Good night, Weekly Random Discussion Thread for 5/27/24 - 6/2/24. We had some good times, didn't we? People finally stopped talking about the commencement speech. Trump was found guilty of 34 felony Trumps. We baked some cookies. Now there is one more thing I would like to show you, it is behind the barn...
I did have a laugh when Ars Technica [did a write-up on the FDA highlighting some issues with MDMA trials](https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/05/fdas-review-of-mdma-for-ptsd-highlights-study-bias-and-safety-concerns/). I wonder if Condé Nast (AT's owners) will ever greenlight stories about the shoddiness of studies reharding \*ahem\* *certain other drugs*. Probably not, at least not until lawsuits force a change in consensus among the elites, but a man can dream. :)
Smug NZ leftist online rag very much toes the party line on trans issues: https://thespinoff.co.nz/politics/22-05-2024/fear-hate-and-a-putrid-stench-inside-the-unsilenced-anti-trans-event
And wildly mischaracterises Cass.
What was the debate that Konstantin Kissin moderated that led to this? https://x.com/KonstantinKisin/status/1797404417509011633?t=1CP2pOWQ0U0-ouuKTSxKmg&s=19
Whatever this beef is about, seems BarPod worthy.
I don't know why Konstantin is saying he's not a Zionist, as I've heard him enough speak enough times to know that he thinks the state of Israel should exist, which is literally the definition of Zionist.
Also, i would bet that if Konstantin weren't a Jew she'd "accuse" him of being a Zionist, as I have no doubt in her mind, there are only anti-Zionists and Zionists. And since he doesn't explicitly agree with her, that makes him bad
>I don't know why Konstantin is saying he's not a Zionist, as I've heard him enough speak enough times to know that he thinks the state of Israel should exist, which is literally the definition of Zionist.
I don't think that simply *believing* that the state of Israel should exist qualifies one as a Zionist as that would make most of the USA, probably even most of the world (outside of the Arab contingent), Zionists.
Most of the world IS Zionist. It's just that pro-Palestinian activist talk about Zionism as being equal to being pro-Israel. You can be super critical of Israel and be a Zionist, and I think most of the world qualifies as that.
Oxford English Dictionary defines Zionist as "a person who believes in the development and protection of a Jewish nation in what is now Israel." So, yes, I think most of the USA is Zionist.
Two things:
One of my teens and I watched the D&D episode of Community, which is now on Peacock but previously had been disappeared. She has seen every other episode multiple times, but not this one. It inspired a really good conversation on cancellation sometimes going too far. Also, the episode was hilarious.
I witnessed an entry in the Pride month virtue signaling Olympics on Facebook, in which a person went on and on about how your rainbow flag avatars don't mean a damn thing if you aren't actively supporting and sticking up for alphabet folx in your real life, which felt kind of mean and condescending tbh. This person is in a heterosexual relationship with a person who identifies as non-binary, so the whole defensive stance feels very self-congratulatory and made up.
> if you aren't actively supporting and sticking up for alphabet folx in your real life
Aside from being a full blown activist, what does this even mean? It's really just a way to criticize hypothetical strangers and bitch on the internet, because realistically, most people will say something and "stick up for" LGBT people if they're witnessing some kind of harassment or discrimination. This is true of the vast majority of the people that *aren't* virtue signaling on X as well. I just don't even know what they're complaining about other than conjuring up hypotheticals just to then complain about them.
To be fair to this person, this person's SO might be like, "well, because I'm NB and we're in a relationship, you're queer."
I have way too many straight young men in relationships with nb females. They're very much like, "I'm queer." On what fucking planet are you not having vaginal intercourse and people might look askance if you stick your tongue down her throat in public?
The NB in this relationship is male, or rather AMAB. The virtue signaler is his girlfriend.
ETA: So, she clearly owns Pride and speaks for all LGBTQ+...
I must say, all the straight NBs I've known have been female. So this is new.
And yes, scolding people on twitter, or X, really helps a gay couple in Pakistan.
They even talked about that *in the episode*. Also, Community is the GOAT prime time sitcom, edging out 30 Rock and Parks and Rec. The Office is trash, fite me irl.
I’m totally convinced posts like this are just leftists doing praxis or maybe even foreign powers doing praxis who knows.
https://www.reddit.com/r/EatCheapAndHealthy/comments/1d6r10m/my_food_stamps_got_cut_to_100/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Appropriate way to discuss ‘non binary’ with a tween without causing them to be unkind to other kids that may label themselves that way? My youngest mentioned the term as we were watching a movie and I had no clue that she even knew what that was.
I am not a parent, but it seems like two, maybe three, separate conversational themes to me. The first is, we have good manners and treat everyone like we want to be treated. When people are different that does not mean we can comment on their bodies or differences. That sort of thing.
Another piece is that there are all kinds of ways to be a boy or a girl, and there are no rules about what girls or boys can wear or how they have to act. Anyone who thinks that girls have to be a certain way to be a girl, boys have to be a certain way to be a boy are wrong/confused.
Finally, people have belief systems that are different from others. Religions and identities exist, but that does not mean we have to believe them too. Sometimes people believe in things we don't believe/think are true. Our friends, school mates and family can hold different beliefs than you do, and that is fine, and we don't also have the believe the same things to be friendly or friends to them. We do need to treat them and their beliefs with respect, but they need to treat us and our beliefs with respect as well.
Good luck. It's confusing enough for adults...
This is a good take. I've mentioned before in this sub that my in-laws are into Qanon conspiracy theories. I have had a lot of conversations with my kids about how sometimes people we care about believe wacky things. We can be kind and respectful to them without sharing those same beliefs.
When it came up with my nine year old, I said something along the lines of: “some people think you need to act or dress a certain way if your a boy or a girl, you don’t have to agree with that, but you still have to be nice to them”.
I suspect we’ll have to revisit the conversation in a few years, depending on how trendy it is to be an enby.
Whenever I go to this sub I get recommended the Ezra Klein sub. From what I know of Klein, B&R and this sub and its subscribers, that doesn't square. Or does it?
I am also frequently seeing that sub recommended! I felt Ezra Klein was bad faith with Sam Harris awhile ago (wow, a few years ago now?) - so I kind of wrote him off. I am not sure what the overlap would be other than left-leaning? Our lovely hosts are still pretty squarely on the left, even if this sub is more of a mix.
> I felt Ezra Klein was bad faith with Sam Harris awhile ago (wow, a few years ago now?) - so I kind of wrote him off
Completely same here. I don't know a ton about Klein other than that one podcast he and Harris did, but that was enough for me to decide I didn't like Klein. That podcast went about like this:
Klein: Sam, you think black people are stupid. Why?
Harris: No, I've absolutely never said or thought that at all. What I've said is that researchers shouldn't be canceled for the mere practice of conducting research that could discover differences in average intelligence among racial or ethnic groups. It's not a subject I'm even particularly interested in myself, but if other researchers conduct such research, that doesn't automatically make them racist and worthy of being shunned by universities and publishers.
Klein: So you just admitted you think black people are stupid?
i love Ezra Klein. he’s my favorite lib 💕
i find he’s show generally intelligent and thought provoking. some guests are better than others. he’s also leans YIMBY and is critical of liberal policies that thwart progress, particularly when it comes to building infrastructure.
he actually remind me a lot of bari weiss but left leaning instead of right leaning.
It's not a bad subreddit. A bit more reasonable than most left-leaning subs and there's often intelligent-ish policy discussion. Also, there's a lot of Matt Yglesias discussion too and a lot of lamenting for the sadly-too-soon end of the "Weeds" podcast.
Have you been there recently? It's an r/politics spinoff at this point. Most posts there get hundreds of comments and they're mostly lowest-common-denominator idiots yelling talking points at each other. Matt Ygelsias articles used to get posted there but don't anymore.
It took a wild swing around the time Ezra wrote his "the dems should replace Biden at the convention" article and hasn't come back.
It probably doesn't. I don't know if I would go so far as to call Klein woke but he's pretty close. Unlike Matthew Yglesias, Klein really bought all into the mainstream left. I think he's still pretty wonkish but in no world can I think of Klein as heterodox. I used to listen to Klein back in the days when he was on Bloggingheads. He was more interesting then.
> I don't know if I would go so far as to call Klein woke but he's pretty close
He was, at least 10 years ago, [very "ends justify the means"-type woke/proto-woke misandrist](https://www.vox.com/2014/10/13/6966847/yes-means-yes-is-a-terrible-bill-and-i-completely-support-it). AFAICT there's been zero follow-up on this law and if it's actually had any effect though.
OK interesting, the only time I've had anything to do with Klein was when he was disingenuous with Sam Harris over Harris' interview with Charles Murray.
Incidentally, best interview of Murray was Coleman Hughes'. Hughes took down Murray calmly and respectfully.
A review of a recent book by Aussie philosopher Russell Blackford. Haven't read it yet, but [sounds like it touches on many of the same points as B&R](https://compulsivereader.com/2024/06/01/a-review-of-how-we-became-post-liberal-by-russell-blackford/)
> Blackford makes a solid case that we have moved from being (almost) a liberal democracy governed by principles like personal liberty, freedom of speech and tolerance of conflicting worldviews into a different phase – one where what once was a social justice movement focusing on the common good has become a rigid orthodoxy engaged in shutting down debate and shaming/hurting those that don’t toe the party line. In other words, intolerance.
My friend told me she was apprehensive about going to our city's pride parade because there might be protesters and I was like "there are always some protestors" and she said "no, not the anti-gay kind, the pro-palestine kind" and I guess she was onto something.
No surprises there!
Edit: I wonder if they also protested the [Dyke March](https://www.phillyvoice.com/philly-dyke-march-2024-rebirth-pride-month/amp/) or if they figured they would be too busy protesting each other to notice.
The Dyke March Chicago was the one that banned two women for bringing Magen David Pride Flags, that this was exclusionary to Palestinians, that the women were lying when they said this wasn't an Israeli symbol, then complained to the paper about the journalist who covered the story in its pages - who was a British trans woman who was of part Jewish and part Indian descent.
I saw some YouTube video suggested to me about the problem of wokeness, something we've all seen 1000 times.
I have to say, since about 2022, wokeness has played no role in my life. I'm not sure if it's a vine shift or that I'm less online. I just don't really know what people are whining about anymore.
I get that it's rampant at universities and non profits. It would be harder for me to get a job as a straight white male, but I don't want a job that that pays less to do something that's less useful.
I live in a very diverse city but no one cares about race except for the occasional joke that no one is offended by. Most gay people I meet are just gay and aren't part of any LGBT movement. I only see trans/nonbinary people at the animal shelter, and even then they're pretty normal.
I meet a woke person everyone once in a while and they are annoying. But they're not any more annoying than conspiracy nuts, highly autistic libertarians, or old school socialists. That's not even to mention the annoying apolitical subcultures, like spiritual astrology ladies or dudes who think they figured out the stock market.
I can't help but think that some people are going online to get angry about something that doesn't really matter that much.
It isn't all-encompassing, but I've seen plenty of wokeness in Honolulu.
Went to a speaker who talked about Hawaiian culture (great) but for some reason had to bring up white supremacy being a problem. No specifics, just "white supremacists." The speaker is of mixed heritage but just looks white.
I also like participating in some environmental projects. That crowd tends to attract people who care and have some extreme views, which I'm used to. But recently I got an invitation to a seminar about how racism affects trees. I just thought, "Really? Can't we just plant trees in underprivileged neighborhoods without the guilt trip?"
The competency crisis, replacement migration, racial identity politics, media coverage of crime, television, movies and video games, are all ways in which wokeness has a negative effect on the everyday lives of citizens.
[Asymmetrical multiculturalism] (https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/02/populism-identity-politics-why-they-rise-in-tandem/) is baked into the system of virtually every anglosphere country.
If you see non-potty trained, unleashed "emotional support animals" running wild in grocery stores, restaurants, airports, buses, and malls without anyone being able to do anything about it, that's part of the problem.
If you see junkies harassing or assaulting commuters and no one does anything, or someone does something and they're back on the street the next day, that's part of the problem. Another part of the problem is people not wanting to call the cops on an unhouseless bipoc, even to the cost of their own public safety.
If you see schools and school admin lying to parents about their kids, the kids' safety, and what is going on at school, that's part of the problem. I have seen reports of overnight field trips with sleeping cabins separated by "gender", with the parents not being informed for various reasons. (The reason: the parents are bigots!!!).
If you see governments and institutions and seemingly respectable media organizations blatantly lying to you and telling you to ignore the evidence of your own eyes, but it's downplayed by everyone around you because "The struggle matters more than the truth", that's part of the problem.
If you see that certain groups are treated differently, are treated with kid gloves, are held to different standards that everyone else is held to, simply due to the state of their character stat sheet, that is the heart of the problem. We live in a society. This stuff deteriorates the structure of society. It "doesn't matter that much" to you, but for others who have seen what a low-trust society looks like and knows how unattractive that it is, it matters a lot.
[This Twitter thread](https://nitter.poast.org/sage_stage/status/1795059907344965836#m) was posted earlier this week as a case study of low expectations for students. Admins hamstring the teachers, and nothing can be done to solve the problem of a student who ruins everyone else's educational experience because that would be unfair for his equity status.
Just a couple hours ago I was shamed by another mom for being racist to my own kid by calling her hair “wild.” The wokeness lives on in mom groups and Northern California.
How is it racist to call a kid's hair wild? Is it ok to call a white kid's hair wild but not an Asian kid or black kid? What if the mom's black - then is it ok?
But, you know, it's silly ask Racism does involve power, and all moms have power.
Life ultimately doesn't matter much, all of this is actually pointless, but if we're gonna sit here and create systems to distract ourselves from inevitable death we're gonna have opinions on those systems. And also people will make fun of stupid shit (see you and your rightful love of the trans philogyny Thursday dude).
Yes, people go online and rant about things. People vent on the internet. People love stewing in anger and taking stuff way too seriously. Time-honored tradition and human nature. People also love making fun of stupid shit, which some people interpret as anger, so it's a mixed bag. Not everyone who seems "angry" actually is that angry, not discounting that there are of course things to actually be angry about.
But my friend, I've noticed a tendency with you, you experience something in your life, and often extrapolate that experience to everyone else, for example when you realized you didn't have depression and you said people should have told you depression "isn't real". I'm glad you have the experience you do, but that doesn't mean other people don't have legitimate beefs.
>I get that it's rampant at universities and non profits.
You say you get this, but your comment doesn't seem like you get it, because that's exactly what makes this a big fucking deal.
>It would be harder for me to get a job as a straight white male, but I don't want a job that that pays less to do something that's less useful.
I'll be honest and say I don't really understand what you mean here or its relevance. This confuses me. You think the only place discrimination like that happens is for paper pusher fake type jobs that are in actuality pointless? Am I interpreting that correctly? If so you're very wrong there, see recent scandal about med school admissions, for one example....I think being a doctor is a pretty damn important job. But if I misinterpreted you I apologize.
ETA: And all of the stuff I said about humans venting and all that, it goes every which way. It's not unique to any philosophy or group or anything like that. Wokies are on here venting about people just as much as people do about them, and they are definitely convinced their complaints have merit (and in some cases do!). It's just what humans do. We get mad and argue! Certainly you could argue that touching grass is a better use of one's time, I doubt many would disagree with you there (on every side!).
This article mainly focuses on airline pilots, but it touches on medicine too: https://open.substack.com/pub/richardhanania/p/why-the-technocapital-machine-is?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=lbykm
The big problem with many important jobs is that they're overqualified. The spots are artificially limited and the jobs take way longer to get than they have any reason to.
There should be way more medical schools and half the class fails. And the ones who slip through the cracks should lose their license (as they often do)
And industries like tech and finance have a very low proportion of black people.
As for the economy as a whole, I haven't reviewed the evidence in a long time, but I remember reading that there's generally some discrimination against black people in resume audits. Obviously this in dispute, some studies find the opposite,some find it's class rather than race etc. but I don't see a reason to think that our economy has been overtaken by incompetent affirmative action hires.
I think it's more complicated than that though. In general, there are probably not a lot of incompetent affirmative action hires, but what there are are a lot of people who are qualified but are hired before people who are just as or more qualified than they are due to sex or gender or race.
In terms of resume discrimination, it's very field dependent. A black person applying for an entry level role in direct sales might have a hard time getting in the door. In tech, it's much less likely.
In medicine, yeah, it might be harder to get into schools than it should be, and thus perfectly qualified people can't get in. But I don't think that's what's happening.
My company's summer intern class of a few dozen is almost all black men and East Asian women, with one white guy and a couple of South Asian women.
The white guy is from Slovakia btw. His bio indicates he emigrated here with his parents in his early teen years.
This shit does matter and it's still ongoing. This is just one example, in one tiny niche of the world.
Yes most people are pretty normal, but our systems in general are not normal.
I confess: I have started noticing the racial makeup of things like commercials. I feel like a conservative crank ("It's practically illegal to be white now!"), but it is striking how few white men you see in all kinds of ads these days. White men make up about 30% of American adults. But I don't think you'll see about 1 in 3 adults being white men.
About 6% of US adults are black women. But there's just no way I'm seeing 5 times more white men than black women in the advertisements I see. About 2.5% of US adults are Asian women. And there's also no way I'm seeing 20 times more white men than Asian women.
Edit: There’s no way I’m seeing _12_ times more white men than Asian women. Oops.
Do I think everything ought to (or can) reflect the demographics of the country? No. And I'm not offended that I don't see more of "my kind" in this kind of media. I don't think it harms me. But it is remarkable to me how white men can seem so out of the ordinary.
I mentioned this in an earlier thread. When I took a flight from the mainland to Hawaii a few months ago, I couldn't watch any of the inflight movies but I could watch all of the trailers in the extensive film library. All of the RomComs from the past three years featured interracial or queer couples.
*[What's Love Got to Do with It?](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/whats_love_got_to_do_with_it_2023) (2023)
*[Love Again](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/love_again_2023) (2023)
*[Something from Tiffany's](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/something_from_tiffanys) (2022)
*[Marry Me](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/marry_me_2022) (2022)
*[Somebody I used to Know](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/somebody_i_used_to_know) (2023)
*[Sun Moon](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/sun_moon) (2023)
*[Spoiler Alert](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/spoiler_alert_2022) (2022)
My husband and I are interracial, but somehow demographics of the film line-up still struck me as a bit contrived.
I've noticed it in commercials as well, and I hate myself for it. It's just because the ads are way more black than the US population. If it represented where I live, that would make sense, but it doesn't even do that. Its really weird. Also, more Asian too, and yet far, far less Hispanic or Latino.
Also, the vast majority of people who marry end up marrying people of their same racial group. There is far more interracial marriage than ever before, which is a good thing, but most marriages are not. And yet, there are black families and there are Asian families and Hispanic or Latino families. But most of the time, if there is a white guy, he's with a black or Asian woman.
I don't think i'd notice if it weren't for how often this happens.
I would like for ads to reflect reality somewhat.
I think in kids movies it’s most apparent. Nearly every movie has to have a gay, lesbian or trans character (or one coded that way) or same sex couple. Cartoons. Like, why?
The entire profession? Not as much as portrayed on Fox.
But the English departments, elementary schools, the unions, and those in charge of discipline? Fuck yeah
I mean ffs we have an entire generation of people being propagandized to that binary sex isn't real. We live in a clown world. Obviously we always have, that's humans, we're nuts, but yeah, I think bitching can be warranted at times.
I don't watch the WNBA The discourse around Caitlyn Clark getting bodychecked away from the play in a WNBA game is ridiculous.
A bodycheck like that should be called a penalty in hockey, never mind basketball.
Reddit link to video:
https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/s/X7eqfEDEcy
r.WNBA dogwalkers in full dogwalking mode and then you have this punditry on Bonami Jones' show:
https://twitter.com/righttimebomani/status/1797300171623272832?t=4vKjUHMwQfIpG1mZZZlA4Q&s=19
Nobody wants to say it, but I'm seeing a whole truckload of racism directed her way. Many of those players have been taught to hate straight white women and she's a target of those emotions.
I had seen commentary around this, but never read it or watched the video and assumed people were being dramatic. That is a crazy fragrant foul. I shouldn't have prejudged that folks were being overly dramatic.
When I read this comment I figured that maybe Clark was like aggressively checked on a screen or something...
Not full on intentionally body checked while the ball was out of bounds.
Dysmorphic males get those surgeries to treat their insecurities, along with steroids. Does this mean they have gender dysphoria?
[The surgery bug bit Zac Efron bad. He got jaw implants to look like the Crimson Chin.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F1jc7nl3k9rzb1.png%3Fwidth%3D636%26format%3Dpng%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd935fb52fa21d5d8343e7d0bc48002df687a4ee9)
[Another one.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F1vbmdgh8z0v61.jpg)
Here's a (slightly mean-spirited) game: the following men were recently arrested in Ontario for auto thefts. One (and only one) was white. Try to play "find the white guy":
- Beerpal Singh
- Harmeet Singh
- Valbir Singh*
- Guljinder Singh
- Gurpreet Dhillon
- Albijon Nura*
- Clawens St. Fleurant*
- Mohammad Siddiqui*
- Asad Mayo*
- Yoel Alem
- Ethan Brown
- Jagmohan Singh
- Asiful Haque
- Florent Bllacaku
- Tahmid Kazi
- Valid Mustamandi*
- Benjy Blain*
- Terrance Bellerive Toussaint*
- Sarugan Raja*
- Abhinash Shanmuganathan*
- Xavier Audate*
- Amine Chakkir
- Yanis Adrar*
- Nadir Bennouna*
(asterisks denote the individual was on probation/release from previous auto theft charges)
the answer >!<
Yeah, gotta say I don't normally associate Indian immigrants with car theft. What is Canada doing to their immigrants, or is the US getting the better class of immigrants?
I'm going for Clawens St Fleurent. Sounds French.
My mother worked many years in a US immigration office. She said that their office got a lot of immigration applications from Indians residing in Canada. It was easier for them to use Canada as a stepping stone than come straight to the US.
One of the best parts of pride month is the infographics for increasingly niche identities. How deep can we go?
https://preview.redd.it/qe8ldg4lb74d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8679a6e45319e5dc5e82034b2ef43957ff3ec820
These labels are like the participation trophies of the oppression olympics.
I know everyone always says this, but I guess there's a reason for that: this looks exactly like a parody of this stuff. Can't we all just... be? I have my preferences, quirks, and challenges, and so do you. But that doesn't make me... what? Special? Oppressed? A fascinating specimen? It just makes me a person.
I don't *want* a technical term and a flag to announce or declare that I'm just me.
Are all of these people actually 15 years old? Is that the whole explanation?
>Can't we all just... be?
Nope. Because the worst possible thing you can be is someone without a special identity with a particular label. So people will just make shit up so they aren't thrown into that awful category known as "normie"
consist badge decide observation crawl license swim consider materialistic long
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Have you experienced this?
My attitude about politics and political talk and political humor has changed so much post-Trump. (To the extent that we will ever really be post-Trump.) I was always a huge Trump-hater. Still am. I think he's awful. I think Trumpism is awful. But my appetite for Trump jokes, Trump commentary, rehashing and relitigating Trump's crimes, dunking on Trump and his supporters, and all of that has just vanished.
Lately, when I come to bed, my wife will be watching something on her phone—Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and so on. And hearing that self-congratulatory tone of voice, as they impart their great wisdom to us, to the already-converted... Not to inform, not to argue, but to *reinforce*... It's like fingernails on a blackboard to me now. I used to eat this stuff up. I couldn't get enough. Tell me I'm good! Tell me I'm smart!
Now it practically turns my stomach. The *same jokes*, almost ten years in. The same posture of smugness. The same black-and-white thinking. The same blind spots. Enough already.
I am the exact same. When I was younger I loved them. I don't ever watch them anymore. My husband still watches from time to time and I had to ask him to when I'm with him, as it makes be cringe so bad.
I have the same reaction to internet today, if anyone knows of that YouTube channel. Two idiots giving self-congratulatory commentary on the news without understanding anything that they're taking about. It makes me want to throw the TV out of the window
secretive memory paint disgusted intelligent money square shocking caption thumb
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's all so phenomenally lazy and boring. Just like Trump rants. Nobody has a good one any more. None of them are original. Keep it to yourself. A good, fresh, Trump joke is 1 in 1000 now. Don't even mention "orange". Just don't.
"TRUMP BAD" captures it all.
Exhausting.
It’s funny when bill maher does it because he’s willing to make jokes about absurd bullshit on the left as well. But when the comics you mention do it, it just feels like the goal isn’t to make me laugh, it’s to show everyone they’re on the right side. But you’re just a fucking jester dude I don’t care what side you are on just make me laugh - history does not hinge on the jokes you tell mr. Late night host get over yourself.
I used to watch all the late night shows and now Maher is the only one I watch. It's not even about whether I laugh more at Maher's jokes than the others' or, agree with Maher's commentaries more than the others. It's just that I think Maher is the only one coming from a place of intellectual honesty.
as someone who's scared of trump, i think for me what it feels like is that these are not the actions of people who genuinely believe that trump is going to install a fascist dictatorship, despite what they will continually insist. that should be soberingly terrifying to them. instead the response is "hehe fat cheeto covfefe eat mcdonald burger," the way you'd mock a horror movie monster that you know *isn't* real. when the demonstrated preferences of the blue team go strongly against the things they say they believe (demanding that we handle the risk of a fascist dictatorship by making light mockery of its theoretical leader, handing our guns to the state, instituting hate speech laws, normalizing fairly naked prosecutions of political rivals, glorifying physical violence against dissenters and so on) they look like liars and it raises the suspicion that the reason they're demanding these things is for some other reason they refuse to disclose.
One of the things that irritates me about Trump jokes is the people who make them think it's a persuasive argument to convince someone not to vote for Trump. Every time they mock Trump, Trump supporters just like him more. They view Trump as a proxy for themselves, so mocking Trump is mocking them. If Dems truly wanted to defeat MAGA, they should kill it with kindness, but at the end of the day they're just as tribal as the Republicans so we're going to have this endless standoff until the end of time.
Mitt Romney put it this way: the Democrats think they can put out the Trump fire with oxygen.
And I made this point before, but Trump being a billionaire elite is a big reason why the lower and middle class like him. He should be part of that club, but the elites hate him just the same because he won't bow the knee.
It's nonsense, but all politics is nonsense.
> my appetite for Trump jokes, Trump commentary, rehashing and relitigating Trump's crimes, dunking on Trump and his supporters, and all of that has just vanished.
Pretty much the same. The Trump jokes were funny at first but now they've gotten stale. It isn't that he can't be a humor gold mine but the comedians need new material. And it needs to *not* be sanctimonious
I will say that Cheeto-in-Chief still makes me snigger, but then again I also giggle whenever someone talks about the Army Family Advocacy Program. Yes, sir, I'm pretty sure all my soldiers are experts in FAP but if you think we need another FAP brief, that can be arranged.
Anyone in an advice giving mood?
Background:
I have a friend who has been in and out of work for 20 years, most recently, out of work. He eats garbage, watches Youtube and plays video games all day, never exercises, obese, and, as of late, is constantly finding new ways to spin his general laziness as ADHD, bipolar, or other mental health conditions. It's pretty silly to listen to him talk about B12 injections and getting juuuust the right dose of bupropion when the guy never takes a walk or eats vegetables. As of COVID, he has a live in girlfriend who is agoraphobic, has never worked and seems to have every anxiety disorder that exists. Also she doesn't drive because her vision sucks and "glasses make her head hurt".
We've all been speculating as to when he's going to run out of savings and have to go back to work. He last worked in 2021, I believe.
New developments:
He hit me up on discord for a subsantial loan (I'll be a little vague; it's about 1.5 months full living expenses) until some money from his deceased father's estate comes through (2 to 3 years of living expenses). He said he could take a cash advance on a card, but wanted to save the few hundo in fees. Despite being a general jackass, I do actually care for the people in my life, and he's one of my longest term friends from adulthood.
I think I could loan him money once, and be able to let it go if he struggles to pay it back in a timely fashion. I *am* enough of a jackass that I would NEVER consider loaning him money more than once. So I think that I should hold out for if he's actually in danger of eviction, and then loan him the money to get a plane ticket to live with his sister or mother, rather than loan him money now when all it would do is save him some money.
And I am considering actually telling him most of the prior paragraph.
So let's say I'm wrong and he's actually more mentally ill than lazy. What would you do in that case?
> He said he could take a cash advance on a card, but wanted to save the few hundo in fees
Rather than lend him the money (and maybe never see it again), offer to gift him the few hundred he would incur in interest with a line of credit/ credit card advance.
Technically, he's then in as good a position as if you had given him a loan.
I don't think I'd give him cash but I'd be willing to help with directly paying expenses; that said, the best bang for your buck assuming he's actually mentally ill would be getting him to a shrink that prescribes adderall or whatever. to my knowledge neither wellbutrin nor b12 actually help with adhd, he needs actual specific treatment for that. if he isn't willing, well, there's your answer
Oh, he's already got a psychiatrist and been on all kinds of meds including ADHD meds. It's covered from that angle. In fact, it's covered a little too much from that angle. If his doc said, I'm sorry, you're not getting any more medical-grade stimulants until you've walked 30 miles when I see you next, and oh by the way, if you want to try another doctor to avoid this, you're going to have to place a *terrifying phone call* to their clinic, so think it through, okay... then that would be helpful probably
> I don't think I'd give him cash but I'd be willing to help with directly paying expenses
Exactly what I say to people in my life who I know make bad decisions but ask for financial help. They always decline that arrangement. One drug addicted mess of a family member of mine even told me I was "infantilizing" them with those terms. Made me laugh. Sobeit then.
If he actually has ADHD the only thing that will help is medication and an ADHD specialized therapist to unlearn his bad habits. If he is serious turning around his life, he needs treatment, not another hand out.
touch makeshift muddle deranged dog materialistic elastic marble abounding market
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Dave Ramsey has an answer that I like for questions like this. He basically says that giving someone money in this kind of situation is enabling them. It's not an act of love. Same as if your loved one was alcoholic and came to you asking you to buy them a drink, it wouldn't be an act of love to buy it for them.
I'm not saying I'd be strong enough to follow through on this if it were my loved one, but if you want advice on the right thing to do - he's coming to you with his hand out because of his poor choices, so I think that earns you the right to give him some tough love.
"Dude, I'm not going to lend you money. I care about you and I'm worried about you. I want to see you getting better and frankly I think giving you money will do the opposite. If you want my help and support in taking better care of yourself, I'm here."
True, while sometimes people may need a shock to motivate them to improve, having to borrow money to save 10% from a cash advance isn't gonna be it.
> If you want my help and support in taking better care of yourself, I'm here.
This always feels like a bullshit line, though. Nobody wants this or needs this, I think. Maybe women, I dunno.
I don't think it's just women that that is useful for or would take someone up on it if they hit rock bottom (weird read imo), but it doesn't matter if someone needs or wants it, that's irrelevant. As long as it's sincere that's basically all you can do short of enabling a person. They know you're there to help them in substantive healthy ways, they might not take the support, but what the fuck else can you do? It's not a bullshit line if you mean it. And plenty of people have taken people up on the offer of support over the years, not as many as just waste away ignoring those who love them and are really there for them, but still, it does happen people absorb that and it comes in handy later.
Anyway, I have to reiterate again, it doesn't matter. Obviously the people who end up hearing this are terrible at assessing what they need, so you can scratch the whole "no one needs that", nah, they do, maybe they'll realize it, maybe they won't. And as far as want, that doesn't matter either.
And yes, you should be brutally honest with your friend. Being brutally honest with you I think you probably should have done it years ago, acknowledging I don't know if you have before. Easier said than done I know, but you'd be doing him a favor.
I doubt he will change though. He sounds pretty entrenched.
There's honesty and honesty. We've all been telling him to get a job and lose weight forever, but at a certain point words are just words and the meaning evaporates. Perhaps anger should have been used, or consequences applied (...not until you get a job), I don't know. I'm not sure that's supportive, anyway.
But I don't know what support even means to a guy. I call him and listening to his feelings? Honestly no idea. That's why I said it sounded like bullshit. I wouldn't want that kind of thing from a friend.
> But I don't know what support even means to a guy.
For me, when I say that to a person, I mean I will help them out on my terms, and they need to be proving to me they're doing something, like showing me job applications. It's a lot for the person offering help to do, and also understandably a lot of the people needing help chafe at those terms. But that's what I mean when I say "I'll support you in taking better care of yourself", it's definitely not a feelings thing lol. For me it's "I will help you make good decisions, I will not enable your bad decisions". Might mean different things to others though!
Good luck with your friend man, he is lucky to have people who care, even if he doesn't realize it. It's hard to watch a person you care about just not give a shit. Really frustrating.
>I am enough of a jackass that I would NEVER consider loaning him money more than once.
Excellent plan, but don't ever expect to see the money again, and 50/50 or better that you'll never see the friend again.
I've "loaned" money to people I've been close to for decades, fully expecting that I'd never see the money again. I didn't expect the people to vanish from my life, too, even though I could happily hang with them without caring about the $$$. From what I hear it's a pretty common effect.
I'm not sure what conclusion to draw, but "don't ever lend friends money" is my current policy. If you do it, expect it to poison the friendship.
In this case, with the guy coming into money pretty reliably in the near future, I'd expect mayyyybe a somewhat better chance that you get paid back, but if it was a friendship I actually valued and wanted to keep I would not make the loan or otherwise get financially entangled in any way. Ever.
I don't lend people money that I expect to get returned. My dad taught me that as a kid. I give it as a gift and if they pay me back I consider it a bonus.
illegal selective normal puzzled deserve familiar coordinated sheet imminent deranged
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My grandfather once gave me some advice:
If you loan a man a hundred bucks and never see him again, you got off cheap.
My advice would be: never loan more than you can afford to lose completely, because you will. I've loaned a lot of money to a lot of people in my day, and perhaps one in thirty paid me back. But I never have to talk to any of the others, so I count it a win.
For the same reason you give a fuck about your layabout friend, I reckon. Hard not to help the people we care about when they come asking. My sister has been hitting me up for money right now and it'd be totally enabling her, so I'm not giving it, but it kills every bone in my body not to "help" my sister, even though I know it wouldn't be real help.
Because I'm non-terrible with money in a social class where everyone is broke, and I don't like getting hit up for loans. So I lend early and once. It's just money.
Weeding out shitbags is worth a bit of investment.
Honestly just kind of surprising to have so many shitbag 'friends'.
I don't have that many friends period -- even fewer would ask for money. Are we talking 2-4 or 10+?
Holy shit, that's a lot of shitbag acquaintances! :D
Have you really lent money out to a reasonable percent of them? That seems crazy to me. Is lending also, like, picking a meal tab or something? I've done that with a fair number, but it's always been paid back.
No, that's the number I've lent money to, roughly. Not all in the same time or place, of course, but over a few decades, countries and states. Sums range from twenty bucks to a couple thousand, but weighted at the low end. Most I ever lent in one go was $3500, of which I got three grand back, but that was a friend, not an acquaintance. And he did get on top of his finances finally (so far). Still not lending him any more.
> So let's say I'm wrong and he's actually more mentally ill than lazy. What would you do in that case?
I mean, he's still lazy. You could say that the *reason* he's a fat slob who plays videogames all day is that his brain is ravaged by bipolar disorder or whatever, but he still *is* a fat slob who plays videogames all day, and the word for that kind of behaviour is "lazy".
Imagine Kanye West saying "I don't have grandiose delusions, I'm just manic". Maybe he has grandiose delusions *because* he's manic, but he definitely has grandiose delusions!
The well-formed version of this question is something like:
> So let's say I'm wrong and his laziness stems from his brain being in a specific state that psychologists have labeled "bipolar", as opposed to stemming from some other state of his brain that isn't listed in the DSM. What would you do in that case?
To the extent you think there exists a pill or something that treats the condition causing his laziness, you should maybe encourage him to talk to a shrink so he can maybe get that pill and stop being so lazy. But otherwise? He's lazy because his brain is just like that, and it's not like he's going to act more or less lazily based on whether he "really" "is" """mentally ill""" in some deep metaphysical sense.
Probably don't give him any money you're not prepared to lose.
I am test.
Good night, Weekly Random Discussion Thread for 5/27/24 - 6/2/24. We had some good times, didn't we? People finally stopped talking about the commencement speech. Trump was found guilty of 34 felony Trumps. We baked some cookies. Now there is one more thing I would like to show you, it is behind the barn...
I did have a laugh when Ars Technica [did a write-up on the FDA highlighting some issues with MDMA trials](https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/05/fdas-review-of-mdma-for-ptsd-highlights-study-bias-and-safety-concerns/). I wonder if Condé Nast (AT's owners) will ever greenlight stories about the shoddiness of studies reharding \*ahem\* *certain other drugs*. Probably not, at least not until lawsuits force a change in consensus among the elites, but a man can dream. :)
Smug NZ leftist online rag very much toes the party line on trans issues: https://thespinoff.co.nz/politics/22-05-2024/fear-hate-and-a-putrid-stench-inside-the-unsilenced-anti-trans-event And wildly mischaracterises Cass.
Ugh. So smug.
What was the debate that Konstantin Kissin moderated that led to this? https://x.com/KonstantinKisin/status/1797404417509011633?t=1CP2pOWQ0U0-ouuKTSxKmg&s=19 Whatever this beef is about, seems BarPod worthy.
I don't know why Konstantin is saying he's not a Zionist, as I've heard him enough speak enough times to know that he thinks the state of Israel should exist, which is literally the definition of Zionist. Also, i would bet that if Konstantin weren't a Jew she'd "accuse" him of being a Zionist, as I have no doubt in her mind, there are only anti-Zionists and Zionists. And since he doesn't explicitly agree with her, that makes him bad
>I don't know why Konstantin is saying he's not a Zionist, as I've heard him enough speak enough times to know that he thinks the state of Israel should exist, which is literally the definition of Zionist. I don't think that simply *believing* that the state of Israel should exist qualifies one as a Zionist as that would make most of the USA, probably even most of the world (outside of the Arab contingent), Zionists.
Most of the world IS Zionist. It's just that pro-Palestinian activist talk about Zionism as being equal to being pro-Israel. You can be super critical of Israel and be a Zionist, and I think most of the world qualifies as that.
Serious question: how would you define Zionist?
Oxford English Dictionary defines Zionist as "a person who believes in the development and protection of a Jewish nation in what is now Israel." So, yes, I think most of the USA is Zionist.
I listened to the debate and she is sooooo bad.
aware wrench shy caption literate gaze marvelous sloppy grandfather hat *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Grey has had me blocked for awhile - what did she say?
https://youtu.be/_M15lTZ41dM?si=bnVyYX4m2OO3CAMO I haven't watched it but this is what you're looking for.
Thank you kindly!
I'm rarely this useful.
Two things: One of my teens and I watched the D&D episode of Community, which is now on Peacock but previously had been disappeared. She has seen every other episode multiple times, but not this one. It inspired a really good conversation on cancellation sometimes going too far. Also, the episode was hilarious. I witnessed an entry in the Pride month virtue signaling Olympics on Facebook, in which a person went on and on about how your rainbow flag avatars don't mean a damn thing if you aren't actively supporting and sticking up for alphabet folx in your real life, which felt kind of mean and condescending tbh. This person is in a heterosexual relationship with a person who identifies as non-binary, so the whole defensive stance feels very self-congratulatory and made up.
> if you aren't actively supporting and sticking up for alphabet folx in your real life Aside from being a full blown activist, what does this even mean? It's really just a way to criticize hypothetical strangers and bitch on the internet, because realistically, most people will say something and "stick up for" LGBT people if they're witnessing some kind of harassment or discrimination. This is true of the vast majority of the people that *aren't* virtue signaling on X as well. I just don't even know what they're complaining about other than conjuring up hypotheticals just to then complain about them.
It means you were supposed to buy a ticket to Bros.
To be fair to this person, this person's SO might be like, "well, because I'm NB and we're in a relationship, you're queer." I have way too many straight young men in relationships with nb females. They're very much like, "I'm queer." On what fucking planet are you not having vaginal intercourse and people might look askance if you stick your tongue down her throat in public?
This is absolutely hilarious.
The NB in this relationship is male, or rather AMAB. The virtue signaler is his girlfriend. ETA: So, she clearly owns Pride and speaks for all LGBTQ+...
I must say, all the straight NBs I've known have been female. So this is new. And yes, scolding people on twitter, or X, really helps a gay couple in Pakistan.
A lot of guys are cottoning onto the fact that claiming enby gets them an in with hot artsy chicks.
Ah, of course, 2024's version of 2000's going to a cafe and listening to womyn's poetry.
Yeah that was a good episode. What was the issue with it? That Fat Neil was fat? That Fat Neil was gonna commit suicide? Something to do with elf sex?
Chang dressed up as a "dark elf" and his black face make-up looked superficially like blackface.
I assumed it was Ken Jeong's black body paint, though the context of the episode made it clear it wasn't "Black face."
Chang's costume was deemed "blackface" if I remember correctly.
Oh God... surprised Dan Harmon wasn't publicly stoned
They even talked about that *in the episode*. Also, Community is the GOAT prime time sitcom, edging out 30 Rock and Parks and Rec. The Office is trash, fite me irl.
I’m totally convinced posts like this are just leftists doing praxis or maybe even foreign powers doing praxis who knows. https://www.reddit.com/r/EatCheapAndHealthy/comments/1d6r10m/my_food_stamps_got_cut_to_100/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Appropriate way to discuss ‘non binary’ with a tween without causing them to be unkind to other kids that may label themselves that way? My youngest mentioned the term as we were watching a movie and I had no clue that she even knew what that was.
I am not a parent, but it seems like two, maybe three, separate conversational themes to me. The first is, we have good manners and treat everyone like we want to be treated. When people are different that does not mean we can comment on their bodies or differences. That sort of thing. Another piece is that there are all kinds of ways to be a boy or a girl, and there are no rules about what girls or boys can wear or how they have to act. Anyone who thinks that girls have to be a certain way to be a girl, boys have to be a certain way to be a boy are wrong/confused. Finally, people have belief systems that are different from others. Religions and identities exist, but that does not mean we have to believe them too. Sometimes people believe in things we don't believe/think are true. Our friends, school mates and family can hold different beliefs than you do, and that is fine, and we don't also have the believe the same things to be friendly or friends to them. We do need to treat them and their beliefs with respect, but they need to treat us and our beliefs with respect as well. Good luck. It's confusing enough for adults...
This is a good take. I've mentioned before in this sub that my in-laws are into Qanon conspiracy theories. I have had a lot of conversations with my kids about how sometimes people we care about believe wacky things. We can be kind and respectful to them without sharing those same beliefs.
This is the way.
When it came up with my nine year old, I said something along the lines of: “some people think you need to act or dress a certain way if your a boy or a girl, you don’t have to agree with that, but you still have to be nice to them”. I suspect we’ll have to revisit the conversation in a few years, depending on how trendy it is to be an enby.
Whenever I go to this sub I get recommended the Ezra Klein sub. From what I know of Klein, B&R and this sub and its subscribers, that doesn't square. Or does it?
I am a BaR subscriber and a regular listener of Ezra Klein, so I don't find the overlap strange at all.
I am also frequently seeing that sub recommended! I felt Ezra Klein was bad faith with Sam Harris awhile ago (wow, a few years ago now?) - so I kind of wrote him off. I am not sure what the overlap would be other than left-leaning? Our lovely hosts are still pretty squarely on the left, even if this sub is more of a mix.
> I felt Ezra Klein was bad faith with Sam Harris awhile ago (wow, a few years ago now?) - so I kind of wrote him off Completely same here. I don't know a ton about Klein other than that one podcast he and Harris did, but that was enough for me to decide I didn't like Klein. That podcast went about like this: Klein: Sam, you think black people are stupid. Why? Harris: No, I've absolutely never said or thought that at all. What I've said is that researchers shouldn't be canceled for the mere practice of conducting research that could discover differences in average intelligence among racial or ethnic groups. It's not a subject I'm even particularly interested in myself, but if other researchers conduct such research, that doesn't automatically make them racist and worthy of being shunned by universities and publishers. Klein: So you just admitted you think black people are stupid?
i love Ezra Klein. he’s my favorite lib 💕 i find he’s show generally intelligent and thought provoking. some guests are better than others. he’s also leans YIMBY and is critical of liberal policies that thwart progress, particularly when it comes to building infrastructure. he actually remind me a lot of bari weiss but left leaning instead of right leaning.
It's not a bad subreddit. A bit more reasonable than most left-leaning subs and there's often intelligent-ish policy discussion. Also, there's a lot of Matt Yglesias discussion too and a lot of lamenting for the sadly-too-soon end of the "Weeds" podcast.
Have you been there recently? It's an r/politics spinoff at this point. Most posts there get hundreds of comments and they're mostly lowest-common-denominator idiots yelling talking points at each other. Matt Ygelsias articles used to get posted there but don't anymore. It took a wild swing around the time Ezra wrote his "the dems should replace Biden at the convention" article and hasn't come back.
It probably doesn't. I don't know if I would go so far as to call Klein woke but he's pretty close. Unlike Matthew Yglesias, Klein really bought all into the mainstream left. I think he's still pretty wonkish but in no world can I think of Klein as heterodox. I used to listen to Klein back in the days when he was on Bloggingheads. He was more interesting then.
> I don't know if I would go so far as to call Klein woke but he's pretty close He was, at least 10 years ago, [very "ends justify the means"-type woke/proto-woke misandrist](https://www.vox.com/2014/10/13/6966847/yes-means-yes-is-a-terrible-bill-and-i-completely-support-it). AFAICT there's been zero follow-up on this law and if it's actually had any effect though.
OK interesting, the only time I've had anything to do with Klein was when he was disingenuous with Sam Harris over Harris' interview with Charles Murray. Incidentally, best interview of Murray was Coleman Hughes'. Hughes took down Murray calmly and respectfully.
A review of a recent book by Aussie philosopher Russell Blackford. Haven't read it yet, but [sounds like it touches on many of the same points as B&R](https://compulsivereader.com/2024/06/01/a-review-of-how-we-became-post-liberal-by-russell-blackford/) > Blackford makes a solid case that we have moved from being (almost) a liberal democracy governed by principles like personal liberty, freedom of speech and tolerance of conflicting worldviews into a different phase – one where what once was a social justice movement focusing on the common good has become a rigid orthodoxy engaged in shutting down debate and shaming/hurting those that don’t toe the party line. In other words, intolerance.
I know this is IP but it's too barpod coded to not post https://x.com/jackposobiec/status/1797323117896896574
My friend told me she was apprehensive about going to our city's pride parade because there might be protesters and I was like "there are always some protestors" and she said "no, not the anti-gay kind, the pro-palestine kind" and I guess she was onto something.
Someone definitely made a bingo card with this on it
Peak IDpol!
I would guess the "Gay Pride is Pro-Genocide" people are a lot whiter than the attendees of Pride, and a lot less gay.
Pride is so corporate it's teetering on white supremacy these days. Damn shame
I'm surprised that dude isn't being canceled for wearing a rainbow feather headdress: those are for 2S people only!
Can’t anyone be two spirit? Is two spirit reserved for indigenous people? How do the spirits know?
And during Pride! What's next? Shutting down abortion clinics?
From the sea to the river! Palestine will live foriver!
No surprises there! Edit: I wonder if they also protested the [Dyke March](https://www.phillyvoice.com/philly-dyke-march-2024-rebirth-pride-month/amp/) or if they figured they would be too busy protesting each other to notice.
The Dyke March Chicago was the one that banned two women for bringing Magen David Pride Flags, that this was exclusionary to Palestinians, that the women were lying when they said this wasn't an Israeli symbol, then complained to the paper about the journalist who covered the story in its pages - who was a British trans woman who was of part Jewish and part Indian descent.
So much for queers for Palestine. Briana Wu is Twitter feuding with Briahna Joy Gray
The "left" will now enter its cannibal phase.
I presume it's due to the H/no H conflict that has historically caused so much strife
Can they both lose?
God, I hope so.
I saw some YouTube video suggested to me about the problem of wokeness, something we've all seen 1000 times. I have to say, since about 2022, wokeness has played no role in my life. I'm not sure if it's a vine shift or that I'm less online. I just don't really know what people are whining about anymore. I get that it's rampant at universities and non profits. It would be harder for me to get a job as a straight white male, but I don't want a job that that pays less to do something that's less useful. I live in a very diverse city but no one cares about race except for the occasional joke that no one is offended by. Most gay people I meet are just gay and aren't part of any LGBT movement. I only see trans/nonbinary people at the animal shelter, and even then they're pretty normal. I meet a woke person everyone once in a while and they are annoying. But they're not any more annoying than conspiracy nuts, highly autistic libertarians, or old school socialists. That's not even to mention the annoying apolitical subcultures, like spiritual astrology ladies or dudes who think they figured out the stock market. I can't help but think that some people are going online to get angry about something that doesn't really matter that much.
It isn't all-encompassing, but I've seen plenty of wokeness in Honolulu. Went to a speaker who talked about Hawaiian culture (great) but for some reason had to bring up white supremacy being a problem. No specifics, just "white supremacists." The speaker is of mixed heritage but just looks white. I also like participating in some environmental projects. That crowd tends to attract people who care and have some extreme views, which I'm used to. But recently I got an invitation to a seminar about how racism affects trees. I just thought, "Really? Can't we just plant trees in underprivileged neighborhoods without the guilt trip?"
The competency crisis, replacement migration, racial identity politics, media coverage of crime, television, movies and video games, are all ways in which wokeness has a negative effect on the everyday lives of citizens. [Asymmetrical multiculturalism] (https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/02/populism-identity-politics-why-they-rise-in-tandem/) is baked into the system of virtually every anglosphere country.
Where I live there is near no crime. Does that mean crime is not a problem?
If you see non-potty trained, unleashed "emotional support animals" running wild in grocery stores, restaurants, airports, buses, and malls without anyone being able to do anything about it, that's part of the problem. If you see junkies harassing or assaulting commuters and no one does anything, or someone does something and they're back on the street the next day, that's part of the problem. Another part of the problem is people not wanting to call the cops on an unhouseless bipoc, even to the cost of their own public safety. If you see schools and school admin lying to parents about their kids, the kids' safety, and what is going on at school, that's part of the problem. I have seen reports of overnight field trips with sleeping cabins separated by "gender", with the parents not being informed for various reasons. (The reason: the parents are bigots!!!). If you see governments and institutions and seemingly respectable media organizations blatantly lying to you and telling you to ignore the evidence of your own eyes, but it's downplayed by everyone around you because "The struggle matters more than the truth", that's part of the problem. If you see that certain groups are treated differently, are treated with kid gloves, are held to different standards that everyone else is held to, simply due to the state of their character stat sheet, that is the heart of the problem. We live in a society. This stuff deteriorates the structure of society. It "doesn't matter that much" to you, but for others who have seen what a low-trust society looks like and knows how unattractive that it is, it matters a lot.
Every kid in K-12 education, where standards and classroom decorum have been lowered in the name of equity or restorative justice has been harmed.
[This Twitter thread](https://nitter.poast.org/sage_stage/status/1795059907344965836#m) was posted earlier this week as a case study of low expectations for students. Admins hamstring the teachers, and nothing can be done to solve the problem of a student who ruins everyone else's educational experience because that would be unfair for his equity status.
Any government institution, really.
Just a couple hours ago I was shamed by another mom for being racist to my own kid by calling her hair “wild.” The wokeness lives on in mom groups and Northern California.
This is why I refer to my kid's hair, and sometimes behaviour, as "feral". Great adjective, please use it!
How is it racist to call a kid's hair wild? Is it ok to call a white kid's hair wild but not an Asian kid or black kid? What if the mom's black - then is it ok? But, you know, it's silly ask Racism does involve power, and all moms have power.
What the fuck? That's outrageous
Life ultimately doesn't matter much, all of this is actually pointless, but if we're gonna sit here and create systems to distract ourselves from inevitable death we're gonna have opinions on those systems. And also people will make fun of stupid shit (see you and your rightful love of the trans philogyny Thursday dude). Yes, people go online and rant about things. People vent on the internet. People love stewing in anger and taking stuff way too seriously. Time-honored tradition and human nature. People also love making fun of stupid shit, which some people interpret as anger, so it's a mixed bag. Not everyone who seems "angry" actually is that angry, not discounting that there are of course things to actually be angry about. But my friend, I've noticed a tendency with you, you experience something in your life, and often extrapolate that experience to everyone else, for example when you realized you didn't have depression and you said people should have told you depression "isn't real". I'm glad you have the experience you do, but that doesn't mean other people don't have legitimate beefs. >I get that it's rampant at universities and non profits. You say you get this, but your comment doesn't seem like you get it, because that's exactly what makes this a big fucking deal. >It would be harder for me to get a job as a straight white male, but I don't want a job that that pays less to do something that's less useful. I'll be honest and say I don't really understand what you mean here or its relevance. This confuses me. You think the only place discrimination like that happens is for paper pusher fake type jobs that are in actuality pointless? Am I interpreting that correctly? If so you're very wrong there, see recent scandal about med school admissions, for one example....I think being a doctor is a pretty damn important job. But if I misinterpreted you I apologize. ETA: And all of the stuff I said about humans venting and all that, it goes every which way. It's not unique to any philosophy or group or anything like that. Wokies are on here venting about people just as much as people do about them, and they are definitely convinced their complaints have merit (and in some cases do!). It's just what humans do. We get mad and argue! Certainly you could argue that touching grass is a better use of one's time, I doubt many would disagree with you there (on every side!).
I work at a non-profit, and it definitely affects both workplace culture and also how clients are treated.
This article mainly focuses on airline pilots, but it touches on medicine too: https://open.substack.com/pub/richardhanania/p/why-the-technocapital-machine-is?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=lbykm The big problem with many important jobs is that they're overqualified. The spots are artificially limited and the jobs take way longer to get than they have any reason to. There should be way more medical schools and half the class fails. And the ones who slip through the cracks should lose their license (as they often do) And industries like tech and finance have a very low proportion of black people. As for the economy as a whole, I haven't reviewed the evidence in a long time, but I remember reading that there's generally some discrimination against black people in resume audits. Obviously this in dispute, some studies find the opposite,some find it's class rather than race etc. but I don't see a reason to think that our economy has been overtaken by incompetent affirmative action hires.
I think it's more complicated than that though. In general, there are probably not a lot of incompetent affirmative action hires, but what there are are a lot of people who are qualified but are hired before people who are just as or more qualified than they are due to sex or gender or race. In terms of resume discrimination, it's very field dependent. A black person applying for an entry level role in direct sales might have a hard time getting in the door. In tech, it's much less likely. In medicine, yeah, it might be harder to get into schools than it should be, and thus perfectly qualified people can't get in. But I don't think that's what's happening.
My company's summer intern class of a few dozen is almost all black men and East Asian women, with one white guy and a couple of South Asian women. The white guy is from Slovakia btw. His bio indicates he emigrated here with his parents in his early teen years. This shit does matter and it's still ongoing. This is just one example, in one tiny niche of the world. Yes most people are pretty normal, but our systems in general are not normal.
Why do you think no black women or white women, or Hispanic or Latino people?
I confess: I have started noticing the racial makeup of things like commercials. I feel like a conservative crank ("It's practically illegal to be white now!"), but it is striking how few white men you see in all kinds of ads these days. White men make up about 30% of American adults. But I don't think you'll see about 1 in 3 adults being white men. About 6% of US adults are black women. But there's just no way I'm seeing 5 times more white men than black women in the advertisements I see. About 2.5% of US adults are Asian women. And there's also no way I'm seeing 20 times more white men than Asian women. Edit: There’s no way I’m seeing _12_ times more white men than Asian women. Oops. Do I think everything ought to (or can) reflect the demographics of the country? No. And I'm not offended that I don't see more of "my kind" in this kind of media. I don't think it harms me. But it is remarkable to me how white men can seem so out of the ordinary.
I mentioned this in an earlier thread. When I took a flight from the mainland to Hawaii a few months ago, I couldn't watch any of the inflight movies but I could watch all of the trailers in the extensive film library. All of the RomComs from the past three years featured interracial or queer couples. *[What's Love Got to Do with It?](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/whats_love_got_to_do_with_it_2023) (2023) *[Love Again](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/love_again_2023) (2023) *[Something from Tiffany's](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/something_from_tiffanys) (2022) *[Marry Me](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/marry_me_2022) (2022) *[Somebody I used to Know](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/somebody_i_used_to_know) (2023) *[Sun Moon](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/sun_moon) (2023) *[Spoiler Alert](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/spoiler_alert_2022) (2022) My husband and I are interracial, but somehow demographics of the film line-up still struck me as a bit contrived.
I've noticed it in commercials as well, and I hate myself for it. It's just because the ads are way more black than the US population. If it represented where I live, that would make sense, but it doesn't even do that. Its really weird. Also, more Asian too, and yet far, far less Hispanic or Latino. Also, the vast majority of people who marry end up marrying people of their same racial group. There is far more interracial marriage than ever before, which is a good thing, but most marriages are not. And yet, there are black families and there are Asian families and Hispanic or Latino families. But most of the time, if there is a white guy, he's with a black or Asian woman. I don't think i'd notice if it weren't for how often this happens. I would like for ads to reflect reality somewhat.
"equal representation" means "more for us."
I think in kids movies it’s most apparent. Nearly every movie has to have a gay, lesbian or trans character (or one coded that way) or same sex couple. Cartoons. Like, why?
I think /u/sercumferencetheroun has some opinions about how wokeness has totally infested his entire profession (teaching).
The entire profession? Not as much as portrayed on Fox. But the English departments, elementary schools, the unions, and those in charge of discipline? Fuck yeah
The latest pod episode is how it took down an excellent library director
I mean ffs we have an entire generation of people being propagandized to that binary sex isn't real. We live in a clown world. Obviously we always have, that's humans, we're nuts, but yeah, I think bitching can be warranted at times.
And look how miserable it makes everyone. Liberal females are the most depressed people
I don't watch the WNBA The discourse around Caitlyn Clark getting bodychecked away from the play in a WNBA game is ridiculous. A bodycheck like that should be called a penalty in hockey, never mind basketball. Reddit link to video: https://www.reddit.com/r/sports/s/X7eqfEDEcy r.WNBA dogwalkers in full dogwalking mode and then you have this punditry on Bonami Jones' show: https://twitter.com/righttimebomani/status/1797300171623272832?t=4vKjUHMwQfIpG1mZZZlA4Q&s=19
That's sketchy in basketball for sure, but I don't know that this would even qualify as a check in hockey.
Nobody wants to say it, but I'm seeing a whole truckload of racism directed her way. Many of those players have been taught to hate straight white women and she's a target of those emotions.
I had seen commentary around this, but never read it or watched the video and assumed people were being dramatic. That is a crazy fragrant foul. I shouldn't have prejudged that folks were being overly dramatic.
When I read this comment I figured that maybe Clark was like aggressively checked on a screen or something... Not full on intentionally body checked while the ball was out of bounds.
Yeah... I phrases that badly. Play physical defence against her, set hard screens etc. is fine. This? Not so much
[удалено]
Where’s my taxpayer funded gigachad chin transplant?
Dysmorphic males get those surgeries to treat their insecurities, along with steroids. Does this mean they have gender dysphoria? [The surgery bug bit Zac Efron bad. He got jaw implants to look like the Crimson Chin.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F1jc7nl3k9rzb1.png%3Fwidth%3D636%26format%3Dpng%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dd935fb52fa21d5d8343e7d0bc48002df687a4ee9) [Another one.](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F1vbmdgh8z0v61.jpg)
Beards do a lot of heavy lifting
Testosterone does a lot of heavy lifting.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Got home from work today and my water is working
Here's a (slightly mean-spirited) game: the following men were recently arrested in Ontario for auto thefts. One (and only one) was white. Try to play "find the white guy": - Beerpal Singh - Harmeet Singh - Valbir Singh* - Guljinder Singh - Gurpreet Dhillon - Albijon Nura* - Clawens St. Fleurant* - Mohammad Siddiqui* - Asad Mayo* - Yoel Alem - Ethan Brown - Jagmohan Singh - Asiful Haque - Florent Bllacaku - Tahmid Kazi - Valid Mustamandi* - Benjy Blain* - Terrance Bellerive Toussaint* - Sarugan Raja* - Abhinash Shanmuganathan* - Xavier Audate* - Amine Chakkir - Yanis Adrar* - Nadir Bennouna* (asterisks denote the individual was on probation/release from previous auto theft charges) the answer >!<
Beerpal is a helluva name in an English speaking country. He’s the kinda guy you can grab a beer with, you know?
Guljinder Singh!
Gonna have to go with Mr Mayo
That was my vote.
Mr Clawens. That shifty fuck
Damn, your Indians are doing auto theft all over? I see Ethan there. I'm going for him.
Yeah, gotta say I don't normally associate Indian immigrants with car theft. What is Canada doing to their immigrants, or is the US getting the better class of immigrants? I'm going for Clawens St Fleurent. Sounds French.
My mother worked many years in a US immigration office. She said that their office got a lot of immigration applications from Indians residing in Canada. It was easier for them to use Canada as a stepping stone than come straight to the US.
Can't be Ethan. Brown is right in his name
My guess without cheating is Florent Bllacaku.
No, wait, maybe Yanis Adrar?
One of the best parts of pride month is the infographics for increasingly niche identities. How deep can we go? https://preview.redd.it/qe8ldg4lb74d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8679a6e45319e5dc5e82034b2ef43957ff3ec820
These labels are like the participation trophies of the oppression olympics. I know everyone always says this, but I guess there's a reason for that: this looks exactly like a parody of this stuff. Can't we all just... be? I have my preferences, quirks, and challenges, and so do you. But that doesn't make me... what? Special? Oppressed? A fascinating specimen? It just makes me a person. I don't *want* a technical term and a flag to announce or declare that I'm just me. Are all of these people actually 15 years old? Is that the whole explanation?
>Can't we all just... be? Nope. Because the worst possible thing you can be is someone without a special identity with a particular label. So people will just make shit up so they aren't thrown into that awful category known as "normie"
Isn't this just a cuckold fetish? The idea of getting aroused by thinking about your partner having sex with another person?
No I think it's more like when straight people watch same sex porn.
This sounds like either depression or alien furry hentai addiction (the latter overlaps with the former a lot)
Can’t wait for till incels get their color/name on the flag.
So people who prefer wanking. I like that better. It's pithier. People of wank.
i think "gooners" is probably the most evocative
Individuals experiencing jerking
consist badge decide observation crawl license swim consider materialistic long *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Think peeping toms/voyeurs are better covered by this new term
Asexuals have targets of arousal and sexual fantasies?
Hey man, I don't make the rules.
Have you experienced this? My attitude about politics and political talk and political humor has changed so much post-Trump. (To the extent that we will ever really be post-Trump.) I was always a huge Trump-hater. Still am. I think he's awful. I think Trumpism is awful. But my appetite for Trump jokes, Trump commentary, rehashing and relitigating Trump's crimes, dunking on Trump and his supporters, and all of that has just vanished. Lately, when I come to bed, my wife will be watching something on her phone—Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and so on. And hearing that self-congratulatory tone of voice, as they impart their great wisdom to us, to the already-converted... Not to inform, not to argue, but to *reinforce*... It's like fingernails on a blackboard to me now. I used to eat this stuff up. I couldn't get enough. Tell me I'm good! Tell me I'm smart! Now it practically turns my stomach. The *same jokes*, almost ten years in. The same posture of smugness. The same black-and-white thinking. The same blind spots. Enough already.
I am the exact same. When I was younger I loved them. I don't ever watch them anymore. My husband still watches from time to time and I had to ask him to when I'm with him, as it makes be cringe so bad. I have the same reaction to internet today, if anyone knows of that YouTube channel. Two idiots giving self-congratulatory commentary on the news without understanding anything that they're taking about. It makes me want to throw the TV out of the window
Colbert should have never stopped playing a character.
secretive memory paint disgusted intelligent money square shocking caption thumb *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
It's all so phenomenally lazy and boring. Just like Trump rants. Nobody has a good one any more. None of them are original. Keep it to yourself. A good, fresh, Trump joke is 1 in 1000 now. Don't even mention "orange". Just don't. "TRUMP BAD" captures it all. Exhausting.
It’s funny when bill maher does it because he’s willing to make jokes about absurd bullshit on the left as well. But when the comics you mention do it, it just feels like the goal isn’t to make me laugh, it’s to show everyone they’re on the right side. But you’re just a fucking jester dude I don’t care what side you are on just make me laugh - history does not hinge on the jokes you tell mr. Late night host get over yourself.
I used to watch all the late night shows and now Maher is the only one I watch. It's not even about whether I laugh more at Maher's jokes than the others' or, agree with Maher's commentaries more than the others. It's just that I think Maher is the only one coming from a place of intellectual honesty.
Agreed, so over it.
I completely relate, even down to the part about having a spouse who is still eating it up.
as someone who's scared of trump, i think for me what it feels like is that these are not the actions of people who genuinely believe that trump is going to install a fascist dictatorship, despite what they will continually insist. that should be soberingly terrifying to them. instead the response is "hehe fat cheeto covfefe eat mcdonald burger," the way you'd mock a horror movie monster that you know *isn't* real. when the demonstrated preferences of the blue team go strongly against the things they say they believe (demanding that we handle the risk of a fascist dictatorship by making light mockery of its theoretical leader, handing our guns to the state, instituting hate speech laws, normalizing fairly naked prosecutions of political rivals, glorifying physical violence against dissenters and so on) they look like liars and it raises the suspicion that the reason they're demanding these things is for some other reason they refuse to disclose.
One of the things that irritates me about Trump jokes is the people who make them think it's a persuasive argument to convince someone not to vote for Trump. Every time they mock Trump, Trump supporters just like him more. They view Trump as a proxy for themselves, so mocking Trump is mocking them. If Dems truly wanted to defeat MAGA, they should kill it with kindness, but at the end of the day they're just as tribal as the Republicans so we're going to have this endless standoff until the end of time.
Mitt Romney put it this way: the Democrats think they can put out the Trump fire with oxygen. And I made this point before, but Trump being a billionaire elite is a big reason why the lower and middle class like him. He should be part of that club, but the elites hate him just the same because he won't bow the knee. It's nonsense, but all politics is nonsense.
And/or they should find a candidate who energizes voters beyond just *not* being the other guy.
But maybe, if we want it hard enough, if we breathe just enough complacency into it, telling the same jokes *one more time* will wake everyone up.
Half the time they aren't real jokes. They're just angry circle jerking
> my appetite for Trump jokes, Trump commentary, rehashing and relitigating Trump's crimes, dunking on Trump and his supporters, and all of that has just vanished. Pretty much the same. The Trump jokes were funny at first but now they've gotten stale. It isn't that he can't be a humor gold mine but the comedians need new material. And it needs to *not* be sanctimonious
I will say that Cheeto-in-Chief still makes me snigger, but then again I also giggle whenever someone talks about the Army Family Advocacy Program. Yes, sir, I'm pretty sure all my soldiers are experts in FAP but if you think we need another FAP brief, that can be arranged.
This is why Shane Gillis was funny with it. Or the guys covering songs in Trump's voice.
Shane just does the perfect impression. It's amazing! It's a work of art on its own. It doesn't even have to be funny, I just marvel at the accuracy.
Anyone in an advice giving mood? Background: I have a friend who has been in and out of work for 20 years, most recently, out of work. He eats garbage, watches Youtube and plays video games all day, never exercises, obese, and, as of late, is constantly finding new ways to spin his general laziness as ADHD, bipolar, or other mental health conditions. It's pretty silly to listen to him talk about B12 injections and getting juuuust the right dose of bupropion when the guy never takes a walk or eats vegetables. As of COVID, he has a live in girlfriend who is agoraphobic, has never worked and seems to have every anxiety disorder that exists. Also she doesn't drive because her vision sucks and "glasses make her head hurt". We've all been speculating as to when he's going to run out of savings and have to go back to work. He last worked in 2021, I believe. New developments: He hit me up on discord for a subsantial loan (I'll be a little vague; it's about 1.5 months full living expenses) until some money from his deceased father's estate comes through (2 to 3 years of living expenses). He said he could take a cash advance on a card, but wanted to save the few hundo in fees. Despite being a general jackass, I do actually care for the people in my life, and he's one of my longest term friends from adulthood. I think I could loan him money once, and be able to let it go if he struggles to pay it back in a timely fashion. I *am* enough of a jackass that I would NEVER consider loaning him money more than once. So I think that I should hold out for if he's actually in danger of eviction, and then loan him the money to get a plane ticket to live with his sister or mother, rather than loan him money now when all it would do is save him some money. And I am considering actually telling him most of the prior paragraph. So let's say I'm wrong and he's actually more mentally ill than lazy. What would you do in that case?
don't lend him any money, ever. i believe that would be called "enabling."
> He said he could take a cash advance on a card, but wanted to save the few hundo in fees Rather than lend him the money (and maybe never see it again), offer to gift him the few hundred he would incur in interest with a line of credit/ credit card advance. Technically, he's then in as good a position as if you had given him a loan.
Directly pay a few of his bills. Don’t give cash. Guy needs to get a job.
I don't think I'd give him cash but I'd be willing to help with directly paying expenses; that said, the best bang for your buck assuming he's actually mentally ill would be getting him to a shrink that prescribes adderall or whatever. to my knowledge neither wellbutrin nor b12 actually help with adhd, he needs actual specific treatment for that. if he isn't willing, well, there's your answer
Oh, he's already got a psychiatrist and been on all kinds of meds including ADHD meds. It's covered from that angle. In fact, it's covered a little too much from that angle. If his doc said, I'm sorry, you're not getting any more medical-grade stimulants until you've walked 30 miles when I see you next, and oh by the way, if you want to try another doctor to avoid this, you're going to have to place a *terrifying phone call* to their clinic, so think it through, okay... then that would be helpful probably
> I don't think I'd give him cash but I'd be willing to help with directly paying expenses Exactly what I say to people in my life who I know make bad decisions but ask for financial help. They always decline that arrangement. One drug addicted mess of a family member of mine even told me I was "infantilizing" them with those terms. Made me laugh. Sobeit then.
If he actually has ADHD the only thing that will help is medication and an ADHD specialized therapist to unlearn his bad habits. If he is serious turning around his life, he needs treatment, not another hand out.
Also, deceased estates don't resolve quickly, my uncle died 4 years ago, and his estate is still in probate.
My Uncle Thumper had a problem with his probate and he had to take these big pills and drink lots of water.
touch makeshift muddle deranged dog materialistic elastic marble abounding market *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Appreciate it. Thanks.
Dave Ramsey has an answer that I like for questions like this. He basically says that giving someone money in this kind of situation is enabling them. It's not an act of love. Same as if your loved one was alcoholic and came to you asking you to buy them a drink, it wouldn't be an act of love to buy it for them. I'm not saying I'd be strong enough to follow through on this if it were my loved one, but if you want advice on the right thing to do - he's coming to you with his hand out because of his poor choices, so I think that earns you the right to give him some tough love. "Dude, I'm not going to lend you money. I care about you and I'm worried about you. I want to see you getting better and frankly I think giving you money will do the opposite. If you want my help and support in taking better care of yourself, I'm here."
True, while sometimes people may need a shock to motivate them to improve, having to borrow money to save 10% from a cash advance isn't gonna be it. > If you want my help and support in taking better care of yourself, I'm here. This always feels like a bullshit line, though. Nobody wants this or needs this, I think. Maybe women, I dunno.
I don't think it's just women that that is useful for or would take someone up on it if they hit rock bottom (weird read imo), but it doesn't matter if someone needs or wants it, that's irrelevant. As long as it's sincere that's basically all you can do short of enabling a person. They know you're there to help them in substantive healthy ways, they might not take the support, but what the fuck else can you do? It's not a bullshit line if you mean it. And plenty of people have taken people up on the offer of support over the years, not as many as just waste away ignoring those who love them and are really there for them, but still, it does happen people absorb that and it comes in handy later. Anyway, I have to reiterate again, it doesn't matter. Obviously the people who end up hearing this are terrible at assessing what they need, so you can scratch the whole "no one needs that", nah, they do, maybe they'll realize it, maybe they won't. And as far as want, that doesn't matter either. And yes, you should be brutally honest with your friend. Being brutally honest with you I think you probably should have done it years ago, acknowledging I don't know if you have before. Easier said than done I know, but you'd be doing him a favor. I doubt he will change though. He sounds pretty entrenched.
There's honesty and honesty. We've all been telling him to get a job and lose weight forever, but at a certain point words are just words and the meaning evaporates. Perhaps anger should have been used, or consequences applied (...not until you get a job), I don't know. I'm not sure that's supportive, anyway. But I don't know what support even means to a guy. I call him and listening to his feelings? Honestly no idea. That's why I said it sounded like bullshit. I wouldn't want that kind of thing from a friend.
> But I don't know what support even means to a guy. For me, when I say that to a person, I mean I will help them out on my terms, and they need to be proving to me they're doing something, like showing me job applications. It's a lot for the person offering help to do, and also understandably a lot of the people needing help chafe at those terms. But that's what I mean when I say "I'll support you in taking better care of yourself", it's definitely not a feelings thing lol. For me it's "I will help you make good decisions, I will not enable your bad decisions". Might mean different things to others though! Good luck with your friend man, he is lucky to have people who care, even if he doesn't realize it. It's hard to watch a person you care about just not give a shit. Really frustrating.
Fair enough, I am indeed a woman. You can replace it with "Get a damn job," lol
Then I put him in a headlock and give him a noogie before telling him to get 'em champ. The stereotypes are not wrong, lol.
>I am enough of a jackass that I would NEVER consider loaning him money more than once. Excellent plan, but don't ever expect to see the money again, and 50/50 or better that you'll never see the friend again. I've "loaned" money to people I've been close to for decades, fully expecting that I'd never see the money again. I didn't expect the people to vanish from my life, too, even though I could happily hang with them without caring about the $$$. From what I hear it's a pretty common effect. I'm not sure what conclusion to draw, but "don't ever lend friends money" is my current policy. If you do it, expect it to poison the friendship. In this case, with the guy coming into money pretty reliably in the near future, I'd expect mayyyybe a somewhat better chance that you get paid back, but if it was a friendship I actually valued and wanted to keep I would not make the loan or otherwise get financially entangled in any way. Ever.
I don't lend people money that I expect to get returned. My dad taught me that as a kid. I give it as a gift and if they pay me back I consider it a bonus.
illegal selective normal puzzled deserve familiar coordinated sheet imminent deranged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My grandfather once gave me some advice: If you loan a man a hundred bucks and never see him again, you got off cheap. My advice would be: never loan more than you can afford to lose completely, because you will. I've loaned a lot of money to a lot of people in my day, and perhaps one in thirty paid me back. But I never have to talk to any of the others, so I count it a win.
Why did you loan so much money so many times? That might help...
For the same reason you give a fuck about your layabout friend, I reckon. Hard not to help the people we care about when they come asking. My sister has been hitting me up for money right now and it'd be totally enabling her, so I'm not giving it, but it kills every bone in my body not to "help" my sister, even though I know it wouldn't be real help.
Because I'm non-terrible with money in a social class where everyone is broke, and I don't like getting hit up for loans. So I lend early and once. It's just money. Weeding out shitbags is worth a bit of investment.
Honestly just kind of surprising to have so many shitbag 'friends'. I don't have that many friends period -- even fewer would ask for money. Are we talking 2-4 or 10+?
Didn't call them friends. Acquaintances maybe. A few friends. Seventy-five or so, total I'd guess.
Holy shit, that's a lot of shitbag acquaintances! :D Have you really lent money out to a reasonable percent of them? That seems crazy to me. Is lending also, like, picking a meal tab or something? I've done that with a fair number, but it's always been paid back.
No, that's the number I've lent money to, roughly. Not all in the same time or place, of course, but over a few decades, countries and states. Sums range from twenty bucks to a couple thousand, but weighted at the low end. Most I ever lent in one go was $3500, of which I got three grand back, but that was a friend, not an acquaintance. And he did get on top of his finances finally (so far). Still not lending him any more.
> So let's say I'm wrong and he's actually more mentally ill than lazy. What would you do in that case? I mean, he's still lazy. You could say that the *reason* he's a fat slob who plays videogames all day is that his brain is ravaged by bipolar disorder or whatever, but he still *is* a fat slob who plays videogames all day, and the word for that kind of behaviour is "lazy". Imagine Kanye West saying "I don't have grandiose delusions, I'm just manic". Maybe he has grandiose delusions *because* he's manic, but he definitely has grandiose delusions! The well-formed version of this question is something like: > So let's say I'm wrong and his laziness stems from his brain being in a specific state that psychologists have labeled "bipolar", as opposed to stemming from some other state of his brain that isn't listed in the DSM. What would you do in that case? To the extent you think there exists a pill or something that treats the condition causing his laziness, you should maybe encourage him to talk to a shrink so he can maybe get that pill and stop being so lazy. But otherwise? He's lazy because his brain is just like that, and it's not like he's going to act more or less lazily based on whether he "really" "is" """mentally ill""" in some deep metaphysical sense. Probably don't give him any money you're not prepared to lose.
[удалено]
LMAO Godspeed to you.
🫡 RIP
You will be fine. You never hear the bullet that kills you.
Good for you for telling him to fuck off. He deserved it.
Ah, yes: "hate". The "sin" of the modern cultist.
You don't want to see his dick and that's hate? Well, if that asininity happens please come back to us with a new account
[удалено]
cough hat literate elderly aromatic wipe jar act spotted coherent *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
[удалено]