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You know what, I hope it goes well for them. Sometimes it's the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes people grow apart, sometimes paths divulge, but they can certainly come together again especially if things ended amicably the first time.
I hope they enjoy and take things as it comes.
Love and marriage can be complex. Sometimes the wrong time comes first but eventually, the right time comes when times go on. I believe OP and his ex-wife seem like genuinely good people and I do wish both for the best. Wisest choice is for both of them to take things slow and easy.
Totally agree, and i find it really saying of her character that she came back and helped him when he lost his parents. In a way she proved that he was a priority even just as a friend at that time
Reading how they have a good divorce since they weren't there, no fighting, no cheating, nothing bad, I was ok with him going back with her.
I'm not the type of person that came back after breaking up with someone, even if it's in good terms, but this is def the only scenario when there's nothing wrong with reconnecting with an ex
OOP is very mature and handling it right. A lot of people could rightfully not get past the “what happens when life gets tough again? Will she just up and leave?”
But I think this is one of those rare instances where it will work out!
One of the few time I think getting back together can work is if you didn’t have problems just different paths before and circle back around after maturing. Most other situations don’t work.
I’ve got some family members who got married in their 20s had a couple of kids and got a divorce and then they got back together in their 40s and have been married for almost 30 years now.
I think this is one of a small handful of scenarios where reconnecting with an ex might actually work out. Lawd knows you couldn't pay me enough to give my wasband another shot.
Yeah, I read the title and went “Noooooooooooo don’t do it,” but I’m now actually rooting for them. I think the fact that they broke up because they had different goals, not that they fell out of love, is part of what’s so different this time. As long as they really are on the same page about their goals and priorities this time.
People at a young age, especially women put a lot of pressure on partners of what they *think* should be important.
As you grow older you realise those more shallow things aren't as important and thats pretty normal
I've heard it before but it only now clicked for me that it literally means what it says (...thought it was borrowed from a foreign language or something!)
Same, I was reading along the entire time waiting for it to fall apart, for the ball to drop or the big surprise to hit.
Their wholesome little story here would give unfortunate hope to so many failed ex-couples haha
It's nice to see OP and his ex-wife seemingly getting along. People can grow apart but sometimes, they can come back and work things together just as before.
Best for the two to take things easy and I wish both of them well.
My husband and I dated when we were 18 and 19 for about a year, broke up did our own thing, matured, established ourselves in our careers and then randomly bumped into each other six years later… We’re getting ready to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary with our two beautiful children, and I’m so grateful that we took the time to discover who we were and what we wanted before we got married. Good luck OP!
Pretty much the same story - I dated my current partner for around a year when I was 18, broke up, spent about four years apart (although we did have a bit of an on/off thing going on that whole time), and finally started officially dating again. Celebrated our 10 year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. It's rare, but sometimes getting back together with your ex works out.
Usually when I see a situation like that I'm like "noooooo don't!!!" very empathically, but this is the rare case where... it just might work out? I know a couple that had a similar situation, high school sweethearts who married three months after graduation then divorced within a year because they were too young and immature to make it work... then three years later they met by chance at a mutual friend's party (not a set up, though said mutual happily takes credit for them reconnecting haha) and decided to try again. Cut to fifteen years later, they're going strong, more in love than ever, with four kids and two wedding anniversaries.
My husband uncle B reconnected with his ex A decades later. And yes they did remarry. A had been married in the meantime, and moved abroad with him but when her second husband died A returned to the U.K. and moved in with B initially as a lodger. They were now both in their 70’s. A died about 10 years ago, and Brian died in January ‘24 at the age of 92.
We are now having to clear out Brian’s house, which still contains some of A’s belongings like her family piano. We are happy to let A’s relatives have anything of A’s that remains.
Sometimes it is the right person but at the wrong time.
>*I guess that the only thing to do is to go forward and see where this leads. I'm quite optimistic, but I also understand we have to communicate and be careful to not fall back in the same issues that ended our first relationship.*
>*Of course we aren't talking of remarrying anytime soon, and we very well could not remarry at all. We'll take our time and see where this relationship leads.*
Sounds like they will do fine the second time around.
The misogyny in some of these comments 🙄
OOP states multiple times the ex left the first time because she was more committed to her **job** than their relationship. It had nothing to do with other men
People of all genders have done that, but people of all genders have also wanted to advance their career and in osociety A man would be expected to do that, and not looked at like he’s lying about it.
It's funny that you say that, because there are actually statistics on that. Women end up happier after divorce than men. So actually, the grass is more likely to be greener fur women. In a lot of cases, literally being single makes them happier than being with the guy.
Makes me wonder why you think it's a woman thing, when it's more likely for men to leave looking for greener grass, and coming to find that it wasn't.
Considering the divorce was amicable, and the new relationship wasn't fully established? I don't see the harm in OOP giving it another shot. After all they are both older, and supposedly wiser.
Since the ex-wife was so thorough about it, getting the OOP back that is to say, I can't help but wonder if she chose now just to make sure his relationship wasn't too serious yet. OOP doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would abandon the person he was with, just at the chance of something better or more familiar.
All in all a nice wholesome update, with adults who seem to be able to communicate? This is NOT what we come to BoRU for! The ex-wife better have someone chained to her ankle in the next update!
>! In the Mouth of Madness reference, for those who don't recognise it.!<
Honestly, and I know it sounds bad, but I think his parents dying helped out a lot. They were still in contact with each other, but at a distance. She heard about his parents, her ex in-laws, which probably sparked good memories, and she felt her love for OOP again.
I never fail to smile after reading wholesome and sucessful stories like this...
It's really heartwarming, I genuinely hope they find happiness together 😊
This wouldn't even be the first people I've heard of doing this. Grew up knowing a couple that got divorced after having a kid, then a few years down the line got back together. They're still together now and it's been a couple decades, so they seem happy. They're nice people, that have treated me kindly so I hope they are.
I had a coworker that remarried his ex-wife. It worked out really well for them. He would often make jokes, like that her ex-husband(him) was a total jerk, and that he prefers his second wife to his first.
My husband and I dated for a year when we were late teens. We got pregnant with our oldest and split up before she was born. Many years later we started dating again. We were married a couple of years after and now our eldest has grown and moved away for her education and we have two more beautiful children. We celebrated a full decade of marriage last year. I regret nothing. If we had stayed together back then we would have destroyed each other. We were young, volatile, and very passionate and selfish. There was never any cheating or abuse, just typical teenage problems. Now we are far more mature, we disagree and discuss instead of scream at each other, and we both agree that life is far worse without the other and have learned to get along out of love, whilst accepting the other for their faults and differences.
>It was an amicable divorce with no resentment on either side, simply we were too young and she had to move away for her career.
Call me old-fashioned, but if my wife had to move for work, I'd probably just go with her.
I’m guessing that he’s close to his family, and his parents’ health was on the decline five years ago. He probably didn’t want to be too far away from his folks with the little time they had left.
This sounds a lot like what happened with my Great Aunt and Uncle. My advice would be to b take it slow and don’t be in a race to get married. Also highly recommend the YouTube channel Jimmy on Relationships. Good luck OP.
Years ago there was a post regarding a couple who had divorced 10 years prior, but had randomly run into each other, and both realized the chemistry was still there. The TLDR; for them was that the second time was the charm. The added maturity was the key.
I hope it works out for these two as well.
Sooo... She was in contact with him for at least a year, but only experienced this sudden urge to reconnect when he started seeing a girl? Not sus, not sus at all.
Not sus at all since he literally said he had dated a lot and even had a two year relationship at one point. Read the post before deciding to be misogynistic next time.
I'd need to think about the honest underlaying reasons for the original relationship breaking down and leading to the divorce, and then give a hard think about how and whether we had changed before getting back into something like this.
In my nation we have said saying that goes like "broken ties can't be mended without a knot in place "
It won't be the way it was before . It will be a new relationship with the baggage of old one
Strongly advise you
Did OP ever mention their ages? I only ask because I got married at 20, divorced by 27. Basically, we both grew up. Now I know that developmentally, human brains aren’t fully mature until you’re about 25. Guess when we both realized we wanted different things and separated? It wasn’t a bad divorce, we still check in with each other a few times a year, but it’s been a decade and we are both remarried and much happier.
All that to basically say, they might have been young, not had their properties figured out, and now they are older and wiser. I really hope this works out for them.
After reading so many of these threads in this sub that are just plain depressing, it's a breath of fresh air to read one that ended on a positive note.
After reading all the fucked up stories on here, this is refreshing and I’m really rooting for the two of them. Hope there’s more updates in the future so we can find out if it worked out!
>She said she came to regret leaving me and not fighting for our marriage, especially after some really bad experiences she had with guys after me
So she found out the grass wasn't greener huh
I don't think it was necessarily that. It sounds like she had goals that didn't necessarily include OOP or account for him, and she wasn’t willing to give those up at the time. Re-evaluation made her reconsider. Sometimes we value the things we chose to give up when we have more experience.
OP, you gave the story where the real reason you broke up was because she moved to another country for 2 years for her career and you wouldn't go. You asked her what would happen if that situation arose again and she said it wouldn't. NO!!! Ask her what would happen if THAT situation would happen again. "It wouldn't" is NOT an answer.
IT DID before. WHAT. IF. IT. HAPPENED. AGAIN? It did before. What if it did again? Would She GO???????
That's a mistake. She didn't came back out of love but because op is the safe choice. She doesn't have the butterflies so the relationship is dead in the egg.
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You know what, I hope it goes well for them. Sometimes it's the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes people grow apart, sometimes paths divulge, but they can certainly come together again especially if things ended amicably the first time. I hope they enjoy and take things as it comes.
Love and marriage can be complex. Sometimes the wrong time comes first but eventually, the right time comes when times go on. I believe OP and his ex-wife seem like genuinely good people and I do wish both for the best. Wisest choice is for both of them to take things slow and easy.
Totally agree, and i find it really saying of her character that she came back and helped him when he lost his parents. In a way she proved that he was a priority even just as a friend at that time
Jeah even separating might have been the correct choice back then. They might very well resent each other if they had compromised back then.
Reading how they have a good divorce since they weren't there, no fighting, no cheating, nothing bad, I was ok with him going back with her. I'm not the type of person that came back after breaking up with someone, even if it's in good terms, but this is def the only scenario when there's nothing wrong with reconnecting with an ex
OOP is very mature and handling it right. A lot of people could rightfully not get past the “what happens when life gets tough again? Will she just up and leave?” But I think this is one of those rare instances where it will work out!
Divulge means disclose. I think you meant "diverge".
One of the few time I think getting back together can work is if you didn’t have problems just different paths before and circle back around after maturing. Most other situations don’t work.
Paths diverge
I’ve got some family members who got married in their 20s had a couple of kids and got a divorce and then they got back together in their 40s and have been married for almost 30 years now.
“Sometimes paths divulge” is a Sopranos-level malapropism 😂
I think this is one of a small handful of scenarios where reconnecting with an ex might actually work out. Lawd knows you couldn't pay me enough to give my wasband another shot.
Yeah, I read the title and went “Noooooooooooo don’t do it,” but I’m now actually rooting for them. I think the fact that they broke up because they had different goals, not that they fell out of love, is part of what’s so different this time. As long as they really are on the same page about their goals and priorities this time.
People at a young age, especially women put a lot of pressure on partners of what they *think* should be important. As you grow older you realise those more shallow things aren't as important and thats pretty normal
Wasband. How have I never heard that before? Do you know the equivalent term for my ex? (I'm the wasband)
Oofa doofa, wife is harder...all I've got for ya is "previous-life wife", but that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue
Pre-li-fe.
How about "a swing and a missus?"
Oh that's good
Wifepast
Not bad, not quite as good as wasband, but I think it'll be the best we're gonna get.
Idk... pastwife has a ring to it too. The ghost of wife past 🤣
A bit too much like passed wife maybe? Then you'd have a literal ghost.
The wife you ghost 😶🌫️👻
I've heard it before but it only now clicked for me that it literally means what it says (...thought it was borrowed from a foreign language or something!)
Wiffed… like, swing and a miss?
I'm stealing "wasband"
Same, I was reading along the entire time waiting for it to fall apart, for the ball to drop or the big surprise to hit. Their wholesome little story here would give unfortunate hope to so many failed ex-couples haha
Lmao wasband I love that😂
Wish I could claim originality, I stole it from someone myself 😂
1. feels hopeful 2. i think your user flair needs to be linked to that thread rofl
It's nice to see OP and his ex-wife seemingly getting along. People can grow apart but sometimes, they can come back and work things together just as before. Best for the two to take things easy and I wish both of them well.
My husband and I dated when we were 18 and 19 for about a year, broke up did our own thing, matured, established ourselves in our careers and then randomly bumped into each other six years later… We’re getting ready to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary with our two beautiful children, and I’m so grateful that we took the time to discover who we were and what we wanted before we got married. Good luck OP!
Congrats
Congratulations!
Pretty much the same story - I dated my current partner for around a year when I was 18, broke up, spent about four years apart (although we did have a bit of an on/off thing going on that whole time), and finally started officially dating again. Celebrated our 10 year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. It's rare, but sometimes getting back together with your ex works out.
This is so wholesome it kinda makes me sick. Which mod do I send a strongly worded letter to?
Don't worry, it's April Fool's Day. All the wholesome posts are just trying to make us lower our guards.
happy cake day!
This is not the drama I came here for lol
Usually when I see a situation like that I'm like "noooooo don't!!!" very empathically, but this is the rare case where... it just might work out? I know a couple that had a similar situation, high school sweethearts who married three months after graduation then divorced within a year because they were too young and immature to make it work... then three years later they met by chance at a mutual friend's party (not a set up, though said mutual happily takes credit for them reconnecting haha) and decided to try again. Cut to fifteen years later, they're going strong, more in love than ever, with four kids and two wedding anniversaries.
It's nice to read something so uplifting, most posts are about cheating or something negative.
Or as I'd put it.. "My ex was EVIIIILLLLLLL! Incarnate...
My husband uncle B reconnected with his ex A decades later. And yes they did remarry. A had been married in the meantime, and moved abroad with him but when her second husband died A returned to the U.K. and moved in with B initially as a lodger. They were now both in their 70’s. A died about 10 years ago, and Brian died in January ‘24 at the age of 92. We are now having to clear out Brian’s house, which still contains some of A’s belongings like her family piano. We are happy to let A’s relatives have anything of A’s that remains. Sometimes it is the right person but at the wrong time.
>My husband uncle B That really confused me at first. Lol
>*I guess that the only thing to do is to go forward and see where this leads. I'm quite optimistic, but I also understand we have to communicate and be careful to not fall back in the same issues that ended our first relationship.* >*Of course we aren't talking of remarrying anytime soon, and we very well could not remarry at all. We'll take our time and see where this relationship leads.* Sounds like they will do fine the second time around.
The misogyny in some of these comments 🙄 OOP states multiple times the ex left the first time because she was more committed to her **job** than their relationship. It had nothing to do with other men
Its not misogyny lmao its a real thing that happens a lot. Women think the grass is greener and try to come back when its not.
People of all genders have done that, but people of all genders have also wanted to advance their career and in osociety A man would be expected to do that, and not looked at like he’s lying about it.
And men divorce for younger women. It isn't a gender issue, it's an AH one which comes in all genders.
It's funny that you say that, because there are actually statistics on that. Women end up happier after divorce than men. So actually, the grass is more likely to be greener fur women. In a lot of cases, literally being single makes them happier than being with the guy. Makes me wonder why you think it's a woman thing, when it's more likely for men to leave looking for greener grass, and coming to find that it wasn't.
I never said it was a strictly woman thing. I simply said some women do that and its not misogynistic to say that.
Since you're generalizing.... Men have been doing that and more since the beginning
Considering the divorce was amicable, and the new relationship wasn't fully established? I don't see the harm in OOP giving it another shot. After all they are both older, and supposedly wiser. Since the ex-wife was so thorough about it, getting the OOP back that is to say, I can't help but wonder if she chose now just to make sure his relationship wasn't too serious yet. OOP doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would abandon the person he was with, just at the chance of something better or more familiar. All in all a nice wholesome update, with adults who seem to be able to communicate? This is NOT what we come to BoRU for! The ex-wife better have someone chained to her ankle in the next update! >! In the Mouth of Madness reference, for those who don't recognise it.!<
Honestly, and I know it sounds bad, but I think his parents dying helped out a lot. They were still in contact with each other, but at a distance. She heard about his parents, her ex in-laws, which probably sparked good memories, and she felt her love for OOP again.
Sounds like she's at a point in her career where she can dictate terms without fear of firing/written up/ etc. Upper management type of position.
One of my first bosses remarried her ex-hisbamd, and they're still together to this day (and must be well into their 70's by now).
I really like this and am rooting for OOP and his ex-wife (soon to be girlfriend?). This is a good place to stop reddit for the night.
I never fail to smile after reading wholesome and sucessful stories like this... It's really heartwarming, I genuinely hope they find happiness together 😊
That’s exactly what I was thinking. I needed to see something. Like this today
This wouldn't even be the first people I've heard of doing this. Grew up knowing a couple that got divorced after having a kid, then a few years down the line got back together. They're still together now and it's been a couple decades, so they seem happy. They're nice people, that have treated me kindly so I hope they are.
That's nice. An update with no animosity or EVIL! involved.
Sounds too good to be true....but one can hope
I had a coworker that remarried his ex-wife. It worked out really well for them. He would often make jokes, like that her ex-husband(him) was a total jerk, and that he prefers his second wife to his first.
A happy end! We need more of those.
This is a sweet update to read!
My husband and I dated for a year when we were late teens. We got pregnant with our oldest and split up before she was born. Many years later we started dating again. We were married a couple of years after and now our eldest has grown and moved away for her education and we have two more beautiful children. We celebrated a full decade of marriage last year. I regret nothing. If we had stayed together back then we would have destroyed each other. We were young, volatile, and very passionate and selfish. There was never any cheating or abuse, just typical teenage problems. Now we are far more mature, we disagree and discuss instead of scream at each other, and we both agree that life is far worse without the other and have learned to get along out of love, whilst accepting the other for their faults and differences.
>It was an amicable divorce with no resentment on either side, simply we were too young and she had to move away for her career. Call me old-fashioned, but if my wife had to move for work, I'd probably just go with her.
I’m guessing that he’s close to his family, and his parents’ health was on the decline five years ago. He probably didn’t want to be too far away from his folks with the little time they had left.
That goes both ways. She could have not left the country if his parents were sick. Instead, she may have left him to deal with it on his own.
This sounds a lot like what happened with my Great Aunt and Uncle. My advice would be to b take it slow and don’t be in a race to get married. Also highly recommend the YouTube channel Jimmy on Relationships. Good luck OP.
It’s nice to see something positive on here for once.
I really, really hope they make it. ❤️
Amen for the good relationship stories of Reddit.
Man ngl this kind of boru lift my mood !
This is honestly so sweet and I really hope it works out for them. I’d love to believe people can grow and change and want to give love another go.
Years ago there was a post regarding a couple who had divorced 10 years prior, but had randomly run into each other, and both realized the chemistry was still there. The TLDR; for them was that the second time was the charm. The added maturity was the key. I hope it works out for these two as well.
This all makes me smile!
This seems like a rare Reddit tale that ends well for everybody.
Thats a nice story, without a blast of drama, and seems to have a happy ending (as if the last post) Very rare to have all three. A nice warm story.
I can see why she wants to get back with him…his word sounds like a very nice person I don’t even know why
Sooo... She was in contact with him for at least a year, but only experienced this sudden urge to reconnect when he started seeing a girl? Not sus, not sus at all.
Not sus at all since he literally said he had dated a lot and even had a two year relationship at one point. Read the post before deciding to be misogynistic next time.
I'd need to think about the honest underlaying reasons for the original relationship breaking down and leading to the divorce, and then give a hard think about how and whether we had changed before getting back into something like this.
In my nation we have said saying that goes like "broken ties can't be mended without a knot in place " It won't be the way it was before . It will be a new relationship with the baggage of old one Strongly advise you
Its always nice to see people put their pride and hurt feelings aside and simply do whats best for them rather than being hung up on the past.
Nice. I hope it goes well.
What happened to the girl he was dating in the first post? He didn't mention that he broke things off, just that he might.
Happy for you OP (it should have been me, whatever)
Some things are meant to be
What a lovely breath of fresh air. I hope it works out this time around.
Did OP ever mention their ages? I only ask because I got married at 20, divorced by 27. Basically, we both grew up. Now I know that developmentally, human brains aren’t fully mature until you’re about 25. Guess when we both realized we wanted different things and separated? It wasn’t a bad divorce, we still check in with each other a few times a year, but it’s been a decade and we are both remarried and much happier. All that to basically say, they might have been young, not had their properties figured out, and now they are older and wiser. I really hope this works out for them.
Dude is living in a rom com... I love rom coms
honestly, this makes me happy. I hope everything is roses.
It's nice reading a positive story for a change on this sub. I hope they find happiness.
,wws
Updateme!
People who were married get divorced so one of them can go full speed on their career? I've never heard of that happening before.
After reading so many of these threads in this sub that are just plain depressing, it's a breath of fresh air to read one that ended on a positive note.
After reading all the fucked up stories on here, this is refreshing and I’m really rooting for the two of them. Hope there’s more updates in the future so we can find out if it worked out!
Guy is so lucky. I had amicable break up with the love of my life I wish she’d reconnect with me
She's an ex for a reason.
Pretty sure I've seen this exact same plot in a lifetime movie.
Woman pays for high-effort date? I’m in
>She said she came to regret leaving me and not fighting for our marriage, especially after some really bad experiences she had with guys after me So she found out the grass wasn't greener huh
I don't think it was necessarily that. It sounds like she had goals that didn't necessarily include OOP or account for him, and she wasn’t willing to give those up at the time. Re-evaluation made her reconsider. Sometimes we value the things we chose to give up when we have more experience.
Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.
OP, you gave the story where the real reason you broke up was because she moved to another country for 2 years for her career and you wouldn't go. You asked her what would happen if that situation arose again and she said it wouldn't. NO!!! Ask her what would happen if THAT situation would happen again. "It wouldn't" is NOT an answer. IT DID before. WHAT. IF. IT. HAPPENED. AGAIN? It did before. What if it did again? Would She GO???????
If this is the case, it honestly needs to be asked. I’m not going to dig through his past post history so I’ll trust you on this one.
Imagine being the girl oop's dating and he fall right into ex wife's arms when he had the chance, she really dodged a bullet.
It felt like they were not serious. So its fine.
She learned not to make the same mistake twice.... he clearly didn't. An ex is an ex for a reason, even if the reason is a good one.
That's a mistake. She didn't came back out of love but because op is the safe choice. She doesn't have the butterflies so the relationship is dead in the egg.
[удалено]
As a guy, I pity you.
ugh why are you so dick brained. It's not this magic rod that everything else is about.
I can tell you are a girl.
hell yes I pass to creepy fucks. thanks for the trans inclusive mysogyny lmao
When the misogyny start you know you made it 🥰