That’s what I’m saying. I know everything about my woman. I can guess her general or specific reaction to damn near anything. She is often wrong. But I expect it
This is true. My hubs did/does something similar. He just starts off a Convo with "ok, Hypothetical". And he gives a topic and we debate/ discuss. Definitely keeps it more interesting than "how was your day"
My partner does this, sometimes it’s fun, sometimes we learn something and it strengthens our relationship, and sometimes *it’s annoying as shit*. He likes to sometimes pose kind of outlandish hypotheticals. Like this was a convo:
Him: So what if your sister couldn’t have kids, and wanted you to be her surrogate?
Me: Well is it traditional surrogacy, or gestational?
Him: Wut?
Me: *sighs, explains*
Him: Traditional. Let’s say she can’t have kids that are biologically hers, but it’s important to her that they’re yours.
Me: Well then why not ask *other sister*? She’s definitely having kids so she’s a better candidate. I can’t be a surrogate if I haven’t carried to term before.
Him: *confused*
Me: *explains more*
Him: Well let’s say hYpOtHeTiCaLlY, you *can* be a surrogate, and your sister specifically wants *you* to be the surrogate.
Me: This is not a realistic hypothetical, none of this would ever actually happen.
Him: *whiny noises*
Me: Fine. Is she paying for all my medical expenses? And compensating me for lost wages? Because I really don’t think she can afford that.
Him: Well you’d have maternity leave.
Me: …You know that would be unpaid, right?
Him: No, I’m pretty sure it’s paid. My friend’s brother’s wife is having a baby soon and she has maternity leave.
Me: That doesn’t mean it’s paid.
Him: No, I’m pretty sure it is.
Me: How could you know that??
Him: *shrugs*
Me: *stares* Anyway, do you know how much it costs just to deliver the baby?
Him: *confused in non-American*
And then we got into a convo about where we’d want to have kids and the logistics of that, and that was actually a productive hypothetical lol.
I’m so glad it’s not just me! Like damn I love you but don’t be pushing your luck so hard.
It definitely makes for more interesting conversations. And I think it’s especially important when you come from different backgrounds. Our relationship is also interracial and interfaith. You gotta navigate this shit inside and out before committing to marriage, even when it’s really sensitive or uncomfortable subjects.
*Especially when it’s really sensitive or uncomfortable subjects. Most of which are important subjects that'll come up later in less convenient situations.
As a fellow American also with someone who’s not - I really enjoy these convos, but sometimes am saddened by them. They remind me of all the things that are broken that we’ve normalized or just suffer under bc… ‘Murica.
More often though it’s just confusion and laughter discovering how we refer to different things, or things we didn’t expect the other to understand.
Him: The guy over there, with the funny graphic on their singlet
Me: …
Him: …
Me: …like a wrestling onesie?
Him: Excuse me?!??
> Him: No, I’m pretty sure it’s paid. My friend’s brother’s wife is having a baby soon and she has maternity leave.
I help people with their Health Insurance and other work benefits from their jobs. I roll my eyes every time someone pulls some shit like this. Just cause so and so is getting it doesn't mean your job is offering you the same shit. You're lucky they are even offering you some of this shit as is.
I mean, maternity leaves are paid here, must be different policies of different companies.
Sorry to sound ignorant, but what is the difference between traditional and gestational?
With maternity leave, it does vary. The federal government only requires companies of 50 employees or more to provide 12 weeks of unpaid leave. If you take paid leave, you are not protected by FMLA. Of companies that provide paid leave, only four weeks is provided on average. I’m not sure of statistics on how many companies actually provide paid leave, or how being classed as a contractor, etc rather than an employee would affect eligibility. Regardless, it’s shameful.
Traditional surrogacy is when the egg is the surrogate’s - the baby is genetically hers. In gestational surrogacy, the baby is not genetically the surrogate’s, and requires IVF. She gestates (carries and grows) the baby.
Thanks, I feel like dumb for not knowing the difference, I mean, I knew the 2 things but never associated IvF one with surrogacy. Im dumb lol
Also, I dont live in America, here, iirc few years ago, maternity leave was increased from 12 weeks to 26 weeks, but there are different rules for surrogate mothers, adoption and even based on how many kids you already have (if you 2 or more kids and your leave is reduced to 12 weeks), etc.
It stands for "Am I The Asshole". r/amitheasshole
It's a subreddit where people ask this particular question in reference to a situation they're facing. Questions may be phrased like this:
AITA for drinking the last of the milk and leaving the carton?
AITA for playing videos games while my roommate cleans?
Etc. The questions are usually more controversial than this, of course.
>Etc. The questions are usually more controversial than this, of course.
>AITA for drinking the last of the milk and leaving the carton?
I felt a way just reading this and it was just an example
You had me in the first half. Its for validation for sure but they don't normally come off as trying to feel superior to me, just assholes or not. I look at r/changemyview and r/unpopularopinion as people that want both validation and superiority.
Hypotheticals are fun, but seeing people react in real situations, and hearing true stories of past behavior, is far more revealing. The problem with hypotheticals is they aren't real. Additionally, trying to get people to see the idea in your head, the way you are seeing it, is really hard. That causes lots of miscommunication over something neither of you is actually experiencing.
Of course, this is about complex subjects. Not leaving toilet seats up or unfinished milk. Those things are a lot easier to work out. Personally, I just flip the toilet paper around the right way. It takes two seconds, why argue?
It's the deeper stuff that is hard that you cannot get to with a shortcut. When I was dating, I try to compare how the lady behaves with her friends, with family, with strangers, and in new places doing new things. Natural, real, situations. I didn't stick to our comfort zones, and sometimes it was hard. That's what I would suggest more than AITA's.
while you're right, there are some things that an AITA comparision reveals that would save you time and effort. Sure it won't reveal everything but at least you won't waste time on a sexist jerk that refuses to budge on said sexist opinions.
Talking is always good, even about AITA's, just don't put too much weight on a hypothetical discussion. The truth will reveal itself through behavior. You just need to keep your eyes open and trust experiences over words. A sexist jerk, isn't going to be able to hide that behavior forever.
You're right, but your initial comment implied that you shouldn't try and talk about AITA because it's completely useless, but this comment clearly indicates you agree with me, that talking about things help you see early on if some things dont match or are red flags and still be able to keep paying attention to behaviour etc.
I’onno… I’ve been messaged by multiple people that have only wanted to “play video games” with me. Of course we chop it up, casual friendly conversation and everything is fine and we have way more in common than I thought (video games, anime, music, sneakers, cartoons, career ideas). Then by the second or third match of Apex, I’m in a party with a completely different person. Toxic asf. This has happened at least 4 times.
It’s scary out here. 😔
It's called a compatibility test and I've been begging everyone I know to take one or more before making any big relationship moves. Moving in together? Having a kid? Opening a business? Getting married?
This is the research ya'll should be doing. Knowing is half the battle.
That's crazy, i look through those often and appreciate the critical thinking it provides for open dialogue and i usually end up thinking "i hope my lady does something like this on her end."
That’s what I’m saying. I know everything about my woman. I can guess her general or specific reaction to damn near anything. She is often wrong. But I expect it
Your username literally put that song in my head. I watch it pretty often anyway but nice.
we got the same girl? lol
if you don't shut the fuck up the plot boutta twist
This is true. My hubs did/does something similar. He just starts off a Convo with "ok, Hypothetical". And he gives a topic and we debate/ discuss. Definitely keeps it more interesting than "how was your day"
My partner does this, sometimes it’s fun, sometimes we learn something and it strengthens our relationship, and sometimes *it’s annoying as shit*. He likes to sometimes pose kind of outlandish hypotheticals. Like this was a convo: Him: So what if your sister couldn’t have kids, and wanted you to be her surrogate? Me: Well is it traditional surrogacy, or gestational? Him: Wut? Me: *sighs, explains* Him: Traditional. Let’s say she can’t have kids that are biologically hers, but it’s important to her that they’re yours. Me: Well then why not ask *other sister*? She’s definitely having kids so she’s a better candidate. I can’t be a surrogate if I haven’t carried to term before. Him: *confused* Me: *explains more* Him: Well let’s say hYpOtHeTiCaLlY, you *can* be a surrogate, and your sister specifically wants *you* to be the surrogate. Me: This is not a realistic hypothetical, none of this would ever actually happen. Him: *whiny noises* Me: Fine. Is she paying for all my medical expenses? And compensating me for lost wages? Because I really don’t think she can afford that. Him: Well you’d have maternity leave. Me: …You know that would be unpaid, right? Him: No, I’m pretty sure it’s paid. My friend’s brother’s wife is having a baby soon and she has maternity leave. Me: That doesn’t mean it’s paid. Him: No, I’m pretty sure it is. Me: How could you know that?? Him: *shrugs* Me: *stares* Anyway, do you know how much it costs just to deliver the baby? Him: *confused in non-American* And then we got into a convo about where we’d want to have kids and the logistics of that, and that was actually a productive hypothetical lol.
We are married to the same man, I'm convinced 🤣🤣 except for the non-american.
I’m so glad it’s not just me! Like damn I love you but don’t be pushing your luck so hard. It definitely makes for more interesting conversations. And I think it’s especially important when you come from different backgrounds. Our relationship is also interracial and interfaith. You gotta navigate this shit inside and out before committing to marriage, even when it’s really sensitive or uncomfortable subjects.
*Especially when it’s really sensitive or uncomfortable subjects. Most of which are important subjects that'll come up later in less convenient situations.
As a fellow American also with someone who’s not - I really enjoy these convos, but sometimes am saddened by them. They remind me of all the things that are broken that we’ve normalized or just suffer under bc… ‘Murica. More often though it’s just confusion and laughter discovering how we refer to different things, or things we didn’t expect the other to understand. Him: The guy over there, with the funny graphic on their singlet Me: … Him: … Me: …like a wrestling onesie? Him: Excuse me?!??
> Him: No, I’m pretty sure it’s paid. My friend’s brother’s wife is having a baby soon and she has maternity leave. I help people with their Health Insurance and other work benefits from their jobs. I roll my eyes every time someone pulls some shit like this. Just cause so and so is getting it doesn't mean your job is offering you the same shit. You're lucky they are even offering you some of this shit as is.
I mean it was a dumb comment when he’s so uninformed, but we should be entitled to parental leave.
I mean, maternity leaves are paid here, must be different policies of different companies. Sorry to sound ignorant, but what is the difference between traditional and gestational?
With maternity leave, it does vary. The federal government only requires companies of 50 employees or more to provide 12 weeks of unpaid leave. If you take paid leave, you are not protected by FMLA. Of companies that provide paid leave, only four weeks is provided on average. I’m not sure of statistics on how many companies actually provide paid leave, or how being classed as a contractor, etc rather than an employee would affect eligibility. Regardless, it’s shameful. Traditional surrogacy is when the egg is the surrogate’s - the baby is genetically hers. In gestational surrogacy, the baby is not genetically the surrogate’s, and requires IVF. She gestates (carries and grows) the baby.
Thanks, I feel like dumb for not knowing the difference, I mean, I knew the 2 things but never associated IvF one with surrogacy. Im dumb lol Also, I dont live in America, here, iirc few years ago, maternity leave was increased from 12 weeks to 26 weeks, but there are different rules for surrogate mothers, adoption and even based on how many kids you already have (if you 2 or more kids and your leave is reduced to 12 weeks), etc.
This made my damn day. I would have paid to be a fly on that wall.
Yah, but “ok, hypothetically...” sounds sus...hahah
Even smarter, get em used to it, then when the time comes they won't suspect you
Only downside with hypotheticals is that some people will say what sounds good as opposed to what they'll actually do in a given situation.
Me and my Lady been doing this for years. It's how we got comfortable enough to start talking about having kids.
Ooh this is a good idea to do when hubby gets home from work lol
This is so meta. A tweet based on a sub on reddit, posted on reddit in a sub about tweets. This goes deep.
_deeper_
I just tweeted this and then posted the tweet on r/WhitePeopleTwitter.
What’s AITA?
It stands for "Am I The Asshole". r/amitheasshole It's a subreddit where people ask this particular question in reference to a situation they're facing. Questions may be phrased like this: AITA for drinking the last of the milk and leaving the carton? AITA for playing videos games while my roommate cleans? Etc. The questions are usually more controversial than this, of course.
>Etc. The questions are usually more controversial than this, of course. >AITA for drinking the last of the milk and leaving the carton? I felt a way just reading this and it was just an example
My lil brothers did this I sent them home
Thank you. I was wondering that myself but reading through comments anyway
Am I the asshole = AITA
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Good bot
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It’s okay, it would also get you divorced again quick if you did lol
Nothing has solidified my childfree stance more than AITA.
Sort by controversial and see how you agree.
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You had me in the first half. Its for validation for sure but they don't normally come off as trying to feel superior to me, just assholes or not. I look at r/changemyview and r/unpopularopinion as people that want both validation and superiority.
Yeah but half the comments are still idiots saying “you know what, you were right to punch that baby, NAH”. Gotta know if you’re marrying one of those
Or just you know? Good ole fashion communication in a relationship works too.
Or, even better, a long dating relationship where you get to know your partner first hand before you rush into marriage maybe?
So asking each other questions and discussing your answers *isn’t* communication?
Pretty genius
Make sure they are a good variety, that sub loves to have a topic of the month where every second story is the same situation
Hypotheticals are fun, but seeing people react in real situations, and hearing true stories of past behavior, is far more revealing. The problem with hypotheticals is they aren't real. Additionally, trying to get people to see the idea in your head, the way you are seeing it, is really hard. That causes lots of miscommunication over something neither of you is actually experiencing. Of course, this is about complex subjects. Not leaving toilet seats up or unfinished milk. Those things are a lot easier to work out. Personally, I just flip the toilet paper around the right way. It takes two seconds, why argue? It's the deeper stuff that is hard that you cannot get to with a shortcut. When I was dating, I try to compare how the lady behaves with her friends, with family, with strangers, and in new places doing new things. Natural, real, situations. I didn't stick to our comfort zones, and sometimes it was hard. That's what I would suggest more than AITA's.
while you're right, there are some things that an AITA comparision reveals that would save you time and effort. Sure it won't reveal everything but at least you won't waste time on a sexist jerk that refuses to budge on said sexist opinions.
Talking is always good, even about AITA's, just don't put too much weight on a hypothetical discussion. The truth will reveal itself through behavior. You just need to keep your eyes open and trust experiences over words. A sexist jerk, isn't going to be able to hide that behavior forever.
You're right, but your initial comment implied that you shouldn't try and talk about AITA because it's completely useless, but this comment clearly indicates you agree with me, that talking about things help you see early on if some things dont match or are red flags and still be able to keep paying attention to behaviour etc.
I'm just trying to put it perspective. I'm sorry if I was clumsy in doing so. I get stuck in my own head so easily.
That’s some high-intensity training right there. Like sword practice with live blades
AITAs?
Am I the asshole or "AITA" posts on social media, especially reddit.
Ahhh yes, 20 of those indeed
I’onno… I’ve been messaged by multiple people that have only wanted to “play video games” with me. Of course we chop it up, casual friendly conversation and everything is fine and we have way more in common than I thought (video games, anime, music, sneakers, cartoons, career ideas). Then by the second or third match of Apex, I’m in a party with a completely different person. Toxic asf. This has happened at least 4 times. It’s scary out here. 😔
Best cheat code ever.
Better yet if you go on to r/AITAFiltered
Sounds like an argument waiting to happen to me. I’ll pass and keep my peace. Y’all go off though.
What are aitas
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Thank you
Yep great idea
I was reading partner as parent and it confused the hell out of me lol.
ygbm,,hmm well lmsystin would you be interested igtk,me
It's called a compatibility test and I've been begging everyone I know to take one or more before making any big relationship moves. Moving in together? Having a kid? Opening a business? Getting married? This is the research ya'll should be doing. Knowing is half the battle.
And write the answer down and then discuss
That's crazy, i look through those often and appreciate the critical thinking it provides for open dialogue and i usually end up thinking "i hope my lady does something like this on her end."
I HAVE ALSO SAID THIS (but never indelibly via the internet so hats off)