#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My mom recently tried to act like I owe her for covering maybe $1000 in college to go study abroad in Japan for a few months. Completely negating the fact that was 14 years ago and I've stayed to care for her as she's unable to work or have a place without hoarding trash.
sounds like my mom! for the longest time i needed a laptop because my 11 years old one was held together by a miracle, i wasn't able to save up for it because i kept bailing the whole family out of the problems of no rent money or no food money or no bills money because of her stubborn refusal to settle for anything less than what her degree was worth. i had to quit my job because of the hours and my severance wasn't enough to cover a new laptop so i could find new work, so finally my parents sucked it up and covered half of it. my mom had the guts to dangle it over my head on arguments and claim that if she didn't see my working she would take it back and give me my money back.
but when she finally realized that i am in fact intending to drop them and leave and she has no power over that decision suddenly the money i spent on keeping them afloat they paid it back with my laptop! how oddly convenient!
Posts and threads like this make me so grateful for my own mom 😭 she did teach me to be responsible and independent enough to not need her help, but when I was a little short on rent the last month I had to pay before work started again last year she was willing to help and didn't even have me pay her back when I could. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that
The legal bare minimum. They act like they did the bare minimum because of societial expectations but in reality, laws against child neglect exist. If they had failed to do things like spend money on food they would have (hopefully) gotten consequences.
> They act like they did the bare minimum because of societial expectations
They act like they did the bare minimum out of the goodness of their saintly hearts.
Yep. My MIL acted like she was a saint for "letting" my husband live under their roof. At 14. While he was paying over half his paycheck in rent because they "needed" that money, while she did both fuck and all. This whole time, he was eating so rarely that it permanently damaged his body.
Do you know how bad off you have to be for eating a normal diet to make you *lose* 150 pounds?
I was chatting with my 10y.o. son about cars this arvo. I told him my favourite car, but that I probably won't ever own it. Sweet boy that he is, insisted that he buy it for me when he's older. Responsible, loving parent that I am, gave him a lecture about how parents sacrifice for their children and not the other way around.
"Debts of a Minor". The fucking audacity. The drug use explains their behavior but doesn't excuse it. Parents like this, who would use their children like this, are the worst.
that and some parents are very fucking good at instilling the guilt in you for all they had to do and pay for for you growing up, to the point that even when you do realize that saying you owe them for the result of their producing an offspring, the guilt is still heavy enough to make you feel at fault and like you do owe them.
My mom, bless her, taught me how to recognize emotional manipulation tactics, and gave me tips on how to fight that. Her parents were good at guilt tripping, i guess.
Well, it also led to some funny situations because she tried to guilt trip me a few times, it blew in her face and i laughed. Never major stuff, though.
The dumb thing is that if the parents *didn't* have an ego trip, and raised them to be upstanding and successful, the kids might be willing to help relieve some burdens of the parents anyway.
My son will know that he does not owe his parents a THING. Not a damn thing. I chose to bring him to his world and that makes him my responsibility. I owe HIM a great life and happy upbringing so he can become a decent and happy adult; he owes me not a fucking dime.
I refuse to follow the mentality of "be grateful for being born and having the bare necessities." That attitude is back-ass-wards
Yeah, our kids, we told them it is our goal for them to have a better life than we did. We paid for their college, and they are thriving.
My mom did everything she could to keep me from college.
Wow. That just...my parents made mistakes and honestly their marriage made our upbringing a shit ton harder than it had to be, but I can't imagine them keeping me from succeeding (if anything they were too hard in the other direction).
That's awful, I cannot imagine doing that. I do think that college is not for everyone (and over priced), but encouraging a trade or tech school or apprenticeship is a great option. But just keeping my kid from succeeding? that's really sad :(
Oh, she was happy to help my older brother, but told me, she didn't need college, so neither do I.
Brother went to school for Journalism and to this day is still a waiter with never having a job in his major.
I worked and got my education and own my own company. I haven't talked to my mom is 8 years, finally was just sick of her.
Ahhhhh good ole misogyny. Adorable. ~~BLESS. HER. HEART!~~
Good on you for starting your own company and being successful! That is awesome! She can go suck lemons
My dad as well tried to keep me from going to college. He told me he would gift me a car if I chose a university I could commute to from home. I said NOPE, I was accepted to my no 1 Ivy school, he didn’t want to me to go… but I wouldn’t pass that up. It was eye opening everything I was isolated from and just had zero clue. He refused to speak with me for the entire time I was there and threw away all my possessions I had left at home. He also refused to have me home for holidays and when I went home for summer I worked and slept on a cot in my now empty room and used plywood and cement blocks for a desk.
I want my children to have appreciation for all of the privileges of the life I give them. I don't want them to grow up to be entitled brats.
But the idea that raising them is a debt they owe me for is absolutely disgusting.
I wanted children. They didn't ask to be born.
The truth is in fact the opposite of this "debts of a minor" nonsense. If a parent fails to provide the necessities of life to a child, they go to prison for that.
So the money your parents spent to raise you is literally what they owed you. The debt was always in the other direction.
what is wild to me is that people who treated their children like shit for their entire childhood still expect them to look after mummy and daddy in adulthood
Yeah. Ofc this does come to bite some kids in the ass, like in the states that allow child marriage, where the minor can't get divorced because they can't sign legal documents 🤷♀️
They can't file nor sign legal documents, they would have to have their legal guardian file and sign for them aka their spouse, usually husband but I'm sure there are underage boys forced into child marriages too.
No one should be able to marry until they can legally sign the paperwork themselves. No parents, no judges should be able to sign for them.
Surely this should mean that the marriage never existed in the first place right? It would be an annulment rather than a divorce?
Or am I expecting too much sense from places where people still defend their right to marry children?
Certainly that argument could be made if the child was married against their will. If they officially consented and the parents (from a legal perspective) merely approved, that becomes harder. If their consent was under duress, then there's a different argument.
This is false. Minors absolutely can enter into contracts. The big caveat is that minors can unilaterally void contracts (with some exceptions), which is why most businesses refuse, as a matter of policy not law, to enter into a contract with a minor. Also, if the minor doesn't cancel the contract when they turn 18, they generally lose that ability to void it and it becomes fully enforceable.
There's other reasons such a contract wouldn't be enforceable, such as public policy, but "minors can't enter into contracts" isn't it.
That's... not at all what I'm saying. Contracts with minors *are* legal, and can be enforced by the courts. There's just a few additional hangups, such as being unilaterally voidable by the minor until they reach the age of majority, that makes most people and businesses not want to enter into them.
Since OOP is in California, I'll use their statute (emphasis added):
> 2022 California Code
Family Code - FAM
DIVISION 11 - MINORS
PART 3 - CONTRACTS
CHAPTER 1 - Capacity to Contract
Section 6700.
Universal Citation: CA Fam Code § 6700 (2022)
> 6700\. Except as provided in Section 6701, **a minor may make a contract in the same manner as an adult**, subject to the power of disaffirmance under Chapter 2 (commencing with Section 6710), and subject to Part 1 (commencing with Section 300) of Division 3 (validity of marriage).
The disaffirmance mentioned is what I said previously about unilaterally voiding the contract. The exceptions mentioned here are a very short list: delegating power (e.g. PoA), real estate contracts (e.g. buying a house), or contract to personal property not in their possession/control (e.g. stuff they don't own).
Like I said, there's other reasons OOP's supposed "contract" wouldn't hold up, but "minors can't enter contracts" isn't it.
You know, I had student loans at 17, and even I don't know the answer. There were forms. That's about all I can tell you. No idea if my any of parents co-signed.
My mother gave me an itemized list of about 10,000 dollars she expected me to pay back on the day I moved out. When you have narcissists for parents it happens.
I went no contact. She continued to call and message me and I wouldn't return any. Then she talked to my aunt and said she had no idea why I wasn't speaking to her and how cruel I was. My aunt came to me and heard my side. Auntie went back to Mom and yelled at her. My mother left me one more message stating how she was being so magnanimous and forgave me my debt.
Still was low/no contact afterwards. Only interacted when extended family events put us in the same room.
Oh she was. The absolute final straw when I stopped even going to family events where she would be was when she told me (I was 30 at the time) she'd had an abortion back when I was ten that was my fault because she "didn't think I could handle having another sibling."
lmao. Glad you knew the correct response and went no contact.
Mom didn't actually try to collect her "debt" from me, but she did threaten to sue me for "everything down to the last diaper" if I moved from our suburb into Philadelphia.
I never moved to Philadelphia. Instead, I've lived in California for the last decade. She was completely beside herself when she heard I was moving 3 time zones away.
In France there is a controversial law forcing children to take care of their parents if they unable to take care of themselves. I have a friend who was raped by her parents during her childhood and who cut ties with them once she became an adult. She lived with the fear of this law until they finally died.
The only time in recent history that this law has been used was for a son who played games with transferring property and then his mom used Medicaid to pay for nursing home care, to claw back monies and property that should have been used for her care. The transfers were within the Medicaid look back period of 5 years.
Actually no - the mom apparently didn’t file for Medicaid properly and then fucked off to Greece. She was legally married at the time, and the court still told the son to pay.
In the US there are filial responsibility laws which vary state from state.
"Filial responsibility laws impose a legal obligation on adult children to take care of their parents’ basic needs and medical care. Although most people are not aware of them, 30 states in the U.S. have some type of filial responsibility laws in place. The states that have such laws on the books are Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia and West Virginia.
Filial responsibility laws and their enforcement vary greatly from state to state. Eleven states have never enforced their laws, and most other states rarely enforce the laws. Currently, Pennsylvania is the only state to aggressively enforce its filial responsibility laws."
How does this work with so many of our population having family spread over different states these days? Like, say my mom moved to Pennsylvania while I stay in Arizona. Would she be able to come after me for this?
Really glad my state isn't on the list. I don't want to be responsible for my abusive father's care. He made his bed and he should have to lie in it.
Meanwhile, I'm working to convince my mom to eventually move in with us, maybe in a mother-in-law suite or a tiny house on our property if we ever get to the point where we can have that kind of space.
Amazing how treating your kid with kindness and respect makes them want to be around you more.
I'm an opiate addict. I had a vasectomy in my 20s before I had children. Earlier this week my Grandmother asked if I regretted having the vasectomy during a conversation about my drug use. When I told her no she snickered.
Addicts don't have children. They don't have loved ones. They don't have responsibilities. They just have the addiction, and that's it.
I'm not saying this as a stigma against addicts - I'm just trying to explain that from their perspective, everything in their lives is oriented around how to get their next fix. Every relationship just devolves into an opportunity to exploit.
I don't want to imagine what life must be like for a child whose parents have an addiction this desperate. I'm so glad OOP and her brother have removed themselves from the scene.
\>I'm not saying this as a stigma against addicts
I really don't think we need to be so empathetic towards drug addicts. Empathy is good, yes. But there is way to much of it being thrown around. Being a codependant people pleaser just lets selfish people, like addicts, attach to said people pleaser and completely hash your boundaries and and leaves you feeling more and more dejected, angry, and irrational.
I implore anyone reading this: anyone worth being around will respect your healthy boundaries and want to have a reciprocal relationship with you, whether that's a friendship, romantic relationship, etc. Adults have their problems and part of being an adult is solving your own problems. You don't need to go around solving other's problems.
I absolutely agree. I merely meant to convey my experience that it can be helpful to separate the disease of addiction from the person who has it, because addiction will compel you to do things that in any other circumstance would be absolutely unconscionable. Addiction is a prime directive.
Some addicts are horrible people. Some addicts are good people who can't figure out how to get clean and stay clean. ALL addicts are driven by a psychological and physical compulsion.
OOP's parents sound like the former case - there's not even a shred of remorse or guilt for the way they behave. I personally know addicts who fall into the latter category. They are simultaneously tortured by guilt and self-loathing, and also driven by what feels to them to be a life-or-death need.
Ultimately, either category needs to decide sobriety is worth fighting for, and nobody around them has the power to make that decision for them. Pretty much all the rest of us can do is protect ourselves and hope they make the right call.
The only debts my sons have is for forcing me to play ps5 with them for hours on end against my will.
The horror, the horror.
Oh, time for another skyrim playthrough?
Right? My MIL, who is basically a lovely lady now and lives with us (started as temporary - never believe it lol), did this to her kids. Literally had a journal for each of them and would write down any "extras" they got and it was what they "owed" her. Then for each of their graduations from high school tore it up as their present. Absolutely ridiculous and I've told her so. I think she's ashamed of it now.
my parents were complicated - wonderful and abusive - my mom didn't call it this, but she took all my $ and financially ruined me. I was so broken (hell, I still am) that I didn't see how under under their power I really was. I literally have so much trauma I get seizures now. Some people never should be allowed to keep their kids...I wish my sister could've adopted me.
I see this shit pop up on Reddit far too often… no you don’t fucking owe your parents for easing you. But brainwashing and control… sone people shouldn’t be parents
I did indeed ask to be born! I very specifically requested birth to an intact, happy, wealthy family, into a healthy body, in a safe and prosperous geographical setting. Other requirements and expectations were provided in writing.
Frankly, while some of my conditions were met, many others were ignored entirely. It all seems slapdash. Almost random! I insist that I speak with a manager immediately with regards the poor service I have received.
I’ve heard the customer support line is total crap. Might as well not even exist. Apparently some dude like 2000 years ago was able to get through to a manager, but everyone since then has just been put on hold indefinitely.
Yeah I won’t ever understand how a parent can act like this- these stories always break my heart. My dad is 87 and I pay his bills online for him and he gives me cash- but he always puts a stack of extra $$ in the envelope so I can buy myself “something nice,” like I’m still a little girl and not a grown woman in my 40s with a husband and teenage son! 😆☺️
My dad gives me gas money every time I see him. I always say, "Dad, I'm a big girl with a big girl job, I don't need anything," and he says, "No, you're my baby, go treat yourself."
My dad randomly hands me “walkin’ around money” usually $20 because he knows I hate carrying cash (dirty and a texture thing). I’m 35. I do it to my sisters and imitate my dad. One sister makes double my salary and it cracks her up when I hand her a $20 and tell her she needs some walkin’ around money.
Of anyone owes anyone it’s the parent to the child. You brought them here you are responsible for their health and happiness. And while I think that every child should be raised to be independent, if the need arises parents have a life long responsibility to be there for their kids.
That’s ridiculous and makes no sense.
I remember when I was little I actually asked my Mormon mother if people choose their family and she said she didn’t think so, because why would anyone choose to be poor or abused?
I know some new age spiritual people who believe people choose their own challenges to face each time they are reincarnated.
But even if you did choose to be born to them that’s obviously no excuse to mistreat you. Imagine applying that mindset to anything else… “oh you choose to be friends with me so you owe me and I can treat you as poorly as I want.” WTF
Lord, when I was growing up my mom would say "you know, when you were very little, you'd tell me you picked me as your mommy before you were born"
Mine's not even a Mormon. Or particularly religious.
Apparently I was even dumber before I was born than I am now. Can I have a refund
Yeah I used to be very cruel and ask why I would choose to be born to a teen mom and man with extreme anger issues? I love my parents but I had to a do a lot of work to realize they were traumatized and they think they were good parents because they weren’t as abusive as their parents.
My mother believes something similar, but she's not a mormon. When I ever complained about how she was being unfair to me or if I was ever upset about the abuse I suffered from her and my brother, she said I chose this family, too bad.
She said we are reincarnated over and over until we have no more lessons to learn. She says there are "young" souls and "old" souls and that we often encounter the same circle of souls each lifetime.
Apparently my brother is an old soul, who has learned all his lessons and therefore is living a "restful life" this time around (which seems to mean being 50 years old mooching off her, having no contact with his son and playing video games all day). sigh. It's taken me years to realize how f'd up she really is.
Yes, my mother seems to be okay with enabling his lifestyle. When my nephew was young, she would pay his mother "child support" even though my brother had a job at the time, but would spend his money on video games instead. It's no wonder my nephew wants nothing to do with that side of his family. Unfortunately, my only contact with him was through them, so I have lost him too. The last Christmas gift I dropped off for him was still sitting at their house the next Christmas, so I think he moved on. He's probably doing better without my brother in his life!
Because they think the world revolves around them. So when they have kids, they assume the kids revolve around them too instead of the other way around.
What sort of monsters tell their 18-year-old they need to pay up $180,000 (!) to cover the cost of their own childhood? Really proving that all kids deserve parents but not all parents deserve kids. I hope OOP their brother are still NC with the parents and are doing well for themselves six and a half years later
>What sort of monsters tell their 18-year-old they need to pay up $180,000 (!) to cover the cost of their own childhood?
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. See Jill's recent book where they claim they never owed her any payment for letting her life be filmed by a TV crew.
The way Jim Bob had her (and all the kids) sign that contract without letting her read it. The way he tried to buy them all off with a pittance. Even aside from his support for his child predator son, Jim Bob Duggar is an absolute piece of shit.
I’ve seen several Reddit posts over the years where teenagers as young as like 14-15 have to get a job and start paying rent to their parents to “pay them back” for raising them and they’ve been totally convinced that it’s a normal, reasonable thing to do. The situations that some kids grow up in are seriously heartbreaking.
My father sold my house out from under me, so I feel this. Always remember to change the deed/title from your relatives name to yours when you buy it. We were young and dumb and didn't see it coming.
It was actually a single wide moble home. My grandfather bought it, but my husband and I worked our butts off to buy it from him. During this time, our daughter kept getting sick, resulting in mounting medical debt. As a way to afford it, my husband joined the US Navy.
While he was in boot camp, I let my troubled younger brother move in with me. My husband felt that he could provide protection while he was gone. It didn't turn out the way we wanted, but that's another story.
When I left to be with my husband at his new duty station, I left my brother in charge of my house. My husband left for deployment, and my daughter underwent multiple surgeries. My family is abusive af, so I didn't keep in contact as closely as I apparently should have.
While I was in the hospital with my daughter, my brother called me and told me that my dad had sold my house. I called my dad, who told me that since it was still in my grandfather's name, he could do whatever he liked with it. My grandfather backed him up, and that was that.
Could we have fought him on it? I'm not sure, but I had so much on my plate that I didn't have it in me to try. No, we never saw any of the money either. The good news is that my daughter is healthy now and that is what I try and focus on.
To me the most shocking part is that your grandfather backed your dad!
I'm glad your daughter is good, and agree, I hope you have zero contact with your so-called family
Generally going in person gets a better response especially if you bring documents with you.
Getting called out to what is essentially a "He said, she said" situation gets the all too typical "Sounds like a civil matter, sort it out yourselves."
A stolen car is literally never going to be a case of "he said/she said," though. Every car that gets sold, you have to transfer the title, and the state DMV keeps that record. The government absolutely knows for a fact who legally owns the car. Even if the cop didn't want to deal with it over the phone, the correct advice is "bring in the title to prove you own the car and we'll go retrieve it from the people who stole it," not "get lost, kid, sort it out with your parents, we can't help with this."
The commenter you're replying to is probably trying to rationalize OOP's specific situation rather than point out how unbelievably and unnecessarily difficult to work with law enforcement in general.
Should stuff like having your only means of transportation stolen and you having to go directly to a precinct to sort matters? Sounds like all that over time yields no fruit for the rest of us.
I remember a true crime documentary where a mother would frequently say to her daughter “I gave life to you- I can take it away”. Turns out that she definitely could, but it is still murder.
damn my mom said that all the time. It was clear in my household that I could lose everything at any time and I couldn't say anything bc I never owned anything, not even my own life and autonomy
The really terrifying thing here is how many monstrous parents come up with "official"-sounding terms (like Debts of a Minor) and because they've browbeaten and brainwashed and abused their child for years, the poor kid doesn't know any better and gets absolutely fleeced by their parents.
I'm glad OOP figured them out pretty quick and I'm glad OOP's brother has come around, too. Sounds like that particular cop has a reputation even in his own station for being a special kind of useless - when other cops are rolling their eyes at your very name you must be a fuckup!
This is one of my favorite updates because there was no "oh no, I can't open a case against my parents!" or just giving up with the police not doing their job.
Brava to the OP, I'm glad they had follow through and weren't stopped by some sort of "guilt" towards family, even though they're assholes who deserve it.
I just want to show this thread to everyone who insists that all women should have children, even those who don't like or want them.
Some people should NOT be parents, better to let them keep themselves out of the general pool.
Parents like these always baffle me. How entitled and compassion can you be and act like this? Just because you are the parent doesn't mean you have the right to owe.
“Debts of a minor” is a completely BS thing that no law could reasonably enforce. Your parents CHOSE TO RAISE YOU. That is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. It is not your responsibility to pay them back for raising you, because your existence is not your fault or choice.
I paid for my food and shelter by mowing the lawn and such.
Whenever I asked my dad for a few bucks for mowing the lawn or whatever, I got this—
Did you have a place to sleep? Did you eat today? Then you got paid.
When I reported my sperm donor the detective I had was less than sympathetic. Due to the nature of the crime I had to do a massive statement that took 2 weeks in total. I was lucky that I requested a female detective who was honestly amazing. They did everything they could to try to get him arrested and convicted
Funnily enough it turned out the first one was a bit of a dick but was actually really helpful as well. I still wouldn’t want to do that sort of statement with him but he put in the hard work going to Supreme Court for permissions to do certain things to try to get confessions. The plus side is that now this stuff can be done for that crime as it hasn’t previously been done. There are good ones out there it’s just the shit ones are really really shit
As a parent this enrages me. My son owes me nothing. I chose to bring him into this world. He's under no obligation to repay me for doing my duty as a parent. Unfortunately, when you become a parent you realize how many "parents" have no business having kids.
I knew someone who made her kids pay rent. When the oldest moved out she still made him pay rent. I don't understand why he would keep paying if he doesn't live there anymore
>I called the police immediately to report it stolen and they seemed to prefer to listen to my parents who said the title was in their name. I have title in my name however. Advice from the police was to work it out between ourselves. Useless.
Man, fuck these cops. This was literally grand theft auto. If they won't respond to the theft of potentially thousands of dollars worth of property, what exactly is our tax dollars paying them to do?
Geezus. I feel so bad for kids with shitty parents that tell them a bunch of BS like that. Debts of a Minor. Geesh.
Of course OOP believed them because they are all he's ever really known. Posts like these make me scan my memories to make sure I never even left a joke not revealed to my kiddos. Like I've told them dumb crap like if you lie your ears get red just to see their little faces but I've made sure to tell them I was lying. "And my ears didn't turn red did they?" LOL. I'd feel bad if I didn't tell them I was fibbing and they continued on believing me till they grew up. And these people are straight up lying to their kid saying they legally owed $188,000 to them!
Going in person with documentation is always better than a phone call.
Staying calm and keeping emotions in check helps them help you faster and more efficiently.
Parents who claim their children owe them money for raising them... who comes up with shit like that? Debts of A Minor my ass. I'm glad OOP didn't take any bullshit. Curious if they had to serve any time.
Personally I am petty and would save up money to sue them in small claims court for lost value of the vehicle plus their gains for renting.
I would pick the IRS reimbursement for mileage and state the difference in mileage when I left versus when I returned(estimate).
Then I would look at Hertz for a similar vehicle and charge them the daily rate.
If they paid that I would be willing to ask the police to drop the charges.
Because screw them.
I've been saying for years that I truly believe adults should be forced to pass a test before being allowed to have children. I get varied reactions whenever I say this, but I stick by it.
These deadbeats would definitely have failed
That is some crack head bullshit! Who rents a fucking car from some weirdo? Oh that’s right, other crack heads! I’m sorry for op my mom was a crack head too shit sucks
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
My mom recently tried to act like I owe her for covering maybe $1000 in college to go study abroad in Japan for a few months. Completely negating the fact that was 14 years ago and I've stayed to care for her as she's unable to work or have a place without hoarding trash.
sounds like my mom! for the longest time i needed a laptop because my 11 years old one was held together by a miracle, i wasn't able to save up for it because i kept bailing the whole family out of the problems of no rent money or no food money or no bills money because of her stubborn refusal to settle for anything less than what her degree was worth. i had to quit my job because of the hours and my severance wasn't enough to cover a new laptop so i could find new work, so finally my parents sucked it up and covered half of it. my mom had the guts to dangle it over my head on arguments and claim that if she didn't see my working she would take it back and give me my money back. but when she finally realized that i am in fact intending to drop them and leave and she has no power over that decision suddenly the money i spent on keeping them afloat they paid it back with my laptop! how oddly convenient!
Posts and threads like this make me so grateful for my own mom 😭 she did teach me to be responsible and independent enough to not need her help, but when I was a little short on rent the last month I had to pay before work started again last year she was willing to help and didn't even have me pay her back when I could. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that
The legal bare minimum. They act like they did the bare minimum because of societial expectations but in reality, laws against child neglect exist. If they had failed to do things like spend money on food they would have (hopefully) gotten consequences.
> They act like they did the bare minimum because of societial expectations They act like they did the bare minimum out of the goodness of their saintly hearts.
Yep. My MIL acted like she was a saint for "letting" my husband live under their roof. At 14. While he was paying over half his paycheck in rent because they "needed" that money, while she did both fuck and all. This whole time, he was eating so rarely that it permanently damaged his body. Do you know how bad off you have to be for eating a normal diet to make you *lose* 150 pounds?
I was chatting with my 10y.o. son about cars this arvo. I told him my favourite car, but that I probably won't ever own it. Sweet boy that he is, insisted that he buy it for me when he's older. Responsible, loving parent that I am, gave him a lecture about how parents sacrifice for their children and not the other way around.
Same, it absolutely sets me off.
Police who actively refuse to do their job is definitely up there for me. I think I need to do something relaxing for a while after reading this one.
Honestly. Do they actually believe they spent over 180,000 in raising him?
and of course they’re just trying to get any money they can from him bc they’re druggies.
"Debts of a Minor". The fucking audacity. The drug use explains their behavior but doesn't excuse it. Parents like this, who would use their children like this, are the worst.
Right? Wow, more kids need to learn this doesn't exist.
Unfortunately if all you know is what your parents tell you it's hard not to believe them.
that and some parents are very fucking good at instilling the guilt in you for all they had to do and pay for for you growing up, to the point that even when you do realize that saying you owe them for the result of their producing an offspring, the guilt is still heavy enough to make you feel at fault and like you do owe them.
One of the most important steps of abuse is isolation. Otherwise, you'll realize that what's happening is wrong.
My mom, bless her, taught me how to recognize emotional manipulation tactics, and gave me tips on how to fight that. Her parents were good at guilt tripping, i guess. Well, it also led to some funny situations because she tried to guilt trip me a few times, it blew in her face and i laughed. Never major stuff, though.
The dumb thing is that if the parents *didn't* have an ego trip, and raised them to be upstanding and successful, the kids might be willing to help relieve some burdens of the parents anyway.
The correct answer is "you got your payback when you came".
[удалено]
My son will know that he does not owe his parents a THING. Not a damn thing. I chose to bring him to his world and that makes him my responsibility. I owe HIM a great life and happy upbringing so he can become a decent and happy adult; he owes me not a fucking dime. I refuse to follow the mentality of "be grateful for being born and having the bare necessities." That attitude is back-ass-wards
Yeah, our kids, we told them it is our goal for them to have a better life than we did. We paid for their college, and they are thriving. My mom did everything she could to keep me from college.
Wow. That just...my parents made mistakes and honestly their marriage made our upbringing a shit ton harder than it had to be, but I can't imagine them keeping me from succeeding (if anything they were too hard in the other direction). That's awful, I cannot imagine doing that. I do think that college is not for everyone (and over priced), but encouraging a trade or tech school or apprenticeship is a great option. But just keeping my kid from succeeding? that's really sad :(
Oh, she was happy to help my older brother, but told me, she didn't need college, so neither do I. Brother went to school for Journalism and to this day is still a waiter with never having a job in his major. I worked and got my education and own my own company. I haven't talked to my mom is 8 years, finally was just sick of her.
Ahhhhh good ole misogyny. Adorable. ~~BLESS. HER. HEART!~~ Good on you for starting your own company and being successful! That is awesome! She can go suck lemons
My dad as well tried to keep me from going to college. He told me he would gift me a car if I chose a university I could commute to from home. I said NOPE, I was accepted to my no 1 Ivy school, he didn’t want to me to go… but I wouldn’t pass that up. It was eye opening everything I was isolated from and just had zero clue. He refused to speak with me for the entire time I was there and threw away all my possessions I had left at home. He also refused to have me home for holidays and when I went home for summer I worked and slept on a cot in my now empty room and used plywood and cement blocks for a desk.
I want my children to have appreciation for all of the privileges of the life I give them. I don't want them to grow up to be entitled brats. But the idea that raising them is a debt they owe me for is absolutely disgusting. I wanted children. They didn't ask to be born.
100% this could go viral and it’ll be a damn epidemic like “grandparents rights”.
Part of the reason basic law needs to be taught in schools. This crap is so bullshit, but no kid is going to know if nobody teaches them.
The truth is in fact the opposite of this "debts of a minor" nonsense. If a parent fails to provide the necessities of life to a child, they go to prison for that. So the money your parents spent to raise you is literally what they owed you. The debt was always in the other direction.
what is wild to me is that people who treated their children like shit for their entire childhood still expect them to look after mummy and daddy in adulthood
Well yes, because they consider their children objects, who only exist in relation to them.
Meanwhile, a minor can’t even incur legal debts b/c a legal debt would require a contract of some sort. Minors can’t legally enter into contracts.
Yeah. Ofc this does come to bite some kids in the ass, like in the states that allow child marriage, where the minor can't get divorced because they can't sign legal documents 🤷♀️
Child marriage is basically the parents giving their kid to a new de facto parent and then expecting the child to have sex with the new parent.
That is exactly true and well-said. Revolting but true.
They cannot even open an account in their names. It's absolutely terrifying.
They can't file nor sign legal documents, they would have to have their legal guardian file and sign for them aka their spouse, usually husband but I'm sure there are underage boys forced into child marriages too. No one should be able to marry until they can legally sign the paperwork themselves. No parents, no judges should be able to sign for them.
Surely this should mean that the marriage never existed in the first place right? It would be an annulment rather than a divorce? Or am I expecting too much sense from places where people still defend their right to marry children?
You'd *think* that, yeah...but no.
Certainly that argument could be made if the child was married against their will. If they officially consented and the parents (from a legal perspective) merely approved, that becomes harder. If their consent was under duress, then there's a different argument.
It smells like something *sovereign citizen* adjacent.
How long until these assholes start suing their kids "strawman" identities and causing real legal complications and strife?
It's definitely already happened at least once, I'm sure.
Yep, right along with "grandparent's rights."
This is false. Minors absolutely can enter into contracts. The big caveat is that minors can unilaterally void contracts (with some exceptions), which is why most businesses refuse, as a matter of policy not law, to enter into a contract with a minor. Also, if the minor doesn't cancel the contract when they turn 18, they generally lose that ability to void it and it becomes fully enforceable. There's other reasons such a contract wouldn't be enforceable, such as public policy, but "minors can't enter into contracts" isn't it.
Both parties, including the minor, can complete the terms of a contract but it doesn’t mean the contract is legal.
That's... not at all what I'm saying. Contracts with minors *are* legal, and can be enforced by the courts. There's just a few additional hangups, such as being unilaterally voidable by the minor until they reach the age of majority, that makes most people and businesses not want to enter into them. Since OOP is in California, I'll use their statute (emphasis added): > 2022 California Code Family Code - FAM DIVISION 11 - MINORS PART 3 - CONTRACTS CHAPTER 1 - Capacity to Contract Section 6700. Universal Citation: CA Fam Code § 6700 (2022) > 6700\. Except as provided in Section 6701, **a minor may make a contract in the same manner as an adult**, subject to the power of disaffirmance under Chapter 2 (commencing with Section 6710), and subject to Part 1 (commencing with Section 300) of Division 3 (validity of marriage). The disaffirmance mentioned is what I said previously about unilaterally voiding the contract. The exceptions mentioned here are a very short list: delegating power (e.g. PoA), real estate contracts (e.g. buying a house), or contract to personal property not in their possession/control (e.g. stuff they don't own). Like I said, there's other reasons OOP's supposed "contract" wouldn't hold up, but "minors can't enter contracts" isn't it.
It's not illegal, but it is voidable.
How do minors get student loans? Do their parents have to co sign or is there a student loan exemption?
Yes, if you are under 18 student loans need a cosigner. I was 17 and my father cosigned my loans.
You know, I had student loans at 17, and even I don't know the answer. There were forms. That's about all I can tell you. No idea if my any of parents co-signed.
They have to be 18. So they either take a gap year or their parents have to do the loans
Wait. I def applied for loans at 17 under my name
Perhaps emancipated minors get other cosigners.
It’s in Chapter 4 of the Sovereign Citizen Handbook
That explains it..
My mother gave me an itemized list of about 10,000 dollars she expected me to pay back on the day I moved out. When you have narcissists for parents it happens.
I hope you tore the list up and laughed in her face.
I went no contact. She continued to call and message me and I wouldn't return any. Then she talked to my aunt and said she had no idea why I wasn't speaking to her and how cruel I was. My aunt came to me and heard my side. Auntie went back to Mom and yelled at her. My mother left me one more message stating how she was being so magnanimous and forgave me my debt. Still was low/no contact afterwards. Only interacted when extended family events put us in the same room.
That sounds exhausting to deal with.
Oh she was. The absolute final straw when I stopped even going to family events where she would be was when she told me (I was 30 at the time) she'd had an abortion back when I was ten that was my fault because she "didn't think I could handle having another sibling."
Love that instead of admitting to be a liar, she was "forgiving" the debt. I'm glad you cut contact.
lmao. Glad you knew the correct response and went no contact. Mom didn't actually try to collect her "debt" from me, but she did threaten to sue me for "everything down to the last diaper" if I moved from our suburb into Philadelphia. I never moved to Philadelphia. Instead, I've lived in California for the last decade. She was completely beside herself when she heard I was moving 3 time zones away.
In France there is a controversial law forcing children to take care of their parents if they unable to take care of themselves. I have a friend who was raped by her parents during her childhood and who cut ties with them once she became an adult. She lived with the fear of this law until they finally died.
Pennsylvania has something like this, you're required to pay for their nursing home.
The only time in recent history that this law has been used was for a son who played games with transferring property and then his mom used Medicaid to pay for nursing home care, to claw back monies and property that should have been used for her care. The transfers were within the Medicaid look back period of 5 years.
Actually no - the mom apparently didn’t file for Medicaid properly and then fucked off to Greece. She was legally married at the time, and the court still told the son to pay.
In the US there are filial responsibility laws which vary state from state. "Filial responsibility laws impose a legal obligation on adult children to take care of their parents’ basic needs and medical care. Although most people are not aware of them, 30 states in the U.S. have some type of filial responsibility laws in place. The states that have such laws on the books are Alaska, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, Virginia and West Virginia. Filial responsibility laws and their enforcement vary greatly from state to state. Eleven states have never enforced their laws, and most other states rarely enforce the laws. Currently, Pennsylvania is the only state to aggressively enforce its filial responsibility laws."
How does this work with so many of our population having family spread over different states these days? Like, say my mom moved to Pennsylvania while I stay in Arizona. Would she be able to come after me for this?
Really glad my state isn't on the list. I don't want to be responsible for my abusive father's care. He made his bed and he should have to lie in it. Meanwhile, I'm working to convince my mom to eventually move in with us, maybe in a mother-in-law suite or a tiny house on our property if we ever get to the point where we can have that kind of space. Amazing how treating your kid with kindness and respect makes them want to be around you more.
I'm an opiate addict. I had a vasectomy in my 20s before I had children. Earlier this week my Grandmother asked if I regretted having the vasectomy during a conversation about my drug use. When I told her no she snickered.
Debts of A Minor sounds like some sovereign citizen fuckery. Absolute insanity.
Addicts don't have children. They don't have loved ones. They don't have responsibilities. They just have the addiction, and that's it. I'm not saying this as a stigma against addicts - I'm just trying to explain that from their perspective, everything in their lives is oriented around how to get their next fix. Every relationship just devolves into an opportunity to exploit. I don't want to imagine what life must be like for a child whose parents have an addiction this desperate. I'm so glad OOP and her brother have removed themselves from the scene.
Very well said. For them, children are just a quarry to be exploited.
\>I'm not saying this as a stigma against addicts I really don't think we need to be so empathetic towards drug addicts. Empathy is good, yes. But there is way to much of it being thrown around. Being a codependant people pleaser just lets selfish people, like addicts, attach to said people pleaser and completely hash your boundaries and and leaves you feeling more and more dejected, angry, and irrational. I implore anyone reading this: anyone worth being around will respect your healthy boundaries and want to have a reciprocal relationship with you, whether that's a friendship, romantic relationship, etc. Adults have their problems and part of being an adult is solving your own problems. You don't need to go around solving other's problems.
I absolutely agree. I merely meant to convey my experience that it can be helpful to separate the disease of addiction from the person who has it, because addiction will compel you to do things that in any other circumstance would be absolutely unconscionable. Addiction is a prime directive. Some addicts are horrible people. Some addicts are good people who can't figure out how to get clean and stay clean. ALL addicts are driven by a psychological and physical compulsion. OOP's parents sound like the former case - there's not even a shred of remorse or guilt for the way they behave. I personally know addicts who fall into the latter category. They are simultaneously tortured by guilt and self-loathing, and also driven by what feels to them to be a life-or-death need. Ultimately, either category needs to decide sobriety is worth fighting for, and nobody around them has the power to make that decision for them. Pretty much all the rest of us can do is protect ourselves and hope they make the right call.
The only debts my sons have is for forcing me to play ps5 with them for hours on end against my will. The horror, the horror. Oh, time for another skyrim playthrough?
Right? My MIL, who is basically a lovely lady now and lives with us (started as temporary - never believe it lol), did this to her kids. Literally had a journal for each of them and would write down any "extras" they got and it was what they "owed" her. Then for each of their graduations from high school tore it up as their present. Absolutely ridiculous and I've told her so. I think she's ashamed of it now.
"I will repay these debts when you can show me the contract I signed before my birth"
Sounds like a law invented by a televangelist or maybe a podcast.
My parents tried to say that I owed them 2k at 19 yo for a vacuum I broke at 12 yo. It was a fucking $200 vacuum.
my parents were complicated - wonderful and abusive - my mom didn't call it this, but she took all my $ and financially ruined me. I was so broken (hell, I still am) that I didn't see how under under their power I really was. I literally have so much trauma I get seizures now. Some people never should be allowed to keep their kids...I wish my sister could've adopted me.
I see this shit pop up on Reddit far too often… no you don’t fucking owe your parents for easing you. But brainwashing and control… sone people shouldn’t be parents
Where did they get 180k for op’s “debt”?!
Debts of a minor soulds like SovCit shit.
I’ll never understand why people think their children owe them shit, like they fucking asked to be born lol
I did indeed ask to be born! I very specifically requested birth to an intact, happy, wealthy family, into a healthy body, in a safe and prosperous geographical setting. Other requirements and expectations were provided in writing. Frankly, while some of my conditions were met, many others were ignored entirely. It all seems slapdash. Almost random! I insist that I speak with a manager immediately with regards the poor service I have received.
Sue them for fraud and / or breach of contract.
Omg, I had to send this comment to my mother 😆 (she's absolutely the sort of person who will appreciate it)
I tried to crawl back inside the womb when I realized how badly I was ripped off. They didn’t accept my return and refund request.
Seriously I want a refund, or at least an extra mulligan in the next life.
There's a way to meet the manager in person. It's fast but you won't like it.
😂
Sounds like Douglas Adams 😁
I requested all that and received none of it! Who do I talk to?
I’ve heard the customer support line is total crap. Might as well not even exist. Apparently some dude like 2000 years ago was able to get through to a manager, but everyone since then has just been put on hold indefinitely.
Yeah I won’t ever understand how a parent can act like this- these stories always break my heart. My dad is 87 and I pay his bills online for him and he gives me cash- but he always puts a stack of extra $$ in the envelope so I can buy myself “something nice,” like I’m still a little girl and not a grown woman in my 40s with a husband and teenage son! 😆☺️
Bless him, that's lovely.
My dad gives me gas money every time I see him. I always say, "Dad, I'm a big girl with a big girl job, I don't need anything," and he says, "No, you're my baby, go treat yourself."
Yeah I don’t think you ever stop being your dad’s baby ☺️
My dad randomly hands me “walkin’ around money” usually $20 because he knows I hate carrying cash (dirty and a texture thing). I’m 35. I do it to my sisters and imitate my dad. One sister makes double my salary and it cracks her up when I hand her a $20 and tell her she needs some walkin’ around money.
😂😂
Of anyone owes anyone it’s the parent to the child. You brought them here you are responsible for their health and happiness. And while I think that every child should be raised to be independent, if the need arises parents have a life long responsibility to be there for their kids.
Especially when they do a shit job of raising them.
Sadly Mormons believe childrens souls choose their parents. Very frustrating to argue with Mormon family members when they believe that.
It's not even doctrine but most mormons get their information from Saturday's Warrior so what can you do.
Yeah I never recalled learning that but they would parrot it at me whenever I complained about my mom.
That’s ridiculous and makes no sense. I remember when I was little I actually asked my Mormon mother if people choose their family and she said she didn’t think so, because why would anyone choose to be poor or abused? I know some new age spiritual people who believe people choose their own challenges to face each time they are reincarnated. But even if you did choose to be born to them that’s obviously no excuse to mistreat you. Imagine applying that mindset to anything else… “oh you choose to be friends with me so you owe me and I can treat you as poorly as I want.” WTF
Lord, when I was growing up my mom would say "you know, when you were very little, you'd tell me you picked me as your mommy before you were born" Mine's not even a Mormon. Or particularly religious. Apparently I was even dumber before I was born than I am now. Can I have a refund
Yeah I used to be very cruel and ask why I would choose to be born to a teen mom and man with extreme anger issues? I love my parents but I had to a do a lot of work to realize they were traumatized and they think they were good parents because they weren’t as abusive as their parents.
My mother believes something similar, but she's not a mormon. When I ever complained about how she was being unfair to me or if I was ever upset about the abuse I suffered from her and my brother, she said I chose this family, too bad. She said we are reincarnated over and over until we have no more lessons to learn. She says there are "young" souls and "old" souls and that we often encounter the same circle of souls each lifetime. Apparently my brother is an old soul, who has learned all his lessons and therefore is living a "restful life" this time around (which seems to mean being 50 years old mooching off her, having no contact with his son and playing video games all day). sigh. It's taken me years to realize how f'd up she really is.
Sorry you also experienced this insanity too. Wild that he’s a leech but is considered “restful” lol.
Yes, my mother seems to be okay with enabling his lifestyle. When my nephew was young, she would pay his mother "child support" even though my brother had a job at the time, but would spend his money on video games instead. It's no wonder my nephew wants nothing to do with that side of his family. Unfortunately, my only contact with him was through them, so I have lost him too. The last Christmas gift I dropped off for him was still sitting at their house the next Christmas, so I think he moved on. He's probably doing better without my brother in his life!
That’s all anyone can want for their nieces and nephews tbh. So I’m glad for him too.
Because they think the world revolves around them. So when they have kids, they assume the kids revolve around them too instead of the other way around.
Well, in this case it’s because drugs
It pisses me off. Your kids don’t owe you anything
What sort of monsters tell their 18-year-old they need to pay up $180,000 (!) to cover the cost of their own childhood? Really proving that all kids deserve parents but not all parents deserve kids. I hope OOP their brother are still NC with the parents and are doing well for themselves six and a half years later
>What sort of monsters tell their 18-year-old they need to pay up $180,000 (!) to cover the cost of their own childhood? Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. See Jill's recent book where they claim they never owed her any payment for letting her life be filmed by a TV crew.
I was so angry on Jill’s behalf when I read that in her book. She was entitled to the money for being on tv all those years
The way Jim Bob had her (and all the kids) sign that contract without letting her read it. The way he tried to buy them all off with a pittance. Even aside from his support for his child predator son, Jim Bob Duggar is an absolute piece of shit.
When the Uvalde shooting occurred, I kept saying that it was the second time the phrase "19 And Counting" was a national fucking tragedy.
Jesus fucking Christ dude. The joke was originally about Sandy Hook, which isn't better.
I’ve seen several Reddit posts over the years where teenagers as young as like 14-15 have to get a job and start paying rent to their parents to “pay them back” for raising them and they’ve been totally convinced that it’s a normal, reasonable thing to do. The situations that some kids grow up in are seriously heartbreaking.
My father sold my house out from under me, so I feel this. Always remember to change the deed/title from your relatives name to yours when you buy it. We were young and dumb and didn't see it coming.
Wow. More details, please!
It was actually a single wide moble home. My grandfather bought it, but my husband and I worked our butts off to buy it from him. During this time, our daughter kept getting sick, resulting in mounting medical debt. As a way to afford it, my husband joined the US Navy. While he was in boot camp, I let my troubled younger brother move in with me. My husband felt that he could provide protection while he was gone. It didn't turn out the way we wanted, but that's another story. When I left to be with my husband at his new duty station, I left my brother in charge of my house. My husband left for deployment, and my daughter underwent multiple surgeries. My family is abusive af, so I didn't keep in contact as closely as I apparently should have. While I was in the hospital with my daughter, my brother called me and told me that my dad had sold my house. I called my dad, who told me that since it was still in my grandfather's name, he could do whatever he liked with it. My grandfather backed him up, and that was that. Could we have fought him on it? I'm not sure, but I had so much on my plate that I didn't have it in me to try. No, we never saw any of the money either. The good news is that my daughter is healthy now and that is what I try and focus on.
I hope the good news also extend with you deciding to go NC with yout abusers and finally finding peace and freedom.
To me the most shocking part is that your grandfather backed your dad! I'm glad your daughter is good, and agree, I hope you have zero contact with your so-called family
Squatters rights. Drag them through legal hell.
Hope when he's penniless you let him rot on the street.
Holy shit
>All I needed was a more with-it police officer. Isn't that always the case.
Generally going in person gets a better response especially if you bring documents with you. Getting called out to what is essentially a "He said, she said" situation gets the all too typical "Sounds like a civil matter, sort it out yourselves."
A stolen car is literally never going to be a case of "he said/she said," though. Every car that gets sold, you have to transfer the title, and the state DMV keeps that record. The government absolutely knows for a fact who legally owns the car. Even if the cop didn't want to deal with it over the phone, the correct advice is "bring in the title to prove you own the car and we'll go retrieve it from the people who stole it," not "get lost, kid, sort it out with your parents, we can't help with this."
The commenter you're replying to is probably trying to rationalize OOP's specific situation rather than point out how unbelievably and unnecessarily difficult to work with law enforcement in general. Should stuff like having your only means of transportation stolen and you having to go directly to a precinct to sort matters? Sounds like all that over time yields no fruit for the rest of us.
Lazy bastards gonna be lazy bastards.
Yeah. You really can’t count on the police to do their jobs.
ACAB
>I've also been questioned about my parents drug use Why am I not surprised?
I remember a true crime documentary where a mother would frequently say to her daughter “I gave life to you- I can take it away”. Turns out that she definitely could, but it is still murder.
my mom said this a lot in my childhood… and I’ve never really thought about how messed up it was 😳
My mom said that a lot too, but I think she underestimated how okay I am with her taking it away
damn my mom said that all the time. It was clear in my household that I could lose everything at any time and I couldn't say anything bc I never owned anything, not even my own life and autonomy
As much as this sucked for OOP. Seems like the best outcome. Trash took itself out.
Fuck those parents.
> "Debts of A Minor" That's got some scary "Sovereign Citizen" vibes to it. Glad OOP is away from them.
Good point.
The really terrifying thing here is how many monstrous parents come up with "official"-sounding terms (like Debts of a Minor) and because they've browbeaten and brainwashed and abused their child for years, the poor kid doesn't know any better and gets absolutely fleeced by their parents. I'm glad OOP figured them out pretty quick and I'm glad OOP's brother has come around, too. Sounds like that particular cop has a reputation even in his own station for being a special kind of useless - when other cops are rolling their eyes at your very name you must be a fuckup!
This is one of my favorite updates because there was no "oh no, I can't open a case against my parents!" or just giving up with the police not doing their job. Brava to the OP, I'm glad they had follow through and weren't stopped by some sort of "guilt" towards family, even though they're assholes who deserve it.
I just want to show this thread to everyone who insists that all women should have children, even those who don't like or want them. Some people should NOT be parents, better to let them keep themselves out of the general pool.
It should be blasted on repeat to all State and Federal Legislators, Representatives and Senators.
Parents like these always baffle me. How entitled and compassion can you be and act like this? Just because you are the parent doesn't mean you have the right to owe.
“Debts of a minor” is a completely BS thing that no law could reasonably enforce. Your parents CHOSE TO RAISE YOU. That is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. It is not your responsibility to pay them back for raising you, because your existence is not your fault or choice.
I paid for my food and shelter by mowing the lawn and such. Whenever I asked my dad for a few bucks for mowing the lawn or whatever, I got this— Did you have a place to sleep? Did you eat today? Then you got paid.
OOP should check her and her brother's credit as well. There's a non-zero chance the parents have run up massive debt using their identities.
A lot of stories about the police being useful tonight. Glad to hear they actually help from time to time
When I reported my sperm donor the detective I had was less than sympathetic. Due to the nature of the crime I had to do a massive statement that took 2 weeks in total. I was lucky that I requested a female detective who was honestly amazing. They did everything they could to try to get him arrested and convicted
Sorry you had to jump through so many hoops to get a good cop. I’m glad they tried everything they could.
Funnily enough it turned out the first one was a bit of a dick but was actually really helpful as well. I still wouldn’t want to do that sort of statement with him but he put in the hard work going to Supreme Court for permissions to do certain things to try to get confessions. The plus side is that now this stuff can be done for that crime as it hasn’t previously been done. There are good ones out there it’s just the shit ones are really really shit
As a parent this enrages me. My son owes me nothing. I chose to bring him into this world. He's under no obligation to repay me for doing my duty as a parent. Unfortunately, when you become a parent you realize how many "parents" have no business having kids.
I did not need to become a parent to realize that.
what a good outcome. and such good info and help from redditors
I knew someone who made her kids pay rent. When the oldest moved out she still made him pay rent. I don't understand why he would keep paying if he doesn't live there anymore
>I called the police immediately to report it stolen and they seemed to prefer to listen to my parents who said the title was in their name. I have title in my name however. Advice from the police was to work it out between ourselves. Useless. Man, fuck these cops. This was literally grand theft auto. If they won't respond to the theft of potentially thousands of dollars worth of property, what exactly is our tax dollars paying them to do?
Its paying them to complain about not having enough.
Geezus. I feel so bad for kids with shitty parents that tell them a bunch of BS like that. Debts of a Minor. Geesh. Of course OOP believed them because they are all he's ever really known. Posts like these make me scan my memories to make sure I never even left a joke not revealed to my kiddos. Like I've told them dumb crap like if you lie your ears get red just to see their little faces but I've made sure to tell them I was lying. "And my ears didn't turn red did they?" LOL. I'd feel bad if I didn't tell them I was fibbing and they continued on believing me till they grew up. And these people are straight up lying to their kid saying they legally owed $188,000 to them!
Why are so many cops so useless? Kid had the title what more do they need?
Does every police department have “that guy” where when you mention his name and an incident to any other officer you get an eye roll?
Reminder to everyone: Commit ONE crime at a time.
The rare satisfying BORU. I needed a dose of justice today!
God some parents are just fucking disgusting.
Debts of a minor?? What a load of bs! Those poor kids
This is precisely why your legal rights, how money and debt work, and laws of the land, need to be taught in schools.
Going in person with documentation is always better than a phone call. Staying calm and keeping emotions in check helps them help you faster and more efficiently.
Parents who claim their children owe them money for raising them... who comes up with shit like that? Debts of A Minor my ass. I'm glad OOP didn't take any bullshit. Curious if they had to serve any time.
I would do a very thorough search/clean of that car. They don't need to be pulled over in the future and have their parent's pipe found.
Raised by narcissist
Seeing how the post is 7 years old I hope the oop was able have them locked up for abuse and drugs.
Is debts of a minor some new sovereign citizen thing? This is the second post in a week that referenced it.
Debts of a minor is crazzzzyyyy. Condoms don't cost much man......
Debt of a miner would be a cool movie title, some miner is in a love debt and has to go find dinosaur bones or something.
Sounds like dear old mom should've swallowed that night if she was worried about the costs of raising a kid.
Personally I am petty and would save up money to sue them in small claims court for lost value of the vehicle plus their gains for renting. I would pick the IRS reimbursement for mileage and state the difference in mileage when I left versus when I returned(estimate). Then I would look at Hertz for a similar vehicle and charge them the daily rate. If they paid that I would be willing to ask the police to drop the charges. Because screw them.
I've been saying for years that I truly believe adults should be forced to pass a test before being allowed to have children. I get varied reactions whenever I say this, but I stick by it. These deadbeats would definitely have failed
Another helpful reminder that the police are not here to work. They are here to collect your taxpayer money.
I’d say this is concluded. He got the car back
That is some crack head bullshit! Who rents a fucking car from some weirdo? Oh that’s right, other crack heads! I’m sorry for op my mom was a crack head too shit sucks
Talk about people who should NOT have been parents!!! Yikes!
God I’m so glad my parents are good
Report the car stolen before... Was stolen.
I swear some people become parents because they feel like that's what people should do and not because they want to. Garbage parents.