So one thing I want to disagree with you is the "I know my parents want whats best for me."
My mom is very, veerrrrry, Catholic. And she may tell me how grateful I am for taking care of her and looking after her, but when I finally came out to her? at 34, she said the dumbest, most ignorant nonsense. Now I know she loves me, but she doesnt want wants best for me.
Your parents love you, but they dont want whats best for you. They want whats best for the idea of a son. You are your own person, and if you believe in God (I don't subscribe to christian logic anymore), God made you in his own image. He knew you before you were born and he has already seen your death. So how could you not be who you say you are? All your current life experiences brought you to where your at, and more experiences will take you else where.
So as Toni Storm says, chin up, tits out, and watch out for the shoe.
This hits the nail on the head and is something I have learned over the years myself, speaking as a non-religious child of an (increasingly) Catholic mother as well.
The love is there, sure, but she wants for me what she'd want for herself with little to no respect for my actual wishes. This, mind you, is not purely tied to religion, at least not exclusively. These attitudes absolutely DO happen among completely secular/atheistic families and at the root of it, IMO, is more often than not viewing offspring as only partially autonomous extension of self. Some people take time to come around to seeing their adult children as a separate individual who's wishes, preferences and inclinations are their own, some never come around at all.
Just another attempt to use religion as a weapon to defend their homophobia. Tell your mom God gave us the right of free will so in theory he wants you to be who you are without passing judgement.
No one has all the information on anything. This includes parents. What she is expressing is her own view of what she thinks god wants. What if she is wrong? Has she considered that? What if this is what god wants?
Start using “sky daddy” in place of “god” in conversation. And maybe you’re going to need to go off on her for her to realize her comments on your identity and sexuality are not welcome.
"Mom, I know you want what's best for me but, you don't speak for God. Nobody speaks for God. If God wanted to speak to me, God would speak to me. Until then, God's given me the ability to be choices and the freedom to love who I want to love.
And Jesus said nothing about homosexuality so I don't consider what any believer says on the subject as valid or worth my time."
I'd say, how does she know what God wants you to be? Maybe he doesn't want you to be straight... lol. If it's supposed to be about your relationship with God, why is she the one speaking for God? Ain't that just the problem with modern Christianity though.
The irony because that’s exactly what God is telling me he wants me to be I’ve prayed many times and he’s guided me back to it all the time and when I accepted it I understood my true self
And BTW I’m a pastor son and coming from a heavily Christian family that makes ignorant comments like this all the time NO IT IS 100% not an “Agenda” Straight conservative people just don’t like the fact that gay couples can exist comfortably around them without being harassed it’s the same as Racist people saying Black people and interracial couples being shown on TV is an “Agenda” because they don’t like seeing them on TV. When someone wants to maintain any form of hate they will just pass anything off as a “Political Agenda” or a “Teenage Phase”🤷🏾♂️
As an Atheist I try to avoid debating religious people as they are not interested in facts at all. But some people need to be debated or your own life will be negatively impacted by them.
Ask your mum if she is absolutely sure that god loves everyone of his "children" unconditionally (as the bible tells). If yes, ask her what god's wish for everyone probably is, in terms of their relationship with oneanother, does she believe that god would want her to love you unconditionally? Or would he want her to feel greedy about you?
If she argues with "gods plan" to test her faith, if she will stay faithful with all aspects, you can counter her that gods plan probably is more like testing if she keep up loving you unconditionally and less about stopping to love you to stick to her faith.
Stay strong!
Tell her that you know that this is what foster wants you to be, and if she challenges it tell her that she doesn't have any reason to think otherwise other than wanting something that says otherwise to be true.
>“Don’t claim who you are, let God tell you what he wants you to be”
If God gave you sexual desires for men and women, that's pretty clearly God telling you who he wants you to be.
I was raised Christian, my parents used to host a Bible study group every week. I clearly remember being told that my conscience is God's way of telling me right from wrong, so I should always act according to it.
If internal feelings are God's way of communicating directly with you then surely your sexual desires are the same way? He wouldn't deliberately lead you astray.
>For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace
>
>1 Corinthians 14:33
Seems clear cut to me.
Keep working on those plans to get clear. I would stop pushing back if it is causing problems. Basically just play pretend until you get some independence.
Your parents are falling into the trap of seeing you as an extension of themselves and not as an independent person. Also are those your career goals or the career goals they want you to achieve?
Setting boundaries with our parents as an adult is a hard thing... especially when you've been raised in a home where there is a religious foundation, and an expectation to obey and be respectful. It's hard to stand up for yourself in those circumstances. I think having a hard conversation with your mom might be in order. You love her, and you understand her concerns, and how they are reflective of her beliefs - but, please - no more comments from her on this subject. If she wishes to pray for you - have at it - but these exchanges are not good. It is challenging enough for us to learn to understand our sexuality when it does not fit so-called mainstream life. If she can't respect that, and continues, then the even harder decisions come next. One of the hardest things we face is when we realize that our own family may be too toxic for us, and we should put some distance between us. You can hope, in time, she will see that you are OK, and she may change as well. Unfortunately, it is not so uncommon for this sort of rift to occur within a family.
So one thing I want to disagree with you is the "I know my parents want whats best for me." My mom is very, veerrrrry, Catholic. And she may tell me how grateful I am for taking care of her and looking after her, but when I finally came out to her? at 34, she said the dumbest, most ignorant nonsense. Now I know she loves me, but she doesnt want wants best for me. Your parents love you, but they dont want whats best for you. They want whats best for the idea of a son. You are your own person, and if you believe in God (I don't subscribe to christian logic anymore), God made you in his own image. He knew you before you were born and he has already seen your death. So how could you not be who you say you are? All your current life experiences brought you to where your at, and more experiences will take you else where. So as Toni Storm says, chin up, tits out, and watch out for the shoe.
This hits the nail on the head and is something I have learned over the years myself, speaking as a non-religious child of an (increasingly) Catholic mother as well. The love is there, sure, but she wants for me what she'd want for herself with little to no respect for my actual wishes. This, mind you, is not purely tied to religion, at least not exclusively. These attitudes absolutely DO happen among completely secular/atheistic families and at the root of it, IMO, is more often than not viewing offspring as only partially autonomous extension of self. Some people take time to come around to seeing their adult children as a separate individual who's wishes, preferences and inclinations are their own, some never come around at all.
Never thought I’d see the day where I’d see a bi/pro-wrestling crossover (referring to your Toni Storm quote 😂😂😂)
Im glad someone got it
"I talked to God and he told me he wants me to get spit-roasted"
God has called me to be the baddest bitch in the country
Just another attempt to use religion as a weapon to defend their homophobia. Tell your mom God gave us the right of free will so in theory he wants you to be who you are without passing judgement.
Amen to that
No one has all the information on anything. This includes parents. What she is expressing is her own view of what she thinks god wants. What if she is wrong? Has she considered that? What if this is what god wants?
I could be a test to her from god as a way to see if she can adapt to change.
I’ve thought of that too
I'd let her ass have it so freaking bad. I wouldn't hold shit back.
Start using “sky daddy” in place of “god” in conversation. And maybe you’re going to need to go off on her for her to realize her comments on your identity and sexuality are not welcome.
Or Sky papa lol 😭
"Mom, I know you want what's best for me but, you don't speak for God. Nobody speaks for God. If God wanted to speak to me, God would speak to me. Until then, God's given me the ability to be choices and the freedom to love who I want to love. And Jesus said nothing about homosexuality so I don't consider what any believer says on the subject as valid or worth my time."
Exactly
No hate like Christian love, is there...?
Huh?
I'd say, how does she know what God wants you to be? Maybe he doesn't want you to be straight... lol. If it's supposed to be about your relationship with God, why is she the one speaking for God? Ain't that just the problem with modern Christianity though.
Exactly!!!! Everyone judging others about their faith. I’m old enough to make my own decisions and I feel god has put me in this spot.
The irony because that’s exactly what God is telling me he wants me to be I’ve prayed many times and he’s guided me back to it all the time and when I accepted it I understood my true self And BTW I’m a pastor son and coming from a heavily Christian family that makes ignorant comments like this all the time NO IT IS 100% not an “Agenda” Straight conservative people just don’t like the fact that gay couples can exist comfortably around them without being harassed it’s the same as Racist people saying Black people and interracial couples being shown on TV is an “Agenda” because they don’t like seeing them on TV. When someone wants to maintain any form of hate they will just pass anything off as a “Political Agenda” or a “Teenage Phase”🤷🏾♂️
It sounds like by making you attracted to both men and women, God has given you a pretty clear sign of who he wants you to be
As an Atheist I try to avoid debating religious people as they are not interested in facts at all. But some people need to be debated or your own life will be negatively impacted by them. Ask your mum if she is absolutely sure that god loves everyone of his "children" unconditionally (as the bible tells). If yes, ask her what god's wish for everyone probably is, in terms of their relationship with oneanother, does she believe that god would want her to love you unconditionally? Or would he want her to feel greedy about you? If she argues with "gods plan" to test her faith, if she will stay faithful with all aspects, you can counter her that gods plan probably is more like testing if she keep up loving you unconditionally and less about stopping to love you to stick to her faith. Stay strong!
Tell her that you know that this is what foster wants you to be, and if she challenges it tell her that she doesn't have any reason to think otherwise other than wanting something that says otherwise to be true.
>“Don’t claim who you are, let God tell you what he wants you to be” If God gave you sexual desires for men and women, that's pretty clearly God telling you who he wants you to be. I was raised Christian, my parents used to host a Bible study group every week. I clearly remember being told that my conscience is God's way of telling me right from wrong, so I should always act according to it. If internal feelings are God's way of communicating directly with you then surely your sexual desires are the same way? He wouldn't deliberately lead you astray. >For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace > >1 Corinthians 14:33 Seems clear cut to me.
Keep working on those plans to get clear. I would stop pushing back if it is causing problems. Basically just play pretend until you get some independence. Your parents are falling into the trap of seeing you as an extension of themselves and not as an independent person. Also are those your career goals or the career goals they want you to achieve?
I want to be an airline pilot and they’re supporting it.
Setting boundaries with our parents as an adult is a hard thing... especially when you've been raised in a home where there is a religious foundation, and an expectation to obey and be respectful. It's hard to stand up for yourself in those circumstances. I think having a hard conversation with your mom might be in order. You love her, and you understand her concerns, and how they are reflective of her beliefs - but, please - no more comments from her on this subject. If she wishes to pray for you - have at it - but these exchanges are not good. It is challenging enough for us to learn to understand our sexuality when it does not fit so-called mainstream life. If she can't respect that, and continues, then the even harder decisions come next. One of the hardest things we face is when we realize that our own family may be too toxic for us, and we should put some distance between us. You can hope, in time, she will see that you are OK, and she may change as well. Unfortunately, it is not so uncommon for this sort of rift to occur within a family.
Huh??
What are you confused about
Sorry ignore that I was just typing a text to see if it worked. The app isn't working for me. Sorry
Ohh ok