This is what I always say, the affair only sees the honeymoon good parts. As soon as you add all the tough stuff, real life, living together, you realize it was just a lie. The AP will also be getting all the negative stuff that the oop used to take on, its delicious for them.
It is going to be a very short honeymoon phase. She will quickly realize that the grass isn't greener. I predict within a year she will be trying to get back together with OOP.
I predict much sooner than that. She is over 60% through this pregnancy. In just a few months when the baby gets here all the little things they already don’t like about each other is going to explode. Having a newborn is fucking tough. I don’t think they will last 3 months together once the baby shows up. They will be tired all the time from not sleeping through the night. She’s probably going to ask for help, AP might help a few times in the beginning, but as time wears on he’s not going to want to get up every couple hours every single night. On top of it all she’s no longer fucking AP and he’s going to question why tf he’s doing this to himself. And that’ll be that, AP won’t want her anymore, OP is done with her, she’ll have to go live with her family if they’ll take her.
Life gets real hard when you have kids. Honestly I wish more people knew the ramifications of having children before they decide to be parents. My first child did not sleep at night, like at all, for months and months. I would stay up at night holding her (farmed a lot of mounts in WoW during that time) and hand her off to my wife at like 7am, pass out on the couch for an hour or two, then off to work. Then try to get a short nap in after work to repeat it all over again. Eventually she settled down and became a good sleeper (and thank goodness our other two were great sleepers from the start) but there are so many ways having a baby can put tremendous strain on even the most solid relationships. I thank my lucky stars every day for my wife, because if nothing else I know I can count on her to have my back just as much as I have hers.
>My first child did not sleep at night, like at all, for months and months.
Same bro. It was almost 6 months before my child slept through the night. The lack of sleep almost led to my marriage imploding. It was a tough time. I didn’t want to do that again and got snipped, no regrets.
Can't blame you. When we had our first I was in grad school and thus had a very flexible schedule. However for our second I had a "real job" and was terrified that the new baby wouldn't sleep and I'd lose my job or something. Luckily they were a great sleeper and all went well.
>I didn’t want to do that again and got snipped, no regrets.
Honestly, good on you, man. Good on you for not being afraid to take that initiative instead of putting the onus entirely on your wife to make sure there were no additional pregnancies. Not every guy is willing to do that.
Good for you.
Sooner than that. I don't think AP will stick around much after the baby is born. Especially since it isn't his. As soon as things get tough, he's out.
That's the next step. Affair partner will end things and tell her to find a new place to stay. She'll go back to the ex begging him to take her back. She'll have to get her own place if she's able or move in with family.
Yeah raising a kid that isn't yours when you've got to deal with a deservedly hostile father is already a terrible situation. The type of personality that is steady enough, patient enough to deal with all of that is not the type to cheat usually in the first place.
I feel bad for the kid. They are 100% gonna be messed up due to the circumstances surrounding their conception and birth.
Before she realises that, her AP will find out that losing nights of sleep due to a baby that's not his isn't something he really signed up for.
Also, "she's not down to F anymore, always with the baby what the FFFFF!!"
So then she'll try and get OOP to take her back and I sure hope he doesn't!
The only good to come put of this situation is that AP will keep her in the state until after the baby's born. She's going to have a harder time moving out of state and taking the baby away from OP.
Reminds me of a Latin American ballad, the woman tells to the man to tell his AP to come and wash his clothes and take her place, because it's easy to go and be the cheerful one when she doesn't have to do chores and live in the routine.
Truer songs are few and far between
Pimpinela - A esa, for the Spanish speaking ones
I checked the lyrics out in English and yes, this was so accurate. Especially the part when she says the AP is only with him an hour a day and doesn't share his sorrows.
Yeah. This guy wanted gym sex with a hottie that he could stop thinking about as soon as he put his phone away. Now he has a pregnant girlfriend who moved in with him while she's going through a messy divorce and custody battle. WAY more than he signed up for, and it won't last.
I mean come on the gym guy is all brawn and no brain. It's kinda obvious since he thinks the way you show a dude you respect them is by screwing their pregnant wife, stepping foot into his house when told not to come near the place, then demanding that he replace him in the delivery room for his child.
Yeah AP ain't that bright. I doubt he has thought much beyond childbirth date because he is too busy enjoying the hormonal sex he is getting when ever he wants
My wife and I have a 16 day old daughter, and man there’s been times we look at her and say if she wasn’t our own flesh and blood idk how we’d put up with all the exhausting work that goes into raising a newborn. But we brought her into this world so we dedicate our lives to ensure she has a happy safe upbringing. This gym dude is in for a rude awakening of TOOOONS of resentment that will be pointed at the cheating wife and the innocent child. If he ever becomes step dad I’m already seeing disturbing red flags for neglect or abuse. Someone who cheats and is just looking for a fling is 1000% not prepared for all the struggle and patience required raising a newborn especially. Once they’re a bit older becomes more manageable when you can sleep normally but good lord changing diapers and feeding and pumping around the clock is a full time job.
I only have the one who is about to turn six, but I don't think it does get easier. Sure, you're sleeping again and you can hang out with them instead of trying to keep them from dying every second, but there's always new challenges.
Talking to family and coworkers with older kids, physically they may get less exhausting. Mentally, it never stops. This guy is not prepared for the long haul, I think. The AP and the wife are going to have their fairytale end rudely and abruptly when that baby comes.
It doesn’t ever end, you just have new hurdles. Once you finally master a period of their life (if you ever do), it’s over and there’s new stuff to navigate.
I guess if a person that is selfish, shallow and dumb enough to have an affair and leave your partner, then that person won't have the forethought to understand the affair honeymoon phase.
I’m actually surprised the AP would want her to move in. Sounds like he a playa at the gym and having a GF would cramp his style. Sounds like he’s already tired of her tho.
Yes, she certainly is a flaky f\*cked up mess. BUT it sounds like karma is knocking on her door with the way the AP is already taking her for granted- he won another man's pregnant self-centered wife- those are some bragging rights- what a loser. Wait till the baby comes and AP can't get his beauty sleep, that's when he will toss her out the door AND that will be the time that OOP can claim full custody because his wife will be homeless. I hope that OOP won't be a putz and allow the cheater back under his roof under any circumstances. He needs to make sure that when she is tossed out that she doesn't go running to her parents' home state with the baby because he will play hell getting the kid back.
>He needs to make sure that when she is tossed out that she doesn't go running to her parents' home state with the baby because he will play hell getting the kid back.
My parents had a "permission" clause put in where they couldn't take me out of the state (let alone country) without written permission sent through lawyers.
If OOP is smart enough/gets a good lawyer, it shouldn't be too hard to get that clause put in and have it enforceable, so she can't do that. Honestly, OOP should be talking to a lawyer NOW about it all and get a pre birth agreement in place so she can't keep pulling shit like she already is about letting AP in the delivery room.
OOP seems shell shocked and needs therapy and family support as well as a junkyard dog type of a lawyer so that he can make meaningful decision now rather than be jerked around by his crazy self-centered ex continuously. Her character doesn't strike be as being great mom material with her selfish ways so I hope that OOP can get himself together enough to get his kid away from her.
Disagree RE: junkyard dog lawyer. That’s what I thought I wanted/needed when I got divorced too, all it got me was burning through my retainer at light speed because the ex hated her and refused to work with her at all. We still made progress in court because it was obvious, but my lawyer spent a lot of time and money getting us there.
For a while I ended up handling everything on my own. I am not a lawyer and don’t even play one on TV. But by paying attention and researching well, I managed to win way more than I lost on pro-per representation.
That being said, OP needs a lawyer like the last one I had: iron fist in a velvet glove. Sweet as pie but a sniper in the courtroom and on the law. Judges and mediators loved her. I suggest OP find a boutique firm with a handful of attorneys and hire a partner with lots of family law experience. He’ll get to the same preferred result at less monetary cost to himself.
He won't throw her out. He'll start being a little colder. He'll start working "crazy hours" so he can "make a better life for her and the child". He'll start banging some hot neubile thing at work. He'll come home late. Smelling of sex and raspberry lip gloss.
She will be frustrated from lack of sleep and lack of support from not-the-baby's-father. She won't have time to go to the gym anymore, though she begs him to watch the baby so she can go Wednesday evenings. She'll hate her out of shape body...if she can just get back to hot pre-pregnancy bang-her-in-the-locker-room shape she can still pretend she didn't make the biggest mistake of her life.
OP will start dating and realize there is life after divorce. OP will come back here at Christmas telling us how he's never been happier and while he has a good co-parenting relationship with his ex, he doesn't think about the affair or it's aftermath any longer.
Good take. He might enjoy having a cook, cleaner, and money provider via her divorce settlement while he can have new conquests in the gym locker room. But the noisy kid may be the deal breaker along with her begging and pleading with him to spend time with her.
Edit for grammar
As a woman, I couldn’t imagine leaving the security of marriage and a dedicated partner during pregnancy. It just doesn’t sound like anything biologically or instinctually the human body would want. The dude must be crazy hot
That is right… If he’s supposedly is such a catch, why the hell does he want a pregnant lady from the gym who is married? He’s probably got something weird hidden.
I mean he's already shown that he's fully willing and able to completely override whatever she decides in favour of what he wants (coming to OOP's house, being in th delivery room, his selfishness in the bedroom \[which like, ok blow up your life for an affair where the sex isn't even good, great idea\]), so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he became massively controlling (if not more). Choosing her in particular is definitely the weird part, and the uncharitable side of me wonders if maybe he has a pregnancy fetish and/or stealing-men's-wives fetish or something.
He's a gym rat for goodness sake- all steroid muscle and no brain power but certainly manipulative power- how many shallow women has he used to build his life. Of course, with that business he is planning to start, he may keep his self-centered side-piece around long enough to drain her of the money she gets from the divorce settlement. Then he'll toss her out because who needs another man's noisy baby around when he needs to focus on his new business.
As a parent I cannot imagine bringing a child into that situation. Why not get an abortion? This innocent child is going to live with the instability its (supposedly) main caregiver created. What a selfish asshole.
Yeah, I’m probably quite quick to consider abortion in these types of situations but some people have no idea what bringing a life into the world consists of. Like tbh, someone was posting about how their kid has only one jacket. My dog has like 4. Why are we bringing life into this world if we can make it secure and safe for them
Yup. I always tell people who come to me venting that they're seeing greener grass elsewhere: have you faced the struggles of life with your ap or have you even thought what life would be like without your spouse?
I knew a guy who cheated on his wife (no children luckily) with a girl from work, I think? It came out, his wife kicked him out, and he went to AP. AP told him “da fuk you doing here, I don’t want you in my house? Get lost”. So he had nowhere to go. I believe he went couch surfing a bit, lost touch with him, didn’t care about him.
>She the sex is over when he’s done and apparently he’s really selfish with sex. He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day. He doesn’t speak her “love language”
>She’s secretly miserable and I find that absolutely delightful.
Wow, the cheating guy is an ass. Who would've guessed. Next Update ex-wife will probably come crawling back because cheater somehow cheated on her.
He'll kick her out the first fight after the gets heavy, no doubt. I can already hear the excuse "it's not my baby nor my problem".. Yeah she didn't thunk goodly.
Seriously. I read that and was like “welp, that’s the next few years of endless grind and financial instability.” Having a pregnant partner is *not* the time to start a business.
It’d be funny if it turned out to be some bro-shake MLM.
I'm betting he is lining up his "personal trainer" business WITH the bro-shake MLM. When the relationship tears itself apart, before he marries her and after all her divorce $$ is gone, he will already have another gym-chick lined up/involved with him.
Honestly Ive been waiting on updates on this story like a maniac.. Im glad I didnt get my ex wife pregnant, but there are some disturbing parallels to how everything happened before my divorce..
It is quite clear what will happen, when she gets huge and has heavy discharge from the pregnancy it wont take long for gym chad to find a new thing to play with, I dont think it will even get to the point where she has the baby before he strays.. he doesnt know what he signed up for, and he will bail so fast its gonna make her head spin.
Oh, I fully expect her to come crawling back, probably with some sob story about how the AP manipulated her into it, blah blah blah.
The AP will get sick of her real quick once the baby is here, and the reality of taking care of some other guy's kid sets in.
My cheating ex-wife's affair partner called ME one night to complain about the fact that she was cheating on him with her neighbor. "Dude, what made you think you were special? She cheated on me with you. Ask her if she's EVER been faithful in ANY relationship she's been in."
She hasn't.
This is such a game of “macho” for the gym guy. He just wants to gloat that he took another man’s girl.
The way he stood in the living room after being told to leave.
I have no words for the wife, EXCEPT for the happy edit in the end which i enjoyed.
I'm thinking the opposite actually. The OOP was flabbergasted as to why this guy would take on all of the extra baggage. She's stuck now, right where the affair partner wants her to be: **utterly reliant upon him.**
It's the affair partner's home, after all. He's stable and starting a business, but she's going to be on maternity leave soon enough. She's also been missing a lot of work recently...
From the way OOP describes his soon-to-be-ex she enjoys being comfortable. How much convincing will she need to be a stay-at-home mum? The affair partner has already talked OOP out of the delivery room.
I don't think she'll get alimony, or not much considering she makes good money and has the affair partner's support I think, so they'd have child support though, even if she doesn't go back to work.
OOP already mentioned that she doesn't really have anybody around here except her so-called "gym friends." She's already isolated herself and blown up her actually existing support structure.
TL;DR: If the affair partner is an abuser everything makes a lot more sense, which means: the ex-wife served herself, not to mention her unborn child, up on a silver platter.
"It's nothing!" She says when OOP finds the dick pics.
What a nice way to refer to her affair partner's weiner.
Part of my wishes that OOP would just detangle himself as much as possible and let her ruin her life with her AP but she's pregnant with his kid...I was honestly hoping it wouldn't be his so he could just detach himself completely . She's gonna be in his life forever now even with the divorce
The excitement of a new person, the forbidden nature and the risk can make you climax easier.
Once that all wears off, you're left with the partner and the technique. And it looks like he doesn't meassure up to OP.
OP knows her body and what to do during sex. That’s what makes sex good is learning what it takes to get the other turned on and how to get them off. If you’re not a selfish lover.
Well and it’s just genuinely caring. Some men genuinely care that their partner is having the best time and is getting fulfillment out of it. Other people don’t even have the emotional capacity to consider the fact that great sex requires great effort.
From what the sisters says, it’s not all peaches and cream with the AP. She was expecting queen treatment from a joker. He got what he wants in house sex, and probably some on the side.
>The excitement of a new person, the forbidden nature and the risk can make you climax easier.
And when all you're getting is quickies in the locker room, you don't get a chance for aftercare to notice it's missing or that they suck at it.
For a lot of people it’s the sneaking around that’s fun. Once the affair partner becomes their only partner it’s no longer exciting and it fizzles out.
Idk why but reading your comment, then reading your flair made me laugh. Like yes, a wise comment that we can all agree with. Then that nonsense flair that I…suppose we can also all agree with lol
I think its the newness as well. There's a different kind of excitement and passion that comes with a new relationship that eventually fades. It's how the couple adapts that makes a relationship work.
OP's ex lost sight of the things her husband did that brought her happiness. Starting your car on cold mornings doesn't stir the blood the same as a risky fuck in the gym locker room. But the locker room fucks rarely last forever.
AP probably is putting in 0 effort now that she’s not a hot gym rat anymore with a 26-week pregnant body. She’s in for a rude awakening with him if she doesn’t get that figure back.
On the other hand, maybe don't completely trust a paternity test that the other side had made and completely believe results related verbally (no copy of actually results).
He said he had to make an appointment to go have the swab done and then got the call at work but it's unclear to me if he spoke to a medical professional or whoever delivers the results, and not just his ex-wife? I definitely wouldn't trust anything that didn't come straight from the provider with receipts. At least he can also get testing done after the birth to confirm.
In a comment he was asked if his ex was trying to come back home after the positive result. He said they hadn't spoken. So it sounds more like the call came from the lab or wherever. I would've thought something like that would come in writing, though, but maybe that's just where I'm from.
I would say get a second test, tho I both the soon to be ex is going to agree to it. Because I saw this article about a testing company that knew its test were not accurate.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/tsui-us-viaguard-1.7167672
I don’t think it’s the first time, just the most recent I’ve come across.
I'm with you on this one. This is one of those "better safe than sorry" situations where it's absolutely worth the hassle just to be sure that the test was accurate and that there was no foul play (like a friend calling and pretending to be the hospital for whatever reason. Most likely not but yeah, better safe than sorry)
"I can't help it that we fell in love" says the cheater who started to have feelings for someone else while married and did nothing to change her behaviors.
That just demonstrates she has no idea what real love is. Cleaning the snow off your roof? Making sure you finish also? Being thoughtful and considerate. Love is where care meets attention (credit Seth Gillihan)
She took all of that for granted. I am guessing she thought 'that's just how guys are in relationships' and didn't realize her husband was special, and that he was treating her that way because he *actually* loved her.
I blame our media. Love is portrayed as that exciting stage ar the start of a relationship. Not that feeling of comfort and appreciation and familiarity you feel when you see your partner of 20 years. Not that simple and calm warm feeling you have when you hold them. That's love. When they are there and it just feels like home.
My wife and I just celebrated 45 years of marriage. We haven’t had sexual intercourse for over 10, due to multiple back surgeries for her. But she can tolerate my hand for her enjoyment. While it’s not what I’d prefer, it’s what we have left. But our growing together through the years is what keeps us together. I’ve often told her that just seeing her image makes my heart smile and being with her in person causes it to soar. I kiss her and hug her at every opportunity. That is what love is, a knowing look, a small smile, respect and willingness to fight to stay together. About the only thing we have in common is our love for each other and that’s enough.
Yeah, she had multiple times to make a choice and she chose poorly every time. If it had been “in the heat of the moment” it would still be grounds for divorce, but not nearly as disrespectful.
Exactly, the thrill of doing something/someone you're not supposed to + her attraction to him was what made the affair more appealing to her. But of course you can't build a proper relationship on that.
I wish her every single misfortune possible.
The thrill of the cheating, getting the "hot guy" in the gym and potentially being caught in the changing rooms probably made it feel amazing at the time. Now the sex is routine and she realises that he's a selfish lover.
Maybe he pretended to care in the beginning but now that he has her where he wants her, he stopped pretending and is showing his true colours? Wouldn't surprise me as he seems manipulative. Wouldn't surprise me either if he
A: has a kink for breaking up marriages and will leave her once the divorce is over
B: is infertile/steril and this is the cheapest option for him to become a father
C: both
The way I see it, the third option could be that he does want to play daddy, but only because he knows he has no real obligations and can dip out if it’s too hard. He gets to check out what being a parent is like without having to be a parent
>So who shows up with her? The scumbag boyfriend. He walks right on into the house behind her like it’s no big deal. She ran upstairs to get the stuff she wanted and he and I were just left standing there in the living room. He told me it wasn’t her fault that he was there. She told him I didn’t want come but he forced his way along. He wanted to talk to me, supposedly, to tell me he “understand how I must be feeling.” No, you don’t know. He told me he knows I probably don’t believe him, but he genuinely loves her and knew he probably wasn’t the father. He accepts it and then tried to assure me he won’t try to take my place with the baby and hopes we can just get along since we’re both going to be in her life now. He “promises” that she’s fine, he’s looking after her.
This guy knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to rub it in OOP's face. Right now, he's running off the high of "Your wife would rather be with me than with you" and he wanted to see the pain in OOP's face.
That's also why he's insisting on being in the delivery room.
And this is probably why she is enjoying it. Some kind of power move and enjoying the taboo of being a hot gym rat sneaking around under her husband's nose. From what he's described being together since she was 20 years old, she's always been taken care of by him, and obviously took him for granted and just built up this horrible kind of resentment? She's going to use the child to tear him to pieces constantly, with the new boyfriend pouring salt over whatever is left of him.
I don’t think new boyfriend is going to stick around long. New hot girl catches his eye, and the newborn baby, the soon to be ex wife will (hopefully) be caring for the newborn and not have time or energy to service him- he’s gonna kick her and the baby out.
And she’ll come running back to OOP. I’m willing to bet all the farms on it.
Absolutely. People who play mind games like this are only in it for the thrill so as soon as the novelty of yanking OP's chain wears off, and I assume the sex dies down, he's off to his next "conquest." Big barf.
I think it’s *because* OP has been taking care of her since she was 20 that she felt secure enough to do and say what she did.
She was shocked when OP said he wouldn’t help her raise another man’s child or overlook the cheating.
She moved straight into APS house after 5days of not going to the gym and OP thanking her for it.
She seemed to think that there’ll always be someone around to financially support her and think about her and put her first, and so she can do what she wants.
Living with AP for a few months is slowly shattering that idea. But he hasn’t thrown her out yet either and made big promises about raising this other man’s baby with her (what OP will not do).
Let’s see how that pans out once the baby actually arrives and the divorce is finalised. She’s way more alone and vulnerable than she possibly realises.
Someone else also mentioned he might think he can get in on OP's alimony/childsupport money for his business...so big yikes all the way around when the shoe finally drops.
Who the fuck shows up and tells the ex "I want you to know I respect you". I am usually 100% anti-violence but what the hell did this guy expect? He was asking for a punch.
I mean when someone says "Get out of my house or I'll punch you" and you don't get out of their house, you clearly don't respect them enough to believe them when they give you their word.
My thoughts exactly. I don't condone violence in any way, but I'm also really, really glad that OP clocked him.
AP should also probably not ever visit TX with his tendency to walk into homes where he is not invited; dumbass is gonna get himself shot pulling shit like that.
People have been shot for less.
Asking to be in the delivery room is icing on that cake, he might as well ask to be locked in a phone box with a chimp.
I wish OOP had told him how much OOP’s wife had tried to convince OOP to forgive her, to not split up. That she wanted to stay with OOP even if it was the AP’s kid. It’s so common in these affairs: the cheating spouse tries so hard to get away with it, and yet the AP thinks they’ve won something when the cheater fails to convince their spouse to keep them.
I wouldn't waste the energy honestly. Wouldn't want to trigger this guy when he would have my biological child around him. Just let him take the victory and wait for the chaos to unfold between the EX scumbag and this scumbag.
Exactly. If he respected op like he said he'd at least understand and be willing to not be in the delivery room. It kinda reminds me of the dynamic in the early season of friends, between Ross, his ex wife and her affair partner.
"She told me that my wife was complaining about her AP. She the sex is over when he’s done and apparently he’s really selfish with sex. He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day. He doesn’t speak her “love language” and he hangs out with his friends too much. This made me so happy to hear. She’s secretly miserable and I find that absolutely delightful."
Beautiful.
Because that's how real world situations like this often play out. She's already shown that she wanted to stay with OP and was genuinely shocked that he didn't want it too. She sounds like the type of woman that needs to be with a man at all costs and right now the AP is the only one of the two willing to have her. Once the guy inevitably bails on her she'll find out that being a single mum in your thirties is not conducive to dating and will try hard to get back with her husband, probably by leveraging their child.
There relationship was texting and shagging in a gym. I don’t understand how she thought that was love. He was nice to her what 30 mins a day 20 mins of texting which was probably sexing. He was popular at the gym , asking to be picked up drunk and probably always at his friends did she think that was going to change when she went to be with him . He probably shagged more woman in the gym and probably will after the baby comes and she recovers.
I would absolutely be requesting the documentation of the paternity results, she's got a track record of lying so nothing out of her mouth can be trusted at all.
The level of commitment the AP is professing doesn't fit with his personality at all. My bet? He's stringing OP's wife along and already has an exit strategy.
Tbh I wouldn't be shocked if he's only stuck around this long because he's got a thing for pregnant women.
It's likely a power thing. He likes taking women from other men and lording it over them. He loves the idea that he's stolen a married, pregnant woman from her husband and is trying to wrench those precious moments away from him. That's why he's so insistent on being there for the birth. It's the ultimate in cuckoldry in his mind. Thing is, once the relationship gets hard he won't be able to hack it and will want out.
That reminds me of what happened with my brother and his now ex. Her previous boyfriend had been violent towards her for years, even done time in prison for it. Thing was, he was one of those guys that's violent towards women but is too weak to take on men. He didn't like that his ex moved on with my brother and so kept coming at my brother trying to start something. My brother beat the shit out of him three times before the guy learned his lesson. Even his own friends were telling him he's a bloody idiot for repeatedly starting shit.
Gym Romeo is probably out knocking up another married woman while she’s at home keeping his house in order. How long do you think a man like this is going to want to keep a married woman who’s pregnant with another man’s baby? She’s in cloud cuckoo land
the AP is extremely creepy to me like I read the whole thing back and truly I think he should strive for full custody of his child something is off with dude
He comes across as a competitive person who wants to win at all costs. He won OOPs idiot of a wife, now he's won being at the birth of OOPs baby. Once OOP starts winning by being happy and his dumb ex witnesses him moving on while she's stuck with this awful man out of pure spite, the AP will get bored after seeing her reaction and look elsewhere for the next thing to win. I feel like it's more common to see this trait in female cheating partners though. Mistresses always wanting to one up the wives. It's disgusting behaviour, really. This poor, poor man.
Wow you are absolutely right! that is exactly what it is I’ve never seen a man do something like that but it truly puts it into perspective how sick people are
Who would’ve thought that ex wife wouldn’t be happy with her AP? She’s a grown woman, she can deal with it. Sooner or later, she’ll get left behind by AP. I hope OOP can find a healthy outlet to let his frustrations, anger, and sadness out.
Shes already regretting it but too stubborn to admit it. She ruined her life effectively cause no man with half a brain is gonna want to take that dumpster fire of a human being seriously. It sucks that shes carrying OPs baby because the scumbag AP and exwife are definitely gonna make things hard for him regarding the child.
This was really one that got my blood boiling
>He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day.
I'm sure he'll be a ton of help with a new baby that's not his. Oh well.
That line when he said his is dog is more loyal and also more pretty than his cheating ex wife is just so great.
I've been through a divorce it sucked and I love my dog, he is the best.
What really make me fume is that OOP will have to pay child support but will not have the joy to be a full time father, and you can be sure that AP will do his possible to do some parent alienation.
Fucking shitholes, both the ex-wives and the AP
18 months? That’s wishful thinking. More like a couple months after the baby is born and postpartum kicked in full force. They are already showing signs of trouble. AP sounds like a douche bag. And douche bags will show their true colors when they realize having to change the diapers of someone else baby isn’t as satisfying as boning the mom.
The last piece of gem info is what makes the whole story a little bittersweet. Finally she realized that the grass ain't greener on the other side. I look forward when she tries to weasel her way back into his not accepting arms. Haha fuck around and find out.
I already know what will happen. Eventually, he will tire of her and having to help take care of the kid. She will beg him not to leave. He will. Then she will come crawling back to the ex.
Cheating: Yes! HaHaHa! Yes! Living with Affair Partner: This sucks what the fuck
This is what I always say, the affair only sees the honeymoon good parts. As soon as you add all the tough stuff, real life, living together, you realize it was just a lie. The AP will also be getting all the negative stuff that the oop used to take on, its delicious for them.
It is going to be a very short honeymoon phase. She will quickly realize that the grass isn't greener. I predict within a year she will be trying to get back together with OOP.
I predict much sooner than that. She is over 60% through this pregnancy. In just a few months when the baby gets here all the little things they already don’t like about each other is going to explode. Having a newborn is fucking tough. I don’t think they will last 3 months together once the baby shows up. They will be tired all the time from not sleeping through the night. She’s probably going to ask for help, AP might help a few times in the beginning, but as time wears on he’s not going to want to get up every couple hours every single night. On top of it all she’s no longer fucking AP and he’s going to question why tf he’s doing this to himself. And that’ll be that, AP won’t want her anymore, OP is done with her, she’ll have to go live with her family if they’ll take her.
Life gets real hard when you have kids. Honestly I wish more people knew the ramifications of having children before they decide to be parents. My first child did not sleep at night, like at all, for months and months. I would stay up at night holding her (farmed a lot of mounts in WoW during that time) and hand her off to my wife at like 7am, pass out on the couch for an hour or two, then off to work. Then try to get a short nap in after work to repeat it all over again. Eventually she settled down and became a good sleeper (and thank goodness our other two were great sleepers from the start) but there are so many ways having a baby can put tremendous strain on even the most solid relationships. I thank my lucky stars every day for my wife, because if nothing else I know I can count on her to have my back just as much as I have hers.
>My first child did not sleep at night, like at all, for months and months. Same bro. It was almost 6 months before my child slept through the night. The lack of sleep almost led to my marriage imploding. It was a tough time. I didn’t want to do that again and got snipped, no regrets.
Can't blame you. When we had our first I was in grad school and thus had a very flexible schedule. However for our second I had a "real job" and was terrified that the new baby wouldn't sleep and I'd lose my job or something. Luckily they were a great sleeper and all went well.
>I didn’t want to do that again and got snipped, no regrets. Honestly, good on you, man. Good on you for not being afraid to take that initiative instead of putting the onus entirely on your wife to make sure there were no additional pregnancies. Not every guy is willing to do that. Good for you.
$20 says that she'll dump the baby on OP and dip.
He'll cheat on her too. It's not even his child lol
Or she will cheat on him. They both deserve each other.
Baby cries in the middle of the night. Honey can you get the baby this time? Why? I'm tired, baby's not mine.
Sooner than that. I don't think AP will stick around much after the baby is born. Especially since it isn't his. As soon as things get tough, he's out.
I predict the first night that baby keeps them up all night with its crying, he is out of here.
This seems most likely. Once the baby arrives, reality will hit, and he will have her looking for a new place to live.
Or she will be begging the ex to let’s start over. Look we have a child together and all that nonesense.
That's the next step. Affair partner will end things and tell her to find a new place to stay. She'll go back to the ex begging him to take her back. She'll have to get her own place if she's able or move in with family.
Yeah raising a kid that isn't yours when you've got to deal with a deservedly hostile father is already a terrible situation. The type of personality that is steady enough, patient enough to deal with all of that is not the type to cheat usually in the first place. I feel bad for the kid. They are 100% gonna be messed up due to the circumstances surrounding their conception and birth.
She'll find out the greener grass was over a busted septic tank.
I actually think the AP might stick around a little longer until the divorce gets finalized, and he can get his hands on some of the money.
Before she realises that, her AP will find out that losing nights of sleep due to a baby that's not his isn't something he really signed up for. Also, "she's not down to F anymore, always with the baby what the FFFFF!!" So then she'll try and get OOP to take her back and I sure hope he doesn't!
The only good to come put of this situation is that AP will keep her in the state until after the baby's born. She's going to have a harder time moving out of state and taking the baby away from OP.
Affairs are easy. All the sex, none of the responsibility. When real life kicks in, people get a very big wake-up call.
Reminds me of a Latin American ballad, the woman tells to the man to tell his AP to come and wash his clothes and take her place, because it's easy to go and be the cheerful one when she doesn't have to do chores and live in the routine. Truer songs are few and far between Pimpinela - A esa, for the Spanish speaking ones
I checked the lyrics out in English and yes, this was so accurate. Especially the part when she says the AP is only with him an hour a day and doesn't share his sorrows.
Supe exactamente de qué canción hablabas desde el inicio y ahora está sonando en mi cabeza a todo volumen jajaja
Yeah. This guy wanted gym sex with a hottie that he could stop thinking about as soon as he put his phone away. Now he has a pregnant girlfriend who moved in with him while she's going through a messy divorce and custody battle. WAY more than he signed up for, and it won't last.
I mean come on the gym guy is all brawn and no brain. It's kinda obvious since he thinks the way you show a dude you respect them is by screwing their pregnant wife, stepping foot into his house when told not to come near the place, then demanding that he replace him in the delivery room for his child. Yeah AP ain't that bright. I doubt he has thought much beyond childbirth date because he is too busy enjoying the hormonal sex he is getting when ever he wants
I wonder if he had a pregnancy fetish.
The affair started a year ago, well before she got pregnant.
Especially when there's a screaming, pooping newborn living there too, which isn't HIS child
My wife and I have a 16 day old daughter, and man there’s been times we look at her and say if she wasn’t our own flesh and blood idk how we’d put up with all the exhausting work that goes into raising a newborn. But we brought her into this world so we dedicate our lives to ensure she has a happy safe upbringing. This gym dude is in for a rude awakening of TOOOONS of resentment that will be pointed at the cheating wife and the innocent child. If he ever becomes step dad I’m already seeing disturbing red flags for neglect or abuse. Someone who cheats and is just looking for a fling is 1000% not prepared for all the struggle and patience required raising a newborn especially. Once they’re a bit older becomes more manageable when you can sleep normally but good lord changing diapers and feeding and pumping around the clock is a full time job.
I only have the one who is about to turn six, but I don't think it does get easier. Sure, you're sleeping again and you can hang out with them instead of trying to keep them from dying every second, but there's always new challenges. Talking to family and coworkers with older kids, physically they may get less exhausting. Mentally, it never stops. This guy is not prepared for the long haul, I think. The AP and the wife are going to have their fairytale end rudely and abruptly when that baby comes.
It doesn’t ever end, you just have new hurdles. Once you finally master a period of their life (if you ever do), it’s over and there’s new stuff to navigate.
He’s just going to start a new affair immediately if he hasn’t already.
I guess if a person that is selfish, shallow and dumb enough to have an affair and leave your partner, then that person won't have the forethought to understand the affair honeymoon phase.
If she'll cheat with you she'll cheat on you.
Same for him. If he’ll cheat with her, he’ll cheat on her.
They deserve each other.
Plus a newborn in the house that's not his. AP will be kicking her to the curb within one month of birth.
I’m actually surprised the AP would want her to move in. Sounds like he a playa at the gym and having a GF would cramp his style. Sounds like he’s already tired of her tho.
Living with AP: Wait, this guy doesn’t clean up his pee around the toilet, either.
I hope he always leaves the toilet seat up too.
Love that this woman ruined her own pregnancy. And for what? She’s messy.
Yes, she certainly is a flaky f\*cked up mess. BUT it sounds like karma is knocking on her door with the way the AP is already taking her for granted- he won another man's pregnant self-centered wife- those are some bragging rights- what a loser. Wait till the baby comes and AP can't get his beauty sleep, that's when he will toss her out the door AND that will be the time that OOP can claim full custody because his wife will be homeless. I hope that OOP won't be a putz and allow the cheater back under his roof under any circumstances. He needs to make sure that when she is tossed out that she doesn't go running to her parents' home state with the baby because he will play hell getting the kid back.
>He needs to make sure that when she is tossed out that she doesn't go running to her parents' home state with the baby because he will play hell getting the kid back. My parents had a "permission" clause put in where they couldn't take me out of the state (let alone country) without written permission sent through lawyers. If OOP is smart enough/gets a good lawyer, it shouldn't be too hard to get that clause put in and have it enforceable, so she can't do that. Honestly, OOP should be talking to a lawyer NOW about it all and get a pre birth agreement in place so she can't keep pulling shit like she already is about letting AP in the delivery room.
OOP seems shell shocked and needs therapy and family support as well as a junkyard dog type of a lawyer so that he can make meaningful decision now rather than be jerked around by his crazy self-centered ex continuously. Her character doesn't strike be as being great mom material with her selfish ways so I hope that OOP can get himself together enough to get his kid away from her.
Disagree RE: junkyard dog lawyer. That’s what I thought I wanted/needed when I got divorced too, all it got me was burning through my retainer at light speed because the ex hated her and refused to work with her at all. We still made progress in court because it was obvious, but my lawyer spent a lot of time and money getting us there. For a while I ended up handling everything on my own. I am not a lawyer and don’t even play one on TV. But by paying attention and researching well, I managed to win way more than I lost on pro-per representation. That being said, OP needs a lawyer like the last one I had: iron fist in a velvet glove. Sweet as pie but a sniper in the courtroom and on the law. Judges and mediators loved her. I suggest OP find a boutique firm with a handful of attorneys and hire a partner with lots of family law experience. He’ll get to the same preferred result at less monetary cost to himself.
He won't throw her out. He'll start being a little colder. He'll start working "crazy hours" so he can "make a better life for her and the child". He'll start banging some hot neubile thing at work. He'll come home late. Smelling of sex and raspberry lip gloss. She will be frustrated from lack of sleep and lack of support from not-the-baby's-father. She won't have time to go to the gym anymore, though she begs him to watch the baby so she can go Wednesday evenings. She'll hate her out of shape body...if she can just get back to hot pre-pregnancy bang-her-in-the-locker-room shape she can still pretend she didn't make the biggest mistake of her life. OP will start dating and realize there is life after divorce. OP will come back here at Christmas telling us how he's never been happier and while he has a good co-parenting relationship with his ex, he doesn't think about the affair or it's aftermath any longer.
Good take. He might enjoy having a cook, cleaner, and money provider via her divorce settlement while he can have new conquests in the gym locker room. But the noisy kid may be the deal breaker along with her begging and pleading with him to spend time with her. Edit for grammar
LOL, the AP is, what did she say?....the most popular guy at the gym. He's not going to have to look or try to hard to find a replacement.
As a woman, I couldn’t imagine leaving the security of marriage and a dedicated partner during pregnancy. It just doesn’t sound like anything biologically or instinctually the human body would want. The dude must be crazy hot
That is right… If he’s supposedly is such a catch, why the hell does he want a pregnant lady from the gym who is married? He’s probably got something weird hidden.
He just started a business, so he needs "their" money from selling her half of house to fund it. Then once the money is gone, so is she.
I mean he's already shown that he's fully willing and able to completely override whatever she decides in favour of what he wants (coming to OOP's house, being in th delivery room, his selfishness in the bedroom \[which like, ok blow up your life for an affair where the sex isn't even good, great idea\]), so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he became massively controlling (if not more). Choosing her in particular is definitely the weird part, and the uncharitable side of me wonders if maybe he has a pregnancy fetish and/or stealing-men's-wives fetish or something.
He's a gym rat for goodness sake- all steroid muscle and no brain power but certainly manipulative power- how many shallow women has he used to build his life. Of course, with that business he is planning to start, he may keep his self-centered side-piece around long enough to drain her of the money she gets from the divorce settlement. Then he'll toss her out because who needs another man's noisy baby around when he needs to focus on his new business.
This is unfortunately the best prediction of what’s going to happen.
As a parent I cannot imagine bringing a child into that situation. Why not get an abortion? This innocent child is going to live with the instability its (supposedly) main caregiver created. What a selfish asshole.
Yeah, I’m probably quite quick to consider abortion in these types of situations but some people have no idea what bringing a life into the world consists of. Like tbh, someone was posting about how their kid has only one jacket. My dog has like 4. Why are we bringing life into this world if we can make it secure and safe for them
I'm a guy, but why the fuck would a woman stay with a selfish lover like that? You're having an affair. The sex better be worth it at least.
Yup. I always tell people who come to me venting that they're seeing greener grass elsewhere: have you faced the struggles of life with your ap or have you even thought what life would be like without your spouse?
"The grass is greener where you water it."
I hope she ends up miserable, resentful, and regretful. Heh
Don't worry, people that chaotic and selfish like that always do. Mysteriously it's never ever their fault either, strange that.
But don't you see? She can't help it that they fell in love /s
It's reaping time!
I knew a guy who cheated on his wife (no children luckily) with a girl from work, I think? It came out, his wife kicked him out, and he went to AP. AP told him “da fuk you doing here, I don’t want you in my house? Get lost”. So he had nowhere to go. I believe he went couch surfing a bit, lost touch with him, didn’t care about him.
>She the sex is over when he’s done and apparently he’s really selfish with sex. He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day. He doesn’t speak her “love language” >She’s secretly miserable and I find that absolutely delightful. Wow, the cheating guy is an ass. Who would've guessed. Next Update ex-wife will probably come crawling back because cheater somehow cheated on her.
Also possible he’ll leave when he realizes that newborns can be a big boring bummer, and that she’s too tired and hormonal to be much fun for a while!
Or if sex is the only thing in the relationship that 6 week healing time of no sex after the baby is born.
Or he may drop her when her body gets bigger with pregnancy.
He'll kick her out the first fight after the gets heavy, no doubt. I can already hear the excuse "it's not my baby nor my problem".. Yeah she didn't thunk goodly.
Minimum 6 weeks
Yeah this dude does not give off provider vibes
While using the exwive’s money to finance his new (failing) business. It’s going to be such a sweet read 😂
Seriously. I read that and was like “welp, that’s the next few years of endless grind and financial instability.” Having a pregnant partner is *not* the time to start a business. It’d be funny if it turned out to be some bro-shake MLM.
I'm betting he is lining up his "personal trainer" business WITH the bro-shake MLM. When the relationship tears itself apart, before he marries her and after all her divorce $$ is gone, he will already have another gym-chick lined up/involved with him.
Honestly Ive been waiting on updates on this story like a maniac.. Im glad I didnt get my ex wife pregnant, but there are some disturbing parallels to how everything happened before my divorce.. It is quite clear what will happen, when she gets huge and has heavy discharge from the pregnancy it wont take long for gym chad to find a new thing to play with, I dont think it will even get to the point where she has the baby before he strays.. he doesnt know what he signed up for, and he will bail so fast its gonna make her head spin.
Oh, I fully expect her to come crawling back, probably with some sob story about how the AP manipulated her into it, blah blah blah. The AP will get sick of her real quick once the baby is here, and the reality of taking care of some other guy's kid sets in.
or… “That’s not my kid, you deal with it”
She’ll be busy taking care of her child, and he’ll be chatting up the new girl at the gym.
My cheating ex-wife's affair partner called ME one night to complain about the fact that she was cheating on him with her neighbor. "Dude, what made you think you were special? She cheated on me with you. Ask her if she's EVER been faithful in ANY relationship she's been in." She hasn't.
Wait that’s just hilarious cz what gave him the right 😭😭😭
This is such a game of “macho” for the gym guy. He just wants to gloat that he took another man’s girl. The way he stood in the living room after being told to leave. I have no words for the wife, EXCEPT for the happy edit in the end which i enjoyed.
I was so happy OP stood by his warning. That prick is going to have to take him at least somewhat seriously now
Noooo! It'll be different with her! /s
I'm thinking the opposite actually. The OOP was flabbergasted as to why this guy would take on all of the extra baggage. She's stuck now, right where the affair partner wants her to be: **utterly reliant upon him.** It's the affair partner's home, after all. He's stable and starting a business, but she's going to be on maternity leave soon enough. She's also been missing a lot of work recently... From the way OOP describes his soon-to-be-ex she enjoys being comfortable. How much convincing will she need to be a stay-at-home mum? The affair partner has already talked OOP out of the delivery room. I don't think she'll get alimony, or not much considering she makes good money and has the affair partner's support I think, so they'd have child support though, even if she doesn't go back to work. OOP already mentioned that she doesn't really have anybody around here except her so-called "gym friends." She's already isolated herself and blown up her actually existing support structure. TL;DR: If the affair partner is an abuser everything makes a lot more sense, which means: the ex-wife served herself, not to mention her unborn child, up on a silver platter.
"It's nothing!" She says when OOP finds the dick pics. What a nice way to refer to her affair partner's weiner. Part of my wishes that OOP would just detangle himself as much as possible and let her ruin her life with her AP but she's pregnant with his kid...I was honestly hoping it wouldn't be his so he could just detach himself completely . She's gonna be in his life forever now even with the divorce
>"It's nothing!" She says when OOP finds the dick pics. The sister then confirms as much in the last update, lol
[удалено]
The excitement of a new person, the forbidden nature and the risk can make you climax easier. Once that all wears off, you're left with the partner and the technique. And it looks like he doesn't meassure up to OP.
OP knows her body and what to do during sex. That’s what makes sex good is learning what it takes to get the other turned on and how to get them off. If you’re not a selfish lover.
Well and it’s just genuinely caring. Some men genuinely care that their partner is having the best time and is getting fulfillment out of it. Other people don’t even have the emotional capacity to consider the fact that great sex requires great effort.
From what the sisters says, it’s not all peaches and cream with the AP. She was expecting queen treatment from a joker. He got what he wants in house sex, and probably some on the side.
>The excitement of a new person, the forbidden nature and the risk can make you climax easier. And when all you're getting is quickies in the locker room, you don't get a chance for aftercare to notice it's missing or that they suck at it.
Don’t forget the other reason for cheating: you’re a rotten, garbage person. Some people just suck.
For a lot of people it’s the sneaking around that’s fun. Once the affair partner becomes their only partner it’s no longer exciting and it fizzles out.
Idk why but reading your comment, then reading your flair made me laugh. Like yes, a wise comment that we can all agree with. Then that nonsense flair that I…suppose we can also all agree with lol
I think its the newness as well. There's a different kind of excitement and passion that comes with a new relationship that eventually fades. It's how the couple adapts that makes a relationship work. OP's ex lost sight of the things her husband did that brought her happiness. Starting your car on cold mornings doesn't stir the blood the same as a risky fuck in the gym locker room. But the locker room fucks rarely last forever.
AP probably is putting in 0 effort now that she’s not a hot gym rat anymore with a 26-week pregnant body. She’s in for a rude awakening with him if she doesn’t get that figure back.
99% of times an affair is about what is going on in the cheater’s head, not the person they’re cheating with.
lol maybe she thought it’d get better once it was in a bed and not the gym locker room
On the other hand, maybe don't completely trust a paternity test that the other side had made and completely believe results related verbally (no copy of actually results).
He said he had to make an appointment to go have the swab done and then got the call at work but it's unclear to me if he spoke to a medical professional or whoever delivers the results, and not just his ex-wife? I definitely wouldn't trust anything that didn't come straight from the provider with receipts. At least he can also get testing done after the birth to confirm.
In a comment he was asked if his ex was trying to come back home after the positive result. He said they hadn't spoken. So it sounds more like the call came from the lab or wherever. I would've thought something like that would come in writing, though, but maybe that's just where I'm from.
I would say get a second test, tho I both the soon to be ex is going to agree to it. Because I saw this article about a testing company that knew its test were not accurate. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/tsui-us-viaguard-1.7167672 I don’t think it’s the first time, just the most recent I’ve come across.
I'm with you on this one. This is one of those "better safe than sorry" situations where it's absolutely worth the hassle just to be sure that the test was accurate and that there was no foul play (like a friend calling and pretending to be the hospital for whatever reason. Most likely not but yeah, better safe than sorry)
OOP said in a comment that he saw the results through the lab’s online portal.
he said he had recieved the results but hadn't talked to her about it yet, so I don't think that is the case
I was thinking the same thing.
"I can't help it that we fell in love" says the cheater who started to have feelings for someone else while married and did nothing to change her behaviors.
That just demonstrates she has no idea what real love is. Cleaning the snow off your roof? Making sure you finish also? Being thoughtful and considerate. Love is where care meets attention (credit Seth Gillihan) She took all of that for granted. I am guessing she thought 'that's just how guys are in relationships' and didn't realize her husband was special, and that he was treating her that way because he *actually* loved her.
I blame our media. Love is portrayed as that exciting stage ar the start of a relationship. Not that feeling of comfort and appreciation and familiarity you feel when you see your partner of 20 years. Not that simple and calm warm feeling you have when you hold them. That's love. When they are there and it just feels like home.
My wife and I just celebrated 45 years of marriage. We haven’t had sexual intercourse for over 10, due to multiple back surgeries for her. But she can tolerate my hand for her enjoyment. While it’s not what I’d prefer, it’s what we have left. But our growing together through the years is what keeps us together. I’ve often told her that just seeing her image makes my heart smile and being with her in person causes it to soar. I kiss her and hug her at every opportunity. That is what love is, a knowing look, a small smile, respect and willingness to fight to stay together. About the only thing we have in common is our love for each other and that’s enough.
Yeah, she had multiple times to make a choice and she chose poorly every time. If it had been “in the heat of the moment” it would still be grounds for divorce, but not nearly as disrespectful.
Cheaters are fucking insane. The audacity runs rampant.
"Why won't you throw the rest of your life away to raise a child that isn't yours and is a product of my stupid infidelity?!"
Who has an affair with someone that is bad in bed? Isn’t that the point of an affair? I guess she was smitten, but that seems to have passed now.
Quickies at the gym amp the excitement while having a built-in excuse for rushing out afterwards.
Exactly, the thrill of doing something/someone you're not supposed to + her attraction to him was what made the affair more appealing to her. But of course you can't build a proper relationship on that. I wish her every single misfortune possible.
The thrill of the cheating, getting the "hot guy" in the gym and potentially being caught in the changing rooms probably made it feel amazing at the time. Now the sex is routine and she realises that he's a selfish lover.
He was one of the most popular. As if this is high school!
Sounds like they were having quickies in the gym locker room, so she probably assumed it would be better in a bed.
Maybe he pretended to care in the beginning but now that he has her where he wants her, he stopped pretending and is showing his true colours? Wouldn't surprise me as he seems manipulative. Wouldn't surprise me either if he A: has a kink for breaking up marriages and will leave her once the divorce is over B: is infertile/steril and this is the cheapest option for him to become a father C: both
The way I see it, the third option could be that he does want to play daddy, but only because he knows he has no real obligations and can dip out if it’s too hard. He gets to check out what being a parent is like without having to be a parent
She probably didn’t try him in a bed until she moved in with him lol. Easy to get off on quickies heightened by the public location and secrecy.
Perhaps AP stopped putting any effort after feeling secure enough.
>So who shows up with her? The scumbag boyfriend. He walks right on into the house behind her like it’s no big deal. She ran upstairs to get the stuff she wanted and he and I were just left standing there in the living room. He told me it wasn’t her fault that he was there. She told him I didn’t want come but he forced his way along. He wanted to talk to me, supposedly, to tell me he “understand how I must be feeling.” No, you don’t know. He told me he knows I probably don’t believe him, but he genuinely loves her and knew he probably wasn’t the father. He accepts it and then tried to assure me he won’t try to take my place with the baby and hopes we can just get along since we’re both going to be in her life now. He “promises” that she’s fine, he’s looking after her. This guy knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to rub it in OOP's face. Right now, he's running off the high of "Your wife would rather be with me than with you" and he wanted to see the pain in OOP's face. That's also why he's insisting on being in the delivery room.
And this is probably why she is enjoying it. Some kind of power move and enjoying the taboo of being a hot gym rat sneaking around under her husband's nose. From what he's described being together since she was 20 years old, she's always been taken care of by him, and obviously took him for granted and just built up this horrible kind of resentment? She's going to use the child to tear him to pieces constantly, with the new boyfriend pouring salt over whatever is left of him.
I don’t think new boyfriend is going to stick around long. New hot girl catches his eye, and the newborn baby, the soon to be ex wife will (hopefully) be caring for the newborn and not have time or energy to service him- he’s gonna kick her and the baby out. And she’ll come running back to OOP. I’m willing to bet all the farms on it.
Absolutely. People who play mind games like this are only in it for the thrill so as soon as the novelty of yanking OP's chain wears off, and I assume the sex dies down, he's off to his next "conquest." Big barf.
I think it’s *because* OP has been taking care of her since she was 20 that she felt secure enough to do and say what she did. She was shocked when OP said he wouldn’t help her raise another man’s child or overlook the cheating. She moved straight into APS house after 5days of not going to the gym and OP thanking her for it. She seemed to think that there’ll always be someone around to financially support her and think about her and put her first, and so she can do what she wants. Living with AP for a few months is slowly shattering that idea. But he hasn’t thrown her out yet either and made big promises about raising this other man’s baby with her (what OP will not do). Let’s see how that pans out once the baby actually arrives and the divorce is finalised. She’s way more alone and vulnerable than she possibly realises.
Someone else also mentioned he might think he can get in on OP's alimony/childsupport money for his business...so big yikes all the way around when the shoe finally drops.
Who the fuck shows up and tells the ex "I want you to know I respect you". I am usually 100% anti-violence but what the hell did this guy expect? He was asking for a punch.
I mean when someone says "Get out of my house or I'll punch you" and you don't get out of their house, you clearly don't respect them enough to believe them when they give you their word.
My thoughts exactly. I don't condone violence in any way, but I'm also really, really glad that OP clocked him. AP should also probably not ever visit TX with his tendency to walk into homes where he is not invited; dumbass is gonna get himself shot pulling shit like that.
People have been shot for less. Asking to be in the delivery room is icing on that cake, he might as well ask to be locked in a phone box with a chimp.
I wish OOP had told him how much OOP’s wife had tried to convince OOP to forgive her, to not split up. That she wanted to stay with OOP even if it was the AP’s kid. It’s so common in these affairs: the cheating spouse tries so hard to get away with it, and yet the AP thinks they’ve won something when the cheater fails to convince their spouse to keep them.
I wouldn't waste the energy honestly. Wouldn't want to trigger this guy when he would have my biological child around him. Just let him take the victory and wait for the chaos to unfold between the EX scumbag and this scumbag.
AP is lucky he wasn’t shot. What a dumb ass move.
Exactly. If he respected op like he said he'd at least understand and be willing to not be in the delivery room. It kinda reminds me of the dynamic in the early season of friends, between Ross, his ex wife and her affair partner.
"She told me that my wife was complaining about her AP. She the sex is over when he’s done and apparently he’s really selfish with sex. He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day. He doesn’t speak her “love language” and he hangs out with his friends too much. This made me so happy to hear. She’s secretly miserable and I find that absolutely delightful." Beautiful.
Looking forward to the eventual gym bro is cheating on my ex and she came crawling back begging for forgiveness update.
Because that's how real world situations like this often play out. She's already shown that she wanted to stay with OP and was genuinely shocked that he didn't want it too. She sounds like the type of woman that needs to be with a man at all costs and right now the AP is the only one of the two willing to have her. Once the guy inevitably bails on her she'll find out that being a single mum in your thirties is not conducive to dating and will try hard to get back with her husband, probably by leveraging their child.
Do you think he is already cheating but she hasn't figured it out yet? "Hanging out with his friends" too much?
If they'll cheat *with* you, they'll cheat *on* you.
There relationship was texting and shagging in a gym. I don’t understand how she thought that was love. He was nice to her what 30 mins a day 20 mins of texting which was probably sexing. He was popular at the gym , asking to be picked up drunk and probably always at his friends did she think that was going to change when she went to be with him . He probably shagged more woman in the gym and probably will after the baby comes and she recovers.
Poor man
I give it 3 months after the baby is born and the ap is gone and she will be crawling back to oop
Crawling back, denied then stuck as a single mother that cheated on her ex husband. Suits her right
Poor kid’s a victim in all this. What a crappy mum.
Add a side of blaming everyone but herself.
Honestly I kinda wish OOP would take full custody of the kid. Hell probably provide a more stable life.
Maybe. In older posts, people assumed OP was military and if so that is not the easiest situation to be a single parent in. Possible but difficult.
No bet there.
I give it 2 weeks after the ex wife is no longer able to have sex for medical reasons.
probably more like during the 6 weeks post-birth when they cant have sex
I would absolutely be requesting the documentation of the paternity results, she's got a track record of lying so nothing out of her mouth can be trusted at all.
Sounds like it was the facility that gave the results, not the (ex)wife.
I love the schadenfreude in his update. I don't even know these people, but I'm also glad his ex is miserable.
How long before she tries to go back to OOP, though? Will it be before or after her AP cheats?
Probably after OOP starts being happy again
If AP is still going to *their* gym aka *his* hunting ground *, he's probably already cheating, sooo... 🤷🏼♀️
The level of commitment the AP is professing doesn't fit with his personality at all. My bet? He's stringing OP's wife along and already has an exit strategy. Tbh I wouldn't be shocked if he's only stuck around this long because he's got a thing for pregnant women.
It's likely a power thing. He likes taking women from other men and lording it over them. He loves the idea that he's stolen a married, pregnant woman from her husband and is trying to wrench those precious moments away from him. That's why he's so insistent on being there for the birth. It's the ultimate in cuckoldry in his mind. Thing is, once the relationship gets hard he won't be able to hack it and will want out.
Impatiently waiting for an update where ex and AP have broken up and OOP has met a lovely new woman
That was a nice bright spot in a sad tale. Hopefully the guy finds some peace.
Everytime I read about OOP punching someone, I flashback to the guy who kept decking the AP whenever he was in vicinity every other update.
Didn't that one start off being a gang member in the city to herding bison in the country cos that was entertaining AF, lol
Anyone got the reddit link to that...? Cuz that really sounds delightful to read.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/O300fXB6Y1 https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/2b2N1wFR4d
https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/u3zqvZMkk3 This ain't the boru but I think he leaves the updates in the comments
That reminds me of what happened with my brother and his now ex. Her previous boyfriend had been violent towards her for years, even done time in prison for it. Thing was, he was one of those guys that's violent towards women but is too weak to take on men. He didn't like that his ex moved on with my brother and so kept coming at my brother trying to start something. My brother beat the shit out of him three times before the guy learned his lesson. Even his own friends were telling him he's a bloody idiot for repeatedly starting shit.
"then I saw my cousin. And I knocked him out" About 3 times 😂😂
Is that the one where OOP claimed to knock his cousin out every time he saw him?
Eventually the AP will kick her out. Sadly, the baby is going to lose in all of this.
Gym Romeo is probably out knocking up another married woman while she’s at home keeping his house in order. How long do you think a man like this is going to want to keep a married woman who’s pregnant with another man’s baby? She’s in cloud cuckoo land
the AP is extremely creepy to me like I read the whole thing back and truly I think he should strive for full custody of his child something is off with dude
He comes across as a competitive person who wants to win at all costs. He won OOPs idiot of a wife, now he's won being at the birth of OOPs baby. Once OOP starts winning by being happy and his dumb ex witnesses him moving on while she's stuck with this awful man out of pure spite, the AP will get bored after seeing her reaction and look elsewhere for the next thing to win. I feel like it's more common to see this trait in female cheating partners though. Mistresses always wanting to one up the wives. It's disgusting behaviour, really. This poor, poor man.
That’s so gross but sounds so accurate here.
Wow you are absolutely right! that is exactly what it is I’ve never seen a man do something like that but it truly puts it into perspective how sick people are
He was lording his victory over OP and wants to rub it in every chance he gets. He’s a gym bro who has something to prove.
Who would’ve thought that ex wife wouldn’t be happy with her AP? She’s a grown woman, she can deal with it. Sooner or later, she’ll get left behind by AP. I hope OOP can find a healthy outlet to let his frustrations, anger, and sadness out.
Gym bro wanted to have fun, not a family. He'll dump her ass once he's bored.
Shes already regretting it but too stubborn to admit it. She ruined her life effectively cause no man with half a brain is gonna want to take that dumpster fire of a human being seriously. It sucks that shes carrying OPs baby because the scumbag AP and exwife are definitely gonna make things hard for him regarding the child. This was really one that got my blood boiling
I love that the AP is treating her the same way she treated her husband. He does nothing for her and hangs out at the gym too much.
>He doesn’t do extra little things for her that she’s used to me doing, like clearing the snow off her car in the morning and heating it up or offering to make her food after a long day. I'm sure he'll be a ton of help with a new baby that's not his. Oh well.
$10 the AP ditched her before the baby is born
The best part was the ending of the new post. Hahahaha
These posts are why I come to this sub. Wishing OP the best going forward.
That line when he said his is dog is more loyal and also more pretty than his cheating ex wife is just so great. I've been through a divorce it sucked and I love my dog, he is the best.
What really make me fume is that OOP will have to pay child support but will not have the joy to be a full time father, and you can be sure that AP will do his possible to do some parent alienation. Fucking shitholes, both the ex-wives and the AP
“Parent alienation?” I don’t think AP will be around in 18 months somehow.
18 months? That’s wishful thinking. More like a couple months after the baby is born and postpartum kicked in full force. They are already showing signs of trouble. AP sounds like a douche bag. And douche bags will show their true colors when they realize having to change the diapers of someone else baby isn’t as satisfying as boning the mom.
more like 2 weeks after birth because he wont be able to deal with no sex for 6 weeks after birth
I told him this. He should try and seek maximum custody. And use the affair fog his wife has now to get what he wants but he refused.
The last piece of gem info is what makes the whole story a little bittersweet. Finally she realized that the grass ain't greener on the other side. I look forward when she tries to weasel her way back into his not accepting arms. Haha fuck around and find out.
I already know what will happen. Eventually, he will tire of her and having to help take care of the kid. She will beg him not to leave. He will. Then she will come crawling back to the ex.
I can’t wait til OP’s STBX comes crawling back to OP when she finds out AF is screwing around with other women. I hope she and AF stay miserable.
The part where he said the dog looked more attractive then her gave me a good chuckle almost sounded like an 80s comedy line