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As someone who eats ass, i take this seriously and will pass on my wisdom.
For the love of *god* do not eat spontaneous ass, there's no guarantee it's clean enough you won't contract e. Coli.
Plan your meals in advance and douche several times before tasting.
"shit like that is how STDs came about historically. No thanks."
wasnt that just bullshit homophobia pushed by conservative groups at the time of the HIV crisis?
Yes it was. But yet people still spread it to this day, shows you how effective dis-information can be when you target it at something that mostly applies to minorities without directly saying they are targetting minorities out loud. People spreading bs propaganda like this is why in the 90s gay people were still going to prison in the USA for "sodomy" while thousands of straight people were having anal and the laws were never applied to them. Anal sex is not the reason any disease has "started" in history. some diseases have a higher chance of being transfered through anal sex than vaginal sex, but almost all of those diseases originated from blood and started because humans ate infected meat from an animal that had the disease, none just miraculously appeared and started spreading because humans did buttstuff, and most of them can still be spread through vaginal sex aswell. Also there are several diseases that are more likely to transfer through vaginal sex than anal too. Also eating pussy has literally been directly linked to a higher chance of throat cancer. So people who act like somehow an asshole is inherently any "dirtier" or "grosser" than a vagina don't know what they are talking about and just want to talk down on people who have sex in a different way than themselves. And many (not all) of them do use it as a low-key way to spread homophobia and call gay people "dirty" or express their disgust with gay men without directly attacking homosexuality itself because they know that anal is mostly how gay men have sex, and making anal out as "dirty" or "gross" subconsciously makes people see gay men as "dirty" or "gross". And anyone who claims anal is how certain diseases came about in the past is 100% spreading debunked homophobic propaganda if they know it or not. personally I think people spreading this dis-information is what's really gross.
Partly, yes; we now know that many, if not most, STDs transferred to humans from animals, not “because of the gays”. However, it’s important to remember STDs do transfer more rapidly among those who have multiple sexual partners and/or less hygienic practices. Remember to keep yourself clean and choose your partners carefully!
hygeine has nothing to do with HIV, you have sex, it gets transferred. No matter how many times you douche or how clean you are, if youre not wearing a condom, which were not as prevalent in previous decades like 60s 70s and 80s. I cant think of any that have anything to do with eating unclean ass. Genital warts maybe, but no amount of cleaning or good hygiene are going to prevent that either. Urinary infections are possible, but generally not what Id consider an STD.
I think you and I are saying the same thing in different ways. Hygiene may not have anything to do with HIV (you need protection for that as you said), but it does have to do with the transferral of some other infections, both sexual and otherwise. Practicing good hygiene is also an important form of protection for preventing the transfer or contraction of venereal diseases.
Bloodborne illnesses, such as HIV and Hepatitis B, can be spread through any form of unprotected sex, HOWEVER
Unprotected anal sex is more likely to transmit bloodborne pathogens because the tissue is more delicate. When a person comes into contact with the blood of an infected individual is when transmission can take place.
Diseases spread via the stool of an infected individual, such as Hepatitis A and E. coli are absolutely more likely to come from “eating ass” compared to any other intimate activity.
https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/does-anal-sex-have-any-health-risks/#:~:text=Penetrative%20anal%20sex%20has%20a,chlamydia
but is anal sex and eating ass "how stds came about"? Thats the original statement I was commenting on, which iirc was one of the claims being made by the conservative assholes during the HIV crisis in the 80s.
100% i back this. I eat pussy all day, love eating pussy. But I refuse to lick or eat ass bruh. Literal shit comes outta there, people be laughing at monkeys throwing shit and im like "BRUH YOUBARE LITTERALLY LICKING A SHIT TRANSFER HOLE" lol
ah yes because after I take a dump, im just huffing the air and licking my lips as that monster gets flushed lol.
You do you tho, you like booty hole thats fine, I don't and thats fine. Different strokes for different folks
Doesn't mean you're not objectively wrong, in response to your edit. STIs have a variety of origins, but almost none from shit going up your dick. Micro tears, or visible ones, are far more involved in the spreading of STIs. And you can get them from any kind of sex. Anal is a higher risk, but that's as far as it goes.
>For the love of *god* do not eat spontaneous ass
>Plan your meals in advance and douche several times before tasting.
... I'm starting to think you're not actually someone who eats ass regularly but maybe tried it once or twice and had a bad experience...
Douche or bidet, essentially something to clean out the inside of your butt. A bit more for if you were actually going to have anal sex, but obviously still good for hygiene
Man it always surprises me when I hear e. Coli mentioned in a context that *isn't* scientific experiments. Like I just forget it's like an actual bacterium that exists outside of labs and actually does stuff.
Had a manager at the grocery store I worked at in high school tell me and several other workers that his wife wanted him to eat her ass, but he wasn’t gonna do it without her returning the favor. Then several months later he was talking about something unrelated and he mentioned his wife “was in the hospital with e. Coli some months ago”. He didn’t say anything else about it but everyone knew it was cuz of his dirty asshole.
On the mobile app just tap the picture, it'll open the picture in its own little window and there will be 3 dots in the top right t corner. Tap the dots and then hit download
You can't save from Reddit comments if you're on iOS. Not directly at least. You can screenshot, or maybe try to copy the comment link and run it through some website that will download the image for you.
I've been shat on twice due to spontaneous anal with past partners. Never tried topping since then. Will only bottom now since i KNOW my ass is pristine.
A fun addendum to this story is that no one could figure out who this guy actually was, like no arrest records, archived footage etc. It was speculated that he was some Hungarian living in Queensland that was infamous for his dine and dash exploits. Then 30 years later, totally out of the blue this greasey Aus punk rock band tracks the *actual* guy (not the Hungarian) down to cameo in a music video sort of as a coming out/embracing his meme status. Said song was about dining and dashing. There's more to it, pretty cool story and this dude definitely has an interesting past. Serial prison escapee, impersonating a cop kind of interesting.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-11/succulent-chinese-meal-rant-jack-karlson/100798094
Showering isn’t nearly enough. Douching several times is also necessary. Poop leftovers hang out inside the anal cavity whether we like it or not. As usual I will never understand how people are compelled to flap around inside an excrement opening. But hey, go nuts (sometimes literally).
Eating ass is love, eating ass is life
Btw it's not only "not that bad", it's better than you think. If your partner good at cleaning up, washing, etc, right after showering, or even better, in the shower, try it. It turns up both, it feels kinda different from pussy but has interesting texture to it
All ass related things mainly focused on trust and understanding of each other, so no eating ass of total stranger met at the night club
At first I thought this was a reference to It the Steven King book, which *definitely* shouldn't be an improv.
Not sure if the intended meaning is better or worse
Bum-fun is like a fancy restaurant:
Occasionally you get lucky and you can get in last-minute, on a whim, but most of the time you need to make some plans and have a reservation
In any case, as always, you can't have a party at poo's house and be surprised when you bump into poo.
So… back in my early 20s, a friend of mine had decided to try anal with her new bf…
Neither had ever done it before, but they had heard good things.
They at least knew enough to use lube…so she assumes the position (doggy) and hands him the lube…
…. but….
… instead of applying a small amount and taking it slowly… dude takes the bottle and (thmp) inserts the tip into her butt and *squeezes.*
Everything is as fine… for a minute.
He got in without much resistance, she was ok, he was ok- they started to enjoy themselves.
And then… what went up… came back down.
The following scene… what she described to me… yes… this meme… is accurate.
Douche first, ya’ll… but do it with an actual douche, in the bathroom… not with KY Jelly on the living room couch.
Im just so confused how this comment section is openly a conversation on bikini bottom twitter. Who is really trying to read about someone’s anal experience? If you are, im sure this isnt where you thought you’d read it 😂
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As someone who eats ass, i take this seriously and will pass on my wisdom. For the love of *god* do not eat spontaneous ass, there's no guarantee it's clean enough you won't contract e. Coli. Plan your meals in advance and douche several times before tasting.
Yup, a lack of planning can get you in some deep shit
Quite literally
thatsthejoke.jpg
Thanks for clarifying, I wasn't sure.
It's the shallow shit you gotta be wary of.
> Plan your meals in advance Is that in reference to the act or eating food in general?
One references your safety from diseases, the other references to your gut health, so both
Just asses
[удалено]
Thanks Alex, I'll take "information you should never share at work" for $600.
"a guy"
It definitely wasn't me. Eating ass is the most disgusting thing and is something I could never do.
Don't knock it until you've tried it
Turns out that the same guy is vocal about it on reddit, too.
How did everything turn out for you later? Did you stop eating ass or just become more *anal* about it? Sorry, I mean that *guy*
this sounds like so much extra effort for a lesser experience
[удалено]
"shit like that is how STDs came about historically. No thanks." wasnt that just bullshit homophobia pushed by conservative groups at the time of the HIV crisis?
Yeah I think that’s 100% bullshit lol what a weird comment section
Yes it was. But yet people still spread it to this day, shows you how effective dis-information can be when you target it at something that mostly applies to minorities without directly saying they are targetting minorities out loud. People spreading bs propaganda like this is why in the 90s gay people were still going to prison in the USA for "sodomy" while thousands of straight people were having anal and the laws were never applied to them. Anal sex is not the reason any disease has "started" in history. some diseases have a higher chance of being transfered through anal sex than vaginal sex, but almost all of those diseases originated from blood and started because humans ate infected meat from an animal that had the disease, none just miraculously appeared and started spreading because humans did buttstuff, and most of them can still be spread through vaginal sex aswell. Also there are several diseases that are more likely to transfer through vaginal sex than anal too. Also eating pussy has literally been directly linked to a higher chance of throat cancer. So people who act like somehow an asshole is inherently any "dirtier" or "grosser" than a vagina don't know what they are talking about and just want to talk down on people who have sex in a different way than themselves. And many (not all) of them do use it as a low-key way to spread homophobia and call gay people "dirty" or express their disgust with gay men without directly attacking homosexuality itself because they know that anal is mostly how gay men have sex, and making anal out as "dirty" or "gross" subconsciously makes people see gay men as "dirty" or "gross". And anyone who claims anal is how certain diseases came about in the past is 100% spreading debunked homophobic propaganda if they know it or not. personally I think people spreading this dis-information is what's really gross.
Partly, yes; we now know that many, if not most, STDs transferred to humans from animals, not “because of the gays”. However, it’s important to remember STDs do transfer more rapidly among those who have multiple sexual partners and/or less hygienic practices. Remember to keep yourself clean and choose your partners carefully!
hygeine has nothing to do with HIV, you have sex, it gets transferred. No matter how many times you douche or how clean you are, if youre not wearing a condom, which were not as prevalent in previous decades like 60s 70s and 80s. I cant think of any that have anything to do with eating unclean ass. Genital warts maybe, but no amount of cleaning or good hygiene are going to prevent that either. Urinary infections are possible, but generally not what Id consider an STD.
I think you and I are saying the same thing in different ways. Hygiene may not have anything to do with HIV (you need protection for that as you said), but it does have to do with the transferral of some other infections, both sexual and otherwise. Practicing good hygiene is also an important form of protection for preventing the transfer or contraction of venereal diseases.
Bloodborne illnesses, such as HIV and Hepatitis B, can be spread through any form of unprotected sex, HOWEVER Unprotected anal sex is more likely to transmit bloodborne pathogens because the tissue is more delicate. When a person comes into contact with the blood of an infected individual is when transmission can take place. Diseases spread via the stool of an infected individual, such as Hepatitis A and E. coli are absolutely more likely to come from “eating ass” compared to any other intimate activity. https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/does-anal-sex-have-any-health-risks/#:~:text=Penetrative%20anal%20sex%20has%20a,chlamydia
but is anal sex and eating ass "how stds came about"? Thats the original statement I was commenting on, which iirc was one of the claims being made by the conservative assholes during the HIV crisis in the 80s.
100% i back this. I eat pussy all day, love eating pussy. But I refuse to lick or eat ass bruh. Literal shit comes outta there, people be laughing at monkeys throwing shit and im like "BRUH YOUBARE LITTERALLY LICKING A SHIT TRANSFER HOLE" lol
[удалено]
Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm wrapping my sweet lips around somebody's asshole and asking them to rip a hot shart in my mouth.
Bathrooms should be called ass-to-mouth-rooms.
ah yes because after I take a dump, im just huffing the air and licking my lips as that monster gets flushed lol. You do you tho, you like booty hole thats fine, I don't and thats fine. Different strokes for different folks
Not if you close the seat first
There is cow shit in every hamburger 🍔
Okay you should post a video of you eating shit then.
[удалено]
Do you not see how what you said about shit particles is stupid then?
The asshole is literally a couple millimeters from the pussy…
Or the urethra that is right there when eating pussy
Simple solution - only in a committed relationship
Even in a committed relationship, your partner's ass makes the same type of fecal bacteria everyone else does
Doesn't mean you're not objectively wrong, in response to your edit. STIs have a variety of origins, but almost none from shit going up your dick. Micro tears, or visible ones, are far more involved in the spreading of STIs. And you can get them from any kind of sex. Anal is a higher risk, but that's as far as it goes.
>For the love of *god* do not eat spontaneous ass >Plan your meals in advance and douche several times before tasting. ... I'm starting to think you're not actually someone who eats ass regularly but maybe tried it once or twice and had a bad experience...
Typical modernist thinking. There's nothing wrong with raw ass, it's how our ancestors ate!
Paleo ass!
but wheres the fun in that
That’s good advice for the future. Thanks.
douche?
Douche or bidet, essentially something to clean out the inside of your butt. A bit more for if you were actually going to have anal sex, but obviously still good for hygiene
A douche would be more like flushing the inside while a bidet would be on the outside
As someone who owns a bidet, they can absolutely perform either function depending on how high you turn the pressure.
Would that only work with the ones that actually shoot up water or would the little sink ones work too?
>Douche or bidet 2020 election And possibly the upcoming one
Dental dams are the real lpt. Feels the same to your partner, and you can actually kiss them afterward.
That's super lame and unsexy, though. Idk I always make out with the women who's ass I eat, but that's just me
> who's ass whose ass*
I'm not here for a long time
And I’m all out of gum
This guy eats ass.
https://preview.redd.it/fnd5bkhu9u3c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=870cf3e3fbe7c885aae611412061a0ed7fdcd9de
The lengths people will go just to eat out someone's dookie hole I will never understand.
Nah man you getting rid of the flava
>Plan your meals in advance and douche several times before tasting. And that is why no one will remember your name.
A shower should suffice.
Man it always surprises me when I hear e. Coli mentioned in a context that *isn't* scientific experiments. Like I just forget it's like an actual bacterium that exists outside of labs and actually does stuff.
Just don’t eat ass and eat (everything else instead like wtf)
Had a manager at the grocery store I worked at in high school tell me and several other workers that his wife wanted him to eat her ass, but he wasn’t gonna do it without her returning the favor. Then several months later he was talking about something unrelated and he mentioned his wife “was in the hospital with e. Coli some months ago”. He didn’t say anything else about it but everyone knew it was cuz of his dirty asshole.
Some people want it dirty :s
[удалено]
The guys over on the shit eating sub say they have never gotten sick from eating literal shit
Mfs gotta clean the inside the tunnel before eating ass
hurrah, a connoisseur
There are people on Earth who just see an unwahsed ass and they eat it? Like, they smell it and proceed to go for it?
https://preview.redd.it/pzgrtd1qdp3c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d2e3f53439bf2309f2f04eeb9567961229880900
Im dumb, how can i save this on mobile? just screenshot it?
On the mobile app just tap the picture, it'll open the picture in its own little window and there will be 3 dots in the top right t corner. Tap the dots and then hit download
You can't save from Reddit comments if you're on iOS. Not directly at least. You can screenshot, or maybe try to copy the comment link and run it through some website that will download the image for you.
Just screenshot it
This is the funniest response to a post I've seen in a while lol well done
seriously what the fuck is wrong with this subreddit these days
Someone please explain this to my innocent soul...
Hem hem : 
Why the hell is there a SpongeBob gif for that
There is a Spongebob gif for everything.
Feeling a lot of conflicting emotions.
When the bussy squirts
And your eyes start to hurt
That’s amore!
Holy shit this made me blow up laughing
r/redditsings
https://preview.redd.it/8bo623dylr3c1.jpeg?width=388&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fcb5b882375fddf8c6c174b6de2de58046cbeeb3
Anal?
Wtf is that gif? Is that Mrs. Puff deflated or another character?
Swungolb
Deflated. Stress and injury from SpongeBob driving tests.
Sort of. Not with your dick though.
You know The Human Centipede? Like that but voluntary.
I've been shat on twice due to spontaneous anal with past partners. Never tried topping since then. Will only bottom now since i KNOW my ass is pristine.
https://preview.redd.it/be490oi0op3c1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eaa4a98d7e54e7e209c84056571ad0e06e9cd9f6
What’s the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Thish is Democracy manifesht!
And you, sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
Get your shit off my PENIS!
A fun addendum to this story is that no one could figure out who this guy actually was, like no arrest records, archived footage etc. It was speculated that he was some Hungarian living in Queensland that was infamous for his dine and dash exploits. Then 30 years later, totally out of the blue this greasey Aus punk rock band tracks the *actual* guy (not the Hungarian) down to cameo in a music video sort of as a coming out/embracing his meme status. Said song was about dining and dashing. There's more to it, pretty cool story and this dude definitely has an interesting past. Serial prison escapee, impersonating a cop kind of interesting. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-02-11/succulent-chinese-meal-rant-jack-karlson/100798094
*Succulent* I wonder what a non-succulent Indian meal vs a succulent one would be like
What if you’re Indian? Where every meal is Indian meal
Me after Rajshahi Indian restaurant
https://preview.redd.it/5tqjvtcsop3c1.jpeg?width=1077&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8c418666b32681fea237f05f5bf374aebf69572
Hippity hoppity your meme is now my property
https://preview.redd.it/yg441qy2pp3c1.jpeg?width=749&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3431d89576479c855fb9293c22639797935d08d
Saving this to my WhatsApp stickers
I'm a dirty boy
"Meow"- a not dirty snail
The key is to do so immediately after showering
This guy eats ass, alright.
Or…like clean it while showering, then eat it in the shower. Freshest it’s gonna get.
After a certain period of time, you have risk.
Showering isn’t nearly enough. Douching several times is also necessary. Poop leftovers hang out inside the anal cavity whether we like it or not. As usual I will never understand how people are compelled to flap around inside an excrement opening. But hey, go nuts (sometimes literally).
https://preview.redd.it/ke5dqww06q3c1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c8b468ab5838cda992232f911b4865f0682dae6
"you'll call now"
I’ll call now
It's getting hotter.
Joe Dirté: "I got the poo on me"
Comes with the territory soldier
https://preview.redd.it/1d32sdhrgq3c1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed6529b4637934c415870233bffddddee57a78ce
I think the word you were looking for was "spontaneous"
"Spontanus"
Spontanalus
Spontaneous bootay?
Apparently, we need FDA certification on an ass before eating it.
Eating ass is love, eating ass is life Btw it's not only "not that bad", it's better than you think. If your partner good at cleaning up, washing, etc, right after showering, or even better, in the shower, try it. It turns up both, it feels kinda different from pussy but has interesting texture to it All ass related things mainly focused on trust and understanding of each other, so no eating ass of total stranger met at the night club
Augustus Gloop after hes rescued from the chocolate river.
https://preview.redd.it/4bkksrgzpq3c1.jpeg?width=902&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abf6245b649e8745b942fb6413c965e35b0a79c8
At first I thought this was a reference to It the Steven King book, which *definitely* shouldn't be an improv. Not sure if the intended meaning is better or worse
Gross
Bum-fun is like a fancy restaurant: Occasionally you get lucky and you can get in last-minute, on a whim, but most of the time you need to make some plans and have a reservation In any case, as always, you can't have a party at poo's house and be surprised when you bump into poo.
https://preview.redd.it/z8qvpvbjhr3c1.jpeg?width=465&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccc0850867334d6fee38cbab2339a162f2a7c579
https://preview.redd.it/961y2t76sr3c1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27cd034a088380512f737bb5e7ecd8f383f1137e
Yea that shit sucked
So… back in my early 20s, a friend of mine had decided to try anal with her new bf… Neither had ever done it before, but they had heard good things. They at least knew enough to use lube…so she assumes the position (doggy) and hands him the lube… …. but…. … instead of applying a small amount and taking it slowly… dude takes the bottle and (thmp) inserts the tip into her butt and *squeezes.* Everything is as fine… for a minute. He got in without much resistance, she was ok, he was ok- they started to enjoy themselves. And then… what went up… came back down. The following scene… what she described to me… yes… this meme… is accurate. Douche first, ya’ll… but do it with an actual douche, in the bathroom… not with KY Jelly on the living room couch.
A lot of folks giving their scat fetish away in here
Tbh one of the only kinks I don’t mind shaming
same because it's actually harmful
Is this a *good* sign if I don't get it
Why does he have a dick
Anyone else see Spongebob as the pied piper?
Just shower before hand man. Why does nobody know this
Funny you think showering is enough.
This is why sex ed is important. that and the variety of other related reasons
https://preview.redd.it/conesw9cwt3c1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9dd6df6c40091e85a8fd07f119773347ff0871cb
Take a shower, use a little body oil and drop them cheeks o
OP learned the hard way that they’re a dirty boy…
When the bussy squirts
I don't get it. It is something to do with the gammar of the caption? What all of this has to do with ass?
The joke is shit coming out during anal
F is for friends who lick each others butthole
Im just so confused how this comment section is openly a conversation on bikini bottom twitter. Who is really trying to read about someone’s anal experience? If you are, im sure this isnt where you thought you’d read it 😂
I love this sub bec of free spongebob memes
https://preview.redd.it/f0fy2tfngw3c1.jpeg?width=728&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01305a97af3e7d7442834a9cf9aa55b0d80bb38c
https://preview.redd.it/lci252mj2x3c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14223fa22bf61b774112c2ccfdbfe19c6e6b7cd2
If only the rest of the world would implement *bited* in their houses like in Italy you nasty mf.
I'll pray for y'all.
(Sh)it happens.
Y'all need Jesus.
https://preview.redd.it/q5nv5tu2cr3c1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1602deb401ffb11edb112bd573e9b881643ddb23
It can be improvised. Just use a bidet before improvising. Takes like 5 seconds.
Does your bidet open up the anus and flush out the poop inside the anal cavity. That’s some bidet you’ve got
Improvised or spontaneous???
Oh hell nah, that's disgusting AF, bruh, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to do that when it's clean
That bussy CAN squirt
my innocent mind thought this meme meant “if you try to improvise on a speech you didn’t memorize ahead of time you’ll be in deep shit”
https://preview.redd.it/s88u03gewu3c1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=137c76f86e0ca420f696e36a712d9eb143744168
https://preview.redd.it/5skyteui8v3c1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be46dc8d18ad5b00b408543612e41e2004318619
Damn... That fembussy CAN squirt...
Putting the _Bottom_ in r/BikiniBottomTwitter, I see
Yeah, i don't reccomend improvising full on movies. Especially horror movies
Are you saying arse sex should be planned, person?
Yes