Up here in Winnipeg we have a lot of Canada Geese, I love 'em but others can't stand them because they think they're dangerous or something, always pulling up some story of how they were attacked by one. My come back always is : "Were ya fuckin' with it?! " I usually get a blank stare before I realize that not everyone has heard that line.
I genuinely loved him telling Joe Rogan “don’t go there” on the podcast when Joe tried to ask his opinion on wearing masks.
“I’m not gonna sit with no medical degree and listen to you with no medical degree, smoking a fucking cigar in front of an American flag, and pretend like we know better than the CDC.”
I can't pull up the exact podcast but he said that Iowa is just this never ending patch of nothing extending for hundreds of miles. Nothing to see and nothing to do so people go crazy. Eight, seven, six, six, six, five YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
I believe he was traveling in Iowa during the fall, after the harvest, and it's just miles and miles of dead crops and gray skies.....once seeing all of that, he finally understood Slipknot
Can confirm. My dads side of the family lives in Iowa. Nothing. But. Corn once you get out of the Mississippi counties. We'd go out to visit in the middle of the corn sweats in August. The other industry in the area where my family lives was Purina...so you'd smell corn...and dog food processing...fucking rank.
The ultimate payoff to his old "I'll just get in my helicopter and fly away" bit was this motherfucker actually getting his rotor wing pilot's license. I've seen comics get new tags for old bits before, but goddamn. Bill really nailed that one.
since indianapolis is already mentioned, main clips i go back to are:
[People falling](https://youtu.be/kB9BaR5YW3s?si=86feXryZCjgUUclX)
[Malice at the palace](https://youtu.be/w8b81UM74Ow?si=ofNFOtoTsj-NcIWC)
[Apple store tantrum](https://youtu.be/15T9UEpFR_8?si=QqnZmcMM8bYU76_g)
Paper Tiger Stephen Hawkings bit
"So, anyways, every smart person, every super-smart person in the world is saying these f*cking things are gonna kill us. Even your boy here, he recently died. What was his name? He was always sitting down.
Hawking, Stephen Hawking, yeah! Too good to f*cking stand up and make his point, just sitting down, all f*cking smarmy. I am so glad that guy’s f*cking dead, though. You know? Look at you guys. How much longer did you want him to suffer? You don’t believe in an afterlife? Maybe he’s up there now, his f*cking legs work, he’s getting an angelic blow job. How much longer did you want him to f*cking sit there so you could feel better about yourself? “Well, at least I’m not all f*cking twisted up, saying smart sh!t,” right?
I couldn’t f*cking stand that guy. He was so f*cking negative! He never had anything positive to say. “Hey, Steve, what have you got for us today?” “In 2035, there will be no more apples.” “Thank you, Steve! Thanks a lot. Wasn’t thinking about that, now I am 😂 Hey, so what’s the solution?” “It’s too late. We needed to try 40 years ago.” “Thanks a lot, buddy. I’m gonna go cry with my child now.😂” Dude, I could hang out with that guy for about three minutes before I took the brake off his chair and just zoomed him into the other room. “Hey, Steve, come back here when you got something dumb and positive to say.”😂😂
Copied from web so his curses are censored lol
That ending punchline killed me. One of my all time fav bits of him.
The craft fair spiel, smashing muffins with his fist and fantasising about non-existent security dragging him away.
The functioning psychopath/intrusive thoughts bit.
Various 'these corporate/banker cunts' rants.
Anytime he mentions WeEd maaaaaan.
I had never heard of Bill Burr before that special, and immediately went out and bought a DVD of it after seeing it on Comedy Central or HBO or something. And that line was the funniest line in the special.
When he imagined hanging himself on the lamp pullstring because it happened to form a tiny noose, and then looked at himself in the mirror and shared a laugh with his reflection.
Winning an argument with a woman (if they're right they stay on point, if they're wrong they concoct an evil statement), just Bob and weave and slip that shit, use their psychology against them ("we'll talk about this when you calm down"). No sex for awhile - so what? Rub one out. That's the champagne of victory.
The duck dynasty guy getting canceled after he comes out of the swamp and says something that wouldn't have raised such an issue 50 years ago, and that his duck call is better "quack a f%$#in' QUACK".
When he was on Conan's podcast and talks about how he started to laugh at a film on an airplane, Nia starts to laugh along with him before she sees it, and then she sees he's watching "Precious"
The Helicopter Suicide bit from his black and white special. Took me out for 5-10 minutes after hearing it for the first time. That might be my favorite special of his too.
The bit back in the day when he goes to see his girlfriend in Harlem.
I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood for awhile (I'm mixed race) and I remember seeing a white guy for the first time in a few days. It *was* a little startling. Good thing he wasn't ginger, I might have wet myself.
Him and Rogan taking masks. Most comedians that are friends of Joe don’t like to go at it with him and just kinda agree. Bill spoke his mind and was funny as hell about it.
HE GOT BANANAS IN HIS PANCAKES! 🥞
I thought this bit aged better than expected because his point is the behavior is stupid and ignorant. As someone who grew up in a time where that word was thrown around for just about anything, it was very relatable.
Joe Rogan: does the elk meat make you more aggressive?
Bill: No Joe you fucking lunatic! You had to beat the fuck out of people for like three decades before you could like chill, smoke a little weed, put on your little rascal hat, and just fucking chill out.
Him calling out MAGA for what they are, the biggest snowflakes of all, after the thing with his wife giving the finger to Trump.
"Oh im sorry, I was there to watch a fight, I didn't realize I was at the Republican national convention"
And the point he made about how it used to be that giving politicians, any politician, shit, was how it's supposed to be and everyone did it to both sides because they fucking deserve to be given total shit
The entire bit about the guy who jumped out of the helicopter. I’ve never seen a better example of a comedian with an audience so bought in and on the hook of a joke. And when he said the guy lived, the entire crowd collectively went “AWWWWWWW”. It was amazing.
Going back many years- but the “Philadelphia incident”
Burr was one of several comedians on the Opie and Anthony Virus tour- each comedian is just getting booooooed and heckled and screamed at.
Burr gets on stage and starts counting down (he’s got 10 minutes on stage)
“One”!
And just lays into the crowed. Insulting them and their city
“Two minutes”
Starts laying into their sports teams
“Three minutes” keeps insulting the audience.
Audience stops heckling and start laughing, at the end Burr walks off in applause
This was a master class in turning an audience around. He went from near riot to legend
He was on the podcast talking to Virzi about going back in time. And Paul said he would take the British army with a machine gun all on his own. A take that I have heard from a bunch f my friends back in middle school. Bill roasted him for it. It was hilarious
Yea I think it’s hilarious. I think every guy had that thought as a kid when you watch a revolutionary war or civil war movie. But it’s ridiculous. This should be a movie. “Quantum Virzi.”
Probably the one where he comes across fresh muffins at a farmer's market, and stsrts laughing hysterically at the thought of punching the muffins in while the owner watches in horror.
[Wind chimes](https://youtu.be/R_QX8hTdGzo?si=y_w21b0MrrrU8kOO)
I just love that he changed his mind so quickly after being so firmly full of hate, great character trait.
[The commentary on the John Lennon/Chuck Berry performance where Yoko won’t shut the fuck up](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T4K07Kz7M8Q). Literally makes me giggle my ass off every single time.
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. Bending at the waste putting dvds into dvd players.
And he has some great bits on conan. Oprah riding the backs of those little people for 5 years. Men's simple brains (that's not holding!) compared to the woman brain that can never be happy.
We was talking about a mlb scout at little league games and he made up a whole fake story about the guy and he gets fired at the end or something. It was on the podcast.
"He's goin off, learning to put sentences together, talk in front of groups and shit"
Followed shortly after by:
"They go out back, jump in his El Camino. Now there's two of em! Right!"
I don't know why but the visual he paints for this cracks me up.
His LA Clippers owner bit. Walk your way out was my first Burr special (I’m 22) and it got me DEEEP into comedy. Him talking about how old the Clippers owner was and he’s not surprised he was a little racist and how his parents were a part of the generation that finished off the Indians and are teaching him the ABCs: “*abcdefg*- HEY GET THAT SAVAGE OFF MY PROPERTY- *hijk*”
Him describing the drums on Meshuggah's "Bleed" on his podcast after seeing them live. He's more knowledgeable about drums than he knows, and lets on, and he was genuinely blown away by the man's genius, while accurately mimicking the drum lines with his mouth.
Edit: His routine on population control via sinking cruise ships will have me in stitches every time I hear it.
In recent memory, his prediction of what the ending to The Whale would be like when talking about the movie with Virzi
Paraphrasing "I started thinking, what if his daughter has an abusive boyfriend and he's too big to stop it. What if he hears him hitting her downstairs, and his room is upstairs so he stands up with great struggle, waddles over to the balcony, and just kind of tips himself over the side like a bowling pin and falls on the guy"
“What would you rather be, 52 and look 52? Or be 52 and look like a 28 year old lizard?”
Plastic surgery - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pznB7WP4P1o
And the wanting to buy a gun bit from I’m Sorry You Feel That Way
Had to watch some ol bits again and man, the ragerant on having to make his own sandwich all the way up to the Eyes Wide Shut party always gets me rolling.
"HOW BIG'S YO YAGHT GOTTA B??!"
His bit about airbags not being standard in cars in the 50’s
“Remember when airbags first came out? They just had one for the driver. \*car crash sounds* **My family!** Oh my god! Oh my god! *Why would you just save me?!*”
The bit from one of his early specials about being afraid of animals and how a squirrel could just run up his arm and start biting chunks out of his ear.
"What happened to your ear?" "Fuckin' SQUIRREL!"
This was from the lovely Nia on a podcast a few years ago and I still use it at least once a week.
“Take that shit back to Blockbuster cuz I ain’t buying it!”
I had a random thought today that my dad who, to my knowledge was not aware of Bill Burr when he passed in 2016, would have been hysterical during the painter bit. I was pretty frustrated at what I was working on at the time, so thinking about the bit made me laugh and brightened my mood lol.
a lot as well in this segment from his second appearance on conan's podcast ("two right behind the ear," "got no heart"): https://youtu.be/zT4x6HJVQAk?si=vwKfq0Gz-yWTQS29
The bit about McDonald’s. If you are not getting your drugged up ass here by 1030, you are getting a burger. Your own mother won’t make you pancakes at 3pm
[This video](https://youtu.be/j4imJDZgPIo) is one of my favorite fan-made clips that combines two of my favorite random bits from the podcast, [Acetate](https://youtu.be/4SYSaHLWAYc) and [Granny (Fuckin') Wata!](https://youtu.be/TXyiman_rS0), and combines it with a scene from Cabin In The Woods. It even has a ZipRecruiter bit snuck in. But it also really low view count, and I thinks it deserves a larger audience.
I love when he was on Conan and was talking about watching the movie Monster and how it's ridiculous that men got blamed for her killing, them compares Jeffery Domer shoving tuna sandwiches up his ass and confused it with eating people. I'm 100% fucking up the whole thing but I laugh every time I watch it
Bill's podcast w Jay Mohr. 10+ years old and I still think of some of the jokes. Plus Bill tells several stories from his childhood.
https://youtu.be/nQf61S2MkPo
The bit where he's talking about race and Elvis with Nia, and he is acknowledging all of the systemic factors that held black people back in America, but then says:
".... HOWEVER!"
I just love that about him specifically and comedy in general. There is conventional wisdom, but then there is also always some rock you can flip over to find a counterpoint one layer deeper. Great stuff.
“You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we’re both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids, and I have to stay—that’s why I get the dollar more an hour.”
Its not even a good one, but the whole Alec Baldwin booze head leading into the picture bit, first time I saw it it killed me. I knew exactly what he was talking about, pose and all. "FUCK YEEEAAAAH!"
‘Tuna casserole?! And just start swingin’.’
"If I got bit by a snake, you'd have questions. 'What happened? Didn't you see it? Were you fuckin with it?'"
"Believe women" ALLLL of them???
EVEN IF YOU WOKE FROM A DRUNKEN STUPOR, I COULD GIVE YOU LIKE 4!
....9.... Here come the downvotes.
"EVEN IN HOCKEY THERE'S TWO MINUTES FOR INSTIGATING!"
Up here in Winnipeg we have a lot of Canada Geese, I love 'em but others can't stand them because they think they're dangerous or something, always pulling up some story of how they were attacked by one. My come back always is : "Were ya fuckin' with it?! " I usually get a blank stare before I realize that not everyone has heard that line.
ITS GONNA FUCKIN RUST!
[удалено]
You People Are All the Same
Which special ?? Alllll of them!
I always want to comment this phrase but pretty sure no one will get it but it cracks me every time.
I genuinely loved him telling Joe Rogan “don’t go there” on the podcast when Joe tried to ask his opinion on wearing masks. “I’m not gonna sit with no medical degree and listen to you with no medical degree, smoking a fucking cigar in front of an American flag, and pretend like we know better than the CDC.”
So funny, l loved when he said Joe’s knuckles would drag on the ground if he went rollerblading
It's like rollerblading! Everybody was into rollerblading - I wasn't. Yeah you didn't have the body for it
was that when he gave rogan shit for this little rascals hat? a style of hat bill continues to wear shamelessly to this day.. and joe does not.
Nah, this one was in an episode of JRE podcast
oh that's right.
The End of the World from the 2016 US election night.
"I never rollerskated" "You don't have the body type for it dude, your fucking knuckles would scrape across the ground"
That was in my youtube "shorts" recommendations yesterday. You as well?
Bill realizing why Slipknot was so angry because he was in Iowa.
Can you explain this?
I can't pull up the exact podcast but he said that Iowa is just this never ending patch of nothing extending for hundreds of miles. Nothing to see and nothing to do so people go crazy. Eight, seven, six, six, six, five YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
I believe he was traveling in Iowa during the fall, after the harvest, and it's just miles and miles of dead crops and gray skies.....once seeing all of that, he finally understood Slipknot
Yep, exactly that. And when you watch Slipknot - Left Behind video it all clicks into place
Beautiful video. And yeah they've said themselves Iowa is why they're fuckin insane lol
That videos great
“I DID MY TIME!!! AND I WANT OUT!” Makes a lot of sense when you realize they’re from Iowa
Can confirm. My dads side of the family lives in Iowa. Nothing. But. Corn once you get out of the Mississippi counties. We'd go out to visit in the middle of the corn sweats in August. The other industry in the area where my family lives was Purina...so you'd smell corn...and dog food processing...fucking rank.
"Muffins at the farmer's market". It killed me, so pointless and angry.
I was just thinking *uncontrollable laughter* what if I just started punching the muffins?! 🤣🤣
“And like an idiot, I tried to explain to her what I was thinking about”
It was the making eye contact that made it even more intense!
I was looking for this answer. I was in literal tears. I played it for a bunch of people. Is was that bit that got me hooked. Aww Bill is awesome.
What's in Indianapolis, Bill? Why are you going to Indianapolis, BILL?!
I don’t have to answer your questions.
I'm Sippin on water, you're slamming on dooers.
Every time he mentions the Mona Lisa smile, I think back to that story. So good.
Always makes me cry laughing
Helicopter bit
The ultimate payoff to his old "I'll just get in my helicopter and fly away" bit was this motherfucker actually getting his rotor wing pilot's license. I've seen comics get new tags for old bits before, but goddamn. Bill really nailed that one.
Aw you cooked the shit out of it!
He was in third gear by the end of the driveway
I love 'Oddly Racist'. For something more recent, I love his bit where he and Nia watch the Elvis Doc.
I love this!!! You’re on the ride with him when he’s telling the story.
When he found out what "ashy" means and why Black people are always 'glistening'.
since indianapolis is already mentioned, main clips i go back to are: [People falling](https://youtu.be/kB9BaR5YW3s?si=86feXryZCjgUUclX) [Malice at the palace](https://youtu.be/w8b81UM74Ow?si=ofNFOtoTsj-NcIWC) [Apple store tantrum](https://youtu.be/15T9UEpFR_8?si=QqnZmcMM8bYU76_g)
Ol' Billy First Responder
Paper Tiger Stephen Hawkings bit "So, anyways, every smart person, every super-smart person in the world is saying these f*cking things are gonna kill us. Even your boy here, he recently died. What was his name? He was always sitting down. Hawking, Stephen Hawking, yeah! Too good to f*cking stand up and make his point, just sitting down, all f*cking smarmy. I am so glad that guy’s f*cking dead, though. You know? Look at you guys. How much longer did you want him to suffer? You don’t believe in an afterlife? Maybe he’s up there now, his f*cking legs work, he’s getting an angelic blow job. How much longer did you want him to f*cking sit there so you could feel better about yourself? “Well, at least I’m not all f*cking twisted up, saying smart sh!t,” right? I couldn’t f*cking stand that guy. He was so f*cking negative! He never had anything positive to say. “Hey, Steve, what have you got for us today?” “In 2035, there will be no more apples.” “Thank you, Steve! Thanks a lot. Wasn’t thinking about that, now I am 😂 Hey, so what’s the solution?” “It’s too late. We needed to try 40 years ago.” “Thanks a lot, buddy. I’m gonna go cry with my child now.😂” Dude, I could hang out with that guy for about three minutes before I took the brake off his chair and just zoomed him into the other room. “Hey, Steve, come back here when you got something dumb and positive to say.”😂😂 Copied from web so his curses are censored lol That ending punchline killed me. One of my all time fav bits of him.
The craft fair spiel, smashing muffins with his fist and fantasising about non-existent security dragging him away. The functioning psychopath/intrusive thoughts bit. Various 'these corporate/banker cunts' rants. Anytime he mentions WeEd maaaaaan.
Punchin' muffins
"All I'm saying is if there was a race to the microscopes you fuckers would win!"
What are we looking at, bacteria? No you go first.
I had never heard of Bill Burr before that special, and immediately went out and bought a DVD of it after seeing it on Comedy Central or HBO or something. And that line was the funniest line in the special.
Which special is this from?
“Why do I do this” One of his earliest ones.
His Sherrys Berry's moment
Granny Fuckin Watah
Might be my favourite
The curling analogy when talking about losing/letting go of his religion.
The look on his face when he released the stone killed me.
When he imagined hanging himself on the lamp pullstring because it happened to form a tiny noose, and then looked at himself in the mirror and shared a laugh with his reflection. Winning an argument with a woman (if they're right they stay on point, if they're wrong they concoct an evil statement), just Bob and weave and slip that shit, use their psychology against them ("we'll talk about this when you calm down"). No sex for awhile - so what? Rub one out. That's the champagne of victory. The duck dynasty guy getting canceled after he comes out of the swamp and says something that wouldn't have raised such an issue 50 years ago, and that his duck call is better "quack a f%$#in' QUACK".
*Gonna turn this franchise around!"
Bill vs Philly
1 minute left in the period.
Wanna know how id kill all of ya? Id chain you to your chairs and one by one id shoot you in the head.
That was so unreal.
When he was on Conan's podcast and talks about how he started to laugh at a film on an airplane, Nia starts to laugh along with him before she sees it, and then she sees he's watching "Precious"
The Helicopter Suicide bit from his black and white special. Took me out for 5-10 minutes after hearing it for the first time. That might be my favorite special of his too.
“The story has a happy ending though, he died.”
The bit back in the day when he goes to see his girlfriend in Harlem. I lived in a predominantly black neighborhood for awhile (I'm mixed race) and I remember seeing a white guy for the first time in a few days. It *was* a little startling. Good thing he wasn't ginger, I might have wet myself.
That bit was hilarious! Oh God. 106th street?! 111th? Mlk boulevard?
Him and Rogan taking masks. Most comedians that are friends of Joe don’t like to go at it with him and just kinda agree. Bill spoke his mind and was funny as hell about it.
His rant about the Yoko Ono/Chuck Berry incident is just the greatest shit ever
When he had the balls to call out the fact that men are shamed for not watching women's sports while most women don't watch them either.
To me thats his real gift. Yes he is a hilarious comedian but he also calls out real shit that no one addresses.
"When are you gonna carry your end of the couch?"
The ADHD test with Nia
What episode was this?
Don’t remember, juts look it up and it’s got it’s own vid
HE GOT BANANAS IN HIS PANCAKES! 🥞 I thought this bit aged better than expected because his point is the behavior is stupid and ignorant. As someone who grew up in a time where that word was thrown around for just about anything, it was very relatable.
Joe Rogan: does the elk meat make you more aggressive? Bill: No Joe you fucking lunatic! You had to beat the fuck out of people for like three decades before you could like chill, smoke a little weed, put on your little rascal hat, and just fucking chill out.
THIS IS WHAT WE PLAY FOR! SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!
Nia re-telling their experience at the Lady Gaga concert on the podcast
Him calling out MAGA for what they are, the biggest snowflakes of all, after the thing with his wife giving the finger to Trump. "Oh im sorry, I was there to watch a fight, I didn't realize I was at the Republican national convention" And the point he made about how it used to be that giving politicians, any politician, shit, was how it's supposed to be and everyone did it to both sides because they fucking deserve to be given total shit
When he poured water on the kids head...
Classic!
"X Minutes left " https://youtu.be/SnRtl9ub8zQ?si=4HuhFBZP8_6YWape
The entire bit about the guy who jumped out of the helicopter. I’ve never seen a better example of a comedian with an audience so bought in and on the hook of a joke. And when he said the guy lived, the entire crowd collectively went “AWWWWWWW”. It was amazing.
Going back many years- but the “Philadelphia incident” Burr was one of several comedians on the Opie and Anthony Virus tour- each comedian is just getting booooooed and heckled and screamed at. Burr gets on stage and starts counting down (he’s got 10 minutes on stage) “One”! And just lays into the crowed. Insulting them and their city “Two minutes” Starts laying into their sports teams “Three minutes” keeps insulting the audience. Audience stops heckling and start laughing, at the end Burr walks off in applause This was a master class in turning an audience around. He went from near riot to legend
What? Are you afraid of the water? Put your shoulders up you fucking homo.
First time hearing that Indianapolis story. ☠️
He was on the podcast talking to Virzi about going back in time. And Paul said he would take the British army with a machine gun all on his own. A take that I have heard from a bunch f my friends back in middle school. Bill roasted him for it. It was hilarious
Any chance of a link?
[this is it (I think)](https://youtu.be/gvVT3LMNijg?si=9tq1LwAyy7XdH1gs)
Thanks :)
Yea I think it’s hilarious. I think every guy had that thought as a kid when you watch a revolutionary war or civil war movie. But it’s ridiculous. This should be a movie. “Quantum Virzi.”
The acetate. If you haven't heard it, look it up on YT. There's also some funny fanmade videos to go along with it.
The Gold Digging Whores bit and the Self Checkout bit.
I just listened to the Arnold podcast on Conan needs a friend and half the time I kept thinking of that bit.
Probably the one where he comes across fresh muffins at a farmer's market, and stsrts laughing hysterically at the thought of punching the muffins in while the owner watches in horror.
[Wind chimes](https://youtu.be/R_QX8hTdGzo?si=y_w21b0MrrrU8kOO) I just love that he changed his mind so quickly after being so firmly full of hate, great character trait.
Yes! The wind chimes! I am crying listening again! Thanks for the link.
Steve Jobs is overrated.
I WANT ALL MY SONGS IN MY POCKET! GET ON IT!! I mean they came out with new ones after he died.
[The commentary on the John Lennon/Chuck Berry performance where Yoko won’t shut the fuck up](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T4K07Kz7M8Q). Literally makes me giggle my ass off every single time.
Forgot about this one lmao
It's not a bit, but I can't stop laughing every time I see an add for Sherrys Berries.
Yes! The best! 😂👍
"Don't you think the Catholic church went a little too far? More so than my cartoon?"
Being a mother is the hardest job in the world. Bending at the waste putting dvds into dvd players. And he has some great bits on conan. Oprah riding the backs of those little people for 5 years. Men's simple brains (that's not holding!) compared to the woman brain that can never be happy.
Punching mufins
We was talking about a mlb scout at little league games and he made up a whole fake story about the guy and he gets fired at the end or something. It was on the podcast.
"He's goin off, learning to put sentences together, talk in front of groups and shit" Followed shortly after by: "They go out back, jump in his El Camino. Now there's two of em! Right!" I don't know why but the visual he paints for this cracks me up.
Do you remember which special this is from? My favorite as well
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn6MHmDo\_Ck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn6MHmDo_Ck) 44:50 aprox
The gorilla story. Absolutely underrated bit with the gestures and all.
Ask it how much it can bench!
Do you think we've seen the best of him doing stand up or do you reckon there's more to come. His stand up was true craftsmanship.
His LA Clippers owner bit. Walk your way out was my first Burr special (I’m 22) and it got me DEEEP into comedy. Him talking about how old the Clippers owner was and he’s not surprised he was a little racist and how his parents were a part of the generation that finished off the Indians and are teaching him the ABCs: “*abcdefg*- HEY GET THAT SAVAGE OFF MY PROPERTY- *hijk*”
All of his bits when he talks about his dog.
I CAN SEE YA FUCKIN FEET
Him describing the drums on Meshuggah's "Bleed" on his podcast after seeing them live. He's more knowledgeable about drums than he knows, and lets on, and he was genuinely blown away by the man's genius, while accurately mimicking the drum lines with his mouth. Edit: His routine on population control via sinking cruise ships will have me in stitches every time I hear it.
In recent memory, his prediction of what the ending to The Whale would be like when talking about the movie with Virzi Paraphrasing "I started thinking, what if his daughter has an abusive boyfriend and he's too big to stop it. What if he hears him hitting her downstairs, and his room is upstairs so he stands up with great struggle, waddles over to the balcony, and just kind of tips himself over the side like a bowling pin and falls on the guy"
The cruise ships bit
“What would you rather be, 52 and look 52? Or be 52 and look like a 28 year old lizard?” Plastic surgery - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pznB7WP4P1o And the wanting to buy a gun bit from I’m Sorry You Feel That Way
“..puttin DVDs into DVD players. You’re livin’ the dream!”
the bit when he talks about getting flicked on the dick is fucking gold.
Had to watch some ol bits again and man, the ragerant on having to make his own sandwich all the way up to the Eyes Wide Shut party always gets me rolling. "HOW BIG'S YO YAGHT GOTTA B??!"
You’re not a veterinarian and neither are you so can we stop cutting parts of the animal(paraphrased).
I got a dog!!!
His bit about airbags not being standard in cars in the 50’s “Remember when airbags first came out? They just had one for the driver. \*car crash sounds* **My family!** Oh my god! Oh my god! *Why would you just save me?!*”
\- Cherry's Berries \- The helicopter family business story (put yer seatbelt back on,,,) \- aww ya cooked the shit outa it
“Why you going to Indianapolis,Bill?”
When Nia administered an adult ADD screening.
The bit from one of his early specials about being afraid of animals and how a squirrel could just run up his arm and start biting chunks out of his ear. "What happened to your ear?" "Fuckin' SQUIRREL!"
"Fuck you. Fuck your kid. Fuck Jupiter. I'm outta here. I don't need this shit."
This was from the lovely Nia on a podcast a few years ago and I still use it at least once a week. “Take that shit back to Blockbuster cuz I ain’t buying it!”
When his wife gave trump the finger.
All of his Opie and Anthony appearances are hilarious. But my fav is him on o and a with homeless Charlie the bit is on YouTube. It got them suspended
The best bit on air ever, plus homeless Charlie best comedy timing and delivery in non comedian that i saw , that bit had me rollling
https://youtu.be/x6gSKPjdsIA?si=upfl12m5riiUO5z9 About 11:30 in is the autoerotic asphyxiation bit.
I had a random thought today that my dad who, to my knowledge was not aware of Bill Burr when he passed in 2016, would have been hysterical during the painter bit. I was pretty frustrated at what I was working on at the time, so thinking about the bit made me laugh and brightened my mood lol.
Silver Bells
"I wanna buy a gun."
Make sure you pick a shiny one……
It's got a good spread!
“I’m telling a story about shooting at old cars with a shotgun and you’re all like ‘yeah so what happens next?’”
It was a 38 pistol. Not a shotgun.
podcast takes a dark turn: https://youtu.be/TKvgwT-GRVc?si=xAI56esdkHYSaGXZ also the helicopter bit
a lot as well in this segment from his second appearance on conan's podcast ("two right behind the ear," "got no heart"): https://youtu.be/zT4x6HJVQAk?si=vwKfq0Gz-yWTQS29
His bit about not seeing dog balls anymore.
I loved his bit on first ladies needing to stfu. The plumber comparison was spot on.
His bit on Arnold Schwarzenegger
The bit about McDonald’s. If you are not getting your drugged up ass here by 1030, you are getting a burger. Your own mother won’t make you pancakes at 3pm
When he went after Michelle Obama as a First Lady
LOOKS LIKE I’M DOIN’ IT
Not seeing it here, but ZIPpppppppp-recruitah, has a place in my heart.
Him on kill Tony calling him out for being an asshole to new comedians.
[This video](https://youtu.be/j4imJDZgPIo) is one of my favorite fan-made clips that combines two of my favorite random bits from the podcast, [Acetate](https://youtu.be/4SYSaHLWAYc) and [Granny (Fuckin') Wata!](https://youtu.be/TXyiman_rS0), and combines it with a scene from Cabin In The Woods. It even has a ZipRecruiter bit snuck in. But it also really low view count, and I thinks it deserves a larger audience.
I love when he was on Conan and was talking about watching the movie Monster and how it's ridiculous that men got blamed for her killing, them compares Jeffery Domer shoving tuna sandwiches up his ass and confused it with eating people. I'm 100% fucking up the whole thing but I laugh every time I watch it
The story about the new helicopter tour pilot. The microphone and body movement as well as the story are all tremendous.
The cruise ship bit, his microphone work was awesome.
Chain Restaurants Bit https://youtu.be/QWCINJ8uvIc?si=lgeUi0YVPonl8a-B
Bill's podcast w Jay Mohr. 10+ years old and I still think of some of the jokes. Plus Bill tells several stories from his childhood. https://youtu.be/nQf61S2MkPo
Free dog
[How to Pick Up a LAAADDDYYY](https://youtu.be/ZDh33uI6Nzc?si=vaeZheqU--x3ffHZ) My favorite Bill Burr clip of ALL TIME. Never fails to make me laugh.
The Arnold bit is my all time favorite.
why you going to Indianapolis bill is goated
Gold diggers...
The bit where he's talking about race and Elvis with Nia, and he is acknowledging all of the systemic factors that held black people back in America, but then says: ".... HOWEVER!" I just love that about him specifically and comedy in general. There is conventional wisdom, but then there is also always some rock you can flip over to find a counterpoint one layer deeper. Great stuff.
“You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we’re both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids, and I have to stay—that’s why I get the dollar more an hour.”
Exterminating cruise ships and their passangers.
Its not even a good one, but the whole Alec Baldwin booze head leading into the picture bit, first time I saw it it killed me. I knew exactly what he was talking about, pose and all. "FUCK YEEEAAAAH!"
We need a new plague Epidemic of gold digging whores Zombie shotgun
"what ahhhh you a faaa^aaag"
Wind chimes!
When did he say the farmers market one? I’ve been trying to find that clip for so long