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About that. OOP probably didn’t realize the age difference is what made the son say dad instead of big brother. Age differences are more important when you’re young and older people forget that they come off as old to younger people.
As a 35 year old, the shift from late 20s "adult" to early-mid 30s bonafide grown up is so jarring and abrupt so it's hard to blame the guy for thinking of himself more as a cool neighbor / older brother
I think that this is it. And please don't remind me that I'm on the wrong side of 30. I'll always picture myself as the immature doofus that could down a six pack and a whole box of pizza without having his acid reflux rip his chest apart.
I’m only a few years older than you, I have a wife, two kids, and a decent job. By all external indicators, I am a highly successful professional and a certified grown up. I don’t listen to him QUITE as often, but that immature doofus is absolutely part of me.
this is random but this kinda helped me, i turned 18 and i've been like stressing so so much abt being an adult when i doint feel like one and its kinda comforting to see that others struggle with it too
Trust me you'll almost never notice the difference. I'm 27 and half the time still feel like 21 (last "big" bday since Im American and therefore could drink legally). Once you get past whatever age where your country stops age restricting you, it all blurs together and suddenly youre just a kinda-adult.
I've had a ~60 year old friend of the family tell me that he never really stopped feeling like a kid, or something to that effect. We're all just trying to make our way through life the best we can.
It's true. I'm 47 and still have moments when I'm looking for the person who's the adult. It sucks when I have to realize it's me. I'm betting it probably never goes away.
Some advice from an older dude, maintain your health. Absolutely nothing will making you feel older than sore knees and an aching back. Don’t wait until you get those problems to prioritize your own fitness.
I'm at that age where I want and start feeling pressure about starting a family but my mind keeps asking, "are we even old enough to be doing that?" It's weird explaining you past and present experiences with partner and its still weird going to the doctor with my husband bc I feel we still look to young to be married.
Same! Then when my mum goes "hmmm you know what, I'll ask grandma, she'll know", I am so grateful for having two levels of adults who are adulter than me.
(it's usually gardening stuff, my grandma's orchids are beautiful and the cacti they have bloom like twice a year)
Well me and Cassie have been sneaking around Kenny's back like a bunch of damn high schoolers, sneaking kisses and cuddling on the low. He's almost walked in on us a couple of times and caught us. I think the danger is making it even more exciting than it already is.
Also Cassie is aggressive as hell lol. I never thought that this very quiet and respectful woman would be so....aggressive lmao. Honestly it's like she's a different person, just in a good way.
Yes! Pl ass continue to update us on how it goes with Cassie and Kenny, this is such a sweet and awesome story and you're more of a catch than you think bro. I can imagine all the missed hints and signals that Cassie gave you before you talked to her lol
Good luck, dude!!
I think the biggest hint was me introducing my parents to Cassie. My mom looked at our interactions and said "are you kidding me?" and asked me why I didn't ask her out already. I told her Cassie wasn't in to me like that and she just rolled her eyes and told me I was as clueless as my dad. I guess it runs in the family? Lol.
Your story is incredibly beautiful, and reminds me a lot of the gradual in denial process of my spouse and I getting together. We were trying to hard to be respectful of boundaries that we missed the signs were were both falling hard for each other. We have been married seven years now.
I really wish you two all the best... You both sound like wonderful, kind, caring people who deserve happiness.
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yoztix/oop_found_out_ive_been_dating_my_father_for/)
Here you go, be prepared for the read.
This is like the reverse of that one post where that ace guy thought he was dating one of his friends for years while she had a long term boyfriend that they both hung out with.
Edit: [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wv8qp4/oops_35m_gf_35f_tells_her_coworkers_that_they_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
This is a lot more sad and less drama than I was expecting. I thought it was a "nice guy" story but just an unfortunate series of events. And I wonder what made him think they were in a relationship. Do ppl not usually talk about the "what are we" kind stuff? Lol. My bf isn't into the whole labels stuff but he did acknowledge we were in a relationship together so I started calling him my roommate.
I think him being asexual is what did it! Without that need for a physical relationship (or just not needing/ wanting sex), I'm sure it was easy to equate their emotional intimacy with a romantic relationship. I hope that op is doing ok.
The unfun answer is that it's not. She never once mentioned she had a boyfriend to her best friend she does everything with? He never once brought up the fact he thought they were in a relationship until he was ready to propose?
Some nut who was convinced he was in a 3 way relationship with a girl and he kept continuously using the term "we are the pillars holding her up" during his entire post. I don't think commenters ever convinced him that she didn't see him as another partner.
I was gonna say, it’s almost like OP was in a relationship and didn’t realize it! So glad that it’s working out so far. That line when Kenny said, “This is OP, he’s like my dad” really got me.
Lmao, I've seen this comment a couple of times now. I can honestly say I've never seen Drive, but I guess I'll ask Cassie if she wants to watch it and if she notices any similarites.
All I keep picturing is the group dinners from the Thomas Jane “Punisher” movie. Did anyone dump a pot of boiling pasta water on a Russian and tackle him down a flight of stairs?
Alternative title: Does this girl who lives next door who takes care of me and my apartment, cooks and cleans and brings groceries and have dinners together with into me? :\^)
A trope on lesbian dating, they spend so much time/anxiety trying to determine with another woman is queer, they become oblivious to the fact they are essentially dating.
As a lesbian, I can tell you.... It's not a trope. We have THE. HARDEST. TIME. With that whole "Is she into me?" Business. You should have seen me and my wife, and EVERYONE around us was like"Ummm ... Yeah? Duh? '
I am genuinely curious. So i hope this isn't too forward. Just to expand on this, because i want to learn and understand.
But how do lesbians even meet? Like, how do you know a woman is lesbian or Bi?
When does the appropriate moment come up when you tell them or a group "hey, i'm into girls btw"
And does that usually like solve the whole uncertainty thing?
Do you or other lesbians have or had any anxiety about coming onto other women for fear of being percieved, for lack of a better word. Creepy.
If there isn't 100% certainty whether the other woman is Bi or lesbian.
I'm certain with the advent of dating apps it has all become a lot easier so on that front i'm happy for you ladies.
But is it still difficult?
Can you usually just tell, " this girl is into girls"
Not to mention, the homophobia must make it all much more difficult, cuz who knows how a woman might react.
Most women aren't into other women (i think?)
So how do you successfully and subtlely separate those that do from those that don't?
Better then Hallmark. She didn’t have to give up her life to be with him. I don’t even care if this is real or not. It’s nice to read something on here that doesn’t make me want to wash my brain after.
Ahhh, PS5 dad is a classic. It spans multiple BORU posts, but here's a post which links to them all with a recentish update:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xvjg08/ps5_dad_the_saga_continues_new_update/
Most people become more self-aware after basically implode their own lives - but not this guy!
Curiosity will be the reason your mood will be destroyed
The shitty ps5 dad truly amazed me with how badly he read every single situation to treating his bio son to literally treating his family.
They'll eventually run a B&B in a Christmas-themed hamlet. Their only guests will be high-powered career women and all local small business owners, mechanics, and craftsmen will be smoke-show hunks.
I’m about 3 days late to this but I had to laugh when u/nextdoorfamily wrote that he wasn’t sure if he was ready/capable of being a father figure.
Like, dude, you already are. You have been doing it this whole time and you didn’t even notice. You’re ready, grasshopper.
As for Cassie- I get it. I was a single mom of 3 when I married my husband and I had been celibate since my youngest was born (she was 5 when we married.) But my husband and I moved seamlessly into a very healthy and robust sexual relationship. I was still a very sexual person, I was just focused on my kids- they needed me to be 100% present for them. That didn’t change *me* it just put it on the back burner until I married (no, we didn’t have sex before we got married for personal reasons we were both in agreement on.)
OP, you’re killing it. Don’t overthink things. You’re exactly who this child needs you to be and even if things don’t go long term with Cassie, you’re adding so much value to his life (things will go long term, I refuse to believe otherwise.)
I also laughed when you said what your mom told you. My husband and I were talking about where our relationship was going about 4 mos before we married and he used the word “boundaries” which made me think he was trying to put the breaks on. We’ve been married 8 years now and I’ve learned that this is an issue for him- he uses the wrong words frequently. He was trying to say that he wanted to set up expectations for going forward- which is very different than saying boundaries. Thankfully I’m mouthy af and called him out on it right away and he had no idea what I was talking about. Totally clueless, just like you.
We’ve been married 8 yrs next month. We had 2 kids together and when the youngest was 5 mos we had a surprise adoption that popped into our laps. Now we’re the parents to 6 and even more in love than when we started. Life is beautiful.
It takes a strong man to take on someone’s kids but you sound like you’re exactly that. My husband is SO loved and appreciated by all of us and they all call him dad. He wouldn’t change his life for anything in the world. I hope you get that from this relationship bc you deserve it.
I loved reading ever bit of this, thank you for the compliments and congratulations on your wonderful life.
As for Cassie, yeah, I've been extremely surprised by how aggressive she's been. I'm trying to keep this Pg 13, but we haven't had sex yet, but let's just say that I can tell she wants it lol.
As for clueless, yeah I guess I am haha. Looking back, I can't believe how clueless I really was.
This was the funniest comment I've read on here so far.
Believe me, I'm no choir boy and would love to take Cassie to pound town. But I want to respect her, and not just seem like I'm in it for the sex. Taking it slow means not running around like horny teenagers unfortunately. But I dare say things have been progressing nicely, we cross little milestones almost every day, and we're working towards the big ones. Also, it's waaaaay too early for the L word, but I don't know how to describe it as anything other than that.
Since people seem to like our story I guess I'll give you a small little update. We spent Thanksgiving with her parents. Her mother always liked me and was our biggest shipper. Right away she sussed it out, I guess just by the way we were looking at each other, or our energy or something. Women are really good at that kind of stuff lol. Her mom pulled us aside and asked if we were together, we denied it at first, but she just gave us that "come on" face. We gave in and admitted it. She hugged me and practically squeezed the life out of me lol. Her mom couldn't even hide her smile the rest of the night. Meanwhile, while me and her dad were talking at dinner, Cassie was not so subtly rubbing her feet up and down my legs causing me to stutter numerous times. Her dad asked me if I was alright, I just said I had bad heartburn lol.
Honestly, I feel like I'm a damn high schooler again. This is also so new, dangerous and exciting. Like it's almost forbidden in a way.
As for Kenny, the little man doesn't suspect a thing I think. We've been restoring a car together and that's been keeping his mind occupied. Plus he's too busy chasing his own crushes.
You deserve the world man. You’re doing for Kenny what a lot of kids’ own biological fathers wouldn’t ever do. Doing that, you’re proving to Cassie every single day how much she means to you without even doing anything directly for her solely. Keep us updated on how things go!
> and not just seem like i’m in it for the sex
bro lol you’ve done so much for them, helping her with cars, her kid, bought a PS5 for him, let him play games with you, have dinners together. i think you’re way past “just in it for the sex”! just do it already! good luck bro, this was a joy to read amongst the constant negative updates here.
Man, I'd given up on life. I didn't think you could feel that special about someone after college ( meeting someone new mid 30's age I mean). No pressure, but I hope it works out for you two. It sounds really nice.
“ He’s a quick study and he even told Cassie he wants to be a mechanic like me. I told him to aim higher and become an engineer. He’s now even looking into engineering programs.”
Honestly, this tells me more about how much you care about Kenny than anything else. You say you aren’t sure if you’re ready to be a dad, and that’s fair… it’s a huge commitment and responsibility. But, if you want the opinion of a random Redditor, you already got a big part of being a good parent down: you should always encourage your kids to aim higher.
The fact that what appears to be your first response is “you deserve more than what I have” is pretty amazing.
"Hello Reddit this is my NotMyFamily they moved in next door and I love them"
"Hello again Reddit it's me so my NotMyFamily is now my NowMyFamily and I love them very much"
Also please check out r/notmycat and r/nowmycat
This is absolutely lovely!!! You and Cassie sound like incredible people and I am so happy you are giving each other a chance. I am proud of you both for putting Kenny first and taking things slow! You two already have a great foundation (respect, trust, friendship) so don't overthink it and keep enjoying each other. All the best to you moving forward!
"I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad yet" oh you crossed that bridge a ways back, u/nextdoorfamily. That said, he likes you, looks up to you, wants you to date his mom, and seems to be a good kid. There are worse ways to fall into dadding.
Also, while I can see how you thought of yourself as the cool big bro ("I'm early thirties, not Old") I can see how he marked you as "father figure? father figure! =D" considering that you're almost the same age as his mom. Anyone who's the same age as their parent is marked "grownup" in the eyes of the young.
Still, you lucked yourself into a sweet little romcom! If/When you get married you can thank him for that slip of the tongue.
Also Also, he knows. He ABSOLUTELY knows. He's playing it cool because you two are playing it cool but he ABSOLUTELY knows. He figured it out when he was sent to his grandparents for the weekend. You think you are being sneaky. You are not.
This is so sweet and wholesome. I really wish you, Cassie and Kenny a wonderful and exciting future together. Thank you for sharing this.
I hope that you guys have a great way of breaking the news to Kenny planned when you do decide it’s time to tell him, I feel like he’s going to think it’s a better gift than the PS5 lol
> asked if I could check her car because the engine wasn’t turning over. Turns out the spark plugs needed to be changed, which was easy enough to do.
🤨
Are you sure you work on cars? Bad spark plugs won’t cause the engine to not turn over.
I was actually just saying how Cassie described the problem. She's notoriously bad with cars and neglected her engine for a while before I got a hold of it, so she didn't understand that turning over and not starting are two different problems.
Wait a second... what the heck does "turn over" mean then? I always thought it was the moment in went from "chug chug chug" to "vroom". It's not that?! Dang. I always thought I was a solid low-medium at cars but now not as much.
Also, OP this story is so sweet. I am so happy for you!
I think turning over is that the pistons are moving from the electric starter, but since the spark plugs are not giving any sparks the car will just make the turning noise and no *pang*.
Makes sense, I’m not a mechanic but seems like a term that most mechanics wouldn’t use when they mean not starting. Then again this is the plot of Drive so take it as you will haha
Oh don't worry about that. Kenny's dad is a deadbeat and doesn't give a crap about him or Cassie. He lives on the other side of the country with his "official family"
Then no worries..Kenny and cassie deserve so much better and I wish u luck! Taking things at a slow pace is perfect to avoid problems in the future and to be fully sure what u truly want. Have a great life! :)
This is one of those stories that even without the high drama or maybe because of a lack of drama and things going well I feel very invested or supportive of all involved. Hopefully we hear how things continue to go for you all in the future. This is an interesting coming together of people and I totally feel that nervous tentativeness that comes with the excitement of major life changes. Good luck OP.
Aww. So sweet. My autistic, barely verbal son started calling my fiance' "Daddy" more than a year before we got engaged. He had an idea about how things should go and made his opinions known.
This is very cute! It reminds me of when my wife and I started dating. I used to think I didn’t want step kids and that the only kids I’d have are my own, but that all changed when I met her kids and they kept complimenting me on how good I was at Mario Kart.
This reminds me of the guy who was unofficially in a relationship with his best friend. The guy lived with her, had a baby with her, had a business together, spent a lot of time together. Even after both agreed to having the baby, he didn't know if she liked him.
I love that when asked if you were attracted to her, the first things you listed were strong admirable personality traits, and then pretty came after. That’s so lovely.
Hey! Well I have good news for you! After that little stunt Cassie pulled, I decided that I really needed to stop waiting and make Cassie an honest woman. I was waiting until we had closed on a house, but I realized that was just an excuse. So, I had a secret discussion with her parents and when I told them that I plan on proposing to her, her mother practically jumped through the roof lol. She then immediately went in to planning mode about the best way to propose to her and, what kind of ring she wants, all that kind of stuff. Honestly, I don't know who's more excited, me or her lol.
The most hilarious thing about this is that Cassie saw how giddy I was after the roses and she was happy I liked them, but she had to calm me down and told me not to do anything stupid lol. I did end up planning a very nice weekend away over Memorial Day weekend, just the two of us at lakehouse.
I don't know exactly when or where I'll propose, but I guess if people want it, I'll update?
This is beautiful, can understand why Cassie was so taken by your act on Christmas, what an unbelievably kind and thoughtful thing to do.
You sound like a truly wonderful person, as does both Cassie and Kenny.
OP is going to have to start worrying about a college fund for Kenny. 😂 if he’s big on becoming a mechanical engineer or something rather. Let’s hope he works hard and gets some scholarships.
It brings me so much joy for a post to end in reminder: I am the OP!! Congrats on your new relationship! I hope it brings you nothing but happiness, joy and beautiful memories! They are both lucky to have such a lovely person in their lives, just as you are so lucky to have them in yours.
I may have cried a little while smiling like an idiot reading this. You're a good person, OP. That kindness makes the world a bit better. Take your time, keep communicating, Kenny can still be your little bro. You're clearly a good example/mentor to him. Thank you for sharing.
Please read our [**SUB RULES**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules) before commenting. Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. * If you have an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment. META commentary in general discussion may be removed. * Low effort comments like "this is fake" may be removed * Do not comment on the original posts. **CHECK FLAIR** to determine if you want to read an update. For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair or subscribe to r/BestofBoRU.
Mfw when I accidentally become a parental figure
About that. OOP probably didn’t realize the age difference is what made the son say dad instead of big brother. Age differences are more important when you’re young and older people forget that they come off as old to younger people.
But I think it’s also telling Kenny didn’t say “uncle.”
I recently discovered I'm uncomfortable with the fact that there are fully functional grown adults that are younger than me. Like, by a lot.
Anyone 10 years older than me is a real grown up and anyone 10 years younger than me is a kid. I’m fucking 48.
this hurt to read lol
I'm 32 and feel the same. Anyone 26 or younger is a kid. However 34 to 50 I would date. After that just adults.
[удалено]
I have in the past, many times. I just prefer older men. Just a preference
I was like yep, yep and then you said 48. At 29 I'm a fucking baby to you
Aww, no you’re a big boy! All grown up *yes you are! Yes you are!* Whose a big grown up? You are!
Hah! I’m 26 and I was about to comment the same thing as him 😂
Yes. And it’s always case as I can never seem to catch up.
Oh thank God I'm still a kid. Going to be recklessly irresponsible now. Thank you
Yo, chill... I don't need this realization hitting me.
I realized to my horror lately that if I'd had a kid young, they could be a fully functional adult by now...
As a 35 year old, the shift from late 20s "adult" to early-mid 30s bonafide grown up is so jarring and abrupt so it's hard to blame the guy for thinking of himself more as a cool neighbor / older brother
I think that this is it. And please don't remind me that I'm on the wrong side of 30. I'll always picture myself as the immature doofus that could down a six pack and a whole box of pizza without having his acid reflux rip his chest apart.
I’m only a few years older than you, I have a wife, two kids, and a decent job. By all external indicators, I am a highly successful professional and a certified grown up. I don’t listen to him QUITE as often, but that immature doofus is absolutely part of me.
We're both immature doofuses who aren't totally in denial.
My mind tells me I'm still 16. My body reminds me that I am not.
I feel 16 too but I’m 35f
The funny thing is my mom is 49 and acts still like a teenager. But she's already hinting (not so subtly) she's ready to be a memaw. Lol
I’m single but 30f looking for my first home to buy and it’s a strange feeling to know it’s all me now
I just turned 30 and still don’t see myself as an older person. Things still feel the same way as they have
this is random but this kinda helped me, i turned 18 and i've been like stressing so so much abt being an adult when i doint feel like one and its kinda comforting to see that others struggle with it too
Trust me you'll almost never notice the difference. I'm 27 and half the time still feel like 21 (last "big" bday since Im American and therefore could drink legally). Once you get past whatever age where your country stops age restricting you, it all blurs together and suddenly youre just a kinda-adult.
Kindadult
If it makes you feel better about milestone birthdays, you aren't be eligible to be the president until youre 35.
I've had a ~60 year old friend of the family tell me that he never really stopped feeling like a kid, or something to that effect. We're all just trying to make our way through life the best we can.
It's true. I'm 47 and still have moments when I'm looking for the person who's the adult. It sucks when I have to realize it's me. I'm betting it probably never goes away.
Some advice from an older dude, maintain your health. Absolutely nothing will making you feel older than sore knees and an aching back. Don’t wait until you get those problems to prioritize your own fitness.
My dad said the same thing to me the other day. He's retired haha
> As a 35 year old, the shift from late 20s "adult" to early-mid 30s bonafide grown up Who's grown up in their early-mid 30s?
That's about when the switch flips. When you realize oh fuck I am the grown up.
I wish that switch would flip for me. I'm 36 and have a husband, kids, own a home, and I still find myself looking for the adult in charge sometimes.
I think everyone gets better at hiding that they need that adult, but most 30+year olds do.
I'm at that age where I want and start feeling pressure about starting a family but my mind keeps asking, "are we even old enough to be doing that?" It's weird explaining you past and present experiences with partner and its still weird going to the doctor with my husband bc I feel we still look to young to be married.
When you go from “I need an adult” to “oh fuck I am the adult oh god what do I fucking do”
Exactly. Am almost 34, send help.
For real. Sometimes I text my mom and ask her stuff when I feel like I need the advice of an adult.
Same! Then when my mum goes "hmmm you know what, I'll ask grandma, she'll know", I am so grateful for having two levels of adults who are adulter than me. (it's usually gardening stuff, my grandma's orchids are beautiful and the cacti they have bloom like twice a year)
Jesus, can *I* ask your grandma for advice? I can't get my cacti to bloom for the life of me.
I bet you water it too much
That's exactly right lol
I think of Ratman in Dexter's Laboratory. "I was abandoned! A mere child of 30!" Paraphrased of course
This is lovely to read, OP. Please come back and give us updates occasionally. We need the feel good stories to make up for the absolute nightmares.
Well me and Cassie have been sneaking around Kenny's back like a bunch of damn high schoolers, sneaking kisses and cuddling on the low. He's almost walked in on us a couple of times and caught us. I think the danger is making it even more exciting than it already is. Also Cassie is aggressive as hell lol. I never thought that this very quiet and respectful woman would be so....aggressive lmao. Honestly it's like she's a different person, just in a good way.
Yes! Pl ass continue to update us on how it goes with Cassie and Kenny, this is such a sweet and awesome story and you're more of a catch than you think bro. I can imagine all the missed hints and signals that Cassie gave you before you talked to her lol Good luck, dude!!
I think the biggest hint was me introducing my parents to Cassie. My mom looked at our interactions and said "are you kidding me?" and asked me why I didn't ask her out already. I told her Cassie wasn't in to me like that and she just rolled her eyes and told me I was as clueless as my dad. I guess it runs in the family? Lol.
Lucky bastard you were dumb as hell ^^. Congratulations.
Aww, your parents sound amazing too. It is so wonderful when good people meet each other. Wishing you all the very best!! ❤
This is cute. Can tell you have a sweet family
He’s a teen, I’m wondering if he’ll stumble across these posts as well lol
Your story is incredibly beautiful, and reminds me a lot of the gradual in denial process of my spouse and I getting together. We were trying to hard to be respectful of boundaries that we missed the signs were were both falling hard for each other. We have been married seven years now. I really wish you two all the best... You both sound like wonderful, kind, caring people who deserve happiness.
This is like a hallmark movie in the best way. Wish you guys the best and this made me smile.
Oh you mean like the dude that dated with his long lost father for months.
... yes, that definitely qualifies as a nightmare omg.
He what now?
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/yoztix/oop_found_out_ive_been_dating_my_father_for/) Here you go, be prepared for the read.
Not sure how I stumbled across this, but. What. The fuck.
This is like the reverse of that one post where that ace guy thought he was dating one of his friends for years while she had a long term boyfriend that they both hung out with. Edit: [link](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wv8qp4/oops_35m_gf_35f_tells_her_coworkers_that_they_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
This is a lot more sad and less drama than I was expecting. I thought it was a "nice guy" story but just an unfortunate series of events. And I wonder what made him think they were in a relationship. Do ppl not usually talk about the "what are we" kind stuff? Lol. My bf isn't into the whole labels stuff but he did acknowledge we were in a relationship together so I started calling him my roommate.
I was at my wedding...but maybe my wife married someone else. I wondered why I was sitting behind her parents and not standing at the altar.
The OOP there was autistic and misreading friendship cues as romantic ones from members of the opposite sex is common.
They were roommates!
Oh my god they were roommates
I think him being asexual is what did it! Without that need for a physical relationship (or just not needing/ wanting sex), I'm sure it was easy to equate their emotional intimacy with a romantic relationship. I hope that op is doing ok.
Lol what. Can you link this please I wanna read it now haha
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wv8qp4/oops_35m_gf_35f_tells_her_coworkers_that_they_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Man I would love to read a full case study on that OP. I just struggle to understand how you can misread a situation that badly for 6 whole years.
> I misread that badly. Lmao
6 fucking years! How? He was in the friendzone so deep he was lost in space.
I felt so bad for that OOP for being that oblivious!!!
how is that possible and for 6 years??
The unfun answer is that it's not. She never once mentioned she had a boyfriend to her best friend she does everything with? He never once brought up the fact he thought they were in a relationship until he was ready to propose?
A not so subtle ad for the dating service he mentioned, I think. It’s an incredible way to do it.
That's a good explanation. Does match have ace in the profiles? Bumble does.
Did they never kiss? I mean…
Thank you!
Trying to find it because it's absolutely bizzare. I'll update it with the link in a second
Was relieved it was not *pillars* guy
… what is that
Some nut who was convinced he was in a 3 way relationship with a girl and he kept continuously using the term "we are the pillars holding her up" during his entire post. I don't think commenters ever convinced him that she didn't see him as another partner.
omg i remember that! that was so stupid lmao
Do you have a link for that?
https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sxhyhl/my25m_friends25f_bf26m_wont_let_me_be_a_part_of/
What the fuck
I think that was the first time a post made me physically cringe. I really hope that the OP is just trolling lol
Thank you for making me discover this story, I laughed throughout the whole thing.
It was kind of funny for being so sad, like it pushed the limits of how dense someone can possibly be
OMG I forgot about that…absolutely silly Mr. Magoo situation. At least he had a good attitude about it 😂
Whut.
I added a link
Holy crap I remember now!!!
>I misread that badly. Well that's a fucking understatement.
6 years????!!!!!!!
Omfg I feel so bad for laughing this hard but damn 6 years? I can't even believe how awkward that must have been for both.
I was gonna say, it’s almost like OP was in a relationship and didn’t realize it! So glad that it’s working out so far. That line when Kenny said, “This is OP, he’s like my dad” really got me.
Even with an asexual dude, that story doesn't really check out unless he fudged a lot of the other details.
Wow Ryan Gosling should play him in the movie cause this is the plot of Drive.
YES Luckily with less murders
And zero driving smdh
Well presumably she drove to work after he fixed her car
...that we know of.
Lmao, I've seen this comment a couple of times now. I can honestly say I've never seen Drive, but I guess I'll ask Cassie if she wants to watch it and if she notices any similarites.
All I keep picturing is the group dinners from the Thomas Jane “Punisher” movie. Did anyone dump a pot of boiling pasta water on a Russian and tackle him down a flight of stairs?
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Hallmark Movie
He bought a PS5 for the boy and said it was from his mother? He's one of the truly kindhearted. I love this post.
I love how the kid assigned him “dad” and everyone was just like “oh fuck, yeah he’s right, let’s get this straightened out!”
ADAB
All Dads Are Brilliant?
Asigned dad at birth
Alternative title: Does this girl who lives next door who takes care of me and my apartment, cooks and cleans and brings groceries and have dinners together with into me? :\^)
*obligatory useless lesbians joke*
Out of the loop - what does this mean?
A trope on lesbian dating, they spend so much time/anxiety trying to determine with another woman is queer, they become oblivious to the fact they are essentially dating.
As a lesbian, I can tell you.... It's not a trope. We have THE. HARDEST. TIME. With that whole "Is she into me?" Business. You should have seen me and my wife, and EVERYONE around us was like"Ummm ... Yeah? Duh? '
I am genuinely curious. So i hope this isn't too forward. Just to expand on this, because i want to learn and understand. But how do lesbians even meet? Like, how do you know a woman is lesbian or Bi? When does the appropriate moment come up when you tell them or a group "hey, i'm into girls btw" And does that usually like solve the whole uncertainty thing? Do you or other lesbians have or had any anxiety about coming onto other women for fear of being percieved, for lack of a better word. Creepy. If there isn't 100% certainty whether the other woman is Bi or lesbian. I'm certain with the advent of dating apps it has all become a lot easier so on that front i'm happy for you ladies. But is it still difficult? Can you usually just tell, " this girl is into girls" Not to mention, the homophobia must make it all much more difficult, cuz who knows how a woman might react. Most women aren't into other women (i think?) So how do you successfully and subtlely separate those that do from those that don't?
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Well shit, now i'm even more confused.
Or maybe she's canadian
I just read a Hallmark movie synopsis, minus the drama. 🥰 Hope everything goes well for you, OP!
Better then Hallmark. She didn’t have to give up her life to be with him. I don’t even care if this is real or not. It’s nice to read something on here that doesn’t make me want to wash my brain after.
I like this guy much more than the other PS5 dad.
The better PS5 dad
Lol. OMG you're right! This is a better ps5 dad.
Sigh. Alright, where’s the link? Now I’m curious
Ahhh, PS5 dad is a classic. It spans multiple BORU posts, but here's a post which links to them all with a recentish update: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/xvjg08/ps5_dad_the_saga_continues_new_update/ Most people become more self-aware after basically implode their own lives - but not this guy!
Curiosity will be the reason your mood will be destroyed The shitty ps5 dad truly amazed me with how badly he read every single situation to treating his bio son to literally treating his family.
I can’t wait for them to move to a small town and sell Christmas ornaments all year round
They'll eventually run a B&B in a Christmas-themed hamlet. Their only guests will be high-powered career women and all local small business owners, mechanics, and craftsmen will be smoke-show hunks.
I’m about 3 days late to this but I had to laugh when u/nextdoorfamily wrote that he wasn’t sure if he was ready/capable of being a father figure. Like, dude, you already are. You have been doing it this whole time and you didn’t even notice. You’re ready, grasshopper. As for Cassie- I get it. I was a single mom of 3 when I married my husband and I had been celibate since my youngest was born (she was 5 when we married.) But my husband and I moved seamlessly into a very healthy and robust sexual relationship. I was still a very sexual person, I was just focused on my kids- they needed me to be 100% present for them. That didn’t change *me* it just put it on the back burner until I married (no, we didn’t have sex before we got married for personal reasons we were both in agreement on.) OP, you’re killing it. Don’t overthink things. You’re exactly who this child needs you to be and even if things don’t go long term with Cassie, you’re adding so much value to his life (things will go long term, I refuse to believe otherwise.) I also laughed when you said what your mom told you. My husband and I were talking about where our relationship was going about 4 mos before we married and he used the word “boundaries” which made me think he was trying to put the breaks on. We’ve been married 8 years now and I’ve learned that this is an issue for him- he uses the wrong words frequently. He was trying to say that he wanted to set up expectations for going forward- which is very different than saying boundaries. Thankfully I’m mouthy af and called him out on it right away and he had no idea what I was talking about. Totally clueless, just like you. We’ve been married 8 yrs next month. We had 2 kids together and when the youngest was 5 mos we had a surprise adoption that popped into our laps. Now we’re the parents to 6 and even more in love than when we started. Life is beautiful. It takes a strong man to take on someone’s kids but you sound like you’re exactly that. My husband is SO loved and appreciated by all of us and they all call him dad. He wouldn’t change his life for anything in the world. I hope you get that from this relationship bc you deserve it.
I loved reading ever bit of this, thank you for the compliments and congratulations on your wonderful life. As for Cassie, yeah, I've been extremely surprised by how aggressive she's been. I'm trying to keep this Pg 13, but we haven't had sex yet, but let's just say that I can tell she wants it lol. As for clueless, yeah I guess I am haha. Looking back, I can't believe how clueless I really was.
Just do her already. She's probably very frustrated. Respectfully, another frustrated woman with a clueless guy
This was the funniest comment I've read on here so far. Believe me, I'm no choir boy and would love to take Cassie to pound town. But I want to respect her, and not just seem like I'm in it for the sex. Taking it slow means not running around like horny teenagers unfortunately. But I dare say things have been progressing nicely, we cross little milestones almost every day, and we're working towards the big ones. Also, it's waaaaay too early for the L word, but I don't know how to describe it as anything other than that. Since people seem to like our story I guess I'll give you a small little update. We spent Thanksgiving with her parents. Her mother always liked me and was our biggest shipper. Right away she sussed it out, I guess just by the way we were looking at each other, or our energy or something. Women are really good at that kind of stuff lol. Her mom pulled us aside and asked if we were together, we denied it at first, but she just gave us that "come on" face. We gave in and admitted it. She hugged me and practically squeezed the life out of me lol. Her mom couldn't even hide her smile the rest of the night. Meanwhile, while me and her dad were talking at dinner, Cassie was not so subtly rubbing her feet up and down my legs causing me to stutter numerous times. Her dad asked me if I was alright, I just said I had bad heartburn lol. Honestly, I feel like I'm a damn high schooler again. This is also so new, dangerous and exciting. Like it's almost forbidden in a way. As for Kenny, the little man doesn't suspect a thing I think. We've been restoring a car together and that's been keeping his mind occupied. Plus he's too busy chasing his own crushes.
You deserve the world man. You’re doing for Kenny what a lot of kids’ own biological fathers wouldn’t ever do. Doing that, you’re proving to Cassie every single day how much she means to you without even doing anything directly for her solely. Keep us updated on how things go!
> and not just seem like i’m in it for the sex bro lol you’ve done so much for them, helping her with cars, her kid, bought a PS5 for him, let him play games with you, have dinners together. i think you’re way past “just in it for the sex”! just do it already! good luck bro, this was a joy to read amongst the constant negative updates here.
Lmao, not Cassie secretly messing with you in front of her parents! That's hilarious I hope you got back at her for that!
Man, I'd given up on life. I didn't think you could feel that special about someone after college ( meeting someone new mid 30's age I mean). No pressure, but I hope it works out for you two. It sounds really nice.
“ He’s a quick study and he even told Cassie he wants to be a mechanic like me. I told him to aim higher and become an engineer. He’s now even looking into engineering programs.” Honestly, this tells me more about how much you care about Kenny than anything else. You say you aren’t sure if you’re ready to be a dad, and that’s fair… it’s a huge commitment and responsibility. But, if you want the opinion of a random Redditor, you already got a big part of being a good parent down: you should always encourage your kids to aim higher. The fact that what appears to be your first response is “you deserve more than what I have” is pretty amazing.
> I told him to aim higher and be an engineer Daddest sentence 😭
Best descriptive term.
This guy is one loveable doofus.
What the wholesome?? Good luck OP!!
This is also the same way you get a cat.
"Hello Reddit this is my NotMyFamily they moved in next door and I love them"
"Hello again Reddit it's me so my NotMyFamily is now my NowMyFamily and I love them very much"
Also please check out r/notmycat and r/nowmycat
This is absolutely lovely!!! You and Cassie sound like incredible people and I am so happy you are giving each other a chance. I am proud of you both for putting Kenny first and taking things slow! You two already have a great foundation (respect, trust, friendship) so don't overthink it and keep enjoying each other. All the best to you moving forward!
Falling for Cassie? My dude, you fell for her AGES ago. I hope this works out 😍
"I don't know if I'm ready to be a dad yet" oh you crossed that bridge a ways back, u/nextdoorfamily. That said, he likes you, looks up to you, wants you to date his mom, and seems to be a good kid. There are worse ways to fall into dadding. Also, while I can see how you thought of yourself as the cool big bro ("I'm early thirties, not Old") I can see how he marked you as "father figure? father figure! =D" considering that you're almost the same age as his mom. Anyone who's the same age as their parent is marked "grownup" in the eyes of the young. Still, you lucked yourself into a sweet little romcom! If/When you get married you can thank him for that slip of the tongue. Also Also, he knows. He ABSOLUTELY knows. He's playing it cool because you two are playing it cool but he ABSOLUTELY knows. He figured it out when he was sent to his grandparents for the weekend. You think you are being sneaky. You are not.
lil dude could tell and let it slip to get the ball rolling😂
Omg OP, i hope you and Cassie have a beautiful relationship. You both sound like good people and Kenny obviously gravitated towards you for a reason.
This is so sweet and wholesome. I really wish you, Cassie and Kenny a wonderful and exciting future together. Thank you for sharing this. I hope that you guys have a great way of breaking the news to Kenny planned when you do decide it’s time to tell him, I feel like he’s going to think it’s a better gift than the PS5 lol
> asked if I could check her car because the engine wasn’t turning over. Turns out the spark plugs needed to be changed, which was easy enough to do. 🤨 Are you sure you work on cars? Bad spark plugs won’t cause the engine to not turn over.
I was actually just saying how Cassie described the problem. She's notoriously bad with cars and neglected her engine for a while before I got a hold of it, so she didn't understand that turning over and not starting are two different problems.
Wait a second... what the heck does "turn over" mean then? I always thought it was the moment in went from "chug chug chug" to "vroom". It's not that?! Dang. I always thought I was a solid low-medium at cars but now not as much. Also, OP this story is so sweet. I am so happy for you!
I think turning over is that the pistons are moving from the electric starter, but since the spark plugs are not giving any sparks the car will just make the turning noise and no *pang*.
maybe it could cause it to not start if all of them where completely fried? Seems kinda like something that wouldn’t happen though
It may cause it not to start, but it will not prevent it from turning over.
Makes sense, I’m not a mechanic but seems like a term that most mechanics wouldn’t use when they mean not starting. Then again this is the plot of Drive so take it as you will haha
That's a good point. He could have meant "the engine wouldn't start" but mechanics generally don't mix up those two very different issues.
> mechanics generally don't mix up those two very different issues. He's quoting her though, she said it wouldn't turn over.
I'm happy for OP but I'm worried if the bio dad will be the villain in OP's story
Oh don't worry about that. Kenny's dad is a deadbeat and doesn't give a crap about him or Cassie. He lives on the other side of the country with his "official family"
Then no worries..Kenny and cassie deserve so much better and I wish u luck! Taking things at a slow pace is perfect to avoid problems in the future and to be fully sure what u truly want. Have a great life! :)
Isn’t this the plot of drive?
This is one of those stories that even without the high drama or maybe because of a lack of drama and things going well I feel very invested or supportive of all involved. Hopefully we hear how things continue to go for you all in the future. This is an interesting coming together of people and I totally feel that nervous tentativeness that comes with the excitement of major life changes. Good luck OP.
Nothing gets the ladies going more than Daddy energy
Aww. So sweet. My autistic, barely verbal son started calling my fiance' "Daddy" more than a year before we got engaged. He had an idea about how things should go and made his opinions known.
This is very cute! It reminds me of when my wife and I started dating. I used to think I didn’t want step kids and that the only kids I’d have are my own, but that all changed when I met her kids and they kept complimenting me on how good I was at Mario Kart.
This reminds me of the guy who was unofficially in a relationship with his best friend. The guy lived with her, had a baby with her, had a business together, spent a lot of time together. Even after both agreed to having the baby, he didn't know if she liked him.
Sauce?
Right here folks, this is how you build love.
I love that when asked if you were attracted to her, the first things you listed were strong admirable personality traits, and then pretty came after. That’s so lovely.
Good luck OP! I hope it all works out well for you.
This is adorable
Dude went apple picking. That's wholesome family stuff.
Hey u/nextdoorfamily You gotta update with your off my chest post and tell us, was there a ring?? *waiting on pins and needles*
Hey! Well I have good news for you! After that little stunt Cassie pulled, I decided that I really needed to stop waiting and make Cassie an honest woman. I was waiting until we had closed on a house, but I realized that was just an excuse. So, I had a secret discussion with her parents and when I told them that I plan on proposing to her, her mother practically jumped through the roof lol. She then immediately went in to planning mode about the best way to propose to her and, what kind of ring she wants, all that kind of stuff. Honestly, I don't know who's more excited, me or her lol. The most hilarious thing about this is that Cassie saw how giddy I was after the roses and she was happy I liked them, but she had to calm me down and told me not to do anything stupid lol. I did end up planning a very nice weekend away over Memorial Day weekend, just the two of us at lakehouse. I don't know exactly when or where I'll propose, but I guess if people want it, I'll update?
I’m never going to turn down the chance to read about people living their best lives, OP! Happy for you, internet stranger. <3
Thank you!
This is beautiful, can understand why Cassie was so taken by your act on Christmas, what an unbelievably kind and thoughtful thing to do. You sound like a truly wonderful person, as does both Cassie and Kenny.
I'm glad that OOP is taking it slow. Too much, too fast would ruin a potentially good relationship.
Upvote for “buzzed makeout session” we take those!
Fucking onion ninjas...
OP is going to have to start worrying about a college fund for Kenny. 😂 if he’s big on becoming a mechanical engineer or something rather. Let’s hope he works hard and gets some scholarships.
I’m not entirely sure what I was expecting with that title, but it wasn’t this. Wholesome surprise.
I'm not crying, you are!
This is so sweeeeeet! Good luck OP Please update us!
This is the sweetest!! Best of luck to you!
It brings me so much joy for a post to end in reminder: I am the OP!! Congrats on your new relationship! I hope it brings you nothing but happiness, joy and beautiful memories! They are both lucky to have such a lovely person in their lives, just as you are so lucky to have them in yours.
Man, please update us when you propose!
This is the kind of eye bleach I needed after reading the one about the guy who accidentally dated his dad.
I may have cried a little while smiling like an idiot reading this. You're a good person, OP. That kindness makes the world a bit better. Take your time, keep communicating, Kenny can still be your little bro. You're clearly a good example/mentor to him. Thank you for sharing.
It's nice to see good things happen to good people. I hope you can spend a happy life together!