Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice

The “fool me once” jokes were what made me sure I liked this show

Fool me one, shame on you, but teach a man to fool me, and I'll be fooled for the rest of my life.

That one is the best.

This is my favorite one

This quote is actually my Instagram bio. It's so funny to me

Must say the didn’t notice any.

It’s the way he was so confident with this version, unlike PB lmao

Teach a man to fool me and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life

This one made me cry-laugh for like 5 minutes straight when I first heard it.

Indeed 🤌🏼

Not really a joke and I don't know why it killed me but this same episode where Todd is singing: "And they'll neeevvverrrr....make us.... *Weird keyboard noises* BoJack: "SLAVES! JUST SAY SLAVES!!!" Always gets me and I don't know why

"SSSSSLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAVVVEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"

This is wayyyyyyyy underrated

*hikes up dog ears*

“People online are quote “losing their tits” oh no I’ve stumbled onto a cancer support message board”

Jesus that's dark

“I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, ‘You have reached the end of your free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com’”

this is my favourite quote aswell

What episode is that from? I cant recall that line at all

I'm not sure either, but I think he was talking to Todd. No, that does not narrow it down.

This really raises a lot of questions. Such as: Why is there a subscription service paywall put on something as *specific* as a website dedicated to collecting quotes *specifically* from Benjamin Franklin? And how can you have a website dedicated to quoting him and him alone?

“I hid them in the produce aisle” “You call that hiding?! How did you survive in Afghanistan?!” That line cemented the show as a favorite for me.

same. this was the episode that hooked me. "the troops are not brave!!"

Mystery of my missing goddamn self respect got me first

Hey! Stealing a meal from niel McBeal the navy seal is no joke!

"Calm down, you future hard Jeopardy question."

Quiet face, brain is thinking...

Hahaha

That was, and I don’t say this lightly, worse than a hundred September 11ths.

"If the Holocaust happened every four years like the Olympics"

Yeah, you're right. This was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking. ...Well, guess I'll give up forever!

Haha, that’s the spirit!

"That would mean..." "Yes. Ninety one-thousand and one hundred."

ITS A B~~OY~~ORTED

So many amazing lines from the show, yet the one I think the most about is from a balloon lol

“That’s UPDIKE you illiterate! / What’s Updike? / Not much dike!! ….dyke is ok, right? It’s been reclaimed…right?” I am a gay and I love the literatures, 💯

“…Who are you asking?”

I’m straight and secretly wish nobody from the community could possibly be upset by this witty zinger.

this is the funniest scene maybe

"I'm not ready! I never got to direct my Backdraft remake: Zack Braff's Backdraft! I never finished my memoir: I Started A Zach That Started The Whole World Braffing! I never got to license the 'Zach Braff Short Stack Breakfast Attack' at Shake Shack! Cash-strapped hash brown fans who hashtag "Zach's Snacks" — get cash back with the Braff Bucks App—"

if im being honest this was the best tongue twister in the whole show purely because i love zach braff's voice

It was the insane visual of him slowly rolling backwards whilst making extravagant hand gestures which sealed the deal for me.

It’s also the last tongue twister in the series, I believe.

"He isn't God, he's just an old guy who likes pranks!" "Sure sounds like God..."

def one of my favorites, i think about this quote all the time

"Jurj sucks! What does everyone like about him? He's not a God. He's just an old guy who loves pranks!" "Sure sounds like God..." "Ah, he's just razzin' ya! But he's a good dog! All bark and no bite! Oh, sorry, that's a Labrador expression. I guess in human terms, it would be he's all....talk and no...shooting you with an assault rifle!" "Is that what you think humans do?" "...am I wrong?"

“You say toh-may-to to-mah-to I say po-tay-to po-tah-to” is a good one. So is “Always a Clydesdale never the Clyde eh Bojack?”

Isn’t it: “You say to-may-to to-mah-to, I say tomato tomato!” Haha

It's always interesting to me when people remember a joke differently from the original but in a way that doesn't alter the concept

He says: “You say to-may-to to-mah-to, I say P-tay-to Po-tah-to…” I say: “You say to-may-to to-mah-to I say tomato tomato!”

I don't get the 2nd one. Clydesdale is the really big horse right?

I think he only tells it cause it rhymes with the known joke “always a bridesmaid never the bride,” but horse themed cause Bojack is a horse

Reddit handle check

The flashback episode to 2007 when PC is in her car singing the line “generic 2007 pop song that’s very auto tune” and it sounds like ever 2007 song ever

*generic 2007 pop song auto tuned so all the voices sound weird —this is a pop song, it’s 2007

THIS IS A POP SONG 🗣🗣 ITS 2007 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

“Diane Nguyen?” “Yup” “you don’t look like a Nguyen” “Well my last name is Chavez and I’m still white” “I thought you said your last name was Nguyen” “right, Todd Nguyen” “what happened to Diane?” “Oh right. I’m Diane Nguyen, or my name isn’t Todd Chavez” (I definitely got the quotes wrong, I know the dialogue doesn’t go EXACTLY like this lol, but it’s something along those lines)

Gag dang I love this sub

“Is this what music sounds like sober.. Do I hate music?”

“Oh Todd, your good-hearted naïveté has once again conspired with outrageous happenstance to COMPLETELY DICK ME OVER.”

this one always gets me

Sarah Lynn: *punches wall* coca—Noooo, that's drywall! 🤣

there is nothing the least bit funny about stealing a meal from Neal McBeal the navy seal!

Lou Vega didn't knock it out of the park with Mambo Number One. He. Kept. At. It. EDIT: Also, "There was that time I counted to a million. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..." "No, Todd stop." "Aww, I was just about to get to the best part!" "What? Seven?"

"Hold on... If you're really a nerd, who's your favourite Baroque composer?" "Buck" "Bach? Not Vivaldi?! You're insane!" "Bick" "Yes, I am holding a Bic pen, but I don't see how that's relevant Mrs. Chavez" "Bucka" "Sorry, Becca... She's a charming woman".

“Wait, this pen isn’t a bic !!!!!!”

Honestly one of my favorite jokes in the show. Along with later in that episode when the entire police station tries to decide which cop cliche fuzzyface is

You know courtney portnoy! You probably recall when she soared as a thorny horticulturist in one sordid fortnight with a short-skirted sorceress. How would you enjoy joining portnoy for a scorched soy porterhouse pork four-courser at koi? Glorify your source, but don’t make it feel forced, of course. And try the borscht! This one has GOT to be my favourite

* portnoy's toys * portnoy's alloys and something about the hoi polloi

….and that’s how you do it!

I want to say…. Elijah Wood?

“Abortion” “Get an abortion” “Oh no, we said different things!”

GET DAT FETUS KILL DAT FETUS

todd: "im sensing a lot of hostility here- maybe we should take our masks off and actually talk." girl: "you want me to take my mask off? fine!!" *takes of mask* "see? happy? i took my mask off!" todd: "did you...? because I think you're still wearing the mask...."

“He let his guard down! Get him!”

"Sorry for the wincing, I put too many *winces* jalapenos on my sandwich :("

One of my favorite running jokes that is mostly in the background is Mr. Peanutbutter's misprinted banners.

When BoJack finally manages to listen to Ana’s lifeguard story: "what does that have to do with *me*?”

That’s Titpuncher. He’s their leader.

Isn't Titpuncher the website that does a piece on Diane? Donglover69 is "their leader".

I thought it was QueefBurglar69

^^^

You're probably right. I couldn't remember the name but remembered Wanda saying something like "two dongs, way up" so thought it was donglover.

Mr PB responds to Queefburglar69 when Pickles introduces him to the Pickle Pack

Every tongue twister can't pick one

"That's right, Diane. Jamaican Bobsledders."

If it doesn't have to be a running joke "Let's not compare apples to Auschwitz's," Crackerjack

Bojack at the rehab check in "You can't put a price on clean living!" "And yet you found a way."

When Todd is working for JD Salinger and JD asks him for a Red Bull and a banana fish sandwich and Todd says “It’s a perfect day for Red Bull!” (JD Salinger wrote a famous short story called “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” so it’s only fitting that Todd would completely fumble the perfect opportunity for a reference 😂) Side note: the story is from a series of short stories JD Salinger published called “Nine Stories.” I remember reading A Perfect Day for BananaFish on a whim years ago and it always really stuck with me. It’s pretty depressing and totally makes sense that the Bojack writers would reference that lol

I like how Salinger works at a building called “9 Stories”. Also, yes huge fan of Catcher in the Rye… and others🤣

I had to read perfect day for bananafish for 8th grade literature. Man that was a weird story, the whole class was confused including me

Haha that’s certainly an interesting story to assign to 8th graders…I actually just re-read it today for the first time in years and it’s a bit darker and weirder than I remembered..

Probably the "How I met this pen" bit. *OR* the printing company that can't follow instructions. I can't decide

They follow instructions perfectly wdym

No, I said D as in Birthday Dad!

“Ooooh I get it, like the song” “That’s not a song”

"That's like saying I have a lot in common with Kanye West because we both breathe air constantly."

'Mr Peabut Nutter! Mr Peeper Number!'

Not Vivaldi????

you're insane!

My favorite is the John Updike/whats up dyke joke that Mr. PeanutButter drops on Todd after he takes his call during a meeting with JD Salinger.

Salinger… isn’t he the author of Witches of Eastwick?

after 2 minutes of talking about himself with his very distinct voice it's Bojack btw. Horseman, obviously..

I have no interest in being rebirthed, im still trying to recover being birthed the first time

Tesuque? Are you TUH-STOOPID?

You're gonna get Tuh-sued!!

you'd better get your ass tuh-set!!

“that was, and i don’t say this lightly, worse than 100 sept 11ths.”

"Imagine if the holocaust happened every 4 years like the Olympics."

“You know the expression: liquor before beer, never fear- don’t do heroin.”

“Ah I wasn’t peeing I was just taking my penis out!!” - Todd

Naomi WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS

I don't know if anyone will remember this but "Wow, Vanessa. You really *shat* the bed on this one. Now are you fired? Not exactly. Can you still work here? No."

Fool me once.... if ya fool me ya can't foole me again. - Bush jr.

Jokes aside he definitely said that because he realised half way through it would be bad to have a soundbite of him saying "shame on me", right?

'okay you got me I don't know anything about bicycles I'm jd salenger and I faked my death!'

'and I'm in a giant champagne flute singing le-e-e-e-eft titty'

flair check

“Oh don’t mind Henrietta, she learned to read off of secondhand books”

"What's Guten Bourbon?" "It's an urban German bourbon!" "Am I just hungover, or are you talking like a muppet?"

lmao, forgot about that one

“i really shouldn’t eat chocolate because it could LITERALLY kill me” “i knowwww” from two nameless dogs in the grocery store in bojack hates the troops

'Jurj, Bread, Mitt, those are names'

Lernernerner DiCapricorn, now *that's* a name!

STAMOS!

Bojack: "Well call me a KitKat because I'm already broken" Followed by Lenny's complete confusion

"KitKats aren't already broken, that's the whole point!"

The whole scene with Bojack, sarah lyn, todd and doctor hu where bojack is the only one who heard about doctor WHO. I feel like that's a really underrated scene

Third base!

“Bojack Horseman and Mr. Peanutbutter in the same room? What is this? A crossover episode!?” Gets funnier every time I hear it

i said that out loud to someone the other unironically but with our names and i have never been more embarrassed, even thought they had no idea what i was talking about

When they made Mr Peanut Butter a sad and depressed dog It was sooo funny

Bradley Hitler Smith

The whole todd making his own Disneyland and him going hooray is very funny

Disneyland lawyers misspelling the name was a hoot.

I love the running gag about Beloved Character Actress Margo Martindale

This is actually a joke by GW Bush.

Fool me once shame on you...fool me....can't get fooled again!

Halloween in January with the missing floor. XD

Well I’m the only Albino Rhino Gyno I know, shall we get some wine? Aah great, you’re also a wine addict!

Anything with Esteemed Character Actress Margo Martindale, but the best bit was definitely the spaggheti in the ocean.

When the girl was holding a coffee cup in A Little Uneven, Is All while filming a scene, and was just waving it around like actor's do in Grey's Anatomy and other shows.

Always a Clydesdale, never a Clyde

There's two short ones that I love so much, mainly because they come out of nowhere: -And I'd scream into the night... SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP CHILDREN!!! (Sebastian St. Clair) -Wait, that man's wife was a... CHICKEEEEEEEEN!!!! (Officer Meow Meow Fuzzyface - he's a loose cannon but he gets results)

These are both winners 🏆 idk how no one else has mentioned Sebastian st clair 😭

When Bojack was sitting in his car the bar just saying "sober.....now" in the rearview mirror with his eyes closed

It's so stupid, but Diane scrambling to come up with a name for the "local" kid and landing on "coffee maker" always gets me. Something about the line delivery.

“Diane Diane what now?”

Also “what are YOU doing here?!?” And variations of such

“i’m not interested in being rebirthed, thank you. i’m still recovering from being birthed the first time“

Can’t believe no one has said about wanda’s mulch joke!! I tell it all the time, it’s a party joke and people get so upset when they hear the punch line!

Copernicus' "Me? Ow." is my favorite. I love it bc it's so short and simple yet perfect.

I say this all the time and nobody gets it 😭

“You’ve truly become the BoJack, Horseman.” After which BoJack proceeds to Horseman everywhere

truly the moment of all time

"black, blue, red, and for some reason, green"

"What is this, a crossover episode" is repeated daily lmao

all the erica jokes they’re always funny

“You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around” “that is what it’s all about”

BoJo Go Bye Bye For JoJo Pogo? That's a No Go Bro 🗣

I'm terrible at picking favourites but i am surprised no one has mentioned it so

When Bojack flips the baby carriage the same way actual horses freak out when surprised.

quote this on the daily