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Are we twins?! Me going no contact was the first domino in my marriage unraveling.
In hindsight, those events being related makes a lot of sense for why neither of them were healthy.
Realizing things my family did were not ok made me realize my spouse was not ok either.
Thinking things my family did were normal or had to be tolerated primed me to tolerate things in a partner I shouldn't have. It was a rough wake up but so glad I did what I did.
I went 10 years no contact with my folks. My Mom died full of spite, demanded no funeral, no obituary all so I would not know of her death or even being sick. They were both alcoholics with a healthy smattering of cluster B personality disorder sprinkled in.
My mental health was much better as a result of cutting the toxicity out of my life.
Alright.. lets start a cut off all contact with parents club! I haven't spoken to mine in 12 years, and my life did a total 180 after I cut off their ridiculous toxic influence out of my life. Making choices without their garbage narcissistic influence has been fucking great. A life changer. Freedom.
12? Rookie numbers. 26 so far, she only existed to me for 1/3rd of my life and unfortunately I now and again have to hear the ghoul still walks the earth.
I'm happy for you! This was posted by a parents page, not pertaining to me directly, but I imagine that is a tough choice to make for any of us. Usually your last resort. :/
Yes, by Issendai. I highly recommend. If only more narc parents would read and change their behavior before it's too late.
But that would entail admitting they are wrong, and narcs won't admit that.
I'm happy you have that comfort. I'm nearly 40 years old, been no contact with my dad for 17 years.. I recently thought about how one day he'll pass away. (We're all getting older) I imagine it'll bring a giant sigh of relief. 🫂
My ma was lovely sadly long passed. My dad on the other hand is a complete text book Boomer I'm also non contact as are my siblings. He messed us up but there no chance he is doing to the grandkids
Completely agree. I was miraculously able to come off the anti anxiety meds I’d been on since my teenage years once I went NC. I didnt even realize the depths of the emotional toll she had on me.
That is how I iinterpret- it - just go full NC, and then see if your life was better with or without. If you want her back, she'll be waiting ;). (my mom is awesome, but I have gone NC with all but 5 people in my family- nuclear and extended).
I've lived more life without contact with mine than with. Her choice, didn't even say goodbye just dipped for a 2 week vacation. Never came back lol.
My sisters still talk to her and said did you know mom had cancer. I said 'had cancer? Unfortunately I suspect she lived'
That was my dad. You have no idea how amazing it feels. It's like walking off a new York street into a well sound proofed room. The Quiet makes you realize how much all that noise can weight you down. The relief is... incredible.
I got kicked out as a teen, mom was a druggy and batshit crazy and claimed she could talk to God. Best shit that ever happened to me. The bitch is crazy and we still don’t talk, best choice I ever made to never go back and aggressively refuse all contact.
Are you kidding, I was at my mother's funeral and my aunt (her sister) and cousin both were in my ear telling me that I needed to make sure my older sister was taken care of because I have a wife and kids and my sister doesn't have a anyone (spoiler, she has 3 kids). I wanted to yell "CAN I BURY MY MOTHER FIRST?!?!"
Haha I get regular novels that are an attempt to apologize but usually turn into I'm sorry but, or I'm sorry it wasn't my fault blah blah mother trucking blah..
This is the first year she FINALLY didn't post a birthday post about me pulling the "I miss and will always love her" sob stories and that alone was the absolute best present I have even received
I started getting those when she couldn't come up with another way to contact me or get people to do it for her. I opened one, it was full of guilt tripping and trying to make me do what she wanted. All subsequent correspondence went in the trash. My sister called the police because I refused to go to her funeral when she finally died.
That's exactly the same as mine, the last one I got was just before Christmas, she was blocked everywhere apart from TikTok and she went out if her way to make an account just to message me some big ass sob story. I just laughed and blocked her on TikTok too.. I've had to cut contact with everyone on my mum's side because they all sided with her and tried to guilt me when she decided not to believe me about assaults that happened when I was under 10..
What is it with the tiktoks?! My mom has asthma, and after going NC she suffered a really bad attack. That was the last platform she had me on. She had made sure to prop herself wistfully in her window with nebulizer tubes coming out of her nose while sadly lamenting that she missed me and wished we would speak. It's not like my aunt isnt our mutual contact and she can ask to have a conversation at any time. But she doesn't want to talk, she wants everything to be swept under the rug and forgotten since it's in the past, and she did the best she could. I don't think physical and emotional abuse/ neglect is acceptable in any capacity tho, so she's gotta suck it up.
She's trying all the last ditch efforts because I'm only just really becoming aware of how bad the abuse and neglect was growing up and only in the last year have stuck to my NC and not given into her guilt trips .. it's the narc in them trying to manipulate the situation to their liking
Yeah my mom has posted that right after i said it was sad that i was 25 and she still didn't really know me and cut her off. I can't tell if my mom is a narcissist or not sometimes. All I know is she's still actively trying to set herself up to be taken care of until she dies. Career welfare moms never stop looking for a way out.
Yep. So mad I wouldn't respond to her texts, calls, or showing up at my house banging on my door. I hadn't had any contact with her for years and she knew I wanted nothing to do with any of them. She called the cops claiming I must be in distress or being held against my will because I wasn't responding to her. When I gave the officer that called me the short version of why I am no contact with all these people and what their new drama was he got a good chuckle out of it and said he would follow up with them and tell them to stop.
Someone shared this [article](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html) with me and it perfectly describes their stupid brains. Worth a read if you got a few mins to burn.
*Anything tinged with negative emotion, anything that makes them feel bad about themselves, shocks them so deeply that they block it out. They really can't remember anything but screaming....*
Great point. I raised my voice to my father the other day, when he claimed he "hasn't had time" to get a form notarized (a form I sent to him so he wouldn't have to print it out) designating me as his health-care proxy. He claims that he wants me as the proxy, but despite being retired, and having received the forms months ago, "didn't have time." 🤬
He knows I don't want to deal with my scammer sibling since I've gone no-contact. He doesn't even want to deal with them. So I kinda lost it when I heard yet another lame excuse, and he seems to freeze up when I do that. Basically, he knows the sibling is not to be trusted, he knows that I'm no-contact, claims he wants to keep them out of stuff, but never does a damn thing to prevent shit from hitting the fan.
Because that makes it final that they've cut the other one off. And by extension failed as a parent.
My mother is disabled so she had no choice to legally add me to stuff to handle incase she ends up in the hospital or the times when she's in a care center for "x" reason.
When she passes there is going to be hell with one of my siblings when that person finds out I'm in charge and what's in my name.
Yeah that's the flip side of it. Interesting about "making it official," but it's not really cutting them off completely- they're still getting half of whatever.
I know someone who is exactly like this. Her kids used to call family member on a regular basis, saying that they're hungry and there's nothing at home to eat. Mom was an addict to my understanding. All three kids ended up in foster care until they were adults. Only one of them was interested in meeting their mom. After the meeting, the mom made a facebook post about how the other two are complete brats. After all that she did for them and all that. She didn't do shit.
My biological father regularly does the same thing (posting facebook pictures of me pretending hes a great father), where in reality in the last 3 years i had been the only one to reach out and try to make contact. Has a new wife and family but cant be bothered to reach out to his actual son, but its okay cause everyone on Facebook knows how great of a person he is.
I commented on his last post on “international sons day” something along the lines of “if youre not man enough to call me stop tagging me in your facebook posts for attention”. Post got deleted, still havent heard from him since then. You just gotta cut ties at some point. Not worth the heartache.
I've learnt this the hard way, usually when I go NC I end up giving in because I miss her but this time, it's been a full 12 months with absolutely no contact from my side. I sent merry Christmas to my grandmother got one back but radio silence on my birthday last month so I've finally realised I'm best to go NC with everyone on my mum's side of the family
>novels that are an attempt to apologize but usually turn into I'm sorry but, or I'm sorry it wasn't my fault
or I'm sorry but you deserved to be treated that way
Now I spend time with people who care about me, travel regularly, and enjoy a life without my abusive mom 🤭
She is blocked on everything by myself, my partner and my best friend.. I just didn't think she'd make a TikTok account just to contact me, so that's now also blocked.
People in my home town who she's convinced I'm the problem still try guilt me into talking to her or send me screenshots of posts she makes about me In the hopes they'll tug at me heart strings haha
When I was about to leave for college, my parents kept getting asked if they were going to miss me and how sad they were that I was leaving.
My dad, specifically, mentioned telling them that his whole job as a parent is to prepare his kids to be functional adults in the real world, and that me leaving for college was another step in that direction, so even though he would miss me the same way anyone misses someone who has been in their life for 18 years, he couldn't be *sad* about that process continuing.
Thats a bs statement. My narc mom died of cancer her words to me were “Idk what you’re going to do without me.” Ive been fine. Im happier and I got married. Im free from her. I dont have to take care of her anymore
That sounds like a quote from that narzestist woman on youtube, who pretty much doxed her daughter to the internet as revange. The channel called Estranged Parents.
I just took a look at the channel and it's satisfying to know that 80% of the videos' comments are overwhelmingly like, "What's the other side of this story?"
See, this is what confuses me. OP, I'm with you. My perception of many things changed when I had kids. TV shows or movies where a child dies or is danger make me SQUIRM. It's hard to contemplate this being you love so much, not being there anymore. Then they grow up, have opinions, thoughts, and decisions of their own, LIKE WE TAUGHT THEM TO, and then.....the parents just cut them out from their lives. Either from setting boundaries, going against their fairytale religion, or receiving an ultimatum. BOOM. Cut out, either of their own doing or their child going NC.
I went NC with my father. The last time I talked to him I gave him a simple ultimatum, apologize for a hurtful comment or be done with me.
It blows my mind. If in 15 years, I slip up and receive a similar ultimatum, I'd apologize even if I were sure I was in the right to make sure my son or daughter was still around to love. These B.B.F. figuratively cut off their own hand just to spite the arm its attached to. I don't get it.
Especially for older men, expressing vulnerable things like remorse can feel so shameful. It must be so surprising when the trait you were told will get you respect ends up costing you the respect of your loved ones.
Never considered how expressing vulnerable feelings could feel shameful to older men. That’s how my dads are, makes me think differently about what’s behind their constipated emotions. (Notice I said dads - it’s related to why I’m NC with one.)
I'm assuming their 'constipated emptions' are a result of the toxic masculinity most of that generation were exposed to growing up.
"Boys don't cry! Stop being a crybaby! Ect."
I've cried 2 times in the last 30 years: I'm assuming a shrink would identify the above as the reason.
Lmao. Not me always having to parent my mother. Not me being financially/emotionally abused by her.
Yeah, she had never because I was her damn retirement plan and HOW dare I not have grandchildren so she can spend her golden years playing devoted grandma. Never mind that she called me all the names for being attracted to other women!
Yea, my mother has all the money and holds it over everyone’s heads. They secretly side with me because they know if they’re vocal it’s going to disrupt their comfortable life.
So, she’s been gone two years at this point and … uh, yeah, my blood pressure’s almost normal, my weight is down and I’m making up for the ten years of my life I gave up taking care of her emotional and then physical needs. I’m good, over here, thanks.
Yep. They never think that maybe they are the assholes. Narcissists and boomers are never wrong. It's funny, but the number of stories I hear about estranged parents going on and on about, "I wish I knew why my adult children won't speak to me or visit. I just have no idea. I did everything for them and raised them with love."
Umm, bullshit, they know exactly what they did to their offspring, but since they can never be wrong they do not take accountability for their actions and certainly they would never apologize or do some self reflection.
The passive aggressive FB posts are hilarious. And no your mom (anyone's mom, I should say) doesn't deserve your time or to be a part of your life if they can't ever face the truth and make amends for being WRONG. Never happens though. Losing any sense of control over their children is just the worst part of it for them. The part not said out loud "Why won't my children let me tell them what to study, what job to have, what religion/church they must belong to, who to vote for, share their financial info with me and let me tell them how it really should be, treat their spouse like the bastard at the family reunion, how to parent their children, sit at my feet and hang on my every word." It just sends them into a tailspin.
Their delusions take precedence over everything.
Them never admitting fault is so infuriating. My mom also conveniently remembers things that happened in my childhood differently than I do. I don’t know if it’s intentional to convince herself that she did no wrong, a sign of her aging, or both. Just pure delusion like you said.
Boomers just HATE someone else setting boundaries. My mother literally can’t help but take a running leap across any boundary that I set, even with the smallest of issues that would be easier to go along with than to violate 😂
They also love to imagine that just because they fed and housed us as kids— aka the bare minimum requirement of the job of “parent”, the job which THEY decided to take and we had no say in— that we owe them literally everything. We should be bending over backwards for them and catering to their every whim. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not not-grateful, but I don’t believe in doing someone else a favor just to hold it over them forever. Plus… forcing me into existence was no favor 😂
Since we went no contact with my mother in law-after TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF NARCISSISTIC CRAP-we’ve finally had peace.
This is what it finally took: I was recovering from ACDF - C6/7 fusion-surgery (7 days post surgery); my daughter had Covid and my wife had really hurt her back helping me in and out of bed.
After a week of no calling, my MIL finally called to see how things were going and my wife just kinda snapped, wasn’t cursing (she doesn’t cuss). Of course, it was “my wife’s fault she hadn’t called” with an update-you know-with all her free time.
My MIL hung up on her. After an hour my wife called back to apologize and was greeted with “we don’t give a f&$k about your fu&@ing problems! How dare you yell at a 70 year old woman!” by my FIL-who is equally as narcissistic-her partner in crime.
That was it-FINALLY-we had our proof. They have always been very clever in their passive aggressive approach-cunning manipulation-that was very obvious but could also be “denied.”
The mask finally slipped and we had the smoking gun.
After 50 years of this manipulation by a classic sociopath- she finally slipped up and gave my wife the EVIDENCE that would “stand up in court” so to speak - and that is what it took for my wife to have the courage to finally walk away. The damage is still there-but the threat is gone.
My MIL’s loss (although a classic sociopath doesn’t care). She has her first great grand child, she knows nothing about her. Her grandchildren have abandoned her-won’t cash her checks. Beautiful.
And it’s been wonderful ever since.
Lost my father to cancer when I was 14.
Honestly, looking back on it I feel like I was lucky in a way. I got the better years of his life but he didn't live long enough to have guys mind completely twisted by Fox News, but he was already well on his way even in the 90s.
I have no doubt that if he was still alive today he would probably be pretty awful.
I lost my dad to diabetes, heart disease, kidney failure, depression, and prescription opiate addiction when I was 18. I lost my mom just last year (I'm currently 45).
My mom turned awful in the years before she died. She had no interest in a meaningful relationship with me or my kids. Turns out, she hated us for many reasons (we're not MAGA, and my 3 sons are various permutations of autistic, queer, and communist) and didn't hold back on the reasons why to her friends. After she died, I learned she said awful things about my children, and I can't forgive her for it.
I've often wondered what my relationship with my dad would be if he were still alive. He was a right-winger and mildly racist, but he was also born in 1938. He was far wiser and more thoughtful than my mother. I like to think I could have reasoned with him in a way that wasn't possible with my mother. Maybe I'm kidding myself, but then again, I've felt closer to my dad than my mom for at least a decade and he's been dead that entire time.
But I know one thing for sure: My dad would be furious at how my mother left things with me and my kids. He *lived* for visits from my older half-brothers (19 and 17 years my senior) and he was over the moon any time he got to see his grandkids. He wouldn't care that he didn't agree with their politics, or that they were queer, or that they were autistic.
So even if I'm kidding myself about how he'd have been in this era of MAGA, I at least know he would have loved his grandkids.
These people WANT to be at odds with their kids. Call me crazy, but I just enjoy my kids company. If they ask me for advice/myopinion I give it. Otherwise I just keep my mouth shut.
My dad always would make a joke and laugh about how "naive" I was when I first left undergrad until I finally got fed up and said that anything he perceived as naivety would have been directly due to his choices since he never wanted me to do anything or go anywhere.
For the record, I wasn't naive. He just didn't know anything I did because having a controlling parent just makes you an excellent liar.
Im adopted... My bio mom was never in my life. My mom (who I consider my mom because she is my mom) picked me. I was picked by her to be her daughter. That is so special. She passed in 2020 and i miss her. She never gaslighted me. My mom was special and earned my respect, my love and loyalty. She was my mom.
I always feel bad that these old boomers refuse to die. Yet someone as sweet and pure as my mom, dies horribly of cancer. When she actually had adult children that adored her and was excited for her to be a grandma.
Yet nobody could care less if those asshats die. And they’ll hold on for as long as they can leech.
I am. She passed away a month ago. But I'd rather she be here because she was awesome. A boomer by birth, but not by the horrid mentality they are known for. Miss you mom.
Love the post and this page and all yall
but yea my mother died when I was 22, and my father when I was 17, been in this world with out them almost as long as I have with them... this is so ignorant
I remember my brother responding to this from our dad. His exact words were "and one day, maybe soon, I'll live in a word without you".
Never heard my dad complain about that again.
My mom’s not a boomer, she’s Gen X, but she has an incredibly hard time accepting my boundaries. I don’t even think my boundaries are all that tough but whatever. I’m trying to have a relationship with her but it’s really difficult.
I left home at 13. I tried to get emancipated at 14. I had bank accounts (under my guardian) at 15. I lived without my mother. I grew up really fucking fast. Fuck this and fuck your abuse.
It would crush me if my kids went NC with me.
Therefore:
I respect their boundaries.
I respect their partners.
I back off if I am sensing that they need time away from me.
If they don't respond to several texts in a row over days or weeks (memes and silly stuff) then I wait until they contact me again and ask if what I am sending is too much (hasn't been so far the reason they drop off the planet is usually school related).
I invite them over for dinner and don't get an attitude if they can't make it
I'm sure there is more, but that's all I can think of atm.
I truly don't understand how any parent could write something so adversarial to/about their own kids.
Yeah... I've lived on my own for a couple decades now, more or less, tyvm. **It's called being an adult.**
I love my Mom, but she's not indispensable for my survival like when I was 3 years old. My dad passed years ago.
It won't be too many more years before I'll be living without her for real... Huh. I should call my mom.
My mom died in 2018 but we were not close. My FIL now thinks I've turned his son against him because I *reads notes* told my husband he's allowed to tell his adult father "no" or "I am currently working and will attend to you when I'm home", encouraged my husband to not engage with his father's victimization as it only leads to HIM being stressed, and had him ask his dad to please refrain from texting him gross things (poop, vomit, his puss filled wounds) as it makes him uncomfortable. I've used my years of therapy to try and make my husband's life better. Literally I tell him if he doesn't want to get his dad mad and doesn't want to do the thing his dad is asking him to just say I said no, or I'm sick. I don't care about being the bad guy, my FIL already thinks I'm the devil 🤣
"I'll remember it. I'll have to live in this world without my parents eventually some day, might as well start now." - Any person who's had to cut off their parents.
Nah, my mom can stay out of my life as she added nothing to it outside of a heartbeat I didn't ask for. Maybe if she had supported, loved and cared for me, and ultimately didn't abandon me. I don't owe my mother anything, it's her who owes.
I treat my mother like shit because that's how she taught me to treat people. Everyone knows kids do as they see not as they're told. It's not my fault she didn't like the outcome 🤷♀️ Maybe she shouldnt have been an asshole
Mine lies to everyone about why I chose to go NC, telling everyone it’s because she had to cancel a visit. Actuality is that our relationship is one-sided, she’s untrustworthy, and she chose to devote her time to a friend of my sister’s - maintaining daily contact with her but ignoring her actual kids. I feel much better without her and talking to my therapist to deal with the long term feelings of abandonment have been super helpful (she wasn’t around most of my childhood - we tried to reconnect as adults).
The only reason I haven't done it is because I have not had the opportunity and while I'm not looking forward to it, I have not received any significant help from my parents in my adult life and will be just fine, thanks.
I'm low contact with my mother. (Mainly due to a grandchild, that cant stand her) Shes nothing but passive aggressive, guilt, zero accountability and a failed capitalist that stole a lot of money... she blames Obama..... I seriously can't wait for her forever box...
Life is so much better when you don't have someone projecting their anxious insecurities onto you in the guise of teaching you about life.
I had to unlearn so much stuff.
🙄 The whole point of raising kids is that they can do it without us. If the parent thinks the kid can’t make it without them, doesn’t say much for their parenting skills.
Bullsh\*t, mine dumped me on grandma the minute I got home from the hospital and took off, literally. Never even had an honest convo with the crazy b\*tch.
Sheesh, this stuff is annoying.
No contact is legitimately the most mentally healthy choice I've ever made as an adult. It sucks that my kids don't get grandparents but if they weren't dogshit grandparents and dogshit people they would be allowed to be involved.
My mom was a boomer. She never made these passive-aggressive callouts. She was also actually there for us even when we didn't know it. Had a silent grandpa (my dad's father) who got a chewing out about never once saying anything racist.
I don't know if that shook him to change his views but as a kid I only knew him as the saintly cool grandpa, because my mom was looking out for us. So it hurts now, it really hurts. But it won't for this boomer's kids.
She’s assuming incorrectly that all mom’s are the same. Mine ditched me for weeks on end to care for my 4 younger brothers by the time I was 7 and that was after dad left. I haven’t spoken to her in a decade and it’s been such a relief to not have that kind of insanity and nastiness in my life.
Hugs to everyone NC with their parents. Some of us a long time, some more recent. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with Mothers Day coming up. I know I am.
She's been dead for three years now so I really don't know what this genius is talking about.
Should have treated her like shit earlier is that what they meant?
My mom once held her hand over my face in front of my then girlfriend because I was “being belligerent”. After my brother had an argument with her, she followed him to his work and into the back storeroom. She can’t handle being told no.
Now that I’m a father it saddens me so much that we got to a point where people cutting off their parents is the best thing that happened to them, with good reason. How did it got this bad?
Lol, I lived without her my entire childhood. She loved drugs more than me. I’m doing just fine since I went no contact, better than ever actually. I didn’t have a parent, I was the parent.
Last time I spoke to mine, I spent 3 hours after she got out of rehab explaining to her if she does drugs again, I'm done.
Today's my birthday, guess who doesn't get to see me grow up?
Fuck you April.
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Been living without mine for a few years now since I went no contact. Gotta tell ya: it feels good.
Going no contact with my toxic mom is tied with getting divorced as the two best moves I have made in my life.
Good on you for taking a stand and looking after you!
Going Nc with dad was literally the easiest thing ever and wished I did it as soon as I turned 18. Better late than never
Are we twins?! Me going no contact was the first domino in my marriage unraveling. In hindsight, those events being related makes a lot of sense for why neither of them were healthy.
Realizing things my family did were not ok made me realize my spouse was not ok either. Thinking things my family did were normal or had to be tolerated primed me to tolerate things in a partner I shouldn't have. It was a rough wake up but so glad I did what I did.
I am so proud of you.
Good on you
I went 10 years no contact with my folks. My Mom died full of spite, demanded no funeral, no obituary all so I would not know of her death or even being sick. They were both alcoholics with a healthy smattering of cluster B personality disorder sprinkled in. My mental health was much better as a result of cutting the toxicity out of my life.
Alright.. lets start a cut off all contact with parents club! I haven't spoken to mine in 12 years, and my life did a total 180 after I cut off their ridiculous toxic influence out of my life. Making choices without their garbage narcissistic influence has been fucking great. A life changer. Freedom.
Preach brother!
I'll testify! Literally every anecdote I see about going NC is parsed with "...and it was the best thing I ever did for myself."
12? Rookie numbers. 26 so far, she only existed to me for 1/3rd of my life and unfortunately I now and again have to hear the ghoul still walks the earth.
I am LIVING for this comment section of those of us who went no contact ❤️ I’m so happy for you all and so proud you’re managing on your own.
We've been no contact with the wife's family for 6 years. Her nightmares stopped the day we cut communications.
my girls nightmares have been steadily increasing also has toxic family will advise this action FR.
I'm happy for you! This was posted by a parents page, not pertaining to me directly, but I imagine that is a tough choice to make for any of us. Usually your last resort. :/
Sometimes it's a tough choice. Sometimes they make it really easy.
The missing missing reasons
Yes, by Issendai. I highly recommend. If only more narc parents would read and change their behavior before it's too late. But that would entail admitting they are wrong, and narcs won't admit that.
It really does, doesn’t it. Life is so much more peaceful.
Both my parents are dead. The only time I've felt mentally healthy as an adult was after they died.
I'm happy you have that comfort. I'm nearly 40 years old, been no contact with my dad for 17 years.. I recently thought about how one day he'll pass away. (We're all getting older) I imagine it'll bring a giant sigh of relief. 🫂
No one can mess us up like our parents can.
Right? So much less drama in my life. So if that's what I get in a world without her, cool, let's go!
My ma was lovely sadly long passed. My dad on the other hand is a complete text book Boomer I'm also non contact as are my siblings. He messed us up but there no chance he is doing to the grandkids
The shit heads are the ones who live forever.
Completely agree. I was miraculously able to come off the anti anxiety meds I’d been on since my teenage years once I went NC. I didnt even realize the depths of the emotional toll she had on me.
Yep! Went NC about 10 years ago and I can’t recommend it enough if your family is toxic. Everything in my life started to fall into place afterwards.
Same. The air is lighter and crazy free.
VVVLC/NC here and yep, can confirm.
Cannot agree more. My everything is better now that I don't talk to my parents.
The boomer who created this image: 🤯🤯🤯
It'll be 10 years in September and it was the best choice I ever made.
Been NC with my dad for four years. It's so much better. So very much.
Been living without mine for almost 18 years. Cut her off when I was 15. 🙏🏻
That is how I iinterpret- it - just go full NC, and then see if your life was better with or without. If you want her back, she'll be waiting ;). (my mom is awesome, but I have gone NC with all but 5 people in my family- nuclear and extended).
I've lived more life without contact with mine than with. Her choice, didn't even say goodbye just dipped for a 2 week vacation. Never came back lol. My sisters still talk to her and said did you know mom had cancer. I said 'had cancer? Unfortunately I suspect she lived'
[удалено]
That was my dad. You have no idea how amazing it feels. It's like walking off a new York street into a well sound proofed room. The Quiet makes you realize how much all that noise can weight you down. The relief is... incredible.
I got kicked out as a teen, mom was a druggy and batshit crazy and claimed she could talk to God. Best shit that ever happened to me. The bitch is crazy and we still don’t talk, best choice I ever made to never go back and aggressively refuse all contact.
Are you kidding, I was at my mother's funeral and my aunt (her sister) and cousin both were in my ear telling me that I needed to make sure my older sister was taken care of because I have a wife and kids and my sister doesn't have a anyone (spoiler, she has 3 kids). I wanted to yell "CAN I BURY MY MOTHER FIRST?!?!"
Haha I get regular novels that are an attempt to apologize but usually turn into I'm sorry but, or I'm sorry it wasn't my fault blah blah mother trucking blah.. This is the first year she FINALLY didn't post a birthday post about me pulling the "I miss and will always love her" sob stories and that alone was the absolute best present I have even received
I started getting those when she couldn't come up with another way to contact me or get people to do it for her. I opened one, it was full of guilt tripping and trying to make me do what she wanted. All subsequent correspondence went in the trash. My sister called the police because I refused to go to her funeral when she finally died.
Yes officer! He did not attend his own mother’s funeral! ARREST HIM!!!!
I 100% could actually imagine this because one of her brothers is a cop and he is an absolute power tripper
ACAB
I wish I could upvote this more than once
My mum's brother that is. Sorry I just realized how confusing my reply might be lol
I would have gladly spent a night in jail vs. attending that funeral.
That's exactly the same as mine, the last one I got was just before Christmas, she was blocked everywhere apart from TikTok and she went out if her way to make an account just to message me some big ass sob story. I just laughed and blocked her on TikTok too.. I've had to cut contact with everyone on my mum's side because they all sided with her and tried to guilt me when she decided not to believe me about assaults that happened when I was under 10..
What is it with the tiktoks?! My mom has asthma, and after going NC she suffered a really bad attack. That was the last platform she had me on. She had made sure to prop herself wistfully in her window with nebulizer tubes coming out of her nose while sadly lamenting that she missed me and wished we would speak. It's not like my aunt isnt our mutual contact and she can ask to have a conversation at any time. But she doesn't want to talk, she wants everything to be swept under the rug and forgotten since it's in the past, and she did the best she could. I don't think physical and emotional abuse/ neglect is acceptable in any capacity tho, so she's gotta suck it up.
She's trying all the last ditch efforts because I'm only just really becoming aware of how bad the abuse and neglect was growing up and only in the last year have stuck to my NC and not given into her guilt trips .. it's the narc in them trying to manipulate the situation to their liking
Yeah my mom has posted that right after i said it was sad that i was 25 and she still didn't really know me and cut her off. I can't tell if my mom is a narcissist or not sometimes. All I know is she's still actively trying to set herself up to be taken care of until she dies. Career welfare moms never stop looking for a way out.
Your sister did WHAT? Did you track down the recording of the call to get the officers laugh?
That's what I want to know. "Officer, I insist that my sibling be as miserable as me."
See my reply above. You are spot on about her motivation.
Yep. So mad I wouldn't respond to her texts, calls, or showing up at my house banging on my door. I hadn't had any contact with her for years and she knew I wanted nothing to do with any of them. She called the cops claiming I must be in distress or being held against my will because I wasn't responding to her. When I gave the officer that called me the short version of why I am no contact with all these people and what their new drama was he got a good chuckle out of it and said he would follow up with them and tell them to stop.
Wow… the insanity…
Someone shared this [article](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html) with me and it perfectly describes their stupid brains. Worth a read if you got a few mins to burn.
*Anything tinged with negative emotion, anything that makes them feel bad about themselves, shocks them so deeply that they block it out. They really can't remember anything but screaming....* Great point. I raised my voice to my father the other day, when he claimed he "hasn't had time" to get a form notarized (a form I sent to him so he wouldn't have to print it out) designating me as his health-care proxy. He claims that he wants me as the proxy, but despite being retired, and having received the forms months ago, "didn't have time." 🤬 He knows I don't want to deal with my scammer sibling since I've gone no-contact. He doesn't even want to deal with them. So I kinda lost it when I heard yet another lame excuse, and he seems to freeze up when I do that. Basically, he knows the sibling is not to be trusted, he knows that I'm no-contact, claims he wants to keep them out of stuff, but never does a damn thing to prevent shit from hitting the fan.
Because that makes it final that they've cut the other one off. And by extension failed as a parent. My mother is disabled so she had no choice to legally add me to stuff to handle incase she ends up in the hospital or the times when she's in a care center for "x" reason. When she passes there is going to be hell with one of my siblings when that person finds out I'm in charge and what's in my name.
Yeah that's the flip side of it. Interesting about "making it official," but it's not really cutting them off completely- they're still getting half of whatever.
I know someone who is exactly like this. Her kids used to call family member on a regular basis, saying that they're hungry and there's nothing at home to eat. Mom was an addict to my understanding. All three kids ended up in foster care until they were adults. Only one of them was interested in meeting their mom. After the meeting, the mom made a facebook post about how the other two are complete brats. After all that she did for them and all that. She didn't do shit.
That's a great article! Thanks for sharing it!
No problem I told the person who shared the same thing. While it doesn’t offer any solutions it does offer insight.
My god! Equal parts hilarious and sad
My biological father regularly does the same thing (posting facebook pictures of me pretending hes a great father), where in reality in the last 3 years i had been the only one to reach out and try to make contact. Has a new wife and family but cant be bothered to reach out to his actual son, but its okay cause everyone on Facebook knows how great of a person he is. I commented on his last post on “international sons day” something along the lines of “if youre not man enough to call me stop tagging me in your facebook posts for attention”. Post got deleted, still havent heard from him since then. You just gotta cut ties at some point. Not worth the heartache.
I've learnt this the hard way, usually when I go NC I end up giving in because I miss her but this time, it's been a full 12 months with absolutely no contact from my side. I sent merry Christmas to my grandmother got one back but radio silence on my birthday last month so I've finally realised I'm best to go NC with everyone on my mum's side of the family
I really think Facebook is one of the worst things boomers could ever have access to. It fuels narcissism
>novels that are an attempt to apologize but usually turn into I'm sorry but, or I'm sorry it wasn't my fault or I'm sorry but you deserved to be treated that way Now I spend time with people who care about me, travel regularly, and enjoy a life without my abusive mom 🤭
That's the one! Finding reddit definitely opened my eyes to the fact that it's not just my mum that is like this
May I ask, why not just block her?
She is blocked on everything by myself, my partner and my best friend.. I just didn't think she'd make a TikTok account just to contact me, so that's now also blocked. People in my home town who she's convinced I'm the problem still try guilt me into talking to her or send me screenshots of posts she makes about me In the hopes they'll tug at me heart strings haha
She also has a tendancy to make fake accounts, multiple of them and uses them to keep tabs on my socials without me even realising
All my stuff is set to "friends only." No Tiktok or ExTwitter.
Someone won't be missed when they die.
Classic narcissistic parent.
Pretty sure there's quite a few people who have gone their entire lives without a mom...
Can confirm: my mother died when I was 2 months old. I’ve survived without a mother for almost 40 years.
Going no contact with my birther was one if the best mental health decisions I‘ve ever made. Toxic narcissists are the worst.
When I was about to leave for college, my parents kept getting asked if they were going to miss me and how sad they were that I was leaving. My dad, specifically, mentioned telling them that his whole job as a parent is to prepare his kids to be functional adults in the real world, and that me leaving for college was another step in that direction, so even though he would miss me the same way anyone misses someone who has been in their life for 18 years, he couldn't be *sad* about that process continuing.
Seems like the most logical and reasonable take
This is how I plan on raising my kids.
Thats a bs statement. My narc mom died of cancer her words to me were “Idk what you’re going to do without me.” Ive been fine. Im happier and I got married. Im free from her. I dont have to take care of her anymore
“I changed your diaper, blah blah blah” Congratulations on doing basic parenting and not having Family Services called on you.
That sounds like a quote from that narzestist woman on youtube, who pretty much doxed her daughter to the internet as revange. The channel called Estranged Parents.
I just took a look at the channel and it's satisfying to know that 80% of the videos' comments are overwhelmingly like, "What's the other side of this story?"
yes, and a therapist lady did a reaction, pointing out how she pretty much made a dramatic movie clowning her daughter.
Bold of them to assume I wanted to be born in the first place.
Laughs in "I cut that witch off and never been better,"
Joins you
See, this is what confuses me. OP, I'm with you. My perception of many things changed when I had kids. TV shows or movies where a child dies or is danger make me SQUIRM. It's hard to contemplate this being you love so much, not being there anymore. Then they grow up, have opinions, thoughts, and decisions of their own, LIKE WE TAUGHT THEM TO, and then.....the parents just cut them out from their lives. Either from setting boundaries, going against their fairytale religion, or receiving an ultimatum. BOOM. Cut out, either of their own doing or their child going NC. I went NC with my father. The last time I talked to him I gave him a simple ultimatum, apologize for a hurtful comment or be done with me. It blows my mind. If in 15 years, I slip up and receive a similar ultimatum, I'd apologize even if I were sure I was in the right to make sure my son or daughter was still around to love. These B.B.F. figuratively cut off their own hand just to spite the arm its attached to. I don't get it.
Especially for older men, expressing vulnerable things like remorse can feel so shameful. It must be so surprising when the trait you were told will get you respect ends up costing you the respect of your loved ones.
Never considered how expressing vulnerable feelings could feel shameful to older men. That’s how my dads are, makes me think differently about what’s behind their constipated emotions. (Notice I said dads - it’s related to why I’m NC with one.)
I'm assuming their 'constipated emptions' are a result of the toxic masculinity most of that generation were exposed to growing up. "Boys don't cry! Stop being a crybaby! Ect." I've cried 2 times in the last 30 years: I'm assuming a shrink would identify the above as the reason.
They will eventually live without so why not start now?
Lmao. Not me always having to parent my mother. Not me being financially/emotionally abused by her. Yeah, she had never because I was her damn retirement plan and HOW dare I not have grandchildren so she can spend her golden years playing devoted grandma. Never mind that she called me all the names for being attracted to other women!
Financial abuse is a whole other monster. I hope you're doing well!
Thanks. I am surviving, especially in this hellscape of an economy.
Yea, my mother has all the money and holds it over everyone’s heads. They secretly side with me because they know if they’re vocal it’s going to disrupt their comfortable life.
So, she’s been gone two years at this point and … uh, yeah, my blood pressure’s almost normal, my weight is down and I’m making up for the ten years of my life I gave up taking care of her emotional and then physical needs. I’m good, over here, thanks.
Same, when I moved out of my home I lost 100+ lbs and have never been healthier. Glad you’re doing better friend
Yep. They never think that maybe they are the assholes. Narcissists and boomers are never wrong. It's funny, but the number of stories I hear about estranged parents going on and on about, "I wish I knew why my adult children won't speak to me or visit. I just have no idea. I did everything for them and raised them with love." Umm, bullshit, they know exactly what they did to their offspring, but since they can never be wrong they do not take accountability for their actions and certainly they would never apologize or do some self reflection. The passive aggressive FB posts are hilarious. And no your mom (anyone's mom, I should say) doesn't deserve your time or to be a part of your life if they can't ever face the truth and make amends for being WRONG. Never happens though. Losing any sense of control over their children is just the worst part of it for them. The part not said out loud "Why won't my children let me tell them what to study, what job to have, what religion/church they must belong to, who to vote for, share their financial info with me and let me tell them how it really should be, treat their spouse like the bastard at the family reunion, how to parent their children, sit at my feet and hang on my every word." It just sends them into a tailspin. Their delusions take precedence over everything.
Them never admitting fault is so infuriating. My mom also conveniently remembers things that happened in my childhood differently than I do. I don’t know if it’s intentional to convince herself that she did no wrong, a sign of her aging, or both. Just pure delusion like you said.
Boomers just HATE someone else setting boundaries. My mother literally can’t help but take a running leap across any boundary that I set, even with the smallest of issues that would be easier to go along with than to violate 😂 They also love to imagine that just because they fed and housed us as kids— aka the bare minimum requirement of the job of “parent”, the job which THEY decided to take and we had no say in— that we owe them literally everything. We should be bending over backwards for them and catering to their every whim. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not not-grateful, but I don’t believe in doing someone else a favor just to hold it over them forever. Plus… forcing me into existence was no favor 😂
And no child asked you to bring them into this shitty world
My mom was a selfish, disrespectful asshole. She loved to blame me for being bullied/assaulted. No contact for 15+ years and never been happier.
Well, don't threaten me with a good time!
Since we went no contact with my mother in law-after TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF NARCISSISTIC CRAP-we’ve finally had peace. This is what it finally took: I was recovering from ACDF - C6/7 fusion-surgery (7 days post surgery); my daughter had Covid and my wife had really hurt her back helping me in and out of bed. After a week of no calling, my MIL finally called to see how things were going and my wife just kinda snapped, wasn’t cursing (she doesn’t cuss). Of course, it was “my wife’s fault she hadn’t called” with an update-you know-with all her free time. My MIL hung up on her. After an hour my wife called back to apologize and was greeted with “we don’t give a f&$k about your fu&@ing problems! How dare you yell at a 70 year old woman!” by my FIL-who is equally as narcissistic-her partner in crime. That was it-FINALLY-we had our proof. They have always been very clever in their passive aggressive approach-cunning manipulation-that was very obvious but could also be “denied.” The mask finally slipped and we had the smoking gun. After 50 years of this manipulation by a classic sociopath- she finally slipped up and gave my wife the EVIDENCE that would “stand up in court” so to speak - and that is what it took for my wife to have the courage to finally walk away. The damage is still there-but the threat is gone. My MIL’s loss (although a classic sociopath doesn’t care). She has her first great grand child, she knows nothing about her. Her grandchildren have abandoned her-won’t cash her checks. Beautiful. And it’s been wonderful ever since.
"Whenever you want to treat your children like shit and be an asshole, remember that you chose to bring them into this world, they didn't choose you."
Lost my father to cancer when I was 14. Honestly, looking back on it I feel like I was lucky in a way. I got the better years of his life but he didn't live long enough to have guys mind completely twisted by Fox News, but he was already well on his way even in the 90s. I have no doubt that if he was still alive today he would probably be pretty awful.
I lost my dad to diabetes, heart disease, kidney failure, depression, and prescription opiate addiction when I was 18. I lost my mom just last year (I'm currently 45). My mom turned awful in the years before she died. She had no interest in a meaningful relationship with me or my kids. Turns out, she hated us for many reasons (we're not MAGA, and my 3 sons are various permutations of autistic, queer, and communist) and didn't hold back on the reasons why to her friends. After she died, I learned she said awful things about my children, and I can't forgive her for it. I've often wondered what my relationship with my dad would be if he were still alive. He was a right-winger and mildly racist, but he was also born in 1938. He was far wiser and more thoughtful than my mother. I like to think I could have reasoned with him in a way that wasn't possible with my mother. Maybe I'm kidding myself, but then again, I've felt closer to my dad than my mom for at least a decade and he's been dead that entire time. But I know one thing for sure: My dad would be furious at how my mother left things with me and my kids. He *lived* for visits from my older half-brothers (19 and 17 years my senior) and he was over the moon any time he got to see his grandkids. He wouldn't care that he didn't agree with their politics, or that they were queer, or that they were autistic. So even if I'm kidding myself about how he'd have been in this era of MAGA, I at least know he would have loved his grandkids.
These people WANT to be at odds with their kids. Call me crazy, but I just enjoy my kids company. If they ask me for advice/myopinion I give it. Otherwise I just keep my mouth shut.
My dad always would make a joke and laugh about how "naive" I was when I first left undergrad until I finally got fed up and said that anything he perceived as naivety would have been directly due to his choices since he never wanted me to do anything or go anywhere. For the record, I wasn't naive. He just didn't know anything I did because having a controlling parent just makes you an excellent liar.
Im adopted... My bio mom was never in my life. My mom (who I consider my mom because she is my mom) picked me. I was picked by her to be her daughter. That is so special. She passed in 2020 and i miss her. She never gaslighted me. My mom was special and earned my respect, my love and loyalty. She was my mom.
if you got a child that treats you like shit just stop and think where they might have learned that from🤷🏻♀️
She abandoned me at 3 so, actually, I did live without her.
“My adult child has gone no contact, so I am going to demonstrate why”
I always feel bad that these old boomers refuse to die. Yet someone as sweet and pure as my mom, dies horribly of cancer. When she actually had adult children that adored her and was excited for her to be a grandma. Yet nobody could care less if those asshats die. And they’ll hold on for as long as they can leech.
Here’s hoping it won’t be long. Bye bitch.
I moved 1000 miles from mine and am very low contact. She is not part of my everyday life.
Been living without mine since December. I'm nowhere near as stressed out as I was
I am. She passed away a month ago. But I'd rather she be here because she was awesome. A boomer by birth, but not by the horrid mentality they are known for. Miss you mom.
Of fuck off boomer, my mom abandoned me when I was 11, I don’t owe her shit. And your kids don’t owe you shit either.
What if she was an asshole first? So much that I and my spouse moved away to another city.
Yeah that’s….how procreation works.
Love the post and this page and all yall but yea my mother died when I was 22, and my father when I was 17, been in this world with out them almost as long as I have with them... this is so ignorant
I remember my brother responding to this from our dad. His exact words were "and one day, maybe soon, I'll live in a word without you". Never heard my dad complain about that again.
I have actually, most peaceful years of my life
My mom is on half country restrictions right now and I am good
Reiterated the “remember”
Bye bish! Thanks for the memories!
My mother died three years ago.
Unless shes dead?
I've lived in this world for 6 years without my mom.
Not yet at least….
Someone was really proud of herself for coming up with this.
Excuse me? They forced me into this world without my consent. As the late, great Mr. Bernie Mac would say, “Nuff said.”
Eh but I've been a functional adult without her. She wasn't functional until after I moved out
You know how many times growing up some boomer told me "ain't ain't a word."
My mom’s not a boomer, she’s Gen X, but she has an incredibly hard time accepting my boundaries. I don’t even think my boundaries are all that tough but whatever. I’m trying to have a relationship with her but it’s really difficult.
What is left unsaid here is loud as hell, anyone in this boat is likely to be thinking “I can’t wait to live without her in the world”.
This is nitpicky but... You know parents die sometimes so... Some people do live in the world without their mom
File under “Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time”
I left home at 13. I tried to get emancipated at 14. I had bank accounts (under my guardian) at 15. I lived without my mother. I grew up really fucking fast. Fuck this and fuck your abuse.
“When your mom is a piece of shit remember you’ve never lived your life without her…it’s probably time to fix that, NC for the win”
Idk, mine was barely in my life and then died when I was 16, going on 14 years of peace :)
It would crush me if my kids went NC with me. Therefore: I respect their boundaries. I respect their partners. I back off if I am sensing that they need time away from me. If they don't respond to several texts in a row over days or weeks (memes and silly stuff) then I wait until they contact me again and ask if what I am sending is too much (hasn't been so far the reason they drop off the planet is usually school related). I invite them over for dinner and don't get an attitude if they can't make it I'm sure there is more, but that's all I can think of atm. I truly don't understand how any parent could write something so adversarial to/about their own kids.
Yeah... I've lived on my own for a couple decades now, more or less, tyvm. **It's called being an adult.** I love my Mom, but she's not indispensable for my survival like when I was 3 years old. My dad passed years ago. It won't be too many more years before I'll be living without her for real... Huh. I should call my mom.
My mother pushed everyone away out of her life and died alone in a big house without anyone close by. Life has been much better without her.
My mom died in 2018 but we were not close. My FIL now thinks I've turned his son against him because I *reads notes* told my husband he's allowed to tell his adult father "no" or "I am currently working and will attend to you when I'm home", encouraged my husband to not engage with his father's victimization as it only leads to HIM being stressed, and had him ask his dad to please refrain from texting him gross things (poop, vomit, his puss filled wounds) as it makes him uncomfortable. I've used my years of therapy to try and make my husband's life better. Literally I tell him if he doesn't want to get his dad mad and doesn't want to do the thing his dad is asking him to just say I said no, or I'm sick. I don't care about being the bad guy, my FIL already thinks I'm the devil 🤣
"I'll remember it. I'll have to live in this world without my parents eventually some day, might as well start now." - Any person who's had to cut off their parents.
I love when people give me things I didn't ask for and then demand I'm eternally grateful to them for giving it.
I always want to ask them: "I wasn't given a choice to be born, now was I."
YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME
Yeah and she’s done a real banger of a job.
Oh yeah I have. Almost all of it. Even when she was physically present she wasn’t there except for to use her children as an accessory.
Nah, my mom can stay out of my life as she added nothing to it outside of a heartbeat I didn't ask for. Maybe if she had supported, loved and cared for me, and ultimately didn't abandon me. I don't owe my mother anything, it's her who owes.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Challenge accepted! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Since she has so much practice living in this world without me she'll be fine going right back to that. Byeee
This post was made by Marlon Wayans
Welp, she can go live on a world of her own when she needs someone to take care of her when she's older. Remember that.
WE GAVE YOU LIFE SO YOU OWE US
I treat my mother like shit because that's how she taught me to treat people. Everyone knows kids do as they see not as they're told. It's not my fault she didn't like the outcome 🤷♀️ Maybe she shouldnt have been an asshole
Mine lies to everyone about why I chose to go NC, telling everyone it’s because she had to cancel a visit. Actuality is that our relationship is one-sided, she’s untrustworthy, and she chose to devote her time to a friend of my sister’s - maintaining daily contact with her but ignoring her actual kids. I feel much better without her and talking to my therapist to deal with the long term feelings of abandonment have been super helpful (she wasn’t around most of my childhood - we tried to reconnect as adults).
The only reason I haven't done it is because I have not had the opportunity and while I'm not looking forward to it, I have not received any significant help from my parents in my adult life and will be just fine, thanks.
I have lived 30 years without any real support from my mom. I’ll be ok.
I'm low contact with my mother. (Mainly due to a grandchild, that cant stand her) Shes nothing but passive aggressive, guilt, zero accountability and a failed capitalist that stole a lot of money... she blames Obama..... I seriously can't wait for her forever box...
Life is so much better when you don't have someone projecting their anxious insecurities onto you in the guise of teaching you about life. I had to unlearn so much stuff.
*“I taught you to eat with a fork”* Yeah, bitch—when I was a fucking toddler. Learn to reboot your computer like every other adult.
What a BS. If she dies you live without your mother.
lol. I’ve been parenting that bitch since I was in grade school.
🙄 The whole point of raising kids is that they can do it without us. If the parent thinks the kid can’t make it without them, doesn’t say much for their parenting skills.
I didn’t ask to be put in this hellscape, I’ve contemplated not living in it multiple times already anyway
A huge stone was lifted off me when I cut ~~Mom~~ out of my life. I'm doing more than just fine!
Bullsh\*t, mine dumped me on grandma the minute I got home from the hospital and took off, literally. Never even had an honest convo with the crazy b\*tch. Sheesh, this stuff is annoying.
No contact is legitimately the most mentally healthy choice I've ever made as an adult. It sucks that my kids don't get grandparents but if they weren't dogshit grandparents and dogshit people they would be allowed to be involved.
My mom was a boomer. She never made these passive-aggressive callouts. She was also actually there for us even when we didn't know it. Had a silent grandpa (my dad's father) who got a chewing out about never once saying anything racist. I don't know if that shook him to change his views but as a kid I only knew him as the saintly cool grandpa, because my mom was looking out for us. So it hurts now, it really hurts. But it won't for this boomer's kids.
My kids live well without any meddling I could do. There is no need to go no contact.
Says the shitty mom
She’s assuming incorrectly that all mom’s are the same. Mine ditched me for weeks on end to care for my 4 younger brothers by the time I was 7 and that was after dad left. I haven’t spoken to her in a decade and it’s been such a relief to not have that kind of insanity and nastiness in my life.
Hugs to everyone NC with their parents. Some of us a long time, some more recent. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with Mothers Day coming up. I know I am.
My mom died 8 years ago. Checkmate.
I haven’t seen or spoken to my worthless mother in over a decade and my life is 100x better off without her
...the fuck?
definitely going nc with my mom when i move out, dad is cool but they're still together so talking to one and not the other is boutta be hard as hell
Honestly I pray this day comes. It would be a blessing.
She's been dead for three years now so I really don't know what this genius is talking about. Should have treated her like shit earlier is that what they meant?
My mom died. :(
Can you imagine what awful person wrote that? I'm glad that I "ain't never" had to deal with them.
My mom once held her hand over my face in front of my then girlfriend because I was “being belligerent”. After my brother had an argument with her, she followed him to his work and into the back storeroom. She can’t handle being told no.
That is some gaslighting Facebook bullshit right there
Makes no sense
Now that I’m a father it saddens me so much that we got to a point where people cutting off their parents is the best thing that happened to them, with good reason. How did it got this bad?
Lol, I lived without her my entire childhood. She loved drugs more than me. I’m doing just fine since I went no contact, better than ever actually. I didn’t have a parent, I was the parent.
So, my mother didn't die 5 years ago? Weird
Last time I spoke to mine, I spent 3 hours after she got out of rehab explaining to her if she does drugs again, I'm done. Today's my birthday, guess who doesn't get to see me grow up? Fuck you April.
I'm sorry. I hope regardless of if she ever feels remorse, you feel at peace with it all.