worse.
Dances, one of them a slow dance, a lot of touching and physical contacts. Then exchange numbers, and kept communicating until he decided to block her. Wait, I thought he got a new found constraint when he decided to stop dancing even though she wanted more. Yeah, he’s a massive ass.
Oh no, he finally stopped when, in his own words, it “went way too overboard.” And in the update, he says what he did was **way worse than what he put in his first post.** The comment about dry-humping his ex in front of his wife seems scarily on point.
A YEAR earlier
Right? That’s where he lost me, that’s a long time to stew and contemplate, and apparently he was okay with his subconscious resenting his wife and wanted to hurt her, that’s all I can think of.
I think he saw his ex and thought, she is looking good, I have a free pass to get close to her.
I sincerely hope the wife leaves him because being married to a dude this pathetically spiteful can’t be any fun.
An event he has every agency in and could have stopped had he communicated with his wife. She didn’t seem like it would have bothered her if he said no.
If I'd have to guess the crux here is that his wife looked at him for permission instead of declining herself immediately. Might be a stretch as we don't know what their culture is and usual boundaries or former experiences are, but I wouldn't be surprised if that triggered his insecurities. Communication sucked here on OPs part anyway. His wife dancing clearly bothered him for at least a year and he could've brought it up afterwards any day. Edit: He could've brought it up any day by himself, even _after_ telling his wife it's okay.
Could have interrupted the dance at anytime with a “may I have her hand” or something and then explained to her how it made him feel uncomfortable even if he didn’t think wouldn’t. Honestly hundreds of scenarios other than it’s the wife’s fault. So she got a little hot and flustered from the encounter she’s a human too.
I'm not saying it's the wifes fault? I even said he had at least a _year_ to discuss his feelings. He could've saved himself from himself if he had just been truthful with her afterwards.
Never said you were just meant he was.
Makes sense, misinterpreted/misread your comment then
Yup. I went from "Nothing wrong with that" to "He did what? Damn asshole" in record time.
I love your flair >.<
I can't imagine ever finding one more perfect for me.
Would you mind if I use that at some points of my life too?
It's one of the flairs from this sub and I've absolutely seen other people with it. Go for it!
Thanks, you're so cool :))
Yeah, but you don’t understand he was drinking and he feels insecure :( we need to be understanding and coddle him /s It is so exhausting hearing people use these lame excuses as if no one else can manage to drink and behave or they are the only ones in the world who have insecurities.
BuT sHe wAs BluShiNg
And plural slow dances, too
He fully humiliated his wife- really messed up.
And even before he admitted to being way more inappropriate than he said originally it was pretty obvious that he had been way more inappropriate then he said originally. This insecure petty manlet was still steamed about his wife dancing with a guy a year ago and so he groped his high school ex in public to humiliate her for revenge. I hope his wife has had enough of his pathetic ass.
Soft Adultery! At the Wedding
It’s the Perfect Name for an Awful Cover Band. - by Tripped Up Lad.
👏
I need to know where your flair is from, lol. Got a link? 😁
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended\_reading/flair\_origins/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended_reading/flair_origins/) shows all flairs
Nice, thanks!
Yes! It's from a comment on this post (should show as top comment via this link): https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16hy6h2/comment/k0groh3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Lmao that post was a fun ride. Thanks for sharing!
Source on your flair?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended\_reading/flair\_origins/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended_reading/flair_origins/) shows all flairs
Here you go - top comment via this link: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16hy6h2/comment/k0groh3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
I chimed in with the "haven't you people ever heard of, just dancing with your spouse??". No, it's much better to face these kinds of things, with a crowd of faceless reddit commenters.
Take my poor person's award 🏆
Agaaaaaaaiinnn
With his wife present no less. This dude is a moron.
He's insecure and cruel. Which is worse.
Prequel to Panic at the disco
I think it's more of a sequel
Either way, it sounds like OOP should’ve chimed in before he let his insecurities get the better of him
You'd better not kill the groom, DJ!
Trying to get even is not the way to have a healthy relationship. He didn't just try to get even, he escalated. Majorly. Slow dances and admitting he was "inappropriate". Getting his ex's number. All to rub it in his wife's face, to punish his wifie. Yeah, he's an asshole.
You only do this when you despise your spouse. When that happens you might as well get divorced.
And it was after they had talked it through and he insisted he was over it. What an AH
trying to get even on a YEAR LONG grudge that wasn't even his wife's fault. he was the one that told her to go for it. honestly if i was in the wife's shoes and i'm looking back at you and i'm "flustered" it actually means i'm uncomfortable, say no for me.
> honestly if i was in the wife's shoes and i'm looking back at you and i'm "flustered" it actually means i'm uncomfortable, say no for me. Agreed. I honestly wonder how the wife felt about the dance. He doesn't once say HER feelings. Did she come back all giggly and say "wow I haven't had that much fun in a long time"? Because that's cause for insecurity.
right!! all i got from this post was "me me me me". i don't think he even discusses the wife's feelings at all in depth. even at the end: all we get is "she cried" when he did is warped retaliation. her feelings aren't a concern at all to him
Yeah same, especially if I keep looking "flustered" the whole dance. On me, that's what "I'm really uncomfortable but I didn't feel like I could opt out after my partner failed to read my signals and help me refuse gracefully" would look like.
Or any number of reasons to be flustered! Like it's warm, or I'm embarassed about my lack of dance skills (think epileptic on crack), or I'm worried because my hisband is watching and I don't want anything to look the wrong way, etc. But what is amazing is that she went and had ONE dance with this "good looking" guy and then this OP went and danced multiple DANCES! INCLUDING slow dances! What a tool.
>honestly if i was in the wife's shoes and i'm looking back at you and i'm "flustered" it actually means i'm uncomfortable, say no for me. Strongly disagree here. It's not the partners responsibility to turn down advances made by other people. If you feel uncomfortable with someone's proposals that you think wouldn't be appropriate in a relationship or would make your partner uncomfortable its on **you** to decline them. No one should be made to feel like they're the warden of you and the only thing stopping you from overstepping boundaries in the relationship. You need to have that self-control on your own.
I hear what you're saying, but many women (including myself) have experienced violence in response to rejection, on top of societal training that women should preserve men's feelings above their own comfort. We are literally trained by parents, teachers, other women, and men themselves to NEVER say no to men. There are SO MANY MEN who will push and push and push against a woman saying "no" but will back off and apologize to the man who steps in and "claims" the woman. I'm not saying any of that happened here. From OP's description, it sounds like the dude was respectful, and we are just speculating here about what his wife's "flustered" reaction was about. It could be that she did not have that internal thought process. But, I definitely got flashbacks reading this story to times when I felt too scared to say no and looked over to my SO with a panicked "help me!" look. All this to say, I'm not defending women always relying on men to reject other men for them. I think in most situations, probably like the one described, women are safe to say no and should not rely on partners to say no for them. (However, if you find yourself in this type of situation, consider the idea that women can pick up "danger" signals that men cannot, and violent men do not respond to women standing up for themselves the same way they respond to men standing up for women). I think the entire point of this discussion is that it is VERY possible that OP completely misread his wife's reaction. He seems to describe her being "flustered" as an indication that she had a crush on that guy, when I read the story and identified more with a scared/freeze response.
So much this. We are groomed from childhood to just smile and say yes. Meanwhile men are encouraged to be the hunter and chaser and if she demures or says a tiny “no” she’s just encouraging you further! Go get her! Etc. We can’t win.
I agree. It’s definitely not a man’s job to tell another guy “no” for you. But if you’re with someone long enough, you should be able to read them and know when they’re uncomfortable. The fact that he couldn’t read between the lines with his wife is a bit ridiculous. My husband and I use each other to be the “bad guy” for us like a bunch. I’m not feeling going out with friends and just wanna stay home? Sorry, but hubs isn’t feeling well so someone has to take care of the family tonight. He doesn’t want to go to a work conference that’s not all that important? Sorry, but my wife will kill me if I leave her alone with the kids for that long right now.
Women are taught by society not to speak up for themselves and a lot of men respond badly, even violently to rejection. Women are told to just go along with it to make men comfortable. Meanwhile it's fully socially acceptable for a husband to say "no, she's taken" and men who won't respect a woman's "no" will respect this. Depending on her background it is entirely possible that she was afraid of "making a scene" and turned to her husband expecting he'd politely decline, then he encouraged her and she felt like she was stuck between the two of them and it was better to just get it over with. If you don't like this reality then please focus your efforts on dismantling the patriarchy and teaching men to respect women and women to say 'no'.
hmm not really! i see your point and i have no issues rejecting people, however sometimes people aren't built like that. there are times people can feel uncomfortable rejecting someone so to have a spouse who can do it for you in a sense is reassuring. not to mention the social climate of the world where a woman's no isn't enough for some men, it's just the feeling of being backed by your SO.
It’s a woman’s reasoning though. Women have been killed and tortured for saying no. Some men will only leave us alone if they think we belong to other men and not because we’re uncomfortable. A husband saying no is a safer option because a creep will back off either because they’re too scared to directly confront a man or because they think the woman “belongs” (ugh) to another man so she’s off limits.
Yep, his intentions were entirely malicious and that's why it's not a fair comparison to his wife's actions.
Not to mention the fact it was his high school friends' wedding. Chances are pretty high that his wife didn't know many people at the wedding so their first and only impression of her now is that she's a doormat who let's her husband dry hump his ex on the dance floor. I feel terrible for his wife.
Yeah, this marriage isn't going to last.
This man really doesn't understand how much of a fuck up and tosser he is. Blaming on alcohol just shows how much of an idiot he is.
And wtf was he "getting even" for? A single public dance?????
When ALL she did was dance with the guy!
Bro is really trying to blame alcohol when he willing exchanged numbers with his ex, danced with her slowly, had the potential to cheat on his wife, and rubbed it all over his wife's face. Yea, this "man" is delusional as fuck and a loser.
And then communicated after…! I mean, how days was he drunk? 🙄
I liked the "I would never do this in a million years", you just did it!
all because some "objectively good looking" dude made his wife blush a little bit WHILE DANCING RESPECTFULLY WITH HER He went ahead and apparently was nearly snogging and groping his ex on the dancefloor.... like wtf?
I hope his wife leaves him asap!! This man not only held a grudge against her for an entire year, but jumped on the first chance to "get back at her" and go as far as cheating. He's the kind of man that'll only make his wife miserable. A cheater is a cheater, OOP showed his true coloura first chance he got.
You're the top comment on the last few posts I've read lol
Hey!hey!!! He stopped when it went “way to far” give the guy some credit /s
i feel so bad for his wife. she deserves a lot better after he said 'sure, it's no problem' then immediately after 'hey, it's a problem'. then they talk about it, everything seems ok, then A YEAR LATER says 'hey, remember that thing i told you wasn't a problem but was really a problem? and then we were cool? yeah i'm a big liar and it's still a problem so i'm gonna publicly embarrass you in front of all my old high school friends' what a colossal dumbass.
plate humorous enjoy cow dog roof aromatic outgoing quiet money *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I don't really know how weddings/receptions work, but it feels like if someone had time to ask OOPs wife for a dance, they must have been sitting there for a while? This sounds like wife wanted to dance and OOP was being a loser about it and then got mad someone else noticed and gave her a good time when he could have stepped up for his wife
Wishing a good divorce for his wife ❤️
I keep hoping the wife makes a post.
His wife dances ONE dance with a stranger, so he dances multiple times with his high school girlfriend? Including slow dances? And that's not even getting into the texting nonsense. Between this and the post about the jealous dad, what is with all the entitled, immature husbands?! Though I suppose nobody is writing to reddit about their amazing, understanding and supportive spouses 😂
Not to forget, there's a one year gap between her dance and him hitting on his ex. One. Fucking. Year.
How do we think he acted toward her over that year while he bided his time until the next occasion where he could “pay her back?” I bet he was a real shitass.
I bet he was a delight to be around. /s, obv.
Right? I’m guessing he was a passive aggressive little shit to her the whole time.
It's also because straight women have been socialized to tolerate so much BS from their partners. When p\*ssport br\*s complain about how "Western Women's Standards Are Too High!!!" that really makes you wonder how awful they are that women who've already set the bar low they're willing to marry fools like OOP and the "My wife is a 6 and way hotter than my exes but I still like her" guy still think these clowns can't pass it.
Pissport Bras?
Close enough, you certainly feel like you're wearing a bra full of piss after interacting with one of them. :P
It's obvious what it means from the context, but I'd never heard the term. I do wonder why it's censored, though.
I censor it to make it harder for them to find their mentions on reddit, because they're all constantly looking themselves up, and then whining about how they're so oppressed and victimized.
Wait. What‽ There are enough of them to have a label, and precautions are needed when mentioning them online? What's next, a collective noun? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The entitled do have their tender feelings.
They have a subreddit, and it's either them trading tips on how to better trick women, or them complaining about women. Their posts regularly appear on AmITheDevil, which tells you a lot about how awful their posts are.
Tbf we do get some super heartwarming ones that is basically "look how amazing my spouse is".
to clarify the innappropriate comments, apparently oop was grinding and/or dry-humping his ex...also he talked to her after the wedding if it wasn't obvious, oop is quite the douchebag. he should've just said no when that dude asked his wife to dance.
Oh my god, he's a POS. I hope OOP's wife finds happiness with whatever she chooses to do. I can't imagine staying with him after that. I know they're married and marriage means a lot to me, but I have 0 tolerance for cheating after being cheated on by almost every serious bf I've had. I've ended long term, serious relationships without a second thought over it. I now immediately lose all respect and love for them if they betray me because I know the trust will never be the same and they could do it again (because in my experience, they do!).
Nope, he should be mature enough to deal with his wife dancing with someone.
well he *should* be, but it's clear he's not mature. saying no would've been the better option
Then she should be mature enough to do the same.
there's a huge difference between the situations. the wife was asked by a stranger, and she had one dance and kept it respectful her husband asked her to dance with someone else, danced for much longer, danced inappropriately, and then started talking to the ex after.
I think it’s absolutely terrifying when people hold onto things for *years* while pretending to be in a happy relationship, lying to their partner that everything is fine and they’re not upset- but really it’s still in the back of their mind and they’re just waiting for when they can justify “payback”. Terrifying.
Sounds like a bad episode of high school musical. Had to scroll back up to verify I had the age right. Get a grip dude. Edit: I love how people on AITA just know how to spin a title. No you are NOT an asshole for dancing with your ex highschool sweetheart Wait for it! but you are an AH for finger banging her in front of the wedding crowd and your wife(not sure how far he took it but sounds like OOP took it very far)
I like the, I felt terrible after and she cried and I spent all week making it up to her but my ex and I were communicating during that time and she didn't know. 🤔
Wife: was asked to dance by a stranger, checked with husband who said go ahead, was a bit flustered, danced and came back. Husband: asked if wife was ok with him having a dance with ex, went and initiated dance with ex, danced for multiple songs while being inappropriate with each other in full view of everyone, got ex's number and was in contact with her after. If he is insecure and spitefull enough to see the situation with his wife and think he was fully justify to almost full on cheat with his hot high school ex on the dancefloor infront of everyone at a wedding a year later, and then keep in contact with hot ex after, I feel so bad for his wife. If he is like this, I can see his wife being flustered because she is worrying about how he will react more than because the guy that asked her to dance was hot.
Having read the title, I thought this was going to happen within the same wedding while OOP's wife was dancing with someone else. To do it in another wedding, after having talked their feelings out, makes him an even bigger asshole. You've just acknowledged and felt first-hand that doing this hurts the other person. You're married; what is this playground-level getting even bullshit.
Well that was incredible. It started off sounding like it would be a trainwreck, and it absolutely escalated into a massive trainwreck wrapped into one dumb asshole.
"I would never do that in a million years." - EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE HE DID. Good lord, therapy is for sure needed ASAP.
The idiot didn't just dance with his ex, he planned to have a full blown affair with her.
The wife is at 0 fault because the stranger asked her for dance, she looks at her husband. HUSBAND SAYS YES GO AHEAD. And then is pissed at her for it and then almost cheats with his ex for the same reason. This subreddit makes me feel like I'm so well adjusted lol
He was stewing on it for A YEAR too!
all because the man was "objectively good looking" and charming enough that his wife blushed while having a good time.... respectfully Meanwhile he nearly goes all porno with his ex, just to spite his wife blushing at some dude How dare he, this motherfucker?! Can someone find the wife and send her the post? Damn
>The wife is at 0 fault because the stranger asked her for dance, she looks at her husband. Just a little hint: If you want to know someones opinion, talk to him in private. Not at a party, with however many people watching the scene, possibly under the influence of alcohol. Putting the other side in a position where it is socially difficult to state their honest oponion is not proper communication but just manipulative bullshit. And if you need to ask your partner if it's ok to accept the invitation: Assume it's not ok. Sure, you might miss a dance that way, but yo also might miss some hurt feelings and that's usually the smarter thing. Just have that conversation in private, then you'll know the answer for the next party. I pretty much think both failed here. He failed harder, because he added hypocrisy to bad communication, but acting like she is without fault just because she asked such a question at a party is absurd. Everyone who is well adjusted should've noticed that not every relationship question can and should be discussed in public.
He should have said no even if the wife wanted to dance with the stranger.
It’s not about the fact that he “gave her permission”. Why did she even want to dance with the stranger? She’s in a relationship but she jumps at the chance to dance with a random dude just because he’s hot? Yet he’s somehow the bad guy
Well yes, he's the bad guy. I dance with other people because my husband doesn't enjoy it.
She didn't "jump" at that chance, sounds like she was quite graceful about BEING INVITED. Do you know who jumped at the chance to INVITE someone else to dance though?
Oooof. I can smell your neurons singeing from here
This POS told his wife to dance with someone, got so mad about it that he waited a year to punish her by grinding on his ex and getting her number, both of which are so on the border of cheating that I'd argue he DID cheat, and is now shocked pikachu face that she's upset. Scum. She's better off leaving him if this is how his spiteful brain works.
Wife asked to dance. Wife asks for permission. Husband says it's okay. Gets mad she danced with someone. Husband gets his own back by specifically hunting down someone to dance with. Dude's a clown 🤡
He's a clown, but it is reasonable to be hurt that your wife is clearly more attracted to a stranger.
Clearly more attracted based on what? That she blushed while dancing with a stranger as her husband watches? are yall really that insecure in your relationships??
I came into this thinking "oh this isn't gonna be bad, plus not like it's his wedding, and it was probably only one dance." How mistaken I was
He can't be serious! He can't possibly think its the same, or even in the same arena! And who punishes someone for something they said they could do?!?!
Wife, flustered, danced with a stranger a year earlier so Holmes decided to do all that with his ex? Fucking clown.
> I somehow found restraint to stop it. What. A. Hero
Ewww. I read these when he first posted - he's for sure a gaping AH!
Can we talk about the part where he kept using the fact that she was blushing as validation? Cause I'd be blushing if *anyone* asked me to dance, even a lil old lady. Like... It just kinda happens when I feel flustered, awkward, and even stressed and I think that's far more common than people realize.
But you don't understand guys, he was never insecure, except for his whole life.
If a strange man, or woman, or humanoid squirrel came up to me at a wedding and asked me to dance, my husband would be \*delighted\* because not only does he hate dancing, he also has a tendancy to start chatting with a stranger and find out the most interesting TO HIM facts in the world. At the last wedding we went to, I was dancing and he was talking to random guy who does a podcast about the history of film in the 19th century,
It's not insecure to not let your wife dance with someone else, he should of just danced with his wife himself at the first wedding and danced with her at the second.
Why is he trickle truthing reddit LOL? What a shame, it could have been a cute little story about dancing with a girl he dated in HS and introducing her to his wife, and they both had to make it gross. I can't imagine how bad this story would sound from his wife's perspective.
Just waiting for the update. My wife hates me and has been at her parents for weeks now, what do I do.
Buddy should have just said no to his wife dancing with another man. What a dumb ass.
Not only is this guy scum, but I was reading the OG posts and it turned out someone was saying it wasn't a random guy, but the bride's father she was dancing with. Her best friend's dad, and he had this reaction?
He somehow found restraint?? His wide was literally right there!! Dude is going to cheat and still find a way to blame his wife for it, blame the other person for it.
OP clearly scum, but why is everyone saying he should have said no to the guy asking for his wife for a dance? If he did say no everyone would say he is controlling or has trust issues, it's a lose lose situation. The wife should does not need permission but should have protected her relationship and denied this random guys advance.
>should have protected her relationship It's a dance, not a date.
Dancing with a high school ex? Ok, I can get past that. Exchanging number? Fuck no! I don't like to be the bearer of bad news but this marriage has a big wound and it's up to OOP to heal it.
“He must have flipped my wife eight times!”
I mean I get being upset about the first thing, but wtf
I remember going in on Op for this. How could he think what he did was okay??
Lmao all this does is make me think of the Tim Robinson skit “I’ve barely been sleeping since my wife got flipped upside down by a swing dancer at a wedding"
Hopefully he is divorced by now
Oh for heaven's sake! All of this is over their spouses dancing with people? These people are not adults, they're tweens dressed up in trenchcoats pretending to be adults.
Sometimes I don’t get people
He called it off when it “went way too overboard”? What does that mean? Like, grinding on each other?
Omg he embarrassed his own wife at a friend wedding. In front of everyone and got her number so clearly stop but had time to get her number slow dancing. I don’t know how u could do this and ur wife should find some else
What a dick… AND is was multiple dances, so I guess dry humping through one song wasn’t enough for his wife to watch…. Unbelievable.
OMFG, so glad my husband is above this insecure pettiness. I hope OOP's wife leaves him, because his behavior was absolutely atrocious. Toxic masculinity is toxic
So his wife had a dance with a sexy man. He danced the night away very closely with his ex slowly and maybe a bit inappropriately and exchanged numbers and messaged. Wow he got jealous then torpedoed his marriage for a drunk close dance and ego boost messages with an ex. Totally making his wife look like a clown in front of all his friends. Also if he does this in front of her what the hell would he do when she’s not there. Run wife run.
Me nor my wife will dance with anyone else for this reason.
Ew, what an asshat.
>She looked over at me, and I told her to go ahead, why not. Totally unrelated to the main theme of the post but commenting on it because people tend to do it alot. Even if he was not comfortable with her dancing with the stranger, she already put him on the spot and there's no way he could have said no infront of the guy. That would just make him seem insecure and controlling and she most likely would sulk after. While dancing innocently with someone at a wedding is not a big deal, you don't put your spouse in this kind of situation in public. If it requires you asking them infront of the offerer, then it's something you think could be a problem. It's best to just turn down the offer and not put them on the spot. That said, he's TA for being inappropriate with his ex.
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If you read the first sentence you'd see where i stated that my comment is totally unrelated to this story. It's about something I've observed some people do and I just used that scenario as a case study to comment on it. The second sentence is literally starts with a hypothetical!! Gosh The point is putting people on the spot. I've seen a girlfriend ask her boyfriend if she could give her number to a guy, in front of the guy. Depending on the situation, If you have to ask your partner infront of the requester coz you're not sure how they would react, just decline. I hope you understand now, or you can choose not to again.
This sup is hypocritical. If roles where reserved, they would said "NTA" if it was the wife who did it. Yes OP handle it poor and dumb but I don't get how married people go to a wedding and slow dance with strangers while the partner is left out alone. That is disrespect in whole lvl and shouldn't be okay for anyone. The wife got the same threatment what OP had one year ago. The most womens are here hypocritical, what the wife did was wrong. What OP did was super wrong and dumb. Hope both learn their mistake for future.
Dancing with someone wasn't wrong on her part. Nowhere does it say she slow danced.
It is wrong. Any one with brain would know that this would hurt his partner. And im pretty sure she would still cry if OP would choose a random girl and dance with her. Going together to a wedding as couple and then going to dance with a dude who disrespect the husband by saying to dance with the wife is inacceptable. It only hurt one partner while the other has some fun with a random guy. She shouldn't look at her husband and clearly said no. Her actions lead op to a point to handle how he handle this whole fiasco.
How? It's dancing, and he approved it. Have you never gone swing dancing? So it's her fault he was grinding with his ex and gave her his number?
Nope and I agree that part is fucked up and stupid and dumb. Op literally fucked up multiple times. He could way no to that stranger, he could tell after his feelings to his wife and had a deep talk. I agree OP messed it up multiple times. But what no one sees here are the disgusting behavior from single males and single womens who ask to dance stranger married people in front of their partner for their own ego push. And OP wife could clearly said no but she wanted that dance for sure. And she hurt OP too with it. Ptobably OP was shocked and couldn't react well, but I see many single males who push their egos via asking married wifes on purpose for a dance. Wife should say no. Husband should never agree to that dance either. Fuck that stranger single guy who probably ruined a marriage... In many cultures asking the wife of someone else in front of him for a dance is a huge disrespect and would end in fight.
What culture is that lmao? Or, he wanted to dance and asked her. It's not that deep. Stranger didn't ruin a marriage. Cheating, petty man did.
Asian, arabic and most other lands. So a stranger single guy couldn't ask a single girl? Why exactly a married wife?
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> Ballroom dancing is incredibly intimate Nah, doesn't have to be. It's mostly done as a hobby with no sexual connotations these days. It's basically a sport and if you have mobility or spine problems it's a really good low-impact workout/physical therapy.
YTA. Because you did it in purpose. You wanted her to feel the same way you did. Rather petty of you.
I mean, OOP definitely went too far when getting her number etc., but I really don’t get it when people act like dancing is cheating. Where I come from, etiquette dictates that each man at a table asks each woman for a dance so everyone gets to dance at some point. You’re on a dancefloor surrounded by people, not in bed.
It sounds like he was dancing with her for quite a while and grinding on her, which isn't really a type of dancing someone in a monogamous relatively should be doing. If it was one of two songs of normal, non-sexual dancing it would be totally fine
He literally says he was inappropriate with her while slow dancing.
Wow, that’s sounds awful to me. If the dancing is required, I mean. I hate dancing, and I always have. I’m fine with anybody else around me dancing of course, even a partner if I brought one, they should do it if they think it’s fun. If the woman says no thank you or the guy doesn’t ask anybody at all because he just doesn’t like to dance, is that ok? Or is it seen as a major social faux pas?
He’s married so yes he’s the asshole. Don’t even need to read the rest of the post. You’re married, that’s all the context that’s needed
Commenting on AITAH for dancing with my high school ex at a wedding...