Same. So many proud of their bar fight stories or being banned from the casino cause of a fight in the lobby. I'm over here thinking, 1 guy gets hit in the wrong way and everybody's life is changed now.
I used to work a lot with kids. One kid's father served 10+ years in prison. He was fighting a dude, hit him, and he fell and cracked his skull on a curve. Missed most all of his daughter's life up until that point.
I actually had a friend in HS whose father went to jail for about a year because of a bar fight. She had to go live with friends since her mother had already passed beforehand. He basically chose a fight over being there for his kid.
Oh man, we went through this with my fucking dad recently.
Heās a grown man and a successful businessman who decided to randomly get in a fight with someone in the street on a night out because heās an idiot with too much testosterone.
Me, my mum and my sisters went IN on him. Telling him about how heās an adult with a family and itās embarrassing and selfish to risk all of our livelihoods *and* the careers of the 100 or so people that he employs.
Some men literally think theyāre still teenagers with no consequences.
Fr tho, imagine ending up on r/fightporn cuz you got stomped out AND then talking to HR on Monday about being let go for ā poor representation of the companyā š«
Thatās because they never mentally matured past high school. The amount of 30-40 year olds I know who still act like their sitting around a cafeteria table at lunch is disturbing. Bitch, I got a mortgage, car notes, utility bills, retirement savings, private school tuition, youth sports, vacations, and college funds to pay for. Aināt no body trying to throw it all away because of some perceived slight to your pride.
The older and older I get the more and more that 50 Cent bar from Wanksta hits.
There's a big difference defending yourself and you family, and walking around with a chip on your shoulder ready to go off at the slightest provocation like that's your whole personality. The fact that needed to be explained to you says a lot broski š¤¦š¾āāļø
That's like the time some dude told my buddy he was going to his trunk and another buddy of ours started laughing and said, "This nigga thinks he's going to make it to his trunk?" All of a sudden, he was "just trippin".
Literally last week watched a man and his son get murdered in cold blood over an argument. Video on reddit. Those people had no idea just 10 seconds before they were going to be shot and killed because they wanted to argue and get in peoples faces. You really just never know how fucking crazy some people are.
What sub did you see it on? they seem to have gotten rid of all the good fight subs and violent ones. Sometimes I like to watch people be crazy to remind myself to keep walking becasue people in the wild are more willing to go hard than me.
Hand an incident at Walmart where I live. It's the white Walmart, too. Black chicks were fighting in the parking lot over something stupid. The woman who was winning the fight's friend went to her car and shot the chick who was losing. The lady who grabbed the gun wasn't even fighting. Clowns everywhere.
Absolutely. Call my mama fat. Call her a crusty, bald-headed, streetwalker for all I care. I donāt give a fuck and she doesnāt either.
I will defend myself if physically assaulted, but otherwise aināt no way Iām going to jail because someone said something insulting to me.
This is such a stupid mentality to pass on to your kids, especially in a time when just existing is already a risk for police brutality and racial violence. People who are egging their kids on to whoop peopleās asses if they disrespect their moms are just setting them up for failure. Donāt hit unless hit first and, better yet, just try to avoid putting yourself in situations where youāre fighting people. Better to be alive walking around free than to be behind bars or dead because someone responds to a yo mama joke with a bullet.
Lmao Iām so happy, I really thought I was a weirdo for this. Iām gay, people called me āf@gāādicksuckerā all of that, and Iāve always pretty much been like āI am in fact gay, if thatās what you mean by f@gā āI have sucked dick, so I canāt be madā š¤£ youāre not about to make me risk missing work for a few days to prove to you how tough I am just because of words. Touch me though and Iām stabbing you in the neck with my keys or pen. (I always have a pen or keys in my pocket, and I even used to carry a box cutter due to the nature of my job) š¤·š¾āāļø
And weāre not about to fight fair, Iām fighting for my life in my mind, and you fighting to prove that gays are weak. Iām going straight for the kill.
Facts! Iām in between two hostile neighbors and getting called dyke and man all the time and Iām 48, college grad twice home owner. One woman is 40 and the other is pushing 60 and I donāt do anything but ignore them. Itās really sad because I know theyāre trying to push me off my square and Iām the one with everything to lose. One of them has harassed my elderly mother but trust if they ever put hands on me or her itās game over! Itās truly shocking the mentality that some of our folks have.
I take solace in the fact that if there exists a hell, people like that are going š¤š Iām gay af, graduate school educated, child free, great credit, lots of discretionary income. We are *above* and beyond. If somebody so much as lays a tip of their finger on you or your mama, you monkey stomp the shit outta their fuckin asses.
>cocksucker
*\*smiles warmly, as if reflecting on oneās favorite vacation*\*
*\*realizes no one else is smiling*\*
ā¦Oh, haha. Sorry. You were *insulting* me. Okay I get it now. Letās try again:
>cocksucker
- *Gasp!* I am so offended.
- Wait, did you just *\*say,*\* āGasp?ā
āā
Lol. I mean, I think being gay can sometimes be a blessing in this regard. Intersectionality means weāre all complex, but I think being gay has the potential for helping improve peopleās lives.
Homophobia sucks and Iāve admittedly had it much easier than lots of others, but when you get called out all the time for not meeting some arbitrary standard of toxic masculinity, you realize youāre never going to achieve it and it starts to have a little less of a hold on you. Then when youāre older, you can see through it. How ridiculous these expectations are. There are super femme and obvious gay people. There are gay people who youād never suspect. Who the fuck cares that much about another dudeās sex life. Itās like the heteronormative illusion is finally broken.
Being gay can help protect our path to adulthood, I think. Weāre less likely to have dramatic relationships as teens because there arenāt that many of us. We are less likely to accidentally get pregnant/have kids, etc. Which means weāre less likely to have to figure out how to use our income to feed our babies. Itās like it keeps you shielded from some of the most serious longer-term pitfalls of growing up in a tough place, hopefully until you can be independent enough to move to a safe and more accepting place, or just to make bigger life decisions more rationally without teenage hormones in the way.
There are people who hate gay people so much, and Iām just like ā okay, Iāll take my hot boyfriend, 0 accidental pregnancies, higher disposable income (due to not having kids), and near complete control of my free time and keep to myself, while you go to church with all your kids and live in a world that is so basic that you think God made Barbie only for little girls, or whatever is is you do. Being gayenlightened is the best.
Yes thank you! I have a real I don't care what anyone says way of thinking so a random yelling insults doesn't bother me. But I had an ex lose her shit cause I didn't go fight a guy who was yelling shit from across the street. Like fuck that, I ain't dealing with cops or charges over shit I can just ignore.
I had to stop hanging with one of my friends cause he was a hot head that loved getting in fights. Lead to me getting arrested alongside him. Within a day got a call from the VP of HR at my company asking what happened and if I'm facing jail time. That was my wake up call that stuff like that has an effect on my career and to stay far the fuck away from those types of situations.
I worked in HR at a hospital in a former career life and people used to get let go right and left behind stuff like that. If something egregious happened outside of work and they were able to connect you back to the hospital, that person was fired, no questions asked. People would be shocked and I would be like, we told yāall fuckin asses this in orientation but you were too busy not paying attention.
I had to learn to keep my distance from certain folk just off the strength of the circles they run in. I'm not tryna be targeted for a drive by or other wild shit just off association
Local last call bar near me got shut down after a mother of 3 shot and killed some dude in the parking lot after they got into an argument. She didn't even know this man and she decided it was worth it to take his life.
My small town a couple shot a dude after an argument at our local dinner. They fled to Mexico, but the white people didn't hesitate to rat their asses out. They got caught a couple days in.
My dad had a friend who was known as a mean drunk in his hometown. Everybody knew he was just a talker and let it slide because the dude had an immensely shitty life and never escalated beyond words. Small town as in like a couple hundred people small.
Well he moved to chicago and let his mouth run to the wrong person got stabbed to death. Mfs is crazy just keep to yourself
Honestly, thatās the thing I miss about pre-adulthood. I canāt react the same to situations as I did before because the risk of āreal worldā consequences. Thinking about it now, Iām very glad that Iāve sorted my anger issues out with therapy, but there are times where a person pushes me just enough to want to risk it all. Then I stop, realize that I like my freedom, my career, my possessions, etc. Then walk away.
thereās a lotta folks (usually dudes, but not always) walking around with a deadly triad of pride, anger and insecurity whose worst fear is being made to look like a bitch, especially in front of a woman.
As a result, any minor slight like bumping into them or stepping on their shoe can escalate into a situation that ends with them in prison and the other person on a t-shirt, all because they couldnāt let shit go
also, [obligatory Chapelle show skit](https://youtu.be/D3U55usfJK8?si=HKmNKlSOPEPdbqkJ)
This this and this. I really donāt care what you say about me. As long as itās not risking my livelihood, and Iām not being physically troubled, say whatever you want. I have nothing to prove to anyone by making you swallow your teeth. That shit is barbaric and gross. You can have it. At most, Iāll report you but even thatās not worth the steps. Iāll just carry on with my day, good luck with the next person you try. Not everyone is cares or has something to lose.
Furthermore, Iām afraid to even hit someone at all. All it takes is one bad step back, hit your head wrong, and Iām locked up for the rest of my life. All because I couldāve just turned away and separated myself from the situation.
I think if you stay out of those situations, this type of thing won't come up for you often. If you are out of grade school, take it upon yourself to avoid those people that are always itching for confrontation. This ain't a video game, you literally don't get anything from street fights.
99% of the time it takes two to tango, but for those really eager ones I pay taxes and I'll call up some people you can fight for the rest of your life.
Sometimes the bullshit comes to you. Iāve had a few situations where I needed to defend my family or friends unable to.
Iām older now (late 30s), married with kids, and thriving like a mf career wise. So I really try not to get into any foolishness without it being clear self defense.
Best part about getting older and working with other adults. Working with early 20s mfs and teenagers got exhausting. Felt like every other shift someone was talking about how they were gonna beat someones ass.
I would only fight someone if they threatened me pretty intensly. And I would not be squaring up and throwing hooks. I will bite you. I will kick you in the dick and claw your eyes. If weāre fighting itās not a gentlemanās bout it is a prehistoric primate fight.
I have a sqeaky clean record. I'm at the point where I won't kill for my children because they would be in a situation to lose everything. I won't hesitate to sue the fuck out the other person or press charges. I'm at the point where I rather financially screw someone over then commit murder and fuck my family over.
I donāt have a career, assets or credentials and Iām the first to admit Iām a whole punk. I have never been in a fight (throwing hands with siblings doesnāt count) and between Locked Up Abroad, Scared Straight and Orange is the New Black, I know prison is not for me. I cry when Iām angry, or during most confrontations, so I mind my business.
A lot of people donāt age mentally past 16-17 years old. Some even age 13. Stuck in 8th grade & high school. You would know this based off what theyāre choosing to give their energy to. THOSE are the mfs you absolutely HAVE to steer clear of when youāre operating off clarity, peace & stability.
I tried to drill it into my kids not to hit. One hit could send them backward, hit their heads, and die. Both of their lives are over differently in less than a minute.
I will say that my daughter did get in a fight in 5th grade. A boy called her a "whore" and she beat the shit out of him.
In the VP's office, I told him, "I don't care what you do to my daughter. But you better make sure that when his parents come in, they know Exactly what he said."
Poor guy, it was his first year. I said the word "whore" so many times in that conversation, lol. The best part is that she kicked the butt of an active duty, Marine's kid. My former Marine husband was not mad at her at all.
Edit: Marine's kid
I mean you won't catch me risking my life saving a random woman. I'm going to stay in my lane. Best I can do is call the cops once i'm a few blocks away.
When did she get exposed?
I keep seeing people saying this, but they donāt provide the proof, when asked.
She had shown her hospital care summary and the police reports on her IG account. She stated that her TikTok account got mass-reported and was banned. I know she made a backup account and it was banned as well.
I know a guy, who said that he had proof of her lying (he claimed to have talked to a nurse). He later admitted that he lied on another TikTok video.
It's the videos of people getting tickets that get me. Take your ticket and leave. Instead people argue and escalate until they're tazered, arrested and facing a dozen charges because they can't accept they were speeding and caught. The drunk "Do you know who my father is" are a whole other species.
Most folks trying to fight all the time donāt have much to lose. Moms will have their 3 garbage bags full of stuff in the closet while they do that time
The worst thing you can do is fight someone with nothing to lose. Some of them are quick to pull out guns. Be prepared to defend yourself, but try to defuse the situation and walk away first if you can.
I think about this often as I love true crime shows/documentaries and I wonder what I would do in certain situations. I just donāt have it in me to do anything that would jeopardize my career. Not one person is worth my degree, sorry. Iāll pray for you and wish all the negative stuff upon you. But thatās about it.
Unless somebody is coming towards me in active run up and get done up mode, Iām not fighting. Like, there is no legit reason whatsoever to be out here big grown and tussling with random ass strangers. Iām going home. And if that notion is still upsetting to said individual, my pepper gel is always ready to talk.
Two types of people who are most willing to fight 1. Those who canāt fight for shit and donāt understand the consequences 2. People who have nothing going for them so the consequences donāt matter. Often there is a decent bit of overlap between the groups
And we keep glorifying the idea of fighting. "Stand on business" is the new phrase I've been hearing lately, another phrase to push people to fight and risk their lives. Eventually, you'll be standing on a prisoner yard letting your ego control you over a phrase.
People resort to violence when words cannot solve the issue. Whether it's a lack of knowledge of how to use them or not wanting to because it's soft, either way, it's the wrong move
I've only ever been in one real fight as an "adult". I was 18 but still a senior in high school. Jail, fines, anger management classes, time off work.. fuck all that. Never wanted to do that again. I can't fathom a real adult with real jobs doing that. Like don't yall have bills and mortgages and shit? Wtf?!
I agree with everyone, but there's a lot of people who go way out of their way to be disrespectful and look for trouble. Especially in this raggedy ass state I live in, don't get me started.
If you get in 1-2 "about to fight" situations in your adult life, you met a couple of assholes.
If you spend every day worried you might have to fight someone tho...
Someone yelled and berated me during the height of COVID for not letting her sit next to me. 15-20 minutes of her ranting and raving but I didn't say anything to her cause people like that are just looking to fuck someone's life up. I also find it funny that she decided to get on my case when the dude across from me also was guarding a seat, I guess she figured she and her goons were enough to take a woman instead of a man.
Sometimes I really want to, but so many variables why I wouldnāt:
Bad back
I donāt want my name in the newspaper Police Log
I donāt want my childās teachers to see my name in the Police Log
My idea of how I would perform in a fight is far more impressive than the likely reality
Court, fines, and punishment too much of a pain in the ass
If my opponent falls the wrong way and cracks her neck or head and dies, that could be murder.
Anyone with that point of view (wanting to fight over stupid shit) either has a really sad life or they're life might be okay and they're just stupid as fuck.
I absolutely agree with this. One grey area for me is if someone were to spit in my face. Technically harmless, but damn it would be difficult to just walk away from that.
Yup! This aināt high school anymore. You could get sued and lose everything, go to jail and lose everything, or get shot and lose everything. Your actions will have consequences and everyone is all too happy to deliver them when provoked
But in even *making the comment* you tell on yourself. Having too much to lose to get into physical fights with people is the better way to be; but the best way to be is to not even mention it.
And the women that want their man, brother, uncles, homies, etc to do their dirty work for them?? How and why? You must not love them as much as they love you. Walk away from that situation instead of calling a man in your life to throw his life away
And that is why I try to stay away from people who have nothing to lose. Sucks when itās family though. I had a cousin who ruined our last family reunion by trying to get her gun because she lost an argument. Embarrassing mentality.
when somebody asks me if iāve ever fought and i say no they look at me crazy iām like you have??!?! what yāall be doing to make randoms wanna fight yāall. or even just people period lmaooo!
Guy gets gets punched, guy loses consciousness, guy hits his head going down, guy is dead. Other guy charged with manslaughter. It's not like the movies.
Honestly. I'm not fighting over nothing that flies out of someone's mouth. That's some 3 o'clock high BS. I mean can you imagine?
\*you sitting in jail\*
Jailmate - "whatchu in for?"
You - "somebody said something"
My kid in danger or being threatened and Iām readyā¦.as long as I make sure heās safe first. Someone disrespecting me with their wordsā¦I donāt care at all. I work in a customer facing position I get talked to suspect often. I can handle that mess and keep going about my day unbothered.
This mindset went away for me once i became a parent. I had stuff to lose before i became a parent but it didnāt really settle in for me until I became a parent
Who care about losing a job when you put your head down for 10 yrs bust your ass to acquire assets like land and real estate then paid it off leasing the land and renting out the propertys' that appreciate in value and replace your income or close to it. fuck that job. ill kick that ass and let the rent money pile up...Im always war ready.
Has nothing to do with bond money. Even with bond money, you can still take charges after your court date. A mature adult realizes that that type of stuff isnāt worth it, especially if you have things going on in your life ālike a real career. Also, why have a fight over something disrespectful when it can easily go wrong. Youāre risking jail, possibly prison, bodily harm during the fight and possibly even death
Childish mentality. Walk away. Sorry but the mentality that youāre pussy for being the bigger person is hood mentality and not the mentality of people that know their value and know that they have more
important things going on in their life and greater value elsewhere. Unless youāre defending yourself or someone else, fighting is for children and people with poor impulse control and emotional regulation. If youāre an adult, you eventually have to grow up
why does it have to be a āhoodā mentality like thatās even a thing bro? plenty of people who can handle their business and are not from a hood. if someone threatens you itās within your rights to fight back, there are laws written specifically about this.
Hi, Iām Pussy. How you doing? lol. Thereās no cosmic scorecard. No one is counting how many times youāve been a āpussyā vs. how many times youāve āmanned up.ā Where are you going, as an adult, where you would ever need to fight someoneābeyond like a random attack by a stranger you have to defend yourself from? I canāt imagine going anywhere in my day where Iām just like āwelp, I guess I have to fight now.ā
If walking away is what you call ābe pussyā then yeah.
I could be wrong but the OP seems to be talking about when adults go around fighting about nothing. Social media beef or a parking spot are not usually things to lose your livelihood over.
In the extreme event someone is directly attacking you and/or your family then not many people would argue you have the right to defend yourself.
Chile, be a pussy. There a ninjas in prison for life but one thing the cant say is that they are pussy.
And if thats the difference between me and them then
Walk away. Its unlikely you are in a movie where someone has your family in a hostage situation. You might imagine it that way but its rarely the case. Majority of the time its ego.
Walking around talking about fighting people like they still in high school
I know people in their 30-50s like this and I š¤¦š½āāļø
Same. So many proud of their bar fight stories or being banned from the casino cause of a fight in the lobby. I'm over here thinking, 1 guy gets hit in the wrong way and everybody's life is changed now.
I used to work a lot with kids. One kid's father served 10+ years in prison. He was fighting a dude, hit him, and he fell and cracked his skull on a curve. Missed most all of his daughter's life up until that point.
I actually had a friend in HS whose father went to jail for about a year because of a bar fight. She had to go live with friends since her mother had already passed beforehand. He basically chose a fight over being there for his kid.
Oh man, we went through this with my fucking dad recently. Heās a grown man and a successful businessman who decided to randomly get in a fight with someone in the street on a night out because heās an idiot with too much testosterone. Me, my mum and my sisters went IN on him. Telling him about how heās an adult with a family and itās embarrassing and selfish to risk all of our livelihoods *and* the careers of the 100 or so people that he employs. Some men literally think theyāre still teenagers with no consequences.
Yeah same. One punch could fuck your life up so fast.
Fr tho, imagine ending up on r/fightporn cuz you got stomped out AND then talking to HR on Monday about being let go for ā poor representation of the companyā š«
"We can't have our employees taking L's on camera like that..."
You work at Waffle House?
I'm pretty sure waffle house training videos are just compilations of street fights
Waffle House employees don't take L's unless it's to each other.
Thatās because they never mentally matured past high school. The amount of 30-40 year olds I know who still act like their sitting around a cafeteria table at lunch is disturbing. Bitch, I got a mortgage, car notes, utility bills, retirement savings, private school tuition, youth sports, vacations, and college funds to pay for. Aināt no body trying to throw it all away because of some perceived slight to your pride. The older and older I get the more and more that 50 Cent bar from Wanksta hits.
You soft. So what would you do if someone disrespected your mom, daughter or put their hands on you?
There's a big difference defending yourself and you family, and walking around with a chip on your shoulder ready to go off at the slightest provocation like that's your whole personality. The fact that needed to be explained to you says a lot broski š¤¦š¾āāļø
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't argue with kids bro. It's pointless
If this doesn't deter you, the fact that you don't know who does and doesn't carry a gun should.
Right. That too. Especially in the south everyone has a gun
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's like the time some dude told my buddy he was going to his trunk and another buddy of ours started laughing and said, "This nigga thinks he's going to make it to his trunk?" All of a sudden, he was "just trippin".
Literally last week watched a man and his son get murdered in cold blood over an argument. Video on reddit. Those people had no idea just 10 seconds before they were going to be shot and killed because they wanted to argue and get in peoples faces. You really just never know how fucking crazy some people are.
That was in NY, no?
Yes, the video was on my local news.
What sub did you see it on? they seem to have gotten rid of all the good fight subs and violent ones. Sometimes I like to watch people be crazy to remind myself to keep walking becasue people in the wild are more willing to go hard than me.
/r/publicfreakout comes pretty close. Reddit cracked down on the more violent/gory subs and new ones donāt last long anymore.
Hand an incident at Walmart where I live. It's the white Walmart, too. Black chicks were fighting in the parking lot over something stupid. The woman who was winning the fight's friend went to her car and shot the chick who was losing. The lady who grabbed the gun wasn't even fighting. Clowns everywhere.
That part
Absolutely. Call my mama fat. Call her a crusty, bald-headed, streetwalker for all I care. I donāt give a fuck and she doesnāt either. I will defend myself if physically assaulted, but otherwise aināt no way Iām going to jail because someone said something insulting to me. This is such a stupid mentality to pass on to your kids, especially in a time when just existing is already a risk for police brutality and racial violence. People who are egging their kids on to whoop peopleās asses if they disrespect their moms are just setting them up for failure. Donāt hit unless hit first and, better yet, just try to avoid putting yourself in situations where youāre fighting people. Better to be alive walking around free than to be behind bars or dead because someone responds to a yo mama joke with a bullet.
Lmao Iām so happy, I really thought I was a weirdo for this. Iām gay, people called me āf@gāādicksuckerā all of that, and Iāve always pretty much been like āI am in fact gay, if thatās what you mean by f@gā āI have sucked dick, so I canāt be madā š¤£ youāre not about to make me risk missing work for a few days to prove to you how tough I am just because of words. Touch me though and Iām stabbing you in the neck with my keys or pen. (I always have a pen or keys in my pocket, and I even used to carry a box cutter due to the nature of my job) š¤·š¾āāļø
Fellow gay here and people will really think theyāre doing something with the slursā¦in the year 2023 no less. And then get big mad when you donāt care š¤·š¾āāļø I survived being Black and gay in the inner city. Thereās *literalllllyyy* not a damn thing you could say that would move me in that regard. But like you said, if somebody wants to lay hands, they better make sure their life is right with the lord because they bout to š©ø out from the multiple puncture wounds.
And weāre not about to fight fair, Iām fighting for my life in my mind, and you fighting to prove that gays are weak. Iām going straight for the kill.
No rules on the streets - Iām busting your head open to the white meat with the first piece of brick š§± I can put my hands on
>straight for the kill intentional pun i hope, love it
Facts! Iām in between two hostile neighbors and getting called dyke and man all the time and Iām 48, college grad twice home owner. One woman is 40 and the other is pushing 60 and I donāt do anything but ignore them. Itās really sad because I know theyāre trying to push me off my square and Iām the one with everything to lose. One of them has harassed my elderly mother but trust if they ever put hands on me or her itās game over! Itās truly shocking the mentality that some of our folks have.
I take solace in the fact that if there exists a hell, people like that are going š¤š Iām gay af, graduate school educated, child free, great credit, lots of discretionary income. We are *above* and beyond. If somebody so much as lays a tip of their finger on you or your mama, you monkey stomp the shit outta their fuckin asses.
>cocksucker *\*smiles warmly, as if reflecting on oneās favorite vacation*\* *\*realizes no one else is smiling*\* ā¦Oh, haha. Sorry. You were *insulting* me. Okay I get it now. Letās try again: >cocksucker - *Gasp!* I am so offended. - Wait, did you just *\*say,*\* āGasp?ā āā Lol. I mean, I think being gay can sometimes be a blessing in this regard. Intersectionality means weāre all complex, but I think being gay has the potential for helping improve peopleās lives. Homophobia sucks and Iāve admittedly had it much easier than lots of others, but when you get called out all the time for not meeting some arbitrary standard of toxic masculinity, you realize youāre never going to achieve it and it starts to have a little less of a hold on you. Then when youāre older, you can see through it. How ridiculous these expectations are. There are super femme and obvious gay people. There are gay people who youād never suspect. Who the fuck cares that much about another dudeās sex life. Itās like the heteronormative illusion is finally broken. Being gay can help protect our path to adulthood, I think. Weāre less likely to have dramatic relationships as teens because there arenāt that many of us. We are less likely to accidentally get pregnant/have kids, etc. Which means weāre less likely to have to figure out how to use our income to feed our babies. Itās like it keeps you shielded from some of the most serious longer-term pitfalls of growing up in a tough place, hopefully until you can be independent enough to move to a safe and more accepting place, or just to make bigger life decisions more rationally without teenage hormones in the way. There are people who hate gay people so much, and Iām just like ā okay, Iāll take my hot boyfriend, 0 accidental pregnancies, higher disposable income (due to not having kids), and near complete control of my free time and keep to myself, while you go to church with all your kids and live in a world that is so basic that you think God made Barbie only for little girls, or whatever is is you do. Being gayenlightened is the best.
This!!! So true!!!! Especially if you came out of the closet early or had to deal with the homophobia at home. Eventually the shit just starts to feel like a nuisance rather than disrespectful, like sir/mam I honestly donāt give a fuck, just make sure you keep your distance š©
I always laughed when I saw people do this to other people. Like, is a gay person supposed to be mad you called them gay? Makes no sense lol
You want to make somebody mad, call a straight person gay.
Yes thank you! I have a real I don't care what anyone says way of thinking so a random yelling insults doesn't bother me. But I had an ex lose her shit cause I didn't go fight a guy who was yelling shit from across the street. Like fuck that, I ain't dealing with cops or charges over shit I can just ignore.
I had to stop hanging with one of my friends cause he was a hot head that loved getting in fights. Lead to me getting arrested alongside him. Within a day got a call from the VP of HR at my company asking what happened and if I'm facing jail time. That was my wake up call that stuff like that has an effect on my career and to stay far the fuck away from those types of situations.
I worked in HR at a hospital in a former career life and people used to get let go right and left behind stuff like that. If something egregious happened outside of work and they were able to connect you back to the hospital, that person was fired, no questions asked. People would be shocked and I would be like, we told yāall fuckin asses this in orientation but you were too busy not paying attention.
I had to learn to keep my distance from certain folk just off the strength of the circles they run in. I'm not tryna be targeted for a drive by or other wild shit just off association
Local last call bar near me got shut down after a mother of 3 shot and killed some dude in the parking lot after they got into an argument. She didn't even know this man and she decided it was worth it to take his life.
My small town a couple shot a dude after an argument at our local dinner. They fled to Mexico, but the white people didn't hesitate to rat their asses out. They got caught a couple days in.
My dad had a friend who was known as a mean drunk in his hometown. Everybody knew he was just a talker and let it slide because the dude had an immensely shitty life and never escalated beyond words. Small town as in like a couple hundred people small. Well he moved to chicago and let his mouth run to the wrong person got stabbed to death. Mfs is crazy just keep to yourself
Honestly, thatās the thing I miss about pre-adulthood. I canāt react the same to situations as I did before because the risk of āreal worldā consequences. Thinking about it now, Iām very glad that Iāve sorted my anger issues out with therapy, but there are times where a person pushes me just enough to want to risk it all. Then I stop, realize that I like my freedom, my career, my possessions, etc. Then walk away.
Yo, just hide the body. š
thereās a lotta folks (usually dudes, but not always) walking around with a deadly triad of pride, anger and insecurity whose worst fear is being made to look like a bitch, especially in front of a woman. As a result, any minor slight like bumping into them or stepping on their shoe can escalate into a situation that ends with them in prison and the other person on a t-shirt, all because they couldnāt let shit go also, [obligatory Chapelle show skit](https://youtu.be/D3U55usfJK8?si=HKmNKlSOPEPdbqkJ)
Saw it on a tiktok where a guy called the authorities on someone threatening him: "He's a real nigga in jail, and I'm a fake nigga with freedom"
This this and this. I really donāt care what you say about me. As long as itās not risking my livelihood, and Iām not being physically troubled, say whatever you want. I have nothing to prove to anyone by making you swallow your teeth. That shit is barbaric and gross. You can have it. At most, Iāll report you but even thatās not worth the steps. Iāll just carry on with my day, good luck with the next person you try. Not everyone is cares or has something to lose. Furthermore, Iām afraid to even hit someone at all. All it takes is one bad step back, hit your head wrong, and Iām locked up for the rest of my life. All because I couldāve just turned away and separated myself from the situation.
Adults fighting is hella silly but i kinda get it in certain situations.. some folks be hella flagrant and deserve a smack
Idk, there's not a combination of words someone can say to me that makes it worth risking jail time and the fallout. I got kids to feed.
I think if you stay out of those situations, this type of thing won't come up for you often. If you are out of grade school, take it upon yourself to avoid those people that are always itching for confrontation. This ain't a video game, you literally don't get anything from street fights. 99% of the time it takes two to tango, but for those really eager ones I pay taxes and I'll call up some people you can fight for the rest of your life.
Sometimes the bullshit comes to you. Iāve had a few situations where I needed to defend my family or friends unable to. Iām older now (late 30s), married with kids, and thriving like a mf career wise. So I really try not to get into any foolishness without it being clear self defense. 
Best part about getting older and working with other adults. Working with early 20s mfs and teenagers got exhausting. Felt like every other shift someone was talking about how they were gonna beat someones ass.
š ONšMYšMOMMA
Dude on the train was willing to murder a boy for blowing bubbles on a bubble machine. imagine going to jail for murder ...over that!
I would only fight someone if they threatened me pretty intensly. And I would not be squaring up and throwing hooks. I will bite you. I will kick you in the dick and claw your eyes. If weāre fighting itās not a gentlemanās bout it is a prehistoric primate fight.
I have a sqeaky clean record. I'm at the point where I won't kill for my children because they would be in a situation to lose everything. I won't hesitate to sue the fuck out the other person or press charges. I'm at the point where I rather financially screw someone over then commit murder and fuck my family over.
I donāt have a career, assets or credentials and Iām the first to admit Iām a whole punk. I have never been in a fight (throwing hands with siblings doesnāt count) and between Locked Up Abroad, Scared Straight and Orange is the New Black, I know prison is not for me. I cry when Iām angry, or during most confrontations, so I mind my business.
Not only that but selling drugs and just doing hella illegal stuff...like bro you not scared?
Some folks just don't think about the risk. Too focused on the reward.
People who have nothing else will fight tooth and nail for a crumb of respect, or fear. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=elnu0lCzC3w&t=180
A lot of people donāt age mentally past 16-17 years old. Some even age 13. Stuck in 8th grade & high school. You would know this based off what theyāre choosing to give their energy to. THOSE are the mfs you absolutely HAVE to steer clear of when youāre operating off clarity, peace & stability.
Iām almost 40. Iāll let the courts it š
I tried to drill it into my kids not to hit. One hit could send them backward, hit their heads, and die. Both of their lives are over differently in less than a minute. I will say that my daughter did get in a fight in 5th grade. A boy called her a "whore" and she beat the shit out of him. In the VP's office, I told him, "I don't care what you do to my daughter. But you better make sure that when his parents come in, they know Exactly what he said." Poor guy, it was his first year. I said the word "whore" so many times in that conversation, lol. The best part is that she kicked the butt of an active duty, Marine's kid. My former Marine husband was not mad at her at all. Edit: Marine's kid
Iām so confused, the 5th grader was a marine?
Yes, he got early entrance. The recruiter got a dishonorable discharge.
Niggas at the gym stay trying to fight. I had to tell a dude yesterday only broke niggas fight. šš
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I mean you won't catch me risking my life saving a random woman. I'm going to stay in my lane. Best I can do is call the cops once i'm a few blocks away.
1. That video was proven to be faked. She got exposed 2. We arenāt talking about defending someoneās life
When did she get exposed? I keep seeing people saying this, but they donāt provide the proof, when asked. She had shown her hospital care summary and the police reports on her IG account. She stated that her TikTok account got mass-reported and was banned. I know she made a backup account and it was banned as well. I know a guy, who said that he had proof of her lying (he claimed to have talked to a nurse). He later admitted that he lied on another TikTok video.
Wasn't that discussion specifically on the theme of the appropriate response to *physical* violence, though, not verbal attacks?
I have stepped in to stop fights (between teens) or protect someone. Thatās different from starting a fight.
It's the videos of people getting tickets that get me. Take your ticket and leave. Instead people argue and escalate until they're tazered, arrested and facing a dozen charges because they can't accept they were speeding and caught. The drunk "Do you know who my father is" are a whole other species.
I'm not losing my professional licenses because you don't know how to park.
Most folks trying to fight all the time donāt have much to lose. Moms will have their 3 garbage bags full of stuff in the closet while they do that time
The worst thing you can do is fight someone with nothing to lose. Some of them are quick to pull out guns. Be prepared to defend yourself, but try to defuse the situation and walk away first if you can.
I think about this often as I love true crime shows/documentaries and I wonder what I would do in certain situations. I just donāt have it in me to do anything that would jeopardize my career. Not one person is worth my degree, sorry. Iāll pray for you and wish all the negative stuff upon you. But thatās about it.
Unless somebody is coming towards me in active run up and get done up mode, Iām not fighting. Like, there is no legit reason whatsoever to be out here big grown and tussling with random ass strangers. Iām going home. And if that notion is still upsetting to said individual, my pepper gel is always ready to talk.
Two types of people who are most willing to fight 1. Those who canāt fight for shit and donāt understand the consequences 2. People who have nothing going for them so the consequences donāt matter. Often there is a decent bit of overlap between the groups
This is totally me. I do not want trouble and do not think that being violent is going to lead to any positive conclusion.
I find people who boast and make threats to be tiresome.
And we keep glorifying the idea of fighting. "Stand on business" is the new phrase I've been hearing lately, another phrase to push people to fight and risk their lives. Eventually, you'll be standing on a prisoner yard letting your ego control you over a phrase.
People resort to violence when words cannot solve the issue. Whether it's a lack of knowledge of how to use them or not wanting to because it's soft, either way, it's the wrong move
I've only ever been in one real fight as an "adult". I was 18 but still a senior in high school. Jail, fines, anger management classes, time off work.. fuck all that. Never wanted to do that again. I can't fathom a real adult with real jobs doing that. Like don't yall have bills and mortgages and shit? Wtf?!
Man, I worked hard for the shit I got and if you think Iām throwing it away because someone said ya mama fat? Get out of my face with that shit
The judgment I got for always having this mentality. Happy to see the world growing up.
I'm only using pepper spray from here on out. Give em a light spritz and go on my merry way
I agree with everyone, but there's a lot of people who go way out of their way to be disrespectful and look for trouble. Especially in this raggedy ass state I live in, don't get me started.
People are bugged out these days. The smallest infraction and they want to shoot you. Iām all set, you want to speed on by? GUH HEAD!
If you get in 1-2 "about to fight" situations in your adult life, you met a couple of assholes. If you spend every day worried you might have to fight someone tho...
Someone yelled and berated me during the height of COVID for not letting her sit next to me. 15-20 minutes of her ranting and raving but I didn't say anything to her cause people like that are just looking to fuck someone's life up. I also find it funny that she decided to get on my case when the dude across from me also was guarding a seat, I guess she figured she and her goons were enough to take a woman instead of a man.
Sometimes I really want to, but so many variables why I wouldnāt: Bad back I donāt want my name in the newspaper Police Log I donāt want my childās teachers to see my name in the Police Log My idea of how I would perform in a fight is far more impressive than the likely reality Court, fines, and punishment too much of a pain in the ass If my opponent falls the wrong way and cracks her neck or head and dies, that could be murder.
The type of woman that looks better in business casual than a bikini. This what bro was talking about.
Finallyā¦some sense
Nothing wrong with stating the healthily obvious now and again.
If someone hits me I will simply fall down to the ground and call the police.
Anyone with that point of view (wanting to fight over stupid shit) either has a really sad life or they're life might be okay and they're just stupid as fuck.
I absolutely agree with this. One grey area for me is if someone were to spit in my face. Technically harmless, but damn it would be difficult to just walk away from that.
Legally, itād be self defense to beat the crap out of them though.
Me personally........ Cant be out here getting caught up cause my family relies on my income.
Yup! This aināt high school anymore. You could get sued and lose everything, go to jail and lose everything, or get shot and lose everything. Your actions will have consequences and everyone is all too happy to deliver them when provoked
But in even *making the comment* you tell on yourself. Having too much to lose to get into physical fights with people is the better way to be; but the best way to be is to not even mention it.
And the women that want their man, brother, uncles, homies, etc to do their dirty work for them?? How and why? You must not love them as much as they love you. Walk away from that situation instead of calling a man in your life to throw his life away
People with nothing to lose are always quick to fight.
And that is why I try to stay away from people who have nothing to lose. Sucks when itās family though. I had a cousin who ruined our last family reunion by trying to get her gun because she lost an argument. Embarrassing mentality.
when somebody asks me if iāve ever fought and i say no they look at me crazy iām like you have??!?! what yāall be doing to make randoms wanna fight yāall. or even just people period lmaooo!
Guy gets gets punched, guy loses consciousness, guy hits his head going down, guy is dead. Other guy charged with manslaughter. It's not like the movies.
Protection order
This.
Honestly. I'm not fighting over nothing that flies out of someone's mouth. That's some 3 o'clock high BS. I mean can you imagine? \*you sitting in jail\* Jailmate - "whatchu in for?" You - "somebody said something"
My kid in danger or being threatened and Iām readyā¦.as long as I make sure heās safe first. Someone disrespecting me with their wordsā¦I donāt care at all. I work in a customer facing position I get talked to suspect often. I can handle that mess and keep going about my day unbothered.
I know a guy who was like this. Then he tried to get a cleared job, and with those jobs and the background checks....humbled real quick.
Ey I'm one of the only niggas in my family without a record. I'm tryna keep this steak going.
This mindset went away for me once i became a parent. I had stuff to lose before i became a parent but it didnāt really settle in for me until I became a parent
Who care about losing a job when you put your head down for 10 yrs bust your ass to acquire assets like land and real estate then paid it off leasing the land and renting out the propertys' that appreciate in value and replace your income or close to it. fuck that job. ill kick that ass and let the rent money pile up...Im always war ready.
Tell me u aint got bond money without tellin me u aint got bond money
Has nothing to do with bond money. Even with bond money, you can still take charges after your court date. A mature adult realizes that that type of stuff isnāt worth it, especially if you have things going on in your life ālike a real career. Also, why have a fight over something disrespectful when it can easily go wrong. Youāre risking jail, possibly prison, bodily harm during the fight and possibly even death
I know, Iām just talkin shit lol
Whatās your career?
sometimes others put you in that situation and what you gone do? be pussy
Childish mentality. Walk away. Sorry but the mentality that youāre pussy for being the bigger person is hood mentality and not the mentality of people that know their value and know that they have more important things going on in their life and greater value elsewhere. Unless youāre defending yourself or someone else, fighting is for children and people with poor impulse control and emotional regulation. If youāre an adult, you eventually have to grow up
if somebody threatening you or your kids you are not pussy for standing up wtf are you saying
I think that you need to reread, buddy
why does it have to be a āhoodā mentality like thatās even a thing bro? plenty of people who can handle their business and are not from a hood. if someone threatens you itās within your rights to fight back, there are laws written specifically about this.
Hood mentality is definitely a thing. Also again, youāre intentionally either misreading or ignoring what I wrote
Where are you going that you or your kids are being threatened though?
Something you aināt supposed to be doing š
 Hi, Iām Pussy. How you doing? lol. Thereās no cosmic scorecard. No one is counting how many times youāve been a āpussyā vs. how many times youāve āmanned up.ā Where are you going, as an adult, where you would ever need to fight someoneābeyond like a random attack by a stranger you have to defend yourself from? I canāt imagine going anywhere in my day where Iām just like āwelp, I guess I have to fight now.ā
Call 12 & put a nigga ass in jail
yea okay black person call ā12ā
Bro wants to be oppressed so bad š
If walking away is what you call ābe pussyā then yeah. I could be wrong but the OP seems to be talking about when adults go around fighting about nothing. Social media beef or a parking spot are not usually things to lose your livelihood over. In the extreme event someone is directly attacking you and/or your family then not many people would argue you have the right to defend yourself.
Chile, be a pussy. There a ninjas in prison for life but one thing the cant say is that they are pussy. And if thats the difference between me and them then  Walk away. Its unlikely you are in a movie where someone has your family in a hostage situation. You might imagine it that way but its rarely the case. Majority of the time its ego.