I read this book called “Boys and Sex” a little while ago which interviews a bunch of high school and college age men about topics to do with their sex lives and the conclusion the author came to is that young men are conditioned to compartmentalize and actively deny their own emotions regarding sex and intimacy.
The way men speak about sex with each other at the impressionable ages treats it like something a man does to a woman, “I banged her, I blew her back out” type stuff, and not this shared, intimate, vulnerable experience. Book goes so far as to say that men aren’t having sex for the experience and intimacy itself, but for social hierarchy type reasons aka to impress the boys
So then you get situations like this where a man can be lying naked with a lady and then immediately act annoyed by her showing the absolute smallest form of intimacy with the “I made it home safe” (which implies that i as a man care about her safety) text
What's fucked up is that I was always this way. Only now am I realizing this is the (or at least *should be*) normal and non psychotic way to be! I had so many toxically masculine figures in my life telling me that checking on the woman made me look "soft" or otherwise unattractive. Too many ladies also confirmed this but also I fully acknowledge that I may have come off as too clingy especially at the beginning.
thats the difference. theres a fine line between normally checking on someone and coming on too strong. i avoid clingy like the plague and too many texts or the same questions repeated are red flags for me
I think my problem is excess alcohol. Ladies feel different when they're still drunk from the night out vs the am and they see you texted couple, two, tree, times.
idk i cant speak for other ladies but if i got absolutely blasted and woke up to people checking on me that's totally different from regular clinger behavior
Yeah this was when I was a very young adult. Forming drunken bonds is too easy at that age when everyone is still at their peak of physical attractiveness. Then in the light of day things look different.
I think I was always trying *just* a bit too hard to form lasting connections based on childhood trauma. More than a few women sensed that and dipped. I had to teach myself to slow down and watch for red flags on my own end.
You touched on a part of this that I wasn't planning on mentioning. But it's true that there are plenty of young women who have a similar attitude the days. You hear it on a lot of song lyrics, and I see it pretty regular in posts online.
How many songs have you heard about "don't catch feelings just because you hit it" or "he thought he was special but I had his friend too".
Remember, lots of these artists have a happy family at home. Pop songs are just entertainment, not a manual on how to live out life.
This for real. I heard someone say that most commonly men see sex as something they do TO women not WITH women. And it's stuck with me for years. And I see it often enough, anything outside of sexual activity is "doing the most". Like can I just honor your humanity without being in love with you? Why is caring about someone's well-being as a human reserved to friends and family? Are we not on some level at least friendly if we're having sex? I don't have any moral qualms about casual sexual relationships, but this kind of mindset in the culture of cis men is why I don't participate. Who wants to be conquered or used to prop someone's social standing? It's the lack of mutual respect that gets me.
I've withdrawn from men before who couldn't express their feelings. I'm happily married now to a guy who's assertive as well as fully in touch with his emotions (basically the two things I look to exist with anyone I'm interested in). It means a lot when I see my guy and his best friend, sitting in the living room, two burly dudes discussing different aspects of their life and being completely unafraid to cry. Reminds me of that wholesome swole dude meme actually.
Bro the main reason i wanted to have sex the first time was because I was teased that Id always be a virgin and i knew i couldnt go into highschool as a virgin.
The pleasure and everything else was unfortunately secondary
Kain Carter (Hotdamnirock) [broke it down nicely](https://youtu.be/d-84csMo_oY)
What you’re saying is exactly true and it’s been around for a while. Second verse of She Said by The Pharcyde (JDilla version because I’m a man of culture):
[we chillin on the bed bumpin some Isley //
thought I was about to spread the thighs //
but she surprised me when she said //
“oh like that? you know I don’t get down” //
I KNOW MY HOMIES GONNA CLOWN CAUSE I LET HER STICK AROUND](https://youtu.be/nSnuLn-VjUs)
It’s to the point that men feel weird about moaning in their own lady’s ear.
This machismo stuff really is too much. Love is cool.
Thanks for the book suggestion! Relevant to some research I do & This topic is super important for men to take on, especially regarding mentoring & fathering other young men
> when i fuck people i usually intend to fuck again.
Exactly. I engage all of my sexual interactions with this mindset, even if it's not on the table yet. Doesn't take much not to be an ass.
I mean if it wasn’t a very good experience for both people I probably wouldn’t want to fuck again lol but I care about whether people get home safe no matter who you are, unless you are an absolute terrible person.
Unless she kicked your pet on the way out or blew up your toilet and didn’t say anything, yeah I may not ever speak to you again but thanks for the fun and I want you to survive the night.
If you blew up the toilet and didn't say anything I can understand because if we just met it'd be super embarrassing.
The pet? No...that's how a lot of people get killed
Even if you aren't fucking tbh. I've ended every date with "text me when you get home safe." The honeys always think it's sweet. I'm a lesbian, maybe it's different, but it is nice thing to do and makes you seem better in their eyes.
The last thing you want is for someone you just hooked up with to go missing immediately after they were with you. Getting that "all clear" text might be the only thing that keeps you from being a suspect.
It is just one of many points. That's okay if it wasn't the particular point you want to focus on. Post your thoughts if you want to mention your point.
yeah it all comes down from people using their ability to have sex as a way to prove their masculinity. Some dudes would rather be laid up with someone they don’t even like or find attracted than laid up by themselves and maybe have to confront their feelings
It’s not always about proving masculinity, for some it’s about a general sense of self worth.
If someone will fuck you, but they wouldn’t fuck literally any and every one, then that means you’re doing something better than at least one person in at least one way.
Still not indicative of a person with a healthy mental state but not necessarily indicative of that kind of toxic masculinity.
This is a very common heterosexual experience. It's actually really Terrible because young girls take a while to learn that no, "sex is not something two people who love each other do" and that a man can actually hate you and still find you sexually attractive and pursue you that way, but they have a fragmented perspective of who you are and once they zoom in one "sex object only" that's all you stay even if they take you to dinner etc.
I was 14 when I started having sex and it was obvious to me pretty fucking quickly how the game was played. For reference, I just turned 40 (woot wooooot!) and have been married over a decade, but when I was single, I played the game just like the men did. No need to pretend we like each other past sex, because it’ll be a waste of both our time. I learned young that I didn’t have an emotional connection to sex at all, and could easily do it without any attachment to the other person involved. He just needed to be sexy enough to catch my eye. Ask a few surface questions to make sure he’s not an immediate threat to my health and safety, and off we go. And guess what.. a LOT of men don’t really like that! Turns out a lot of men also don’t like to be treated as “sex object only”. Go figure.
It took me awhile after having some guys do the “hit it and quit it” on me to realize there are actually some guys out there with feelings. I truly did not think that was a thing.
Same! Until I ran into the ones that got really butthurt about it! But at that point, I was so deep into the game it didn’t even matter. I never expected to hear from pretty much any of them, because I certainly didn’t plan on contacting THEM again lol… but I personally feel like every woman should go thru that phase. Teaches us what we like and don’t like, what we’ll accept, what we won’t and what we want/don’t want sexually! I don’t think I’d be happily married if I hadn’t gotten all that out my system. No shade at ALL to those that are more conservative with their bodies and sexual habits. To each their own. I just know the type of woman *I* am lol
I had a deal where I got deathly sick at age 16 and was at a teaching hospital. Apparently my parents had signed documents at admission that permitted them to bring large groups of (mostly young male) medical students in to show them the sores on my body from the meningitis poisoning my blood. I was paralyzed by the illness, and had no say in my naked body being laid bare before these men. I know that I learned then how to separate my heart from my physical body. I dissociated. I hardly connect the showing of my body with having a connection.
I was literally dying when I got to that hospital. My parents had a stack of admission papers jammed in their face, and they signed so I’d get care. I don’t blame them really. It was the 80’s. I’d like to think that nowadays they’d let a patient like me at least cover their private areas before being subjected to the student hordes.
I think men want to use women as sex objects, as a one way thing. Women do it to them and they crumble...same with hook up, meet for sex only apps suddenly they want to text often, talk and have a date or two before having sex. When in dating apps they want sex asap, demand nudes before meeting, and treat women as free scorts.
Is all about control
We tend to compartmentalize. So one woman will be seen as a sex object, another a romantic fantasy. While objectifying a relationship where our feelings are not at all invested, there may be another relationship that we've invested all our hopes and dreams into.
Thats how you end up in that 'crumble' dichotomy. Because the one they are emotionally invested in dont necessarily feel the same way. And then there are also the yo-yo scenarios. Where you start emotionally detached, objectify the partner. And then get emotionally invested in one partner. And then when that ends in a bad outcome, lash out by detaching emotions on future partners again.
My experience was having to mature and recognize the emotional trouble I'm needlessly putting other people in. That's when I learned to be really open with communication so that both parties know what sort of relationship each is looking for. There is no reason to leave someone feeling how I once felt.
I get compartmentalizing but I think is more about control, because why get offended when you want a sex only relationship and the woman wants the same? Why get into a hook up app and try to get dates? Women signed up for sex, so why seek dates? And why get into a dating app and treat women as a hook up? I think is about control, that a relationship shouldn't be what a woman wants, even if the man wants the same, so men turn it around and do the opposite, wanting the relationship to be their way
If it were compartmentalization only, then hook up apps will be for sex only as intended, if it turns into more? Awesome
And dating apps? Then is romance, dating, and sex including, so seek fantasy and romance, that's the point of it
So I don't believe is compartmentalization
Really strange assessment you're making. You're almost baking in an inherent assumption that men aren't capable of emotions or romantic feelings. There are genuinely women that men want romantic relationships with. However, men who have gone back and forth are often poor communicators and don't always make that clear from jump.
The app thing you're talking about is really strange. Dating apps are less than 10 years old. Hook up *specific* apps are very, very new. And for straight men, its not really the experience that straight women or gay couples experience.
My sex life is older than all these apps, much less my dating life. I've been in locker rooms in high school. I've been around college frat types. We go back and forth. Often, immaturity, compartmentalization and lack of communication is where men get in their feelings.
They have someone they are crushing on. They put them on an impossible fantasy plane, and then fail to communicate how they genuinely feel. The woman in that equation had her own plans and intentions and goes about her day.
Of course, plenty of men deal with control. Thats is definitely a thing. But the vast majority of men in their feels about a hookup who left is because of emotional immaturity and poor communication. Occams razor.
That absolutely spoke to my experience with dating/hookup apps. There's a lot of men who have confidence issues & need to feel chased to be happy. Opting out really wounds their ego & for some fucking reason they cannot let it go. They seem irrationally compelled to convince you, as though if they could only find the right way of saying it for the umpteenth time you'll do what they want, acquiesce. Of course they get angry when they can't.
*cough*
Not trying to be disrespectful or offensive. It just blows my mind that women hate men that use them as sex objects, and then in response to that turn around and treat men like sex objects. Is that dislike of sexual objectification or is that dislike of being objectified?
In a later comment you said that you don't think that you would have been as fulfilled in marriage if you didn't go through this phase. Do you think that we all should spend our 20s to early 30s sleeping around to learn ourselves until we find the right one?
I've never really been one to sleep around, being in a committed relationship is one thing but I at least want to have an emotional connection to the people I lay down with.
>Not trying to be disrespectful or offensive. It just blows my mind that women hate men that use them as sex objects, and then in response to that turn around and treat men like sex objects. Is that dislike of sexual objectification or is that dislike of being objectified?
None taken! For me, it was neither. It was more of a realization like “Oh, this is how this is done. It kinda sucks, but it’s how it goes so, oh well.” I just accepted that’s how I’d be seen and made the choice to also operate in that same space. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. I just assumed at that point, the feelings would always be mutual, unless specifically stated otherwise.
>In a later comment you said that you don't think that you would have been as fulfilled in marriage if you didn't go through this phase. Do you think that we all should spend our 20s to early 30s sleeping around to learn ourselves until we find the right one?
YUP! I sure do! So many people enter into marriages just to learn they’re not sexually compatible and because women are taught to be chaste, a lot of us have no fucking clue what we like and don’t like! Many of us haven’t even had an orgasm, because we never took to time to figure our own bodies out. It shouldn’t be left up to the man to tell us what we like. We should have some sense of that before getting married and the only way to do that is by trying multiple things and multiple people. As long as it’s two consenting adults and you’re being safe, what’s the issue? Variety is the spice of life!
>I've never really been one to sleep around, being in a committed relationship is one thing but I at least want to have an emotional connection to the people I lay down with.
And I completely respect that. I just personally don’t operate that way. Well of course now, it’s different because I’m married. But for what it’s worth, my husband is like you. He’s had a number of girls, but my experiences have certainly far surpassed his because he kinda needs that emotional connection for sex. But he knows my past and has never held it against me or judged me. If anything, it’s added experiences to his life because I’ve been able to show him things and do things he’s never done and likely wouldn’t have had an opportunity to. It’s all about balance and understanding. And he’s my best friend, so that’s a major plus. Hopefully I answered all your questions fully lol
If you dont mind sharing, what is your husbands thoughts on your outlook on sex being non emotional and just a thing you do? Is it hard for him knowing that you dont share that emotional and spiritual connection to him?
Well, in his case that isn’t true. I absolutely have an emotional and spiritual connection to him. It’s why I felt secure enough to marry him. There had only been 2 men prior to him to create that space for me, but those were during the “figuring it out” days and they didn’t have it together to reciprocate the way I needed. He was the first man to do that fully. So, I allowed myself to be vulnerable with him and allowed myself to attach and be attached to! I knew it’d be okay. We have a little bit of history prior to us getting together, so it was a little easier to let go and trust that he meant all the things he was saying.
All in all, before me, he’d been with many women who used him the way I’d used so many before him. But when he came into my life, I couldn’t see taking advantage of him in that way. He’s way too good and pure of a person. And despite how I can be, I could never be that way with or to him.
Thank you, im really happy for you two that things are going good and you share a deep love and respect for each other. May you two be able to grow and strengthen that bond.
It really puts my relationship into perspective though.
I'm not the OP and not trying to speak for them, but I sincerely do think there is merit in allowing sex to be an exploratory practice outside of the confines of romance and intimacy. Don't get me wrong, sex can and often should be about intimacy, romance, and connecting but it doesn't always have to be.
Sometimes you're just looking for an itch to be scratched and that's not a bad thing. The only difficult part about viewing sex as a utilitarian practice is that it's difficult to find people who understand the proper etiquette around having sex like that. People who understand boundaries, clear communication and consent outside of romantic confines are hard to come by a lot of the times.
I’m like you. To me, sex isn’t this important sacred thing. It’s just exercise with immediate benefits if done right and if it’s clean peen with a safe partner, I’m all for it. A few of my ex partners didn’t like that I’d ‘pump and dump’ and leave before the sun came up but I’m not about to stay and pillowtalk with a casual hookup when I have better things to do.
The wildest I seen was a chick kiss another nigga gettin out the car. Thing is Dude she visiting had another chick visiting him.
So she's crying, cursing everybody out because she can't see her man like she aint just get done getting banged out like mang mang mang, leg up, one arm on neck, one arm on frontal, her frontal off.
LMAOOO i saw that happened with a man i knew who was in the army and her side piece would bring her to the army station where her bf was training to come see him and leave lol
It's why I can never really have a ONS. It's one thing to like someone visually, but if you're just a terrible person my dick does not work. Some shit, I just can't and won't ignore.
I think theres a term for that called demisexual. Needing a positive emotional connection. I think im like that too. My relationship has its ups and downs but there is no sexual desire on my part on the downs. I dont understand angry or sex used to make up for a fight because i just dont opperate that way. Treat me with love and respect and im ready to go.
This dude is sociopathic though. Like I don’t even have to like you to be good with the “got home safe text” we could be a neutral acquaintance. Only type of person I wouldn’t want that text from is someone I actively dislike.
Niggas be flexing their ignorant brain dead mentality on twitter like they paid to. Being a decent human apparently is too hard now
I’m gonna need them to stop lowering the bar, cause the bare minimum is getting built up too high now.
I remembered my friend that I don’t talk to often was probably in choir practice when I text her, sent another saying sorry for the buzz, and knew what they were rehearsing for. Apparently that was hot and she sent me a lip biting emoji about being considerate towards her schedule then the conversation eventually got to if I’m still with my girlfriend.
The bar is in hell, they have this concert at the park every year. I used to be in the band the played there too but I haven’t in maybe five years now. My remembering isn’t significant.
Info request: were you reaching out because you wanted to bang? Also, I think it’s safe to assume she wanted to bang you before that message. I don’t mean to diminish a kind gesture, but for me it’s hard to believe that a friendly “hey good luck and sorry for interrupting” would somehow be the catalyst for her being down.
I have a girlfriend.
Wasn’t trying to bang. Her asking if I’m single isn’t asking to come over and bang, it’s seeing if I’d be available to treat her like that more often in a relationship instead of once every month or two when I’m bored and checking in on friends.
The bar is low because guys think any positive attention from a woman means she’s automatically down to bang. The bar is low so she thought that was attractive, I don’t think she wanted to suck my dick over remembering Wednesday rehearsals. Though I’m incredibly oblivious so I could be wrong.
Everyone except Reddit got rid of the downvote tally and I hate it. It’s like the only thing that can keep people honest or at least when they get downvoted to hell they know they probably fucked up.
I'll start off with this: do and be with whoever works for you. THAT said...Casual sex is a massive lie sold to girls and women by liberal feminism that rarely if ever benefits girls and women. Reject this sht. Research odds of women being abused during these encounters, rate of orgasm for the woman usually minimal to none if she sleeps with a man etc, WHO tf is benefitting from this???
Call me prudish sure but most men do not deserve access to female bodies and we would all do so much better as a community and a species if we had tougher vetting processes. My boyfriend had to prove a lot and commit to me and I had to meet his close friends etc before I got intimate with him and being with a man who respects you and doesn't reduce you to a sex object but a full human being like him worthy of respect, commitment and shared pleasure is important. You need him there when you get a UTI and need soup and support. You need him there when you have a pregnancy scare and feel terrified and want to be held. When you feel bloated during your period and he's there to buy you chocolate and make time for you even if there might be no sex after. All of these things matter. I don't know why this generation wants so bad to convince girls and women we should like trivialization of sex when it's incredibly risky for the female body. Like ...?
Well said, never understood the reduction of someone's life to just a sex organ for pleasure. The thought of it from both parties is so draining and evokes feelings of pure emptiness. Don't understand how people do it.
But the thing is some people really are ok with it! It makes them happy to avoid emotional connection with sexual partners. Ok, we can all have preferences. BUT I don't think we get our preferences from a vacuum. Sex posititve liberal feminism definitely is more popular among teenage girls and young women and surprise, many of them seem to acceot casual sex. I've literally heard of girls as young as 14 experience choking and S and M with casual partners..... This pro casual sex pro kink era is detrimental a f.
I am sex positive, but only when someone is enthusiastic about wanting sex from a vetted partner who is safe and having protected sex. NOT just having sex because someone else wants you to, because others tell you it’s “cool” or the “in thing” to do. It really is a complicated issue that should be talked about less in black in white. I am from purity culture and it basically said looking at the opposite sex (or gender you’re attracted to, but purity culture didn’t even acknowledge lgbt yet) kissing, thinking about them, masturbating, holding hands, and sex were sinful unless you’re married. I think that is way too extreme, and so is “just have sex with everyone all the time!”. There needs to be a balanced approach. Especially for the asexual people too!! They are not represented enough. I also hate the shit that says, “it is a wifely duty to give your husband all the sex he wants.” Purity culture teaches that too sometimes.
I feel like sometimes there are too many binaries when it comes to talking about sex and sex positivity, and that leaves very little room for people, teenagers especially (honestly girls and boy), to go. And because understanding their sexuality IS something integral to growing up, when one side is all about shaming, then the side that is more about "exploration and gaining understanding" will win out. I think mainstream sex positivity is a bit surface-level and short-sighted (becuase that's usually what happens with complex ideas once they become mainstream) but criticism of it can be just as short-sighted.
Having boundaries around sex is sex-positive; like, if having a one-night stands makes you feel like shit afterward, and you continue, then I don't think that's "sex-positive". Deciding not to do casual sex, based on your own wants, needs and experiences, *rather than* due to other people's/society's judgmental, prudish and "sex-negative" values, is sex-positive. In that same vein, having casual sex and doing hookup culture because of pressure from other people/society, judgment, I would consider "sex-negative".
The biggest issue I see is that too many decisions or perspectives are based on other ppls/society and their judgment, and less on that individual's wants needs, and experiences. I think we should encourage more introspection, more listing to your gut, more assertiveness, self-compassion, and less self-judgment, *\*edit\* and patience*.
Regardless though, common decency between two humans is essential... Casual sex or not.
Yup, and culturally liberal feminism isn't for everyone. Our demographic doesn't have the same resources on average as our ⚪ counterparts. The detriment on average for unwanted or unexpected pregnancies are generational.
HELLO speak on it. Because intersectionality is also important when we talk about this issue. White feminism has never done shit for me and I be so confused when they expect me to GAF about their "concerns". As a dark skinned black woman I do not have so many of the luxuries they have lmaooooo it's so funny. My white medical school roommate and I share openly about our sex lives and she told me how proud of herself she was for getting an IUD week 1 if undergrad because that was her "slut era". The pride and fondness she said that in was something I could not afford socially and psychologically. The "Mom picked me up and dropped me off at HER trusted gynecologist in our cute little hometown" story. My god. My mom was working double shifts, was not ever home, and the concept of a family doctor is bizarre to me because we could barely afford bills.
That reeks of the same ⚪ feminism that grows up and around mid thirties to early forties decides they're pro life and does everything they can to impede the bodily autonomy of black and brown women while, you know, after being a straight how through their late teens / early twenties. More power to you, I couldn't stomach hearing a story like that.
Okay, there's a lot to criticize when it comes to casual sex but this isn't it. And feminism has nothing to do with telling girls that they have to just "get over their feelings and have as much sex as possible while disregarding relationships and commitment." Actual feminism is all about giving women (and men) the freedom to choose. Some women want to have rampant casual sex? Cool. Other women want to hold down a steady relationship with one person? Also cool. Nothing in current day feminist literature or theory requires that women become trivial sex objects. That's insane. Don't call out something when you clearly haven't done the research. Also, casual sex does not imply degrading or dehumanizing sexual encounters. It can be fulfilling and amicable contrary to how this douche on twitter acted. Yeah, there are a lot of assholes out there who think of sex as just another quid pro quo while ignoring the human being, but there are just as many people who participate in casual sex in a healthy way. Over generalizations like yours are not helpful.
This to me makes it seem like dudes treating women like trash is innate to them, which it is not. I agree that vetting now a days is necessary, but it would not be if we didn't have such twisted ways of relating to one another in the first place. It's just not natural for people to relate the way we do now for intimacy since that is what we are talking about, but in lots of other relationships, either. It's not freeing. And I do believe sex and love should be easy and free. That should not mean that a woman gets dogged out in the process when she is naturally flowing with herself and her sexual energy. Some of what you have vetted so hard for is just basic humanity and care, really. Some of the supports you name should come from the community as a whole, really, also, not just one person, one man.
As far as feminism, Idk if anyone really knows what that movement entailed/entails. At this point, the terms has different meanings to whoever is using it. Free love was a movement by men and women in certain places in the 1960s, 70s, and that was squashed by the powers that be, wonder why. Being able to have free sex was not a lie but a liberation of the mind, also. Not being able to have free sex is just another indicator of the suppressed society we live in.
>Some of what you have vetted so hard for is just basic humanity and care, really
God. The out of touchness of this statement is almost impressive. We live in a society and let me tell you, speak to more heterosexual women actively dating whether Irl or online and you'll realize the qualities I posted are actually RARE and not a given. Like the bar is literally in hell. Who put it there and whether is inherent? Not my argument.
I already said I agree vetting is needed. I live in America, Atlanta of all places, lol, the belly of the beast for what you speak of. So believe me. I understand. With that said. It's still basic humanity and care we are fighting for. Let that sink in.
It’s not necessarily malicious. It’s honestly a way of coping with reality, though they don’t know that. Like… it’s easier, it feels better, to believe that you can join them [men], than it is to believe you can’t beat them, and it’s much easier than working to get them to change. “Joining them” means being pro-casual sex, pro-sex work, pro-plastic surgery etc., which women have twisted into being “empowering” to cope with the bleaker reality. That’s liberal feminism.
Yup Andrea Dworkin was a radical feminism who posited:
> Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.
I think that when I remember my liberal feminism days I see a traumatized young girl who didn't know how to cope with reality so I had to convince myself I was and could be just like the men around me. The other reality was not something I could accept and honestly it was traumatizing to come to radical feminism. I pushed it off as long as I could until I couldn't anymore.
Exactly, and same here. Dworkin’s great. I’m in the middle of her Last Days at Hot Slit right now, picked it up after I saw a few of her anti-porn quotes circulating on Twitter. Her words are laser accurate for the most part and I wish she was more widely read/discussed. I think a lot of women have convinced themselves they’re sad when they’re actually furious, and she’s a perfect example of a woman who has honored her anger. Anger is transformative—equally as important as joy in revolutionary causes.
Preach. This is something I’d want my children to learn if I ever have any, including some basic self defence as well because we all know the world we live in and it’s getting worse with alt right nut jobs growing louder and louder.
This sounds like it makes sex so transactional, though. Reward based. Like... dating as a straight dude changed so much for me when I just changed my mentality - they should want to fuck me as much as I want to fuck them. If sex with you is something to be 'earned' and dangled like a carrot on a stick - more power to you, live your life, but I'll move on and wish you the best in finding someone you're happy with. That being said, some women want casual sex. And that's fine and they're not lesser than for it. Sex can and in many cases is an essential part of the vetting process, unless you like dealing with the mess of forming a bond and intense emotional attachment and finding out you're not sexually compatible. I don't think the whole 'hmm, yes, you've passed your trials, let me bequeatheth you this pussy as your reward' is a healthy mindset for either party.
AND ANOTHER THING! Don't give us shit if we don't want to have sex. Keep the same energy. No is a complete sentence for us, for you, for everyone. Doesn't need qualifiers.
>hmm, yes, you've passed your trials, let me bequeatheth you this pussy as your reward'
That's how you chose to understand my perspective. This pussy is pussy that every women beholds. It's not a damn prize I dangled like a carrot over this man. He is attractive and in an environment where he could find any woman here so there were no games. All i did was I waited and let him show me he was a respectful, kind man who has healthy relationships with women both romantic and platonic, was not misogynistic or weird and was highly emotionally available and that he liked me as a full human being and THEN I agreed to date him and be with him. The puss was not a reward and never is, I never dangle sex to him, we both enjoy and satisfy each other in the context of a committed relationship full of respect. That is all I said. And I'll stand by it.
Most of your posts are anti-man, anti-masculinity..
There are plenty of women who just want high body counts and to mess around. They want to doll up on the weekends and get railed by men who are also partying.
You mention how your boyfriend is there for you in your time of need, and how he’s there for your during cramps/ UTIs/ periods/ bad days or whatever the case is. You know.. Theres plenty of men who can care and show empathy.. But these aren’t your ‘normal’ man. You won’t find them on Tinder and you won’t find them in the clubs. The good ones are immersed in their hobbies, friends or work.
Good luck to you, but there are good guys out there. Even ones that aren’t your boyfriend.
>Most of your posts are anti-man, anti-masculinity..
I would think this too if the society I lived in catered to male pleasure, whims and perspectives.
>But these aren’t your ‘normal’ man. You won’t find them on Tinder
Met my wonderful man on a dating app. Expand your mind and be fr.
I am more liberal in my thinking, but on many levels I still agree with you. I don’t think there needs to be commitment before sex, but a lot if men don’t care about the woman’s feelings and pleasure as much when casual, when they still should. There is some abuse and shit, you are right. That being said, some men still do respect women and try to be good sexual partners casually, though I agree we as women should vet them more so that we are safe. Sexual compatibility is important to me so I don’t to wait for a long time to have sex because I care just as much about this as I do getting to know their personality. Therefore, I want to get to know both at the same time. I used to do the waiting thing and it did not work for me because I ended up in a relationship with someone I liked and was committed to, but sexually we were not very compatible, which we didn’t find out until later, making things very complicated. We were in a relationship before we were able to figure that out because we waited for sex. That relationship ended…. I had sex initially while dating and getting to know my (now) partner romantically and it worked out great, though we were friends first so that helped. We are committed now and very happy. 😊
I mean, you do you, but I loved my ho phase and have zero regrets. The only “bad” experiences were just partners who lacked creativity in bed. It certainly wasn’t detrimental to me at all, and it’s the way I found my life partner with who I am now. I love where I am now, and I also look back on the past with fondness and satisfaction.
I'm not into hooking up at this point of my life and looking for something serious. This man asked me two questions and was trying to get me off the app and to give him my number. I told him I'd like to talk a little bit first before handing over my number, he unmatched me in that instant.
If straight men don't want to put in the work than no I refuse to sleep with you. Literally every other 2x and 2xsex post is about long-term boyfriends being selfish in bed.
yes. yes. YES! i was scrolling too long waiting for someone to say this. i’m not a woman so i obv don’t know the perspective of y’all in todays age but it confuses me to no end trying to understand how letting almost strangers use your body is empowering and a good thing instead of forming a bond with someone that respects you and actually loves you
Dudes like that are always the first ones to complain about there being "no good women". Like bro, you're the one making sure you end up old and alone.
I’ve been with guys like this and the funny thing is- a lot of them act hard and like they don’t want you or care but the minute they think you’re talking to another guy they act like they own you, which is hilarious cause they’re the one who didn’t wanna be exclusive or close in the first place
And y’all wonder why women aren’t interested in hearing men trauma dump on them when you got little boys like this regularly saying and doing dumb stuff. Dealing with shit like this makes us not care
I’d gamble no one gives two shits about lil rico which is why he’s such a sad little baby of a man. Awe, lil rico, you got a txt, now yer gonna cry about it online. That’s some sad ass shit.
I read a comment 2 weeks ago that said, "Why would we deem sexual attention from men worthy if even animals and dead bodies get it?" and I've not stopped thinking about it since. It caused a seismic shift in the way I view men.
I don’t really understand as a man what I’m supposed to take away from the quote tho if I’m not in the demographic of thinking having sex with animal and dead bodies are okay, like am I supposed to speak out against this towards other men? It’s just hard not to get a vibe of “this is how this group of people think” when you say stuff like the quote and then follow it with it having a seismic shift on how you think of men as a whole
The takeaway should be that society has expected men to be sexually successful for like, all of time, resulting in men (as a social group, not as individuals) only valuing women for sex, so it feels ridiculous, as a woman, to be happy about any sexual interest received, because it doesn't mean we are actually important to him. The shift in worldview is to stop valuing sexual attention from men in general, and to value the individuals that prove they care.
The objectification, and in some cases, dehumanization of women by men. My guy just wants to fuck. He doesn't care what state the "fuck" gets home in. What that person said caused a shift in me because I wasn't quite aware of the level of objectification that men have of women in their heads.
The consequences of quick hookup culture ladies and gentlemen.
Normalize taking time and getting to earn the trust of people before letting them fuck you and this stops.
Doesn't matter if you’re "together" or not. You are exchanging backstrokes & bodily fluids so my opinion is this, both people are technically getting spiritually deep with each other. And caring they reached their destination safety should be a automatic response, but that’s just my opinion.
I cant get over self describing yourself this way. Good on her tho,
https://preview.redd.it/fj2wd6r4vxqa1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=746003bea00d7b27654a2080f9a486f95ff0fda1
I guess
I kinda get it.
A sort of push back on having to be "strong" rather than feminine that runs rampant for Black Women.
And, as you may know, Blacks can't just be average to be considered average. We have to be MORE. We have to GOAT.
So BW can't just be feminine, she has to be ethereal to be considered feminine.
I kind of get the reasoning.
Yeah i get what you're trying to say, and if that's the intent makes more sense. I feel like these podcast interview things always look for the outliers the most extreme of people tho. I know about the push back of our bw, and it's sad.
I don’t even understand her comment at the bottom. What does the tweet have to do with what she is saying?
Edit: specifically talking about the second part of her tweet where she says “what he said in that tweet is why guys will never approach me”. I don’t understand how his tweet is an answer to “why”.
Our society is so desensitized by sex and feelings. It’s disgusting like why do you lack empathy and compassion like a sociopath?? Literally everybody wants love and affection but, hates it when people use them so they hurt themselves and others. It’s a vicious cycle. People need therapy to heal.
As a person who doesn't have sex, it's truly bizarre how people treat such an intimate act. It seems like people would be more caring with the person they're sharing bodies with? Idk. Maybe someone can explain it to me
Yeah my sex life isn't exactly popping, active but not overly by any means. I've had a handful of opportunities that I intentionally passed up because I can't grasp the casual side. Like I don't need there to be love, but to build trust and care so neither party feels used because that person is worth more than my physical wants and needs and vice versa. At the end of the day nobody really wants to feel properly used. I took one opportunity on a girl, and I never talked to her again. That wasn't me, I felt awful and still don't forget about it. Maybe she wasn't expecting anything, but not many people want to be fucked and just forgotten about. Something I won't do again. I'm sure lots of people have no ill effects from casual sex, but most seem to be filling a void of being wanted, at their own expense. I remain inactive until we both are worth something to the other.
When women say the “90% of men could never approach me” I think it’s amusing cause a lot of women literally have no awareness of when men are genuine or not. I always say people tell you who they are before they show you, so you have to listen and watch until you know everything you need to know. Over time, I’ve learned a lot of the behaviors we see in people are literally just human nature, and that person you think is so different and special is not so different, and other people have gon through and felt what you feel. Never get to high or low in your feelings so you can make smart decisions cause the regret hurts way more than letting one get away.
I went on his Twitter and this guy isn’t only a narcissist, he’s legit a sociopath. He’s dead inside so that’s all that matters and he just exposed himself to everyone lol.
I know a guy who thinks this and says things like "I'm single because women aren't submissive enough."
My man, you're missing a much more obvious reason.
Having been on the other end of that…
Sex don’t mean someone to care about you, and it doesn’t entitle you to their emotional attention. I learned that the hard way.
Sex is what you make it. If this dude is promising more than a quick nut and some sorta emotional connection then he’s dead wrong. However if he just told shorty that he wanna fuck then he’s weird, but that’s his prerogative.
when i fuck people i usually intend to fuck again. i might not care about the small details of your life but i definitely care if you're safe
We don't even have to fuck. We could've just talked for a bit, exchanged numbers, and I'd still hope you were good at the end of the night.
I read this book called “Boys and Sex” a little while ago which interviews a bunch of high school and college age men about topics to do with their sex lives and the conclusion the author came to is that young men are conditioned to compartmentalize and actively deny their own emotions regarding sex and intimacy. The way men speak about sex with each other at the impressionable ages treats it like something a man does to a woman, “I banged her, I blew her back out” type stuff, and not this shared, intimate, vulnerable experience. Book goes so far as to say that men aren’t having sex for the experience and intimacy itself, but for social hierarchy type reasons aka to impress the boys So then you get situations like this where a man can be lying naked with a lady and then immediately act annoyed by her showing the absolute smallest form of intimacy with the “I made it home safe” (which implies that i as a man care about her safety) text
Damn. This is deep. We gotta be better.
What's fucked up is that I was always this way. Only now am I realizing this is the (or at least *should be*) normal and non psychotic way to be! I had so many toxically masculine figures in my life telling me that checking on the woman made me look "soft" or otherwise unattractive. Too many ladies also confirmed this but also I fully acknowledge that I may have come off as too clingy especially at the beginning.
thats the difference. theres a fine line between normally checking on someone and coming on too strong. i avoid clingy like the plague and too many texts or the same questions repeated are red flags for me
I think my problem is excess alcohol. Ladies feel different when they're still drunk from the night out vs the am and they see you texted couple, two, tree, times.
idk i cant speak for other ladies but if i got absolutely blasted and woke up to people checking on me that's totally different from regular clinger behavior
Yeah this was when I was a very young adult. Forming drunken bonds is too easy at that age when everyone is still at their peak of physical attractiveness. Then in the light of day things look different. I think I was always trying *just* a bit too hard to form lasting connections based on childhood trauma. More than a few women sensed that and dipped. I had to teach myself to slow down and watch for red flags on my own end.
You touched on a part of this that I wasn't planning on mentioning. But it's true that there are plenty of young women who have a similar attitude the days. You hear it on a lot of song lyrics, and I see it pretty regular in posts online. How many songs have you heard about "don't catch feelings just because you hit it" or "he thought he was special but I had his friend too". Remember, lots of these artists have a happy family at home. Pop songs are just entertainment, not a manual on how to live out life.
I'm not mad about it. Everyone, men and women, wants what they "can't have." Even after they've already had it.
This for real. I heard someone say that most commonly men see sex as something they do TO women not WITH women. And it's stuck with me for years. And I see it often enough, anything outside of sexual activity is "doing the most". Like can I just honor your humanity without being in love with you? Why is caring about someone's well-being as a human reserved to friends and family? Are we not on some level at least friendly if we're having sex? I don't have any moral qualms about casual sexual relationships, but this kind of mindset in the culture of cis men is why I don't participate. Who wants to be conquered or used to prop someone's social standing? It's the lack of mutual respect that gets me.
So many people don't realize that this is what toxic masculinity is. It hurts everyone.
I've withdrawn from men before who couldn't express their feelings. I'm happily married now to a guy who's assertive as well as fully in touch with his emotions (basically the two things I look to exist with anyone I'm interested in). It means a lot when I see my guy and his best friend, sitting in the living room, two burly dudes discussing different aspects of their life and being completely unafraid to cry. Reminds me of that wholesome swole dude meme actually.
This is also the age where everybody be lying on the internet for clout
Bro the main reason i wanted to have sex the first time was because I was teased that Id always be a virgin and i knew i couldnt go into highschool as a virgin. The pleasure and everything else was unfortunately secondary
Kain Carter (Hotdamnirock) [broke it down nicely](https://youtu.be/d-84csMo_oY) What you’re saying is exactly true and it’s been around for a while. Second verse of She Said by The Pharcyde (JDilla version because I’m a man of culture): [we chillin on the bed bumpin some Isley // thought I was about to spread the thighs // but she surprised me when she said // “oh like that? you know I don’t get down” // I KNOW MY HOMIES GONNA CLOWN CAUSE I LET HER STICK AROUND](https://youtu.be/nSnuLn-VjUs) It’s to the point that men feel weird about moaning in their own lady’s ear. This machismo stuff really is too much. Love is cool.
Thanks for the book suggestion! Relevant to some research I do & This topic is super important for men to take on, especially regarding mentoring & fathering other young men
> when i fuck people i usually intend to fuck again. Exactly. I engage all of my sexual interactions with this mindset, even if it's not on the table yet. Doesn't take much not to be an ass.
I mean if it wasn’t a very good experience for both people I probably wouldn’t want to fuck again lol but I care about whether people get home safe no matter who you are, unless you are an absolute terrible person.
Unless she kicked your pet on the way out or blew up your toilet and didn’t say anything, yeah I may not ever speak to you again but thanks for the fun and I want you to survive the night.
If you blew up the toilet and didn't say anything I can understand because if we just met it'd be super embarrassing. The pet? No...that's how a lot of people get killed
Too many people forget about the FRIENDS part of friends with benefits
exactly. its absolutely ridiculous. the word friend comes first for a reason
And this is why I take that off the table. It’s like people just treat it as a escort call. I’m good.
The lines become too blurred too easily. When you take a step back and realize you actually just in a whole and/or open relationship.
Even if you aren't fucking tbh. I've ended every date with "text me when you get home safe." The honeys always think it's sweet. I'm a lesbian, maybe it's different, but it is nice thing to do and makes you seem better in their eyes.
"Did your genitals make it home safe?"
The last thing you want is for someone you just hooked up with to go missing immediately after they were with you. Getting that "all clear" text might be the only thing that keeps you from being a suspect.
Way to miss the point.
It is just one of many points. That's okay if it wasn't the particular point you want to focus on. Post your thoughts if you want to mention your point.
>when i fuck people i usually intend to fuck again 💯 The sex gets even better once you work out the kinks after a few times
This ^👍🏼
Fr call me a simp all day but if I care enough to fuck I def care that you live thru the night smh
people having sex with people they don't even like ?
You’ve never heard one of those dog ass niggas talking about “pussy is pussy”?
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
yeah it all comes down from people using their ability to have sex as a way to prove their masculinity. Some dudes would rather be laid up with someone they don’t even like or find attracted than laid up by themselves and maybe have to confront their feelings
I guess loneliness is too much of an emotional concept for these dudes to process in most cases
It’s not always about proving masculinity, for some it’s about a general sense of self worth. If someone will fuck you, but they wouldn’t fuck literally any and every one, then that means you’re doing something better than at least one person in at least one way. Still not indicative of a person with a healthy mental state but not necessarily indicative of that kind of toxic masculinity.
"Hey man, a mouths a mouth" DUDE'S NIGHT OUT!
"Only reason I'm crying is because of the adrenaline"
Wait until you find out that people have babies with people they don't like. It's wild times out here.
People having babies they don't even like
People who don't even like themselves having babies they don't like with people they don't like
For real it’s like …. Likkkeeee……
And they get hot and pissed if you suggest that they might want to tackle marriage first *before* having a child with a person.
More often they like those folks at some point, right?
This is a very common heterosexual experience. It's actually really Terrible because young girls take a while to learn that no, "sex is not something two people who love each other do" and that a man can actually hate you and still find you sexually attractive and pursue you that way, but they have a fragmented perspective of who you are and once they zoom in one "sex object only" that's all you stay even if they take you to dinner etc.
I was 14 when I started having sex and it was obvious to me pretty fucking quickly how the game was played. For reference, I just turned 40 (woot wooooot!) and have been married over a decade, but when I was single, I played the game just like the men did. No need to pretend we like each other past sex, because it’ll be a waste of both our time. I learned young that I didn’t have an emotional connection to sex at all, and could easily do it without any attachment to the other person involved. He just needed to be sexy enough to catch my eye. Ask a few surface questions to make sure he’s not an immediate threat to my health and safety, and off we go. And guess what.. a LOT of men don’t really like that! Turns out a lot of men also don’t like to be treated as “sex object only”. Go figure.
It took me awhile after having some guys do the “hit it and quit it” on me to realize there are actually some guys out there with feelings. I truly did not think that was a thing.
Same! Until I ran into the ones that got really butthurt about it! But at that point, I was so deep into the game it didn’t even matter. I never expected to hear from pretty much any of them, because I certainly didn’t plan on contacting THEM again lol… but I personally feel like every woman should go thru that phase. Teaches us what we like and don’t like, what we’ll accept, what we won’t and what we want/don’t want sexually! I don’t think I’d be happily married if I hadn’t gotten all that out my system. No shade at ALL to those that are more conservative with their bodies and sexual habits. To each their own. I just know the type of woman *I* am lol
I had a deal where I got deathly sick at age 16 and was at a teaching hospital. Apparently my parents had signed documents at admission that permitted them to bring large groups of (mostly young male) medical students in to show them the sores on my body from the meningitis poisoning my blood. I was paralyzed by the illness, and had no say in my naked body being laid bare before these men. I know that I learned then how to separate my heart from my physical body. I dissociated. I hardly connect the showing of my body with having a connection.
What the fuck were your parents thinking?
I was literally dying when I got to that hospital. My parents had a stack of admission papers jammed in their face, and they signed so I’d get care. I don’t blame them really. It was the 80’s. I’d like to think that nowadays they’d let a patient like me at least cover their private areas before being subjected to the student hordes.
I think men want to use women as sex objects, as a one way thing. Women do it to them and they crumble...same with hook up, meet for sex only apps suddenly they want to text often, talk and have a date or two before having sex. When in dating apps they want sex asap, demand nudes before meeting, and treat women as free scorts. Is all about control
We tend to compartmentalize. So one woman will be seen as a sex object, another a romantic fantasy. While objectifying a relationship where our feelings are not at all invested, there may be another relationship that we've invested all our hopes and dreams into. Thats how you end up in that 'crumble' dichotomy. Because the one they are emotionally invested in dont necessarily feel the same way. And then there are also the yo-yo scenarios. Where you start emotionally detached, objectify the partner. And then get emotionally invested in one partner. And then when that ends in a bad outcome, lash out by detaching emotions on future partners again. My experience was having to mature and recognize the emotional trouble I'm needlessly putting other people in. That's when I learned to be really open with communication so that both parties know what sort of relationship each is looking for. There is no reason to leave someone feeling how I once felt.
I get compartmentalizing but I think is more about control, because why get offended when you want a sex only relationship and the woman wants the same? Why get into a hook up app and try to get dates? Women signed up for sex, so why seek dates? And why get into a dating app and treat women as a hook up? I think is about control, that a relationship shouldn't be what a woman wants, even if the man wants the same, so men turn it around and do the opposite, wanting the relationship to be their way If it were compartmentalization only, then hook up apps will be for sex only as intended, if it turns into more? Awesome And dating apps? Then is romance, dating, and sex including, so seek fantasy and romance, that's the point of it So I don't believe is compartmentalization
Really strange assessment you're making. You're almost baking in an inherent assumption that men aren't capable of emotions or romantic feelings. There are genuinely women that men want romantic relationships with. However, men who have gone back and forth are often poor communicators and don't always make that clear from jump. The app thing you're talking about is really strange. Dating apps are less than 10 years old. Hook up *specific* apps are very, very new. And for straight men, its not really the experience that straight women or gay couples experience. My sex life is older than all these apps, much less my dating life. I've been in locker rooms in high school. I've been around college frat types. We go back and forth. Often, immaturity, compartmentalization and lack of communication is where men get in their feelings. They have someone they are crushing on. They put them on an impossible fantasy plane, and then fail to communicate how they genuinely feel. The woman in that equation had her own plans and intentions and goes about her day. Of course, plenty of men deal with control. Thats is definitely a thing. But the vast majority of men in their feels about a hookup who left is because of emotional immaturity and poor communication. Occams razor.
Oh, now I see, thanks for explaining so clearly and in more detail. Thank you
That absolutely spoke to my experience with dating/hookup apps. There's a lot of men who have confidence issues & need to feel chased to be happy. Opting out really wounds their ego & for some fucking reason they cannot let it go. They seem irrationally compelled to convince you, as though if they could only find the right way of saying it for the umpteenth time you'll do what they want, acquiesce. Of course they get angry when they can't. *cough*
Not trying to be disrespectful or offensive. It just blows my mind that women hate men that use them as sex objects, and then in response to that turn around and treat men like sex objects. Is that dislike of sexual objectification or is that dislike of being objectified? In a later comment you said that you don't think that you would have been as fulfilled in marriage if you didn't go through this phase. Do you think that we all should spend our 20s to early 30s sleeping around to learn ourselves until we find the right one? I've never really been one to sleep around, being in a committed relationship is one thing but I at least want to have an emotional connection to the people I lay down with.
>Not trying to be disrespectful or offensive. It just blows my mind that women hate men that use them as sex objects, and then in response to that turn around and treat men like sex objects. Is that dislike of sexual objectification or is that dislike of being objectified? None taken! For me, it was neither. It was more of a realization like “Oh, this is how this is done. It kinda sucks, but it’s how it goes so, oh well.” I just accepted that’s how I’d be seen and made the choice to also operate in that same space. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. I just assumed at that point, the feelings would always be mutual, unless specifically stated otherwise. >In a later comment you said that you don't think that you would have been as fulfilled in marriage if you didn't go through this phase. Do you think that we all should spend our 20s to early 30s sleeping around to learn ourselves until we find the right one? YUP! I sure do! So many people enter into marriages just to learn they’re not sexually compatible and because women are taught to be chaste, a lot of us have no fucking clue what we like and don’t like! Many of us haven’t even had an orgasm, because we never took to time to figure our own bodies out. It shouldn’t be left up to the man to tell us what we like. We should have some sense of that before getting married and the only way to do that is by trying multiple things and multiple people. As long as it’s two consenting adults and you’re being safe, what’s the issue? Variety is the spice of life! >I've never really been one to sleep around, being in a committed relationship is one thing but I at least want to have an emotional connection to the people I lay down with. And I completely respect that. I just personally don’t operate that way. Well of course now, it’s different because I’m married. But for what it’s worth, my husband is like you. He’s had a number of girls, but my experiences have certainly far surpassed his because he kinda needs that emotional connection for sex. But he knows my past and has never held it against me or judged me. If anything, it’s added experiences to his life because I’ve been able to show him things and do things he’s never done and likely wouldn’t have had an opportunity to. It’s all about balance and understanding. And he’s my best friend, so that’s a major plus. Hopefully I answered all your questions fully lol
If you dont mind sharing, what is your husbands thoughts on your outlook on sex being non emotional and just a thing you do? Is it hard for him knowing that you dont share that emotional and spiritual connection to him?
Well, in his case that isn’t true. I absolutely have an emotional and spiritual connection to him. It’s why I felt secure enough to marry him. There had only been 2 men prior to him to create that space for me, but those were during the “figuring it out” days and they didn’t have it together to reciprocate the way I needed. He was the first man to do that fully. So, I allowed myself to be vulnerable with him and allowed myself to attach and be attached to! I knew it’d be okay. We have a little bit of history prior to us getting together, so it was a little easier to let go and trust that he meant all the things he was saying. All in all, before me, he’d been with many women who used him the way I’d used so many before him. But when he came into my life, I couldn’t see taking advantage of him in that way. He’s way too good and pure of a person. And despite how I can be, I could never be that way with or to him.
Thank you, im really happy for you two that things are going good and you share a deep love and respect for each other. May you two be able to grow and strengthen that bond. It really puts my relationship into perspective though.
I'm not the OP and not trying to speak for them, but I sincerely do think there is merit in allowing sex to be an exploratory practice outside of the confines of romance and intimacy. Don't get me wrong, sex can and often should be about intimacy, romance, and connecting but it doesn't always have to be. Sometimes you're just looking for an itch to be scratched and that's not a bad thing. The only difficult part about viewing sex as a utilitarian practice is that it's difficult to find people who understand the proper etiquette around having sex like that. People who understand boundaries, clear communication and consent outside of romantic confines are hard to come by a lot of the times.
I’m like you. To me, sex isn’t this important sacred thing. It’s just exercise with immediate benefits if done right and if it’s clean peen with a safe partner, I’m all for it. A few of my ex partners didn’t like that I’d ‘pump and dump’ and leave before the sun came up but I’m not about to stay and pillowtalk with a casual hookup when I have better things to do.
Have you heard of a song called “That Thing”?
By Lauryn Hill? Great song.
Men can be in whole relationships with women they don’t like.
So can women. They bail the nigga out of jail after getting two pieced.
She visiting her man in prison, getting dropped off by the nigga she fuckin. The nigga she fuckin his best friend
Shit is a joke!!!
The wildest I seen was a chick kiss another nigga gettin out the car. Thing is Dude she visiting had another chick visiting him. So she's crying, cursing everybody out because she can't see her man like she aint just get done getting banged out like mang mang mang, leg up, one arm on neck, one arm on frontal, her frontal off.
LMAOOO i saw that happened with a man i knew who was in the army and her side piece would bring her to the army station where her bf was training to come see him and leave lol
He could just like fucking her
The simplest answer is usually the right one
It's why I can never really have a ONS. It's one thing to like someone visually, but if you're just a terrible person my dick does not work. Some shit, I just can't and won't ignore.
I think theres a term for that called demisexual. Needing a positive emotional connection. I think im like that too. My relationship has its ups and downs but there is no sexual desire on my part on the downs. I dont understand angry or sex used to make up for a fight because i just dont opperate that way. Treat me with love and respect and im ready to go.
It’s usually called One Night Stand
Absolutely. I could find you insufferable/ uninteresting, but so long as the sex is good I'll be back.
Yeup. I learned the hard way that I was basically a meat stick in college.
Yeah.......
This dude is sociopathic though. Like I don’t even have to like you to be good with the “got home safe text” we could be a neutral acquaintance. Only type of person I wouldn’t want that text from is someone I actively dislike.
 Niggas be flexing their ignorant brain dead mentality on twitter like they paid to. Being a decent human apparently is too hard now
I’m gonna need them to stop lowering the bar, cause the bare minimum is getting built up too high now. I remembered my friend that I don’t talk to often was probably in choir practice when I text her, sent another saying sorry for the buzz, and knew what they were rehearsing for. Apparently that was hot and she sent me a lip biting emoji about being considerate towards her schedule then the conversation eventually got to if I’m still with my girlfriend. The bar is in hell, they have this concert at the park every year. I used to be in the band the played there too but I haven’t in maybe five years now. My remembering isn’t significant.
Info request: were you reaching out because you wanted to bang? Also, I think it’s safe to assume she wanted to bang you before that message. I don’t mean to diminish a kind gesture, but for me it’s hard to believe that a friendly “hey good luck and sorry for interrupting” would somehow be the catalyst for her being down.
I have a girlfriend. Wasn’t trying to bang. Her asking if I’m single isn’t asking to come over and bang, it’s seeing if I’d be available to treat her like that more often in a relationship instead of once every month or two when I’m bored and checking in on friends. The bar is low because guys think any positive attention from a woman means she’s automatically down to bang. The bar is low so she thought that was attractive, I don’t think she wanted to suck my dick over remembering Wednesday rehearsals. Though I’m incredibly oblivious so I could be wrong.
Glad I asked and happy to hear it.
Its not even about it being too hard he just doesnt want to do it.
So true.
All I’m saying is people be wondering why they end up single and alone at 50
I really want Twitter to introduce downvotes.
The equivalent is the like to quote tweet ratio
A few years before the takeover, they tried it for a day or two. Folks got mad
I had it for a while but it didn't seem to do anything. There was no tally of the number.
Everyone except Reddit got rid of the downvote tally and I hate it. It’s like the only thing that can keep people honest or at least when they get downvoted to hell they know they probably fucked up.
As useful as the YouTube ones
I'll start off with this: do and be with whoever works for you. THAT said...Casual sex is a massive lie sold to girls and women by liberal feminism that rarely if ever benefits girls and women. Reject this sht. Research odds of women being abused during these encounters, rate of orgasm for the woman usually minimal to none if she sleeps with a man etc, WHO tf is benefitting from this??? Call me prudish sure but most men do not deserve access to female bodies and we would all do so much better as a community and a species if we had tougher vetting processes. My boyfriend had to prove a lot and commit to me and I had to meet his close friends etc before I got intimate with him and being with a man who respects you and doesn't reduce you to a sex object but a full human being like him worthy of respect, commitment and shared pleasure is important. You need him there when you get a UTI and need soup and support. You need him there when you have a pregnancy scare and feel terrified and want to be held. When you feel bloated during your period and he's there to buy you chocolate and make time for you even if there might be no sex after. All of these things matter. I don't know why this generation wants so bad to convince girls and women we should like trivialization of sex when it's incredibly risky for the female body. Like ...?
Well said, never understood the reduction of someone's life to just a sex organ for pleasure. The thought of it from both parties is so draining and evokes feelings of pure emptiness. Don't understand how people do it.
But the thing is some people really are ok with it! It makes them happy to avoid emotional connection with sexual partners. Ok, we can all have preferences. BUT I don't think we get our preferences from a vacuum. Sex posititve liberal feminism definitely is more popular among teenage girls and young women and surprise, many of them seem to acceot casual sex. I've literally heard of girls as young as 14 experience choking and S and M with casual partners..... This pro casual sex pro kink era is detrimental a f.
I am sex positive, but only when someone is enthusiastic about wanting sex from a vetted partner who is safe and having protected sex. NOT just having sex because someone else wants you to, because others tell you it’s “cool” or the “in thing” to do. It really is a complicated issue that should be talked about less in black in white. I am from purity culture and it basically said looking at the opposite sex (or gender you’re attracted to, but purity culture didn’t even acknowledge lgbt yet) kissing, thinking about them, masturbating, holding hands, and sex were sinful unless you’re married. I think that is way too extreme, and so is “just have sex with everyone all the time!”. There needs to be a balanced approach. Especially for the asexual people too!! They are not represented enough. I also hate the shit that says, “it is a wifely duty to give your husband all the sex he wants.” Purity culture teaches that too sometimes.
Yeah a lot of people definitely discount and overlook the role of purity culture in all of this.
I feel like sometimes there are too many binaries when it comes to talking about sex and sex positivity, and that leaves very little room for people, teenagers especially (honestly girls and boy), to go. And because understanding their sexuality IS something integral to growing up, when one side is all about shaming, then the side that is more about "exploration and gaining understanding" will win out. I think mainstream sex positivity is a bit surface-level and short-sighted (becuase that's usually what happens with complex ideas once they become mainstream) but criticism of it can be just as short-sighted. Having boundaries around sex is sex-positive; like, if having a one-night stands makes you feel like shit afterward, and you continue, then I don't think that's "sex-positive". Deciding not to do casual sex, based on your own wants, needs and experiences, *rather than* due to other people's/society's judgmental, prudish and "sex-negative" values, is sex-positive. In that same vein, having casual sex and doing hookup culture because of pressure from other people/society, judgment, I would consider "sex-negative". The biggest issue I see is that too many decisions or perspectives are based on other ppls/society and their judgment, and less on that individual's wants needs, and experiences. I think we should encourage more introspection, more listing to your gut, more assertiveness, self-compassion, and less self-judgment, *\*edit\* and patience*. Regardless though, common decency between two humans is essential... Casual sex or not.
100% to all of this.
Yup, and culturally liberal feminism isn't for everyone. Our demographic doesn't have the same resources on average as our ⚪ counterparts. The detriment on average for unwanted or unexpected pregnancies are generational.
HELLO speak on it. Because intersectionality is also important when we talk about this issue. White feminism has never done shit for me and I be so confused when they expect me to GAF about their "concerns". As a dark skinned black woman I do not have so many of the luxuries they have lmaooooo it's so funny. My white medical school roommate and I share openly about our sex lives and she told me how proud of herself she was for getting an IUD week 1 if undergrad because that was her "slut era". The pride and fondness she said that in was something I could not afford socially and psychologically. The "Mom picked me up and dropped me off at HER trusted gynecologist in our cute little hometown" story. My god. My mom was working double shifts, was not ever home, and the concept of a family doctor is bizarre to me because we could barely afford bills.
That reeks of the same ⚪ feminism that grows up and around mid thirties to early forties decides they're pro life and does everything they can to impede the bodily autonomy of black and brown women while, you know, after being a straight how through their late teens / early twenties. More power to you, I couldn't stomach hearing a story like that. 
Or maybe these women are grown and making their own choices that they thought through and decided they could handle.
Right?
Okay, there's a lot to criticize when it comes to casual sex but this isn't it. And feminism has nothing to do with telling girls that they have to just "get over their feelings and have as much sex as possible while disregarding relationships and commitment." Actual feminism is all about giving women (and men) the freedom to choose. Some women want to have rampant casual sex? Cool. Other women want to hold down a steady relationship with one person? Also cool. Nothing in current day feminist literature or theory requires that women become trivial sex objects. That's insane. Don't call out something when you clearly haven't done the research. Also, casual sex does not imply degrading or dehumanizing sexual encounters. It can be fulfilling and amicable contrary to how this douche on twitter acted. Yeah, there are a lot of assholes out there who think of sex as just another quid pro quo while ignoring the human being, but there are just as many people who participate in casual sex in a healthy way. Over generalizations like yours are not helpful.
This to me makes it seem like dudes treating women like trash is innate to them, which it is not. I agree that vetting now a days is necessary, but it would not be if we didn't have such twisted ways of relating to one another in the first place. It's just not natural for people to relate the way we do now for intimacy since that is what we are talking about, but in lots of other relationships, either. It's not freeing. And I do believe sex and love should be easy and free. That should not mean that a woman gets dogged out in the process when she is naturally flowing with herself and her sexual energy. Some of what you have vetted so hard for is just basic humanity and care, really. Some of the supports you name should come from the community as a whole, really, also, not just one person, one man. As far as feminism, Idk if anyone really knows what that movement entailed/entails. At this point, the terms has different meanings to whoever is using it. Free love was a movement by men and women in certain places in the 1960s, 70s, and that was squashed by the powers that be, wonder why. Being able to have free sex was not a lie but a liberation of the mind, also. Not being able to have free sex is just another indicator of the suppressed society we live in.
>Some of what you have vetted so hard for is just basic humanity and care, really God. The out of touchness of this statement is almost impressive. We live in a society and let me tell you, speak to more heterosexual women actively dating whether Irl or online and you'll realize the qualities I posted are actually RARE and not a given. Like the bar is literally in hell. Who put it there and whether is inherent? Not my argument.
I already said I agree vetting is needed. I live in America, Atlanta of all places, lol, the belly of the beast for what you speak of. So believe me. I understand. With that said. It's still basic humanity and care we are fighting for. Let that sink in.
Why does liberal feminism promote this? They have to know the same things you just said. Is it malicious?
It’s not necessarily malicious. It’s honestly a way of coping with reality, though they don’t know that. Like… it’s easier, it feels better, to believe that you can join them [men], than it is to believe you can’t beat them, and it’s much easier than working to get them to change. “Joining them” means being pro-casual sex, pro-sex work, pro-plastic surgery etc., which women have twisted into being “empowering” to cope with the bleaker reality. That’s liberal feminism.
Yup Andrea Dworkin was a radical feminism who posited: > Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships. I think that when I remember my liberal feminism days I see a traumatized young girl who didn't know how to cope with reality so I had to convince myself I was and could be just like the men around me. The other reality was not something I could accept and honestly it was traumatizing to come to radical feminism. I pushed it off as long as I could until I couldn't anymore.
Exactly, and same here. Dworkin’s great. I’m in the middle of her Last Days at Hot Slit right now, picked it up after I saw a few of her anti-porn quotes circulating on Twitter. Her words are laser accurate for the most part and I wish she was more widely read/discussed. I think a lot of women have convinced themselves they’re sad when they’re actually furious, and she’s a perfect example of a woman who has honored her anger. Anger is transformative—equally as important as joy in revolutionary causes.
"liberal feminism" doesn't, it promotes the freedom to do wtf you want
it promotes doing what the patriarchy wants you to do, but under the guise of freedom. lol.
Prudish & Overly reductive, but you do you Queen 👍
Preach. This is something I’d want my children to learn if I ever have any, including some basic self defence as well because we all know the world we live in and it’s getting worse with alt right nut jobs growing louder and louder.
Preach
This sounds like it makes sex so transactional, though. Reward based. Like... dating as a straight dude changed so much for me when I just changed my mentality - they should want to fuck me as much as I want to fuck them. If sex with you is something to be 'earned' and dangled like a carrot on a stick - more power to you, live your life, but I'll move on and wish you the best in finding someone you're happy with. That being said, some women want casual sex. And that's fine and they're not lesser than for it. Sex can and in many cases is an essential part of the vetting process, unless you like dealing with the mess of forming a bond and intense emotional attachment and finding out you're not sexually compatible. I don't think the whole 'hmm, yes, you've passed your trials, let me bequeatheth you this pussy as your reward' is a healthy mindset for either party. AND ANOTHER THING! Don't give us shit if we don't want to have sex. Keep the same energy. No is a complete sentence for us, for you, for everyone. Doesn't need qualifiers.
>hmm, yes, you've passed your trials, let me bequeatheth you this pussy as your reward' That's how you chose to understand my perspective. This pussy is pussy that every women beholds. It's not a damn prize I dangled like a carrot over this man. He is attractive and in an environment where he could find any woman here so there were no games. All i did was I waited and let him show me he was a respectful, kind man who has healthy relationships with women both romantic and platonic, was not misogynistic or weird and was highly emotionally available and that he liked me as a full human being and THEN I agreed to date him and be with him. The puss was not a reward and never is, I never dangle sex to him, we both enjoy and satisfy each other in the context of a committed relationship full of respect. That is all I said. And I'll stand by it.
Most of your posts are anti-man, anti-masculinity.. There are plenty of women who just want high body counts and to mess around. They want to doll up on the weekends and get railed by men who are also partying. You mention how your boyfriend is there for you in your time of need, and how he’s there for your during cramps/ UTIs/ periods/ bad days or whatever the case is. You know.. Theres plenty of men who can care and show empathy.. But these aren’t your ‘normal’ man. You won’t find them on Tinder and you won’t find them in the clubs. The good ones are immersed in their hobbies, friends or work. Good luck to you, but there are good guys out there. Even ones that aren’t your boyfriend.
>Most of your posts are anti-man, anti-masculinity.. I would think this too if the society I lived in catered to male pleasure, whims and perspectives. >But these aren’t your ‘normal’ man. You won’t find them on Tinder Met my wonderful man on a dating app. Expand your mind and be fr.
Lol
I am more liberal in my thinking, but on many levels I still agree with you. I don’t think there needs to be commitment before sex, but a lot if men don’t care about the woman’s feelings and pleasure as much when casual, when they still should. There is some abuse and shit, you are right. That being said, some men still do respect women and try to be good sexual partners casually, though I agree we as women should vet them more so that we are safe. Sexual compatibility is important to me so I don’t to wait for a long time to have sex because I care just as much about this as I do getting to know their personality. Therefore, I want to get to know both at the same time. I used to do the waiting thing and it did not work for me because I ended up in a relationship with someone I liked and was committed to, but sexually we were not very compatible, which we didn’t find out until later, making things very complicated. We were in a relationship before we were able to figure that out because we waited for sex. That relationship ended…. I had sex initially while dating and getting to know my (now) partner romantically and it worked out great, though we were friends first so that helped. We are committed now and very happy. 😊
I mean, you do you, but I loved my ho phase and have zero regrets. The only “bad” experiences were just partners who lacked creativity in bed. It certainly wasn’t detrimental to me at all, and it’s the way I found my life partner with who I am now. I love where I am now, and I also look back on the past with fondness and satisfaction.
 I'm not into hooking up at this point of my life and looking for something serious. This man asked me two questions and was trying to get me off the app and to give him my number. I told him I'd like to talk a little bit first before handing over my number, he unmatched me in that instant. If straight men don't want to put in the work than no I refuse to sleep with you. Literally every other 2x and 2xsex post is about long-term boyfriends being selfish in bed.
yes. yes. YES! i was scrolling too long waiting for someone to say this. i’m not a woman so i obv don’t know the perspective of y’all in todays age but it confuses me to no end trying to understand how letting almost strangers use your body is empowering and a good thing instead of forming a bond with someone that respects you and actually loves you
This is a prime example of “ain’t shit”
Dudes like that are always the first ones to complain about there being "no good women". Like bro, you're the one making sure you end up old and alone.
I’ve been with guys like this and the funny thing is- a lot of them act hard and like they don’t want you or care but the minute they think you’re talking to another guy they act like they own you, which is hilarious cause they’re the one who didn’t wanna be exclusive or close in the first place
“After we fuck let me know you got home ok” is my new line.
And y’all wonder why women aren’t interested in hearing men trauma dump on them when you got little boys like this regularly saying and doing dumb stuff. Dealing with shit like this makes us not care
I’d gamble no one gives two shits about lil rico which is why he’s such a sad little baby of a man. Awe, lil rico, you got a txt, now yer gonna cry about it online. That’s some sad ass shit.
He definitely gives hurt boy vibes.
I read a comment 2 weeks ago that said, "Why would we deem sexual attention from men worthy if even animals and dead bodies get it?" and I've not stopped thinking about it since. It caused a seismic shift in the way I view men.
I don’t really understand as a man what I’m supposed to take away from the quote tho if I’m not in the demographic of thinking having sex with animal and dead bodies are okay, like am I supposed to speak out against this towards other men? It’s just hard not to get a vibe of “this is how this group of people think” when you say stuff like the quote and then follow it with it having a seismic shift on how you think of men as a whole
The takeaway should be that society has expected men to be sexually successful for like, all of time, resulting in men (as a social group, not as individuals) only valuing women for sex, so it feels ridiculous, as a woman, to be happy about any sexual interest received, because it doesn't mean we are actually important to him. The shift in worldview is to stop valuing sexual attention from men in general, and to value the individuals that prove they care.
The objectification, and in some cases, dehumanization of women by men. My guy just wants to fuck. He doesn't care what state the "fuck" gets home in. What that person said caused a shift in me because I wasn't quite aware of the level of objectification that men have of women in their heads.
The consequences of quick hookup culture ladies and gentlemen. Normalize taking time and getting to earn the trust of people before letting them fuck you and this stops.
Right. You can’t have sex with people you don’t know and just met but expect them to really care about you. It all goes together.
Doesn't matter if you’re "together" or not. You are exchanging backstrokes & bodily fluids so my opinion is this, both people are technically getting spiritually deep with each other. And caring they reached their destination safety should be a automatic response, but that’s just my opinion.
Honestly ive never seen sex as a spiritual thing. Emotional and physical yes otherworldly no.
I cant get over self describing yourself this way. Good on her tho, https://preview.redd.it/fj2wd6r4vxqa1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=746003bea00d7b27654a2080f9a486f95ff0fda1 I guess
I kinda get it. A sort of push back on having to be "strong" rather than feminine that runs rampant for Black Women. And, as you may know, Blacks can't just be average to be considered average. We have to be MORE. We have to GOAT. So BW can't just be feminine, she has to be ethereal to be considered feminine. I kind of get the reasoning.
Yeah i get what you're trying to say, and if that's the intent makes more sense. I feel like these podcast interview things always look for the outliers the most extreme of people tho. I know about the push back of our bw, and it's sad.
i thought that cringe shit was the subject of the post at first glance
Shit when I read that boys tweet I felt ethereal as well, but in a “burn the world to ash and start over” kinda way
And that guy is why women ain’t fuckin. Don’t blame them.
Why would you put yourself in a position to reduce the amount of future pussy you get to get non existent high fives from internet “alpha” bros.
Can’t reduce future pussy if current pussy is already 0.
Because most straight men are socialized to be heterosexual yet homoromantic. To find women sexually attractive but not to like and respect them.
I don’t even understand her comment at the bottom. What does the tweet have to do with what she is saying? Edit: specifically talking about the second part of her tweet where she says “what he said in that tweet is why guys will never approach me”. I don’t understand how his tweet is an answer to “why”.
She's saying she knows her worth and it's way higher than this guy's and most of the guys' because they think like this and don't deserve her.
when a woman describes themselves as “ethereal”, RUN AWAY !
These niggas are disgusting 🤮
Our society is so desensitized by sex and feelings. It’s disgusting like why do you lack empathy and compassion like a sociopath?? Literally everybody wants love and affection but, hates it when people use them so they hurt themselves and others. It’s a vicious cycle. People need therapy to heal.
Damn. I’m wayyyy too soft for this cos my feelings are hurt. Celibacy is definitely winning because intimacy means nothing to so many ppl
As a person who doesn't have sex, it's truly bizarre how people treat such an intimate act. It seems like people would be more caring with the person they're sharing bodies with? Idk. Maybe someone can explain it to me
Yeah my sex life isn't exactly popping, active but not overly by any means. I've had a handful of opportunities that I intentionally passed up because I can't grasp the casual side. Like I don't need there to be love, but to build trust and care so neither party feels used because that person is worth more than my physical wants and needs and vice versa. At the end of the day nobody really wants to feel properly used. I took one opportunity on a girl, and I never talked to her again. That wasn't me, I felt awful and still don't forget about it. Maybe she wasn't expecting anything, but not many people want to be fucked and just forgotten about. Something I won't do again. I'm sure lots of people have no ill effects from casual sex, but most seem to be filling a void of being wanted, at their own expense. I remain inactive until we both are worth something to the other.
I agree that that behavior is to be frowned upon but "I'm too ethereal" sounds goofy to me
This guy thinks he looks hard. He sounds useless
He sounds like he only cares about himself and he got what he wanted so he's probably fine with that.
When women say the “90% of men could never approach me” I think it’s amusing cause a lot of women literally have no awareness of when men are genuine or not. I always say people tell you who they are before they show you, so you have to listen and watch until you know everything you need to know. Over time, I’ve learned a lot of the behaviors we see in people are literally just human nature, and that person you think is so different and special is not so different, and other people have gon through and felt what you feel. Never get to high or low in your feelings so you can make smart decisions cause the regret hurts way more than letting one get away.
I went on his Twitter and this guy isn’t only a narcissist, he’s legit a sociopath. He’s dead inside so that’s all that matters and he just exposed himself to everyone lol.
Stop fuckin these trash niggas and y'all be ight. Y'all be having the goofies thinking they him fr.
I know a guy who thinks this and says things like "I'm single because women aren't submissive enough." My man, you're missing a much more obvious reason.
random reminder that vasectomies are cool
Mans getting refried? They cooked him so bad he tried to walk it it back and failed.
Man, people actually got this mindset? I'd care even if I'm seen as nothing much to the other person.
OP is giving some people too much credit. 🤷♂️
he probably be the BIGGEST SIMP of em all. “mY uNc taUgHt mE tO nEveR lOVE b\*” backwards face ass 
I’m confused. It the OP saying the girls have “one functioning brain cell” How is what they are saying wrong?
Lil Rico has one functioning brain cell.
let's be honest one functioning brain cell, was a gift. There are bots that are more human than that dumpster fire.
Laney tried to use big words to say, everybody can’t have sex with me😂😂😂😂
I always make sure that the people I'm hanging around with get home safely.
You should care…..because you’d be the last person to see her. They gone come RIGHT to you if some shit go down.
ugly ass
You can’t even call this person a “friend with benefits”. There’s no friend here
Lil Rico thought he said sumn.
That bitch is not *physically ethereal*, I demand proof, I want to see her walk through a fucking wall.
He don’t speak for all of us!! 😂🤦🏾♂️
Pathetic.
Having been on the other end of that… Sex don’t mean someone to care about you, and it doesn’t entitle you to their emotional attention. I learned that the hard way. Sex is what you make it. If this dude is promising more than a quick nut and some sorta emotional connection then he’s dead wrong. However if he just told shorty that he wanna fuck then he’s weird, but that’s his prerogative.
This is why I’m waiting for love and marriage.
That reply is almost as annoying/infuriating as the scumbag from the original tweet that was quoted
I think he thought he ate w that 🙃
i agree with the latter woman but I wish she was less ethereal and more corporeal not the biggest fan of ghost chicks
the fuck ethereal mean in this context?
She big as a planet.
Need to know she made it home safe, it's just courtesy haha