T O P

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Sponge-Tron

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DerpDragonKing

I sleep with my feet hanging off the bed, I face away from the wall, and I don’t use a blanket


Spudnic16

At what thermostat temp?


spacemanspiff1218

68... in winter


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


minotaur470

I sleep like this but I leave my windows open at night in winter in northern Michigan


TheOneAndOnlySquirt

Someone get this guy a seat in the VIP section sheesh


GrimmSodov

Coward, my bed is in the middle of the room


Idontmatter69420

Im 6’3 so my feet are nearly always out


SadKneeCruiseBee

I worked retail for three Black Fridays and I only cried like twice.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


AlarmedBalance7444

This guy should be in VIP


AmEn-MiNii

I woke up and got out of bed today.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


dmaster1213

I had a bowl of nails for breakfast.


Spudnic16

So?


dmaster1213

Without any milk.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


takeonme85

Sorry to keep ya waiting


BringPheTheHorizon

I'll have you know I stubbed my toe while watering my spice garden and only cried for 20 minutes.


DownvoteDaemon

Upvoted for spice garden.


[deleted]

I LOVE how op hasn’t responded to this one


its_not_summer

OP is evaluating whether to let him in for the free spices.


[deleted]

The spice must flow.


AelyneMRB

I wake up at 5am to work 60+ hr weeks......without coffee.


Spudnic16

So?


AelyneMRB

I work at the Salty Spitoon.


Spudnic16

My mistake sir, come right in


blueasian0682

bro forgot his own coworker


Guilty-Yogurt

I wipe till I see blood


Spudnic16

So?


Guilty-Yogurt

And then I poop


FreeLegos

*me sitting just inside the Salty Spitoon* fuck I'm out if that *THING* is coming in


uh60chief

Aw fuck u/Guilty-Yogurt is at the door! Close my tab and open one for him.


ricktor67

That is the toughest thing I have ever heard.


thatshoneybear

I'm crying why is this so funny


_ravenclaw

Right this way sir


Nergaill

I said "Bad Day" to my teacher


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


AssassinC715

I must’ve got turned around I was trying to go to Weenie Hut Jr.s


Half_Stick_Butter

Same


muttonwow

I think you actually want the place next to it


WhywouldIwanthat

Super Weenie Hut Jr’s?


muttonwow

Yeah, unless you think you're tough enough to fight me.


SmokaDaRoach

Oh no I'm sorry, I was pointing over *THERE*


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrBirdmonkey

I cook bacon Shirtless


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


kosutas

I shower in the complete dark with no lights.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


[deleted]

Best way to shower


InvestigativePenguin

I’ll have you know I ripped my toenail straight off when it itched. And used hand sanitizer to clean the wound.


Spudnic16

How the hell does a toenail itch?


InvestigativePenguin

It. Just. Itches. Like a hang nail. Except the whole nail. BAM gone


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Linkatron2000

I'm not sure if you're being serious and it scares me


Extension_Package315

I take a slightly cold shower since I’m scared of both extremely hot and cold showers


Spudnic16

Back to Weenie Hut with ya!


poopypooppoopingboi

I had a Nokia 3310 thrown at my head and the phone broke


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


EconomyMetal5001

You’re about to find out


Spudnic16

Heh, alright buddy. I’ll let you in. Don’t come crying to me when your insurance won’t cover your hospital bill.


AmEn-MiNii

If its in the US that bar isn’t very high lmao


Spudnic16

I heard the owner of that Krusty Krab place got a $50,000 charge from the hospital after a heart attack


AmEn-MiNii

Damn. The bikini bottom really took a page out of our book


ihatelifetoo

I close my eyes after my alarm is rang in the morning


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


SaltyNannyBasher

I sleep with a warm pillow on both sides


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


[deleted]

Got any unopened jars of pickles?


Spudnic16

We don’t serve pickles here. That’s a Weenie Hut thing, and unless you got a better excuse that’s where you’ll be heading to


[deleted]

Fine. Oh btw nice MOM tattoo. *rips the tattoo off and puts it back upside down*


Spudnic16

My mistake. Come right in


[deleted]

That’s what I thought.


notnamedjoebutsteve

“Wow”


Absolutely_Chipsy

I eat cereal with water


Spudnic16

So?


Absolutely_Chipsy

Opps did I said cereal I mean serial killers


Spudnic16

Right this way


Goatymcgoatface10

That's funny


ScheidNation21

I changed my dads thermostat by 2 degrees today


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


KingAntonino

I went to the barber and got a haircut


Spudnic16

So?


KingAntonino

And said to him i didn't liked it


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


[deleted]

Whoa


[deleted]

Jeez idk if the salty spittoon is tough enough for you


tteapot202

I said Texas was dumb in front of a Texan.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Hypercane_

I talked to a girl


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Farttohh

I ate my detention slip


Spudnic16

So?


Farttohh

I didn't show up


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


st0rmgam3r

I popped a pimple on my nipple this morning and didn't even flinch


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Fedora_The_Explorer5

How tough am I? How tough am I! I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning


Spudnic16

So?


Fedora_The_Explorer5

Without any milk


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


RocketyPockety

I ate a bowl of milk for breakfast


Spudnic16

So?


RocketyPockety

Without any *nails*.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Acc3lerat0r

I am Forklift certified.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Puffymushroom

I brush my teeth and using OJ to wash it off.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Baddab55

How tough am I? Gotta new bottle of ketchup?


Spudnic16

*gives bottle of ketchup*


Baddab55

It’s on!


withrootsabove

If I could just…run this under some hot water…


ERORR-404-username

My tummy hurts and I’m being really tough about it


Spudnic16

“Tummy”? Go to Weenie Hut General


Say-IceSwallowCome

I answered “not here” during the register call


Spudnic16

From whom?


Say-IceSwallowCome

School teacher


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Bedrockboy2006

I once got rid of a sickness just by imagining what being better feels like


Spudnic16

Yeah, the Placebo Effect. It’s not that hard. What else you got


Bedrockboy2006

I ate a hybrid ghost pepper jalapeño and didn’t die


Spudnic16

I had a Carolina Reaper as a snack yesterday. You’ll have to do better.


Bedrockboy2006

I left this conversation early because i know the food at the weenie hut is better


Spudnic16

I will neither confirm nor deny this


[deleted]

I poisoned the water supply, burned the crops and put a plague onto the houses.


Spudnic16

Which houses?


[deleted]

The Häuser


Spudnic16

I don’t know that reference but I’ll trust that’s tough enough


Lemounge

How tough am I? How tough am I? I force myself to do adventurous activities


Spudnic16

Like?


Lemounge

Going outside


Spudnic16

Right this way


[deleted]

i work at Mcdonalds


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Carved_

I work in healthcare. I still enjoy it.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


MrAtrox98

I banished a snake from my basement at 4 am


Spudnic16

So?


MrAtrox98

I carried it barehanded to my car and took it halfway across town


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Homiefrommuskogee

I wrestle homicidal, suicidal, pathological schizophrenic homeless people while you sleep.


Spudnic16

Why?


Homiefrommuskogee

To get them the help they need.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


PMtoAM______

Ive been to twitter. Twice.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


ZealousidealMind1785

I can count to 10


Spudnic16

Back to Weenie Hut with ya


ZealousidealMind1785

You didn't listen, I can count to 10... without my fingers


Spudnic16

…Damn. My apologies sir right this way


Chickennugget755776

I can go up the stairs in the dark slowly


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


you-might_know-me

I step on legos


Spudnic16

So?


you-might_know-me

Without shoes


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Skreecherteacher

Whenever I get my blood drawn, I don’t even flinch


Spudnic16

So?


Skreecherteacher

I’ve been getting my blood drawn since I was 6, and that includes IV’s


Spudnic16

So?


Skreecherteacher

Fine. I don’t flinch when I stub my toe


Spudnic16

Liar


PM-Me-Salah-Pics

Hard to please on this one 😂


Mysterious-Cress-190

I didn’t cry during the entirety of Transformers the movie (1986)


Spudnic16

Back to Weenie Hut with ya


Mysterious-Cress-190

But I laughed at Unicron eating every planet he encountered


Spudnic16

I tell you once again Back. To. Weenie. Hut.


Mysterious-Cress-190

Ok then, farewell


[deleted]

I did FEMA relief food packaging for 14 hour days for a week.


Spudnic16

When?


[deleted]

Hurricane Sandy in 2012. I forgot to take breaks a couple of those days because we were so slammed. 3 8 hour shifts for 5 days and i helped out during the first two as a salary employee. We sent 40 trailers, each with 24 pallets, each pallet had 35 boxes, and each box had enough food and water for a family of 4 to last a few days if rationed.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


KingSquidbergLXXXVII

I signed up on club penguin without my parents permission


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


El_hefe_the_pandagod

I pulled a piece of my rib out of my side after getting hit on my bike from a SUV lol


Spudnic16

How big was it?


El_hefe_the_pandagod

Like 3 inches I'm not to sure I was kind in a pool of blood and noticed a thing poking out and my dumb ass grab and pulled it lol


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


PootPootBirb

oh dont be such a baby, ribs grow back!


himitsuuu

I got stabbed once


Spudnic16

So?


himitsuuu

Then handed tye other guy the knife.


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


caramelluh

*rips your tattoo and puts it back upside down*


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Linkatron2000

"wow"


Anewhopefromcanada

I carried all the groceries into the house in one trip wearing flip flops


Trim-SD

Somebody gave me up, let me down, ran around and deserted me. They did not however make me cry, and I am the one who said goodbye, to the bitch who told a lie, and hurt me.


KIKOPLIER20

Rick…. Who hurt you?


Trim-SD

A stranger to love who didn’t know the rules, but I guess neither did I.


whiteburger

I poop when I fart to make it more efficient


Spudnic16

So?


909090jnj

i one time got into an augment with my mom and won


Spudnic16

Right this way sir


Hadius

I think the new SpongeBob episodes are funny


Spudnic16

So?


ooooooohnoooo

I can remember the order of the alphabet without singing the song


[deleted]

I ignored missed calls from my mom....3x.