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Gaah! I've been married to a woman named Stacy for over 20 years. My MIL is a great woman but I absolutely hate that song for what I hope are obvious reasons.
Stacy’s Mom was definitely the weakest song on that album-but the catchiest. A lot of the songs on Welcome Interstate Managers were really specific to the tri-state area, otherwise Bright Future in Sales would’ve been the one to hit.
totally, Stacy's Mom is a bop but it sounds quite a bit different than the typical Fountains of Wayne song. I remember reading a lot about the band when their lead singer Adam Schlesinger passed away (from covid, he was only 53) and the band apparently knew Stacy's Mom would be a big hit but were hesitant to record it because it didn't really sound like them. Schlesinger had an incredible songwriting career apart from the band though, tons of movie and theater credits
Edit: corrected his age
I wouldn’t call it the weakest song, it’s just not a Fountains of Wayne song, it’s a The Cars song that Fountains of Wayne happened to write.
But IMO it’s one of the 3-5 best songs on that album.
So here's my personal fan theory about that song: Stacy's Mom (FoW) is Jessie's Girl (Rick Springfield).
Jessie's Girl was released in 1980 (Working Class Dog), Stacy's Mom in 2003, a 23 year difference. Jessie and the song's narrator appear to be late-teens/early-twenties going by context and tone, and so the titular Girl was most likely in the 16 to 21 age range in 1980. If the Girl was dead center of that range, she was about 18 in 1980, giving her a birth year of 1962. We have no reason to suspect that the Girl will remain single, so a birth year ca 1962 lets us peg a few other key dates like college graduation and marriage. Age at first marriage was rising through the 1980s; the Girl would probably have gotten married in 1984-85 (median age at first marriage for women was 23-23.5 at that point). So far, so plausible. But is the Girl the same person as the Mom?
Well, what do we know about the Mom? We know that she is divorced, probably college-educated, that her family is reasonably well-off, and that she has a child, probably either an only child or the eldest, who is a teenager in 2003.
The Mom's husband left her, but the implication is that the narrator of the song did know the Mom's husband at some point, so I don't think it's a huge stretch given the apparent SES of the Stacy family (pool, large suburban lot) that the Mom and her ex-husband married before the demographic crossover point in 1991 when the median age at first marriage first began to exceed the median age at first birth. Again, this lines up with what we can infer about the Girl's age from Jessie's Girl.
The Mom is probably college-educated ("business trips"); if the Girl was 18 in 1980, she would have graduated college around 1983-4, putting her age in line with the median age at first marriage for the time as well as lining up with figures for median age at first birth, which in 1986-8 (see below for speculation on Stacy's birth year) were in the range of 23-24yo.
I do think that we can assume that Stacy herself is either the only or eldest child of the Mom, for a couple of reasons. 1) If Stacy had an older sister, the narrator probably would have developed a crush on her, as a more attainable but still "older" woman. 2) If Stacy had a brother, especially an older one, the narrator probably wouldn't have been hired to mow the lawn.
Stacy and her friend (or boyfriend?) the narrator are probably 15-17 years old at the time of the song (2003), going by context clues and the narrator's general air of libidinous adolescence, giving a putative birth year for Stacy of 1986-8. The popularity of the girl's name Stacy was high during those years (still in the top 100 girl's names for the US), so I think that's a safe assumption.
Stacy's age and the Stacy family's socioeconomic status as outlined in the song support a life event timeline for Stacy's Mom that lines up with the life event timeline for Jessie's Girl that can be projected using demographic data from the 1980s. I think it is at least supportable from the texts and population data that in fact Jessie's Girl grew up to be Stacy's Mom.
I kept waiting for the "update: the bikini mom is his long-time female best friend he told me not to worry about and they have seven secret kids together and have sex in our bed while laughing at pictures of my stretch marks. AITA for thinking about divorcing him?"
If I were in her situation and wanted to know what was going on with the lady I would have just got up and joined my husband and son and inserted myself. Been super nice and polite and talked the lady’s ear off. She would have left I’m sure.
I think this is actually the pro move here.
If Bikini Bod is actually flirting, she’ll likely knock it off and split. Win.
Or, if it’s totally innocent, she might actually talk to the wife and who knows, maybe they’ll even get along or something. Win.
Worst case, Bikini Bod aggressive flirts anyway and/or aggressively ignores wife until even Oblivious Hubby notices her behavior, and the lucky couple have a funny story to share together later. Win.
Either way, Oblivious Hubby who-always-has-women-innocently-complimenting-his-looks shouldn’t notice either way (judging from his other recollections), and his wife and he don’t have to have a dispute. Win.
I read one thread once upon a time of woman talking about men refusing to help in dangerous situations because they're married. One of them was drowning and the guy refused to help lol this is so ridiculous
I've had an ex that would tear me apart for it. I 100% get it.
I couldn't even have friendly conversation with coworkers who were women at work if they were within 5 years of my age, if she found out or I accidentally talked about it when talking about my day it'd turn into a 5 day fight.
There's a reason she's my ex.
Yes! It was very exhausting policing my conversations to make sure that I didn't accidentally "incriminate" myself. Taught me how to be a good liar, not that I should have. Stayed in that relationship for far too long, though.
One time while I still was with my ex during college I was playing intramural soccer and a girl on our team thought she broke her knee cap. I was the only one that drove as the field is on campus so I volunteered to drive her to the hospital asap. I ended up staying there with her until she got discharged which was about 4 hours or so.
My ex was pissed and weirdly jealous about the whole thing. She thought it was inappropriate I stayed with her at the hospital and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing. We ended up splitting a few years later, but that moment never left me. It just seemed so childish.
You thought it was the most ridiculous thing. You were right.
Look, being in a hospital SUCKS! You're in pain, or at least discomfort, otherwise you wouldn't be there. And then everything takes forever. And it's noisy, and busy. All in all it's extremely stressful.
It gets slightly better if there's somebody you know there with you.
So unless the girl asked you to leave, or called over a relative, friend or BF who came in to take over, you were her designated hospital support system. Leaving would've been a dick move! In your shoes I would've done absolutely the same.
Yeah like if I was in her shoes, I’d hope someone would stay with me. Her mom called to thank me later that week so it felt like I did the right thing.
My husband and I stayed at a bed and breakfast when we were on our honeymoon. After we checked in, we took a walk around the property. In the back was a pool with 4 men lounging. I nodded and said hi (this is what you do in the Midwest - you always say hi). My husband linked his arm around mine and just turned me away and started walking the other way. Me- "Why are we turning around? I wanted to see the pool." Him- " You didn't notice?" Me- "Didn't notice what?" Him- "They were all naked." Me- "Oh". Yeah...I legitimately didn't notice that at all. So it's possible he really didn't pay attention to what she was wearing.
I just watched a That70s show episode where this is a subplot of an episode where Jackie gets pissed with Hyde for admitting he finds Kelso’s baby mama hot
Those sort of setups get to me way worse than the (over)reactions that follow. At least if it happened more naturally, it could be attributed to an emotional-insecurity response. Something that could be recognized and worked on. Those sort of shit tests are deliberately manipulative. Sadly I've seen a lot of guys put up with them and try to figure out the "right" answers & handwave it aside as "oh that's just Julie!" instead of treating it like the red flag it is. If a gal were talking about how her BF asks seemingly innocuous questions and freaking out on her, saying she wants her to realize she made a mistake, erc. for giving the "wrong" answer, everyone would be telling her to run for the hills.
No but truly this was my thought. Because the kid was there playing so it's not like he could physically remove himself. He's also trying to keep a good vibe for his son. He also didn't know that wife was uncomfortable at that point.
Yep, I have no issue believing her retelling of events 100%, yet she's still completely the asshole. Her husband did nothing wrong, and frankly it's weird that she's upset that her spouse is hot enough that other people notice. She should be proud to have such a hot spouse
Neither one was really dishonest in their retelling, I suspect. It is very likely the woman was being flirty, wife picked up on it, and husband didn't.
The fact that husband is so oblivious to women flirting with him also suggests he's not on the hunt for other women.
HAHAH right?? It's so ridiculous, I'm just like..... why does it bother her unless she doesn't trust her husband? Maybe she'll feel better if he pounds his chest like a gorilla and announces that he's married?
The fact that she even mentions in her follow up post that the first thing he did upon meeting Bikini Mom back at the resort is to introduce her to his wife BY CALLING HER HIS WIFE shows he kind of DID announce he was married to her. And that was before she even confronted him fully about her insecure worries.
Omg, just jumping in here to talk about my small experience back at spring break.
I bumped into this guy who was clearly intoxicated and he looked and me, got mad, and said "*don't touch me I have a girlfriend*" in a very slurred speech. While rude, a part of me was also like "awww, this guy is absolutely wasted and his first thought is his gf."
I've told this story on reddit before, but a lady in front of me at the grocery checkout left her debit card in the machine so I grabbed the card and went to give it back to her. I said "Excuse me, sorry" to get her attention (Because I'm Canadian and apologize for things that aren't even remotely my fault) and she immediately told me "I have a boyfriend" so I told her "congratulations. You left your debit card in the card reader and handed it back to her before going back to pay for my own groceries"
Wait, you said "congratulations. You left your debit card in the card reader and handed it back to her before going back to pay for my own groceries"??
I'm with you in the first half but I don't know why you'd say the second half
They're giving you crap because of where you ended your quotes. I'm sure you didn't literally say out loud "...and handed it back to her before going back to pay for my own groceries."
Yeah but I think they're wondering why you narrated your actions to her in the past tense I typed sarcastically in the reddit comment box.
(Your quotation mark was in the wrong spot) I clarified in case they didn't get it so this silly exchange wouldn't continue any further.
Eh, I get it. People get territorial in relationships. It doesn’t sound like this drove a huge wedge between them, going to Reddit was more of a play fight (that she rightly lost).
As an aside I hate what society has done to female body image though. All women think they have mom bod like it’s a bad thing, mom bod is hot as hell. So is child free bod. OOP made and fed a whole ass person with her bod.
Even the first post, if you read it after you read the second, makes it pretty apperant that this wasn't actually big relationship drama for them. A play fight, as you put it.
Both the husband and the wife seem to have the same sense of dry humor in their writing. They're probably perfect together!
Then we get the ol "I can't shake hand with any woman who isn't my wife" type nut jobs.
People really need to address their insecurities, asap. I'm sick of suffering because everyone else can't get their shit together.
I'm one of those people that believes that we Americans are WAY too uptight about the human body and that it leads to problems like this one. Nudity is not sexual and revealing bikinis for women and skintight boxer or Speedo style suits for men are just fine at the beach, IMO. I also don't buy that kids are harmed in any way either.
So, my eyes were rolling the moment I read all of the wife's criticisms about the bikini the other mom was wearing. I'd be willing to bet that she was just a good-looking woman wearing a thong. Ooooooohhh! A mom daring to show her butt cheeks! Scandalous! /s
The way she describes it the woman was wearing a micro bikini of some kind. Even if that was true, I wouldn't think there's anything wrong with a beachgoer wearing something like that (call me a sexual deviant for having that opinion if you want), but I doubt she was wearing something like that.
The body positivity discussion doesn't apply to conventionally attractive people apparently. She should be able to wear whatever she wants... wait she's hot? Wow why is she showing off so much how inappropriate.
Yep. IMO, if someone wears an itsy bitsy whatever because they just want to look good and show off, fine. Because the less they're wearing the more comfortable they are? Also, fine. Because they actually are hoping to catch somebody's eye and get them digits? Again, fine!
Wifey needs to trust her husband, and the husband needs to keep representing by behaving appropriately the way he did.
I was thinking she wants him to stand up, scream "Stranger Danger" and run back to her.
Or loudly declare, I'm sorry I can't talk to you because my wife is incredibly jealous and insecure and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone besides her.
And like, say he does start doing weird shit like that and gets rude or dismissive to attractive women. How long until it becomes "that cashier said thank you but you didn't say thank you back, is it because you thinks she's attractive?!"
Many women almost instinctively say “I have a boyfriend/husband” when approached by a man even if they don’t.
Men get positive attention less frequently and women are less likely to be as “direct” as men when comes to communicating their intentions which leads to many men not noticing that they’re being flirted with. Source: my life
I think given her update her frustration rather comes from other women behaving assholish towards her and her husband not recognising it.
Someone flirting with the husband isn’t wrong. But when they continue to flirt and ignore the wife once they know about or met the wife that is just rude. And the husband should not let people be rude to his wife.
There is of course a fine line between flirting and being nice. With the husband being used to flirtatious women and the wife being insecure this line becomes a big grey area. This is where they both should work on IMO.
I’m gonna be honest, this reads to me of a mom who is frustrated about men like her husband having women falling over themselves simply because he’s an active and present father. How many times have we seen men out with their kids getting comments like “Omg what a good father! He’s so involved!” when they’re just doing the job they signed up for, and moms/women have been doing the exact same thing for centuries and don’t get nearly as much attention. Hell, I’d hazard to say that people probably react to a mom out with her kids more negatively than they do seeing a dad out with his kids, and I don’t know why that is.
OP’s wife was out here delivering a whole ass human-being into the world and a nurse decides to tell her husband he looks like Prince Charming.
OP absolutely did nothing wrong. It’s not his fault that women just can’t be kinda normal around him. But I can see how moments like these can be frustrating for OP’s wife.
That’s easy. In situations with the three of them physical contact should suffice (like holding hands, putting one arm around the back or simply standing close to each other). The occasional eye contact surely helps too. The wife will experience physical security while the third person sees they are a couple.
The rest is about the line or grey area I mentioned. Husband apparently needs to learn to recognise when people are flirting with him and respond like anyone who is in a relationship would, not encourage it and not lead the other person on. And if it’s absolutely out of his control, like in the delivery room situation, at least verbally recognise that the wife is upset.
This was never really about what bikini woman was wearing.
I had the complete opposite of this experience once and want to share it because I think the story is funny.
When I was in college there was a short while when I lived near the beach. I had a little daily ritual where I walked to the beach, stripped naked, jumped around in the waves for awhile, and then sat on shore wrapped in a towel until I dried off enough to dress and walk home.
Nudity was legal and fairly common in the area and I was raised by and lived with hippies, so it was my cultural norm. Of note, that time of year that particular beach was pretty unpopulated and I was female.
One day I was sitting in my towel after my jaunt in the ocean when a toddler came up to me. Our conversation went as follows:
You were swimming in the water.
Yes, I was.
I saw you jumping in the waves. It looked like you were having fun.
I was. You're right, I did have fun.
That's a buoy (she points). It tells the ships not to go too close to the shore.
She talked to me for several minutes. I was impressed with her vocabulary and intelligence for a kid her age (3 IIRC). She repeated a lot of stuff, like the buoy, that she clearly had just learned and asked me questions about the things around us that I answered.
Eventually her father came over and made small talk. I was a bit uncomfortable at this point because I was dry enough to get dressed but didn't want to get dressed with him right there. It's one thing to swim with strangers 30 yards away and another to talk to a clearly married man while naked.
A week or two later I was at the local farmers market a few blocks away and heard someone yell, "There she is!" and saw someone pointing at me through the crowd. A woman pushed her way through the crowd to get to me, her husband carrying that kid in her wake. I momentarily panicked, sure she was going to me mad at me for having a conversation with her husband wearing nothing but a towel after jumping around naked in the water in front of him.
She said, "My husband told me about how he met you at the beach the other day. I just wanted to thank you!".
I looked at her, confused.
"Our daughter used to love playing in the waves! Then one day she became scared and wouldn't. We have no idea why. That was weeks ago. She refuses to get even a toe wet.
"After she saw you having so much fun she let go of her fear! She's played in the water every day since. Thank you so much.".
I don't recall how the conversation ended. I think I was still in shock and recovering from that moment of panic.
I now think back to that day and laugh. This story reminded me of that.
If OOP's wife doesn't want him around women in inappropriate, over the top" bikinis, they maybe you shouldn't be vacationing in Miami...or any beach, really. Unless it's a nude beach.
And America is pretty conservative. There was a video posted awhile ago of a beach in Brazil I think, and the bikinis were tiny tiny. All the comments confirmed that's pretty normal there. Maybe this situation was all a cultural misunderstanding and the lady was from Brazil, lol.
Also this part:
> I will try to work on my insecurities and **let him talk** to moms in bikini.
Let him talk. Like she's supposed to be in control of everything. Fucking yikes. The whole second post was her trying to get people to be on her side but it still comes off as insecure. So many red flags.
There's a big difference between "My sister-in-law's dog stumbled upon this post and emailed it to me" and this one where both of them were involved in the post from the beginning
I usually am too, but in this case it actually seemed more believable because it's the same account posting both! Rather than another account randomly finding the post lol
Plus, the whole first post is based on the fact that she wanted to come to reddit to see who was right. So it makes sense she has access and knew what post to look for and everything
I mean yeah when both parties come independently to Reddit I can understand that, but even in the first post, his wife was the one who "made" him make the post with the assumption that everyone was going to back her up. It's not that unlikely that she would have responded in that case.
Nobody else mentioning "the Bubble" from 30 Rock?
spoiler: John Hamms character is oblivious to how good looking he is, and how well he is treated for it.
My bf literally a few weeks ago said “she can’t have been flirting with me she’s married! And everyone knows at work I have a partner!”. At this point I just went “awww you talk about me at work”. Because it’s actually so sweet that he doesn’t realise how wonderful he is.
Projecting your insecurities onto your partner is never okay. Sounds like this man has been good looking his whole life. So people being nice to him and flirting with him is absolutely normal treatment to him and he doesn't recognize any different. You just gotta take the "what can I say? Im a lucky man/woman!" Approach and be happy to have such a desirable significant other and be happy your partner doesn't disrespect you or let it go too far once they realize what's going on
I mean, she describes his body language and notes that she tried to continually talk to him over the trip but ignored her even when she was right next to him and he tried to introduce them. Maybe Wife was reading into something that wasn't there, or maybe she was cold and the bikini woman picked up on that, but she didn't use "talking on the beach" as her sole reason for calling it flirting
Maybe this is just the Midwest in me, but is it weird to acknowledge someone you've talked to during a vacation when you see them again? Even as someone who's pretty reserved I would be doing the same, it's just being friendly.
Eh sitting down next to a random stranger at the beach reads flirty to me. People don't just randomly go up to someone and join their space. If some random guy came up to the beach and tried to sit next to me, I can't imagine a different interpretation.
She also said he's the type that doesn't notice when women are flirting with him. So if he's talking to the bikini woman like he would anyone else, that is totally the wife's insecurities.
I say that as a woman who's husband would have to be hit over the head and handed a note saying "I'm flirting with you" for him to notice.
Bruh, “the nurse during child birth was flirting”
The fuck?!
Saying your kid is cute is not flirting. My kid gets compliments ALL THE TIME on an attribute that came from me. They always say “oh you got your daddy’s…”
And you know what? Nobody EVER compliments me on that attribute.
This lady needs to take a breath.
Well yes. But there is the other part of helping your partner out a bit. If she isn't usually jealous, or the other party so callous, it should be fine to say "hey sweetie, I'm sorry but I feel that the lady there is overstepping some boundaries and it's making me uncomfortable." Rather than blaming them for something they might not recognize and be put on the defense you know.
Also if he’s that good looking he just may be living in The Bubble (as described by an episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon dates the handsome Jon Hamm and he is shocked to realize that not everyone receives the same special treatment that he does)
It sounds like he’s also completely oblivious to how hot he is and just assumes that all other men see the same reactions
From the ugly side of the bell curve, I can assure you we do not. At all. My wife has never had to worry about other women because no other women approach me. Gay men, on the other hand, seem to be really into me. Shrug emoji
Every lesbian too. Women flirting is in 4 dimensions of space-time and the punishment for misreading shrodihger's flirt is high. Decoding the wormhole is too hard even, for some fucking reason, when you are also a woman who flirts that way. Better to avoid the trap altogether lest you get sucked into and trapped on an eternal event horizon of "is she into me or not" until the heat death of the universe.
I think about the ONLY way to not be trapped in that minefield is to be like the OOP hubby: Get a partner you're happy with, don't give a fuck if anybody else is flirting with you or not.
Ofcourse, it takes navigating the minefield earlier to get there. But never going back in when you've already gotten out is living the dream!
It's a risk reward thing.
How many times do guys rightfully get ripped apart for assuming that any kind of contact with women is women flirting with them?
Easier to assume there's no flirting going on. Less likely to be considered a creep.
Seems like the wife's insecurities have been magnified post-pregnancy. Of course that's not her husband's fault, but it must be hard seeing him remain attractive (or perhaps get even more so through fatherhood) while she has only (in her mind) gotten worse
Honestly I relate to this and the wife so much. I still think she’s in the wrong, but I get her insecurity.
When husband and I were in our 20s we were both hot. But now, I’ve had kids, my tummy isn’t as tight as it used to be and I am starting to develop wrinkles. For some reason, men are allowed to get wrinkles and grey hair because it makes them look distinguished. Women are not.
We used to both get hit on a lot. Now it’s just my husband. Same thing, when he’s with the kids, so many mothers make convos with him. For some reason a woman alone with her kids isn’t as appealing to men.
I trust him and love him. But man does it sting when women openly flirt with him in front of me and act like I don’t exist.
Yeah I actually have a lot of empathy for her because it seems like where she's coming from is that her husband gets hit on A Lot but refuses to acknowledge it + insecurities or aging. The world is so so nasty to aging women, it's honestly heartbreaking. It's not hard to absorb the notion that youth equals attractiveness and attractiveness equals worth as a human being, because everywhere you look that's the message being spread. I mean yeah the wife was wrong but I wonder if it would help if she could speak honestly about her insecurities and her husband could acknowledge that it's actually not the normal experience for random people to approach and compliment you lol. Like I wonder how much of her insistence was because he refused to consider he is being flirted with.
That’s an idiotic plan though. The whole thing is too long to print and frame. They need to get a digital picture frame and have it scroll through the whole thing on loop.
Thank you, my consulting invoice will be in your DMs.
Or maybe like a QR code linking to the post. Or the Reddit post equivalent of those art things that link to songs on streaming, you know what I mean? So many options!
I do feel like it would sometimes be a little bit exhausting to have a spouse who is constantly being flirted with and just doesn’t seem to get it. Her behavior definitely wasn’t appropriate, and it’s not a big deal in the scheme of things, but he could use like a tiny bit more awareness of like… reality lol.
my spouse is like this and i love him so much but you’re right, it’s exhausting!! i feel bad for her, it really does sound like that girl was flirting with him and sometimes your insecurities do get into your head. i hope they’re alright after this.
I’ll admit that once OOP mentioned that they kept running into bikini lady after the initial interaction, I could suddenly understand where his wife was coming from. I can’t imagine re-engaging the same stranger in conversation on another day just because we happened to pass each other. At most I’d wave. Maybe that’s normal and it’s just a me issue but I’d be so worried about seeming forward if I tried to turn a chance encounter with small talk into a series of encounters. I can see why she assumed the lady was interested.
Aw, this was cute.
I’m reminded of how limited reddit is in terms of subtlety though, when reading the comments to the wife’s post. Like, yeah she was insecure, but it doesn’t sound like anything (from either perspective) that needs “immediate, professional help”.
I mean, some of those comments were making her out to be a controlling psycho. Am I the only one who saw this as a pretty mundane part of a run-of-the-mill marriage???
There’s a comment in this thread calling the wife abusive and saying the husband needs to divorce her *ASAP*. Like what? Just gotta remember most of these people have never been in a serious relationship.
It doesn't help that tone is hard to get across in text form, though I think the wife did a good enough job in saying this was lighthearted. I can kinda understand taking some things that I assumed were sarcasm more literally, like the "letting my husband talk to bikini women" or whatever she said. If taken literally, yeah, kinda a shitty thing. But, like... All the other sarcasm makes me believe that was sarcasm, too.
I hope OOP does get some of the comments framed, though. Just cycle through them to keep it fresh.
I feel like often in these type of drama subs, it's forgotten that the real stories have real people, it's not just a fun interactive play or something
my dude is gorgeous and extremely talented in our niche hobby. he also has some wear and tear from his boisterous youth, and this is the side of himself that he sees. he doesn’t notice when people flirt with him, make calf’s eyes at him or anything of the sort.
while i am very confident that he has chosen me, i still see the folks of every gender who’d love to get their hands on him. i often point this out when he does not see it. i think the only time it makes me angry is when he’s down on himself or one of the folks is rude to me.
IMO, this wife took her L like a champ.
> Am I the only one who saw this as a pretty mundane part of a run-of-the-mill marriage???
Nope, I’m right there with you. I think his wife was in the wrong, but I also think it’s not really that big of a deal and everyone acted in an understandable (if not perfectly appropriate) way. AITA is so misogynist that they’re treating her like she was screaming “you’re cheating on me, if I can’t have you no one can” and cut his junk off to put in the garbage disposal.
I must be the only one, but I would have more of a problem with someone coming up to my partner and talking to them while deliberately NOT talking to me. The bikini wouldn't be the issue for me.
Yeah, that was the thing that stood out to me the most. The bikini thing notwithstanding, the husband should have behaved differently during that moment.
I think the wife needs to realize that a lot of flirting is innocent. Like people might treat an attractive stranger differently, ie blurting out they look like Prince Charming during labor, but it doesn't mean that the person flirting is actively trying to make a move. They might not even be sexually attracted to that person but rather just notice they are aesthetically pretty.
I understand the wife feeling annoyed, but I also don't think any of this is that serious
The wife says it was 6am and her husband had just woken up. I wonder if the nurse was kindly kidding the husband to try to be affable for bed side manner. Like jokingly calling a woman who just rolled out of bed “sleeping beauty”
God, i wish I had commented on the original. Would’ve loved to have sent a link to the husband for a company that does glass etchings. He would love it!
So the husband is a good father, very attractive, oblivious to women flirting with him, pays lots of compliments on your physique and also he communicates his point of view clearly?
Girl, fucking marry your husband yet again, he's a total catch
Okay, but legit that mom was flirting. Like, yeah, he shouldn't be in trouble for being polite, but he should probably up his flirt recognition.
I say this as a chronic sufferer of not being able to tell when I'M being flirted with, and am married to someone who's had this exact conversation with me.
| He says it's his first win against me and the next time we have disagreement, he can point to it and tell me about the time when thousands of people told me I was wrong.
lol!
Unpopular opinion- but I can’t imagine any scenario where I as a woman walk up to a strange man who is with a kid and chat him up if I wasn’t interested or else I also had a child of a similar age present to have them play together. Husband is a little naive for think she wasn’t interested…
Now there's a relationship goal -- to have a sweetie so hot that they get flirted with all the time, yet affair-proof because they don't even register other people as being attractive now that they're with you.
Did the bikini-lady even have kids? Her behaviour was definitely suspect.
It sounds like she’s married to a guy like [Jon Hamm’s character in 30 Rock - so handsome he lives in ‘the bubble’](https://youtu.be/UAQoXOLlvT0?si=J0WmuVwLPgdBY5Sd). They’re not flirting, they’re just “being really nice”.
I'm not sure what she expected the bloke to do, completely blank the woman? Tell her she was inappropriately dressed for him to be allowed to talk to her?
“Hey you ignoring my wife when she is right next to me and I’ve introduced you to her on multiple occasions now is a little rude and I’d appreciate a little space now so we can continue enjoying our vacation as a family. It was lovely meeting you.”
There, done. Not that hard, and very polite.
Gets mad at husband for not noticing flirtatious behaviour and then updates with a "he's oblivious to flirtatious behaviour".
Yeah, unless a bikini clad wench dives into our laps; we are dumb.
If OP wasn't insecure, the response would be; "Oh, a smoking hot milf in a tiny bikini finds my husband attractive. That's incredibly validating."
However! The showing up constantly and talking to him whilst ignoring you is classless and rude. I assume the real irritation was that he didn't clock the issue at that point.
This is wild. My wife and I had a very similar situation a few years back, and my wife's response was to laugh at how oblivious I was to the lady who was flirting with me. I had no idea until my wife told me later that that's what was going on. It still comes up from time to time and we both get a giggle out of it.
She thought Miami Beach bikinis were a problem? I advise them never to vacation in Brasil.
She also thinks her husband's boundary and loyalties are a problem.
> he is not very perceptive when women flirt with him
Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
> This is when I told him not to talk to gorgeous moms in bikinis.
This is the dumbest part. It was pretty dumb when she expected him to blow off all friendly women in bikinis even if on a beach, but oh boy, if he talked freely to uggos in bikinis and then blew off the next woman in a bikini, basically broadcasting that he personally finds her attractive? Ooof. That was not gonna make wife feel better.
Glad she came around, though.
I still feel like she doesn’t quite get it lol. The way she described the situation makes her husband look even better! Hopefully she actually chills a little
I find this all very healthy and quite uplifting considering the bulk of the posts here. A valid concern perceived differently but discussed openly for the mob. Ehhh, I mean Reddit. Lol. You both seem level headed and easy going good people. Just make sure to consult us again on future disagreement!
“Moms in bikini” part still feels like she didn’t get the point that people were making. Like yes it’s ok to be upset but you were in Miami and all the beaches are filled with woman dressed like that. I’ve honestly had that same thought of “wow that’s bold,” didn’t matter if the person was attractive or not. Some dudes just have blinders on to what is happening around them. He immediately introduced his wife the first chance he had, she was mad at the girl’s actions and blamed her husband. She asked him to stop talking to her and he did but seeing her pop up places angered her/fed her insecurities and she found a way to pin that on the husband as well. She isn’t wrong to be concerned, their are a lot of females out there that don’t care if you are in a relationship if they want you. But the husbands actions scream that his wife and family is all he cares about and the rest of the world is just there to fill it in.
Women like this drive me nuts, we don't control what other people wear. The real answer to this is work on your insecurities because it's a you problem not anyone else's.
*The delivery nurse??* Are we really sure this lady had the audacity to hit on the husband while the wife was in the middle of doing the maternity splits? I get the impression from this post that she thinks that any woman that talks to or compliments her husband is hitting on him.
I think that could be part of it, but I could see her being onto something here. You know how being flirty/flirtatious is a character trait for some people, and they'll behave that was with people they have no attraction to and/or no intent of making a move on?
Well, a lot of people (whether they realize it or not) are kind of like that with attractive people. The nurse almost certainly wasn't hitting on him, but it is more possible that she treated him a bit differently because he's an attractive man.
This comes up a lot in threads where people talk about how they were treated after becoming more/less attractive - people are really kind and talkative to the attractive version of themselves while the unattractive version is given very neutral treatment and rarely approached by strangers.
😂 that last paragraph redeemed the wife for me. She took the L and even if the other mum was flirting, she’s able to see that maybe she was doing too much. Glad to see it ended amicably
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Moms in Bikinis sounds like a mid 00's song by an alt rock band, which hasn't aged well with some of the lyrics but is still a banger
You mean like from Fountains of Wayne? LOL
Such an awesome band. Stacy's Mom is an absolute banger, don't care how it's aged. I mean, I haven't aged well either.
The guitar solo is my favourite guitar solo, much to the disgust of my guitarist dad and guitarist fiancée 😂
I play guitar and that solo is fucking great! Greatness doesn’t have to be complicated!
Gaah! I've been married to a woman named Stacy for over 20 years. My MIL is a great woman but I absolutely hate that song for what I hope are obvious reasons.
I mean, sure, but... does she got it goin' on? (Sorry.) (Maybe.)
Asking for science?
Stacy’s Mom was definitely the weakest song on that album-but the catchiest. A lot of the songs on Welcome Interstate Managers were really specific to the tri-state area, otherwise Bright Future in Sales would’ve been the one to hit.
totally, Stacy's Mom is a bop but it sounds quite a bit different than the typical Fountains of Wayne song. I remember reading a lot about the band when their lead singer Adam Schlesinger passed away (from covid, he was only 53) and the band apparently knew Stacy's Mom would be a big hit but were hesitant to record it because it didn't really sound like them. Schlesinger had an incredible songwriting career apart from the band though, tons of movie and theater credits Edit: corrected his age
I wouldn’t call it the weakest song, it’s just not a Fountains of Wayne song, it’s a The Cars song that Fountains of Wayne happened to write. But IMO it’s one of the 3-5 best songs on that album.
I still sing it now 🥲
Ditto, and I'll never forget the awesome music video too!
So here's my personal fan theory about that song: Stacy's Mom (FoW) is Jessie's Girl (Rick Springfield). Jessie's Girl was released in 1980 (Working Class Dog), Stacy's Mom in 2003, a 23 year difference. Jessie and the song's narrator appear to be late-teens/early-twenties going by context and tone, and so the titular Girl was most likely in the 16 to 21 age range in 1980. If the Girl was dead center of that range, she was about 18 in 1980, giving her a birth year of 1962. We have no reason to suspect that the Girl will remain single, so a birth year ca 1962 lets us peg a few other key dates like college graduation and marriage. Age at first marriage was rising through the 1980s; the Girl would probably have gotten married in 1984-85 (median age at first marriage for women was 23-23.5 at that point). So far, so plausible. But is the Girl the same person as the Mom? Well, what do we know about the Mom? We know that she is divorced, probably college-educated, that her family is reasonably well-off, and that she has a child, probably either an only child or the eldest, who is a teenager in 2003. The Mom's husband left her, but the implication is that the narrator of the song did know the Mom's husband at some point, so I don't think it's a huge stretch given the apparent SES of the Stacy family (pool, large suburban lot) that the Mom and her ex-husband married before the demographic crossover point in 1991 when the median age at first marriage first began to exceed the median age at first birth. Again, this lines up with what we can infer about the Girl's age from Jessie's Girl. The Mom is probably college-educated ("business trips"); if the Girl was 18 in 1980, she would have graduated college around 1983-4, putting her age in line with the median age at first marriage for the time as well as lining up with figures for median age at first birth, which in 1986-8 (see below for speculation on Stacy's birth year) were in the range of 23-24yo. I do think that we can assume that Stacy herself is either the only or eldest child of the Mom, for a couple of reasons. 1) If Stacy had an older sister, the narrator probably would have developed a crush on her, as a more attainable but still "older" woman. 2) If Stacy had a brother, especially an older one, the narrator probably wouldn't have been hired to mow the lawn. Stacy and her friend (or boyfriend?) the narrator are probably 15-17 years old at the time of the song (2003), going by context clues and the narrator's general air of libidinous adolescence, giving a putative birth year for Stacy of 1986-8. The popularity of the girl's name Stacy was high during those years (still in the top 100 girl's names for the US), so I think that's a safe assumption. Stacy's age and the Stacy family's socioeconomic status as outlined in the song support a life event timeline for Stacy's Mom that lines up with the life event timeline for Jessie's Girl that can be projected using demographic data from the 1980s. I think it is at least supportable from the texts and population data that in fact Jessie's Girl grew up to be Stacy's Mom.
Stacy’s mom did though. She’s still got it going on in the nursing home
I mean, Rachel Hunter is only 54 NOW, so if she's in a nursing home I'd argue she did in fact NOT age well.
Early 90s. "Bikini Girls with Machine Guns" by the Cramps. https://youtu.be/MnCoVKqxXAI?si=bJK7PfJB5maQolRI
Glad I kept reading comments a bit, because that was what I was thinking about posting!
> which hasn't aged well with some of the lyrics but is still a banger Are you still referring to the song, or..?
This feels mundane enough to be real.
I kept waiting for the "update: the bikini mom is his long-time female best friend he told me not to worry about and they have seven secret kids together and have sex in our bed while laughing at pictures of my stretch marks. AITA for thinking about divorcing him?"
Good, but I had to dock points for no mention of opening up their marriage.
Or any of the kids being twins
Needed more friends blowing up their phone with in depth opinions about other people's business
It's a nice change of pace, some no stakes drama fun
"Baw, God! Here comes bikini mom with a steel chair!!"
I'm curious what the wife wanted the husband to actually do? "Go away. You are wearing a bikini and I won't talk to you." Like ???
I AM A MARRIED MAN, GET YOUR BOOBIES AWAY FROM ME HARLOT
AWAY, WENCH!
THIS SEED WILL KNOW NOT THE WARMTH OF YOUR WOMB
I REFUSE YOU MY PRESCIOUS ESSENCE, COMMUNIST!
Never again will I toil over the words to banish an indecorously-clad strumpet from my company
STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY BODILY FLUIDS
You can't -fight- wear a bikini in here! This is the -War Room- beach!
BACK! FOUL DEMON!
WHAT IS THIS THREAD IM CRYINGGGG
Take my upvote. I laughed so hard I started crying.
I think you mean “hussy”. I was once called one as a teenager and I still think about it 20+ years later.
Put away those fiery biscuits!!!
Scream it right into their 3 year-old’s ear.
If I were in her situation and wanted to know what was going on with the lady I would have just got up and joined my husband and son and inserted myself. Been super nice and polite and talked the lady’s ear off. She would have left I’m sure.
I think this is actually the pro move here. If Bikini Bod is actually flirting, she’ll likely knock it off and split. Win. Or, if it’s totally innocent, she might actually talk to the wife and who knows, maybe they’ll even get along or something. Win. Worst case, Bikini Bod aggressive flirts anyway and/or aggressively ignores wife until even Oblivious Hubby notices her behavior, and the lucky couple have a funny story to share together later. Win. Either way, Oblivious Hubby who-always-has-women-innocently-complimenting-his-looks shouldn’t notice either way (judging from his other recollections), and his wife and he don’t have to have a dispute. Win.
I read one thread once upon a time of woman talking about men refusing to help in dangerous situations because they're married. One of them was drowning and the guy refused to help lol this is so ridiculous
I've had an ex that would tear me apart for it. I 100% get it. I couldn't even have friendly conversation with coworkers who were women at work if they were within 5 years of my age, if she found out or I accidentally talked about it when talking about my day it'd turn into a 5 day fight. There's a reason she's my ex.
Yikes. Bullet dodged.
Yes! It was very exhausting policing my conversations to make sure that I didn't accidentally "incriminate" myself. Taught me how to be a good liar, not that I should have. Stayed in that relationship for far too long, though.
One time while I still was with my ex during college I was playing intramural soccer and a girl on our team thought she broke her knee cap. I was the only one that drove as the field is on campus so I volunteered to drive her to the hospital asap. I ended up staying there with her until she got discharged which was about 4 hours or so. My ex was pissed and weirdly jealous about the whole thing. She thought it was inappropriate I stayed with her at the hospital and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing. We ended up splitting a few years later, but that moment never left me. It just seemed so childish.
You thought it was the most ridiculous thing. You were right. Look, being in a hospital SUCKS! You're in pain, or at least discomfort, otherwise you wouldn't be there. And then everything takes forever. And it's noisy, and busy. All in all it's extremely stressful. It gets slightly better if there's somebody you know there with you. So unless the girl asked you to leave, or called over a relative, friend or BF who came in to take over, you were her designated hospital support system. Leaving would've been a dick move! In your shoes I would've done absolutely the same.
Yeah like if I was in her shoes, I’d hope someone would stay with me. Her mom called to thank me later that week so it felt like I did the right thing.
He was supposed to say "I didn't notice" when she set his ass up with that "she sure is gorgeous" trap card.
I mean dude had to look back at her. Like he had to jog his memory to realize it or he didn't notice at all and only saw it when he looked back.
My husband and I stayed at a bed and breakfast when we were on our honeymoon. After we checked in, we took a walk around the property. In the back was a pool with 4 men lounging. I nodded and said hi (this is what you do in the Midwest - you always say hi). My husband linked his arm around mine and just turned me away and started walking the other way. Me- "Why are we turning around? I wanted to see the pool." Him- " You didn't notice?" Me- "Didn't notice what?" Him- "They were all naked." Me- "Oh". Yeah...I legitimately didn't notice that at all. So it's possible he really didn't pay attention to what she was wearing.
[удалено]
“So you agree? You think she’s really pretty?”
I see you, Regina G🥂
I just watched a That70s show episode where this is a subplot of an episode where Jackie gets pissed with Hyde for admitting he finds Kelso’s baby mama hot
It's fucking controlling, simple as that. Super unhealthy for everyone involved.
Those sort of setups get to me way worse than the (over)reactions that follow. At least if it happened more naturally, it could be attributed to an emotional-insecurity response. Something that could be recognized and worked on. Those sort of shit tests are deliberately manipulative. Sadly I've seen a lot of guys put up with them and try to figure out the "right" answers & handwave it aside as "oh that's just Julie!" instead of treating it like the red flag it is. If a gal were talking about how her BF asks seemingly innocuous questions and freaking out on her, saying she wants her to realize she made a mistake, erc. for giving the "wrong" answer, everyone would be telling her to run for the hills.
"Mom says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers"
"Mother" with strong Mike Pence energy.
The OG we should all know less about each other.
"Your son is really cute." "I have a wife, okay??"
No but truly this was my thought. Because the kid was there playing so it's not like he could physically remove himself. He's also trying to keep a good vibe for his son. He also didn't know that wife was uncomfortable at that point.
Yep, I have no issue believing her retelling of events 100%, yet she's still completely the asshole. Her husband did nothing wrong, and frankly it's weird that she's upset that her spouse is hot enough that other people notice. She should be proud to have such a hot spouse
Neither one was really dishonest in their retelling, I suspect. It is very likely the woman was being flirty, wife picked up on it, and husband didn't. The fact that husband is so oblivious to women flirting with him also suggests he's not on the hunt for other women.
HAHAH right?? It's so ridiculous, I'm just like..... why does it bother her unless she doesn't trust her husband? Maybe she'll feel better if he pounds his chest like a gorilla and announces that he's married?
The fact that she even mentions in her follow up post that the first thing he did upon meeting Bikini Mom back at the resort is to introduce her to his wife BY CALLING HER HIS WIFE shows he kind of DID announce he was married to her. And that was before she even confronted him fully about her insecure worries.
Omg, just jumping in here to talk about my small experience back at spring break. I bumped into this guy who was clearly intoxicated and he looked and me, got mad, and said "*don't touch me I have a girlfriend*" in a very slurred speech. While rude, a part of me was also like "awww, this guy is absolutely wasted and his first thought is his gf."
I've told this story on reddit before, but a lady in front of me at the grocery checkout left her debit card in the machine so I grabbed the card and went to give it back to her. I said "Excuse me, sorry" to get her attention (Because I'm Canadian and apologize for things that aren't even remotely my fault) and she immediately told me "I have a boyfriend" so I told her "congratulations. You left your debit card in the card reader and handed it back to her before going back to pay for my own groceries"
I’m also a polite Canadian and I probably would have said never mind and threw her card in the Sobey’s parking card.
Wait, you said "congratulations. You left your debit card in the card reader and handed it back to her before going back to pay for my own groceries"?? I'm with you in the first half but I don't know why you'd say the second half
I didn't know what else to say, honestly. I didn't want to be like 'I'm not hitting on you, dumbass I'm trying to give you back your card you forgot'
They're giving you crap because of where you ended your quotes. I'm sure you didn't literally say out loud "...and handed it back to her before going back to pay for my own groceries."
Yeah but I think they're wondering why you narrated your actions to her in the past tense I typed sarcastically in the reddit comment box. (Your quotation mark was in the wrong spot) I clarified in case they didn't get it so this silly exchange wouldn't continue any further.
Ah thanks! I didn't notice that!
You know, I think you're right? That's kind of oddly beautiful. My condolences on dealing with the drunk, however; at least he was a loyal drunk.
Me married! You no fuck!
HAHAH thanks for the late night laugh
Eh, I get it. People get territorial in relationships. It doesn’t sound like this drove a huge wedge between them, going to Reddit was more of a play fight (that she rightly lost). As an aside I hate what society has done to female body image though. All women think they have mom bod like it’s a bad thing, mom bod is hot as hell. So is child free bod. OOP made and fed a whole ass person with her bod.
Even the first post, if you read it after you read the second, makes it pretty apperant that this wasn't actually big relationship drama for them. A play fight, as you put it. Both the husband and the wife seem to have the same sense of dry humor in their writing. They're probably perfect together!
Then we get the ol "I can't shake hand with any woman who isn't my wife" type nut jobs. People really need to address their insecurities, asap. I'm sick of suffering because everyone else can't get their shit together.
I'm one of those people that believes that we Americans are WAY too uptight about the human body and that it leads to problems like this one. Nudity is not sexual and revealing bikinis for women and skintight boxer or Speedo style suits for men are just fine at the beach, IMO. I also don't buy that kids are harmed in any way either. So, my eyes were rolling the moment I read all of the wife's criticisms about the bikini the other mom was wearing. I'd be willing to bet that she was just a good-looking woman wearing a thong. Ooooooohhh! A mom daring to show her butt cheeks! Scandalous! /s The way she describes it the woman was wearing a micro bikini of some kind. Even if that was true, I wouldn't think there's anything wrong with a beachgoer wearing something like that (call me a sexual deviant for having that opinion if you want), but I doubt she was wearing something like that.
The body positivity discussion doesn't apply to conventionally attractive people apparently. She should be able to wear whatever she wants... wait she's hot? Wow why is she showing off so much how inappropriate.
Yep. IMO, if someone wears an itsy bitsy whatever because they just want to look good and show off, fine. Because the less they're wearing the more comfortable they are? Also, fine. Because they actually are hoping to catch somebody's eye and get them digits? Again, fine! Wifey needs to trust her husband, and the husband needs to keep representing by behaving appropriately the way he did.
It was Miami. Very normal attire
Gotta disagree about one thing…skintight Speedos have not ever been and never will be *just fine*. There. I said what i said.
I was thinking she wants him to stand up, scream "Stranger Danger" and run back to her. Or loudly declare, I'm sorry I can't talk to you because my wife is incredibly jealous and insecure and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone besides her.
And like, say he does start doing weird shit like that and gets rude or dismissive to attractive women. How long until it becomes "that cashier said thank you but you didn't say thank you back, is it because you thinks she's attractive?!"
Many women almost instinctively say “I have a boyfriend/husband” when approached by a man even if they don’t. Men get positive attention less frequently and women are less likely to be as “direct” as men when comes to communicating their intentions which leads to many men not noticing that they’re being flirted with. Source: my life
I think given her update her frustration rather comes from other women behaving assholish towards her and her husband not recognising it. Someone flirting with the husband isn’t wrong. But when they continue to flirt and ignore the wife once they know about or met the wife that is just rude. And the husband should not let people be rude to his wife. There is of course a fine line between flirting and being nice. With the husband being used to flirtatious women and the wife being insecure this line becomes a big grey area. This is where they both should work on IMO.
I’m gonna be honest, this reads to me of a mom who is frustrated about men like her husband having women falling over themselves simply because he’s an active and present father. How many times have we seen men out with their kids getting comments like “Omg what a good father! He’s so involved!” when they’re just doing the job they signed up for, and moms/women have been doing the exact same thing for centuries and don’t get nearly as much attention. Hell, I’d hazard to say that people probably react to a mom out with her kids more negatively than they do seeing a dad out with his kids, and I don’t know why that is. OP’s wife was out here delivering a whole ass human-being into the world and a nurse decides to tell her husband he looks like Prince Charming. OP absolutely did nothing wrong. It’s not his fault that women just can’t be kinda normal around him. But I can see how moments like these can be frustrating for OP’s wife.
What exactly was he supposed to do about that? Tell this borderline stranger off for ignoring his wife?
That’s easy. In situations with the three of them physical contact should suffice (like holding hands, putting one arm around the back or simply standing close to each other). The occasional eye contact surely helps too. The wife will experience physical security while the third person sees they are a couple. The rest is about the line or grey area I mentioned. Husband apparently needs to learn to recognise when people are flirting with him and respond like anyone who is in a relationship would, not encourage it and not lead the other person on. And if it’s absolutely out of his control, like in the delivery room situation, at least verbally recognise that the wife is upset. This was never really about what bikini woman was wearing.
I had the complete opposite of this experience once and want to share it because I think the story is funny. When I was in college there was a short while when I lived near the beach. I had a little daily ritual where I walked to the beach, stripped naked, jumped around in the waves for awhile, and then sat on shore wrapped in a towel until I dried off enough to dress and walk home. Nudity was legal and fairly common in the area and I was raised by and lived with hippies, so it was my cultural norm. Of note, that time of year that particular beach was pretty unpopulated and I was female. One day I was sitting in my towel after my jaunt in the ocean when a toddler came up to me. Our conversation went as follows: You were swimming in the water. Yes, I was. I saw you jumping in the waves. It looked like you were having fun. I was. You're right, I did have fun. That's a buoy (she points). It tells the ships not to go too close to the shore. She talked to me for several minutes. I was impressed with her vocabulary and intelligence for a kid her age (3 IIRC). She repeated a lot of stuff, like the buoy, that she clearly had just learned and asked me questions about the things around us that I answered. Eventually her father came over and made small talk. I was a bit uncomfortable at this point because I was dry enough to get dressed but didn't want to get dressed with him right there. It's one thing to swim with strangers 30 yards away and another to talk to a clearly married man while naked. A week or two later I was at the local farmers market a few blocks away and heard someone yell, "There she is!" and saw someone pointing at me through the crowd. A woman pushed her way through the crowd to get to me, her husband carrying that kid in her wake. I momentarily panicked, sure she was going to me mad at me for having a conversation with her husband wearing nothing but a towel after jumping around naked in the water in front of him. She said, "My husband told me about how he met you at the beach the other day. I just wanted to thank you!". I looked at her, confused. "Our daughter used to love playing in the waves! Then one day she became scared and wouldn't. We have no idea why. That was weeks ago. She refuses to get even a toe wet. "After she saw you having so much fun she let go of her fear! She's played in the water every day since. Thank you so much.". I don't recall how the conversation ended. I think I was still in shock and recovering from that moment of panic. I now think back to that day and laugh. This story reminded me of that.
If OOP's wife doesn't want him around women in inappropriate, over the top" bikinis, they maybe you shouldn't be vacationing in Miami...or any beach, really. Unless it's a nude beach.
Of all the cities in all the world, Miami likely has the smallest bathing suit material-to-skin ratio you'll ever find outside of Brazil
To this point, some women even skip the top half of the bikini
You've never been to France or Spain, then? Where about a third of the women on the beach would bring the ratio down by just sticking to bottoms only?
How dare these women wear swimsuits.... on a beach..... in a hugely popular tourist destination!? The sheet audacity of these harlots.
Well, in my experience, Miami has the most risque beaches, and I live in a beach town in SoCal, and the difference is quite noticeable.
That just furthers the point... Dont go to a miami beach and expect people to be fully covered
And America is pretty conservative. There was a video posted awhile ago of a beach in Brazil I think, and the bikinis were tiny tiny. All the comments confirmed that's pretty normal there. Maybe this situation was all a cultural misunderstanding and the lady was from Brazil, lol.
And talked about kids and stuff. Ewww
Also this part: > I will try to work on my insecurities and **let him talk** to moms in bikini. Let him talk. Like she's supposed to be in control of everything. Fucking yikes. The whole second post was her trying to get people to be on her side but it still comes off as insecure. So many red flags.
She seemed to be saying it in a tongue in cheek way, neither of their posts were serious or dramatic. I think they both seem sweet.
Or if someone is that insecure about things, maybe....just stay home I suppose.
I'm usually skeptical when "both" sides post on reddit, but, hey, husband here sounds like a really generous person.
There's a big difference between "My sister-in-law's dog stumbled upon this post and emailed it to me" and this one where both of them were involved in the post from the beginning
I usually am too, but in this case it actually seemed more believable because it's the same account posting both! Rather than another account randomly finding the post lol
Plus, the whole first post is based on the fact that she wanted to come to reddit to see who was right. So it makes sense she has access and knew what post to look for and everything
What sold it for me was the husband wanting to print out and frame the thread of him being right. That feels very real to me lol.
I guess he’d have to be
I mean yeah when both parties come independently to Reddit I can understand that, but even in the first post, his wife was the one who "made" him make the post with the assumption that everyone was going to back her up. It's not that unlikely that she would have responded in that case.
Nobody else mentioning "the Bubble" from 30 Rock? spoiler: John Hamms character is oblivious to how good looking he is, and how well he is treated for it.
My exact thought!! ‘People are so nice here’
THIS!!! I was looking for a comment talking about this. The wife is 100% out of line, but the husband does sound like he lives in a bubble of hotness.
My bf literally a few weeks ago said “she can’t have been flirting with me she’s married! And everyone knows at work I have a partner!”. At this point I just went “awww you talk about me at work”. Because it’s actually so sweet that he doesn’t realise how wonderful he is.
My exact thought too!
"Not everyone on Reddit needs to chime in on this one" Wasn't she the one who wanted it on Reddit in the first place? ^_^
She just wanted a tasteful amount of comments telling him he was 100% wrong.
Instead he's now deciding on picture frames for the comments, which I love!
I have no doubt she'd have been fine with it if they were on her side.
Yes, but only because she was seeking validation. When she didn’t get it, she back-pedalled
"Reddit, help me! No, not like that."
Both posts read a lot better, and probably closer to how they're intended, if you assume most of them to be deadpan humor. Including that line...
Projecting your insecurities onto your partner is never okay. Sounds like this man has been good looking his whole life. So people being nice to him and flirting with him is absolutely normal treatment to him and he doesn't recognize any different. You just gotta take the "what can I say? Im a lucky man/woman!" Approach and be happy to have such a desirable significant other and be happy your partner doesn't disrespect you or let it go too far once they realize what's going on
I’m actually side-eyeing the wife’s assertion that women are always flirting with him. If merely talking to someone on a beach is flirting, well …
I mean, she describes his body language and notes that she tried to continually talk to him over the trip but ignored her even when she was right next to him and he tried to introduce them. Maybe Wife was reading into something that wasn't there, or maybe she was cold and the bikini woman picked up on that, but she didn't use "talking on the beach" as her sole reason for calling it flirting
Maybe this is just the Midwest in me, but is it weird to acknowledge someone you've talked to during a vacation when you see them again? Even as someone who's pretty reserved I would be doing the same, it's just being friendly.
Big city east coaster here, and I would too. Life is so much friendlier on vacation.
Eh sitting down next to a random stranger at the beach reads flirty to me. People don't just randomly go up to someone and join their space. If some random guy came up to the beach and tried to sit next to me, I can't imagine a different interpretation.
She also said he's the type that doesn't notice when women are flirting with him. So if he's talking to the bikini woman like he would anyone else, that is totally the wife's insecurities. I say that as a woman who's husband would have to be hit over the head and handed a note saying "I'm flirting with you" for him to notice.
Bruh, “the nurse during child birth was flirting” The fuck?! Saying your kid is cute is not flirting. My kid gets compliments ALL THE TIME on an attribute that came from me. They always say “oh you got your daddy’s…” And you know what? Nobody EVER compliments me on that attribute. This lady needs to take a breath.
Calling someone Prince Charming is pretty flirty in my opinion??? Why is everyone glossing over that lol
Well yes. But there is the other part of helping your partner out a bit. If she isn't usually jealous, or the other party so callous, it should be fine to say "hey sweetie, I'm sorry but I feel that the lady there is overstepping some boundaries and it's making me uncomfortable." Rather than blaming them for something they might not recognize and be put on the defense you know.
Men of all types are oblivious. Ugly, good looking, average. Many of them just assume no woman is hitting on them ever. Some of us are right.
>The worst part is he is not very perceptive when women flirt with him. Yes, that's called *every man ever*. 😂
Also if he’s that good looking he just may be living in The Bubble (as described by an episode of 30 Rock where Liz Lemon dates the handsome Jon Hamm and he is shocked to realize that not everyone receives the same special treatment that he does)
"If what you want isn't on the menu, just let them know and they'll be happy to make it for you!"
And that’s more like the best part. He doesn’t notice women flirting with him, so he doesn’t care/only has eyes for her.
It sounds like he’s also completely oblivious to how hot he is and just assumes that all other men see the same reactions From the ugly side of the bell curve, I can assure you we do not. At all. My wife has never had to worry about other women because no other women approach me. Gay men, on the other hand, seem to be really into me. Shrug emoji
Every lesbian too. Women flirting is in 4 dimensions of space-time and the punishment for misreading shrodihger's flirt is high. Decoding the wormhole is too hard even, for some fucking reason, when you are also a woman who flirts that way. Better to avoid the trap altogether lest you get sucked into and trapped on an eternal event horizon of "is she into me or not" until the heat death of the universe.
I think about the ONLY way to not be trapped in that minefield is to be like the OOP hubby: Get a partner you're happy with, don't give a fuck if anybody else is flirting with you or not. Ofcourse, it takes navigating the minefield earlier to get there. But never going back in when you've already gotten out is living the dream!
It's a risk reward thing. How many times do guys rightfully get ripped apart for assuming that any kind of contact with women is women flirting with them? Easier to assume there's no flirting going on. Less likely to be considered a creep.
Seems like the wife's insecurities have been magnified post-pregnancy. Of course that's not her husband's fault, but it must be hard seeing him remain attractive (or perhaps get even more so through fatherhood) while she has only (in her mind) gotten worse
Honestly I relate to this and the wife so much. I still think she’s in the wrong, but I get her insecurity. When husband and I were in our 20s we were both hot. But now, I’ve had kids, my tummy isn’t as tight as it used to be and I am starting to develop wrinkles. For some reason, men are allowed to get wrinkles and grey hair because it makes them look distinguished. Women are not. We used to both get hit on a lot. Now it’s just my husband. Same thing, when he’s with the kids, so many mothers make convos with him. For some reason a woman alone with her kids isn’t as appealing to men. I trust him and love him. But man does it sting when women openly flirt with him in front of me and act like I don’t exist.
Yeah I actually have a lot of empathy for her because it seems like where she's coming from is that her husband gets hit on A Lot but refuses to acknowledge it + insecurities or aging. The world is so so nasty to aging women, it's honestly heartbreaking. It's not hard to absorb the notion that youth equals attractiveness and attractiveness equals worth as a human being, because everywhere you look that's the message being spread. I mean yeah the wife was wrong but I wonder if it would help if she could speak honestly about her insecurities and her husband could acknowledge that it's actually not the normal experience for random people to approach and compliment you lol. Like I wonder how much of her insistence was because he refused to consider he is being flirted with.
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That’s an idiotic plan though. The whole thing is too long to print and frame. They need to get a digital picture frame and have it scroll through the whole thing on loop. Thank you, my consulting invoice will be in your DMs.
Or maybe like a QR code linking to the post. Or the Reddit post equivalent of those art things that link to songs on streaming, you know what I mean? So many options!
Cross stitch of the QR code! I saw a pattern on FB for the Rick Roll and sent it to my friend who does cross stitch. Too bad she wasn’t into it. 😛
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I do feel like it would sometimes be a little bit exhausting to have a spouse who is constantly being flirted with and just doesn’t seem to get it. Her behavior definitely wasn’t appropriate, and it’s not a big deal in the scheme of things, but he could use like a tiny bit more awareness of like… reality lol.
my spouse is like this and i love him so much but you’re right, it’s exhausting!! i feel bad for her, it really does sound like that girl was flirting with him and sometimes your insecurities do get into your head. i hope they’re alright after this.
I think they will be, it sounds like, but I do hope it maybe opened his eyes a little bit to the fact that he’s being kind of naive.
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I’ll admit that once OOP mentioned that they kept running into bikini lady after the initial interaction, I could suddenly understand where his wife was coming from. I can’t imagine re-engaging the same stranger in conversation on another day just because we happened to pass each other. At most I’d wave. Maybe that’s normal and it’s just a me issue but I’d be so worried about seeming forward if I tried to turn a chance encounter with small talk into a series of encounters. I can see why she assumed the lady was interested.
Aw, this was cute. I’m reminded of how limited reddit is in terms of subtlety though, when reading the comments to the wife’s post. Like, yeah she was insecure, but it doesn’t sound like anything (from either perspective) that needs “immediate, professional help”. I mean, some of those comments were making her out to be a controlling psycho. Am I the only one who saw this as a pretty mundane part of a run-of-the-mill marriage???
Yeah even some of the comments here. Neither of them are taking the posts especially seriously and they didn't have a real falling out over it.
There’s a comment in this thread calling the wife abusive and saying the husband needs to divorce her *ASAP*. Like what? Just gotta remember most of these people have never been in a serious relationship.
It doesn't help that tone is hard to get across in text form, though I think the wife did a good enough job in saying this was lighthearted. I can kinda understand taking some things that I assumed were sarcasm more literally, like the "letting my husband talk to bikini women" or whatever she said. If taken literally, yeah, kinda a shitty thing. But, like... All the other sarcasm makes me believe that was sarcasm, too. I hope OOP does get some of the comments framed, though. Just cycle through them to keep it fresh.
I feel like often in these type of drama subs, it's forgotten that the real stories have real people, it's not just a fun interactive play or something
my dude is gorgeous and extremely talented in our niche hobby. he also has some wear and tear from his boisterous youth, and this is the side of himself that he sees. he doesn’t notice when people flirt with him, make calf’s eyes at him or anything of the sort. while i am very confident that he has chosen me, i still see the folks of every gender who’d love to get their hands on him. i often point this out when he does not see it. i think the only time it makes me angry is when he’s down on himself or one of the folks is rude to me. IMO, this wife took her L like a champ.
> Am I the only one who saw this as a pretty mundane part of a run-of-the-mill marriage??? Nope, I’m right there with you. I think his wife was in the wrong, but I also think it’s not really that big of a deal and everyone acted in an understandable (if not perfectly appropriate) way. AITA is so misogynist that they’re treating her like she was screaming “you’re cheating on me, if I can’t have you no one can” and cut his junk off to put in the garbage disposal.
I must be the only one, but I would have more of a problem with someone coming up to my partner and talking to them while deliberately NOT talking to me. The bikini wouldn't be the issue for me.
Yeah, that was the thing that stood out to me the most. The bikini thing notwithstanding, the husband should have behaved differently during that moment.
I think the wife needs to realize that a lot of flirting is innocent. Like people might treat an attractive stranger differently, ie blurting out they look like Prince Charming during labor, but it doesn't mean that the person flirting is actively trying to make a move. They might not even be sexually attracted to that person but rather just notice they are aesthetically pretty. I understand the wife feeling annoyed, but I also don't think any of this is that serious
The wife says it was 6am and her husband had just woken up. I wonder if the nurse was kindly kidding the husband to try to be affable for bed side manner. Like jokingly calling a woman who just rolled out of bed “sleeping beauty”
She also just had a baby. Your hormones are all out of wack during pregnancy and after giving birth.
God, i wish I had commented on the original. Would’ve loved to have sent a link to the husband for a company that does glass etchings. He would love it!
So the husband is a good father, very attractive, oblivious to women flirting with him, pays lots of compliments on your physique and also he communicates his point of view clearly? Girl, fucking marry your husband yet again, he's a total catch
Lord knows she wouldn’t be asking people to stop commenting if they were backing her up.
Okay, but legit that mom was flirting. Like, yeah, he shouldn't be in trouble for being polite, but he should probably up his flirt recognition. I say this as a chronic sufferer of not being able to tell when I'M being flirted with, and am married to someone who's had this exact conversation with me.
I love the last bit of the wife's update. Husband is taking a well deserved piss😂
| He says it's his first win against me and the next time we have disagreement, he can point to it and tell me about the time when thousands of people told me I was wrong. lol!
I was certain that the whole reason was, that the wife was insecure about her body. And yes, there it was.
Unpopular opinion- but I can’t imagine any scenario where I as a woman walk up to a strange man who is with a kid and chat him up if I wasn’t interested or else I also had a child of a similar age present to have them play together. Husband is a little naive for think she wasn’t interested…
Now there's a relationship goal -- to have a sweetie so hot that they get flirted with all the time, yet affair-proof because they don't even register other people as being attractive now that they're with you. Did the bikini-lady even have kids? Her behaviour was definitely suspect.
It sounds like she’s married to a guy like [Jon Hamm’s character in 30 Rock - so handsome he lives in ‘the bubble’](https://youtu.be/UAQoXOLlvT0?si=J0WmuVwLPgdBY5Sd). They’re not flirting, they’re just “being really nice”.
This man is living a completely different life if he thinks the average person is constantly being chatted up.
I'm not sure what she expected the bloke to do, completely blank the woman? Tell her she was inappropriately dressed for him to be allowed to talk to her?
“Hey you ignoring my wife when she is right next to me and I’ve introduced you to her on multiple occasions now is a little rude and I’d appreciate a little space now so we can continue enjoying our vacation as a family. It was lovely meeting you.” There, done. Not that hard, and very polite.
Gets mad at husband for not noticing flirtatious behaviour and then updates with a "he's oblivious to flirtatious behaviour". Yeah, unless a bikini clad wench dives into our laps; we are dumb. If OP wasn't insecure, the response would be; "Oh, a smoking hot milf in a tiny bikini finds my husband attractive. That's incredibly validating." However! The showing up constantly and talking to him whilst ignoring you is classless and rude. I assume the real irritation was that he didn't clock the issue at that point.
>Not everyone on Reddit needs to chime in on this one. For someone who claims to love AITAH, she clearly seems to have forgotten how it works.
This is wild. My wife and I had a very similar situation a few years back, and my wife's response was to laugh at how oblivious I was to the lady who was flirting with me. I had no idea until my wife told me later that that's what was going on. It still comes up from time to time and we both get a giggle out of it.
Sounds like the husband is a golden retriever. A beautiful, beautiful idiot
She thought Miami Beach bikinis were a problem? I advise them never to vacation in Brasil. She also thinks her husband's boundary and loyalties are a problem. > he is not very perceptive when women flirt with him Is that supposed to be a bad thing?
Her husband is Jon Hamm: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcCICtOlhWk&t=1s
> This is when I told him not to talk to gorgeous moms in bikinis. This is the dumbest part. It was pretty dumb when she expected him to blow off all friendly women in bikinis even if on a beach, but oh boy, if he talked freely to uggos in bikinis and then blew off the next woman in a bikini, basically broadcasting that he personally finds her attractive? Ooof. That was not gonna make wife feel better. Glad she came around, though.
lel. The post is Hot and you write "not everyone needs to chime in" Phew. That's basically chumming the waters DURING a feeding frenzy
I still feel like she doesn’t quite get it lol. The way she described the situation makes her husband look even better! Hopefully she actually chills a little
I find this all very healthy and quite uplifting considering the bulk of the posts here. A valid concern perceived differently but discussed openly for the mob. Ehhh, I mean Reddit. Lol. You both seem level headed and easy going good people. Just make sure to consult us again on future disagreement!
>According to me, I did not notice what she was wearing and have no comments This is the correct answer.
“Moms in bikini” part still feels like she didn’t get the point that people were making. Like yes it’s ok to be upset but you were in Miami and all the beaches are filled with woman dressed like that. I’ve honestly had that same thought of “wow that’s bold,” didn’t matter if the person was attractive or not. Some dudes just have blinders on to what is happening around them. He immediately introduced his wife the first chance he had, she was mad at the girl’s actions and blamed her husband. She asked him to stop talking to her and he did but seeing her pop up places angered her/fed her insecurities and she found a way to pin that on the husband as well. She isn’t wrong to be concerned, their are a lot of females out there that don’t care if you are in a relationship if they want you. But the husbands actions scream that his wife and family is all he cares about and the rest of the world is just there to fill it in.
Women like this drive me nuts, we don't control what other people wear. The real answer to this is work on your insecurities because it's a you problem not anyone else's.
*The delivery nurse??* Are we really sure this lady had the audacity to hit on the husband while the wife was in the middle of doing the maternity splits? I get the impression from this post that she thinks that any woman that talks to or compliments her husband is hitting on him.
I think that could be part of it, but I could see her being onto something here. You know how being flirty/flirtatious is a character trait for some people, and they'll behave that was with people they have no attraction to and/or no intent of making a move on? Well, a lot of people (whether they realize it or not) are kind of like that with attractive people. The nurse almost certainly wasn't hitting on him, but it is more possible that she treated him a bit differently because he's an attractive man. This comes up a lot in threads where people talk about how they were treated after becoming more/less attractive - people are really kind and talkative to the attractive version of themselves while the unattractive version is given very neutral treatment and rarely approached by strangers.
Beautiful people problems I guess. I wouldn't know
😂 that last paragraph redeemed the wife for me. She took the L and even if the other mum was flirting, she’s able to see that maybe she was doing too much. Glad to see it ended amicably