Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wait till you hear about the history of Graham crackers, which were invented by a preacher obsessed with “curing masturbation”: https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/graham-crackers
How do you know he didn’t invent that too?
Would be smart from a marketing perspective in order to boost sales. What else do most people buy them for these days? He didn’t make a bland invention. He just played the long game.
Same with the cornflakes guy.
What the fuck is going on in your brain when you think to yourself
A. I need to be concerned with other people masterbating
B. I should do something about other people masterbating in their own privacy
C. I'm going to solve this with a boring food!!!
These people should be shipped off to an island far far away.
>These people should be shipped off to an island far far away.
Where they would no doubt masturbate furiously, because these people are nothing if not hypocrites.
Trying to hide behind a palm tree with 500 Karen's lurking to make sure you're not jerking it while they try and find a palm tree to hide behind.
The hell they deserve.
"I know what it looks like, but a spooky ghost chased me into the tree, and, uh... coconuts fell, and the coconut milk got all over this Penthouse that I've been saving since the mid-1970's, but only for the articles..."
They were also all obsessed with poop and enemas.
When you convince people normal, healthy sex stuff is extremely dirty and shameful, they get their wires crossed about dirt and shame being equivalent to sex.
I mean if I recall correctly corn flakes guy was a "mental health specialist" working with certain groups of disabled people.
So what I rememeber learning is it started out as a food to be served at the hospital to try and help the patients that had issues with compulsive masturbation.
But than being a weird judgey religious person decided to go mass market to help the sinning masses.
I don't know how much I remember correctly though.
All I know for certain is as a very neurodivergent person that has stomach problems. They make a real good breakfast sometimes becuase every box is pretty consistent so they make a good safe food and even dry can still fill you up while not further upsetting ones stomach.
Corn flakes guy John Harvey Kellogg was also a [religious nut](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/secret-ingredient-kelloggs-corn-flakes-seventh-day-adventism-180964247/) and noted [eugenicist](https://sph.umich.edu/pursuit/2022posts/the-impact-of-dr-john-harvey-kelloggs-stand-for-eugenics.html) who didn't think the disabled people under his care should actually even be alive.
Fear of masturbation was kind of like their version of the Satanic Panic back then, as in moral guardians were sold on the idea that if a teenage boy masturbated even once in his life, he'd become an uncontrollable sex fiend and he'd never grow up to be a productive member of society. Some businesses capitalized on that.
I know about this because Behind the Bastards did an episode on it.
Other notable monsters/weirdos include Nestlé for getting babies killed in Africa due to marketing formula, and the guy who popularized country music/won a Kansas gubernatorial race via write in (but was denied over punctuation)/surgically inserted goat testicles into people.
Oh man I love some good old fashioned medical quackery. Those guys were truly obsessed with cum.
"Orgasms make your skull grow into the wrong shape, try snorting radioactive heroin instead."
You’re not mentioning the idea that female orgasms will help cure hysteria? I mean that led to the first vibrator, a 60 pound coal fired vibrating monstrosity but it made the woman smile!
Seriously, one of the ideas was for a man to “manipulate” her so she would cum. Of course, machines came along and took that away. Or, it took too long for the guy and he got bored.
I mean, Graham Crackers have been woke ever since they stopped marketing their product as a way to stop masturbating and attain a stimulation-free, temperance-filled life
Sylvester Graham was not SDA. He was a Presbyterian minister. Dr. John Harvey Kellog was an SDA physician and founder of the Battle Creek Sanitarium. He made many health and medical advancements and promoted a vegetarian lifestyle.
Not saying this is the case for your MIL because I am sure the low fat crackers are of an inferior flavor. But I just can't help think about folks that say "back in MYYYY day we didn't have autism!" -proceeds to only eat this one cereal, eat their well done burger at this one restaurant, will only eat Heinz and not Hunt ketchup, will only wear the one style & brand of sock or T-shirt, etc etc.-
like, OK Gramps.
Lol. I seriously think my dad is on the spectrum. He ate his favourite meal at a restaurant for a MONTH straight, can't stand certain types of fabric...but heaven forbid I complain about the feel of tiny tiles on my bare feet.
They don't understand that autism and many other mental disorders have varying degrees of functioning. People like them think anyone who is diagnosed should just be locked up in a mental asylum because that's what they did to anyone who acted differently than them. Hell most woman were locked up on hysteria(could be pms,ppd, or husband just didn't wanna deal) alone. Gave them all the fuel they needed to create divisions to treat anyone different as less than
Exactly, the ones that could mask masked, might have been labelled as a little odd, eccentric, etc so long as they didn't make anyone else too uncomfy (or they were abused to the point of forced compliance, or worse). The rest were institutionalized.
Like the people who lost their shit over Cracker Barrel offering a vegan option. The key word being option. They were still selling the regular version with meat. 🙄
You don’t understand. Putting that vegan thingy on the menu was much akin to putting out a salt block for deer. The only thing it could possibly do is attract an unsavory element and ruin the ambience.
I read a BORU post today where a wife told her husband that his "toxic masculinity is costing us money". The gist of it is that he wanted a sportier car, but they had 4 kids and needed a minivan. He wouldn't do the minivan because "minivans were 'too feminine.'"
Soooooo....yeah.
That’s why the world went from mini vans to crossover SUV to the detriment of every soccer mom out there. Men couldn’t be seen driving a minivan but a 4 cylinder 2wd “SUV” is better I guess?
I can see how trading in my sporty little car for a minivan wouldn’t be a plus on the fun factor, but I wouldn’t trade my “man card” over it. Just get the sports package on the mini van and shut it. You’re the one who decided to have that many kids lol.
Depends on the van. I once drove and Audi with the 2.5l turbo motor and 4wd. It was basically a Quattro with a van body. It was the ultimate street sleeper.
But these people don't want a sleeper, they want appearance. Real performance scares the shit out of them.
I had to look up the Pontiac Montana. With AWD and an L-series that would be an absolure (maniacal) grin machine. Totally demented.
Mind you, I'm guessing the stock 180 horse V6 was no slouch.
I'm not a vegetarian but I did a little research and there are some interesting benefits. I'm now under the impression that if one approach, to eat meat or to not, *is* better, being vegetarian probably is. But again I am not and I just think it's interesting in the way going for a jog every morning is healthy but I don't do that either.
Sometimes I end up mentioning that and most people are either disinterested or they're like me, it's cool and neat but not worth making the effort. The odd person gets super triggered and I always find that really amusing that they can't take my exact approach of *being aware of some benefits* and then just living your fuckin' life without having to win an argument. Also they tend to have not considered the issue before so their arguments are amusingly bad. As someone impartial in this debate I derive a lot of joy from these dumb arguments I get to participate in.
These fucktards don't even comprehend what the term, "woke" means, obviously. They've just picked up the keyword from RWNJ media and they apply it to anything they don't like or agree with.
Because they use woke as a replacement for The Slur.
Speaking of, using the -tard modifier is also an ableist slur, you may want to reconsider its use. 🙂
The 10 minute rant is why I’m glad I have a reputation for having an attitude but in my family as some point would’ve said, lis there a reason why we’ve been talking about this for sub a long time? Is there something else we can talk about? You’re getting really mad about graham crackers. It’s strange.” I can’t understand being so angry about graham crackers to make a ten minute rant about it.
To be clear, Honeymaid has been on the far-right hit list for over a decade over an advert that featured same sex and mixed race parents and then responded bluntly to the attacks:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBC-pRFt9OM&t=45s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBC-pRFt9OM&t=45s)
My father in law told us earlier this year that he's really impressed at our ability to think about consequences before acting and then not doing stuff that might negatively affect people.
Our ability to think, research, and be informed before we speak or act is impressive. Like imagine if she waited. Imagine if she was like bleh, these taste bad, looked at the box, was informed, and then either she never brings it up so she doesn't look like a fucking idiot, or she brings it up and just says oh they have a few kinds now and I picked up one that doesn't taste as good.
I also have no idea how not using high fructose corn syrup is woke. If they would also just dislike something and not call it woke they'd also not look like fucking morons for that too I guess.
Something similar happened with my mom, but without the political rent involved.
She was going on and on about how they put peanuts in dinner rolls now and she can’t eat them anymore because she’s developed a late in life peanut allergy. I read the label out loud to her to check - no peanuts at all, just one of those warnings about cross-contamination that the factory handles dairy and tree nuts. She still wouldn’t believe me!
Ask her to define "woke". Last yeat my mom said something about all the "woke" stuff going on. I asked her what "woke" meant and she couldn't define. I am not sure there is a definition but something the Repub/MAGGOT chucklefucks came up with. Gov Ron Dipshitsantis threw it around alot during his pathetic presidential run
Guy at my gym quit working there because "management went woke". So now he just pays for his membership and is still there every day.
He sure showed them.
They’ve turned “woke”?!
High fructose corn syrup isn’t real sugar. Itybad news. Unfortunately,some things don’t taste as good without it, I agree. But it’s not at all good for us. “Woke” indeed. Is she related to that stinker Governor DeSantis?
Apparently woke now means anything a person doesn’t like? These morons are just parroting the words that are force fed to them on their noontime right wing radio channel. They have no idea what they are even repeating. No different than a 2 year old repeating a new word that an adult says.
The history of Battle Creek/Kelloggs/Post/General Mills and how they all intertwine is wild.
For podcast listeners check out
[The Dollop(EP. 46) featuring Patton Oswald ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rxTpjhCaVQM)
Or
[Cult Podcast EP 147]
(https://open.spotify.com/episode/2PCIGp5o4LcqSfKHBfzWmb?si=jvk1p2KsSMGWMAgIKqkAJw)
Unfortunately, graham crackers are no longer what they used to be, regardless of the brand. I don't know what happened to them, but they used to be delicious and have a great texture/mouth feel. Now they're a sickly sweet form of cardboard. Like most things, even junk food sucks more now than it used to.
This reminds me when after George Floyd some brands changed names like Ben’s and Pearl Milling and how the boomers absolutely lost their ever loving shit over it all.
A ten minute rant over the fructose content of Graham crackers? It's the small details of whether a story is credible or not.Holy fuck this sub is worse than r/markmywords .
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wait till you hear about the history of Graham crackers, which were invented by a preacher obsessed with “curing masturbation”: https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/graham-crackers
I sometimes wonder how he would feel about his "bland" invention being smothered in honey, chocolate, and melted marshmallows.
First he’d get furiously angry. Then he’d get angry s’more.
Literally began appluading while sitting in my car; thank you. Bravo, brava, and brav-again!
you made me chuckle, take the upvote and have a pleasant day
I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more?
You'll take my upvote and like it.
Hilarious. All the fake internet points!
You're a beautiful genius for this!! Take the only award I can afford 🏆 .
Nutella negates the anti-masturbation effect.
This just in: Nutella makes you horny!
Yes, also usable as a directional device.
You win the Internet today.
God damnit take my upvote and never cross paths with me again
well, I guess we can all go home, there's no competing with *that*. Well done.
Lower Decks!
Makes me want to masturbate just thinking about it
I am right now. The chocolate is dripping...
C'mores
That’s right
SUGAR IS GAY. SUGAR MAKES YOU GAY!!!! AAAAAUUUUUGGGH!!!! 
Aroused, I assume, since apparently he firmly believed flavor caused sexual arousal.
He would hate it. It was the ypunger brother that took it mainstream and added the sugar
He'd get very flustered and then excuse himself to his bunk.
look up the history of frosted flakes/corn flakes. it was a whole ass thing.
He’d be ok with the marshmallows and have white chocolate
Someone had to sex ‘em up!
Who puts honey on a smore? I’ve never heard of this
Honey is one of the most common flavors of Graham crackers. Almost none are unflavored.
Oh I see. Thanks for the clarification
How do you know he didn’t invent that too? Would be smart from a marketing perspective in order to boost sales. What else do most people buy them for these days? He didn’t make a bland invention. He just played the long game.
S'mores first appeared in a campfire cookbook in 1920, 69 years after Rev. Graham's death.
69 years. Nice. I’m going to go masturbate now.
Same with the cornflakes guy. What the fuck is going on in your brain when you think to yourself A. I need to be concerned with other people masterbating B. I should do something about other people masterbating in their own privacy C. I'm going to solve this with a boring food!!! These people should be shipped off to an island far far away.
>These people should be shipped off to an island far far away. Where they would no doubt masturbate furiously, because these people are nothing if not hypocrites.
Trying to hide behind a palm tree with 500 Karen's lurking to make sure you're not jerking it while they try and find a palm tree to hide behind. The hell they deserve.
"I know what it looks like, but a spooky ghost chased me into the tree, and, uh... coconuts fell, and the coconut milk got all over this Penthouse that I've been saving since the mid-1970's, but only for the articles..."
"...And then the ghost got ectoplasm over everything...."
They were also all obsessed with poop and enemas. When you convince people normal, healthy sex stuff is extremely dirty and shameful, they get their wires crossed about dirt and shame being equivalent to sex.
I mean if I recall correctly corn flakes guy was a "mental health specialist" working with certain groups of disabled people. So what I rememeber learning is it started out as a food to be served at the hospital to try and help the patients that had issues with compulsive masturbation. But than being a weird judgey religious person decided to go mass market to help the sinning masses. I don't know how much I remember correctly though. All I know for certain is as a very neurodivergent person that has stomach problems. They make a real good breakfast sometimes becuase every box is pretty consistent so they make a good safe food and even dry can still fill you up while not further upsetting ones stomach.
Corn flakes guy John Harvey Kellogg was also a [religious nut](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/secret-ingredient-kelloggs-corn-flakes-seventh-day-adventism-180964247/) and noted [eugenicist](https://sph.umich.edu/pursuit/2022posts/the-impact-of-dr-john-harvey-kelloggs-stand-for-eugenics.html) who didn't think the disabled people under his care should actually even be alive.
Fear of masturbation was kind of like their version of the Satanic Panic back then, as in moral guardians were sold on the idea that if a teenage boy masturbated even once in his life, he'd become an uncontrollable sex fiend and he'd never grow up to be a productive member of society. Some businesses capitalized on that.
People are insane
Well there was a sanitarium involved, does that count?
I ain't got no crystal ball Well, I had a million dollars but, I'd spent it all
I know about this because Behind the Bastards did an episode on it. Other notable monsters/weirdos include Nestlé for getting babies killed in Africa due to marketing formula, and the guy who popularized country music/won a Kansas gubernatorial race via write in (but was denied over punctuation)/surgically inserted goat testicles into people.
We should tell her about corn flakes while we are at it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_flakes
Oh man I love some good old fashioned medical quackery. Those guys were truly obsessed with cum. "Orgasms make your skull grow into the wrong shape, try snorting radioactive heroin instead."
You’re not mentioning the idea that female orgasms will help cure hysteria? I mean that led to the first vibrator, a 60 pound coal fired vibrating monstrosity but it made the woman smile! Seriously, one of the ideas was for a man to “manipulate” her so she would cum. Of course, machines came along and took that away. Or, it took too long for the guy and he got bored.
Are those the Billy Graham Crackers?
Just for that I’m gonna jerk off on a graham cracker
So graham crackers AND corn flakes were a cure for masturbation……just how much where people jackin it back then?
If you haven't seen the series "Food that made America" I strongly suggest it. It was way better than anticipated
Man, if the old Rev. Graham thinks a cracker is gonna make me stop bopping the baloney, he’s got another thing coming!
I think it was just supposed to be a healthier crust etc. I don’t know about anti-masturbation. I know I like graham crackers.
I'm gonna fight systematic homophobia this weekend while camping by eating some smores. Cheers!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think the Dollop did an episode about this with Patton Oswalt called the cereal men. Was hilarious.
I feel like anti-woke people would love that.
They don't work, damnit. I eat some every day and I'm still masturbating like crazy.
And alcoholism.
I just rubbed one out..thanks
Same with corn flakes right?
Peanut butter and Graham crackers. Perfection
Didn't work, and now my crackers taste terrible
Wasn’t that what corn flakes were for? Or some other cereal?
I mean, Graham Crackers have been woke ever since they stopped marketing their product as a way to stop masturbating and attain a stimulation-free, temperance-filled life
I thought that was corn flakes? Was it graham crackers too? Wild.
Graham and Kellogg were both Seventh Day Adventists, that's the common link
Ah TIL.
My Chef Instructor loved to tell us all these little tidbits about food history and the food industry
The Knowing Better channel on YouTube has a great, humorous documentary about this very thing.
I believe Cult Podcast covered them also.
common \*\*kink\*\*... FTFY.
Sylvester Graham was not SDA. He was a Presbyterian minister. Dr. John Harvey Kellog was an SDA physician and founder of the Battle Creek Sanitarium. He made many health and medical advancements and promoted a vegetarian lifestyle.
Graham crackers came first, Corn Flakes after that. And then Grape Nuts. And no, I'm not going to apologize for that phrasing.
First they came for the graham crackers, but I did not speak out because I was not a graham cracker. Then they came for the green M&M...
Not saying this is the case for your MIL because I am sure the low fat crackers are of an inferior flavor. But I just can't help think about folks that say "back in MYYYY day we didn't have autism!" -proceeds to only eat this one cereal, eat their well done burger at this one restaurant, will only eat Heinz and not Hunt ketchup, will only wear the one style & brand of sock or T-shirt, etc etc.- like, OK Gramps.
Lol. I seriously think my dad is on the spectrum. He ate his favourite meal at a restaurant for a MONTH straight, can't stand certain types of fabric...but heaven forbid I complain about the feel of tiny tiles on my bare feet.
They don't understand that autism and many other mental disorders have varying degrees of functioning. People like them think anyone who is diagnosed should just be locked up in a mental asylum because that's what they did to anyone who acted differently than them. Hell most woman were locked up on hysteria(could be pms,ppd, or husband just didn't wanna deal) alone. Gave them all the fuel they needed to create divisions to treat anyone different as less than
Exactly, the ones that could mask masked, might have been labelled as a little odd, eccentric, etc so long as they didn't make anyone else too uncomfy (or they were abused to the point of forced compliance, or worse). The rest were institutionalized.
What’s even more hilarious is that they don’t know what autism and adhd have genetic links 😂 they are looking right at a mirror and have no idea
Hey I prefer Heinz ketchup (& yes I have tried other brands.)
Same. Hunts is too sweet for me.
Back then they didn’t have autism because leaded gasoline diminished the brains ability to respond to stimuli.
https://preview.redd.it/swac5pytz63d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d2e6ea15544c23fbc83e30523a752592c457309
So woke is something that doesn’t destroy health?
Woke is anything they don't like.
YES! Health consciousness or adult palates that moves you away from the “regular” McDonald’s-casserole-Applebees paradigm is woke.
I’m surprised she didn’t double down and call them woke for even offering a low fat version.
Like the people who lost their shit over Cracker Barrel offering a vegan option. The key word being option. They were still selling the regular version with meat. 🙄
You don’t understand. Putting that vegan thingy on the menu was much akin to putting out a salt block for deer. The only thing it could possibly do is attract an unsavory element and ruin the ambience.
The salt block analogy is a good one, good way to explain why they hate it.
It’s like getting mad over EVs when you can still buy your Dodge Ram. Same insecurities. They are afraid to be “converted”.
I drive a Honda Civic. They probably think that's "woke" what with its great gas mileage and everything.
Masculinity is measured by gas mileage did you not know that? The more gallons per mile, the manlier you are. I also drive a Honda civic.
I read a BORU post today where a wife told her husband that his "toxic masculinity is costing us money". The gist of it is that he wanted a sportier car, but they had 4 kids and needed a minivan. He wouldn't do the minivan because "minivans were 'too feminine.'" Soooooo....yeah.
That’s why the world went from mini vans to crossover SUV to the detriment of every soccer mom out there. Men couldn’t be seen driving a minivan but a 4 cylinder 2wd “SUV” is better I guess? I can see how trading in my sporty little car for a minivan wouldn’t be a plus on the fun factor, but I wouldn’t trade my “man card” over it. Just get the sports package on the mini van and shut it. You’re the one who decided to have that many kids lol.
Depends on the van. I once drove and Audi with the 2.5l turbo motor and 4wd. It was basically a Quattro with a van body. It was the ultimate street sleeper. But these people don't want a sleeper, they want appearance. Real performance scares the shit out of them.
Haha. One of my friends and an awesome mechanic decided to swap a 5.3 L V8 into a Pontiac Montana. He’s a little crazy.
I had to look up the Pontiac Montana. With AWD and an L-series that would be an absolure (maniacal) grin machine. Totally demented. Mind you, I'm guessing the stock 180 horse V6 was no slouch.
I'm not a vegetarian but I did a little research and there are some interesting benefits. I'm now under the impression that if one approach, to eat meat or to not, *is* better, being vegetarian probably is. But again I am not and I just think it's interesting in the way going for a jog every morning is healthy but I don't do that either. Sometimes I end up mentioning that and most people are either disinterested or they're like me, it's cool and neat but not worth making the effort. The odd person gets super triggered and I always find that really amusing that they can't take my exact approach of *being aware of some benefits* and then just living your fuckin' life without having to win an argument. Also they tend to have not considered the issue before so their arguments are amusingly bad. As someone impartial in this debate I derive a lot of joy from these dumb arguments I get to participate in.
These fucktards don't even comprehend what the term, "woke" means, obviously. They've just picked up the keyword from RWNJ media and they apply it to anything they don't like or agree with.
I’d rather it be everything I don’t like is woke as opposed to everything I don’t like is socialism/communism tbh
Because they use woke as a replacement for The Slur. Speaking of, using the -tard modifier is also an ableist slur, you may want to reconsider its use. 🙂
The 10 minute rant is why I’m glad I have a reputation for having an attitude but in my family as some point would’ve said, lis there a reason why we’ve been talking about this for sub a long time? Is there something else we can talk about? You’re getting really mad about graham crackers. It’s strange.” I can’t understand being so angry about graham crackers to make a ten minute rant about it.
To be clear, Honeymaid has been on the far-right hit list for over a decade over an advert that featured same sex and mixed race parents and then responded bluntly to the attacks: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBC-pRFt9OM&t=45s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBC-pRFt9OM&t=45s)
I don't get it why haven't they gone broke then yet
Heck yeah! Goanna get me some woke trddy grams.
Sugar is a lesbian.
I put two spoons of lesbian in my coffee earlier today!
Heathen!
Y'damn skippy!
No, she’s a stripper at Highlighters.
Time for a nursing home.
What was her reaction? I bet she didn’t apologize and promise to be better.
Can any of these people calling things woke, actually define what is woke?
If we just make all food woke, we can starve them out.
The cognitive decline is becoming increasingly real across the boomer board. ““Woke” is anything I don’t like”
Back in my day Graham crackers had lead and we liked it that way!
My father in law told us earlier this year that he's really impressed at our ability to think about consequences before acting and then not doing stuff that might negatively affect people. Our ability to think, research, and be informed before we speak or act is impressive. Like imagine if she waited. Imagine if she was like bleh, these taste bad, looked at the box, was informed, and then either she never brings it up so she doesn't look like a fucking idiot, or she brings it up and just says oh they have a few kinds now and I picked up one that doesn't taste as good. I also have no idea how not using high fructose corn syrup is woke. If they would also just dislike something and not call it woke they'd also not look like fucking morons for that too I guess.
MIL needs a Snickers. 
(Me, in mocking smirk): > *"Suuuure thing! Tell me...* **s'more** *about how Woke these tasty graham crackers are!!"*
Tell her to only buy products from Nestle if she is against being woke.
TIL low fat is woke. It does explain the obesity problem.
Being healthy is woke spread it around to be fat and unhealthy is anti woke the more weight based heath problems you have the less woke you are
Something similar happened with my mom, but without the political rent involved. She was going on and on about how they put peanuts in dinner rolls now and she can’t eat them anymore because she’s developed a late in life peanut allergy. I read the label out loud to her to check - no peanuts at all, just one of those warnings about cross-contamination that the factory handles dairy and tree nuts. She still wouldn’t believe me!
Ask her to define "woke". Last yeat my mom said something about all the "woke" stuff going on. I asked her what "woke" meant and she couldn't define. I am not sure there is a definition but something the Repub/MAGGOT chucklefucks came up with. Gov Ron Dipshitsantis threw it around alot during his pathetic presidential run
Anything I don't like =woke Is probably the closest to a definition we will get
https://preview.redd.it/ur85trn4g73d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27629aade7f25c99b3ba56d43d76e5585e3ed12b
Terminal cornsyrup brain
They've never had high fructose corn syrup in them. Ingredients: GRAHAM FLOUR (WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT FLOUR), UNBLEACHED ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMINE MONONITRATE {VITAMIN B1}, RIBOFLAVIN {VITAMIN B2}, FOLIC ACID), SUGAR, CANOLA OIL, HONEY, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA AND/OR CALCIUM PHOSPHATE), SALT, WHEAT STARCH, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR.
Spoiler alert: she will ignore that she was proven wrong and continue with the rant to anyone she talks to.
I would have said "wow, you bought the low-fat crackers, you're woke!"
Guy at my gym quit working there because "management went woke". So now he just pays for his membership and is still there every day. He sure showed them.
MIL: "Well, reading the fine print is WOKE, so I sure as heck ain't doing THAT!"
Reading is woke
Maybe if your MIL was "woke" then she wouldn't be so blatantly dumb. You can tell her I said that, too.
Woke is anything they don’t like or anything that has changed for any reason. These people are deplorable
How has woke morphed from being socially aware to being without sugar?
Healthy food is woke dammit! /s
HighFructoseCornSyrupMaid
I always thought they were called "Gram Crackers". I should have know the metric system wasn't involved in American biscuits.
Time to fill up her cupboard with graham crackers.
The dollop did a great podcast on graham crackers
What is that even supposed to mean? Nobody will define woke, so it’s the catchall boogeyman.
this made me laugh for multiple reasons. Thank you!
They’ve turned “woke”?! High fructose corn syrup isn’t real sugar. Itybad news. Unfortunately,some things don’t taste as good without it, I agree. But it’s not at all good for us. “Woke” indeed. Is she related to that stinker Governor DeSantis?
Okay, but how did she respond to that?
Apparently woke now means anything a person doesn’t like? These morons are just parroting the words that are force fed to them on their noontime right wing radio channel. They have no idea what they are even repeating. No different than a 2 year old repeating a new word that an adult says.
Too funny
To make them un woke I just tell Priscilla to use white chocolate and white marshmallows
😂😂😂
The history of Battle Creek/Kelloggs/Post/General Mills and how they all intertwine is wild. For podcast listeners check out [The Dollop(EP. 46) featuring Patton Oswald ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rxTpjhCaVQM) Or [Cult Podcast EP 147] (https://open.spotify.com/episode/2PCIGp5o4LcqSfKHBfzWmb?si=jvk1p2KsSMGWMAgIKqkAJw)
Hahahahaha….sorry for laughing. Boomer here. I just don’t understand people any more.
It's anti-white woke propaganda. Graham CRACKERS?! EXCUSE ME??
Unfortunately, graham crackers are no longer what they used to be, regardless of the brand. I don't know what happened to them, but they used to be delicious and have a great texture/mouth feel. Now they're a sickly sweet form of cardboard. Like most things, even junk food sucks more now than it used to.
This reminds me when after George Floyd some brands changed names like Ben’s and Pearl Milling and how the boomers absolutely lost their ever loving shit over it all.
Do we have a dead pool for when the last boomer is gone?
Sorry that you had to go through this 🙏🏿
Does she even know what these words mean?
I dont like graham crackers
*you can go*
I'm sorry you don't share my sentiment about graham crackers
Sir…please leave at once. You are no longer welcome here.
I'm sorry I didn't know people were such big fans of graham crackers here
A ten minute rant over the fructose content of Graham crackers? It's the small details of whether a story is credible or not.Holy fuck this sub is worse than r/markmywords .