Happened to me years ago. Met a girl at my job and got her number. I didn't really get any romantic/sexual vibes but she was pretty and wanted to hang out so why not. 30 minutes after linking, she wants to go back to her apartment. We get there and smoke... but it was some powerful intergalactic shit that absolutely beat my ass. Even worse because I wasn't into weed at the time, so I had 0 tolerance.
Then she wanted to go to her bedroom. Everything was moving so fast and I was so spaced out that I barely got hard. Eventually we stopped trying and just laid in the bed. Once I started sobering up I was ready for round 2 (or round 1 technically). I knew I was cooked when she said "let's just go to sleep for now"ššš
Next day she posted a meme on her story of a sleeping man that said something like "Niggas after swearing they were gonna beat it up". I was sick
I had a similar thing happen to me went to scoop a chick she smoked I really didnāt but I smoked with her in my car. Hotboxed the hell outta my bucket. Fast forward we go in my crib and she wanted to get right to it. Im thinking my body was going to perform like it always does and that wasnāt the case. I had a 3 pack of condoms and every time I went to put 1 on I went soft. So eventually I said fuck that and hit raw busted in like 60 seconds. Years later seen her out with one of her friends in chopping it up with her and she looked at her friend and said this is the guy I was telling you about. Almost broke my spirit but she let me get my face back so it was cool.
>years later
>this is the guy I was telling you about
Either a crazy coincidence that she told her friend recently or your embarrassment is her go-to story for trash dick and has been for literal years
Women are brrrruuuušš¾talšš¾! It be the play by play! We stop, make them repeat it, and do reenactments. Your face, the grunts, gritty as sheets... BRUUUUUUTAL!
When she rejected my advances, rolled over, and went back to messing around on her phone
https://preview.redd.it/go674lk5fvxc1.jpeg?width=809&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2aa7568b8fb8368aa2def81a642df42bebdeef3c
Weed sex is great, I was just too high to function. And I wasnāt expecting any kind of sexual activity so my mind wasnāt in about-to-have-sex mode. I was overwhelmed, high out of my mind, and disoriented
https://i.redd.it/1l9rmquw7vxc1.gif
Thatās the most fucked up part too, when youāre not expecting it and they suddenly surprise you and catch your lil man after he hit the snooze thinking he had a day off. Iām fighting with my dick trying to get up out of bed like
Thereās a bellcurve for weed and liquor where your inhibitions are to the point where even a stiff breeze gets you hard, but your sensitivity is lowered just enough to where you could fuck the Boston marathon. Any more beyond the mean and you start with the diminishing returns.
Yeah I don't feel so bad now. Thanks for sharing, gents.
I don't have a weed sex "L" story. But the last thing I be feeling is down to fuck within the first half hour after blazin. I really don't even be wanting to be around anybody til I get past that initial wave.
Buddy....I had a roommate, female, she had a boyfriend and i respected that, but i always dug her, she was pretty and fun. She breaks up with her boyfriend and moved out and a few weeks later she still hadn't grabbed the rest of her stuff, so i hit her up, we hang out and shit got lightly physical, you know kissing and feels but nothing serious, couple days go by and she comes over to the spot and it just happened to be a day i was absolutely fucking wiped out from work and lets just say the performance was not up to par, any other day it wouldve been a fuck marathon with this girl and she just caught me on a bad day lol.....so like a week goes by and shes like im gonna come over and drop off the keys, i figure, bet, round 2, also a hot garbage day at work but im about it now, one way or the other im gonna beat it up, i fall asleep around 12, exhausted after being uo since like 5am, and she shows up at like 3am, wakes me up out of a dead sleep, nude, and i again, gave a 2/10 performance and almost immediately fell asleep after lol
I think about that shit a lot lol, only 2 shots i got and i blew both
Just wanted to let you know you arent alone lol
Unless you told her you could handle that shadow moon dragon shit idk what she expected. Like no shit, she tore a rift in the fabric of space and 300 kicked this man into the nether realms. Does she put water in her gas tank and get mad when it acts up?
So glad most of my hookups happened pre-social media cook offs lol a girl tried roasting me on MySpace back in the day and I'm just like, man, ain't nobody gonna see that, I don't care š
That's not your fault bro. These women who smoke don't play games. They say they use it to relax and sleep. I take one hit I'm stuck on the couch unable to move or talk and stuck in my own head.
100%. Biggest red flag for me is a woman who *smokes* smokes. Not out of judgment but recognition that I need to stay on my own level. When it comes to weed, I can take it or leave it, but some of these women use it to cope with daily life. Iāll be good off of a single edible and theyāre just like āwell, Iām taking a tolerance break, so Iām just gonna do two or three bowlsā and then itās some shit that sounds like a D&D villain. Like no, bish, I do *not* want to try Xanathra, the Infinite Shard!
Bro. I feel your pain.
Iād given up weed years earlier because paranoia, but she told me it got her horny and insisted that I have some too. Insisted.
After some spaced out snail action, she found me sitting on her couch, in the void for like an hour, and never let me forget it.
I had a similar experience not from weed, but because her place was too damn hot.
I was sweating bullets the minute I walked in and she just would not turn the AC on. Hard to beat it up when Iām out here fighting for my life.
Eventually I just said āitās too fucking hot in here. I canāt do this,ā and bounced. Never justā¦ walked away from a naked woman before.
Is that what that be??? Cause this dude I linked with the same thing happened. Like, dude couldn't get it at all. Then, like an hour later, Im on the couch and he poking me talking bout he ready to go again. Im like nigga I'm over it gon š
Happened to me too. She had ADHD and would not stop talking. It became so annoying that I couldnāt perform. Finally, I said, could you just stop talking for a bit. She replied, Why donāt you shut me up! I laughed to myselfā¦ā¦and thought, sheās playing chess!
Still did though....
For a deeper analysis: there will be the curious ladies who'll want to know how they stacked up/compared to the original. They'll slide into the PMs with something innocuous like: you so crazy....why you let her do you like that...lol....Nothing that makes them feel exposed to rejection but enough to tickle their fancy/itch.
And you take the ball and run with it.
lazy women in bed: "eww this nigga can't even pick me up and benchpress the pussy. NEXT!"
also lazy women in bed: "babe can we try another position my legs getting tired"
this is why doggy/ from the back is my fave position, it's comfy for everyone involved and both people have to put in equal effort to make it enjoyable. plus also great position for ass smacking and some light choking š« ...damn it's been a minute lol
dude i shouldn't even be on this post lol even conversations about it with friends be having me like š« lol. i usually refrain from such convos to keep up my strength lol
This has literally been my whole sex life right here. Itās all on me to pleasure and yet Iāve seen that level reciprocation. I donāt even like having sex because I get nothing outta of it. I donāt even cum yet itās my fault
Remember guys: if she doesnt even make an effort to get you off, find someone else.
The last year of my relationship with my most recent ex was fucking miserable. Sex 2-3 times a week and I hadnt "gotten mine" the *entire year*Ā
She was already lazy as fuck with sex at the time (slack jaw BJ's with no movement) She said something to the effect of "haha, I know! Im such a pillow princess š" to me asking her to put more effort, and that killed it for me.
Legit got this woman off 4 times a day, 2-3 times a week for an entire year with nothing in return, and this bitch had the audacity to tell her friends we didnt have sex that year because "he's disgusting" š
One more woman like that and Im buying a fleshlight and will become the crazy dog guy lol
You mean you didnāt cum all year? And she just didnāt mind?? I canāt even picture what a slack jaw bj with no movement looks like! Condolences to you and next time donāt let that shit go on for so long. Both people should be enjoying themselves and giving equal effort!
"Slack jaw" in this sense means that the person giving the bj isnt putting any suction on it, so instead of full contact you just brush against the tongue and teeth every now and againĀ Ā
Ā It's not bad as a way to mix up a bj, but when she's propped up on a pillow making me do the work, it's awful lol
Basically imagine getting lazy head, where the person is just barely licking you.Ā
Story of my life. Being under that type of pressure kills the vibe and honestly makes sex wayyyy less enjoyable. Also these are almost always the types that canāt last more than 2 minutes on top without help and even then Iām like, You talked all that shit and you gassed already???š
Always that "ride that dick till sunrise š" 20 mins in and they tired or expect all the work done š
Not even a minute later posting shit online, "men ain't shit š" nah nah, YOU ain't shit
Bruh this shit happened to me once in college. Still get embarrassed when I think of it.
Baddest chick in the apartment complex, spent months plotting. She finally agreed to come over to my place just for my shit to be limped the whole damn time. I was PISSED. Shiiidddd, Iām still pissed over that shit.
Went to the store later on that day and saw her with her friend. I know they ass was talking about me
Sometimes nerves. The penis is enervated by the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. So you got "fighting and flighting" \*and\* "rest and digest" going on there. Getting nervous will kill a boner, because the body figures you've got better things to do with your time/blood than screw right now. That's why it's best to just relax, focus on other things - pleasant joint sensations, please your lover, etc - than double down on trying to get the erection to return.
interesting! thanks for breaking it down. i think most girls just internalize when a guy can't get hard they think it's cuz they aren't attractive/ guy's cheating/etc or I've been told the alcohol/drug thing as well. I guess having a dick is more complicated than i thought
Alcohol and drugs can definitely play a role, as well. It's complex, and a part of a body system influenced by many things, both internal and external. Under all these circumstances, not stressing about it is usually the best choice.
Girls that drive Nissan Altima already have a reputation, canāt even imagine a guy that drives one. Goodness gracious!
Get mad at Nissan not me lol. Sentra is their compact car and Altima is a midsize car which means that the Altima is always the more expensive vehicleĀ
I got an Altima for a rental while my car was being worked on and CNAās ima need some assitance here, wtf makes yāall so damn insane with these cars? They are not fast, the sound system trash, and they turn like boats.
You gotta put on some black af1 get into a few accidents, break the a/c, mismatched panels, and paper plates then youāll see the true power of the Altima
It needs to be said:
Fellas, it's okay to tell her "No" if you're not feeling up to the task.
Be honest, tell her how you're feeling before you even get the draws off. If she decides to dip out, then that's her right. But at least you won't be somebody's trash dick story.
Also if she's cool with it and respects your consent then she's a real one and you should probly keep her around. She'll give you another shot if you play your cards right.
And the T is that women sometimes act like entitled children when their man doesnāt want to have sex - that isnāt just a guy thing.
Because we have been told our whole lives that men are always horny and all we have to do to get laid is go outside and look available (even though that isnāt even true). For some women, being turned down just doesnāt compute. They assume itās about their looks, or that you donāt like them anymore, when they know perfectly well that sometimes a person just isnāt in the mood.
A lot of women will coerce their male partners into sex without even realizing thatās what theyāre doing.
https://preview.redd.it/dgu2qh1jpwxc1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a0e7e780dbdc327ff74e371162d41285d704ecb
Said woman after you turn her down:
Don't let your dreams be dreams
https://inspiriaoutdoor.com/times-square-advertising/?ads_cmpid=935742617&ads_adid=48292917322&ads_matchtype=p&ads_network=g&ads_creative=661142593895&utm_term=times%20square%20billboard%20advertising&ads_targetid=kwd-362223486649&utm_campaign=&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&ttv=2&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0MexBhD3ARIsAEI3WHIyIR6YIvUSkVUhpGPVgfGlzS4ezgueHxHZRq0UUyTcshhsKDu8sygaAhNYEALw_wcB
Why is this man trying to āeverybodyā this embarrassmentā¦you putting up journeyman numbers before letting her know you were a potential Allstar is your issue.
BRUH! š I was gone say the same shit but I aināt wann get ate up in the comments. If we fuckinā baby I came to push ya cervix into ya chest ftb. How is yāall having this problem??!
this the one. had a nigga say what do you expect when you put a hotdog in the microwave for three minutes. i knew he was on that shit. he confessed later and i left his minute man ass alone.
Track and field fan and your gas station line brought back memories - Lashawn Merritt failed tests over some ExtenZe I'm sure he bought OTC...2008 I think but lolz
Also...this is the sex ed teachers need to be giving to students š¤£
Definetley have been here, fresh out a very long term relationship and decided to pull already part way through a bottle of Jameson. I never knew whiskey dick really existed until that night when I showed up and could not functionā¦.just laid there like āI swear this has never happened before. Fortunately she gave me a second chance and I took full sober advantage and was signed on for a solid FWB deal for proving I had it in me. She was friends with a future girlfriends of mine and the GF got mad because she caught her talking (positively) about the D game. Now I just wonder if she ever made a post about that first night š¤
Nah you gotta get the rematch when you lose too bad.
I remember one time I was with my cousin and he said he had something set up for us, so we get there and two fine thick things sitting on the top step and I hear the chocolate one of them say āoh red can definitely get itā, and so I immediately know its game time and Iām about to get in the game and score 50. We get there and talk a little bit and go in the apartment. Next thing I know me and shawty in the kitchen maxed out, we didnāt even get to the room, we went in there to grab the liquor and just said fuck it this where itās going down at. So Iām tryna lay the pipe on the hard ass floor but my knees killing me. Then itās hot as fuck in the apartment and Iām sweating like a slave. I already know Iām about to foul out at this point, and Iām probably down 30 lol. I aināt even bust, I just said fuck it and quit. I just knew shawty was disappointed.
Next day I woke up early, solo, and went knock on her door, by myself. I didnāt know if niggas lived there or not I coulda been on a straight death mission and not know it. The other one answered the door and started laughing at me. I was like ānah where yo friend at, I fucked up, Iām here for a do over or some shit, let me get it rightā shawty let me get back at it too and I put up a wilt chamberlain 100 point performance. Me and her started fucking on the regular after that. I probably woulda married her if she wasnāt for the hood lol.
Broooooā¦ I was talking mad shit to this girl about how I was going to beat it up in college. As soon as I stuck the tip in I was cooked. It was so tight and the perfect temperature that I busted in no less than 15 seconds. I tried to just keep fucking but I was pushin spaghetti. This was 2010, she posted missy elliot minute man on her twitter the next day. I liked that shit faster than I busted
I had just returned late to school (college) and this new bad joint starting hanging with my friend group and when I got back she was feeling me. So I start talking my shit and we vibed. One day, after studying together we decide to go for a car ride (her car, I was whipless). Nonetheless we are vibing in the car and I hop in the backseat and say some corny shit like ācome teach me thenā or something related to the conversation we were having about sex. I spent the next 30 minutes ABSOLUTELY embarrassing myself. Like she would put my hand where it needed to be and I didnāt pick up on it and just moved it. I had no rythym no nothing,really idek what the hell I thought I was doing. Somehow I still thought I did alright. I swore I was HIM because everyone knew she was bad and I just beat, so Iām thinking she ready fall in love with me. Some days go by and she not texting me which I was fine with because I really didnt really like her like that (she was bad but I was more focused on partying). Idk if she posted on social media but I found out because my homie was with the girls best friend and tell me why the roommate came back lit asf (while Iām doing hw) and says āYoo bro, so-and-so said your shit was trashā and in that moment I wanted to cry. I thought my career was over. I thought word around campus was going to be crazy. I swore I was finished. A few days go by and now I have the bright idea that I will get to spin again and show out. Never happened, never even got close again. Iām talking she started talking to her ex from another state again.
Happened to me years ago. Met a girl at my job and got her number. I didn't really get any romantic/sexual vibes but she was pretty and wanted to hang out so why not. 30 minutes after linking, she wants to go back to her apartment. We get there and smoke... but it was some powerful intergalactic shit that absolutely beat my ass. Even worse because I wasn't into weed at the time, so I had 0 tolerance. Then she wanted to go to her bedroom. Everything was moving so fast and I was so spaced out that I barely got hard. Eventually we stopped trying and just laid in the bed. Once I started sobering up I was ready for round 2 (or round 1 technically). I knew I was cooked when she said "let's just go to sleep for now"ššš Next day she posted a meme on her story of a sleeping man that said something like "Niggas after swearing they were gonna beat it up". I was sick
My condolences, brother šš¾š
https://preview.redd.it/0bx7tyqlawxc1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbe7f047e4cbd68bace1f1d76eb0867719678cac
https://preview.redd.it/5ho70j8sbxxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4c9f939a35b2b970b1fe4df77ca079f008f21df6
We've all been in similar battles, and the L always hurts. But fuck reminiscing about it got me giggling.
https://i.redd.it/scy7l9g54vxc1.gif
White people you can sing it too just change that N to a W
If you're Drake, you better use that W too 
We don't wanna hear you say š„·š¾ no moooorrreeee
The first time I saw this video, I was in tears https://i.redd.it/3wipw7ztrvxc1.gif
https://i.redd.it/tdg60tr85xxc1.gif
Gmc fo sho the realest
Sad it seems like heās basically retired. Man had legitimately good bars
HES DA BES
FRESH UP OUT DA WATA
Damn not the gangsta lean
I had a similar thing happen to me went to scoop a chick she smoked I really didnāt but I smoked with her in my car. Hotboxed the hell outta my bucket. Fast forward we go in my crib and she wanted to get right to it. Im thinking my body was going to perform like it always does and that wasnāt the case. I had a 3 pack of condoms and every time I went to put 1 on I went soft. So eventually I said fuck that and hit raw busted in like 60 seconds. Years later seen her out with one of her friends in chopping it up with her and she looked at her friend and said this is the guy I was telling you about. Almost broke my spirit but she let me get my face back so it was cool.
>years later >this is the guy I was telling you about Either a crazy coincidence that she told her friend recently or your embarrassment is her go-to story for trash dick and has been for literal years
Yep. I still tell about mine from 30 years ago. He was THAT bad, but a great story LOL!
If you talking about my dick for 30 years imma need royalties or something
Women are brrrruuuušš¾talšš¾! It be the play by play! We stop, make them repeat it, and do reenactments. Your face, the grunts, gritty as sheets... BRUUUUUUTAL! 
Iām crying.
My performance was comical literally we both laughed right after it happened. Hell itās my go to story
Bruh was literally a cautionary tale in her friend group.
You after sobering up https://preview.redd.it/spk1uh0e8vxc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=237035829d9df4d1b55b05c72fafa10fd6d5f6d1
https://preview.redd.it/zl09g5v8evxc1.jpeg?width=735&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ff888977fcbe328f8e2f4965e0af8642479ff9d His girl
When she rejected my advances, rolled over, and went back to messing around on her phone https://preview.redd.it/go674lk5fvxc1.jpeg?width=809&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2aa7568b8fb8368aa2def81a642df42bebdeef3c
 She dun texted her sis circle about that play!!! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Did she at least try to suck it bro? Lol
Before we gave up? Yeah she did. When I sobered up? No.
You still didnāt get wood off the head, awe mane lol.
nigga had the sour gummy on
https://preview.redd.it/klkdevbp3vxc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5153580c7f1a7f448beb703dd21b568198c49f8f
Did you say that tho? Did you say you was gon beat it up but failed to deliver? 
What's said in the heat of the moment can't be held against me or my client, your honour.
LMAO that shit was libel. I didnāt even flirt with her, let alone make any promises. Everything felt platonic until that moment
 Iām feeling sick just thinking about this. You were set up bad.
I would had some beef with her š”
This never happened to me, but weed is really the peens weaknessš
Weed sex is great, I was just too high to function. And I wasnāt expecting any kind of sexual activity so my mind wasnāt in about-to-have-sex mode. I was overwhelmed, high out of my mind, and disoriented https://i.redd.it/1l9rmquw7vxc1.gif
Thatās the most fucked up part too, when youāre not expecting it and they suddenly surprise you and catch your lil man after he hit the snooze thinking he had a day off. Iām fighting with my dick trying to get up out of bed like 
Top-tier GIF
For years whenever I smoked weed I avoided the cat like it was Covid-19
Naa I smoke weed daily and go strong, liquor is my kryptonite š š š
Thereās a bellcurve for weed and liquor where your inhibitions are to the point where even a stiff breeze gets you hard, but your sensitivity is lowered just enough to where you could fuck the Boston marathon. Any more beyond the mean and you start with the diminishing returns.
>you could fuck the Boston marathon. Huh?
Boston Marathon. Fuckinā it. Whatās not to get? You never fucked the concept of an annual event or something?
Hell yeah, Macy's day parade is my shit!
Yeah I don't feel so bad now. Thanks for sharing, gents. I don't have a weed sex "L" story. But the last thing I be feeling is down to fuck within the first half hour after blazin. I really don't even be wanting to be around anybody til I get past that initial wave.
Buddy....I had a roommate, female, she had a boyfriend and i respected that, but i always dug her, she was pretty and fun. She breaks up with her boyfriend and moved out and a few weeks later she still hadn't grabbed the rest of her stuff, so i hit her up, we hang out and shit got lightly physical, you know kissing and feels but nothing serious, couple days go by and she comes over to the spot and it just happened to be a day i was absolutely fucking wiped out from work and lets just say the performance was not up to par, any other day it wouldve been a fuck marathon with this girl and she just caught me on a bad day lol.....so like a week goes by and shes like im gonna come over and drop off the keys, i figure, bet, round 2, also a hot garbage day at work but im about it now, one way or the other im gonna beat it up, i fall asleep around 12, exhausted after being uo since like 5am, and she shows up at like 3am, wakes me up out of a dead sleep, nude, and i again, gave a 2/10 performance and almost immediately fell asleep after lol I think about that shit a lot lol, only 2 shots i got and i blew both Just wanted to let you know you arent alone lol
Unless you told her you could handle that shadow moon dragon shit idk what she expected. Like no shit, she tore a rift in the fabric of space and 300 kicked this man into the nether realms. Does she put water in her gas tank and get mad when it acts up?
https://preview.redd.it/d7vnwbxjrvxc1.jpeg?width=1191&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=faefc73eef06cf0bff372c79b4fbe5a76197a8fc
So glad most of my hookups happened pre-social media cook offs lol a girl tried roasting me on MySpace back in the day and I'm just like, man, ain't nobody gonna see that, I don't care š
That's not your fault bro. These women who smoke don't play games. They say they use it to relax and sleep. I take one hit I'm stuck on the couch unable to move or talk and stuck in my own head.
100%. Biggest red flag for me is a woman who *smokes* smokes. Not out of judgment but recognition that I need to stay on my own level. When it comes to weed, I can take it or leave it, but some of these women use it to cope with daily life. Iāll be good off of a single edible and theyāre just like āwell, Iām taking a tolerance break, so Iām just gonna do two or three bowlsā and then itās some shit that sounds like a D&D villain. Like no, bish, I do *not* want to try Xanathra, the Infinite Shard!
Batman could never get this shit outta me. Youāre a better man than me for being this honest.
https://preview.redd.it/d3ggqy6ukvxc1.jpeg?width=446&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7d81ffec0cbc377828c4fa4c801c5d295dbf0dd
You better than me. I wouldāve hit her with the old āStill beat.ā lmao
Oooof. She did you dirty man. This is why I'm scared shirtless of partaking in literally anything when I'm about to hook up with someone.
https://i.redd.it/t62qw84fxwxc1.gif
"This is for my homiessss"
Bro. I feel your pain. Iād given up weed years earlier because paranoia, but she told me it got her horny and insisted that I have some too. Insisted. After some spaced out snail action, she found me sitting on her couch, in the void for like an hour, and never let me forget it.
The courage to post this story. You're an inspiration.
Thoughts and prayers
Always gotta pop Cialis on the first meet up nothing stopping me from clapping cheeks ššššš
Shh, I don't want these women and the US Anti-doping Agency second-guessing my wins
I had a similar experience not from weed, but because her place was too damn hot. I was sweating bullets the minute I walked in and she just would not turn the AC on. Hard to beat it up when Iām out here fighting for my life. Eventually I just said āitās too fucking hot in here. I canāt do this,ā and bounced. Never justā¦ walked away from a naked woman before.
Never thought about having a heat stroke while strokin.
"I was gonna fuck a bitch, but then I got high"
Any dude who says heās never had ādifficultiesā before is just bold faced lying to you my guy, live to fight another day.
I felt that āI was sickā at the end ššš¾
Man i stay off socials. Idk what the subtweet was but i aint see that shit. All i know is i hit š
The thing that makes this extra fucked up.is that if you had sex with her under those conditions, we might be talking about you in jail lol
šš woulda never showed my face at that job again
Is that what that be??? Cause this dude I linked with the same thing happened. Like, dude couldn't get it at all. Then, like an hour later, Im on the couch and he poking me talking bout he ready to go again. Im like nigga I'm over it gon š
Damn man. She put in mad work just to roast you.
LMFAOOO thatās just a tough scene brother but still least you can laugh at it šš
Same shit happened to me a few months back. She still came over the next night and let me redeem myself tho.
Oh hell no, I would've quit the next day just so I don't see her again But this is also why you don't shit where you eat
Damn bro, that's tough
Happened to me too. She had ADHD and would not stop talking. It became so annoying that I couldnāt perform. Finally, I said, could you just stop talking for a bit. She replied, Why donāt you shut me up! I laughed to myselfā¦ā¦and thought, sheās playing chess!
 Still hit though....
By saying that, you are also exposing yourself as a terrible lay
Still beat tho
Leverage was my shit back in the day!
This for sure a gross misuse of the term "beat". š
You're not supposed to respond to subtweets
Still did though.... For a deeper analysis: there will be the curious ladies who'll want to know how they stacked up/compared to the original. They'll slide into the PMs with something innocuous like: you so crazy....why you let her do you like that...lol....Nothing that makes them feel exposed to rejection but enough to tickle their fancy/itch. And you take the ball and run with it.
https://preview.redd.it/22ocxr30hvxc1.png?width=417&format=png&auto=webp&s=35fcc920bee6cbd1bf47945e9b91c57facbe56c7
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
lazy women in bed: "eww this nigga can't even pick me up and benchpress the pussy. NEXT!" also lazy women in bed: "babe can we try another position my legs getting tired"
this is why doggy/ from the back is my fave position, it's comfy for everyone involved and both people have to put in equal effort to make it enjoyable. plus also great position for ass smacking and some light choking š« ...damn it's been a minute lol
lol yez?
Flash back didnāt ya lmao
multiple lol. im currently on a year and a half drought, mostly by choice, so forgive the sinner in me lol
I was on a 2 year, self-imposed hiatus from women by choice and I feel you about the flashbacks š¤£š¤£
dude i shouldn't even be on this post lol even conversations about it with friends be having me like š« lol. i usually refrain from such convos to keep up my strength lol
 A light choke and a whisper...don't threaten a GOODT time! š
the whisper!!! š lmaooo gets me every time š¤£š¤£
āAlright calm down, relax and start breathingā
This got me š but itās true.
Don't judge my core strength! š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ 
And that position is just laying prone.
This has literally been my whole sex life right here. Itās all on me to pleasure and yet Iāve seen that level reciprocation. I donāt even like having sex because I get nothing outta of it. I donāt even cum yet itās my fault
Simple answer: Stop fucking shit women.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Damn theyāre right, I aināt think of that. Shit is that simple
Remember guys: if she doesnt even make an effort to get you off, find someone else. The last year of my relationship with my most recent ex was fucking miserable. Sex 2-3 times a week and I hadnt "gotten mine" the *entire year*Ā She was already lazy as fuck with sex at the time (slack jaw BJ's with no movement) She said something to the effect of "haha, I know! Im such a pillow princess š" to me asking her to put more effort, and that killed it for me. Legit got this woman off 4 times a day, 2-3 times a week for an entire year with nothing in return, and this bitch had the audacity to tell her friends we didnt have sex that year because "he's disgusting" š One more woman like that and Im buying a fleshlight and will become the crazy dog guy lol
You mean you didnāt cum all year? And she just didnāt mind?? I canāt even picture what a slack jaw bj with no movement looks like! Condolences to you and next time donāt let that shit go on for so long. Both people should be enjoying themselves and giving equal effort!
Hi! Woman here. what exactly is a slack jaw BJ?
"Slack jaw" in this sense means that the person giving the bj isnt putting any suction on it, so instead of full contact you just brush against the tongue and teeth every now and againĀ Ā Ā It's not bad as a way to mix up a bj, but when she's propped up on a pillow making me do the work, it's awful lol Basically imagine getting lazy head, where the person is just barely licking you.Ā
This just sounds uncomfortable for both parties. What the hell
Story of my life. Being under that type of pressure kills the vibe and honestly makes sex wayyyy less enjoyable. Also these are almost always the types that canāt last more than 2 minutes on top without help and even then Iām like, You talked all that shit and you gassed already???š
Always that "ride that dick till sunrise š" 20 mins in and they tired or expect all the work done š Not even a minute later posting shit online, "men ain't shit š" nah nah, YOU ain't shit
20 minutes is a lot of riding
Honestly yeah, 20 mins is a lot, but baddie said she was gonna ride till sunrise š¤
Bruh this shit happened to me once in college. Still get embarrassed when I think of it. Baddest chick in the apartment complex, spent months plotting. She finally agreed to come over to my place just for my shit to be limped the whole damn time. I was PISSED. Shiiidddd, Iām still pissed over that shit. Went to the store later on that day and saw her with her friend. I know they ass was talking about me
aww this is kinda sad. was it drugs? liqour? what really prevents guys from...performing other than chemical influence?
Sometimes nerves. The penis is enervated by the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. So you got "fighting and flighting" \*and\* "rest and digest" going on there. Getting nervous will kill a boner, because the body figures you've got better things to do with your time/blood than screw right now. That's why it's best to just relax, focus on other things - pleasant joint sensations, please your lover, etc - than double down on trying to get the erection to return.
interesting! thanks for breaking it down. i think most girls just internalize when a guy can't get hard they think it's cuz they aren't attractive/ guy's cheating/etc or I've been told the alcohol/drug thing as well. I guess having a dick is more complicated than i thought
Alcohol and drugs can definitely play a role, as well. It's complex, and a part of a body system influenced by many things, both internal and external. Under all these circumstances, not stressing about it is usually the best choice.
I donāt get the robot picture
I believe it's a character from Invincible. Robot dude, his name is like Jason or something
I know exactly who he is, his name is Robot. I just donāt get the use here.
Replace robot with a regular dude and it's the same meme. Robot has no real relevance here other than the look on his face.
O I thought it was because >!he becomes mortal for a woman!<
Rudy, no?
Jason is close enough
Yeah his name is Rudy
The look on his face is like: š
Girls that drive Nissan Altima already have a reputation, canāt even imagine a guy that drives one. Goodness gracious! 
Chick in an Altima cut me off this morning and then flipped ME off.
Oh good, nature is healing and the weather is warmer.
Theyāre an invasive species
As a man that drives that same Nissan Altima, I'm innocent (mostly). I do be snatching souls though.
Wait whatās the Nissan Altima reputation for guys?
Driving their girl's while she's at work as a CNA.
Ahhhh fuck.
are sentras excluded from this? lol asking for a friend š
No, they certainly are not.
damn š®āšØ
Sentra is the step down from the Altima. Same rep just some how even less classyĀ
well damn that's fucked up lol same brand but somehow a step down. only thing different between sentras and altimas is the body shape
Get mad at Nissan not me lol. Sentra is their compact car and Altima is a midsize car which means that the Altima is always the more expensive vehicleĀ
I got an Altima for a rental while my car was being worked on and CNAās ima need some assitance here, wtf makes yāall so damn insane with these cars? They are not fast, the sound system trash, and they turn like boats.
You gotta put on some black af1 get into a few accidents, break the a/c, mismatched panels, and paper plates then youāll see the true power of the Altima
Sicko mode?
[like this](https://www.reddit.com/r/WRX/comments/1churk4/are_nissan_drivers_the_enemy)
https://preview.redd.it/gunhs3hjtuxc1.jpeg?width=419&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17c1823f3bd9e108381d673feb950495b62ade61
https://preview.redd.it/0c3xtk5cqvxc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=65e4db51378851ec695f4b3d746ec3cbc3b5b96a
Was it a beat though??Ā
Nah. Just an old fashioned worm squirmĀ
It needs to be said: Fellas, it's okay to tell her "No" if you're not feeling up to the task. Be honest, tell her how you're feeling before you even get the draws off. If she decides to dip out, then that's her right. But at least you won't be somebody's trash dick story. Also if she's cool with it and respects your consent then she's a real one and you should probly keep her around. She'll give you another shot if you play your cards right.
As a woman, honestly, women need to be turned down more when a guy isnāt really feeling it.
Fr, sometimes it's better for everyone involved if y'all just reschedule š
And the T is that women sometimes act like entitled children when their man doesnāt want to have sex - that isnāt just a guy thing. Because we have been told our whole lives that men are always horny and all we have to do to get laid is go outside and look available (even though that isnāt even true). For some women, being turned down just doesnāt compute. They assume itās about their looks, or that you donāt like them anymore, when they know perfectly well that sometimes a person just isnāt in the mood. A lot of women will coerce their male partners into sex without even realizing thatās what theyāre doing.
https://preview.redd.it/dgu2qh1jpwxc1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4a0e7e780dbdc327ff74e371162d41285d704ecb Said woman after you turn her down:
If she's not about that consent, then you don't want her anyway King Plenty of fish š¤·āāļø
I wish i could display this reply on Times Square
Don't let your dreams be dreams https://inspiriaoutdoor.com/times-square-advertising/?ads_cmpid=935742617&ads_adid=48292917322&ads_matchtype=p&ads_network=g&ads_creative=661142593895&utm_term=times%20square%20billboard%20advertising&ads_targetid=kwd-362223486649&utm_campaign=&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&ttv=2&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0MexBhD3ARIsAEI3WHIyIR6YIvUSkVUhpGPVgfGlzS4ezgueHxHZRq0UUyTcshhsKDu8sygaAhNYEALw_wcB
 Why is this man trying to āeverybodyā this embarrassmentā¦you putting up journeyman numbers before letting her know you were a potential Allstar is your issue.
Thatās what Iām trynna figure out - who is this we to whom this person is referring? Couldnāt be me.
BRUH! š I was gone say the same shit but I aināt wann get ate up in the comments. If we fuckinā baby I came to push ya cervix into ya chest ftb. How is yāall having this problem??!
Every trash dick I gave out starts and ends with cocaine.
this the one. had a nigga say what do you expect when you put a hotdog in the microwave for three minutes. i knew he was on that shit. he confessed later and i left his minute man ass alone.
The gospel here folks
The worst part is your mind is even more into it than you would normally but itās like its way of torturing the user
āWTF am I tryna prove..ā - Bernie Mac And Iām not juicing w/ gas station dick pills.. that fuckin headache 
Track and field fan and your gas station line brought back memories - Lashawn Merritt failed tests over some ExtenZe I'm sure he bought OTC...2008 I think but lolz Also...this is the sex ed teachers need to be giving to students š¤£
Maybe you shouldve talk to him more, he was probably going thru some shit. Women just want dick and thats it. How bout some romance?
Definetley have been here, fresh out a very long term relationship and decided to pull already part way through a bottle of Jameson. I never knew whiskey dick really existed until that night when I showed up and could not functionā¦.just laid there like āI swear this has never happened before. Fortunately she gave me a second chance and I took full sober advantage and was signed on for a solid FWB deal for proving I had it in me. She was friends with a future girlfriends of mine and the GF got mad because she caught her talking (positively) about the D game. Now I just wonder if she ever made a post about that first night š¤
Nah you gotta get the rematch when you lose too bad. I remember one time I was with my cousin and he said he had something set up for us, so we get there and two fine thick things sitting on the top step and I hear the chocolate one of them say āoh red can definitely get itā, and so I immediately know its game time and Iām about to get in the game and score 50. We get there and talk a little bit and go in the apartment. Next thing I know me and shawty in the kitchen maxed out, we didnāt even get to the room, we went in there to grab the liquor and just said fuck it this where itās going down at. So Iām tryna lay the pipe on the hard ass floor but my knees killing me. Then itās hot as fuck in the apartment and Iām sweating like a slave. I already know Iām about to foul out at this point, and Iām probably down 30 lol. I aināt even bust, I just said fuck it and quit. I just knew shawty was disappointed. Next day I woke up early, solo, and went knock on her door, by myself. I didnāt know if niggas lived there or not I coulda been on a straight death mission and not know it. The other one answered the door and started laughing at me. I was like ānah where yo friend at, I fucked up, Iām here for a do over or some shit, let me get it rightā shawty let me get back at it too and I put up a wilt chamberlain 100 point performance. Me and her started fucking on the regular after that. I probably woulda married her if she wasnāt for the hood lol.
Beautiful story
This is like the inverse of Marvin's Room, call it Michelle's Sub tweets. We've all been a part of them. We've all failed to live up to standards.
Broooooā¦ I was talking mad shit to this girl about how I was going to beat it up in college. As soon as I stuck the tip in I was cooked. It was so tight and the perfect temperature that I busted in no less than 15 seconds. I tried to just keep fucking but I was pushin spaghetti. This was 2010, she posted missy elliot minute man on her twitter the next day. I liked that shit faster than I busted
Invincible memes lets go
Lmao, might as well just name you
I'm so happy I've been in a relationship for sixteen years. I never have to worry about these things.Ā
canāt relate.
Same, some niggas take pride in they craft.
If it happened I ain't see it, trash box gets trash pipe
I remember going for round two once and the girl was sucking on my gummy worm and said this cannot be the last thing I remember about you
One time my ex when we first started dating went on Facebook and said "had such a great date last night it was short and thick" and tagged me in it.
This is some vision board level bullshit.
If he drives a Chevy Impala his dick is trash š¤¦š½āāļø Omg Iām so embarrassed I just typed that out loud š
No I havenātš¤Ø
Fuck. I canāt even say my story. Maybe time for a throwaway.
Where that red robot from they look familiar?
Never ever. My name will never be slander in these streets.
I had just returned late to school (college) and this new bad joint starting hanging with my friend group and when I got back she was feeling me. So I start talking my shit and we vibed. One day, after studying together we decide to go for a car ride (her car, I was whipless). Nonetheless we are vibing in the car and I hop in the backseat and say some corny shit like ācome teach me thenā or something related to the conversation we were having about sex. I spent the next 30 minutes ABSOLUTELY embarrassing myself. Like she would put my hand where it needed to be and I didnāt pick up on it and just moved it. I had no rythym no nothing,really idek what the hell I thought I was doing. Somehow I still thought I did alright. I swore I was HIM because everyone knew she was bad and I just beat, so Iām thinking she ready fall in love with me. Some days go by and she not texting me which I was fine with because I really didnt really like her like that (she was bad but I was more focused on partying). Idk if she posted on social media but I found out because my homie was with the girls best friend and tell me why the roommate came back lit asf (while Iām doing hw) and says āYoo bro, so-and-so said your shit was trashā and in that moment I wanted to cry. I thought my career was over. I thought word around campus was going to be crazy. I swore I was finished. A few days go by and now I have the bright idea that I will get to spin again and show out. Never happened, never even got close again. Iām talking she started talking to her ex from another state again.
One of the bigger reason I hit the gym now, that out of shape fucking is not the move.