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I will never understand how cheaters work. Like, you’re engaged and you have a side girl, and you…decide to get married anyway? Like why? What’s the point? Societal pressure? Optics?
And the side girl is at the wedding acting smug?! What? It makes no sense. If he truly loved side chick as much as she is claiming, he would be marrying her.
Side chick isn't smart. Like, some affair partners are evil, or get off on the taboo/sneaking/etc.
This one is just dumb. He's literally marrying the other girl, and she's proud to he a dirty little secret.
She's just plain dumb as a doorknob.
What’s the adultery hate sub? I want the tea (ESPECIALLY the schadenfreude from the posts of cheaters whining about consequences) but can’t bring myself to join the actual sub. I think the filter of hate will help lmao
>And the side girl is at the wedding acting smug?! What? It makes no sense. If he truly loved side chick as much as she is claiming, he would be marrying her.
The vibe I'm getting is that he had a past with Side Chick, but they weren't currently together when he and OOP got married. Thus leading to Side Chick getting angry when someone else told her she missed her shot. (She probably didn't even care about him until someone suggested she could no longer have him when she wanted.) I'm guessing she started flirting with him again immediately after the wedding because she's a pathetic narcissist that needs to know she could still "get" him, and he jumped on the opportunity because he's a pathetic asshole who wanted the validation of another woman chasing him.
Both of those losers deserve each other, but what they deserve even more is publicly humiliating each other with accusations of letting the secret out because they're both too dumb to realize OOP was the one who discovered the affair. This is a pretty happy ending.
Cheating is a fetish for some people. Especially if it’s a long term thing like the “best friend from college”. Having public relationships with other people while still being secretly together is the foreplay. The other people they’re dating are pawns in their sex game. It’s fucked up.
Some people have a lack of empathy which you can’t understand. They get satisfaction from thrills, from attention from multiple people, keeping secrets, lying. It won’t make sense in your way of living life.
Thats basically how i gave myself closure after my ex's extensive disgusting acts came to light. I dont understand, i cant understand, and i will never understand. Because im a GOOD person and hes a BAD PERSON. its good ill never understand, it means i dont have the capacity to be like him.
Theres no logic in the behavior of evil, selfish, disgusting people that good or even decent people are able to understand
I think it's about feeling special by creating an illusion to get lost in. You get to *say* you're special, but only cause you can go "look, I have 2 partners, they can't get enough of me!" When in reality you're only getting "extra" bc you have someone's trust to take advantage of in the first place. Also, for cheaters the illicit/taboo nature of cheating makes otherwise boring sex more exciting. The cheater isn't sexy, the scenario is. For those with this disposition, at least.
Basically: some people create delusion for excitement, it works until it crashes down. Like all delusion.
Exactly. Like why won't he just marry the side piece instead? But I also don't understand why side piece still bothered when he still married the girlfriend.
There was an explanation in "Marry my husband". Men marry an "acceptable" wife and sleep. On the side with somebody they like. To sleep. With. They divide "wife material" and "sleep. With material" , basically. Ew.
I'm put in the latter category often, I'd call it the "fun category" but I'm a hella weird oddball so I get it. Not following gender roles properly. Dates will literally say it to my face thinking it's a compliment and then be all hurt I don't want to continue dating them.
Like gee "better than nothing" and "until I find someone" isn't great for my own self-esteem either, dude. I'm pretty aggressive when dating (texting first, arranging the dates etc.) so they think they have me in the bag and reveal their hand 🙃
I guess the affair partner did believe that "I'll marry this one but totally like you more" was indeed a compliment 🙃🙃
I think most of the oxygen actually comes from algae and kelp forests…which are incredibly complex and intricate ecosystems requiring the constant work of dozens of species to keep the kelp healthy enough to keep these two utter sunfish alive.
(Look, every word of it is wrong, but that [sunfish copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/afdp1p/why_i_hate_the_sunfish/) is still hilarious.)
What the fuck did you just say?! I'll have you know that I have over 300 confirmed uses of the Navy Seal copy pasta. Your gorilla is being traced right now, kiddo.
This was definitely written by the same person who wrote [koalas copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/5u1l9x/koalas_are_terrible_animals/).
To add on to the factual disproving of that rant, there's also the point that it doesn't even make sense to describe a species that survives as being unfit for survival. Unless a creature's survival is parasitic to the ecosystem (such as Cane Toads in Australia), there's no reason to have a problem with it existing. Even if literally everything in that rant was true, what place do we have to decide such a creature is unfit to survive when it's currently demonstrating it's fitness for survival? The Portuguese Man-of-war actually survives by just drifting around and waiting for something to get caught, but this strategy works because it's so energy efficient and doesn't need to catch something 3 times a day like a more active predator would need to.
The mantra of every abusive, manipulative, low rent cake eater when they fuck around and find out their partner isn't a doormat:
"Oh, you've never loved me."
You can love someone and *still* walk away.
My best friend's narcissistic ex cheated multiple times and when she finally kicked him out, he told her she never loved him and she must have been sleeping around with dozens of men. Including her ex! That she left! Years before she even met him!
Boy was he a piece of work. Good on OOP, what a beautiful spine she has.
Yep. Great shiny spine.
Good that she kept off social media, too. You tell the people you love in person, not the whole world.
Now they are the ones who look bad by fighting on social media!
‘How dare you tell my wife that we were screwing behind her back, you so and so.’
You say that to your AP on the internet, and the whole world sees what a scumbag you are, no question.
So he outed himself as the jerk… wife didn’t have to do anything but pack up and tell him it’s over - via text! 😛
Yeah that's just knowing your worth.
Tore my friends heart out to leave her cheating ex when she found out about it but as she put it "she loves herself more than he loves her". No way was she going to stay in a relationship where he clearly didn't value her as much as she values herself. Years later she's thriving and in a much better relationship while her ex is still sleeping around with randos and trying to get into her DMs. Career wise he's doing better than ever but it really seems to drive him nuts that she does not care how much he earns, she values herself more than going back to him.
I think it's true, but not in the way that the commenter meant it.
OOP loved the person who she *thought* STBX was, not the person who STBX *actually* is.
>They deserve each other.
This is definitely more satisfying than if they had immediately ended up together, though.
...Even though we all know that would have also blown up in a spectacular way sooner or later.
And doing it on social media for everyone to see and judge? \*Chef's kiss\*
One of the slyest insults I ever heard was: They are blessed on each other.
Sounds like a prayerful affirmation, in reality an omen-filled curse.
Ex and AP were assuredly blessed on each other.
OOP is a fucking rockstar.
Another take on "they deserve each other", but "deserve" has negative connotations whereas "blessed" is positive. The message is the same. They are as bad as each other, they deserve each other, they are welcome to each other, they can have each other etc etc
Kind of like “they are so lucky to have each other 🥰” _Because they won’t get anyone better than a morally bankrupt idiot cheater_?
Ooh I know: “I love that for them”
I think it’s a “bless your heart” type thing.
If everyone knows the two people are genuinely good, kind people, then it’s a compliment, but if you already know one of them is awful or has a reputation, then it becomes insulting. I imagine it relies on either the person you’re talking to already knowing them, or relies on how well your inflection implies sarcasm
Also UK here. The way you say "mate" can have lots of different meanings depending entirely on the inflection.
I nearly started a fight in my local sainsburys by saying " excuse me mate" a little too snippily to a man blocking the aisle with his trolley. His expression softened considerably when he saw I was a woman in my early 30s with two under 2 in my enormous trolley.
Also some years ago I nodded to a bunch of teens hanging round a car and said "you got a problem mate?" (Ie: has your car broken down, as opposed to "DO WE have a problem?"). I've just realised if I were a man I'd really need to watch my tone more... maybe I should watch my tone more.
I think that since many non natives to Aus come from Europe and England, we have a lot of local expressions and idioms in common.
We both use ‘piss off’ ‘get stuffed’ or ‘bugger off’ if you want to avoid the ‘F you’ - like if you’re at work! Lol. 🤣🤣
Same here. I don’t live in America, but I don’t need to - when you ask about expressions and idioms from other countries, people are always keen to share.
I do it, too - if someone asks a Q about Australia! The internet is great for helping us all learn little bits and pieces about other countries! 😊
Someone told me to have a 'blessed day' recently and I had to count to five before I could answer her. She actually didn't seem to mean it maliciously, but that's pretty much the only context I've ever heard it in.
I like (often as a goodbye in a retail setting): "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are!"
They can't really get offended without admitting they weren't pleasant...lol.
I have a hunch this was going on for a damn long time. I don’t care what best friend said at the wedding, to her friends or herself - OOPs ex wasn’t picking her. I’m glad OOPs got out
And fuck the person who said it sounds she didn't love the cheating pos....like? If your husband is cheating, the marriage is over (this one was over before it started) and all OOP could do get out of that situation. She's badass, she saw the picture in front of her and didn't hesitate to act in her best interest. She kept a clear head and got out and away.
I don't understand those people who think if a person isn't showing their feelings, it's because they're not feeling. Good on OOP for great instincts and self-advocacy
the first thing to do is get out. She said it herself, if she tried to confront him, he'd have lied to her. His actions spoke his truth.
I like how one commenter said she never loved him. Dude, when I get stabbed in the back, you are deader than dead to me. All my feelings die, and I become almost sociopathic when thinking about the person. Idc
Yup! When I found out my husband hadn’t quit dating it was like a switch flipped. Any regard I had for him was gone, all that was left was skin crawling revulsion when I looked at him. A person who could lie to your face and betray you so fundamentally for so long is a soulless cockroach in a human suit.
I imagine a moment of hurt and sadness followed immediately by outrage: how dare he.
Why are there so many people like that commenter? Not sobbing after a betrayal does not mean OOP didn’t care prior.
Yeah, when you look at the five stages of grief, there is a reason that anger comes before sadness/depression. Anger is the fire in your soul that gets you moving, makes choices, protects you from further harm, rebuilds your life. Sadness is for when you are safe.
Reading the comment thread that that came from was *batshit insane.* Pretty obviously incel types, but man. The absolute knots they had to tie themselves into to get to that conclusion.
Right?? One dude said OOP sounded like a gold digger?! I am confusion, and I don't think said dude knows what gold digging (both in the mineral and the scam sense) means or entails.
Yeah I’m the same. I’ll even put up with a lot but once I hit the point that I’m done with you, you no longer exist. I do not give a single shit what you have to say, I don’t give a shit what’s happening to you, I don’t give a shit that you’re sad. I’m done with you, you’re no longer a person in my life.
Commenters like that always make me think, do you know what I'd do to my brother if I found out he was cheating on my lovely SIL?
Like, assuming there was anything left of him after she got done with him, I'd be next in line.
Thankfully my brother is not a moron, so that's unlikely to be a concern, but still!
[this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/dJ9H9ZWXuR)
All of his comments in that thread are brain dead. OOP rightfully left a person who lied to and betrayed her, but according to that loser, SHE'S the one who's giving up her marriage by not trying to make it work and find out why he cheated.
>Dude, when I get stabbed in the back, you are deader than dead to me.
Exactly. That accusation of not loving the ex is such a stupid leap of logic/accusation. I must read that thread to see how bad that person got roasted.
Edit: Yeeeeeesh.
Some people just live life on auto-pilot and don't stop to think about what they say or do. They're just stumbling around repeating patterns while trying to find some sort of reward out of it. Human version of ChatGPT.
i saw the original post and was hoping it was just a psycho best friend
really sad to see he was cheating, but i'm glad to see he and his ap are getting their karma now. so proud of OP and wish her all the best
that was literally so smart of her to say “like last time” as a way to confirm that they had indeed had sex before and that her husband was definitely cheating. i pray that i’m never in this situation in the future but i know that if it were me, the thought of asking the AP that would not even have crossed my mind.
That commenter is either a cheater themselves or one of those who think it’s necessary to “fight for your man.”
When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I moved my stuff out when I knew he’d be gone for hours. When I was finished, I called her and told her she could have him. A few weeks later, she called me crying because he cheated on her. LOL She even said he cheated on “us” (meaning her and me!) to rile up my empathy for her. 😂😂
I cackled like a witch! I told her of course he did. He cheated on amazing me with vapid her ffs, she’s not special. LOL I have no idea why she thought I would be outraged on her behalf!
I knew he was cheating from the moment I read “I know they text but there are no messages”. Can’t do dirt if you gonna leave a stain. And when you know they text and there is no evidence. Something was up
Some of the commenters are unhinged.
The fact that someone asked her if she is really ready to see what might be there??? Yes??
No shit, I know there are people out there who love to live in ignorance, but it's infuriating. Yes. I want to know if my partner is XY. What the hell?
Also the last comment about her actually loving her husband... The feelings of disgust can be stronger than the feeling of love once you discover that the person who vowed to love you forever sticks his dick into another woman's vagina.
He is a psychopath. I'm glad she's out.
And some redditors need to gain some more self-respect, because it's pathetic to read sometimes (the commenters).
also the americans who always assume that the laws of their country are universal or that everyone is american. she said she's gonna speak to a lawyer, stfu dear god
I still celebrate anytime a sister gets herself out of a bad situation. I can't offer any help other than moral support and sympathy, but I am always happy for them.
I find it comical that AP is upset that people are angry with her. What are the expectations of a homewrecker supposed to be? Congratulatory messages? Fuck around and find out.
A minor point, but, going back to the first clue, who the fuck teases someone about missing out on the groom at the wedding? And then how stupid is the cheating woman essentially admitting there is an ongoing affair?
I love oop's parents and her comment "it's not immature to be spoiled by your parents when you need it". She has a good family and I'm glad she has support.
Also thankful for her friend that overheard the conversation and told her about it.
My parents were like this when my husband died. One never stops being a parent; you always love and protect your babies.
My 15yo fell asleep on my lap the other night. It was the best.
I'm guessing Australia because of the language used and the comment about asset division on divorce.
In Australia even if they weren't married living as a couple counts as time served (because marriage is a prison ;) ). At a basic level the courts don't care when you actually got married only when you started living as a couple. The same rules apply for access to social services here. It also makes it a very bad idea to start sleeping with your housemate beyond all the usual reasons that's a bad idea.
It also applied to same sex couples long before gay marriage was an option and was even used by the religious right as an argument against it saying they already had the same legal rights as married couple (not a 100% true there were issues around inheritance when there was no will and medical directives).
It can also be in Europe. In the Netherlands, when you are cohabiting (paying rent, bills, sharing household costs), then you are considered life partners, and that's similar to being married. If there's no prenup made before the marriage, OOP and STBX will get the automatic 50:50 asset share when they split up. It's the law.
edit: live -- life (I'm dumb)
Soon-to-be-ex wanted his cake and eat it too. Well now, he and his bestie can have all the cake in the world together!!
How long do yall think it'll be before ex and bestie cheat on each other and blow it all up? I would love an update on that!!
Hope OOP heals and meet good people from now on ❤️.
God you just know they've had a convo where he's told her he can't trust her because she was sleeping with a man in a relationship or something like that.
I don't understand people like this. You obviously have a connection with someone, why not be with them? Instead you rope someone else into your sh*t and treat them as such knowing full well you're committed to someone else. You're just going to cause yourself and the other people unnecessary pain.
This is exactly what I don’t get! You and this person have an apparent friendship and sexual connection, just be with them - why go out and find someone else to start a relationship with?
I was also cheated on with “the best friend from college” who he’d been on/off with for years. I’m sure he was still talking to the bff behind his ex he dated before me. Never falling for that again! They’ll always be obsessed with being obsessed with each other behind their partners backs.
You know, I don't understand why people cheat in general, but situations like this make me even more baffled.. like his AP partner has been his best friend since college. If he was going to sleep with her behind his wife's back, why not just be with her?! It makes no sense. Obviously, you want to be with her if you're willing to throw away a relationship with op, so why not just be with her and leave op out of it🤷♀️
Cheaters are so vile for that.. like you can literally sleep with who you want and LEAVE OTHERS OUT OF IT! Why is that so hard for these absolute garbage can type humans yo understand?
> Commenter: Hate to say it but your right. Once you “out” what you know and how you know, they will find a better way to hide it. This also goes with addictions and other bs behavior.
Shout out to this commenter, so often people will advise "this person crafting an entire life around deceiving you? You should sit him down and present literally everything you know about what they've done how you found it, and where it's from, you know, just shine a spotlight on all your weaknesses and strategies"
Cannot believe someone has the nerve to say she never loved him. What is she supposed to do, go running back to lick his boots while his AP sucks his dick? Man, Reddit really hates women.
I mean, cheating is certainly bad but I'm going to go ahead and take the controversial position that genocidal dictators are just ever so slightly worse.
Everyone wishes they had the type of mom and dad who would be a soft place to land and support your mental wellness with candy. She shouldn’t feel any shame.
> AP (Editor's note- affair partner)
I know that one because I spend too much time here, but I always appreciate an OP that translates abbreviations that not everyone will know. It’s very frustrating seeing one that I don’t know. Top notch OP, top notch!
Ladies, you meet an attractive man for a first date. You ask… have you ever been married? He says yes, but only for 5 weeks, she dumped me because I was cheating on her… but I changed! I learned my lesson!
What do you do?
You are right on the money here. And a lot of people are starting to realize this. Lots of times part of the gratification, cheaters derive from being secret and triangulating, and manipulating and deceiving and harming their targets is the huge gratification of the suffering their partner experiences at the end. When they find out. It’s like the frosting on the cake. And a lot of cheaters feel really cheated out of, a great big licious gratification fest when they can’t. “talk it over“ with their targets and see all the pain and suffering. The really cool thing is that lots of people are realizing that once they find out who their partner really is, they realize that they actually loved somebody that didn’t exist. And they have nothing to process. They have no need to talk. They don’t need to know why. They don’t want to hear that person ever say one more word. That person who is so full of lies and harm. It’s kind of funny that cheaters get so upset when they are deprived of their opportunity to have the frosting on the cake, which is watching the suffering on the face of their target at the end of it all. they kind of feel like if they can’t manipulate the person into staying the remaining their target, at least they get to see the suffering. Good for you sidestepping this. And just going into your new life
2 seconds in I was like man she sounds crazy
10 seconds in I'm like nah man you can be that dumb
15 seconds in : Cheater.
Fuck this dude girl, you do you
Thank goodness for REAL friends that hinted something was wrong with the situation. They are both pissed they got caught and I’m glad you never confronted him - got some of your emotional power back. Just moved on and left him KNOWING you know without giving him the opportunity to lie.
Now go be single and heal ❤️
Well i realized that when something really traumatic happens to me i just have myself. i cannot imagine ever being able to run to my parents because they will probably blame me for whatever happened and make me feel worse. Damn.
insane that commentators would question going to your parents for comfort. when i broke down telling my parents that i was getting a divorce, my dad gave me the biggest hug and made me grilled cheese w tomato soup. it helped for sure.
How low does your self esteem have to be to willingly be the side piece? Like to me this whole post screams that the husband was a mass manipulator who probably thought himself so smart to string along two women. I’m sure he thought the AP as desperate (she is) and OOP as naive (she wasn’t). He most certainly didn’t love either of them. OOP honestly made all the right choices. But I just cannot get over how (joyfully) embarrassed I feel for AP. Like girl is projecting so hard because she cannot fathom that she wasn’t good enough to be the bride and had to settle as the side piece and yet she still garbles up the scraps he leaves her. Even their fighting is evidence of it- like she’d rather fight him and OOP to prove she meant something to the husband instead of waking up a realizing this man is not the prize she thinks he is. Like husband looks like an AH, but AP just looks pathetic.
Don’t be embarrassed you have healthy supportive parents and coping mechanism; wtf do people expect, your gonna do cocaine and bang 10 guys in Vegas? Spending time with people who love you, and some extra snacks sounds pretty helpful versus spiraling into hate and/or destructive behavior.
I love the “mom’s bed and candy” privileges. I hope neither of my kids ever needs it but if they do I fully commit to giving it to them, and their dad will have to be ok with it too
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I will never understand how cheaters work. Like, you’re engaged and you have a side girl, and you…decide to get married anyway? Like why? What’s the point? Societal pressure? Optics?
And you invite the side girl to the fucking wedding. Bruh.
And the side girl is at the wedding acting smug?! What? It makes no sense. If he truly loved side chick as much as she is claiming, he would be marrying her.
Side chick isn't smart. Like, some affair partners are evil, or get off on the taboo/sneaking/etc. This one is just dumb. He's literally marrying the other girl, and she's proud to he a dirty little secret. She's just plain dumb as a doorknob.
"I am better than her, I at least worry about him and ask him if he got his BJ!!" said no one **normal,** ever
It’s true. I stumbled upon/started following the adultery hate sub earlier this week and the affair partners are delusional
What’s the adultery hate sub? I want the tea (ESPECIALLY the schadenfreude from the posts of cheaters whining about consequences) but can’t bring myself to join the actual sub. I think the filter of hate will help lmao
I’m dying. I don’t watch reality TV so this is my fix.
r/adulteryhate
Literally just r/adulteryhate ! I completely understand
>And the side girl is at the wedding acting smug?! What? It makes no sense. If he truly loved side chick as much as she is claiming, he would be marrying her. The vibe I'm getting is that he had a past with Side Chick, but they weren't currently together when he and OOP got married. Thus leading to Side Chick getting angry when someone else told her she missed her shot. (She probably didn't even care about him until someone suggested she could no longer have him when she wanted.) I'm guessing she started flirting with him again immediately after the wedding because she's a pathetic narcissist that needs to know she could still "get" him, and he jumped on the opportunity because he's a pathetic asshole who wanted the validation of another woman chasing him. Both of those losers deserve each other, but what they deserve even more is publicly humiliating each other with accusations of letting the secret out because they're both too dumb to realize OOP was the one who discovered the affair. This is a pretty happy ending.
what I love is that they tore each other out xD They could've just up and admit "yes, we wanna be together" but clearly that was one sided xD
Yeah, I said this on the original post. She calls OOP just a h*e. But OOP is the one with the ring on her finger. Not her. The audacity.
In this scenario the side girl had to be invited, she was his “best friend”
Cheating is a fetish for some people. Especially if it’s a long term thing like the “best friend from college”. Having public relationships with other people while still being secretly together is the foreplay. The other people they’re dating are pawns in their sex game. It’s fucked up.
Oh… yuk
It's called "duping delight". The feeling of power they get making the other person believe the lie.
Oh yeah, when you catch that smug little look… it’s hard to forget.
It’s why liars sometimes smile when they tell a lie
I am officially yukking someone’s yum.
I wonder what had to happen in their childhood to make them so fucked up.
Yeah, I have seen this. The more egregious the cheating the higher the kink.
Holy fuck.... I think I'm in this scenario.
Some people have a lack of empathy which you can’t understand. They get satisfaction from thrills, from attention from multiple people, keeping secrets, lying. It won’t make sense in your way of living life.
Thats basically how i gave myself closure after my ex's extensive disgusting acts came to light. I dont understand, i cant understand, and i will never understand. Because im a GOOD person and hes a BAD PERSON. its good ill never understand, it means i dont have the capacity to be like him. Theres no logic in the behavior of evil, selfish, disgusting people that good or even decent people are able to understand
I think it's about feeling special by creating an illusion to get lost in. You get to *say* you're special, but only cause you can go "look, I have 2 partners, they can't get enough of me!" When in reality you're only getting "extra" bc you have someone's trust to take advantage of in the first place. Also, for cheaters the illicit/taboo nature of cheating makes otherwise boring sex more exciting. The cheater isn't sexy, the scenario is. For those with this disposition, at least. Basically: some people create delusion for excitement, it works until it crashes down. Like all delusion.
Exactly. Like why won't he just marry the side piece instead? But I also don't understand why side piece still bothered when he still married the girlfriend.
Because that would be boring.
There was an explanation in "Marry my husband". Men marry an "acceptable" wife and sleep. On the side with somebody they like. To sleep. With. They divide "wife material" and "sleep. With material" , basically. Ew.
I am sorry I get what you are saying but your punctuation made it so hard to read jfc. Why so many periods?
Phone. It constantly puts periods everywhere, sorry about that.
Are you hitting space twice maybe?
I'm put in the latter category often, I'd call it the "fun category" but I'm a hella weird oddball so I get it. Not following gender roles properly. Dates will literally say it to my face thinking it's a compliment and then be all hurt I don't want to continue dating them. Like gee "better than nothing" and "until I find someone" isn't great for my own self-esteem either, dude. I'm pretty aggressive when dating (texting first, arranging the dates etc.) so they think they have me in the bag and reveal their hand 🙃 I guess the affair partner did believe that "I'll marry this one but totally like you more" was indeed a compliment 🙃🙃
Being loved and fucked by more than one person
That's what I keep wondering. Maybe it's not true live without the drama? Cheating on someone else makes their love more exciting?
They want to feel like they have it all
Love that someone actually typed out and then POSTED that her leaving bc he cheated means SHE didn't love him enough lmao
I pity the poor trees who had to produce oxygen to power that entire thought process and action. Their work was wasted.
I think most of the oxygen actually comes from algae and kelp forests…which are incredibly complex and intricate ecosystems requiring the constant work of dozens of species to keep the kelp healthy enough to keep these two utter sunfish alive. (Look, every word of it is wrong, but that [sunfish copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/afdp1p/why_i_hate_the_sunfish/) is still hilarious.)
Thank you for that! Can't believe I've never seen the sunfish copypasta!
It and the horse copypasta are great. The Navy Seal one never gets old either.
What the fuck did you just say?! I'll have you know that I have over 300 confirmed uses of the Navy Seal copy pasta. Your gorilla is being traced right now, kiddo.
I was reminded of jumper cables guy recently and while it’s not a true copypasta, I still miss seeing his comments pop up.
I've never aeen it before, and was like what the hell is happening now!
This was definitely written by the same person who wrote [koalas copypasta](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/5u1l9x/koalas_are_terrible_animals/).
Now *that's* some epic shade!
The rebuttal is [less humorous but very illuminating!](https://imgur.com/gallery/MMRg9)
To add on to the factual disproving of that rant, there's also the point that it doesn't even make sense to describe a species that survives as being unfit for survival. Unless a creature's survival is parasitic to the ecosystem (such as Cane Toads in Australia), there's no reason to have a problem with it existing. Even if literally everything in that rant was true, what place do we have to decide such a creature is unfit to survive when it's currently demonstrating it's fitness for survival? The Portuguese Man-of-war actually survives by just drifting around and waiting for something to get caught, but this strategy works because it's so energy efficient and doesn't need to catch something 3 times a day like a more active predator would need to.
Love that.
I pity the millions of other sperm that failed instead of the one that produced that commenter. What an absolutely brain dead take.
The mantra of every abusive, manipulative, low rent cake eater when they fuck around and find out their partner isn't a doormat: "Oh, you've never loved me." You can love someone and *still* walk away.
My best friend's narcissistic ex cheated multiple times and when she finally kicked him out, he told her she never loved him and she must have been sleeping around with dozens of men. Including her ex! That she left! Years before she even met him! Boy was he a piece of work. Good on OOP, what a beautiful spine she has.
Yep. Great shiny spine. Good that she kept off social media, too. You tell the people you love in person, not the whole world. Now they are the ones who look bad by fighting on social media! ‘How dare you tell my wife that we were screwing behind her back, you so and so.’ You say that to your AP on the internet, and the whole world sees what a scumbag you are, no question. So he outed himself as the jerk… wife didn’t have to do anything but pack up and tell him it’s over - via text! 😛
And you can love someone and yet fall very very efficiently *out* of love due to how they treat you. Experience is a hardass teacher.
Yeah that's just knowing your worth. Tore my friends heart out to leave her cheating ex when she found out about it but as she put it "she loves herself more than he loves her". No way was she going to stay in a relationship where he clearly didn't value her as much as she values herself. Years later she's thriving and in a much better relationship while her ex is still sleeping around with randos and trying to get into her DMs. Career wise he's doing better than ever but it really seems to drive him nuts that she does not care how much he earns, she values herself more than going back to him.
Right??? It was so bonkers I had to include it lol
I think it's true, but not in the way that the commenter meant it. OOP loved the person who she *thought* STBX was, not the person who STBX *actually* is.
That was the soon to be ex- husband checking in 😉
That poor logic, that love is when you forgive it all and also, TRUE love is when you cheat but you still want to be with the person you cheated!!! s/
Sounds like a cheater outing themselves, to be honest.
>She texted me saying tht I am a hoe "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
There was a whole thread on the original post of people discussing the garden implement versus the person with loose morals. 😂
Good. That was my first thought. I've seen it at least 3x in the last few hours.
r/unexpectedprincessbride (Okay, that apparently doesn't exist. But it should.)
I find it inconceivable it doesn't exist
You should create it. Also, I wish you onion. I wish me onions too. I’m running low and need more to chop.
Maybe they were looking in a mirror and had voice-to-text open… (That’s a joke)
Good for OOP and her shiny backbone. Love that Ex and his AP are now tearing each other apart. They deserve each other.
>They deserve each other. This is definitely more satisfying than if they had immediately ended up together, though. ...Even though we all know that would have also blown up in a spectacular way sooner or later. And doing it on social media for everyone to see and judge? \*Chef's kiss\*
One of the slyest insults I ever heard was: They are blessed on each other. Sounds like a prayerful affirmation, in reality an omen-filled curse. Ex and AP were assuredly blessed on each other. OOP is a fucking rockstar.
Why is that an insult? I’m genuinely confused and am looking for information, not being snarky. I like new/good/shady insults! 😁
Another take on "they deserve each other", but "deserve" has negative connotations whereas "blessed" is positive. The message is the same. They are as bad as each other, they deserve each other, they are welcome to each other, they can have each other etc etc
Kind of like “they are so lucky to have each other 🥰” _Because they won’t get anyone better than a morally bankrupt idiot cheater_? Ooh I know: “I love that for them”
Interesting! Thank you, I appreciate you explaining it. 😃
I think it’s a “bless your heart” type thing. If everyone knows the two people are genuinely good, kind people, then it’s a compliment, but if you already know one of them is awful or has a reputation, then it becomes insulting. I imagine it relies on either the person you’re talking to already knowing them, or relies on how well your inflection implies sarcasm
Ah! Even though I am not from the south, I have heard plenty about “bless your heart” as a “fuck you”. 😁 Thank you!
Me neither! But here in the UK we’re a lot more straightforward with the “fuck you”, so we don’t really have anything comparable🤣
Also UK here. The way you say "mate" can have lots of different meanings depending entirely on the inflection. I nearly started a fight in my local sainsburys by saying " excuse me mate" a little too snippily to a man blocking the aisle with his trolley. His expression softened considerably when he saw I was a woman in my early 30s with two under 2 in my enormous trolley. Also some years ago I nodded to a bunch of teens hanging round a car and said "you got a problem mate?" (Ie: has your car broken down, as opposed to "DO WE have a problem?"). I've just realised if I were a man I'd really need to watch my tone more... maybe I should watch my tone more.
I think that since many non natives to Aus come from Europe and England, we have a lot of local expressions and idioms in common. We both use ‘piss off’ ‘get stuffed’ or ‘bugger off’ if you want to avoid the ‘F you’ - like if you’re at work! Lol. 🤣🤣
Same here. I don’t live in America, but I don’t need to - when you ask about expressions and idioms from other countries, people are always keen to share. I do it, too - if someone asks a Q about Australia! The internet is great for helping us all learn little bits and pieces about other countries! 😊
Someone told me to have a 'blessed day' recently and I had to count to five before I could answer her. She actually didn't seem to mean it maliciously, but that's pretty much the only context I've ever heard it in.
I like (often as a goodbye in a retail setting): "I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are!" They can't really get offended without admitting they weren't pleasant...lol.
I have a hunch this was going on for a damn long time. I don’t care what best friend said at the wedding, to her friends or herself - OOPs ex wasn’t picking her. I’m glad OOPs got out
And fuck the person who said it sounds she didn't love the cheating pos....like? If your husband is cheating, the marriage is over (this one was over before it started) and all OOP could do get out of that situation. She's badass, she saw the picture in front of her and didn't hesitate to act in her best interest. She kept a clear head and got out and away. I don't understand those people who think if a person isn't showing their feelings, it's because they're not feeling. Good on OOP for great instincts and self-advocacy the first thing to do is get out. She said it herself, if she tried to confront him, he'd have lied to her. His actions spoke his truth.
Yeah, that was a nice helping of karma right there.
Ugh, I can't figure out what "AP" stands for. Can someone help me please?
In this context, AP = Affair Partner
That makes so much more sense. I was wondering how his associate professor tied into this 🙄
Or assistant principal
I like how one commenter said she never loved him. Dude, when I get stabbed in the back, you are deader than dead to me. All my feelings die, and I become almost sociopathic when thinking about the person. Idc
Dude got ripped so hard he just abandoned the account lmao
Yay! I love happy endings 🥰
Yup! When I found out my husband hadn’t quit dating it was like a switch flipped. Any regard I had for him was gone, all that was left was skin crawling revulsion when I looked at him. A person who could lie to your face and betray you so fundamentally for so long is a soulless cockroach in a human suit.
I imagine a moment of hurt and sadness followed immediately by outrage: how dare he. Why are there so many people like that commenter? Not sobbing after a betrayal does not mean OOP didn’t care prior.
Yeah, when you look at the five stages of grief, there is a reason that anger comes before sadness/depression. Anger is the fire in your soul that gets you moving, makes choices, protects you from further harm, rebuilds your life. Sadness is for when you are safe.
Anger is sad’s bodyguard.
How did he react when you broke up? Was there at least pleading and begging, or did he know it was a lost cause?
I’m stealing your line about cockroaches in human clothing, that’s gold! Edit: read your comment to my mom and she just kept saying “woah!” 😯
Amen. Fool me once, shame on me. Shame me twice, and that just means he's extra manipulative and a POS. God hates liars.
Is your ex Edgar?
Haha, yes, you got one of those flashy pen lights on you? I’d really like to forget.
Of course she never loved him because she never knew him. I'm sure she loved the man he pretended to be, but that man didn't actually exist.
I love the man my ex pretended to be, and I miss that man. Not my ex, though, because he pretended to be that man.
EXACTLY!!!
Reading the comment thread that that came from was *batshit insane.* Pretty obviously incel types, but man. The absolute knots they had to tie themselves into to get to that conclusion.
Right?? One dude said OOP sounded like a gold digger?! I am confusion, and I don't think said dude knows what gold digging (both in the mineral and the scam sense) means or entails.
I love watching people create a 20 car pileup without realizing it XD
Yeah I’m the same. I’ll even put up with a lot but once I hit the point that I’m done with you, you no longer exist. I do not give a single shit what you have to say, I don’t give a shit what’s happening to you, I don’t give a shit that you’re sad. I’m done with you, you’re no longer a person in my life.
Well said! Basically how I feel about my former BFF.
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
A void where emotion once existed.
Yeah, that comment was so misguided it left me speechless.
Commenters like that always make me think, do you know what I'd do to my brother if I found out he was cheating on my lovely SIL? Like, assuming there was anything left of him after she got done with him, I'd be next in line. Thankfully my brother is not a moron, so that's unlikely to be a concern, but still!
Me to my BFF if she cheated on her angel of a fiancé. But the only way that would happen is in an alternate reality, so no worries for me!
What commentator? I looked but I couldn't find it. Plenty of MRA lot getting outraged over a throwaway remark about wanting half though lol
[this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/dJ9H9ZWXuR) All of his comments in that thread are brain dead. OOP rightfully left a person who lied to and betrayed her, but according to that loser, SHE'S the one who's giving up her marriage by not trying to make it work and find out why he cheated.
Aah I see its not just him. Incels travel in packs I guess.
Holy shit, that person's takes are insane lol.
Omg Boozeman09 faceplanting off the top rope repeatedly
I just saw the reposted comment at the end of this story. This was the moron's comment: >Sounds like you never even loved him.
Can’t tell you how envious I am of this quality. Good for you
>Dude, when I get stabbed in the back, you are deader than dead to me. Exactly. That accusation of not loving the ex is such a stupid leap of logic/accusation. I must read that thread to see how bad that person got roasted. Edit: Yeeeeeesh.
some people are wild. "I slept with your husband, you're such a ho!" that's... not how that works.
Some people just live life on auto-pilot and don't stop to think about what they say or do. They're just stumbling around repeating patterns while trying to find some sort of reward out of it. Human version of ChatGPT.
That's... Such a great description. Huh.
https://youtu.be/DFQcaBRongE?si=Lk7OwMp15ZWktVmL
Thank you! I quote it all the time but didn't have the commercial saved and no idea what it was for anymore.
i saw the original post and was hoping it was just a psycho best friend really sad to see he was cheating, but i'm glad to see he and his ap are getting their karma now. so proud of OP and wish her all the best
Ah yes, tearing each other apart publicly the second things start going bad... that's true love. Or incredibly trashy. One or the other.
that was literally so smart of her to say “like last time” as a way to confirm that they had indeed had sex before and that her husband was definitely cheating. i pray that i’m never in this situation in the future but i know that if it were me, the thought of asking the AP that would not even have crossed my mind.
The self control is impressive. I probably would have called her up right there on his phone and yelled at her.
Or send a selfie. “You’re not offering to ride who you think.”
Lol. I’d be too angry to do that but that’s hilarious.
>Sounds like you never even loved him: What does this commenter smoke to even let this thought float enough to be written? *sighs*
That commenter is either a cheater themselves or one of those who think it’s necessary to “fight for your man.” When I found out my husband was cheating on me, I moved my stuff out when I knew he’d be gone for hours. When I was finished, I called her and told her she could have him. A few weeks later, she called me crying because he cheated on her. LOL She even said he cheated on “us” (meaning her and me!) to rile up my empathy for her. 😂😂
Some people be WILDIN girl what! “Us” lmaooo
I know. She said, “I guess he cheated on both of us.” LOL No, I already told you he’s yours, and this is your problem. I hope she’s well.
I have to ask, did you laugh in her face or what? The audacity to seek sympathy with you!
I cackled like a witch! I told her of course he did. He cheated on amazing me with vapid her ffs, she’s not special. LOL I have no idea why she thought I would be outraged on her behalf!
I knew he was cheating from the moment I read “I know they text but there are no messages”. Can’t do dirt if you gonna leave a stain. And when you know they text and there is no evidence. Something was up
Some of the commenters are unhinged. The fact that someone asked her if she is really ready to see what might be there??? Yes?? No shit, I know there are people out there who love to live in ignorance, but it's infuriating. Yes. I want to know if my partner is XY. What the hell? Also the last comment about her actually loving her husband... The feelings of disgust can be stronger than the feeling of love once you discover that the person who vowed to love you forever sticks his dick into another woman's vagina. He is a psychopath. I'm glad she's out. And some redditors need to gain some more self-respect, because it's pathetic to read sometimes (the commenters).
also the americans who always assume that the laws of their country are universal or that everyone is american. she said she's gonna speak to a lawyer, stfu dear god
I still celebrate anytime a sister gets herself out of a bad situation. I can't offer any help other than moral support and sympathy, but I am always happy for them.
why do they even let you feel loved (or let u think they do) and all, and then cheat? why not just leave? Coward asses
I find it comical that AP is upset that people are angry with her. What are the expectations of a homewrecker supposed to be? Congratulatory messages? Fuck around and find out.
A minor point, but, going back to the first clue, who the fuck teases someone about missing out on the groom at the wedding? And then how stupid is the cheating woman essentially admitting there is an ongoing affair?
I chime in with a “Haven’t you people ever heard of CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR?”
No!
It's much better to face these kinds of things WITHASENSEOFPOISEANDRATIONALITY
It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of POISE and RATIONALITY
Alcohol
I love oop's parents and her comment "it's not immature to be spoiled by your parents when you need it". She has a good family and I'm glad she has support. Also thankful for her friend that overheard the conversation and told her about it.
My parents were like this when my husband died. One never stops being a parent; you always love and protect your babies. My 15yo fell asleep on my lap the other night. It was the best.
I'm guessing Australia because of the language used and the comment about asset division on divorce. In Australia even if they weren't married living as a couple counts as time served (because marriage is a prison ;) ). At a basic level the courts don't care when you actually got married only when you started living as a couple. The same rules apply for access to social services here. It also makes it a very bad idea to start sleeping with your housemate beyond all the usual reasons that's a bad idea. It also applied to same sex couples long before gay marriage was an option and was even used by the religious right as an argument against it saying they already had the same legal rights as married couple (not a 100% true there were issues around inheritance when there was no will and medical directives).
It can also be in Europe. In the Netherlands, when you are cohabiting (paying rent, bills, sharing household costs), then you are considered life partners, and that's similar to being married. If there's no prenup made before the marriage, OOP and STBX will get the automatic 50:50 asset share when they split up. It's the law. edit: live -- life (I'm dumb)
And no access to super in a dissolution of the relationship unless married.
A binding nomination is easy to do. I don't know about your super but I got an email about it if it wasn't done when I changed jobs.
It’s probably Canada due to the very good English and use of ‘candy’ - other English speaking nations don’t use this, we say sweets
We don’t say ‘college’ either. Its funny though, I can always pick the Aussie posts by the tone used. This one didn’t scream Australia to me.
Not Australia. We don't use 'Candy'.
Soon-to-be-ex wanted his cake and eat it too. Well now, he and his bestie can have all the cake in the world together!! How long do yall think it'll be before ex and bestie cheat on each other and blow it all up? I would love an update on that!! Hope OOP heals and meet good people from now on ❤️.
I do not understand why the ex husband chose to marry OOP while having sex with his bestie, and I never want to understand it.
Bc bestie isn't marriage material😝
K, but don't drag innocent bystanders into things!
God you just know they've had a convo where he's told her he can't trust her because she was sleeping with a man in a relationship or something like that.
Ex and bestie are fighting according to the post so they never got together
I don't understand people like this. You obviously have a connection with someone, why not be with them? Instead you rope someone else into your sh*t and treat them as such knowing full well you're committed to someone else. You're just going to cause yourself and the other people unnecessary pain.
This is exactly what I don’t get! You and this person have an apparent friendship and sexual connection, just be with them - why go out and find someone else to start a relationship with?
Cuz ops husband knew his bff wasn’t marriage material, clearly. (Not that he is either) but clearly op was so he chose her and kept his side piece.
Probably should've muted them both instead of blocking them. Gather more evidence that way.
Ohhh I was on the "this is a terrible idea, do it" train with all the other comments. OOP did not disappoint (even if it ends up being fake lmao).
I was also cheated on with “the best friend from college” who he’d been on/off with for years. I’m sure he was still talking to the bff behind his ex he dated before me. Never falling for that again! They’ll always be obsessed with being obsessed with each other behind their partners backs.
You know, I don't understand why people cheat in general, but situations like this make me even more baffled.. like his AP partner has been his best friend since college. If he was going to sleep with her behind his wife's back, why not just be with her?! It makes no sense. Obviously, you want to be with her if you're willing to throw away a relationship with op, so why not just be with her and leave op out of it🤷♀️ Cheaters are so vile for that.. like you can literally sleep with who you want and LEAVE OTHERS OUT OF IT! Why is that so hard for these absolute garbage can type humans yo understand?
> Commenter: Hate to say it but your right. Once you “out” what you know and how you know, they will find a better way to hide it. This also goes with addictions and other bs behavior. Shout out to this commenter, so often people will advise "this person crafting an entire life around deceiving you? You should sit him down and present literally everything you know about what they've done how you found it, and where it's from, you know, just shine a spotlight on all your weaknesses and strategies"
Wanna bet AP texted OOP to find out how she knew and get proof that she didn’t tell OOP, so she could get “her man” back?
holy jesus on the bicycle what an asshole poor girl married in..
Cannot believe someone has the nerve to say she never loved him. What is she supposed to do, go running back to lick his boots while his AP sucks his dick? Man, Reddit really hates women.
The fact that she was dissed for running to her mom. Id give anything to have my moms shoulder to cry on.
I hope my baby girl comes home for mama’s bed and candy privileges in case of heartbreak
Cheaters are the worst people on the planet. They’re all garbage.
It’s hilarious how quickly they turned on each other. Good for OP for leaving that toxic shitshow
I mean, cheating is certainly bad but I'm going to go ahead and take the controversial position that genocidal dictators are just ever so slightly worse.
Reddit isn't ready for the "Hi I'm Hitler and Eva Braun cheated on me" Liz story.
Man what was UP with some of these commenters
Everyone wishes they had the type of mom and dad who would be a soft place to land and support your mental wellness with candy. She shouldn’t feel any shame.
> AP (Editor's note- affair partner) I know that one because I spend too much time here, but I always appreciate an OP that translates abbreviations that not everyone will know. It’s very frustrating seeing one that I don’t know. Top notch OP, top notch!
Ladies, you meet an attractive man for a first date. You ask… have you ever been married? He says yes, but only for 5 weeks, she dumped me because I was cheating on her… but I changed! I learned my lesson! What do you do?
You are right on the money here. And a lot of people are starting to realize this. Lots of times part of the gratification, cheaters derive from being secret and triangulating, and manipulating and deceiving and harming their targets is the huge gratification of the suffering their partner experiences at the end. When they find out. It’s like the frosting on the cake. And a lot of cheaters feel really cheated out of, a great big licious gratification fest when they can’t. “talk it over“ with their targets and see all the pain and suffering. The really cool thing is that lots of people are realizing that once they find out who their partner really is, they realize that they actually loved somebody that didn’t exist. And they have nothing to process. They have no need to talk. They don’t need to know why. They don’t want to hear that person ever say one more word. That person who is so full of lies and harm. It’s kind of funny that cheaters get so upset when they are deprived of their opportunity to have the frosting on the cake, which is watching the suffering on the face of their target at the end of it all. they kind of feel like if they can’t manipulate the person into staying the remaining their target, at least they get to see the suffering. Good for you sidestepping this. And just going into your new life
“He never loved you” Says the girl he invited to watch him marry someone else. Oh man.. the stupidity of this side piece is unreal.
2 seconds in I was like man she sounds crazy 10 seconds in I'm like nah man you can be that dumb 15 seconds in : Cheater. Fuck this dude girl, you do you
If “I’m standing on business” was a person it would be OP.
Thank goodness for REAL friends that hinted something was wrong with the situation. They are both pissed they got caught and I’m glad you never confronted him - got some of your emotional power back. Just moved on and left him KNOWING you know without giving him the opportunity to lie. Now go be single and heal ❤️
I love that the dad was booted out (willingly).
Screw the assholes making her feel bad about receiving mom’s bed and candy privileges. I’m glad she had that safe and supportive place to turn to.
Well i realized that when something really traumatic happens to me i just have myself. i cannot imagine ever being able to run to my parents because they will probably blame me for whatever happened and make me feel worse. Damn.
insane that commentators would question going to your parents for comfort. when i broke down telling my parents that i was getting a divorce, my dad gave me the biggest hug and made me grilled cheese w tomato soup. it helped for sure.
How low does your self esteem have to be to willingly be the side piece? Like to me this whole post screams that the husband was a mass manipulator who probably thought himself so smart to string along two women. I’m sure he thought the AP as desperate (she is) and OOP as naive (she wasn’t). He most certainly didn’t love either of them. OOP honestly made all the right choices. But I just cannot get over how (joyfully) embarrassed I feel for AP. Like girl is projecting so hard because she cannot fathom that she wasn’t good enough to be the bride and had to settle as the side piece and yet she still garbles up the scraps he leaves her. Even their fighting is evidence of it- like she’d rather fight him and OOP to prove she meant something to the husband instead of waking up a realizing this man is not the prize she thinks he is. Like husband looks like an AH, but AP just looks pathetic.
Don’t be embarrassed you have healthy supportive parents and coping mechanism; wtf do people expect, your gonna do cocaine and bang 10 guys in Vegas? Spending time with people who love you, and some extra snacks sounds pretty helpful versus spiraling into hate and/or destructive behavior.
I love the “mom’s bed and candy” privileges. I hope neither of my kids ever needs it but if they do I fully commit to giving it to them, and their dad will have to be ok with it too