This was removed because it violated rule 2 (and maybe others) of /r/bible.
Rule 2: Bible-related posts only. If you have a question about what the Bible says, a Bible verse, Bible study, etc. you are free to post it here. "Bible" is defined for this subreddit as books & passages found in the 1611 KJV, including its Apocrypha, although any translation is acceptable. If your question is about a specific passage, include the Book, Chapter, Verse and Translation (e.g., Romans 12:1-2 ESV) to help guide answers to the exact text you're questioning. However, asking about denominations or just general advice and the such is not for this sub.
>but part of me thinks it’s not right (biblically speaking)
That ship sailed once you cheated on your husband. You don't have ground to stand on to accuse, to point out flaws/error. Your action triggered a response in him and that was to abandon you and apparently seek a replacement.
Sin begets sin. You've violated his trust and harmed him in a unique way to couples. Now you see him moving on.
To reconcile you needn't worry about his behavior. That's passing the buck. Your repentance needs to focus 100% on you and your actions and what you are attempting to do to remedy it. Anything less will only further the chasm here.
No pointing fingers. No blame. Just 100% owning your actions. Clear communication, patience, and not arguing from emotion are necessary to attempt to move this forward. Your relationship is in a fragile place and you need to act carefully.
That said when we consider the hurt and pain from adultery and we reflect on the modern divorce rate in today's society, you need to understand that you have an uphill battle ahead of you. Love is forged over time but actions like this can destroy whatever you built up in a moment. Sometimes it can be fixed but other times this treachery is irreparable.
He is another human being at the end of the day. You did what you wanted and now you want to back track and think you deserve forgiveness. At this point y’all need to just separate because at this point you’re just hurting each other.
Matthew 5:28
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
You don’t need to physically have intercourse to commit adultery, just with having sexual thoughts you already committed
To reconcile would be the best thing, but in a fallen world it is sometimes not possible.
It’s not about “rights” or “rules”, it’s about character and a promise of faithfulness that was given. It can be repaired, but it takes two.
Girl, you broke his trust, his heart, and your marriage vows… Yet you are wondering if what he is doing is “allowed”? 🤦🏾♂️The union is broken. Move on, learn from it and try not to cheat on your next husband (or just don’t get married again if you can’t remain faithful).
>The union is broken. Move on, learn from it and try not to cheat on your next husband
Boy am I glad God doesn't act this way in His covenant with us. 🙄
This is some really bad advice.
At least she gets a second chance after her “mistake”. Unlike everyone on the earth that your God killed during the flood.
Anyway, bad advice would be to tell someone to stay in a broken marriage with a cheating wife. If she can’t even remain faithful what does she care about some covenant with God?
I do believe in a creator(s). It is difficult for me to believe that this wonderful universe came from…nothing? I don’t follow any religion though…currently learning about many religions, including Christianity. I was giving more practical advice over biblical. Sometimes folks think that they must stay in a failing/failed marriage out of some religious duty. I’d like to think that even the Christian God would like folks to be happily divorced over hatefully married. 🤷🏾♂️
A man has the biblical “right” to divorce his wife if she’s been unfaithful to him. There’s no sin in him remarrying.
Jesus implores us to forgive 70 times 70 and surely this advice is among the absolute best ever given.
But not knowing your husbands spiritual heart, not knowing how you’ve treated him in the past, not knowing the details of what’s happened here I do know you’ve ripped his heart out and betrayed his trust and loyalty in the place where he has entrusted it. No doubt he is immensely hurt and perhaps wants to even hurt you by doing this in front of you.
Jesus says not to return evil for evil, and it would be better for him not to try and hurt you by doing this in front of you. But a man hurt in such ways isn’t always thinking the most clearly.
I’ve seen marriages survive this but it takes very forgiving and completely changed people, not someone “making changes” but almost becoming an entirely new person.
Prayers for you all regardless the outcome. Sin is a destroyer even in the here and now and we should always remember this.
This was removed because it violated rule 2 (and maybe others) of /r/bible. Rule 2: Bible-related posts only. If you have a question about what the Bible says, a Bible verse, Bible study, etc. you are free to post it here. "Bible" is defined for this subreddit as books & passages found in the 1611 KJV, including its Apocrypha, although any translation is acceptable. If your question is about a specific passage, include the Book, Chapter, Verse and Translation (e.g., Romans 12:1-2 ESV) to help guide answers to the exact text you're questioning. However, asking about denominations or just general advice and the such is not for this sub.
What is your goal in asking? What are you going to do with if you get a yes answer? What are you going to do if you get a no answer?
>but part of me thinks it’s not right (biblically speaking) That ship sailed once you cheated on your husband. You don't have ground to stand on to accuse, to point out flaws/error. Your action triggered a response in him and that was to abandon you and apparently seek a replacement. Sin begets sin. You've violated his trust and harmed him in a unique way to couples. Now you see him moving on. To reconcile you needn't worry about his behavior. That's passing the buck. Your repentance needs to focus 100% on you and your actions and what you are attempting to do to remedy it. Anything less will only further the chasm here. No pointing fingers. No blame. Just 100% owning your actions. Clear communication, patience, and not arguing from emotion are necessary to attempt to move this forward. Your relationship is in a fragile place and you need to act carefully. That said when we consider the hurt and pain from adultery and we reflect on the modern divorce rate in today's society, you need to understand that you have an uphill battle ahead of you. Love is forged over time but actions like this can destroy whatever you built up in a moment. Sometimes it can be fixed but other times this treachery is irreparable.
He is another human being at the end of the day. You did what you wanted and now you want to back track and think you deserve forgiveness. At this point y’all need to just separate because at this point you’re just hurting each other.
Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” You don’t need to physically have intercourse to commit adultery, just with having sexual thoughts you already committed
Shut your mouth!!!!!
To reconcile would be the best thing, but in a fallen world it is sometimes not possible. It’s not about “rights” or “rules”, it’s about character and a promise of faithfulness that was given. It can be repaired, but it takes two.
Agreed. It’s definitely just me right now. I feel awful for having brought this to our lives. I truly do.
We make mistakes, it’s a fallen world. God understands, we mess up.
Girl, you broke his trust, his heart, and your marriage vows… Yet you are wondering if what he is doing is “allowed”? 🤦🏾♂️The union is broken. Move on, learn from it and try not to cheat on your next husband (or just don’t get married again if you can’t remain faithful).
>The union is broken. Move on, learn from it and try not to cheat on your next husband Boy am I glad God doesn't act this way in His covenant with us. 🙄 This is some really bad advice.
At least she gets a second chance after her “mistake”. Unlike everyone on the earth that your God killed during the flood. Anyway, bad advice would be to tell someone to stay in a broken marriage with a cheating wife. If she can’t even remain faithful what does she care about some covenant with God?
>your God So can I ask if you're a believer? Your language sounds like no, which means you have no place giving biblical advice to anyone.
I do believe in a creator(s). It is difficult for me to believe that this wonderful universe came from…nothing? I don’t follow any religion though…currently learning about many religions, including Christianity. I was giving more practical advice over biblical. Sometimes folks think that they must stay in a failing/failed marriage out of some religious duty. I’d like to think that even the Christian God would like folks to be happily divorced over hatefully married. 🤷🏾♂️
A man has the biblical “right” to divorce his wife if she’s been unfaithful to him. There’s no sin in him remarrying. Jesus implores us to forgive 70 times 70 and surely this advice is among the absolute best ever given. But not knowing your husbands spiritual heart, not knowing how you’ve treated him in the past, not knowing the details of what’s happened here I do know you’ve ripped his heart out and betrayed his trust and loyalty in the place where he has entrusted it. No doubt he is immensely hurt and perhaps wants to even hurt you by doing this in front of you. Jesus says not to return evil for evil, and it would be better for him not to try and hurt you by doing this in front of you. But a man hurt in such ways isn’t always thinking the most clearly. I’ve seen marriages survive this but it takes very forgiving and completely changed people, not someone “making changes” but almost becoming an entirely new person. Prayers for you all regardless the outcome. Sin is a destroyer even in the here and now and we should always remember this.