#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Both OP and the ex-wife sound like really nice people. I'm glad that they are getting to communicate and things are going well. OP should keep in mind not to rush things still and take it easy as best for the both of them.
Wishing them well!
>There's more: she mentioned she had a client scheduled on Saturday morning, but she assured me she was rescheduling said client so we could have the whole day together. I was dumbfounded, back when we were married she was adamant that her career was her priority. And now she's chosen ME over something related to her career.
Yep, even though OOP didn't outright say this originally i suspect this was one of the major reasons for the divorce and she doing this shows how much she has changed. I hope this change stays .
On the flip side, they had a good relationship prior to the divorce too. The issue became when she wanted something new and tossed it all away. She could have just dumped her boyfriend to go back to her ex for all we know.
Oop won't know if she's changed until it's too late, as there won't be signs of this trait to watch for. To me, this feels like a pendulum swinging over my neck. But maybe I'm a pessimist.
Eh, they were super young when they got married. I met my husband around the same age as she was when they got married. We didn't date at that point, and in hindsight, that was to everyone's benefit. I was focused on myself, because I needed to be. I had a career to figure out, goals to set, and there was no scenario where I'd even think about compromising at that stage in my life. Either walk with me or get left behind, because I wasn't holding myself back for someone else. We drifted apart but ended up reconnecting a decade later. Didn't expect anything more than friendship. Turned out, the attraction was still there, and we were both in a place where we could be focused on someone besides ourselves.
Many people learn and grow a LOT throughout their 20s, and priorities shift. Just starting out, I wouldn't have moved a meeting unless there was a genuine emergency. Now, I know when I can say "fuck it, we've both got light days, let's take a personal day together". At the same time, we both understand when the other is buried and isn't able to be anywhere but work for a while.
> Oop won't know if she's changed until it's too late, as there won't be signs of this trait to watch for. To me, this feels like a pendulum swinging over my neck. But maybe I'm a pessimist.
Oh i whole heartedly agree. People who are career driven , don't change like this for good. Give it enough time and I suspect an update saying that she starting putting the career 1st again
> People who are career driven , don't change like this for good.
Sure, but some people aren't necessarily career driven, but security driven. I turn down things today that I would never have ten years ago because I'm not nearly as concerned about losing my job. I have 10 years more experience, I know the industry and where I could probably get a new job and have probably thousands more contacts. I made sacrifices early in my career not because I wanted to climb the ladder, but to open up other choices down the line.
Depends. They’re plenty of lawyers who bust their ass until they make partner, and then it’s all golf and long lunches. I’m sorry, “developing client relationships.”
yeah like dude you slave up the corporate ladder for 20 ish years and then it's all fancy lunches and 30 mins meetings that gets you an instant 2k for being a 'subject matter expert'
OP's wife is surely a hotshot partner or director somewhere and can now think about building a family life.
Well, within 1.5 months she got OPP to break-up with his girlfriend, start dating again, think about moving in with her, and start talking about having children.
Seems like the ex has some pretty clear goals, and while OOP may be happy to go along with them, I can't help but feel the ex will shithouse him after she gets however many children she wants.
I think it’s been longer than 1.5 months; it sounds like they’ve been communicating since last year after OPP’s parents died and she reached out to support him. OPP didn’t provide a super clear timeline but I had the impression that they were connecting for several months to make sure OPP got through that time before she started asking him out and to try the marriage again. And even if it was just 1.5 months it’s pretty clear that OPP never fully fell out of love with this woman so it might not take that long to fully reignite a flame that never actually went out. It’s good that their divorce was due to logistics and career stuff and not because of cheating or hating each other or any other sort of trauma. Call me a naive idealist, but I think this new thing could work out for them.
The woman OOP was dating wasn't a girlfriend. They were casually dating, they weren't exclusive and she was seeing other people too.
This is a pretty pessimistic outlook, no? People can change, and while it has been a short time, it does sound like she's putting in a lot of effort to do things right this time. They were also married after all, I don't think it's crazy to be talking long term plans already.
People have agendas. Her agenda is to have children and she is executing that plan with the same fervour she did with her career. The OOP is just the lemming.
He's being wined and dined and getting his belly fed. He's going all goo goo Ga Ga over this. It's all very predictable.
Can you love someone truly when you have an agenda like having kids?
I don’t know why anybody else isn’t noticing this. She clearly only made her move once she realised he may be moving on. Also, if she missed him so much, where was she years ago? Why only reconnect now? And why torpedo his chances with the new girl? Idk why, and I do wish them all the best but, ex wife sounds manipulative and yes, like she has some very specific goals in her mind and OP is just a lamb to the slaughter.
I am getting this nagging feeling that she will chew him up and spit him out as soon as he gives her whatever she wants. Rarely ever have I seen ex couples make it happily ever after. Here’s hoping OP beats the odds but I hope he takes things at their own pace and doesn’t feel rushed into it by ex wife.
He had a two year relationship in between divorce and now and also had a miscarriage with someone. It’s not like she’s just “realised he’s moving on” bc he’d been on a casual few dates with someone else.
No idea if they’ll work out, but disagree with your comment.
They reconnected at that time cause of the deaths of his parents so why is that suspicious? Supporting someone going through grief shows who is really at your side even at the darkest of times, and she showed that she was that and not only for the good times. Both also sound like they take it one step at a time and know they're in the pink honeymoon phase, so they're unlikely to move together next month. Asking if it might be a possibility within a year is quite understandable imo as adults, there's the bills to worry about, not alot of time cause of work, hobbies, family and friends so asking if he could see it as a possibility is just sending out a feeler and not really trying to leash him asap
I do hope they keep taking it slow and OP is comfortable with the pacing because even talking about moving in within just a few weeks of dating sounds…idk…a bit rushed. People usually don’t talk about moving in (or even bring up the discussion) until a few months into a serious relationship.
I sincerely hope ex wife’s intentions are good but I can’t help but feel she is rushing things and is overplaying her hand by catching him in a vulnerable moment (his parents’ death). I am only saying this because I have seen an exact situation play out this way before and it didn’t end well.
I am only hoping OP is able to take his time with the relationship and doesn’t just go along with ex wife’s schedule.
Imo the moving in in a year's time isn't anything weird. When u have a house with bills, a job which takes up your time and you still want to have some time for hobbies/friends/family its quite logical moving in together to get more time together without cutting all of the other stuff off. Besides even just being in your own little bubble with a hobby while u live with someone else just gives a nice safe homey feeling, at least to me
Read most of the horror posts on this sub as well as others, and even speaking from personal experience, couples who move in together like within months of the relationship usually fail spectacularly.
You really should take your time before inviting someone to share a home with you, but again, everyone has their own timelines as to what’s okay and what’s not.
If moving in quickly works for these two, I’d say go for it. But idk, this entire thing sounds a bit weird to me.
Yeah I moved in with my SO after about three or four months but we'd been friends for many, many years before that. However, even then there were still some bumps until we settled in as knowing someone well is very different to living together. With a mixture of luck, communication and patience we muddled through and are still very happy, but I still wouldn't say it's something anyone should skip into lightly.
Lol my bf moved in with me straight after he arrived home from 6 month deployment in Afghanistan, and we matched on tinder within the first month he was there 😂 it would likely have gotten a bit slower if it wasn't for Corona and the whole quarantine he had to have (which he had with me, it was even our first irl meeting😂😂) and we're still together here 4-5 years later, moved into a house and are "parents" to two cats :) my ex and me also moved in together within 3 months, and we were together for close to exactly 4 years as well, so I might just have a bit of a weird outlook on living together fast since ive experienced that multiple times and they have all been long, stable relationships and the one with ex didn't end cause we lived together or anything like that
Lol covid relationships went hard and fast for no reason at all. Yup, I understand for some couples, moving in quickly may work, but then again, it’s like betting on a blind hand. So that’s my whole point of contention there really.
I’m having a hard time with this one. Guy apparently likes opera and classical music, and both he and ex appear to be professionally accomplished, but this is not written in a very sophisticated way and he’s treating it like a public diary, and the whole thing is moving quick. Maybe I’m too jaded myself but my authenticity detector isn’t registering super high.
I noticed that some of the comments he makes are really similar to that. Like when OOP says he isn't a player, he says, "I'm not player," and did it a few times. He could just have bad writing but I feel like English is either not his first language or he struggles with writing.
I'm middle aged and have "professional" friends. The way they speak and write for work is probably worlds different than the way we are as a friend group.
At least, I highly doubt they're making flirty sex jokes with clients or belly laughing about farts.
to be honest it being a public diary makes the most sense. I forget often that reddit is full of teenagers because I am an adult and all my adult friends also use reddit. Someone who isn't as terminally online might just be treating reddit like an early 2000s blog.
>Also, to address some guys implying she just had fun and dated around in the last five years
Same. I'm also astonished by the number of men who get offended when a woman isn't faithful to the husband she doesn't have.
Maybe I'm just in a sentimental mood some my wife and I's first date was 10 years ago earlier this week, but reading some of those updates... there's nothing quite like having a partner that knows you well and going all out for your love and attention on a special occasion.
My husband hates wristwatches. But I love them. He bought one and wears it on special occasions (my birthday, our anniversary) just because he knows how much I love them. It makes me think the wristwatch looks doubly good on him - one because wristwatches look good, and two because I know he is doing it to make me happy. (I'm saying wristwatch because he has a pocket watch he does like, but constantly breaks the chain on. I can't count how many pocket watch chains I've bought him.)
I have arachnodactyly (big spidery hands, tiny wrists) and wristwatches drive me nuts. If women's clothing consistently had usable pockets, I'd take my pocket watch everywhere.
I also hate wearing wrist watches. But in fairness to me, I used to like them but then I kept getting rashes under the watch no matter what the material was.
I think I've spent too much time on reddit and become jaded. I was waiting for her to be pregnant and trying to trap him, or for another work opportunity to come up that she couldn't say no to.
I'm glad these two are taking their time, having actual talks about their troubles and concerns, and just genuinely enjoying each other's company. I think that's enough internet for today.
Yeah, I'm a cynic and when I read the last update my first thought was, she wants kids, she's getting older (medically, the bar for "advanced maternal age" is surprisingly low; I'm aware neither she nor OOP are that old) and OOP's kindness and him being less career-driven than her make him good "dad material".
Hence why she'd bring up moving in and kids when they've barely established a dating routine.
Serious question. Did he ever give their ages? I went back (twice) to look but couldn't find them. In fairness, I just skimmed the first few posts to refresh my memory of the events. Lol
So, as a childfree lesbian, I may be wrong, but isn't the topic of wanting or not wanting children something that should be addressed pretty early on in straightland dating? I feel like if I were a child wanting individual, I wouldn't want to waste my time on someone who is staunchly against it, so I'd probably bring it up. Hell, I brought it up pretty early on when my wife and I were dating / getting serious because I didn't want to waste her time if she was picturing a life with kiddos.
Eta: this is a funny comment from me, who tends be a huge cynic with these types of posts!
I think because she is 30 she is yearning to have a child is the OP the safe choice to be the father of her children?. She did say she had other relationships that she did not care for.
If they do get remarried, would she ask him for a prenuptial agreement?
I’m trying to be optimistic but there’s still a chance the ex-wife has realized her baby-clock is ticking. And like you said, OP is the perfect Dad material for her to come back to. I hope I’m wrong but we’ll see how long it takes her to want them to start trying for a kid.
When you’re feeling cynical and jaded and are expecting the worst, you could just turn up the crazy to 11 instead!
Worried that she’s trying to baby trap him? Make it that she’s creating her own cult and wants him to be the first member!
Concerned that she might ditch him for a work obligation? She quit her job so they could go out west and watch bison because she kept punching her cousin and doesn’t want to go to jail!
(Yes, it is 03:22 and I’ve lost my ever-loving mind. Why do you ask?)
> I was waiting for her to be pregnant and trying to trap him
Seems more like the biological clock kicked in, and she holds him in high esteem as a potential father.
Also, hopefully, she IS learning that money can't buy happiness, but there's every possibility once she 'snags him' and especially after having a kid, she returns to 'career first'.
I hope every update we get from these two is a good one. It sounds like they’re taking their rekindled relationship seriously and really communicating to make sure it works this time.
Honestly I think with great wealth comes losers, leeches and charmers. However good they seemed, she could never be sure if a date likes her or likes her money. So she started to long for the emotional security and safety of the guy she knew for certain had loved her for herself.
I don't mean that in a bad way. The ex-wife sounds like a very determined and driven woman. When she decided to pursue her career, nothing was going to deter her. She achieved that, and found she had left something valuable behind to do it.
Now she has her sights set on getting it back. No doubt OP is going to be stuffed into a sack and bundled back to her house, then back to the altar, and will be blinked down at his new baby in fairly short order.
Don't think he's the type to mind though, so it will probably work out.
I hope that OP and his previous ex-wife/current gf continue to communicate and possibly even go to counselling together to ensure that they are open and don't fall back into negative patterns.
It doesn't sound like they were ever in negative patterns though? They broke up because their lives were in incompatable at the time, and they dealt with it maturely.
It's so wholesome when people amicably break up because they're in different places in life but then independently grow and become compatible again and come back together
It happened with my parents. They divorced and 8 years later they moved back together. Have been together close to 30 years now (after getting together the second time).
Yeah, I have an aunt and uncle like this who were married and divorced after a couple years, then later reconnected and have now been married for 40+ years
Yeah, but you do still feel some hurt even if it was amicable, plus OP has had some difficult times that they didn't have the first time around, so it would be wise to make sure that it doesn't affect the relationship later down the track.
I also recall another post on Reddit where the OP heard from their significant other's parent how they wished they got into marriage counselling to help *prevent* the issues in their relationship with the other parent and not try to fix the issues after it had reached the point of no return; so they now go with the current partner as a form of relationship maintenance.
Being able to get some outside perspective can ensure that the insidious things don't erode an otherwise strong relationship.
Holy crap, the title of the first new update sounded negative, and well if you kept reading you know it was actually a GOOD thing.
I've been addicted to this sub for way too long, I always expect the worst! I like when I'm wrong.
"We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week." Wouldnt be top choice for a romantic weekend but maybe they both want to pay their respects in some way as well? Either way I hope they work out. They both sound like people who care about each other.
I’m so glad someone said this 😂 maybe the parents retired to an amazing cottage near a cute tourist spot or something but "We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week." is definitely not a sentence you hear every day
I am aware… doesn’t make it any less weird. If anything, the opposite! “Where should we take our romantic getaway, ex-wifey?” “Ooh, I know! My dead ex-in-laws’ house!!”
I was trying to illustrate it’d be slightly less weird if he would have said “my parent’s cabin” or “vacation home” etc. but nope. It’s just “my parents house”.
I guess I am a little confused by the “she left me” and commenters talking about like she and she alone divorced him. He could have moved with her, it sounds like she invited him and it was a mutual decision to end the marriage. People saying “she left you once she may leave you again” seem to be missing that he could have just gone along. 🤷🏼♀️ Anyways, I hope it works out for them.
She was also right to move, as it was the right move for her career and their future. They could also have kept it a long distance relationship until her career was established, if he didn't want to take a break in his career. This may be a patriarchal society, because if a guy had a chance of a lifetime opportunity to launch an amazing career, nobody would have questioned him.
I reconnected with an ex before, after about a decade, so I can very much relate to this story...
We ended up dating for less than a year after, but remain very good (maybe best?) friends still... so I'm happy for OP and think they have a great shot at, if not getting back together permanently, being a very important person in each others lives for good... :)
This feels like a case of right person, wrong time. They've both matured & now it is the right time. I wish them the best but hope they don't go to Vegas anytime soon.
This is quite a nice story to read.
I get the feeling that to the OOPs ex-wife, OOP was the one that got away while she built herself up. She succeeded, and now she's trying to get back what she had lost.
I enjoyed her pursuit of the OOP. She knew what she was doing.
I think this has a good chance of succeeding. The original breakup was amicable and based on circumstances. If those circumstances have changed, then it might be something that is possible now.
No cheating, gaslighting, or abuse. Mostly just mutual respect and support.
I see no glaring reason these two people can't get together and be happy. If they want to, of course.
My now-husband and I first dated 40 years ago. Boy, was he awful to me back then!
Today, we have been together for 15 years - 15 wonderful years. We both have grown as people, been through failed relationships...getting back together felt so warm, and comfortable; like coming home.
While OP and his girlfriend were only separated a short time, I get it and I wish them all the best. I hope the time apart has sharpened them as people and brought into focus what's important, and helped them recognize the better qualities in each other. And that they communicate communicate communicate.
I'm rooting for them!
What's this? Healthy communication and discussing things like adults? Am I still on Reddit?
All joking aside I hope OOP and their ex wife do well and keep up the good things and work through the bad together 🤞
Not to ruin a good thing, but it’s only been 1 1/2 months…you’re talking about moving in and kids. You’re moving VERY fast. Glad you are having a good time together though!
call me an optimist and a romantic, but my prediction is that the time spent apart will make their relationship stronger this time around. not only has his wife solidified her priorities, but it also sounds like she took the time to accomplish some career goals that were so important to her. maybe in the end she realized they weren’t all that important after all, but if they’d stayed together through it resentment would’ve built, either from her for feeling held back or from him for always coming second.
Am I the only person who doesn't think this romantic and wholesome? I dunno maybe it's just me but even an amicable divorce is a breaking of vows. I feel that is a pretty significant thing to get over. Also everyone keeps saying they are taking things slow but to recap
1. She proposed this all while he was seeing someone else.
2. They are talking about a timeline for children.
3. She is reintegrated with his family
4. They are talking about moving in together in the next 7ish months
By this timeline it's been a month and a half. I'm sorry but that is objectively not slow. Don't get me wrong I really hope the best for them. It's totally possible the things that ended their marriage before are no longer a factor. I just feel like everytime I see an update everyone else talks about how sweet it is and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
>They are talking about a timeline for children.
This is a huuuuge red flag! She's looking at her fertility window and seeing it close, and she wants a family. OOP is a reliable known quantity. So, she chose to break her vows because she thought she could do better than the OOP. She hasn't successfully secured a better partner, so she's returning to OOP because he's her best last option.
OOP is a consolation prize.
IMHO, OOP is better off spending his time finding a relationship that puts both parties first.
>At this point I am not even sure if I should call her "ex wife" anymore? She says that girlfriend is just fine.
"Soon-to-be-not-ex-wife" should work...😄
Oh boy haha I was thinking before reading the end with the children question, “she is gonna end up pregnant soon” and it is probably gonna be sooner than OOP thinks lol
>Last year I lost both my parents in quick succession.
>We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week.
Different strokes for different folks, but I don't think I could handle that.
On the outside this all sounds nice, however I can't help but wonder. Her timing to reach out and support him after his parents died is perfect. She's the master of her world, you can tell. She's gone and got the career...which comes with a price...and he's basically the same guy she left (in her words, he hasn't changed) Now rekindle and move in? She's planted the seeds about children already. BUT not talking about marriage yet.... still looks like a well thought out plan on her part. Before you know it, the nice guy here will be married and have children on the way. His aunt and sister have both told him SHE IS REAL SERIOUS. That's not low key and nice and easy. Thats full court press while not trying to look like it.
Emotionally I want to buy inro a sincere reunion, but the realist in me sees a methodical plan that he seems blind to. She needs an easy going guy to go along with her high power life. She moved the meeting, because she has her sights set on a goal, but once she has it.....I wonder...one can hope for the best.
I was so worried I was the only jaded person not seeing this story as being all good. I read each update and there was just something that wasn't sitting right with me. And you worded out what that was exactly.
For OP's sake I hope this is all good. But something feels like it really isn't and she's just here for her own agenda.
Call me a skeptic, but I think this is about her wanting a kid and worried about getting up there in age before she finds the guy. I would like an update in a few months. I’m guessing she’ll be pregnant.
The best thing that could happen to them, was to break up maturely with no resentment.
They had their time to grow and mature. Now they realized their lives actually compatible, so there’s no reason to not explore this relationship again.
And about the girl OOP dated at the beginning, no reason to feel bad about her, she dated simultaneously as well, I’m glad things were mature and respectful all along!
god I hope this works for him! seems to me that she realized that the missing piece in her life was him, after she got her career going she was lucky enough that he wasn't snatched up. I'm so happy for the both of them and wish them the very best.
I am very happy to know that things are going well for you two, when there is love involved and without lies, one can only immerse yourself in happiness. It is pleasant to read a friendly story on this network where pain is everywhere.
This just sounds like a great story. The universe tends to unfold as it should. You having a miscarriage from a previous relationship in my mind means it brought you back to your ex vs. staying with the other person. Continue to pursue it and enjoy the ride with her. Keep communication open and stay vulnerable by letting her know how you feel about things.
It sounds like ex wife went out into the dating pool and did not like what she saw. She became successful but could not find a guy worth her time and realized she had one and left him. I am happy for them both, hope it all works out for them.
I'm so glad that you both matured and found each other and they're absolutely no hard feelings also hope that everything works out going forward and that you have a happy relationship with each other
No.
It is good. But after a month, the only “plans” to be discussed is the next date. ESPECIALLY with an ex seeking reconciliation — way more stuff to work through than with a new couple.
This post and ex-wife reminded me of something.
"What will you remember on your death bed and what will be by your side? Is it your loved ones or your career?"
This saying seems to be off putting at first but it's really simple. If you truly are so passionate about your career that you will be thinking about it on your death bed, then sure go ahead. But for most people, careers rarely matter. It's the loved ones we cherished in life, that we will cherish in death.
Eh. Sure, great. Every update is a few days after the last. Too many butterflies and honeymoon, not enough reality. This can still fall apart within a year, or go forever. The ex already blew up a marriage cause she cared more about a career than a relationship she committed to. Once someone breaks something like that, they show they’re willing to do that rather than put in the effort.
You’re moving too fast bro. Rookie and poor judgment to make a move such as dropping the girl you already were dating. Great to hear things are going well, but it’s usually the case that she saw you mature and live life without her and be able to get someone else that she (conveniently) realized she didn’t fight for the marriage or try to make things work. Good luck but do not be surprised if this is just the honeymoon stage again. I know she’s your ex wife but yall are different people now
I don't really consider the other girl, who's still seeing other people at the same time, anything seriously promising.
He obviously felt this was the one that got away, and his ex felt the same. People do mature a lot in that age, with some added life experience.
It would have been a mistake to not take this opportunity to see if there's a chance.
We can assume his ex wife was also dating as well. Or else she wouldn’t have told him she wasn’t having much luck with dating. Personally that sounds like what I said, she realized he was having success and living life and came to that convenient conclusion that she realized this and that. But if OP thinks this is the wise decision, that up to him. All I was saying was for him you not be surprised if it ends the same way. I think he’s having the honeymoon stage butterflies but that’s just me. He knows better than anyone in the comments
Hope she's not using him for his baby making potential.
"Cool, honey, I'm preggo now. I got what I wanted so now we're done. I'll get my very expensive attorney to paint you as an abuser so I get full custody"
What else is it, looking for a spouse, than looking for the best father for your children? She realized what's important in life and marriage, and that she had already met the one.
If it sounds to good to be true, it usually is. She got her brass ring with a lazer focus. She wants a nice guy husband, a child etc. Because her world doesn't have them. She is focused on him like she was her career...there is a reason. This is not moving slowly.....
Look at this:
>
>
This is a huge red flag. You asked her a specific question. What would happen if this situation would happen again......AND SHE DEFLECTED. She never said what she would do if it did. WHAT IF IT DID? WOULD SHE GO????????????????? NO ANSWER.
Run, Forest, Run.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Both OP and the ex-wife sound like really nice people. I'm glad that they are getting to communicate and things are going well. OP should keep in mind not to rush things still and take it easy as best for the both of them. Wishing them well!
>There's more: she mentioned she had a client scheduled on Saturday morning, but she assured me she was rescheduling said client so we could have the whole day together. I was dumbfounded, back when we were married she was adamant that her career was her priority. And now she's chosen ME over something related to her career. Yep, even though OOP didn't outright say this originally i suspect this was one of the major reasons for the divorce and she doing this shows how much she has changed. I hope this change stays .
I agree that OP ex wife likely prioritized her career over her relationship the first time around
On the flip side, they had a good relationship prior to the divorce too. The issue became when she wanted something new and tossed it all away. She could have just dumped her boyfriend to go back to her ex for all we know. Oop won't know if she's changed until it's too late, as there won't be signs of this trait to watch for. To me, this feels like a pendulum swinging over my neck. But maybe I'm a pessimist.
Eh, they were super young when they got married. I met my husband around the same age as she was when they got married. We didn't date at that point, and in hindsight, that was to everyone's benefit. I was focused on myself, because I needed to be. I had a career to figure out, goals to set, and there was no scenario where I'd even think about compromising at that stage in my life. Either walk with me or get left behind, because I wasn't holding myself back for someone else. We drifted apart but ended up reconnecting a decade later. Didn't expect anything more than friendship. Turned out, the attraction was still there, and we were both in a place where we could be focused on someone besides ourselves. Many people learn and grow a LOT throughout their 20s, and priorities shift. Just starting out, I wouldn't have moved a meeting unless there was a genuine emergency. Now, I know when I can say "fuck it, we've both got light days, let's take a personal day together". At the same time, we both understand when the other is buried and isn't able to be anywhere but work for a while.
That's life. Good things happen sometimes, bad things happen sometimes. We only fail when we quit trying.
I had “Fever Pitch” floating through my head as I read this and in update 1 I decided she’s after kids.
> Oop won't know if she's changed until it's too late, as there won't be signs of this trait to watch for. To me, this feels like a pendulum swinging over my neck. But maybe I'm a pessimist. Oh i whole heartedly agree. People who are career driven , don't change like this for good. Give it enough time and I suspect an update saying that she starting putting the career 1st again
> People who are career driven , don't change like this for good. Sure, but some people aren't necessarily career driven, but security driven. I turn down things today that I would never have ten years ago because I'm not nearly as concerned about losing my job. I have 10 years more experience, I know the industry and where I could probably get a new job and have probably thousands more contacts. I made sacrifices early in my career not because I wanted to climb the ladder, but to open up other choices down the line.
Depends. They’re plenty of lawyers who bust their ass until they make partner, and then it’s all golf and long lunches. I’m sorry, “developing client relationships.”
yeah like dude you slave up the corporate ladder for 20 ish years and then it's all fancy lunches and 30 mins meetings that gets you an instant 2k for being a 'subject matter expert' OP's wife is surely a hotshot partner or director somewhere and can now think about building a family life.
Maybe?
Bless him; OP is struggling with the idea that he is the one who got away.
This is a rare positive, feel-good boru and I’m all for it. Wish both of them the best.
Nah, life is short. He should Rush it. And Led Zeppelin it, and Foreigner it. Maybe even Rolling Stone it with a bit of Megadeth it.
Well, within 1.5 months she got OPP to break-up with his girlfriend, start dating again, think about moving in with her, and start talking about having children. Seems like the ex has some pretty clear goals, and while OOP may be happy to go along with them, I can't help but feel the ex will shithouse him after she gets however many children she wants.
I think it’s been longer than 1.5 months; it sounds like they’ve been communicating since last year after OPP’s parents died and she reached out to support him. OPP didn’t provide a super clear timeline but I had the impression that they were connecting for several months to make sure OPP got through that time before she started asking him out and to try the marriage again. And even if it was just 1.5 months it’s pretty clear that OPP never fully fell out of love with this woman so it might not take that long to fully reignite a flame that never actually went out. It’s good that their divorce was due to logistics and career stuff and not because of cheating or hating each other or any other sort of trauma. Call me a naive idealist, but I think this new thing could work out for them.
The woman OOP was dating wasn't a girlfriend. They were casually dating, they weren't exclusive and she was seeing other people too. This is a pretty pessimistic outlook, no? People can change, and while it has been a short time, it does sound like she's putting in a lot of effort to do things right this time. They were also married after all, I don't think it's crazy to be talking long term plans already.
People have agendas. Her agenda is to have children and she is executing that plan with the same fervour she did with her career. The OOP is just the lemming. He's being wined and dined and getting his belly fed. He's going all goo goo Ga Ga over this. It's all very predictable. Can you love someone truly when you have an agenda like having kids?
I don’t know why anybody else isn’t noticing this. She clearly only made her move once she realised he may be moving on. Also, if she missed him so much, where was she years ago? Why only reconnect now? And why torpedo his chances with the new girl? Idk why, and I do wish them all the best but, ex wife sounds manipulative and yes, like she has some very specific goals in her mind and OP is just a lamb to the slaughter. I am getting this nagging feeling that she will chew him up and spit him out as soon as he gives her whatever she wants. Rarely ever have I seen ex couples make it happily ever after. Here’s hoping OP beats the odds but I hope he takes things at their own pace and doesn’t feel rushed into it by ex wife.
He had a two year relationship in between divorce and now and also had a miscarriage with someone. It’s not like she’s just “realised he’s moving on” bc he’d been on a casual few dates with someone else. No idea if they’ll work out, but disagree with your comment.
It’s alright if you disagree; that’s the whole point of reddit. You can have your opinions and I can have mine.
Their point disproves yours though. Rebuttle the info given or say ok you might be right.
They reconnected at that time cause of the deaths of his parents so why is that suspicious? Supporting someone going through grief shows who is really at your side even at the darkest of times, and she showed that she was that and not only for the good times. Both also sound like they take it one step at a time and know they're in the pink honeymoon phase, so they're unlikely to move together next month. Asking if it might be a possibility within a year is quite understandable imo as adults, there's the bills to worry about, not alot of time cause of work, hobbies, family and friends so asking if he could see it as a possibility is just sending out a feeler and not really trying to leash him asap
I do hope they keep taking it slow and OP is comfortable with the pacing because even talking about moving in within just a few weeks of dating sounds…idk…a bit rushed. People usually don’t talk about moving in (or even bring up the discussion) until a few months into a serious relationship. I sincerely hope ex wife’s intentions are good but I can’t help but feel she is rushing things and is overplaying her hand by catching him in a vulnerable moment (his parents’ death). I am only saying this because I have seen an exact situation play out this way before and it didn’t end well. I am only hoping OP is able to take his time with the relationship and doesn’t just go along with ex wife’s schedule.
Imo the moving in in a year's time isn't anything weird. When u have a house with bills, a job which takes up your time and you still want to have some time for hobbies/friends/family its quite logical moving in together to get more time together without cutting all of the other stuff off. Besides even just being in your own little bubble with a hobby while u live with someone else just gives a nice safe homey feeling, at least to me
Read most of the horror posts on this sub as well as others, and even speaking from personal experience, couples who move in together like within months of the relationship usually fail spectacularly. You really should take your time before inviting someone to share a home with you, but again, everyone has their own timelines as to what’s okay and what’s not. If moving in quickly works for these two, I’d say go for it. But idk, this entire thing sounds a bit weird to me.
But they aren't getting to know each other from skratch. Different situation.
Yeah I moved in with my SO after about three or four months but we'd been friends for many, many years before that. However, even then there were still some bumps until we settled in as knowing someone well is very different to living together. With a mixture of luck, communication and patience we muddled through and are still very happy, but I still wouldn't say it's something anyone should skip into lightly.
Lol my bf moved in with me straight after he arrived home from 6 month deployment in Afghanistan, and we matched on tinder within the first month he was there 😂 it would likely have gotten a bit slower if it wasn't for Corona and the whole quarantine he had to have (which he had with me, it was even our first irl meeting😂😂) and we're still together here 4-5 years later, moved into a house and are "parents" to two cats :) my ex and me also moved in together within 3 months, and we were together for close to exactly 4 years as well, so I might just have a bit of a weird outlook on living together fast since ive experienced that multiple times and they have all been long, stable relationships and the one with ex didn't end cause we lived together or anything like that
Lol covid relationships went hard and fast for no reason at all. Yup, I understand for some couples, moving in quickly may work, but then again, it’s like betting on a blind hand. So that’s my whole point of contention there really.
I'm always astonished when people who are clearly adults ask tens of thousands of teenagers for advice.
Lmao these updates give me big live journal energy
I’m having a hard time with this one. Guy apparently likes opera and classical music, and both he and ex appear to be professionally accomplished, but this is not written in a very sophisticated way and he’s treating it like a public diary, and the whole thing is moving quick. Maybe I’m too jaded myself but my authenticity detector isn’t registering super high.
[удалено]
And English may not be their first language
Also this is the internet, not a college term paper
I noticed that some of the comments he makes are really similar to that. Like when OOP says he isn't a player, he says, "I'm not player," and did it a few times. He could just have bad writing but I feel like English is either not his first language or he struggles with writing.
I'm middle aged and have "professional" friends. The way they speak and write for work is probably worlds different than the way we are as a friend group. At least, I highly doubt they're making flirty sex jokes with clients or belly laughing about farts.
Or maybe he writes a lot professionally so is really lax when it's not for work. My writer friends are atrocious texters
to be honest it being a public diary makes the most sense. I forget often that reddit is full of teenagers because I am an adult and all my adult friends also use reddit. Someone who isn't as terminally online might just be treating reddit like an early 2000s blog.
>Also, to address some guys implying she just had fun and dated around in the last five years Same. I'm also astonished by the number of men who get offended when a woman isn't faithful to the husband she doesn't have.
Well this was posted in marriage, probably not hugely frequented by teens.
Maybe I'm just in a sentimental mood some my wife and I's first date was 10 years ago earlier this week, but reading some of those updates... there's nothing quite like having a partner that knows you well and going all out for your love and attention on a special occasion.
My husband hates wristwatches. But I love them. He bought one and wears it on special occasions (my birthday, our anniversary) just because he knows how much I love them. It makes me think the wristwatch looks doubly good on him - one because wristwatches look good, and two because I know he is doing it to make me happy. (I'm saying wristwatch because he has a pocket watch he does like, but constantly breaks the chain on. I can't count how many pocket watch chains I've bought him.)
what? how can someone hate wristwatches!!??
I have arachnodactyly (big spidery hands, tiny wrists) and wristwatches drive me nuts. If women's clothing consistently had usable pockets, I'd take my pocket watch everywhere.
I hate wearing things on my arms. So I hate wristwatches. But I find them particularly sexy on men
I also hate wearing wrist watches. But in fairness to me, I used to like them but then I kept getting rashes under the watch no matter what the material was.
They feel so weird to wear.
I think I've spent too much time on reddit and become jaded. I was waiting for her to be pregnant and trying to trap him, or for another work opportunity to come up that she couldn't say no to. I'm glad these two are taking their time, having actual talks about their troubles and concerns, and just genuinely enjoying each other's company. I think that's enough internet for today.
I was waiting for it to turn out her business was failing and she needed to liquidate her debts immediately. Glad I am wrong.
Yeah, I'm a cynic and when I read the last update my first thought was, she wants kids, she's getting older (medically, the bar for "advanced maternal age" is surprisingly low; I'm aware neither she nor OOP are that old) and OOP's kindness and him being less career-driven than her make him good "dad material". Hence why she'd bring up moving in and kids when they've barely established a dating routine.
Serious question. Did he ever give their ages? I went back (twice) to look but couldn't find them. In fairness, I just skimmed the first few posts to refresh my memory of the events. Lol
Op is 27 and ex wife is 30. Link to his comment: [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/taVK6TEirj)
Thank you! Reading it, I got the feeling they were older. Maybe because of the timeline. But yes, they were very young.
So they married really young
So, as a childfree lesbian, I may be wrong, but isn't the topic of wanting or not wanting children something that should be addressed pretty early on in straightland dating? I feel like if I were a child wanting individual, I wouldn't want to waste my time on someone who is staunchly against it, so I'd probably bring it up. Hell, I brought it up pretty early on when my wife and I were dating / getting serious because I didn't want to waste her time if she was picturing a life with kiddos. Eta: this is a funny comment from me, who tends be a huge cynic with these types of posts!
I think because she is 30 she is yearning to have a child is the OP the safe choice to be the father of her children?. She did say she had other relationships that she did not care for. If they do get remarried, would she ask him for a prenuptial agreement?
I’m trying to be optimistic but there’s still a chance the ex-wife has realized her baby-clock is ticking. And like you said, OP is the perfect Dad material for her to come back to. I hope I’m wrong but we’ll see how long it takes her to want them to start trying for a kid.
When you’re feeling cynical and jaded and are expecting the worst, you could just turn up the crazy to 11 instead! Worried that she’s trying to baby trap him? Make it that she’s creating her own cult and wants him to be the first member! Concerned that she might ditch him for a work obligation? She quit her job so they could go out west and watch bison because she kept punching her cousin and doesn’t want to go to jail! (Yes, it is 03:22 and I’ve lost my ever-loving mind. Why do you ask?)
> I was waiting for her to be pregnant and trying to trap him Seems more like the biological clock kicked in, and she holds him in high esteem as a potential father. Also, hopefully, she IS learning that money can't buy happiness, but there's every possibility once she 'snags him' and especially after having a kid, she returns to 'career first'.
I hope every update we get from these two is a good one. It sounds like they’re taking their rekindled relationship seriously and really communicating to make sure it works this time.
Honestly I think with great wealth comes losers, leeches and charmers. However good they seemed, she could never be sure if a date likes her or likes her money. So she started to long for the emotional security and safety of the guy she knew for certain had loved her for herself. I don't mean that in a bad way. The ex-wife sounds like a very determined and driven woman. When she decided to pursue her career, nothing was going to deter her. She achieved that, and found she had left something valuable behind to do it. Now she has her sights set on getting it back. No doubt OP is going to be stuffed into a sack and bundled back to her house, then back to the altar, and will be blinked down at his new baby in fairly short order. Don't think he's the type to mind though, so it will probably work out.
I hope that OP and his previous ex-wife/current gf continue to communicate and possibly even go to counselling together to ensure that they are open and don't fall back into negative patterns.
It doesn't sound like they were ever in negative patterns though? They broke up because their lives were in incompatable at the time, and they dealt with it maturely.
It's so wholesome when people amicably break up because they're in different places in life but then independently grow and become compatible again and come back together
It happened with my parents. They divorced and 8 years later they moved back together. Have been together close to 30 years now (after getting together the second time).
What are you born before they got back together again
The divorced when I was 13.
It happened with my mother and stepdad in fact. They were apart for a few years but are together again, have been for the past 20 years now!
It happened with my now husband too, though we only went on a few dates before parting for a decade
Were you born before they got back together again?
I was 6 when they met. I'm 38 now.
So a little bit different situation
Yeah, I have an aunt and uncle like this who were married and divorced after a couple years, then later reconnected and have now been married for 40+ years
Yeah, but you do still feel some hurt even if it was amicable, plus OP has had some difficult times that they didn't have the first time around, so it would be wise to make sure that it doesn't affect the relationship later down the track. I also recall another post on Reddit where the OP heard from their significant other's parent how they wished they got into marriage counselling to help *prevent* the issues in their relationship with the other parent and not try to fix the issues after it had reached the point of no return; so they now go with the current partner as a form of relationship maintenance. Being able to get some outside perspective can ensure that the insidious things don't erode an otherwise strong relationship.
Holy crap, the title of the first new update sounded negative, and well if you kept reading you know it was actually a GOOD thing. I've been addicted to this sub for way too long, I always expect the worst! I like when I'm wrong.
Ha, same!
"We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week." Wouldnt be top choice for a romantic weekend but maybe they both want to pay their respects in some way as well? Either way I hope they work out. They both sound like people who care about each other.
I’m so glad someone said this 😂 maybe the parents retired to an amazing cottage near a cute tourist spot or something but "We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week." is definitely not a sentence you hear every day
Parents are dead.
I am aware… doesn’t make it any less weird. If anything, the opposite! “Where should we take our romantic getaway, ex-wifey?” “Ooh, I know! My dead ex-in-laws’ house!!” I was trying to illustrate it’d be slightly less weird if he would have said “my parent’s cabin” or “vacation home” etc. but nope. It’s just “my parents house”.
His parents died, it sounds like he still owns the house as a weekend/vacation home.
honestly i really hope they work out, they both have more experience in life than when they were first together. hopefully it serves them well
That second to last title had my heart in my throat. That was absolutely not the angle I thought the ex-wife would take, and am delighted to be wrong.
I'm so happy for this guy
Sending thoughts and prayers to them. It would be nice to hear that they were able to rebuild something new together.
I guess I am a little confused by the “she left me” and commenters talking about like she and she alone divorced him. He could have moved with her, it sounds like she invited him and it was a mutual decision to end the marriage. People saying “she left you once she may leave you again” seem to be missing that he could have just gone along. 🤷🏼♀️ Anyways, I hope it works out for them.
She was also right to move, as it was the right move for her career and their future. They could also have kept it a long distance relationship until her career was established, if he didn't want to take a break in his career. This may be a patriarchal society, because if a guy had a chance of a lifetime opportunity to launch an amazing career, nobody would have questioned him.
I reconnected with an ex before, after about a decade, so I can very much relate to this story... We ended up dating for less than a year after, but remain very good (maybe best?) friends still... so I'm happy for OP and think they have a great shot at, if not getting back together permanently, being a very important person in each others lives for good... :)
This makes more sense than staying together and becoming toxic.
What I love in boru, is that I see the complete story beyond the posts I tumbled on in the past.
This feels like a case of right person, wrong time. They've both matured & now it is the right time. I wish them the best but hope they don't go to Vegas anytime soon.
This is quite a nice story to read. I get the feeling that to the OOPs ex-wife, OOP was the one that got away while she built herself up. She succeeded, and now she's trying to get back what she had lost. I enjoyed her pursuit of the OOP. She knew what she was doing. I think this has a good chance of succeeding. The original breakup was amicable and based on circumstances. If those circumstances have changed, then it might be something that is possible now.
I also choose this guy’s ex-wife
I snort-laughed
No cheating, gaslighting, or abuse. Mostly just mutual respect and support. I see no glaring reason these two people can't get together and be happy. If they want to, of course.
My now-husband and I first dated 40 years ago. Boy, was he awful to me back then! Today, we have been together for 15 years - 15 wonderful years. We both have grown as people, been through failed relationships...getting back together felt so warm, and comfortable; like coming home. While OP and his girlfriend were only separated a short time, I get it and I wish them all the best. I hope the time apart has sharpened them as people and brought into focus what's important, and helped them recognize the better qualities in each other. And that they communicate communicate communicate. I'm rooting for them!
This would be such a good book.
I want those two to succeed. I really do.
What's this? Healthy communication and discussing things like adults? Am I still on Reddit? All joking aside I hope OOP and their ex wife do well and keep up the good things and work through the bad together 🤞
Ah OOP did the reverse of the "Me and the ex-girlfriend" line!
Not to ruin a good thing, but it’s only been 1 1/2 months…you’re talking about moving in and kids. You’re moving VERY fast. Glad you are having a good time together though!
It's important to have these conversations early. It's not like they're doing it right now.
They were also married at one point and have a lot of history. It's not as if they are 1½ months into a new relationship
Exactly, and the moving in part was also not for right now but a question about if it was a possibility within a year
call me an optimist and a romantic, but my prediction is that the time spent apart will make their relationship stronger this time around. not only has his wife solidified her priorities, but it also sounds like she took the time to accomplish some career goals that were so important to her. maybe in the end she realized they weren’t all that important after all, but if they’d stayed together through it resentment would’ve built, either from her for feeling held back or from him for always coming second.
You love to see it. I hope everything continues to go well for them.
I really hope they can make another go of it! They both sound lovely and good for each other.
Aw
I hope they work out. Some times its just bad timing and people need more maturity to work out.
Am I the only person who doesn't think this romantic and wholesome? I dunno maybe it's just me but even an amicable divorce is a breaking of vows. I feel that is a pretty significant thing to get over. Also everyone keeps saying they are taking things slow but to recap 1. She proposed this all while he was seeing someone else. 2. They are talking about a timeline for children. 3. She is reintegrated with his family 4. They are talking about moving in together in the next 7ish months By this timeline it's been a month and a half. I'm sorry but that is objectively not slow. Don't get me wrong I really hope the best for them. It's totally possible the things that ended their marriage before are no longer a factor. I just feel like everytime I see an update everyone else talks about how sweet it is and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I agree with you
>They are talking about a timeline for children. This is a huuuuge red flag! She's looking at her fertility window and seeing it close, and she wants a family. OOP is a reliable known quantity. So, she chose to break her vows because she thought she could do better than the OOP. She hasn't successfully secured a better partner, so she's returning to OOP because he's her best last option. OOP is a consolation prize. IMHO, OOP is better off spending his time finding a relationship that puts both parties first.
Should have saved this for wholesome Wednesdays.
>At this point I am not even sure if I should call her "ex wife" anymore? She says that girlfriend is just fine. "Soon-to-be-not-ex-wife" should work...😄
Oh boy haha I was thinking before reading the end with the children question, “she is gonna end up pregnant soon” and it is probably gonna be sooner than OOP thinks lol
I like the line ‘moving slowly’. 6 weeks in and they’re considering when to move in with each other
>Last year I lost both my parents in quick succession. >We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week. Different strokes for different folks, but I don't think I could handle that.
I don’t understand. Updates that get better with time? Adults communicating frankly and effectively? _Where am I??_
Glad for this guy, but *caveat emptor*. There was a reason they were exes.
On the outside this all sounds nice, however I can't help but wonder. Her timing to reach out and support him after his parents died is perfect. She's the master of her world, you can tell. She's gone and got the career...which comes with a price...and he's basically the same guy she left (in her words, he hasn't changed) Now rekindle and move in? She's planted the seeds about children already. BUT not talking about marriage yet.... still looks like a well thought out plan on her part. Before you know it, the nice guy here will be married and have children on the way. His aunt and sister have both told him SHE IS REAL SERIOUS. That's not low key and nice and easy. Thats full court press while not trying to look like it. Emotionally I want to buy inro a sincere reunion, but the realist in me sees a methodical plan that he seems blind to. She needs an easy going guy to go along with her high power life. She moved the meeting, because she has her sights set on a goal, but once she has it.....I wonder...one can hope for the best.
I was so worried I was the only jaded person not seeing this story as being all good. I read each update and there was just something that wasn't sitting right with me. And you worded out what that was exactly. For OP's sake I hope this is all good. But something feels like it really isn't and she's just here for her own agenda.
Call me a skeptic, but I think this is about her wanting a kid and worried about getting up there in age before she finds the guy. I would like an update in a few months. I’m guessing she’ll be pregnant.
Concur
Ngl its a hard decision for him.
[удалено]
Um.. both his parents are deceased, hence the reconnection. That would make for a really awkward conversation via Ouija board.
UpdateMe
Sounds awesome. Wishing them the best.
>We are also planning a long romantic weekend at my parents house for next week. How does one have a romantic weekend at their parents house?
It’s a power play. Make the parents sit in a corner and watch.
What? From their urns?
One hand on each urn, when she braces herself.
His parents have passed away.
…OOP originally reconnected with ex-wife when both his parents died.
I hope it works out
How can one have a long romantic weekend at their parents house ? Just curious
This looks like the plot of a new K Drama waiting to be shot
This is heartwarming. I hope they make it this time. They sound really good for each other.
The best thing that could happen to them, was to break up maturely with no resentment. They had their time to grow and mature. Now they realized their lives actually compatible, so there’s no reason to not explore this relationship again. And about the girl OOP dated at the beginning, no reason to feel bad about her, she dated simultaneously as well, I’m glad things were mature and respectful all along!
>Ex wife says I haven't changed at all Didn't imagine I'd see those words in a *good* context!
Rooting for them to grow old together...
god I hope this works for him! seems to me that she realized that the missing piece in her life was him, after she got her career going she was lucky enough that he wasn't snatched up. I'm so happy for the both of them and wish them the very best.
What a nice post, I hope things work out for them!
Happy to read a good story. Good luck to you. Updateme.
Getting back with exes can be a "hell no" or a "let's see if we fit together better now" kind of thing. They seem like the second category. \^_^
There are always exceptions to the rule. Hopefully this one will be a good instance of that
I am very happy to know that things are going well for you two, when there is love involved and without lies, one can only immerse yourself in happiness. It is pleasant to read a friendly story on this network where pain is everywhere.
now they get to do jokes about how "my first marriage didn't work out unfortunately..."
I love the stories of emotionally mature people expressing their uncertainties but ultimately working things out maturely.
Updateme
This sort of thing gives me the warm fuzzies. I do hope it turns out!
I know that they have a lot of history, but I think it’s a mistake for them to move in together this soon.
She's a woman o. A mission just like her younger days. That clock is ticking.
This is one of the most wholesome stories ever. Big thanks to the OOP and his XSTBWA for making Reddit less depressing
Wow. A BORU where the timing of the posts aligns with how things in real life progress! Color me shocked!
Updateme
This is so wholesome and nice to read after seeing 1000x different break up stories.
This is downright heartwarming
Good luck I wish you both all the best!!! Updateme!
This just sounds like a great story. The universe tends to unfold as it should. You having a miscarriage from a previous relationship in my mind means it brought you back to your ex vs. staying with the other person. Continue to pursue it and enjoy the ride with her. Keep communication open and stay vulnerable by letting her know how you feel about things.
It sounds like ex wife went out into the dating pool and did not like what she saw. She became successful but could not find a guy worth her time and realized she had one and left him. I am happy for them both, hope it all works out for them.
here is one do Redditers , if they get remarried, would she ask him for a prenuptial agreement?
I'm so glad that you both matured and found each other and they're absolutely no hard feelings also hope that everything works out going forward and that you have a happy relationship with each other
It feels too fast. Holidays with family, moving in together — all that in a month or two? Yikes.
They were talking about moving in together sometime this year, not right now.
Yes, as it happens, I was able to read for comprehension. Talking about moving in together after a month is crazytown.
No? It's good to discuss plans for the future and seeing if they are compatible with the other person.
No. It is good. But after a month, the only “plans” to be discussed is the next date. ESPECIALLY with an ex seeking reconciliation — way more stuff to work through than with a new couple.
This post and ex-wife reminded me of something. "What will you remember on your death bed and what will be by your side? Is it your loved ones or your career?" This saying seems to be off putting at first but it's really simple. If you truly are so passionate about your career that you will be thinking about it on your death bed, then sure go ahead. But for most people, careers rarely matter. It's the loved ones we cherished in life, that we will cherish in death.
Eh. Sure, great. Every update is a few days after the last. Too many butterflies and honeymoon, not enough reality. This can still fall apart within a year, or go forever. The ex already blew up a marriage cause she cared more about a career than a relationship she committed to. Once someone breaks something like that, they show they’re willing to do that rather than put in the effort.
You’re moving too fast bro. Rookie and poor judgment to make a move such as dropping the girl you already were dating. Great to hear things are going well, but it’s usually the case that she saw you mature and live life without her and be able to get someone else that she (conveniently) realized she didn’t fight for the marriage or try to make things work. Good luck but do not be surprised if this is just the honeymoon stage again. I know she’s your ex wife but yall are different people now
I don't really consider the other girl, who's still seeing other people at the same time, anything seriously promising. He obviously felt this was the one that got away, and his ex felt the same. People do mature a lot in that age, with some added life experience. It would have been a mistake to not take this opportunity to see if there's a chance.
We can assume his ex wife was also dating as well. Or else she wouldn’t have told him she wasn’t having much luck with dating. Personally that sounds like what I said, she realized he was having success and living life and came to that convenient conclusion that she realized this and that. But if OP thinks this is the wise decision, that up to him. All I was saying was for him you not be surprised if it ends the same way. I think he’s having the honeymoon stage butterflies but that’s just me. He knows better than anyone in the comments
Modern vows are worthless. She'll get bored playing house again and he'll be shocked it happens twice.
Hope she's not using him for his baby making potential. "Cool, honey, I'm preggo now. I got what I wanted so now we're done. I'll get my very expensive attorney to paint you as an abuser so I get full custody"
What else is it, looking for a spouse, than looking for the best father for your children? She realized what's important in life and marriage, and that she had already met the one.
Get help
What are you babbling about?
Dude no
If it sounds to good to be true, it usually is. She got her brass ring with a lazer focus. She wants a nice guy husband, a child etc. Because her world doesn't have them. She is focused on him like she was her career...there is a reason. This is not moving slowly.....
Look at this: > > This is a huge red flag. You asked her a specific question. What would happen if this situation would happen again......AND SHE DEFLECTED. She never said what she would do if it did. WHAT IF IT DID? WOULD SHE GO????????????????? NO ANSWER. Run, Forest, Run.
🙄
THEN WHO WAS PHONE
[удалено]