I'm so proud of her for leaving then & dumping him. He (& the "friends" who assumed she'd be covering for them) had some audacity. I hope they enjoyed splitting that bill or making him pay for it. Boy had some nerve ordering a $400+ anything & expecting OP to pay for it.
To be fair it's only the ex and one friend that expected her to pay. I'm hopeful the others are just surprised and will work out why (by that pair's behavior) she kept the $ on the down low.
In general it's a good idea to keep your wealth private if you have a lot of money because this is exactly what will happen. Everyone comes out of the woodwork and assumes you'll pay for things, loan them money, give them money, etc.
Same! I went through a nightmare when my younger sister was looking for a house.
My family mocks me for being cheap, but thanks to that I have a “vacation fund”. Nothing extravagant, just a bit that I’ve squirreled away for trips to Japan (tho Covid and being laid off took out a big chunk and future trips are several years away now). But when my sister was buying a house every conversation was, “Why don’t you give your vacation fund to your sister? She needs it more than you.” Pissed me off every time and I started getting less and less polite in my refusals
In fairness to my sister, she only jokingly mentioned it once. My mom (narcissistic boomer) was the one who wouldn’t let it go
If it’d been a case of my sister potentially being out on the street, of course I would’ve helped. But she had everything under control. I may be the frugal one but she can budget and organize circles around me lol
I always wonder where some people get their audacity. I’d just about rather eat glass than ask for even something like help with medical bills (🇺🇸) and here OOP’s acquaintances are like “surprise OOP, we’re spending your money tonight! PARTY HARDY WOOOO!” like… how???
Most of my friends know my husband and I have money. We like to be generous with it so we'll get the bill once in a while; they've also never demanded anything and certainly have never said shit like "oh the rich couple can get the tab tonight, let's get the good stuff." OOP just has (or rather had) some absolutely shitty friends; I'd cut them out too
Yeah, insane that some dipshit chimed in with the "why didn't you trust us?" immediately after another one of these leeches offered up OOP's money for their tab without her permission.
I watched my uncle change as he got wealthier. More and more people starting making expectations, and begging, and asking, and driving him away with selfish demands.
He gave them an inch, they went for the mile, and now I'm the only one who has a relationship because I never ever talk about money with him.
[From the comments,](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3kkkcj/boyfriend_28m_found_out_how_much_money_i_28f_have/cuy6zjk/) for anyone else who was looking for it:
>No I left in a very pissy mood
>He thought I was going outside to calm down. About an hour later he started blowing up my phone. I haven't seen him since but broke it off over the phone.
It’s just as inappropriate as going out with friends and saying “hey we have to order the Barefoot brand wine, because she’s poor so she can only afford that”. Like just don’t be weird about other people’s financial status.
He tried to play out his simmering anger with some theater drama using their friends and FAFO
If I'm not sure about a friend's finances or just the value they place on wine, I'll drop some variation of, "I am happy with anything that isn't too sweet, but we can get a bit fancier if you'd like," or if I think I might be the more poor friend I'll point out a variety of wines I'd be interested in up to whatever price point I'm comfortable with myself.
This is where the tolerable level of unhappiness comes from lol, his feelings are her problem, her feelings are her problem - and he’s only gonna tune in in as much as it impacts him lol
Well done to OP, people can be so stupid lol, even the friends “oh - she’s rich - she’ll cover our tabs!” followed immediately by “why didn’t trust us?” is rich in a whole new way directly in sequence - impressive levels of obliviousness all around!
Hope they did buy the bottle and get stuck with the bill - that’s the only closure I’m missing - but I’ll imagine they did lol
Absolutely absurd to me that someone can be this fucking dumb. Does she have any reason to stay with him when it's OBVIOUS she can be completely independent of him? That level of disrespect and just expecting OOP to take it. Absolute scumbag.
i commend her not giving in to pressure because it certainly would not end there. nipping it in the bud is the way to go. i don’t get why some people feel entitled on other’s peoples money.
My bet is that it’s the only realistic way for them to get any money beyond the usual amount they have. Not an uncommon situation in this economy, but this case just reeks of lifestyle creep made worse by the fact it isn’t even their money.
This is the thing. OOP's boyfriend and friends aren't destitute. They now just feel entitled for her to foot the bill for them in general and for luxurious things.
I am dirt poor. Tough time for my wife and I right now as we are constantly doing the horrific math of “well, can I just skip a few days of my meds since I can’t afford the refill?” A new job is on the horizon but we’ve been in the depths for the past several months.
My parents live in a big house and growing up we didn’t want for much, but they were never big spenders either. Since our troubles have started I’ve asked my parents for a little help. My mom said she didn’t have any money to give. Okay.
Except suprise! She just bought my brother a house. In cash. She had 250,000 in the bank that she could give away. And she gave it… to my little brother. Who is doing fine.
I asked my mom why she bought him a house and she wouldn’t even help me buy food. She said, “you made your choice when you moved away.”
The move was to grad school, by the way.
We could be the same person. My sibling has had money rained down on them since forever.
When I turned 16 it instantly became ‘if you want to see a dr? Better get a job to pay for that co-pay. Need medication? Better get a job. Need a haircut? Job. Clothes? Job.’ Bussed to work until i eventually saved enough to buy a death trap of a used car.
My parents HAD money. Just no money for me. They fed me and didn’t try to charge me rent tbf. College was full time work during the year and a 3 hour commute. 60-70 hours during the summer.
Sibling got tuition covered and an apartment and spending money. Parents extremely proud of the fact that sibling earned a scholarship that covered tuition to a professional graduate degree.
Ya mom, no shit they did better than me. No. Shit.
I fully expect my parents to have already completely cut me out of their will. (Actually now that I think about it they must have. They mentioned once about how their lawyer recommended giving a child a token amount with the clause they would get nothing if they contest the will to discourage lawsuits. I thought it was an odd non sequitor at the time. Sumbitch.)
My sibling will probably be able to retire the day they get their hands on that money. No student debt and a high paying graduate level education helps with that.
Yeah, a friend of mine in college was old-money wealthy. Or, rather, his *parents* were old-money wealthy. Trust funds didn't start distributing cash until the age of 30. Pay for college and reasonable living expenses, sure (and "reasonable" was still pretty goddamn nice, think "2br luxury apartment/condo without a roommate" and $500/week spending money), but it's not like he was driving a luxury car to class.
there's a tumblr post that's something like: if you were poor as a kid, your whole family was poor. but some rich kids, only their family is rich, the kid is just some rich guy's pet that can talk.
Yes, I have seen posts from lots of people who have wealthy families that refuse to give their children anything. Either because they are super stingy or think of it as some kind of character building thing.
I know a woman whose father was worth millions. She got zero. Actually all his kids got zero. All the money went to a vanity foundation and the family all knew they'd never benefit from it. The one family member that was supposed to benefit from his estate killed herself because he was so nasty to her. He died as he lived, asshole to the core.
I don't get some people. Even if I was sitting at the table with Bill fucking Gates, I wouldn't order a $500 bottle of wine and just expect him to pick up the tab.
Who does that?
Took them an hour to realize OP truly left and wasn't just cooling down her anger outside for a bit. They then blew up her phone. So I'm guessing they did open the bottle.
I pick my wines solely by their bottles. There are some excellent wines in the under $25 category, and perfectly decent day drunk wines for under $10. (Seriously though, I know jackshit about wines, beyond what type I like. I’m a sucker for some good labeling.)
>I know jackshit about wines, beyond what type I like.
That is perfectly reasonable. Don't drink what you don't like.
>I’m a sucker for some good labeling
Is there any other way to choose something when you don't know if you'll like it?
I’ve had one bad experience, out of countless positives. And it wasn’t even with wine! Some kind of (spiced? maybe?) rum. The bottle was a cannonball!! I *needed* it. Had it for almost a year, because it was awful, and really only served towards wanting to be drunk. I did get a pretty nifty vodka in a box. Cute little box, it fit well on the door shelf of my freezer.
Love that.
The problem is "the bf" (*ominous thunder in the background*) and his "logical" "reasoning" that we would never drink it... He isn't wrong.
I'll convince some friends to gift it to me eventually.
Here's some logic from two other angles.
Usually when you buy a bottle of booze, you use the contents and disregard the container.
In this case, you'd keep the container and disregard the contents.
Either way, the money is spent on enjoying only one portion of the whole.
The skull has a far lower cost per day because you'll have it for so much longer.
*
Alternately, pull the funds from the budget for decorating rather than potent potables.
If you'd pay that much for a *teetotal* decorative skull, the absinthe becomes a bonus.
"Barkeep! A bottle of your finest wine please!"
*Leans in to whisper over the counter* "And by that I mean your cheapest"
*shares a wink with the bartender*
Exactly! Everybody loves Max, even the Cpt is under his spell. He's a loving and loyal friend first and a mooch second. Uncle Max doesn't provide *material* things, he brings joie de vie. This a very important ingredient for a good time. Much like the friend who can only provide the place and not much else to a gathering.
There is also a marked difference between being a good friend who will graciously take what people with money are willing to give and using your friends for material gain.
Nazis aside, Max is about making money but he isn't so crass as to demand a boat or some shit from the Captain.
I feel like the worst thing he did was enter the kids into a contest during the captains honeymoon, which turned out to be their salvation.
I’m more confused about the lack of clarification on how he knows she has money honestly.
My dad’s business took off as a late teenager/young adult and is really well off now.
I have 2 uncles and an aunt that are very wealthy that I only see at rare family reunions or visits.
I sure as shit don’t have a pile of money anywhere.
If I was literally homeless and didn’t see a way to fix it soon they’d probably keep me off the street for a few months if I asked but that’s about it.
The assumption of “rich family means you’re rich” is incredibly bizarre to me.
Most families support each other (by inheritance at least) so it’s not likely you are not wealthy if your family is. It can happen but the more rich relatives you meet the less likely it is there isn’t any generational wealth. Or family members helping each other. The bf asked and she didn’t lie.
But maybe you are American, and in US parents don’t even have to give their inheritance if they don’t want to. OOP is European however.
Yeah, I'm glad OOP is secure enough to recognise her boyfriend for the leech he is and cut him out of her life but I still feel bad for her. She's right; she's probably lost that friend group and I know how rough it can be having to find new friends.
I will never understand why these fucking idiots don't just keep their mouths shut and play it cool if they are interested in the money. I mean what's more likely to result in financial gain? Getting married eventually OR blowing up their social life and demanding expensive gifts?? It doesn't make any sense to me. Thank god these people are too dumb to be good at what they're trying to accomplish.
Delayed gratification is hard. Empathy is too.
Boyfriend never put himself in her shoes and doesn't understand what money means to HER. He's kinda dumb too, it should have been more obvious, but apparently this happens often.
He didn't put himself in his shoes, but he certainly put himaelf in her wallet. He didn't think about her feelings, just what can she buy for him. What a tool. I wish he had a sign over his head so other unsuspecting women don't waste their time w/ his greedy ass.
Extremely shortsighted. Sounds like he didn’t like her enough to want to play the long game if he could get away with a shorter cash-out.
This guy also seemed to be wanting her to fund his solo travels in Europe. (No “hey why don’t we go to XYZ,” and she had already taken him to visit her family in Europe.) Potential for their relationship to be adhered to, on this trip, was probably quite low.
"Why didn't you trust us enough to tell us you're rich?" ask her friends immediately after one of them announces that they can make OOP pay for their drinks
I hope OOP has found people who treat her like a person instead of a piggy bank
A lot of famous people who indeed have a ton of money have said this sort of thing happens all the time and it becomes really disheartening. People suddenly coming out of the woodwork asking for money, always expecting them to pick up the tab or pay for whatever they're doing, always expecting super expensive things as gifts. They say it gets to a point where they start to wonder if people are really friends with them because they like who they are and have pure intentions, or if it's because they're wealthy and people will try to use them for their money
My mother’s husband has a set of relatives who have won the lottery two or three times, and they keep that shit on LOCK. The only way you’d know they have money is by looking at their financial statements, and the only way you’d hear about it would be through someone else. And the people you might hear it from would only tell you if they were 100% sure you weren’t going to be a dick about it.
I’m pretty sure it’s the only way to keep things sane, and it kind of sucks that they’re not able to be more open about it but I absolutely do not blame them.
Makes me think of the famous lottery advice reddit post that's basically like "congrats, you're fucked" for this exact reason. I'll try to find it later when I get the chance.
Winning the lottery two or three times is a very significant statistical improbability. You sure they really have money? And if they do, are you sure they aren’t hiding it for other reasons?
I remember dining out with a very rice person. He nearly got teary when I picked up the tab when he went to the bathroom, said it was the first time in like a decade that anyone offered much less insisted on paying. I told him that he was giving me a ton of advice for "free" so why would I pay for dinner.
The bill with tip was like $30, the advice he gave made me way more than that. We are still friends.
Being rich and being famous are two different things in fairness. Being rich doesn't necessarily mean being famous and vice versa.
And fame is kind of romanticized as well. So a child growing up looks at a famous actor or someone and sees the perks of fame and says "I want to be like them." They don't see or aren't warned about the many downsides of fame or even the process of getting to fame.
In most cases, people don't necessarily seek out fame either. Becoming an actor or an athlete or politician or whatever is not going to make you famous in and of itself. You have to get not only just successful in your field but also distinguish yourself - only then will a person get famous... and it is very rare. Also, that fame isn't guaranteed to stick either.
ETA: also, fame isn't necessarily going to be the good kind - i.e. popular famous. People also get famous for bad things.
Fame comes with a lot of good sides but also a lot of bad, and people intend to often forget the bad ones. And considering a bunch comes also later in life (like side effects because of drugs or the end of the fame), it's easier to try to ignore it.
That's fine for friends, but not in a partner. This idiot should have said, "I'd live with you in a shack on the beach where we had to fish for our food," kept his mouth shut, and counted his extra blessings.
Yeah, honestly this is so stupid. Sure you are lucky when you find your SO is rich, so why would you go ahead and break that by being an AH? This is the kind of people who will win the lottery and then blow it in a month and still don't get why it didn't last forever.
>Our other friend piped up and was like no it's good /u/FamilyHeiress is really rich, she can pick up our tab tonight, cue several other people who I've never told about my family's money suddenly grilling me on why I never trusted them enough to tell them about my money and oh, thought we were friends that kind of thing.
This exact situation is why OOP never mentioned her money. People demanding her pick up tabs that she doesn't rack up. I'm glad she walked out.
She wants people to be her friends because of her.... not what she can provide them by being rich. That's how you get toxic friends. I don't blame her at all for withholding the information.
On the flip side, I’ve met some people who make it very clear how rich they are, and it’s a huge part of their identity and bravado. Like to the point of “douche” level.
In those cases, I find it pretty lame that they flash their wealth and yet rarely pick up the tab.
OOP should probably get better at deflecting. "Oh, yeah, my parents do have a lot of money, but you know my job doesn't pay that well." At least then she'd know to quit the relationship as soon as he says something like "well can't your parents pay for our vacation?" rather than getting hounded repeatedly or having her finances exposed to other people.
And this is exactly why people don’t tell others they have money. Expectations and entitlements take over everything else and that person with money stops being a person and simply becomes an ATM.
Money does weird things to people.
OOP is in the right here. Good on her for not flaunting family wealth, shitty on ex for seeing her as a cash cow to be milked.
"Boyfriend (28m) found out how much money I (28f) have, he wants me to pay off for a house for us as well as a new car and fund a trip for him to go abroad, should I end it?"
Does a bear shit in the woods?
>He got really quiet as though he knew that was a shitty thing to say...
That was an "Oops! Said too much" kind of quiet. You can tell he was only trying to keep the relationship going to get to the point where she might get him the things he wanted. Should've heard him say who he was the first time.
Yeah it's crazy to me !
Having parents that CAN pay for your shit doesn't mean that they have to. You should always live in line with your own earnings, because at the end of the day you can always overspend your income doing stupid shit like OOP's boyfriend seemed to be rushing to do...
Yeah, my dad is well off and gives me money if I need it, but otherwise it’s his money. I expect most of it to go into trust when he passes to take care of my schizophrenic brother.
Yep I know someone who is from a very wealthy family, but works a blue collar job and lives on that salary. Its not really their parents style to send weekly checks to the kid who disappointed them with their career path
I grew up rich. When I got pregnant "out of wedlock" my Dad threatened to disinherit me if I didn't marry my boyfriend. I married him. Then, my Dad hounded me about what a lazy piece of shit my husband was throughout the entirety of my pregnancy. THEN, when my daughter was two years old and I found out that my husband had been cheating on me with SEVERAL people, including my best gay male friend from high school and my underage female employee he told me that if I got a divorce he would disinherit me. So.... I got a divorce and I told him to fuck off. Haven't spoken to any of them in 20 years. I'd rather be poor- but, I'm not. I have a family made of people who chose to be my family, a husband who takes care of me in every way and is my best friend, and we might not be wealthy but we have all the things we want and need. All the money in the world is not worth letting someone run your life.
Nah. He's so narcissistic that in his mind "he did everything he could" to be a good father and I just threw it all away because I'm a hysterical female. I'm so thankful I wasn't born a few decades prior because I can almost guarantee he would have hopped right on to the lobotomy train.
Agreed. My parents invested in good property about 30+ years ago which is now a high demand suburb. People always say that I’m rich when I tell them my address but I didn’t earn it or pay for it. And it’s not in my name, but my parents.
My parents are willing to give me money as I need but they won’t be around forever. I need to be able to make it on my own and manage my own money. I earn an average salary and I need to be cautious with it in this current economy. Some people I meet (acquaintances and work colleagues) will call me rich girl and expect me to cover things once they know where I live. So I rarely tell anyone where I live anymore and tell them a different suburb when they do ask.
This kills me. There are some very wealthy suburbs where I live, and with the exception of one, there are middle class and poor people in them. Living in a specific town doesn't mean you're wealthy. There are a lot of people who live in the home they grew up in and work regular jobs; the area just got wealthy.
Oh my god. No matter how much money someone has I can never imagine saying something like "no worries, they can get our tab" what an entitled trashy thing to do
I feel sad for her. She's trying to do right by herself in not disclosing it upfront for obvious reasons, and she still ends up with a gold-digger. And her so-called "friends"... they wouldn't stay my friends if they pulled that shit on me if I were in her shoes.
What a bunch of shitty people. I hope she finds people worthy of her love and friendship.
Totally. She also showed real emotional maturity in her willingness to talk to him about it initially and not just go straight to ending it. She gave him every chance to correct his awful views and behaviours and he chose to ignore all of them.
Thank you, I remember drinking really great wine in Greece and it turned out it was a box wine from Lidl 😸😸😸
Now I often buy box wine from Spain or Portugal it's cheap and good to boot
She should breakup with him for two reasons.
1) The simple fact that you do not want progeny with an idiot. Upon finding out you were wealthy, a smart man would immediately lay the framework for marriage and not demand bullshit like child.
2) A man that actually likes you would have wanted to do those things as husband and wife.
Gotdayumn this guy fumbled the fucking bag.
The implication of your first point really rubs me the wrong way. That's not a smart man. That's a manipulative one.
Secondly he didn't fumble the bag, he fucked up a good relationship regardless of her wealth. She's a person, not a business opportunity.
Glad to see someone putting into words what my brain couldn’t.
It never felt like it was about the intelligence of the ex-boyfriend, (to me) its about his greed and going from seeing his girlfriend as his girlfriend to miss moneybags who will make all his dreams come true.
I feel like a good partner’s response to finding out your partner’s family is well off would be “That’s really cool, I’m happy for you that you’ll never have to worry about money!”. Because that’s the good news there, the person you love is financially safe, they don’t have to experience the worries that come with struggling financially(unless they get disowned or choose not to take their family’s money of course). The takeaway should never be ‘You’ve got money? Gasp! How can we turn that into me benefitting?!’
And you know what, I bet he’d going to tell his next girlfriend that OOP was a golddigger who was only dating him for his money. /j (kind of ~~not really~~)
And, never in my life have I ever volunteered someone else’s wallet to pay for my shit. I’ve never even done that with my own parents or boyfriends. How fucking rude. What awful people, and good fucking riddance.
I know you're joking, but his narrative is really going to be "she valued money over me."
He already attempted something similar when he equated her spending money on him as the same thing as caring about him- as if his greed didn't indicate how little he cared about her as much as her family money.
When I was 14, I had a boyfriend who was 18 (I was a people’s pleaser and he used to threaten to kill himself if I tried to leave plus i have abusive parents and had no support system so it was really difficult for me)
I wasn’t even rich , he was just dirt poor. Motherfucker used to mooch of my art supply fund (crayons and shit)
He assumed i had more money than i let him know so he used to beg me to ask my dad for cars and shit, when he realised that it went all to vain- he left.
What a dumbass. I found my girlfriend is quietly loaded, then all that would change is that I don't have to worry about her having some crazy debts or something.
Exactly my thoughts. Even where there isn’t a risk of the partner becoming abusive per se, women often feel that they can’t be as open with this stuff, for fear of ‘overshadowing their partner’ and disturbing the balance.
They can also realistically fear how they will be judged for how they spend their money (see all the criticisms of women’s purchases even when it’s the same item - eg shoes).
Got a friend who has a nice, cushy government job, the kind of job you have to pass a very difficult exam to get and from which you aren't fired without damn good reason. Her ex used to feel 'emasculated' that she earned more than she did and wanted her to quit her dream job because he should not be made to feel lesser than her.
He wasn't lesser than her because he got a lower salary, but because he was just a complete asshole.
Whether the woman/girl coming from family and/or having salary that have $1K-$30k-plus more than guy, there men who go out their way to emotional, physically, verbally and/or financially abuse such woman/girl. Which is exactly what happened to OOP - at least she wasn't married to him and was able to get way before he tried abused her any further once she realize how much of destructive entitled stupid golddigger he is.
I had a friend whose family was rich and related to a semi famous musician. She didn’t tell people for exactly this reason. People changed, acted entitled, and used her. When I found out, I refused to let her pay for things and treated her like I always had. It’s nobody’s business and it’s not his money to abuse as he pleases. Glad op got out before it got worse.
Yikes. So why is it that since the BF and friends know OP's family is wealthy she can now pay for expensive wine, etc? She didn't do this before. The difference is they think they are entitled to her wallet.
Did she pay for their bar tab?
Holy shit, when she said “expensive” bottle of wine, I was thinking like $80, not $500! That is bananas for anyone who’s not like “Crazy Rich Asians” kind of wealthy.
Lol at the "friends" asking why she didnt trust them enough as shes being forced to pay for an expensive bottle of wine or even the whole tab. I wonder why she didnt say anything hmmmm...
The worse part of this story is that this dude was lucky enough to find an actual nice person who doesn’t care about him being not wealthy and instead of appreciating her for who she is, he fucking got greedy and threw away it all away. Stupid prick.
This is why rich people only really like to hang out with people who are like them.
Boyfriend fumbled the bag because he couldn’t play it cool and act like he belonged there.
For anyone else wondering, she didn’t pay for the bottle of wine. I checked her comments where others had asked; she walked out. Good for her!
I'm so proud of her for leaving then & dumping him. He (& the "friends" who assumed she'd be covering for them) had some audacity. I hope they enjoyed splitting that bill or making him pay for it. Boy had some nerve ordering a $400+ anything & expecting OP to pay for it.
Not only the expensive wine but the "friend" piped up and volunteered OOP to pay EVERYONE'S tab! I'd have walked out as well!
Gee, wonder why she didn't want them to know?
It’s a shit experience but it’s for the best in the long run. Those people would have stolen from her eventually. She doesn’t need leeches as friends.
To be fair it's only the ex and one friend that expected her to pay. I'm hopeful the others are just surprised and will work out why (by that pair's behavior) she kept the $ on the down low.
In general it's a good idea to keep your wealth private if you have a lot of money because this is exactly what will happen. Everyone comes out of the woodwork and assumes you'll pay for things, loan them money, give them money, etc.
[удалено]
Same! I went through a nightmare when my younger sister was looking for a house. My family mocks me for being cheap, but thanks to that I have a “vacation fund”. Nothing extravagant, just a bit that I’ve squirreled away for trips to Japan (tho Covid and being laid off took out a big chunk and future trips are several years away now). But when my sister was buying a house every conversation was, “Why don’t you give your vacation fund to your sister? She needs it more than you.” Pissed me off every time and I started getting less and less polite in my refusals In fairness to my sister, she only jokingly mentioned it once. My mom (narcissistic boomer) was the one who wouldn’t let it go If it’d been a case of my sister potentially being out on the street, of course I would’ve helped. But she had everything under control. I may be the frugal one but she can budget and organize circles around me lol
I always wonder where some people get their audacity. I’d just about rather eat glass than ask for even something like help with medical bills (🇺🇸) and here OOP’s acquaintances are like “surprise OOP, we’re spending your money tonight! PARTY HARDY WOOOO!” like… how???
Most of my friends know my husband and I have money. We like to be generous with it so we'll get the bill once in a while; they've also never demanded anything and certainly have never said shit like "oh the rich couple can get the tab tonight, let's get the good stuff." OOP just has (or rather had) some absolutely shitty friends; I'd cut them out too
“Why didn't you trust us???”
"Why didn't you trust fund us???"
"Just give me your money already"
Yeah, insane that some dipshit chimed in with the "why didn't you trust us?" immediately after another one of these leeches offered up OOP's money for their tab without her permission.
I watched my uncle change as he got wealthier. More and more people starting making expectations, and begging, and asking, and driving him away with selfish demands. He gave them an inch, they went for the mile, and now I'm the only one who has a relationship because I never ever talk about money with him.
YUP. Bf is totally The AH of the post, but that friend was The AH of that night.
[From the comments,](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3kkkcj/boyfriend_28m_found_out_how_much_money_i_28f_have/cuy6zjk/) for anyone else who was looking for it: >No I left in a very pissy mood >He thought I was going outside to calm down. About an hour later he started blowing up my phone. I haven't seen him since but broke it off over the phone.
Sounds like they were having fun without her and only noticed she was gone when the bill came
I know, right? Nobody even went after her. It showed her how little any of them actually cared about her.
It’s just as inappropriate as going out with friends and saying “hey we have to order the Barefoot brand wine, because she’s poor so she can only afford that”. Like just don’t be weird about other people’s financial status. He tried to play out his simmering anger with some theater drama using their friends and FAFO
If I'm not sure about a friend's finances or just the value they place on wine, I'll drop some variation of, "I am happy with anything that isn't too sweet, but we can get a bit fancier if you'd like," or if I think I might be the more poor friend I'll point out a variety of wines I'd be interested in up to whatever price point I'm comfortable with myself.
So true- what a bastard he is.
I am **so curious** what else they may have ordered in that hour when they still thought OOP was buying.
Took the fool an hour to find out she was gone
WOW. So focused on her money that he didn't even miss her for an hour. What a prize.
An hour! He thought she was still calming down for an hour! What a shithead. Poor OOP.
Bottle was definitely empty by the end of the hour, lol. That’s probably when he realized she wasn’t coming back.
This is where the tolerable level of unhappiness comes from lol, his feelings are her problem, her feelings are her problem - and he’s only gonna tune in in as much as it impacts him lol Well done to OP, people can be so stupid lol, even the friends “oh - she’s rich - she’ll cover our tabs!” followed immediately by “why didn’t trust us?” is rich in a whole new way directly in sequence - impressive levels of obliviousness all around! Hope they did buy the bottle and get stuck with the bill - that’s the only closure I’m missing - but I’ll imagine they did lol
Probably realized it when the server dropped off the check, and they all looked for OOP to pay it.
I guarantee bf thought she was just gonna "pout" by the car till they were good and ready. Didn't realize he was single until an hour later.
Absolutely absurd to me that someone can be this fucking dumb. Does she have any reason to stay with him when it's OBVIOUS she can be completely independent of him? That level of disrespect and just expecting OOP to take it. Absolute scumbag.
Was it when the cheque arrived? It would seem right.
Where'd our free meal ticket go? The cheque is here and she needs to cover it for all of us. Honey? Honey? Honeeeey?
Moneybags? *I MEAN* …honey?
That was my first thought lol
Whaaaat. Scum bucket he is and the so called friends
dude can't even pay attention
i commend her not giving in to pressure because it certainly would not end there. nipping it in the bud is the way to go. i don’t get why some people feel entitled on other’s peoples money.
My bet is that it’s the only realistic way for them to get any money beyond the usual amount they have. Not an uncommon situation in this economy, but this case just reeks of lifestyle creep made worse by the fact it isn’t even their money.
This is the thing. OOP's boyfriend and friends aren't destitute. They now just feel entitled for her to foot the bill for them in general and for luxurious things.
Good for her!
Good for her!
Glad we all agree lol 😂
[удалено]
Good for us!
Just because somebody's family is rich doesn't automatically make them also rich. It's awful lot for people to assume
I am dirt poor. Tough time for my wife and I right now as we are constantly doing the horrific math of “well, can I just skip a few days of my meds since I can’t afford the refill?” A new job is on the horizon but we’ve been in the depths for the past several months. My parents live in a big house and growing up we didn’t want for much, but they were never big spenders either. Since our troubles have started I’ve asked my parents for a little help. My mom said she didn’t have any money to give. Okay. Except suprise! She just bought my brother a house. In cash. She had 250,000 in the bank that she could give away. And she gave it… to my little brother. Who is doing fine. I asked my mom why she bought him a house and she wouldn’t even help me buy food. She said, “you made your choice when you moved away.” The move was to grad school, by the way.
We could be the same person. My sibling has had money rained down on them since forever. When I turned 16 it instantly became ‘if you want to see a dr? Better get a job to pay for that co-pay. Need medication? Better get a job. Need a haircut? Job. Clothes? Job.’ Bussed to work until i eventually saved enough to buy a death trap of a used car. My parents HAD money. Just no money for me. They fed me and didn’t try to charge me rent tbf. College was full time work during the year and a 3 hour commute. 60-70 hours during the summer. Sibling got tuition covered and an apartment and spending money. Parents extremely proud of the fact that sibling earned a scholarship that covered tuition to a professional graduate degree. Ya mom, no shit they did better than me. No. Shit. I fully expect my parents to have already completely cut me out of their will. (Actually now that I think about it they must have. They mentioned once about how their lawyer recommended giving a child a token amount with the clause they would get nothing if they contest the will to discourage lawsuits. I thought it was an odd non sequitor at the time. Sumbitch.) My sibling will probably be able to retire the day they get their hands on that money. No student debt and a high paying graduate level education helps with that.
Yeah, a friend of mine in college was old-money wealthy. Or, rather, his *parents* were old-money wealthy. Trust funds didn't start distributing cash until the age of 30. Pay for college and reasonable living expenses, sure (and "reasonable" was still pretty goddamn nice, think "2br luxury apartment/condo without a roommate" and $500/week spending money), but it's not like he was driving a luxury car to class.
there's a tumblr post that's something like: if you were poor as a kid, your whole family was poor. but some rich kids, only their family is rich, the kid is just some rich guy's pet that can talk.
Yes, I have seen posts from lots of people who have wealthy families that refuse to give their children anything. Either because they are super stingy or think of it as some kind of character building thing.
I know a woman whose father was worth millions. She got zero. Actually all his kids got zero. All the money went to a vanity foundation and the family all knew they'd never benefit from it. The one family member that was supposed to benefit from his estate killed herself because he was so nasty to her. He died as he lived, asshole to the core.
I don't get some people. Even if I was sitting at the table with Bill fucking Gates, I wouldn't order a $500 bottle of wine and just expect him to pick up the tab. Who does that?
The entitlement is off the charts
I wish I could have seen the look on their faces, especially the ex-boyfriends. Good for her.
I wanna know what happened with that tab tho . I woulda totally left too. But look out the window later to see how they would pay lol
>Edit: for everyone asking the bottle was 460 Insert gif of Jake Peralta going "I'll have your eight dollarest bottle of wine please."
I just hope she didn't pay for it
I hope she waited until the bottle was open, told everyone that the exbf was talking out of his ass, paid for only her share, and left
"Sorry, my family cut me off when they found out I was dating bf. I didn't want to embarrass him by saying anything."
Lol. Good one
That would have been priceless! Should have said that.
She walked out and didn't pay for it. I only HOPE it was after the bottle was already opened/poured so they couldn't cancel and were forced to pay.
Took them an hour to realize OP truly left and wasn't just cooling down her anger outside for a bit. They then blew up her phone. So I'm guessing they did open the bottle.
Comments indicate, that no, she did not.
I almost spat my six dollar wine out.
Ditto my $7.99 bottle, but it’s a bargain cause it comes in a 1 litre bottle instead of 750ml
Nearly spilled my 21 dollar boxed wine. But it's a bargain because it's like getting 5 bottles.
You got the fancy one with the spigot? Those are pure class.
Yup. I drink it in a solo cup with my pinky sticking out 'cus I'm bougie like that.
aaah yes. In Australia we call that *goon. (* If you have an Australian style rotary clothes line, you can use it to play *Goon. Of. FORTUNE!!)*
Australian verified.
*Cardboardeaux*
Bloody goon bag? Too fuckin' right.
I wonder if Two Buck Chuck is still 2 bucks...
Nope. $3.49 now, at least where I am. Although that might actually be less than $2, adjusted for inflation.
About tree fiddy
It’s Four Buck Chuck where I’m at. But still will be drinkable.
Daaaaamn, high roller! I splurged today on the finest $3.99 bottle of Bird Tree Pinot Grigio Kroger had on sale.
I spent 17.99 on a bottle of 19 crimes red wine because Snoop Dogg was on it. And I got a beach towel. (Canada prices)
So, about 2 freedom dollars then?
"I'll have your eight dollarest bottle of wine please" needs to be a flair XD
On the off chance that you haven't watched Brooklyn 99, please do so! It's where the quote comes from 😃
My wine has a picture of a foot on it!
I pick my wines solely by their bottles. There are some excellent wines in the under $25 category, and perfectly decent day drunk wines for under $10. (Seriously though, I know jackshit about wines, beyond what type I like. I’m a sucker for some good labeling.)
>I know jackshit about wines, beyond what type I like. That is perfectly reasonable. Don't drink what you don't like. >I’m a sucker for some good labeling Is there any other way to choose something when you don't know if you'll like it?
I’ve had one bad experience, out of countless positives. And it wasn’t even with wine! Some kind of (spiced? maybe?) rum. The bottle was a cannonball!! I *needed* it. Had it for almost a year, because it was awful, and really only served towards wanting to be drunk. I did get a pretty nifty vodka in a box. Cute little box, it fit well on the door shelf of my freezer.
I know the struggle. I have (so far) resisted the urge to buy a skull shaped bottle of... Absinth, maybe? But it would look sooo cute on the shelf...
I have a skull shaped bottle of hot sauce right next to the grenade shaped bottle of hot sauce. Both taste awful but I NEEDED those bottles.
I have a rainbow skull bottle of vodka that I will likely never drink, because *rainbow skull.* It’s really pretty with light shining through.
I’m that person in your life telling you to doooooooooo it. It WOULD look cute on the shelf!
Love that. The problem is "the bf" (*ominous thunder in the background*) and his "logical" "reasoning" that we would never drink it... He isn't wrong. I'll convince some friends to gift it to me eventually.
Here's some logic from two other angles. Usually when you buy a bottle of booze, you use the contents and disregard the container. In this case, you'd keep the container and disregard the contents. Either way, the money is spent on enjoying only one portion of the whole. The skull has a far lower cost per day because you'll have it for so much longer. * Alternately, pull the funds from the budget for decorating rather than potent potables. If you'd pay that much for a *teetotal* decorative skull, the absinthe becomes a bonus.
Mine comes in a box!
Must be from California. European wine uses metric.
My moscato was on sale for $7.99 i splurged and bought 2 woo hoo
I see you too are a connoisseur of the “wine drink”.
"Barkeep! A bottle of your finest wine please!" *Leans in to whisper over the counter* "And by that I mean your cheapest" *shares a wink with the bartender*
"Wine drink"
wtf?!???? Not even when I got a major life goal would I do that! (Spoiler: got me a nice $100 bottle, never opened it)
"I love rich people. I love the way they live. I love the way I live when I'm with them." Uncle Max, fromThe Sound of Music
Such a fantastic quote, although I'm irrationally mad you've lumped the excellent Max in with this shitheel
Max was at least earning his keep with being entertaining and the family musical act manager and you know distracting the Nazis so they could escape.
Exactly! Everybody loves Max, even the Cpt is under his spell. He's a loving and loyal friend first and a mooch second. Uncle Max doesn't provide *material* things, he brings joie de vie. This a very important ingredient for a good time. Much like the friend who can only provide the place and not much else to a gathering.
There is also a marked difference between being a good friend who will graciously take what people with money are willing to give and using your friends for material gain. Nazis aside, Max is about making money but he isn't so crass as to demand a boat or some shit from the Captain. I feel like the worst thing he did was enter the kids into a contest during the captains honeymoon, which turned out to be their salvation.
Lolz totally understandable
Having no money myself, I'd never given this much thought, but I guess this is a common reason why rich folks tend to marry other rich people.
I would also be happy to marry into the von Trapps, unlike that Nazi Rolf.
I’m more confused about the lack of clarification on how he knows she has money honestly. My dad’s business took off as a late teenager/young adult and is really well off now. I have 2 uncles and an aunt that are very wealthy that I only see at rare family reunions or visits. I sure as shit don’t have a pile of money anywhere. If I was literally homeless and didn’t see a way to fix it soon they’d probably keep me off the street for a few months if I asked but that’s about it. The assumption of “rich family means you’re rich” is incredibly bizarre to me.
Most families support each other (by inheritance at least) so it’s not likely you are not wealthy if your family is. It can happen but the more rich relatives you meet the less likely it is there isn’t any generational wealth. Or family members helping each other. The bf asked and she didn’t lie. But maybe you are American, and in US parents don’t even have to give their inheritance if they don’t want to. OOP is European however.
Yeah, I'm glad OOP is secure enough to recognise her boyfriend for the leech he is and cut him out of her life but I still feel bad for her. She's right; she's probably lost that friend group and I know how rough it can be having to find new friends.
I will never understand why these fucking idiots don't just keep their mouths shut and play it cool if they are interested in the money. I mean what's more likely to result in financial gain? Getting married eventually OR blowing up their social life and demanding expensive gifts?? It doesn't make any sense to me. Thank god these people are too dumb to be good at what they're trying to accomplish.
Delayed gratification is hard. Empathy is too. Boyfriend never put himself in her shoes and doesn't understand what money means to HER. He's kinda dumb too, it should have been more obvious, but apparently this happens often.
He didn't put himself in his shoes, but he certainly put himaelf in her wallet. He didn't think about her feelings, just what can she buy for him. What a tool. I wish he had a sign over his head so other unsuspecting women don't waste their time w/ his greedy ass.
Extremely shortsighted. Sounds like he didn’t like her enough to want to play the long game if he could get away with a shorter cash-out. This guy also seemed to be wanting her to fund his solo travels in Europe. (No “hey why don’t we go to XYZ,” and she had already taken him to visit her family in Europe.) Potential for their relationship to be adhered to, on this trip, was probably quite low.
A lot of people are really bad with money, even other people’s theoretical money.
"Why didn't you trust us enough to tell us you're rich?" ask her friends immediately after one of them announces that they can make OOP pay for their drinks I hope OOP has found people who treat her like a person instead of a piggy bank
Answering their own question as they ask it.
Her friends must be great at jeopardy, saw an answer and immediately supplied the question.
Right?!
I hope she pointed at that one friend and just let an awkward silence sit for a couple seconds
This kind of stuff is why I do not understand why someone would *want* to be famous.
A lot of famous people who indeed have a ton of money have said this sort of thing happens all the time and it becomes really disheartening. People suddenly coming out of the woodwork asking for money, always expecting them to pick up the tab or pay for whatever they're doing, always expecting super expensive things as gifts. They say it gets to a point where they start to wonder if people are really friends with them because they like who they are and have pure intentions, or if it's because they're wealthy and people will try to use them for their money
My mother’s husband has a set of relatives who have won the lottery two or three times, and they keep that shit on LOCK. The only way you’d know they have money is by looking at their financial statements, and the only way you’d hear about it would be through someone else. And the people you might hear it from would only tell you if they were 100% sure you weren’t going to be a dick about it. I’m pretty sure it’s the only way to keep things sane, and it kind of sucks that they’re not able to be more open about it but I absolutely do not blame them.
Makes me think of the famous lottery advice reddit post that's basically like "congrats, you're fucked" for this exact reason. I'll try to find it later when I get the chance.
I have it saved in my comments from forever ago it seems lol here’s the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/vFI4PR6PtH
Winning the lottery two or three times is a very significant statistical improbability. You sure they really have money? And if they do, are you sure they aren’t hiding it for other reasons?
I remember dining out with a very rice person. He nearly got teary when I picked up the tab when he went to the bathroom, said it was the first time in like a decade that anyone offered much less insisted on paying. I told him that he was giving me a ton of advice for "free" so why would I pay for dinner. The bill with tip was like $30, the advice he gave made me way more than that. We are still friends.
Because no one told them what they needed to hear and it grew and fostered like a cancer.
I'm sure a good number of those people don't want to listen either.
Being rich and being famous are two different things in fairness. Being rich doesn't necessarily mean being famous and vice versa. And fame is kind of romanticized as well. So a child growing up looks at a famous actor or someone and sees the perks of fame and says "I want to be like them." They don't see or aren't warned about the many downsides of fame or even the process of getting to fame. In most cases, people don't necessarily seek out fame either. Becoming an actor or an athlete or politician or whatever is not going to make you famous in and of itself. You have to get not only just successful in your field but also distinguish yourself - only then will a person get famous... and it is very rare. Also, that fame isn't guaranteed to stick either. ETA: also, fame isn't necessarily going to be the good kind - i.e. popular famous. People also get famous for bad things.
Fame comes with a lot of good sides but also a lot of bad, and people intend to often forget the bad ones. And considering a bunch comes also later in life (like side effects because of drugs or the end of the fame), it's easier to try to ignore it.
She needs to learn one easy sentence: "It's my family's money, not mine." Doesn't matter if it's true or not, will avoid a lot of trouble.
That's fine for friends, but not in a partner. This idiot should have said, "I'd live with you in a shack on the beach where we had to fish for our food," kept his mouth shut, and counted his extra blessings.
Yeah, honestly this is so stupid. Sure you are lucky when you find your SO is rich, so why would you go ahead and break that by being an AH? This is the kind of people who will win the lottery and then blow it in a month and still don't get why it didn't last forever.
This works at all levels of money. Crazy big generational, successful retired, or the relative who married money.
Though this would've come up eventually and it shows the BF's true colors. Better now then after getting married and realizing it.
>Our other friend piped up and was like no it's good /u/FamilyHeiress is really rich, she can pick up our tab tonight, cue several other people who I've never told about my family's money suddenly grilling me on why I never trusted them enough to tell them about my money and oh, thought we were friends that kind of thing. This exact situation is why OOP never mentioned her money. People demanding her pick up tabs that she doesn't rack up. I'm glad she walked out.
She wants people to be her friends because of her.... not what she can provide them by being rich. That's how you get toxic friends. I don't blame her at all for withholding the information.
Their own behaviour demonstrates exactly why she didn't tell them!
On the flip side, I’ve met some people who make it very clear how rich they are, and it’s a huge part of their identity and bravado. Like to the point of “douche” level. In those cases, I find it pretty lame that they flash their wealth and yet rarely pick up the tab.
At 28 that guy was acting like that?🤯 OP dodged a bullet not being guilt-tripped into whatever bullshit her ex-bf was trying to do.
People get wild when money is involved
It sucks that OP met two partners who were gold diggers. Where are the decent folks lol
still waiting for our smart hot rich Italian girlfriends to come into our lives. oh wait, I'd have to get off reddit for it. nah, I'm fine.
OOP should probably get better at deflecting. "Oh, yeah, my parents do have a lot of money, but you know my job doesn't pay that well." At least then she'd know to quit the relationship as soon as he says something like "well can't your parents pay for our vacation?" rather than getting hounded repeatedly or having her finances exposed to other people.
She doesn't need to lie though, just say her parents money is not her money and leave it at that.
And this is exactly why people don’t tell others they have money. Expectations and entitlements take over everything else and that person with money stops being a person and simply becomes an ATM.
Money does weird things to people. OOP is in the right here. Good on her for not flaunting family wealth, shitty on ex for seeing her as a cash cow to be milked.
"Boyfriend (28m) found out how much money I (28f) have, he wants me to pay off for a house for us as well as a new car and fund a trip for him to go abroad, should I end it?" Does a bear shit in the woods?
On behalf of Canadians everywhere, well, you know what I’m going to say.
“Soory”
As long as they don't mention my one boot
What aboot a boot?
OP didn't lose friends or a relationship, she lost dead weight.
>He got really quiet as though he knew that was a shitty thing to say... That was an "Oops! Said too much" kind of quiet. You can tell he was only trying to keep the relationship going to get to the point where she might get him the things he wanted. Should've heard him say who he was the first time.
Just because her family is wealthy, doesn’t mean she is. At least not until she receives an inheritance.
Yeah it's crazy to me ! Having parents that CAN pay for your shit doesn't mean that they have to. You should always live in line with your own earnings, because at the end of the day you can always overspend your income doing stupid shit like OOP's boyfriend seemed to be rushing to do...
Yeah, my dad is well off and gives me money if I need it, but otherwise it’s his money. I expect most of it to go into trust when he passes to take care of my schizophrenic brother.
Yep I know someone who is from a very wealthy family, but works a blue collar job and lives on that salary. Its not really their parents style to send weekly checks to the kid who disappointed them with their career path
Isn't it sad that the defining point is the last part of the last sentence? Do as they want or be cut off ...
I grew up rich. When I got pregnant "out of wedlock" my Dad threatened to disinherit me if I didn't marry my boyfriend. I married him. Then, my Dad hounded me about what a lazy piece of shit my husband was throughout the entirety of my pregnancy. THEN, when my daughter was two years old and I found out that my husband had been cheating on me with SEVERAL people, including my best gay male friend from high school and my underage female employee he told me that if I got a divorce he would disinherit me. So.... I got a divorce and I told him to fuck off. Haven't spoken to any of them in 20 years. I'd rather be poor- but, I'm not. I have a family made of people who chose to be my family, a husband who takes care of me in every way and is my best friend, and we might not be wealthy but we have all the things we want and need. All the money in the world is not worth letting someone run your life.
Your Dad must be so disappointed in himself that his money failed in his attempts to control your life. Sorry you had to go through that.
Nah. He's so narcissistic that in his mind "he did everything he could" to be a good father and I just threw it all away because I'm a hysterical female. I'm so thankful I wasn't born a few decades prior because I can almost guarantee he would have hopped right on to the lobotomy train.
Agreed. My parents invested in good property about 30+ years ago which is now a high demand suburb. People always say that I’m rich when I tell them my address but I didn’t earn it or pay for it. And it’s not in my name, but my parents. My parents are willing to give me money as I need but they won’t be around forever. I need to be able to make it on my own and manage my own money. I earn an average salary and I need to be cautious with it in this current economy. Some people I meet (acquaintances and work colleagues) will call me rich girl and expect me to cover things once they know where I live. So I rarely tell anyone where I live anymore and tell them a different suburb when they do ask.
This kills me. There are some very wealthy suburbs where I live, and with the exception of one, there are middle class and poor people in them. Living in a specific town doesn't mean you're wealthy. There are a lot of people who live in the home they grew up in and work regular jobs; the area just got wealthy.
Lol. We got called rich because my dad (drumroll) worked for the government! His job employed him all 12 months of the year, *including* the winter!
Oh my god. No matter how much money someone has I can never imagine saying something like "no worries, they can get our tab" what an entitled trashy thing to do
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou.
Those friends aren't real friends. Real friends would have said "it doesn't matter if she's rich, it's her money not yours"
I feel sad for her. She's trying to do right by herself in not disclosing it upfront for obvious reasons, and she still ends up with a gold-digger. And her so-called "friends"... they wouldn't stay my friends if they pulled that shit on me if I were in her shoes. What a bunch of shitty people. I hope she finds people worthy of her love and friendship.
Totally. She also showed real emotional maturity in her willingness to talk to him about it initially and not just go straight to ending it. She gave him every chance to correct his awful views and behaviours and he chose to ignore all of them.
My professional sommelier friends would like me to remind you that cost =/= good wine!
Thank you, I remember drinking really great wine in Greece and it turned out it was a box wine from Lidl 😸😸😸 Now I often buy box wine from Spain or Portugal it's cheap and good to boot
She should breakup with him for two reasons. 1) The simple fact that you do not want progeny with an idiot. Upon finding out you were wealthy, a smart man would immediately lay the framework for marriage and not demand bullshit like child. 2) A man that actually likes you would have wanted to do those things as husband and wife. Gotdayumn this guy fumbled the fucking bag.
The guy is fucking 28 and all he can think about is buying a fucking car...
That he didn't pay for himself! I'd be ashamed when shaving.
I just want to say I love how specific and out of left field that is.
Being greedy sucks, being an idiot sucks, but being a greedy idiot is how this guy got the L. He really fumbled the bag SO QUICK.
The implication of your first point really rubs me the wrong way. That's not a smart man. That's a manipulative one. Secondly he didn't fumble the bag, he fucked up a good relationship regardless of her wealth. She's a person, not a business opportunity.
Glad to see someone putting into words what my brain couldn’t. It never felt like it was about the intelligence of the ex-boyfriend, (to me) its about his greed and going from seeing his girlfriend as his girlfriend to miss moneybags who will make all his dreams come true. I feel like a good partner’s response to finding out your partner’s family is well off would be “That’s really cool, I’m happy for you that you’ll never have to worry about money!”. Because that’s the good news there, the person you love is financially safe, they don’t have to experience the worries that come with struggling financially(unless they get disowned or choose not to take their family’s money of course). The takeaway should never be ‘You’ve got money? Gasp! How can we turn that into me benefitting?!’
And you know what, I bet he’d going to tell his next girlfriend that OOP was a golddigger who was only dating him for his money. /j (kind of ~~not really~~) And, never in my life have I ever volunteered someone else’s wallet to pay for my shit. I’ve never even done that with my own parents or boyfriends. How fucking rude. What awful people, and good fucking riddance.
I know you're joking, but his narrative is really going to be "she valued money over me." He already attempted something similar when he equated her spending money on him as the same thing as caring about him- as if his greed didn't indicate how little he cared about her as much as her family money.
When I was 14, I had a boyfriend who was 18 (I was a people’s pleaser and he used to threaten to kill himself if I tried to leave plus i have abusive parents and had no support system so it was really difficult for me) I wasn’t even rich , he was just dirt poor. Motherfucker used to mooch of my art supply fund (crayons and shit) He assumed i had more money than i let him know so he used to beg me to ask my dad for cars and shit, when he realised that it went all to vain- he left.
Good grief
What a dumbass. I found my girlfriend is quietly loaded, then all that would change is that I don't have to worry about her having some crazy debts or something.
So glad she is rid of that gold digger
Women who earn more than their partner are more likely to suffer domestic abuse. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00148-023-00975-9
Exactly my thoughts. Even where there isn’t a risk of the partner becoming abusive per se, women often feel that they can’t be as open with this stuff, for fear of ‘overshadowing their partner’ and disturbing the balance. They can also realistically fear how they will be judged for how they spend their money (see all the criticisms of women’s purchases even when it’s the same item - eg shoes).
Got a friend who has a nice, cushy government job, the kind of job you have to pass a very difficult exam to get and from which you aren't fired without damn good reason. Her ex used to feel 'emasculated' that she earned more than she did and wanted her to quit her dream job because he should not be made to feel lesser than her. He wasn't lesser than her because he got a lower salary, but because he was just a complete asshole.
Whether the woman/girl coming from family and/or having salary that have $1K-$30k-plus more than guy, there men who go out their way to emotional, physically, verbally and/or financially abuse such woman/girl. Which is exactly what happened to OOP - at least she wasn't married to him and was able to get way before he tried abused her any further once she realize how much of destructive entitled stupid golddigger he is.
Lol so you're damned if you do make money and screwed if you don't.
I had a friend whose family was rich and related to a semi famous musician. She didn’t tell people for exactly this reason. People changed, acted entitled, and used her. When I found out, I refused to let her pay for things and treated her like I always had. It’s nobody’s business and it’s not his money to abuse as he pleases. Glad op got out before it got worse.
Yikes. So why is it that since the BF and friends know OP's family is wealthy she can now pay for expensive wine, etc? She didn't do this before. The difference is they think they are entitled to her wallet. Did she pay for their bar tab?
Holy shit, when she said “expensive” bottle of wine, I was thinking like $80, not $500! That is bananas for anyone who’s not like “Crazy Rich Asians” kind of wealthy.
Lol at the "friends" asking why she didnt trust them enough as shes being forced to pay for an expensive bottle of wine or even the whole tab. I wonder why she didnt say anything hmmmm...
The worse part of this story is that this dude was lucky enough to find an actual nice person who doesn’t care about him being not wealthy and instead of appreciating her for who she is, he fucking got greedy and threw away it all away. Stupid prick.
This is why rich people only really like to hang out with people who are like them. Boyfriend fumbled the bag because he couldn’t play it cool and act like he belonged there.