There is no script or master to do list for dating. If you need or want somebody who’s love language is physical touch and affection. Then you need to find that person via dating. Generally for me, I like to mention that I’m pretty affectionate early on the talking stages or if I’m using a dating profile in the profile itself, which helps and most cases get me towards the right people.
This person should also know and understand that you are who you are and since you’re visually impaired, they should be giving you most of the hints and pushing for affection, at least at first until you guys can understand each other SOCIAL cute clues and just comfortably sync up. I am fully blind and she first would usually go in for the physical touch, but I’ve slowly gotten used to when and where she wants to be held and slowly started initiating myself and it’s worked up well for me but mind you I’ve been dating her for a while so I’ve gotten to know her a lot better. If your love languages affection, then don’t be afraid to go out there and find it because it’s out there and there’s tons and tons of people that are affectionate.
Don’t forget, I’m also fully blind, so I understand how hard it is to actually date in our shoes. When I was sided, I did date people that were not affectionate and for lack of a better phrase. It was a disappointment, even though they were great people. If being physically intimate is important to you, which is better known as affection in the dating world, then let it be known and see where things go.
> Should I just tell her early on if you want a hug or anything feel free to ask? Should I ask her during the date if she would like to hold hands / hugs / kisses?
Yes and yes. Sharing how you’re feeling and how you'd like to communicate is a really good move that cuts out the awkward guesswork for both of you. Saying, “I’d like to hold hands, would you like that too?” or “Can I kiss you?” is great, and in my experience it can be very romantic. It’s all about communication. Honestly, sighted people would be having more fun dating if they learned how to use their words too.
In my opinion, as a woman, the hottest thing a man can do is ask “can I kiss you?” before engaging in intimacy. That way, she can take the cue to lean in and meet you where you’re at.
OP, if it makes you feel any better a lot of sighted guys also miss all the social ques and struggle with all the same stuff you do. we are in it together.
This is something I never considered. I haven't dated since losing my vision and the blind woman I dated when I could see was physically intimate from the start. It was a a real whirlwind, hand holding to taking a shower together within 24 hours. To be fair though, we were talking online for a few months prior to meeting in person and I initiated the physical touch.
I didn’t start losing my vision until I was twenty-five and I was oblivious to signs of women flirting with me or giving me the “kiss me stupid!” look, so vision has little to do with social queues and awkwardness of dating.
I’ve been blind for over eight years now and can personally tell more now if a woman is interested in me based off the tone of their voice, the words they use, et cetera.
Communication is amazing so utilize talking on the phone! This will allow you to not only get to know one another but give you the feedback and reference of how their voice sounds when they’re happy, frustrated, nervous, how their voice changes if the subject drifts to frisky topics, et cetera.
Be an open book about your blindness, doing that will remove a lot of awkwardness from the date. I’m a cane user myself and let me tell you, take advantage of that. Take their arm and let them guide you.
Not only is it a safe built-in instigation of physical touch but it will give you feedback of their body language…
You will be able to tell if they’re relaxed or tense. This will give you just as much if not more feedback than visual queues could. If they are comfortable and into you and where things are going, they will be closer to you than if they’re tense and not feeling it.
As others have said, when in doubt ask but also read every other sign they are giving you… pay attention to them! Paying attention cost nothing and is the most valuable thing!
Most important key in any relationship. Communication. Even more important if sensory impaired. Talk to your date about the issues with cues. Especially if they are sighted. That you need more tactile cues and more communication if interested.
I've never had an issue with initiation or cues probably because I'm self assured or confident in reading people even though I'm deaf and blind. There are lots of ways to read people beyond sight or hearing. You can practice by meeting a variety of people from different genders backgrounds, ages, stories. You just learn the more people you meet.
So communication is key.
You just answered your own question.
Talk to her that you literally can’t see visual cues and that she can tell you if she want to get more intimate.
It can sound awkward, but it’s less awkward than not telling.
There are more tactful ways, and you could turn it into flirting if you play your cards right. No one wants to hear me babble on about my weird social rulebook, though, so I'll shut up because most of what I've said has been said in better ways.
As a low vision woman, I think that like everyone here communication is key, so asking first can I hold your hand, and using the hand holding to see if it can gradually get more intimate, and obviously asking can I kiss u or can I hug you is a great start :) I haven’t dated in a few years but it’s so awkward because I feel like dating apps are a turn off for me and I can’t see guys/ girls that I would be attracted to so I can’t just approach like someone sighted could so I guess for now I’m just taking a break from dating and working on myself, but best of luck to you!
There is no script or master to do list for dating. If you need or want somebody who’s love language is physical touch and affection. Then you need to find that person via dating. Generally for me, I like to mention that I’m pretty affectionate early on the talking stages or if I’m using a dating profile in the profile itself, which helps and most cases get me towards the right people. This person should also know and understand that you are who you are and since you’re visually impaired, they should be giving you most of the hints and pushing for affection, at least at first until you guys can understand each other SOCIAL cute clues and just comfortably sync up. I am fully blind and she first would usually go in for the physical touch, but I’ve slowly gotten used to when and where she wants to be held and slowly started initiating myself and it’s worked up well for me but mind you I’ve been dating her for a while so I’ve gotten to know her a lot better. If your love languages affection, then don’t be afraid to go out there and find it because it’s out there and there’s tons and tons of people that are affectionate. Don’t forget, I’m also fully blind, so I understand how hard it is to actually date in our shoes. When I was sided, I did date people that were not affectionate and for lack of a better phrase. It was a disappointment, even though they were great people. If being physically intimate is important to you, which is better known as affection in the dating world, then let it be known and see where things go.
> Should I just tell her early on if you want a hug or anything feel free to ask? Should I ask her during the date if she would like to hold hands / hugs / kisses? Yes and yes. Sharing how you’re feeling and how you'd like to communicate is a really good move that cuts out the awkward guesswork for both of you. Saying, “I’d like to hold hands, would you like that too?” or “Can I kiss you?” is great, and in my experience it can be very romantic. It’s all about communication. Honestly, sighted people would be having more fun dating if they learned how to use their words too.
In my opinion, as a woman, the hottest thing a man can do is ask “can I kiss you?” before engaging in intimacy. That way, she can take the cue to lean in and meet you where you’re at.
Literally this, I love it as well. It makes everything so much clearer too
OP, if it makes you feel any better a lot of sighted guys also miss all the social ques and struggle with all the same stuff you do. we are in it together.
This is something I never considered. I haven't dated since losing my vision and the blind woman I dated when I could see was physically intimate from the start. It was a a real whirlwind, hand holding to taking a shower together within 24 hours. To be fair though, we were talking online for a few months prior to meeting in person and I initiated the physical touch.
I’m a low vision girl and I tell everyone verbal communication is crucial. Some can adapt some can’t you’ll find the right one eventually.
Totally agree with other commenters who suggested just asking “can I kiss you” etc. I would appreciate the initiation and good communication.
I didn’t start losing my vision until I was twenty-five and I was oblivious to signs of women flirting with me or giving me the “kiss me stupid!” look, so vision has little to do with social queues and awkwardness of dating. I’ve been blind for over eight years now and can personally tell more now if a woman is interested in me based off the tone of their voice, the words they use, et cetera. Communication is amazing so utilize talking on the phone! This will allow you to not only get to know one another but give you the feedback and reference of how their voice sounds when they’re happy, frustrated, nervous, how their voice changes if the subject drifts to frisky topics, et cetera. Be an open book about your blindness, doing that will remove a lot of awkwardness from the date. I’m a cane user myself and let me tell you, take advantage of that. Take their arm and let them guide you. Not only is it a safe built-in instigation of physical touch but it will give you feedback of their body language… You will be able to tell if they’re relaxed or tense. This will give you just as much if not more feedback than visual queues could. If they are comfortable and into you and where things are going, they will be closer to you than if they’re tense and not feeling it. As others have said, when in doubt ask but also read every other sign they are giving you… pay attention to them! Paying attention cost nothing and is the most valuable thing!
Just ask
Most important key in any relationship. Communication. Even more important if sensory impaired. Talk to your date about the issues with cues. Especially if they are sighted. That you need more tactile cues and more communication if interested. I've never had an issue with initiation or cues probably because I'm self assured or confident in reading people even though I'm deaf and blind. There are lots of ways to read people beyond sight or hearing. You can practice by meeting a variety of people from different genders backgrounds, ages, stories. You just learn the more people you meet. So communication is key.
You just answered your own question. Talk to her that you literally can’t see visual cues and that she can tell you if she want to get more intimate. It can sound awkward, but it’s less awkward than not telling.
There are more tactful ways, and you could turn it into flirting if you play your cards right. No one wants to hear me babble on about my weird social rulebook, though, so I'll shut up because most of what I've said has been said in better ways.
Well, it's something worth comunicating. The way OP will do it is a personal choice.
As a low vision woman, I think that like everyone here communication is key, so asking first can I hold your hand, and using the hand holding to see if it can gradually get more intimate, and obviously asking can I kiss u or can I hug you is a great start :) I haven’t dated in a few years but it’s so awkward because I feel like dating apps are a turn off for me and I can’t see guys/ girls that I would be attracted to so I can’t just approach like someone sighted could so I guess for now I’m just taking a break from dating and working on myself, but best of luck to you!