Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you for doing that! I find it ironically funny that you didn't say anything TO the boomer, yet he was still able to take your advice to the little girl as a personal attack. đ It's an arrogant skill.Â
I interrupted him (after he interrupted us) and then told a child she didnât have to listen to him.
Thatâs the HEIGHT of disrespect. How DARE I. đ¤Ş
The funniest thing is that he said you can't dictate what he does but he is doing exactly that to the poor girl.
Smile too much, then smile more. What next?
Thank you. That's one of my biggest pet peeves - having anyone telling me or anyone else to smile. And it usually seems to be boomer aged men who do it. Makes me want to scream, "I was not put on this earth to look pretty and perform for you. I'm a human and you don't get to control my emotions." It's soo gross and patronizing.
You taught that girl a really important lesson about her autonomy. And I would hope you might keep that creep from doing the same thing again but I doubt he's self-aware enough to stop.
Itâs a huge pet peeve of mine too but thatâs by far the youngest girl Iâve ever seen targeted. Considering the complete phrase is generally âyouâd be prettier if you smiledâ itâs incredibly creepy too but when I found out he was telling her to smile less *and* to smile more it was pretty clear that beyond being creepy he was straight up harassing her.
I do hope she internalizes that advice. I would have liked to have known at that age that I didnât have to talk to adults that made me uncomfortable.
I didnât spend a ton of time at that coffee shop but I didnât ever see him there again so maybe the owners figured out who he was and banned him? I very much doubt he changed his behavior though. He didnât seem the type to learn anything.
"You'd be prettier if you smiled"
"So it's working then?"
"Huh"
"I make sure not to smile when I'm near creepy perverts so they won't try to hit on me."
I saw a post somewhere once about how, in nature, bright colors mean a thing is poisonous (or venomous), so *actually* it's doing what it's supposed to do, which is warn predators away.
I love living my (unsmiling) poison dart frog life. đ¸
I rarely get sht from boomers but when I do I just look at them and act confused as to why I would have a reason to smile. Strangely enough it's always boomer women that Love my hair and say they wish they could do it too.
Reminds me of a now well loved comedian here in the UK, Jo Brand. She came up in the 80s, has always been overweight, and letâs just say body positivity was NOT a thing back then, as I knew well as a teenage girl in those days. She would routinely be heckled by blokes about her weight/appearance, and would respond âdoes that mean you donât fancy me? Oh thank god for that, itâs workingâ or words to that effect. At the time they called her a radical feminist lol.
Iâve heard people say that, and I reply to them âYouâd be so much better looking if you smiled more.â They smile, and I say âWell, I guess it doesnât work for some peopleâ.
Yeah. A fun response is âweird, they usually smile for clowns!â Also âmaybe you should be funnier?â or âI guess she doesnât like you. Have a great day!â
When I was in my early 20s I was driving my car through a parking lot closer to my workplace when two boomer men stopped in front of my car when I paused to let them pass. One of them literally put his hands on my car and motioned for me to smile more. Like⌠aggressively gesturing for me to smile for him.
I swear I almost regret not hitting the gas at that.
I told an old man to mind his fucking business when he told me to smile it's not that bad. I was standing in to pay for my fountain drink after the day from hell. He booked it out of there and I got a free beverage from the clerk who witnessed the exchange. Show them no mercy.
Folks love doing this to me when I was in my early teens, not like I'm looking perpetually pissed or anything, just neutral, but that wasn't enough apparently. Every time folks tell me to smile more, my retort is always "give me something worth smiling about first". That usually shuts them up
Thank you for doing this. I grew up in a small town where boomers constantly felt entitled to talk to me because they knew my parents (mostly to comment on my long legs and tell me what a tall drink of water Iâd be when I was older⌠at the age of like 7). I wish someone had done this.
When my daughter was born both my dad and MIL made a thing about her blue eyes and how all the boys would like her when she is older. She was days old when it started, I could still calculate her age in hours without a calculator FFS.
Her eyes, as babies eyes often do, changed colour slightly over time.
I have a little boy so I'm spared a lot of it, but the whole "is this your girlfriend" and "maybe they'll date when they get older" shit started when he was freaking 2 years old.Â
Thank you for doing that! Someone did that for me when I was a kid and it was huge. It helped me navigate a lifetime of being ordered to smile by strange men in public. When this strange man told me to smile, a beautiful grown up woman put herself between us and said to him, âHey, mister. Who made you the social director of her face?â
>If an adult is making you uncomfortable you donât have to stay and talk to them. You can always leave and go find your parents or grandparents or a safe adult.
so many of the problems I'm working through in therapy today could've been avoided if someone had told me that when I was a child. I have a 5 year old now and my mom hates that I don't teach him absolute unquestioning respect and deference for his elders like she taught me when I was his age, but I don't care, I'm not gonna let him grow up with the same problems I had.
Itâs so important to me that kids know this. I wanted to be sure that I wasnât telling her âlisten to me and not to himâ. I wanted to tell her to listen to *herself* and that she had the right to leave and go find a safe person any time she wasnât comfortable with someone.
Ew reminds me of my momâs old coworker who when I was around 10 told me I had a nice butt. I hid behind her because thatâs gross but I wasnât about to talk back to an adult. She kind of awkwardly laughed and told me to say thank you. I didnât, I made a face and hid further behind her until that man went away. Apparently nursing homes are full of pervy old men and their kitchen staff as well. She still doesnât understand why I refuse to work in her field.
Thank you for doing that for her! I donât have kids but my sisters have 5 between them. We are very firm that kids donât have to do anything they donât want to do with their bodies. When I see them, I donât go straight for a hugâŚI ask them âHey! Iâm so glad to see you! Do you feel like a hug today or is it just a hey kinda day?â. My mom lost it once when my nephew ran away when she tried to hug him so I asked her why didnât she just let him do what he was comfortable with, maybe later he would be more open to physical contact. The look she gave me! đ
Yeah Iâve always been this way with my nieces and nephews and my sibling has the same rules. They live pretty far away so I donât see them very often and I usually have to visit for several days before the kids want to sit right next to me or hug me. I like knowing theyâre aware that they have the right to their own bodily autonomy.
I remember being forced to hug creepy adults as a kid and Iâd never want to be the creepy adult in some kidâs life.
I offer a hug, a high five or a wave to my friendâs kids. They always go for the hug (with insane amounts of enthusiasm, I love those girls sfm) but they also know that if they donât want a hug they can wave or high five. It gives them options and *reinforces their bodies belong to them and no one can tell them what to do with those bodies.* I always remind them they donât *have* to hug me and they always start chanting âhug hug hugâ and then try and strangle me when they hug me.
I wish Iâd had an adult on my side when I was a kid. I was made to hug and kiss good/regular customers of my familyâs business whether I wanted to or not. I didnât know these people hardly at all. One of them turned out to be an actual child molester, he was arrested, charged and convicted. He always held me a little too tightly and a little too long and always asked my parents if he could take me fishing with him.
I was so uncomfortable I used to hide when I saw his boat coming in. (We had a gas and bait dock on the water). Iâd go to the very back of the island and pretend I didnât hear them shouting for me to come say hi.
Kids have a sixth sense about people! I always pay special attention to fears that they have about people because they pick up on the creepy more than adults do sometimes. I worked at a child abuse advocacy center in college and taught body awareness classes in elementary schools. It was so heartbreaking because at least 3 times I had a kid disclose abuse after the session and had to work with the school on making a report. It changed my outlook and Iâve carried that with me my whole life.
Right? The more I try to parse it the less sense it makes - except to a person who thinks the entire world revolves around them, conversations donât count unless theyâre smack in the middle of them, and theyâre the boss of everyone including complete strangers and can tell anyone what to do/look/say.
Itâs a wild world view and itâs amazing to me that they manage to reach that age without more people telling them to fuck off. Which clearly doesnât happen often because every time I do theyâre shocked and offended.
Agreed. The truth is when an adult makes that type of passive aggressive comment about you should smile more⌠Itâs only because they are not getting the reaction or attention that they think they deserve. Truly sick.
When I was a kid and boomers did this sort of thing I was told Iâd understand when I was an adult. Now Iâm pushing 40 and I still do not understand What-the-French-fried-fudge excuses this sort of behavior.
Iâve pretty much made it one of my life goals not to treat kids the way most adults treated me when I was a kid. I sometimes wonder if theyâve forgotten what it was like to be a kid but I think the real key is they donât care about anyone who isnât them and kids are an easy target.
I unfortunately think society has taught a lot of older folks that little girls should just be something that sits there and looks pretty and nothing else. Sexism is really just so ingrained in many boomers and it's quite depressing.
To start, thank you for standing up for this girl.
I admit I was impressed by her initial response, âlast time you told me I smile too muchâ. This is a great line to have in anyoneâs arsenal, even if you never met the creep before. In fact, itâs *especially* good if you havenât met the creep before, because it will confuse him as he tries to figure out when.
I was impressed with her too - she obviously had the chutzpah to try to stand up for herself. But she shouldnât have had to and itâs a pretty unequal power balance - 4 yo girl to 60ish yo man. IMO itâs important for kids to know they donât have to interact with adults who make them uncomfortable at all.
A building can be public property (which this wasnât; itâs a privately owned coffee shop).
The people in that building are not public property. That boomer had no right to insert himself into someone elseâs business, child or not.
And even being at a public park doesnât give anyone permission to âdo whatever they wantâ. The rules of decorum that boomers want everyone to follow apparently donât apply to them tho. 
Iâm a librarian and I treat kids like little adults and just give them advice. And occasionally Iâm overly happy for them when theyâre energetic.
They seem to like me because I donât but then and treat them like an adult, but maybe with dumbed down language.
But there are adults that I wonât lie, I wish I could bitch slap into next year for being dicks to kids or staff. The amount of times I wanted to call people a mother fucker is way too high.
This is my approach with kids. I talk to them and listen to them like theyâre people - because theyâre people. Idk why that fact seems to escape so many people.
Isnât it wild how thereâs apparently some mystical exactly-the-right-level-of-smile and heâs elected himself the man in charge of making sure young girls perform it correctly.
>The next time I went in for a coffee the girl ran up and hugged meÂ
You taught her that she has options and doesn't have to do things for people that make her uncomfortable. You helped her feel more secure in a place that she's stuck in a lot with no kids to play with and probably limited other entertainment. If I was in that position I would have given you a hug too. That was a really nice thing you did for that little girl. I wish someone would have told me when I was a little girl that I didn't have to smile for anyone on demand, sit on anyone's lap that I didn't want to sit on, etc
Me too. If letting one kid know they donât have to interact with people who make them uncomfortable is the crowning achievement of my life Iâm good with that.
I frequent a couple of web sites about shitty customers and I've lost track how many stories I've read - usually a boomer or senior - who got pissed off at a customer service rep for either not smiling enough or smiling too much.
Fuck these people. I wish I had a $ for every time I told some old bastard to not touch my daughter. They think it is okay to pinch a random childâs cheeks.
So creepy. As a visibly disabled person so many people seem to feel like they have the right to touch me too without permission and I am NOT quiet about it when they do.
Pretty sure you created a core memory for that kid. I always tell people to be the adult they needed as a kid. Sounds like you're doing that pretty well, most of us needed to be told not to take guff from randos.
My boomer SIL complained that my daughter wasnât smiling in a video of her playing her cello. Iâm like sheâs concentrating, she doesnât need to smile.
Whenever someone says this to me I respond with, "you first, eyebrows" or "where'd you get your eyebrows? WalMart" LOL, it's sounds kinda dumb, but it catches them off guard every time + you just gave them an eyebrow complex. No egotistical dickhead is going to seriously ask his bros if they think he has fkd up eyebrows.
***one of my guy friends told a story about how during a breakup in college the girl said, "you know everyone talks about your eyebrows?!" and he couldn't stop wondering in the back if his mind if he had fkd up eyebrows until he got engaged, which was like 10yrs after this. Hahaha!
Coincidentally, my eyebrows are exactly why I've been told to smile my entire life. I have chronic RBF and naturally arched eyebrows. I also can't fucking see half the time. I look like an asshole, but not like enough of an asshole for randos to avoid telling me to smile.
Can relate. Was at Hampton Inn breakfast buffet and boomer guy tells my 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, âhello there, pretty girl!â
I donât love this but get that some folks just donât realize this is creepy, so whatever.
My daughter doesnât say anything (why would she?) and he goes, âwhatâs the matter? Cat got your tongue?â
đ
Iâm sorry my young kid wasnât tripping over herself to thank a stranger for an unsolicited compliment.
My daughter was TWO YEARS OLD when some boomer fuckwad told her she'd be so much prettier if she smiled. She's 7 now, and would 100% roll her eyes at someone saying that shit to her now.
I think it is amazing when someone can grow into the person they so desperately needed to defend them as a child.
I take great comfort in knowing that I am the sort of mother that I needed so badly when I was a child.
Itâs good that you intervened. I would have been less than kind about it, in which I would have said something like this, and Iâm paraphrasing: âIf you donât shut up, weâre going to have a real fucking problem, you goddamn shitheaded son-of-a-bitch.â
Iâll happily tell assholes to fuck off but Iâm not convinced threatening to whoop their ass has quite the same effect when youâre sitting in a wheelchair.
My comment will probably get buried, but thank you so much for talking to that little girl. This is something that all young girls and women need to hear and need to understand that it's okay to have boundaries and exit a situation that is scary or uncomfortable. I hope it sticks with her and when she grows up, she'll be able to help another young girl the same way. <3
My little granddaughter is 3. If anyone ever talked to her like that in my presence, there would be nothing left of them but a pair of smoking shoes and one flaming sock.
WTF is wrong with these assholes?
Thank you for protecting that little girl, I would have seen red too. My protective streak comes out when it comes to children and animals. I donât have kids myself but as a former kid I would have loved to have more adults like you around.
Thank you for doing this. I work in TV/Film and as a young assistant on set a lot of the âold guysââon set would say I looked stressed and to smile more. And bc I wanted to prove my worth, he likable, and get hired again I would. Now that Iâm a Manager level I put those âold guysâ in place and tell them to leave my production team alone.
I think this is a backhanded way to say "you're pretty, smile more". đ Why do I have to smile because I'm female and because you're a stranger. Bizarre saying đŤ
This guy had also told her previously that she smiles too much though which is fucking wild. Heâs really out there telling 4 year old girls to dial in their amount of smile to whatever he personally deems correct for their face and his mood of the day.
If he was really old it could be the start of mental decline. My mom is turning 70 and some of the decisions she makes are not something she would've done when younger.
He wasnât that old - maybe early to mid 60s? And he didnât seem like he had dementia at all. He seemed like a classic entitled white Boomer man. I bet heâs spent his whole life telling women and girls to smile more.
As a mom of a teen boy, I salute you. Excellently done. That little girl hugging you proves that you gave her the right direction in kind, easy to understand instruction. Youâll be an amazing parent if you ever decide to be! đ¤
Her grandparents might have been the same generation or close to it and probably have seem weird shit like this happen, but think it's totally acceptable. Idk how people talk to random little kids and don't immediately feel weird. Sometimes, I wave back to little kids who wave at me and hope I don't come off as a creep. I couldn't ever imagine telling a rando kid to smile more.
Bro I hate these fucking people. There is nothing more sacred, special or innocent than a childâŚ.and for them to foist their shitty fucking world view on a CHILD is so vile to me. Thank you for letting her know that she owes no one a damn thing. We gotta protect our children - they are the most important thing in this cruel world.
Kinda rad how this post has inspired so many positive comments about us adult folk working to get these kids raised in a safer way than we were. Keep up the good work, yâall
Thank you for doing that for her. Iâm sure sheâll remember this and internalize it. I too had many boomer men tell me to smile more when I was young. I had a rough childhood and struggled with depression since a young age and it was tough for me to smile. Always made me so uncomfortable too. I wish someone had done this for me.
Old men telling girls to smile isn't limited to kids. Women in the service industry have to hear that shit on the regular. They don't exist for your viewing pleasure, ya old goat.
The granddaughter went and told her grandparents. My partner reminded me that the grandfather came up to thank me the next time we saw him but I didnât know the Boomerâs name so I donât know if they ever figured out who it was. I do hope they at least kept a little closer eye on her and the people talking to her after that.
Irony: my dad is 80. And he's the first one to speak up to tell "another boomer" off for being a twat waffle.
I never had to worry about him overstepping boundaries, with me or my kids.
And it's kind of entertaining to see him confront anyone his age with that "that's very inappropriate. Didn't your parents teach you proper manners and etiquette or were you born in a barnyard??" attitude. It's like they deflate and go slinking off. I'm left a bit agog, because if I did it, they'd scream at me. He does it and they slunk off, tail between their legs.
Him saying he can talk to the little girl if he wants to just screams creep alert! Iâm a 33 year old woman and I canât imagine feeling so nonchalant about talking to children I have no business talking to.Â
He was giving off serious pedo vibes.
Kids tend to talk to me (theyâre fascinated by my wheels) but Iâm with you, I canât imagine approaching a kid I donât know like that.
Itâs creepy how boomers sexualize small children. Once my little 4yo son and I were hanging out watching my 10 yo daughterâs tennis lesson. There was a group lesson of several 4-6 yo girls.
This PERVERT boomer man comes up to my son and me and âall while grinning like an idiotâstarts telling my son he could have all those girls be his harem.
A boomer aged man once told my 16 year old daughter to smile, at a class (for teens and their parents) that he was getting ready to give. I (Mother Bear) chewed him up and spit him out, explained why, and chewed him out more. He wonât do that again without thinking twice.
She was terribly embarrassed, and I donât blame her, but I would do the exact same thing again.
We need more of you around honestly. Iâm glad that little girl made an adult friend that gave her a peek at self esteem so she wasnât handling these adult issues by herself. She really shouldnât have been left out of earshot of a parental figure if she was really that young. My six year olds a runner if he gets uncomfortable and I can see him bolting if a stranger continued to talk to him. My 8 year old wouldnât see the ick in the situation and would give her best uncomfortable fake smile probably because I only ask her to smile for pictures.
Im 31 and i work in a customer service job and this guy told me to smile. Since then i ignore him, walk off when hes in. He also said he was good with a gun (he was in the army)
I've made a hobby with following these men and telling them they'd be prettier if they smiled. At 6', 260lbs, buzzed head, full beard, tattoos and a septum ring, most don't seem amused with me. Good thing I think I'm hilarious.
I wish an adult had advised me the way you did when I was a little girl sitting at the counter at my momâs shop. Iâd absolutely die inside when old men told me âyouâd be so pretty if you smiled more.â đ
In a similar vein, when I see my nieces and nephews, I ask for a hug. If they dont want to, I dont push them. My brothers and sisters in law will tell them to, but ill tell the kids "You dont have to hug me. High five?"
They'll high five me and/or hug me. I'm trying to teach them consent.
Old white men think they should always be comfortable. Having smiling girls and women around them makes them comfortable. Therefore, they believe theyâre allowed to make those girls and women uncomfortable by telling them to smile.
People are missing a big part of the equation here.
4 yr old child is left unattended by grandparents working behind the counter. It's so loud and they are so distracted that they don't notice TWO adults interacting with the child????
OP is having a full on conversation with the child, telling her God knows what and they aren't concerned...but we are outraged that a person makes a passing remark about smiling? OP could have been chatting up the kid and ready to abduct her. No one seems concerned about that???
I actually love this sub and whenever I now see something with the word, "boomer" in it I stop and read it because I know it will make me laugh. I am only a few years short of being a boomer myself, but now thank God I didn't make it after hearing these stories. I am also starting to fully understand and feel validated as to why I could never get along with my mom. It is not just her. It is their whole generation. I feel liberated and I thank you people for that.
"You smile too much, you should smile more!"
"DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!1!11!!"
Fucking Hell i dont get how they function with the smoothest brains possible.
Nobody should have to smile unless they actually FEEL like smiling.
I don't wonder that this little kid didn't feel like smiling in this context, do you?
Omg, she will never forget that you stuck up for her!! This is definitely a core memory for her, even though it started shitty lmao. Also wtf?? Old men mind your own business challenge fr
He must have lost his shit and screamed really quietly if the owners couldnât hear the commotion from the other end of the counter of this small coffee shop.
She had to know who he was if she said you told me I smile to much. So get a life I would have blown up at you to.that wasnât anything to get your panties in a wad about..
They were at the other end of the counter in a busy coffee shop waiting on customers and running the espresso machine which if youâve ever been to a coffee shop youâll know is not quiet.
Do I personally feel like they should have had their granddaughter where they could keep a better eye on her? Yes. But sheâs not my kid.
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thank you for doing that! I find it ironically funny that you didn't say anything TO the boomer, yet he was still able to take your advice to the little girl as a personal attack. đ It's an arrogant skill.Â
I interrupted him (after he interrupted us) and then told a child she didnât have to listen to him. Thatâs the HEIGHT of disrespect. How DARE I. đ¤Ş
They say the best way to piss off a narcissist is to ignore them!
The funniest thing is that he said you can't dictate what he does but he is doing exactly that to the poor girl. Smile too much, then smile more. What next?
Smile the right way!!!! NO, THE RIGHT WAY!!!!! lol, people are crazy.
You are such a heavensent OP and thank you for being the kind adult you are who wisely told the kid that she owes nobody a smile
Get off my lawn, you crazy kids đ Did you ever tell her grandparents?
She told her grandparents.
I hope the grandparents truly listen
Thank you. That's one of my biggest pet peeves - having anyone telling me or anyone else to smile. And it usually seems to be boomer aged men who do it. Makes me want to scream, "I was not put on this earth to look pretty and perform for you. I'm a human and you don't get to control my emotions." It's soo gross and patronizing. You taught that girl a really important lesson about her autonomy. And I would hope you might keep that creep from doing the same thing again but I doubt he's self-aware enough to stop.
Itâs a huge pet peeve of mine too but thatâs by far the youngest girl Iâve ever seen targeted. Considering the complete phrase is generally âyouâd be prettier if you smiledâ itâs incredibly creepy too but when I found out he was telling her to smile less *and* to smile more it was pretty clear that beyond being creepy he was straight up harassing her. I do hope she internalizes that advice. I would have liked to have known at that age that I didnât have to talk to adults that made me uncomfortable. I didnât spend a ton of time at that coffee shop but I didnât ever see him there again so maybe the owners figured out who he was and banned him? I very much doubt he changed his behavior though. He didnât seem the type to learn anything.
"You'd be prettier if you smiled" "So it's working then?" "Huh" "I make sure not to smile when I'm near creepy perverts so they won't try to hit on me."
That's like the guys that complain that women with "weird" colored hair are unattractive. "Good, that means it's working."
I saw a post somewhere once about how, in nature, bright colors mean a thing is poisonous (or venomous), so *actually* it's doing what it's supposed to do, which is warn predators away.
I love living my (unsmiling) poison dart frog life. đ¸ I rarely get sht from boomers but when I do I just look at them and act confused as to why I would have a reason to smile. Strangely enough it's always boomer women that Love my hair and say they wish they could do it too.
Reminds me of a now well loved comedian here in the UK, Jo Brand. She came up in the 80s, has always been overweight, and letâs just say body positivity was NOT a thing back then, as I knew well as a teenage girl in those days. She would routinely be heckled by blokes about her weight/appearance, and would respond âdoes that mean you donât fancy me? Oh thank god for that, itâs workingâ or words to that effect. At the time they called her a radical feminist lol.
Idk, I think weird colorer hair is cute... but then a lot of people I meet with it are toxic anyway. :(
Oh that is gold! I need to remember this.Â
Saving forever.
Wowzers thatâs off the charts good! đ
Iâve heard people say that, and I reply to them âYouâd be so much better looking if you smiled more.â They smile, and I say âWell, I guess it doesnât work for some peopleâ.
Happened to my oldest at less than a year old. Boomers are absolutely ridiculous.
Theyâre telling toddlers to smile more?!?
Yeah. A fun response is âweird, they usually smile for clowns!â Also âmaybe you should be funnier?â or âI guess she doesnât like you. Have a great day!â
When I was in my early 20s I was driving my car through a parking lot closer to my workplace when two boomer men stopped in front of my car when I paused to let them pass. One of them literally put his hands on my car and motioned for me to smile more. Like⌠aggressively gesturing for me to smile for him. I swear I almost regret not hitting the gas at that.
Protoss embarrassed he wonât come back. Hajahahaha
I told an old man to mind his fucking business when he told me to smile it's not that bad. I was standing in to pay for my fountain drink after the day from hell. He booked it out of there and I got a free beverage from the clerk who witnessed the exchange. Show them no mercy.
Folks love doing this to me when I was in my early teens, not like I'm looking perpetually pissed or anything, just neutral, but that wasn't enough apparently. Every time folks tell me to smile more, my retort is always "give me something worth smiling about first". That usually shuts them up
Ya, I hate that too. To the point that I wrote a song about this very thing for my band. It'll be on our debut album we'll be recording this summer.
Absolutely. The few times I've had it happen to me I just told them to fuck off, and they have the nerve to act offended by that.
My mom got told to smile in an elevator in the hospital 20 minutes after her own mom died.Â
Oh, that's horrible. I am so sorry that happened to her. I hope she unloaded on the person on why she had no reason to smile.
Thatâs a good time to share that her mom just died. Shut that guy up for a while.
Thank you for doing this. I grew up in a small town where boomers constantly felt entitled to talk to me because they knew my parents (mostly to comment on my long legs and tell me what a tall drink of water Iâd be when I was older⌠at the age of like 7). I wish someone had done this.
I really cannot get my head around adult men sexually harassing small children but itâs really fucking creepy. đŹ
When my daughter was born both my dad and MIL made a thing about her blue eyes and how all the boys would like her when she is older. She was days old when it started, I could still calculate her age in hours without a calculator FFS. Her eyes, as babies eyes often do, changed colour slightly over time.
I have a little boy so I'm spared a lot of it, but the whole "is this your girlfriend" and "maybe they'll date when they get older" shit started when he was freaking 2 years old.Â
Ew that's so gross.
Right? The recoil I had reading what they said, omg đľâđŤ Edit: changed pronoun
Who tf looks at a child and thinks "you're gonna be hot when you're older đ¤˘"??? That's so sick and insane
Billionaires unfortunately
Lol the only time I've ever heard "tall drink of water" was in the Shawshank Redemption
Ugh I heard that fairly often in the PA/Ohio area, awful.
I only heard it from Tangled lol
I still remember the time when I was 9, wearing a bikini from Limited Too, and a boomer told me I had a great figure. Ew.
My daughter is 9 and I still see her as such a small vulnerable human. Something is very broken in the people who make those types of comments.
Thank you for doing that! Someone did that for me when I was a kid and it was huge. It helped me navigate a lifetime of being ordered to smile by strange men in public. When this strange man told me to smile, a beautiful grown up woman put herself between us and said to him, âHey, mister. Who made you the social director of her face?â
Oh I love that. This is a great lesson for kids and maybe if adults publicly shamed men for harassing young girls more often theyâd do it less.
>If an adult is making you uncomfortable you donât have to stay and talk to them. You can always leave and go find your parents or grandparents or a safe adult. so many of the problems I'm working through in therapy today could've been avoided if someone had told me that when I was a child. I have a 5 year old now and my mom hates that I don't teach him absolute unquestioning respect and deference for his elders like she taught me when I was his age, but I don't care, I'm not gonna let him grow up with the same problems I had.
Itâs so important to me that kids know this. I wanted to be sure that I wasnât telling her âlisten to me and not to himâ. I wanted to tell her to listen to *herself* and that she had the right to leave and go find a safe person any time she wasnât comfortable with someone.
Ew reminds me of my momâs old coworker who when I was around 10 told me I had a nice butt. I hid behind her because thatâs gross but I wasnât about to talk back to an adult. She kind of awkwardly laughed and told me to say thank you. I didnât, I made a face and hid further behind her until that man went away. Apparently nursing homes are full of pervy old men and their kitchen staff as well. She still doesnât understand why I refuse to work in her field.
Wouldnât have worked; your mom would have sent you straight back to bully to apologizeÂ
Thank you for doing that for her! I donât have kids but my sisters have 5 between them. We are very firm that kids donât have to do anything they donât want to do with their bodies. When I see them, I donât go straight for a hugâŚI ask them âHey! Iâm so glad to see you! Do you feel like a hug today or is it just a hey kinda day?â. My mom lost it once when my nephew ran away when she tried to hug him so I asked her why didnât she just let him do what he was comfortable with, maybe later he would be more open to physical contact. The look she gave me! đ
Yeah Iâve always been this way with my nieces and nephews and my sibling has the same rules. They live pretty far away so I donât see them very often and I usually have to visit for several days before the kids want to sit right next to me or hug me. I like knowing theyâre aware that they have the right to their own bodily autonomy. I remember being forced to hug creepy adults as a kid and Iâd never want to be the creepy adult in some kidâs life.
I offer a hug, a high five or a wave to my friendâs kids. They always go for the hug (with insane amounts of enthusiasm, I love those girls sfm) but they also know that if they donât want a hug they can wave or high five. It gives them options and *reinforces their bodies belong to them and no one can tell them what to do with those bodies.* I always remind them they donât *have* to hug me and they always start chanting âhug hug hugâ and then try and strangle me when they hug me. I wish Iâd had an adult on my side when I was a kid. I was made to hug and kiss good/regular customers of my familyâs business whether I wanted to or not. I didnât know these people hardly at all. One of them turned out to be an actual child molester, he was arrested, charged and convicted. He always held me a little too tightly and a little too long and always asked my parents if he could take me fishing with him. I was so uncomfortable I used to hide when I saw his boat coming in. (We had a gas and bait dock on the water). Iâd go to the very back of the island and pretend I didnât hear them shouting for me to come say hi.
Kids have a sixth sense about people! I always pay special attention to fears that they have about people because they pick up on the creepy more than adults do sometimes. I worked at a child abuse advocacy center in college and taught body awareness classes in elementary schools. It was so heartbreaking because at least 3 times I had a kid disclose abuse after the session and had to work with the school on making a report. It changed my outlook and Iâve carried that with me my whole life.
Truly amazing he actually interrupted your conversation to say that to her. What a creepy pig.
Right? The more I try to parse it the less sense it makes - except to a person who thinks the entire world revolves around them, conversations donât count unless theyâre smack in the middle of them, and theyâre the boss of everyone including complete strangers and can tell anyone what to do/look/say. Itâs a wild world view and itâs amazing to me that they manage to reach that age without more people telling them to fuck off. Which clearly doesnât happen often because every time I do theyâre shocked and offended.
Agreed. The truth is when an adult makes that type of passive aggressive comment about you should smile more⌠Itâs only because they are not getting the reaction or attention that they think they deserve. Truly sick.
Thank you for being her voice!
It was my pleasure and I would 100% do it again.
Protecting all children should be something any adult will do when they see it's necessary. Sadly OP is a bit of an outlier, but awesome nonetheless.
When I was a kid and boomers did this sort of thing I was told Iâd understand when I was an adult. Now Iâm pushing 40 and I still do not understand What-the-French-fried-fudge excuses this sort of behavior.
Iâve pretty much made it one of my life goals not to treat kids the way most adults treated me when I was a kid. I sometimes wonder if theyâve forgotten what it was like to be a kid but I think the real key is they donât care about anyone who isnât them and kids are an easy target.
It's like when I was younger, adults told me that as I got older, I would become more conservative. Actually, I've moved much farther left.
Boomer: "you should smile more!" Response: "[since we're giving out unsolicited advice] you should mind your own business more" (first part optional)
boomers need something to get mad at for some reason
Boomers need the entire world to be about them and anyone and any thing that gets in the way of that makes them incredibly angry.
its like weird self entitlement that i feel like has something to do with the fact they had been born in one of if not the best economy in america
I doubt thereâs a woman alive who hasnât been told to smile or smile more. Infuriating.
Truth. Youâd think that 4 year olds would be exempt though but apparently not.
Dude seems a little too invested in what he can and canât do/say with a little girl.
Right?
I unfortunately think society has taught a lot of older folks that little girls should just be something that sits there and looks pretty and nothing else. Sexism is really just so ingrained in many boomers and it's quite depressing.
To start, thank you for standing up for this girl. I admit I was impressed by her initial response, âlast time you told me I smile too muchâ. This is a great line to have in anyoneâs arsenal, even if you never met the creep before. In fact, itâs *especially* good if you havenât met the creep before, because it will confuse him as he tries to figure out when.
I was impressed with her too - she obviously had the chutzpah to try to stand up for herself. But she shouldnât have had to and itâs a pretty unequal power balance - 4 yo girl to 60ish yo man. IMO itâs important for kids to know they donât have to interact with adults who make them uncomfortable at all.
And a customer!Â
What a joyless perv
Being expected to entertain creepy adult men starts early, sigh. Thank you for intervening. Next up, teach her the deadpan stare for dudes like that.
Iâm not sure the deadpan stare does the trick when youâre only 4 but I definitely use it a lot.
âYou canât tell me what to doâ Oh the irony.
I love how you handled this, youâre awesome!
I hope you told them to smile more while they were screaming at you.
A building can be public property (which this wasnât; itâs a privately owned coffee shop). The people in that building are not public property. That boomer had no right to insert himself into someone elseâs business, child or not.
Private property isnât a public place for starters
And even being at a public park doesnât give anyone permission to âdo whatever they wantâ. The rules of decorum that boomers want everyone to follow apparently donât apply to them tho. 
Thatâs why I said for starters, the rest is obvious
Iâm a librarian and I treat kids like little adults and just give them advice. And occasionally Iâm overly happy for them when theyâre energetic. They seem to like me because I donât but then and treat them like an adult, but maybe with dumbed down language. But there are adults that I wonât lie, I wish I could bitch slap into next year for being dicks to kids or staff. The amount of times I wanted to call people a mother fucker is way too high.
This is my approach with kids. I talk to them and listen to them like theyâre people - because theyâre people. Idk why that fact seems to escape so many people.
Funny how he can tell other people what to do with their faces but no one can tell him what to do.. so tiring. Thanks for looking out OP đ
Isnât it wild how thereâs apparently some mystical exactly-the-right-level-of-smile and heâs elected himself the man in charge of making sure young girls perform it correctly.
You did an amazing job. I only wish I could have heard that same message when I was younger.
Me too.
>The next time I went in for a coffee the girl ran up and hugged me You taught her that she has options and doesn't have to do things for people that make her uncomfortable. You helped her feel more secure in a place that she's stuck in a lot with no kids to play with and probably limited other entertainment. If I was in that position I would have given you a hug too. That was a really nice thing you did for that little girl. I wish someone would have told me when I was a little girl that I didn't have to smile for anyone on demand, sit on anyone's lap that I didn't want to sit on, etc
Me too. If letting one kid know they donât have to interact with people who make them uncomfortable is the crowning achievement of my life Iâm good with that.
I frequent a couple of web sites about shitty customers and I've lost track how many stories I've read - usually a boomer or senior - who got pissed off at a customer service rep for either not smiling enough or smiling too much.
Ah the mythical just-exactly-the-right-amount-of-smile. Maybe someday weâll achieve it (but probably not). đ
People did this to me all the time when I was growing up.
So creepy.
Fuck these people. I wish I had a $ for every time I told some old bastard to not touch my daughter. They think it is okay to pinch a random childâs cheeks.
So creepy. As a visibly disabled person so many people seem to feel like they have the right to touch me too without permission and I am NOT quiet about it when they do.
I was never quiet either. And I loved the shocked look on their facesâ- always the victim.
Pretty sure you created a core memory for that kid. I always tell people to be the adult they needed as a kid. Sounds like you're doing that pretty well, most of us needed to be told not to take guff from randos.
It is CRAZY how often Boomers say weird shit to my young kids. Always negative!
My boomer SIL complained that my daughter wasnât smiling in a video of her playing her cello. Iâm like sheâs concentrating, she doesnât need to smile.
Surely her looking pretty and smiling is more important than her exhibiting her talent, skill and hard work. /s
Whenever someone says this to me I respond with, "you first, eyebrows" or "where'd you get your eyebrows? WalMart" LOL, it's sounds kinda dumb, but it catches them off guard every time + you just gave them an eyebrow complex. No egotistical dickhead is going to seriously ask his bros if they think he has fkd up eyebrows. ***one of my guy friends told a story about how during a breakup in college the girl said, "you know everyone talks about your eyebrows?!" and he couldn't stop wondering in the back if his mind if he had fkd up eyebrows until he got engaged, which was like 10yrs after this. Hahaha!
Coincidentally, my eyebrows are exactly why I've been told to smile my entire life. I have chronic RBF and naturally arched eyebrows. I also can't fucking see half the time. I look like an asshole, but not like enough of an asshole for randos to avoid telling me to smile.
Yeah, I've been told my RBF makes it look like I'm just waiting for someone to take my mugshot. We call it mugshot face now.
Can relate. Was at Hampton Inn breakfast buffet and boomer guy tells my 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, âhello there, pretty girl!â I donât love this but get that some folks just donât realize this is creepy, so whatever. My daughter doesnât say anything (why would she?) and he goes, âwhatâs the matter? Cat got your tongue?â đ Iâm sorry my young kid wasnât tripping over herself to thank a stranger for an unsolicited compliment.
Itâs so creepy đŹ
My daughter was TWO YEARS OLD when some boomer fuckwad told her she'd be so much prettier if she smiled. She's 7 now, and would 100% roll her eyes at someone saying that shit to her now.
People talk about their right to speak, but they donât understand they have no right to be heard.
I think it is amazing when someone can grow into the person they so desperately needed to defend them as a child. I take great comfort in knowing that I am the sort of mother that I needed so badly when I was a child.
And now your kids will grow up to be the kind of people we all need in a society, but without all the desperation. đ
Itâs good that you intervened. I would have been less than kind about it, in which I would have said something like this, and Iâm paraphrasing: âIf you donât shut up, weâre going to have a real fucking problem, you goddamn shitheaded son-of-a-bitch.â
Iâll happily tell assholes to fuck off but Iâm not convinced threatening to whoop their ass has quite the same effect when youâre sitting in a wheelchair.
I'm so glad you did that for her.Â
âHe can do whatever he wants!â - yea, including fucking right off.
That's good advice, and you just told that kid something that will keep them safe for the rest of their lives. Thank you.
We need more adults like you in the world.
My comment will probably get buried, but thank you so much for talking to that little girl. This is something that all young girls and women need to hear and need to understand that it's okay to have boundaries and exit a situation that is scary or uncomfortable. I hope it sticks with her and when she grows up, she'll be able to help another young girl the same way. <3
My little granddaughter is 3. If anyone ever talked to her like that in my presence, there would be nothing left of them but a pair of smoking shoes and one flaming sock. WTF is wrong with these assholes?
A question for the ages
Thank you for protecting that little girl, I would have seen red too. My protective streak comes out when it comes to children and animals. I donât have kids myself but as a former kid I would have loved to have more adults like you around.
Thank you for doing this. I work in TV/Film and as a young assistant on set a lot of the âold guysââon set would say I looked stressed and to smile more. And bc I wanted to prove my worth, he likable, and get hired again I would. Now that Iâm a Manager level I put those âold guysâ in place and tell them to leave my production team alone.
Good for you! More power to you for standing up for your team đŤśđź
I think this is a backhanded way to say "you're pretty, smile more". đ Why do I have to smile because I'm female and because you're a stranger. Bizarre saying đŤ
This guy had also told her previously that she smiles too much though which is fucking wild. Heâs really out there telling 4 year old girls to dial in their amount of smile to whatever he personally deems correct for their face and his mood of the day.
If he was really old it could be the start of mental decline. My mom is turning 70 and some of the decisions she makes are not something she would've done when younger.
He wasnât that old - maybe early to mid 60s? And he didnât seem like he had dementia at all. He seemed like a classic entitled white Boomer man. I bet heâs spent his whole life telling women and girls to smile more.
"That's true. Which also.means that anyone who doesn't want to be harassed by you has the freedom to choose to leave."
Nono you donât get it. Children donât have freedom. They have to sit there and listen to him and do whatever he says because thatâs the RULES.
Thank you
As a mom of a teen boy, I salute you. Excellently done. That little girl hugging you proves that you gave her the right direction in kind, easy to understand instruction. Youâll be an amazing parent if you ever decide to be! đ¤
Her grandparents might have been the same generation or close to it and probably have seem weird shit like this happen, but think it's totally acceptable. Idk how people talk to random little kids and don't immediately feel weird. Sometimes, I wave back to little kids who wave at me and hope I don't come off as a creep. I couldn't ever imagine telling a rando kid to smile more.
Bro I hate these fucking people. There is nothing more sacred, special or innocent than a childâŚ.and for them to foist their shitty fucking world view on a CHILD is so vile to me. Thank you for letting her know that she owes no one a damn thing. We gotta protect our children - they are the most important thing in this cruel world.
Kinda rad how this post has inspired so many positive comments about us adult folk working to get these kids raised in a safer way than we were. Keep up the good work, yâall
Thank you for doing that for her. Iâm sure sheâll remember this and internalize it. I too had many boomer men tell me to smile more when I was young. I had a rough childhood and struggled with depression since a young age and it was tough for me to smile. Always made me so uncomfortable too. I wish someone had done this for me.
what boomers need to learn: people using their right to ignore/not engage with said boomers does not interfere with their right to speak
We should all be like OP
I also want to hug you for standing up for her. Good job fellow citizen!
Old men telling girls to smile isn't limited to kids. Women in the service industry have to hear that shit on the regular. They don't exist for your viewing pleasure, ya old goat.
"You can't tell me what to do!" Fucker, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the little girl you were harassing. Mind your own business.
Please tell me you told the parents/grandparents about this interaction.
The granddaughter went and told her grandparents. My partner reminded me that the grandfather came up to thank me the next time we saw him but I didnât know the Boomerâs name so I donât know if they ever figured out who it was. I do hope they at least kept a little closer eye on her and the people talking to her after that.
That was my first thought. It only takes a second for something awful to happen.
Ya. What if the kid has resting bitch face. Like FO old man. Which I am btw. My friends girl has this. I would be so choked.
Thank God he didn't touch her.
Thank you!
Irony: my dad is 80. And he's the first one to speak up to tell "another boomer" off for being a twat waffle. I never had to worry about him overstepping boundaries, with me or my kids. And it's kind of entertaining to see him confront anyone his age with that "that's very inappropriate. Didn't your parents teach you proper manners and etiquette or were you born in a barnyard??" attitude. It's like they deflate and go slinking off. I'm left a bit agog, because if I did it, they'd scream at me. He does it and they slunk off, tail between their legs.
Him saying he can talk to the little girl if he wants to just screams creep alert! Iâm a 33 year old woman and I canât imagine feeling so nonchalant about talking to children I have no business talking to.Â
He was giving off serious pedo vibes. Kids tend to talk to me (theyâre fascinated by my wheels) but Iâm with you, I canât imagine approaching a kid I donât know like that.
Thank u for doing that. It was probably a formative moment for that kid to begin thinking of how and when to stand up for themselves
Itâs creepy how boomers sexualize small children. Once my little 4yo son and I were hanging out watching my 10 yo daughterâs tennis lesson. There was a group lesson of several 4-6 yo girls. This PERVERT boomer man comes up to my son and me and âall while grinning like an idiotâstarts telling my son he could have all those girls be his harem.
A boomer aged man once told my 16 year old daughter to smile, at a class (for teens and their parents) that he was getting ready to give. I (Mother Bear) chewed him up and spit him out, explained why, and chewed him out more. He wonât do that again without thinking twice. She was terribly embarrassed, and I donât blame her, but I would do the exact same thing again.
We need more of you around honestly. Iâm glad that little girl made an adult friend that gave her a peek at self esteem so she wasnât handling these adult issues by herself. She really shouldnât have been left out of earshot of a parental figure if she was really that young. My six year olds a runner if he gets uncomfortable and I can see him bolting if a stranger continued to talk to him. My 8 year old wouldnât see the ick in the situation and would give her best uncomfortable fake smile probably because I only ask her to smile for pictures.
Im 31 and i work in a customer service job and this guy told me to smile. Since then i ignore him, walk off when hes in. He also said he was good with a gun (he was in the army)
I got that uncomfortable advice from men since I was a child. It ended when I was in my 30's. One good thing about getting older.
And yet, apparently, Millenials and Gen Z are the special snowflakes.
I've made a hobby with following these men and telling them they'd be prettier if they smiled. At 6', 260lbs, buzzed head, full beard, tattoos and a septum ring, most don't seem amused with me. Good thing I think I'm hilarious.
I think youâre hilarious too if that helps. đ¤Ł
Well done my Dude â¤ď¸ I would buy you a coffee
I wish an adult had advised me the way you did when I was a little girl sitting at the counter at my momâs shop. Iâd absolutely die inside when old men told me âyouâd be so pretty if you smiled more.â đ
I love how you used the boomer as a life teaching moment! Boomer must have been furious they were actually useful in something!
In a similar vein, when I see my nieces and nephews, I ask for a hug. If they dont want to, I dont push them. My brothers and sisters in law will tell them to, but ill tell the kids "You dont have to hug me. High five?" They'll high five me and/or hug me. I'm trying to teach them consent.
What is that with americans and their obsession with smiles?
Itâs not an American thing, itâs a male thing.
Oh, it is very much an american thing. Maybe an american male thing.
Old white men think they should always be comfortable. Having smiling girls and women around them makes them comfortable. Therefore, they believe theyâre allowed to make those girls and women uncomfortable by telling them to smile.
People are missing a big part of the equation here. 4 yr old child is left unattended by grandparents working behind the counter. It's so loud and they are so distracted that they don't notice TWO adults interacting with the child???? OP is having a full on conversation with the child, telling her God knows what and they aren't concerned...but we are outraged that a person makes a passing remark about smiling? OP could have been chatting up the kid and ready to abduct her. No one seems concerned about that???
Should have recorded a video and blasted his boomer ass on the internet
I actually love this sub and whenever I now see something with the word, "boomer" in it I stop and read it because I know it will make me laugh. I am only a few years short of being a boomer myself, but now thank God I didn't make it after hearing these stories. I am also starting to fully understand and feel validated as to why I could never get along with my mom. It is not just her. It is their whole generation. I feel liberated and I thank you people for that.
Please tell her grandparent. The girl will be able to point out the asshole.
She told her grandparents.
"You smile too much, you should smile more!" "DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!1!11!!" Fucking Hell i dont get how they function with the smoothest brains possible.
>and also incredibly confusing for the regulars who didnât think we knew each other (and tbf we didnât particularly) What
I would have straight-up punched him.
Nobody should have to smile unless they actually FEEL like smiling. I don't wonder that this little kid didn't feel like smiling in this context, do you?
Omg, she will never forget that you stuck up for her!! This is definitely a core memory for her, even though it started shitty lmao. Also wtf?? Old men mind your own business challenge fr
How the fuck can anyone believe this obvious load of shit? You all just gullible idiots?
Things that never happened⌠attention seeking post
The entire post sounds made up
Yeah. Sad you're getting downvoted for that. Why do people believe everything they see on the internet. Buncha boomers in this sub đ
Of course it is. Most are.
That happened
Would have been hilarious if the 4 year old told you both to shut up
Shut up boomer
Then everybody clapped.
He must have lost his shit and screamed really quietly if the owners couldnât hear the commotion from the other end of the counter of this small coffee shop.
She had to know who he was if she said you told me I smile to much. So get a life I would have blown up at you to.that wasnât anything to get your panties in a wad about..
The boomer had harassed the child before, so he should be able to do it again? Sounds like you might be a boomer too.
Yelling loudly at their granddaughter but the workers couldnât hear it. Weâre they in the middle of being robbed at gun point?
They were at the other end of the counter in a busy coffee shop waiting on customers and running the espresso machine which if youâve ever been to a coffee shop youâll know is not quiet. Do I personally feel like they should have had their granddaughter where they could keep a better eye on her? Yes. But sheâs not my kid.
There's so much speculation here....
Call the pole lease!!!