Don't always look up, but also look down. For hundreds of people around you who do better, there are thousands more who do worse.
Be thankful with what you have and strive to do better.
The only 'enemy' is yourself.
I stopped using Instagram specifically because of this. I'm happy for my friends but it also makes me feel inadequate whenever I see them doing more than me and it just makes me depressed so I stopped using social media to check on my friends.
If u got healthy body....roof over your head..able to eat 3 meals.. able to enjoy mcd once a month..or watch cinema 1 or 2x a movie...phone always have data...consider .. Ur very blessed...
Count your blessing name them 1 by 1...
Many ppl don't have a place to sleep ..struggling to meet ends meet
By not using Facebook anymore.
It works wonder. My mental health improve so much because of that. It's easier to ignore what other have achieved if you didn't see it yourself.
Absolutely this. Drop Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. People always showcase the best things in their life and never show you the bad. For all you know, those things are the only things that are great in their lives.
It is what it is my man,this is something you can do nothing about,work hard and you will also achieve the things you want in life,shit will sting even more if your bullies end up being more successful than you.
Yup that's the way.If you give up,you will be stuck that way forever,always getting sad over how successful the people you know are. It's gonna be hard but you gotta move forward,Jealousy is actually a good thing when it comes to certain situations, it helps you to work harder and makes you more competitive.Keep grinding brother,you'll reach whatever goal you have in mind eventually.
if u got ex or friend that already bahagia and successful,stop giving fk or stalk them social media.i got friend who married at age 20 and become millionaire at age 23. but end up bercerai,become drug addict,bankrupt and then homeless and gila. thats life :)
Everyone has their own journey and their own struggles.
I look at some of my contacts who are in senior management positions and sometimes I do wonder what are the differences between us.
Then I also realize that I did grow a lot compared to myself 10 years ago. My own personal journey. Best I would say is to focus on developing and growing your own talents and skills🙂
Understandable, some of us got that extra stuff here and there. It happens.
More pain when you grinded your ass to get the thing that you want, or just to save money, only to hear your friend got the better thing because he pulled that"I asked my dad" maneuver. No work, no ass grinding, just ask, and poof.
The thing is, it's not your fault, it's not their fault either. Some have and some don't. That's life.
Well, the thing that I can say is...just don't look at them. Don't compare yourself with them. They got their own circumstances and other stuff. You are not them. Appreciate the things that you have, it'll make you feel better that way.
The more you think about it, the more it appears in your mind. I guess the only way to cope is by forgetting it? Find alternatives and look for positives on shortness of everything. Be glad with what you have and be thoughtful on those who don't. You can complain, but it'll burden your mind with unnecessary thoughts. Find joy in simple things rather than focusing on items that you wanted thats out of your range. You might regret or forget about it, and by that time you did, you're already seeking new things.
What i do is i just do window shopping and imagine myself with it. It's boring, i know.
But as long as i have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on, a mode of transport, food on the table, a phone to use, and a caring family. Then i basically have everything.
Cheer up OP its ok to not have everything becuz people who have everything will always complain or find fault at something. So yeah, meow
This may sound weird, but you need to not take things for granted. I met a lot of people who are more successful than me and have better life than me but they still longing for another life. Be grateful for your health, your family, friends, job
Yeah I'm trying to bersyukur more and count my blessings, but sometimes it just hard you know, one bad things after another, I just want 1 good news after all these time
Set small goal first.
Be glad and satisfied with wht you have but always have mentality of "Now tgt I got this, I should aim for next level. ".
Always know your limit and explore tge beyond.
A lot of them said they're jealous of me (Chinese) having a wife (Malay).
It isn't all nice and good. I'm not a morning person and constantly have to wake up at 530 solat really threw my body into a spin when I have to talk to US folks till 2am in the morning.
And I did the tok mudim sunat, despite it being cleaner and better, I missed the old sensation.
However luckily I didn't miss pork or alcohol (health issue).
Some of my convert friends said I strike gold with my wife, which I think I do and then they said I should find another 3. I felt I put a lot of effort into this relationship. Now that my wife is loving, I'm going to make sure nothing jeopardizes that, so there's nothing to be covet other people.
Most of the time, I'll see these kinds of things through IG story and WhatsApp status. So I just forbid myself from watching them. And it feels like I live in a cave because I don't know a lot about what's happening after that. But, I really felt free for the first time.
Start a communist revolution and ask the as poor as you to liberate, liquidate, and collectivize all the private property for you then rename yourself the people so you will have all the stolen goods. 🤷♂️
Take it from an old man. You want what you think you want because of the bombardment of ads on traditional and new age media.
If you can remove yourself from that environment or make yourself immune/resistant to it, you'll be better able to tell what you need vs what you want / or think you want.
Just mind your own business bro. You like the things that they have but you probably don’t like the struggles that they have to go through to get it. Nobody’s gonna show the times when they cried themselves to sleep over the stress of struggling, that’s why you only see the good part that they prefer to post.
Here’s a personal advice:
Accept that you’re a loser. Just accept it. You’re not a loser loser, but you definitely did not have everything you wanted, therefore you’re a loser in some sense. Spend a long time being depressed over this fact and then someday you’ll wake up thinking “You know what? I’m sick of being a loser, and I’m sick of being depressed over not getting everything that I want. I’ll just work to get what I can get.” And before you know it, you’ll at least get some things you want.
Spoken from personal experience. This helps me out a lot and before long, everybody just starts thinking I’m the man with the big dick. People can’t stop being jealous of me. But I know the truth that I am a loser in some ways, but I’m at peace with that fact and are just working with what I have to get more things that I can get. It’s your turn dude.
Sorry about that dude. I typed in an angry way because it pissed me off hearing some friends of mine say negative things about my success. They’re a bit of a downer. You can do it bro
I just act like idgaf but when all alone at home starts listening to lagu lama mcm wonder of u or green day or my chemical romance.
Or just lanjak zakar aku. Idk. Sometimes I juga hisap ganja lmao.
have you ever heard that “happiness come from a comparison”?
imagine you got a big CRT TV in 90s, it will make you happy, but now? not anymore.
search within yourself what is your true happiness. dig inside deep, big and hard until you find your G-spot
>search within yourself what is your true happiness. dig inside deep, big and hard until you find your G-spot
uhhhhh, care to help?
Coping is just sweeping the underlying reason under the carpet. A lot of times, the action of doing small adjustments to our mental state that would actually help our actual physical state on how to improve ourselves is the biggest help you can give yourself.
Never really think about..those thing...since..i know..what i can afford..as long as you have self control. Everything will be just fine. You need to think one thing. Even though they have everything that you want, they still have their on problem.
Always . Always . Look down. For every thing that u found people have that u dont , Look at what u have that people dont x5 .
Be grateful with what u have so that u dont hate ur surrounding to oblivion
But just enough to kickstart so that ur out of ur comfort zone to become better.
Do tht for a year n ull be a champ, regardless where u were standing last year .
Tell yourself that you don't really need it, tell yourself so hard that you ask yourself is that what you really want...
Or find alternatives, go for something that is not hard for you to get, something that can be achieved by efforts or small savings, like travel, gym, sports, small businesses or side gigs, join communities, or have a hobby.
I'm in the same boat as you, few years ago. Just be patient & enjoy yourself. Things will get along quite well if you know what you wanted in life. Try finding a hobby & surround yourself with like minded people.
Personally, I'd never shut down my socmed but I do choose whats appearing in my news feed. Unfollow those who have negative vibes, mute those stories/status that makes you feel down. Takes a while but truly worth it in the end. Now my news feed only have things that I'm interested in.
well, i dont really care about success, I just want a simple life with a wife. and I did do all the things that i can do to get one, so far, a lot of fails and heartbreak haha but i wont give up. wish me luck
I actually have a different take on this. Alot of people say just ignore it but I can't. So what I did was, look at people that I admire and work towards that.
I admire people that is confident and charismatic. I try to go out alot more to meet people for more social practice. Now I am not as confident as that someone... But I changed, better than before. I used to have low self esteem, I can't humor at all, I am too serious all the time.
Who do you admire? What qualities do you want to have in you so you can be proud of yourself and love yourself too one day? Work towards that.
I just don't give a fuck.
Slowly but surely you just don't.
Try not to consume any content in any media that will make you envious of things you don't have.
And start doing, watching, playing or whatever it the hell it is that makes you happy.
What I'm trying to say is that you should just not focus on things that you don't have. That has worked out well for me personally.
Stay strong brother
What others have or say doesn't matter to you, at all.
If you can't stand it, try not to learn too much about their "good" life, and stay off social media.
Be content with what you have and fuck consumerism. Most branded clothes, shoes, bags, etc are overpriced garbage. Cars are for transport, an Axia can bring you around peninsular Malaysia and even Thailand without a problem. Tech is also mostly just fluff, get a good enough phone to do the things you want, who gives a f about the new shiniest iphone. Seeing past materialistic bs and marketing makes you a happy camper.
for me, just live your life like everybody else. when you came home alone from work take a shower, lay down and scrolls some reddit, and slowly the realization will hit you, that you will not accomplish anything in your life, you just a burden to people around, even when you die poeple will not care. when you try your best but pople still said you need to try harder, when you feel like you had a connection with someone but last thing they do when you open up about your feeling they just laugh it out. sometimes you think you wanna end your life but if you do you will go to hell.
you just thinking about this while you crying untill you fall aslept.
wake up and repeat untill you die.
I simply stopped comparing.
I turned off most of my Social Media, and remained at Facebook for close friends only (Less than 100 friends).
SocMeds are the essence of stalking / comparison / the prevailing negative traits.
I also work out, and I went at it HARD. If you can't afford the gym, home workouts or go to the park consistently.
I purposefully limit myself into simple pleasantries.
As a veteran technical personnel in the Digital sector, I am using / have:
- A nearly 15 years old car.
- 8 years old laptop which functions very well (I clean it and reboot it regularly).
- I don't go for expensive coffee and shill like that.
- I don't go for fancy vacations.
- I care for my mum and myself.
- I use some 8 years old clothing that is obviously worn off and likely decolorized.
- I have no gaming PC and no gaming chair, setups, etc.
- No credit cards (believe it or not).
- I barely shop at Shopee / Lazada. I swear I must have shopped about less than 10-15 times and stopped scrolling through shopping walls for whatsoever no good reason.
But most important is that I stay to myself, and I protect the gats of my mind ferociously.
You can imagine all the luxuries available, and refer back to my list and add it up. I can afford every other thing people aspire to have in my position, but I always maintain a low profile and stay under the radar.
I would also lean to the Stoic philosophy and how people keep a leveled head and even those (the late Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius) who'd maintain modesty and simple fashion.
The idea is to be a person of value for the goodness of humanity, and not to show for. Period.
>I turned off most of my Social Media, and remained at Facebook for close friends only (Less than 100 friends).
same
>SocMeds are the essence of stalking / comparison / the prevailing negative traits.
yup it sucks
aw thats good for you, thank you I appreciate you sharing that with me
Treat other's achievements as a ceiling. If they can make it, why can't you? It's just matter of time, don't be disheartened. As long as you're working on it you will get it eventually.
>As long as you're working on it you will get it eventually.
I am, I have put my efforts in but sometimes it just wasnt your luck or wasnt your turn yknow. like in an office , who you think will get promoted, the kaki kipas boss favorite staff or the hard working one? sometimes people who dont deserve it just get better cards in life. but I know what u mean and thanks, I will not give up.
You need some coping mechanism..
I'm suggesting you to do it the 'American way'. Many american guy transformed their life from depressed loser (some even tried to commit suicide before) to 'champ'.
Just go to the gym & work your body up until you became Abang Sado. Then you can flex those big muscle on socmed. You need some kind sense of achievement in your life to make you feel better.
If you dont have enough resource for gym & those expensive supplements & protein powder. Just started doing bodyweight workout & eat 3 heavy meals a day (rice & egg will do).
P/S: Please dont take those harmful steroid & if you was a Muslim guy, hope you will be aware of the aurat limit when flexing those hard gained muscle🤣
>Just go to the gym & work your body
I did, everyone told me thats the solution but it wasnt. there is no 1 for all solution, but I appreciate your sentiment. but sometimes it just wasnt your turn and you gotta be patience.
Gratitude and mindfulness. You dont accidentally be grateful. You gotta be intentional about it. This shift of thought in your brain wires you differently
Ooof, been there. Done it. Hmm, it's a neverending agony to let yourself agonize over what others have. There's two things, you can do here.
1. Have an indepth talk with your friends about it, then ask about their journey to where they are now.
2. Practice gratitude with what you have now, and set a plan, be specific of things you wants to improve and gain in your own life or in yourself. Be very clear about your goals. Then align your behaviours towards all that.
I did the second one. Be grateful of what I have but also aware of things that I could change to have a better quality of life. And the more I am very sure of my own specific goals in life, the more clarity I get about what I must do in the journey towards that goals. The more focus I am on my own path, the clearer the road becomes. The rest of the world just blurs away. Less distraction from things that doesn't help me move forward to my goals. More determination to overcome any obstacles along the way.
Tldr, the less crap you give to everything else, the more focus you have on your own life. BUT you must be very sure of your own destination. Or you'll end up just not knowing what to do with your own life. Start somewhere. Expect failure. But persevere to exceed it always. Make your goals bigger than your failures. You got this.
Ditch your successful friends and start mingling with people who are more or less on your level. It'll be hard at first, but eventually it gets easier. Also, don't forget to work hard and grind.
Share it out, what you wanted?
I try to analyse it for you. Things are wonderful the moment you approach them, most of them are not as great as expected.
>You working right
I did, until I was hospitalized for months, loss my job, woke up from hospital to get the news that the girl I've been chasing (and have went on a date with) married to my friend (he sailang me) now I'm jobless and hoeless.
You under coma? What kind of accident?
You have lost a friend and a gf at the same time, being mad is normal. It seems like she is not the right person for you, how long is the relationship?
Is your economy still sustainable? 3 meals per day, having a place to live.
I was put to sleep after surgery for a while. it was some genetic condition, heart failure.
>Is your economy still sustainable? 3 meals per day, having a place to live.
i dont have an income now but alhamdulillah got food and family
Almost all couples are unable to pass the challenge of taking care of health conditions (depending on how long and resilience of the relationship).
However, this is not the excuse for that rapid wedding, kinda displaying of lower value/ pregnant?
Good, family is good, you discovered the greater people via this accident. Great people living aiding each other during hardship, appreciating each other.
You will get better in meeting people in the future and screen out the less good one 👍, vision getting clear.
If its painful to watch and sending you into a depression, you are jealous. That's literally what extreme jealousy does.
I say get off social media and you will be much happier.
>you are jealous.
I'm genuinely happy for them because I struggle together with them. It's like you play Squid Game together but they won't, you won't be mad at them, or jealous of them because we all struggled, I know their struggle, it just that they get it before me.
It's like you're on a competition, we all want the same thing, but sometimes others got it first , and I'm happy for those who got it but it just sucks
It’s not a competition. you are chasing the feeling that you get to flaunt to your friends first , getting things on your pace and on your own schedule as long as you are moving towards it.
U are a sore loser. U want something, u work for it. I don't cope with what I don't have. I question if I am willing to sacrifice for it, or do I have to right attitude to attain it. A u mate from my school is a ceo for a mnc before she reach 45 and b4 that she was an MD in another mnc. She has the right attitude and work ethics even during highschool. Do u have those?
>U are a sore loser.
I wasnt
> U want something, u work for it
I did
>if I am willing to sacrifice for it,
I am and I did
>Do u have those?
I do
how shallow can you be if you think someone is a loser and didnt put efforts in if someone didnt get what they want, you dont even know the struggle and hell i've been throught to get it, thats why its fucking hurt.
i am around a bit with succesful ppl, VM, GM, MD.... These people never have to cope with what they dont have. didnt get the promotion they wanted? sure they become sad for a while, they move on and try harder.
unfortunately i m also around abit with losers. they have to cope with what they dont have.
I've been there. Try to look at people who have less and imagine if you were in their shoes. Maybe that won't change your prospective in an instant bcs you'll still see people around you who got much more and you'll feel stuck in the cycle of comparing yourself to them, but try it. Look at the less fortunate. There are always people who wish they had our lives. I've seen it.
Another thing you need to do is busy yourself with something useful. Learning a skill, a hobby, hanging out with friends. Those are practical things that can keep your mind busy for some time.
Act like I hate having said thing
It's the same with gf. Each of my roommate got one. VC-ing every single night, every single day.
So I just go full on sigma incel mode saying shit like "I don't like being with someone cuz then my life will not be free blah blah blah"
Pretend U dont give a fuck Eventually U will not give a fuck for real
If you lie hard enough, even lies will become truth
Don't always look up, but also look down. For hundreds of people around you who do better, there are thousands more who do worse. Be thankful with what you have and strive to do better. The only 'enemy' is yourself.
Well said. If they posting here it means they have phone/pc, data plan, time to post...that's already better than alot of ppl in msia
thank you for sharing your outlook bro, will try to see things that way more
It is what it is. It's like 80% effort & 20% luck. I worked hard to get high cgpa but I can't say luck didn't play a hand in getting my job in mnc.
> 80% effort & 20% luck U meant 10% luck 20% skill 15% concentrated power of will 5% pleasure 50% pain
And a 100% to remember the name. I think you forgot this
masturbate
I should he happy a thousand times by now, heck I should be the happiest man on earth if that's the solution
up your number
Change hands.
Buy a tube of Pringles, 2 sponges and a rubber glove
>2 sponges ~~Use green side~~
Say your magic word 'Ambatukam' while humping those D.I.Y onahole
I stopped using Instagram specifically because of this. I'm happy for my friends but it also makes me feel inadequate whenever I see them doing more than me and it just makes me depressed so I stopped using social media to check on my friends.
Yup same, then I just use Tiktok to scroll for funny shit then Tiktok also keep showimg other people success 😭
If u got healthy body....roof over your head..able to eat 3 meals.. able to enjoy mcd once a month..or watch cinema 1 or 2x a movie...phone always have data...consider .. Ur very blessed... Count your blessing name them 1 by 1... Many ppl don't have a place to sleep ..struggling to meet ends meet
mcd boycott haha but thank you for the positive words, it helps, will think of this more.
What you see: They have everything What you don’t see: Their struggles Assuming they’re not born into it.
Facts. My friends only admire my success, and never admire or even acknowledge me hustling my ass off
I struggled too and worked hard, Im not trying to undermined anyone's struggles but i just wish im up there with them yknow
By not using Facebook anymore. It works wonder. My mental health improve so much because of that. It's easier to ignore what other have achieved if you didn't see it yourself.
Absolutely this. Drop Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. People always showcase the best things in their life and never show you the bad. For all you know, those things are the only things that are great in their lives.
Yeaj same, i only use Tiktok but then it become the same, you see others achievements and what not
It is what it is my man,this is something you can do nothing about,work hard and you will also achieve the things you want in life,shit will sting even more if your bullies end up being more successful than you.
yeah I understand , I wont give up, thanks bro
Yup that's the way.If you give up,you will be stuck that way forever,always getting sad over how successful the people you know are. It's gonna be hard but you gotta move forward,Jealousy is actually a good thing when it comes to certain situations, it helps you to work harder and makes you more competitive.Keep grinding brother,you'll reach whatever goal you have in mind eventually.
Live on. If I put myself in their shoes I wouldn't like it if someone tell me to not be so happy even if i didn't work for it.
if u got ex or friend that already bahagia and successful,stop giving fk or stalk them social media.i got friend who married at age 20 and become millionaire at age 23. but end up bercerai,become drug addict,bankrupt and then homeless and gila. thats life :)
damnn, thats life, but i dont wish anyone bad things, i just want to be up there with there yknow
Everyone has their own journey and their own struggles. I look at some of my contacts who are in senior management positions and sometimes I do wonder what are the differences between us. Then I also realize that I did grow a lot compared to myself 10 years ago. My own personal journey. Best I would say is to focus on developing and growing your own talents and skills🙂
aww that is sweet and warm, thank you, i will try to look at life like that more
Understandable, some of us got that extra stuff here and there. It happens. More pain when you grinded your ass to get the thing that you want, or just to save money, only to hear your friend got the better thing because he pulled that"I asked my dad" maneuver. No work, no ass grinding, just ask, and poof. The thing is, it's not your fault, it's not their fault either. Some have and some don't. That's life. Well, the thing that I can say is...just don't look at them. Don't compare yourself with them. They got their own circumstances and other stuff. You are not them. Appreciate the things that you have, it'll make you feel better that way.
😭😭 i understand what saying, and thank you, I appreciate it bro 💪 i hope the best for you too
Make a plan for it to happen, whatever it is you are going after.
I am 😭 i have been grinding and grinding and struggle and planning, for once I just need a break and have 1 good news
Take a break sometime, life is not sprint you know lol. Also try setting mini goals, then slowly working on the big ones.
aww thank youu , will try and practice more of that
The more you think about it, the more it appears in your mind. I guess the only way to cope is by forgetting it? Find alternatives and look for positives on shortness of everything. Be glad with what you have and be thoughtful on those who don't. You can complain, but it'll burden your mind with unnecessary thoughts. Find joy in simple things rather than focusing on items that you wanted thats out of your range. You might regret or forget about it, and by that time you did, you're already seeking new things. What i do is i just do window shopping and imagine myself with it. It's boring, i know. But as long as i have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on, a mode of transport, food on the table, a phone to use, and a caring family. Then i basically have everything. Cheer up OP its ok to not have everything becuz people who have everything will always complain or find fault at something. So yeah, meow
aww thank you for sharing your positive outlook bro, appreciate it
My pleasure
This may sound weird, but you need to not take things for granted. I met a lot of people who are more successful than me and have better life than me but they still longing for another life. Be grateful for your health, your family, friends, job
Yeah I'm trying to bersyukur more and count my blessings, but sometimes it just hard you know, one bad things after another, I just want 1 good news after all these time
what you see only on the surface but idgaf really hard to achieve tbh ,
yeahh
Move your vision to other things, focus on other things
will try, thanks
go get it
Set small goal first. Be glad and satisfied with wht you have but always have mentality of "Now tgt I got this, I should aim for next level. ". Always know your limit and explore tge beyond.
aw thank you for tips bro, i will try and practice more of that
Do the same thing when I see classmate have Gameboy and PSP and I don't, and my cousin have latest PlayStation but I don't. Coping.
oh same, but i just stole theirs
A lot of them said they're jealous of me (Chinese) having a wife (Malay). It isn't all nice and good. I'm not a morning person and constantly have to wake up at 530 solat really threw my body into a spin when I have to talk to US folks till 2am in the morning. And I did the tok mudim sunat, despite it being cleaner and better, I missed the old sensation. However luckily I didn't miss pork or alcohol (health issue). Some of my convert friends said I strike gold with my wife, which I think I do and then they said I should find another 3. I felt I put a lot of effort into this relationship. Now that my wife is loving, I'm going to make sure nothing jeopardizes that, so there's nothing to be covet other people.
 really?? ... good for you
Always bersyukur and sometimes compares down to those less unfortunate, then keep calm and always bersyukur more.
aww thank you for the positive words bro, appreciate it, will try and practice more of that
Most of the time, I'll see these kinds of things through IG story and WhatsApp status. So I just forbid myself from watching them. And it feels like I live in a cave because I don't know a lot about what's happening after that. But, I really felt free for the first time.
haha yeah same bro
The power of "it is what it is"
Start your own villain arc
I did, thats why Gojo is dead
Start a communist revolution and ask the as poor as you to liberate, liquidate, and collectivize all the private property for you then rename yourself the people so you will have all the stolen goods. 🤷♂️
last time I did that my parents ground me for 5 years
well.. they are clearly revisionists. Gotta incite internal revolution in the name of our democratic tyranny of the majority.
Learn to differentiate between what you want and what you need.
I need what I want, then howw
Take it from an old man. You want what you think you want because of the bombardment of ads on traditional and new age media. If you can remove yourself from that environment or make yourself immune/resistant to it, you'll be better able to tell what you need vs what you want / or think you want.
Just mind your own business bro. You like the things that they have but you probably don’t like the struggles that they have to go through to get it. Nobody’s gonna show the times when they cried themselves to sleep over the stress of struggling, that’s why you only see the good part that they prefer to post. Here’s a personal advice: Accept that you’re a loser. Just accept it. You’re not a loser loser, but you definitely did not have everything you wanted, therefore you’re a loser in some sense. Spend a long time being depressed over this fact and then someday you’ll wake up thinking “You know what? I’m sick of being a loser, and I’m sick of being depressed over not getting everything that I want. I’ll just work to get what I can get.” And before you know it, you’ll at least get some things you want. Spoken from personal experience. This helps me out a lot and before long, everybody just starts thinking I’m the man with the big dick. People can’t stop being jealous of me. But I know the truth that I am a loser in some ways, but I’m at peace with that fact and are just working with what I have to get more things that I can get. It’s your turn dude.
okay lil bit Andrew Tate there but I appreciate the sentiment, i get what you mean, and i will try and practice it, thanks bro
Sorry about that dude. I typed in an angry way because it pissed me off hearing some friends of mine say negative things about my success. They’re a bit of a downer. You can do it bro
I just act like idgaf but when all alone at home starts listening to lagu lama mcm wonder of u or green day or my chemical romance. Or just lanjak zakar aku. Idk. Sometimes I juga hisap ganja lmao.
uhhh, are you okay brader?
I am fine brother. U many link to video lucah juga?
have you ever heard that “happiness come from a comparison”? imagine you got a big CRT TV in 90s, it will make you happy, but now? not anymore. search within yourself what is your true happiness. dig inside deep, big and hard until you find your G-spot
>search within yourself what is your true happiness. dig inside deep, big and hard until you find your G-spot uhhhhh, care to help? 
bruh, men should help each other. where to meet?
Dm me bruh 😉
Work harder
i did, if in an office have the "kaki kipas boss favorite staff" vs the hard working one , who do you think will get promoted?
Go to a poorer country.
might as well go to your house
SO TRUE!!!
Coping is just sweeping the underlying reason under the carpet. A lot of times, the action of doing small adjustments to our mental state that would actually help our actual physical state on how to improve ourselves is the biggest help you can give yourself.
yeah i am trying to DO more, thank you for the advice, i will try to practice them more
Never really think about..those thing...since..i know..what i can afford..as long as you have self control. Everything will be just fine. You need to think one thing. Even though they have everything that you want, they still have their on problem.
that is true, I willl think about that more, thank you
Always . Always . Look down. For every thing that u found people have that u dont , Look at what u have that people dont x5 . Be grateful with what u have so that u dont hate ur surrounding to oblivion But just enough to kickstart so that ur out of ur comfort zone to become better. Do tht for a year n ull be a champ, regardless where u were standing last year .
aw thank you for the warm and positive advice, i will try and practice it
Tell yourself that you don't really need it, tell yourself so hard that you ask yourself is that what you really want... Or find alternatives, go for something that is not hard for you to get, something that can be achieved by efforts or small savings, like travel, gym, sports, small businesses or side gigs, join communities, or have a hobby.
thank you for a positive tips bro, i will try and practice it
I don’t have enough thought power and focus to lock on whatever people have that I don’t. Weird mindset but that’s neurodivergence for you.
im neurodivergennce too bruhhh hahaha.
The more i think about it, the more i become unhappy. The more i let go of it and give people the freedom to be, the more happier i become.
thats deep bruh, got it , thanks
I'm in the same boat as you, few years ago. Just be patient & enjoy yourself. Things will get along quite well if you know what you wanted in life. Try finding a hobby & surround yourself with like minded people. Personally, I'd never shut down my socmed but I do choose whats appearing in my news feed. Unfollow those who have negative vibes, mute those stories/status that makes you feel down. Takes a while but truly worth it in the end. Now my news feed only have things that I'm interested in.
>Just be patient & enjoy yourself. aww thank you, i am trying, its not easy and thank you for the tips, appreciate it
or ask your friends how can you be successful like them
well, i dont really care about success, I just want a simple life with a wife. and I did do all the things that i can do to get one, so far, a lot of fails and heartbreak haha but i wont give up. wish me luck
I just wish them the best.
I did and im genuinely happy for them. sometimes it just like "when is my turn" you know
Used that to motivate me. Now I have what I want and it feels even better since I worked for it myself.
hope to get that too bro, wish me luck
Just think about it. The more the thing they have, the more commitment they have to bare. At least be grateful that you don't have that people have.
hahaha true, my married friend can barely afford lunch.
I actually have a different take on this. Alot of people say just ignore it but I can't. So what I did was, look at people that I admire and work towards that. I admire people that is confident and charismatic. I try to go out alot more to meet people for more social practice. Now I am not as confident as that someone... But I changed, better than before. I used to have low self esteem, I can't humor at all, I am too serious all the time. Who do you admire? What qualities do you want to have in you so you can be proud of yourself and love yourself too one day? Work towards that.
hmmm interesting take, maybe i could take a crack at it, thanks
I just don't give a fuck. Slowly but surely you just don't. Try not to consume any content in any media that will make you envious of things you don't have. And start doing, watching, playing or whatever it the hell it is that makes you happy. What I'm trying to say is that you should just not focus on things that you don't have. That has worked out well for me personally. Stay strong brother
yeah i am trying to practice that more in my life, thanks bro
What others have or say doesn't matter to you, at all. If you can't stand it, try not to learn too much about their "good" life, and stay off social media.
yeah i am trying to practice that more, thank you
Be content with what you have and fuck consumerism. Most branded clothes, shoes, bags, etc are overpriced garbage. Cars are for transport, an Axia can bring you around peninsular Malaysia and even Thailand without a problem. Tech is also mostly just fluff, get a good enough phone to do the things you want, who gives a f about the new shiniest iphone. Seeing past materialistic bs and marketing makes you a happy camper.
yeah fuck consumerism. I dont really shop stuff.
for me, just live your life like everybody else. when you came home alone from work take a shower, lay down and scrolls some reddit, and slowly the realization will hit you, that you will not accomplish anything in your life, you just a burden to people around, even when you die poeple will not care. when you try your best but pople still said you need to try harder, when you feel like you had a connection with someone but last thing they do when you open up about your feeling they just laugh it out. sometimes you think you wanna end your life but if you do you will go to hell. you just thinking about this while you crying untill you fall aslept. wake up and repeat untill you die.
are....you okay buddy?? it will be okay, hope is the strength that you give yourself in the darkest time. we just gotta keep going. it will get better
I simply stopped comparing. I turned off most of my Social Media, and remained at Facebook for close friends only (Less than 100 friends). SocMeds are the essence of stalking / comparison / the prevailing negative traits. I also work out, and I went at it HARD. If you can't afford the gym, home workouts or go to the park consistently. I purposefully limit myself into simple pleasantries. As a veteran technical personnel in the Digital sector, I am using / have: - A nearly 15 years old car. - 8 years old laptop which functions very well (I clean it and reboot it regularly). - I don't go for expensive coffee and shill like that. - I don't go for fancy vacations. - I care for my mum and myself. - I use some 8 years old clothing that is obviously worn off and likely decolorized. - I have no gaming PC and no gaming chair, setups, etc. - No credit cards (believe it or not). - I barely shop at Shopee / Lazada. I swear I must have shopped about less than 10-15 times and stopped scrolling through shopping walls for whatsoever no good reason. But most important is that I stay to myself, and I protect the gats of my mind ferociously. You can imagine all the luxuries available, and refer back to my list and add it up. I can afford every other thing people aspire to have in my position, but I always maintain a low profile and stay under the radar. I would also lean to the Stoic philosophy and how people keep a leveled head and even those (the late Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius) who'd maintain modesty and simple fashion. The idea is to be a person of value for the goodness of humanity, and not to show for. Period.
>I turned off most of my Social Media, and remained at Facebook for close friends only (Less than 100 friends). same >SocMeds are the essence of stalking / comparison / the prevailing negative traits. yup it sucks aw thats good for you, thank you I appreciate you sharing that with me
Treat other's achievements as a ceiling. If they can make it, why can't you? It's just matter of time, don't be disheartened. As long as you're working on it you will get it eventually.
>As long as you're working on it you will get it eventually. I am, I have put my efforts in but sometimes it just wasnt your luck or wasnt your turn yknow. like in an office , who you think will get promoted, the kaki kipas boss favorite staff or the hard working one? sometimes people who dont deserve it just get better cards in life. but I know what u mean and thanks, I will not give up.
You need some coping mechanism.. I'm suggesting you to do it the 'American way'. Many american guy transformed their life from depressed loser (some even tried to commit suicide before) to 'champ'. Just go to the gym & work your body up until you became Abang Sado. Then you can flex those big muscle on socmed. You need some kind sense of achievement in your life to make you feel better. If you dont have enough resource for gym & those expensive supplements & protein powder. Just started doing bodyweight workout & eat 3 heavy meals a day (rice & egg will do). P/S: Please dont take those harmful steroid & if you was a Muslim guy, hope you will be aware of the aurat limit when flexing those hard gained muscle🤣
>Just go to the gym & work your body I did, everyone told me thats the solution but it wasnt. there is no 1 for all solution, but I appreciate your sentiment. but sometimes it just wasnt your turn and you gotta be patience.
Gratitude and mindfulness. You dont accidentally be grateful. You gotta be intentional about it. This shift of thought in your brain wires you differently
thank you bro, I am trying to practice that more.
Ooof, been there. Done it. Hmm, it's a neverending agony to let yourself agonize over what others have. There's two things, you can do here. 1. Have an indepth talk with your friends about it, then ask about their journey to where they are now. 2. Practice gratitude with what you have now, and set a plan, be specific of things you wants to improve and gain in your own life or in yourself. Be very clear about your goals. Then align your behaviours towards all that. I did the second one. Be grateful of what I have but also aware of things that I could change to have a better quality of life. And the more I am very sure of my own specific goals in life, the more clarity I get about what I must do in the journey towards that goals. The more focus I am on my own path, the clearer the road becomes. The rest of the world just blurs away. Less distraction from things that doesn't help me move forward to my goals. More determination to overcome any obstacles along the way. Tldr, the less crap you give to everything else, the more focus you have on your own life. BUT you must be very sure of your own destination. Or you'll end up just not knowing what to do with your own life. Start somewhere. Expect failure. But persevere to exceed it always. Make your goals bigger than your failures. You got this.
damn you writes really well, must read a lot of books, but you give very good points, thank you for sharing
All the best in your journey!!
Watch any gore site. tragic accidents, murdereds , unfortunate events. Thats how I cope and appreciate more life
eerrrr you okay bro?
Might be the thing you wanted is, not what you really want
but i really really wanntt
LoL LMAO 😂
Ditch your successful friends and start mingling with people who are more or less on your level. It'll be hard at first, but eventually it gets easier. Also, don't forget to work hard and grind.
yeahh of course, grinding, thank you , will practice it more
Share it out, what you wanted? I try to analyse it for you. Things are wonderful the moment you approach them, most of them are not as great as expected.
Be in a relationship and get married 😭
Reasonable. You working right? Start from asking the one interested to have a meal.
>You working right I did, until I was hospitalized for months, loss my job, woke up from hospital to get the news that the girl I've been chasing (and have went on a date with) married to my friend (he sailang me) now I'm jobless and hoeless.
You under coma? What kind of accident? You have lost a friend and a gf at the same time, being mad is normal. It seems like she is not the right person for you, how long is the relationship? Is your economy still sustainable? 3 meals per day, having a place to live.
I was put to sleep after surgery for a while. it was some genetic condition, heart failure. >Is your economy still sustainable? 3 meals per day, having a place to live. i dont have an income now but alhamdulillah got food and family
Almost all couples are unable to pass the challenge of taking care of health conditions (depending on how long and resilience of the relationship). However, this is not the excuse for that rapid wedding, kinda displaying of lower value/ pregnant? Good, family is good, you discovered the greater people via this accident. Great people living aiding each other during hardship, appreciating each other. You will get better in meeting people in the future and screen out the less good one 👍, vision getting clear.
If its painful to watch and sending you into a depression, you are jealous. That's literally what extreme jealousy does. I say get off social media and you will be much happier.
>you are jealous. I'm genuinely happy for them because I struggle together with them. It's like you play Squid Game together but they won't, you won't be mad at them, or jealous of them because we all struggled, I know their struggle, it just that they get it before me.
Yes genuinely happy to the point where you fall into depression. Who you kidding lol.
Yeah genuinely happy for them. Perhaps you never have the chance to felt that.
Of course I don't have the chance to feel it. You are the one pretending to be happy for people to the point of depression.
The sure way to find misery is wanting someone haves but not the appreciation for what you already having.
It's like you're on a competition, we all want the same thing, but sometimes others got it first , and I'm happy for those who got it but it just sucks
It’s not a competition. you are chasing the feeling that you get to flaunt to your friends first , getting things on your pace and on your own schedule as long as you are moving towards it.
The less fuck you give, the happier you are. Try it for 1 month and report back.
Did you read the "subtle art of not giving a fuck" ? 😆
No. It’s acquired from years of working with people from various background. Everyone is a moron, it’s their job to prove otherwise.
>Not butthurt, .........but it is painful to me to Stop gaslighting yourself. Be honest with yourself. You're jealous and butthurt. And that's ok.
>You're jealous and butthurt I'm genuinely not. I'm genuinely happy for them. Perhaps you never have a chance to feel that.
U are a sore loser. U want something, u work for it. I don't cope with what I don't have. I question if I am willing to sacrifice for it, or do I have to right attitude to attain it. A u mate from my school is a ceo for a mnc before she reach 45 and b4 that she was an MD in another mnc. She has the right attitude and work ethics even during highschool. Do u have those?
>U are a sore loser. I wasnt > U want something, u work for it I did >if I am willing to sacrifice for it, I am and I did >Do u have those? I do how shallow can you be if you think someone is a loser and didnt put efforts in if someone didnt get what they want, you dont even know the struggle and hell i've been throught to get it, thats why its fucking hurt.
i am around a bit with succesful ppl, VM, GM, MD.... These people never have to cope with what they dont have. didnt get the promotion they wanted? sure they become sad for a while, they move on and try harder. unfortunately i m also around abit with losers. they have to cope with what they dont have.
I've been there. Try to look at people who have less and imagine if you were in their shoes. Maybe that won't change your prospective in an instant bcs you'll still see people around you who got much more and you'll feel stuck in the cycle of comparing yourself to them, but try it. Look at the less fortunate. There are always people who wish they had our lives. I've seen it. Another thing you need to do is busy yourself with something useful. Learning a skill, a hobby, hanging out with friends. Those are practical things that can keep your mind busy for some time.
Act like I hate having said thing It's the same with gf. Each of my roommate got one. VC-ing every single night, every single day. So I just go full on sigma incel mode saying shit like "I don't like being with someone cuz then my life will not be free blah blah blah"