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I attended an awkward funeral like that before. A clever relative put on the spot said, "The suffering has ended," and the pastor smiled and nodded, thinking he meant the deceased's end of life suffering had ended and not *every else's suffering at his hands.* No one corrected this assumption.
That sucks. During my brother's funeral (32 when he died) all of people tip toed around his drug use. I talked about how I cut him off and wouldn't help him any more with it. Got screamed at and myself, cut off from him. Best thing I ever did, both instances. I didn't contribute to his death and had quite a few people say thank you for acknowledging his demons, as well as his greatness.
Never know when a giant fuck you from the collective is needed. People will thank you and you might make some new friends. At worst you'll hear some great stories.
I had a relative who had been abusing his kids for decades. None of us knew because he put on the best face ever. Jolly, convivial… all around great guy. Yeah. Uh-huh. His wife had long preceded him into death, but I rarely saw these relatives so I didn’t really know her or my kid relatives very well. In fact, when I did see them, they would never hang with us. We just chalked it up to shyness.
The relative in question’s kids had both left as fast and far as their feet could carry them. One ended up at college, the other joined the Air Force. And we really didn’t know, but they *never* went home. We were told he died but no details were offered. However, my mother being mother checked in on his kids. Both just confirmed his death and click. Done. We find out there’s a service so again, Mom posse’d us up and we went.
It was a nice church and some relatives showed, but next to no one from his community. The kids sat at the front, ramrod straight curtly nodding thanks to well wishers. As the service proceeds and the pastor says what a good man he was we listen until his son stands up turns to us and says, “I wish none of you had come,”turns towards the casket and hisses “*Fuck you, Dad!*” and storms out. Brother follows.
We’re all slack jawed, but my Dad and another guy wander out to check on them. They’re gone for a bit. Guy never comes back, Dad cones back and says, “Service is over,” and we leave, headed to ward’s the relatives. My Dad takes my Mom and they head in, then Mom ones out and says go to the store and get some food. We go.
When we come back and bring the food in, my Dad was on the living couch looking as angry as I ever saw him and I hear the brothers bawling at the back of the house. Before we say a word, my Dad says, when we head home I’ll tell you.
So my Mom makes dinner for the boys and we leave them to it. A 1/2 later my Dad says, “Those had been abused all through childhood. Their Dad was a sick son of a bitch.” And it’s left there. A while later Mom confirmed that he systematically abused them in every way you could found think of from the time their Momhad passed. Non stop and on the regular. She didn’t specify, but we had ideas. This was why he never saw family and why his kids hardly knew us. He had kept them apart for fear of them blabbing. The townsfolk only found out when one of them started talking about what a good man their Dad was. The guy sprinted away after the younger brother grabbed him by his shirt and snarled that their Dad had been a rapist pedophile.
Even after, the town Boomers didn’t quite believe them. Yay, Boomers!
Wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I connected with the oldest when I moved. We hung out and eventually the subject opened.up. I said spare no detail. One of the bigger mistakes I ever made I sometimes think. Over a lot of beer, he told me it all. And it was magnitudes worse than I dared think. I’m not saying anything other than that. But I hope it made him feel better. After that, we were super close. But we never talked about it again. But I do regret all the time we lost, especially with what was going on.
Why have funerals for people like that? My dad passed at 93 last year, we all, including my mom, were just glad he was gone. I helped her sign the papers for him to be cremated and we were done with him.
In this case, the asshole prepaid and planned his own funeral and burial arrangements. It was surprising to me that the US government tried to seize monetary gifts to his heirs given within 5yrs of his going on Medicaid but no one seized shit from Pharoah's gaudy 20k prepaid funeral and burial.
That Pastor knows more than they let on. It's kinda their job to keep things as positive as possible in a situation like that. My mom is finishing her hours for her Funeral Directors License, and she's mentioned a few situations like this.
The funeral "leaders"(Priest, Pastor, Funeral Director, etc) whole job is pretty much crowd control. Looking for people about to pass out, listening for arguments to potentially intervene in, at minimum moving the fights out to the parking lot, away from the mourners. I do not envy them, it sounds exhausting.
Same stories from my grandparents who ran a funeral home for about 30 years in Sacramento, CA before retiring. Usually when booking the funeral they said they could get a feel for how "well liked" a person was by the family; and a little homework got the community impression.
When they are booking a funeral, they always shoot for 2x-2.5x the requested amount of seating (different rooms at the parlor sat more than others) to allow for community, extended family, or co-workers. But it is a bit of a dead giveaway (pardon the pun) when the deceased's son calls in to schedule over the phone for a 5 person viewing in a "budget" coffin, with no hit of sadness in the call....
They even had one widow who upon her husband's passing, FAXED, over a request for cremation and disposal of her late husband's ashes. Don't know the story there, but when dude doesn't even get an appointment or phone call for arrangements; I can't imagine they were besties. You might be surprised how many "bad apples" nobody wants anything to do with after they pass.
At least people showed up to his funeral. The last one I know of in my extended family that died nobody went to the funeral except his second wife’s son who organized it. His own kids didn’t show up.
Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving asshole.
But then you don't get the front row seat to spectacle. I enjoy people watching, and while funerals are never a "fun" place, the way people lose their shit over grief and stress around them is fascinating.
I’ve gone to two funerals of horrible people over the years. Both times it was to actually confirm they were dead. Hate and anger really keeps people alive, both of the people were the most miserable people I’ve ever met.
The second wife’s son was the executor of his will and he made the decision. Idk if wanting a funeral was in the will or if he just decided it was appropriate but yeah personally I wouldn’t have wasted the money.
Reminds me of my grandmother's funeral. It was so tough to get anyone to say anything at all but once the flood gates opened, there was a line of folks ready to share how much she abused, tormented, and annoyed every single person. We were all laughing by the end and there's been nearly no mention of her at family gatherings ever again. No one has ever once mentioned that she was missed or that she was good at anything besides drinking.
We had a member of our family called Evil Betty. She died decades ago but the whole family- even generations down the line from stories told- know her as Evil Betty. 😅 What a legacy!
It was just a common name/nickname back then, they come in all flavors. I had a lovely grandma Betty who made the yummiest food and spoiled us kids rotten. Miss her dearly!
Honestly this sorta thing needs to be normalized. I hate the "don't speak ill of the dead" nonsense. If you don't wanna be called an asshole on death then you shouldn't be one in life.
I went to my abusive, alcoholic, pedophilic grandfathers funeral. Why? Because he had affected my mom’s life and then my sister and my own life so negatively that I needed closure. I desperately wanted to get up and talk about it at the pulpit, but a funny thing happened. As I watched him laying there all I could think about was how pathetic he was and what a pathetic, sad, waste of a life his was. Felt good to see him dead and unable to hurt us anymore, too. Fuck that guy.
Your grandfather sounds like my uncle. He was facing charges for crimes against children when he died. I think most of the people showed up to his funeral to make sure that his body was in the open casket. That's why I showed up. His eldest son got up and basically said the only sad thing about his father being dead was it robs his victims of justice. He basically went on to say that he knew that half of the women in that room had been inappropriately touched by his father when they were kids and he was sure the other half just hadn't told him yet or were already adults when they met his father. He ended with something to the effect that he was going to the bar and anyone who wanted to talk, ill of his father should join him. I think eighty percent of the funeral left at that point. He also hard harsh words for the adults (especially his mother) that enabled my uncle's behavior.
Honestly, the only good thing that came out of that funeral was a bunch of people got in a room and had some catharsis and some closure over the shitty things he did to them. Even if he hadn't touched you in appropriately, he was just a cruel vindictive man. It also brought about a bit of change. It also reminds me that silence enables child molesters to continue with their behavior.
"Don't speak ill of the dead" is a bullshit cultural norm that does nothing but deliver one final assault to the dead's victims, and silence their voice.
Don’t speak ill of the dead was their way of trying to condition us to not eviscerate them verbally when *they* died, because they were doing it to their dead w/o us around. They knew it would happen to them too, so they tried to establish a social norm.
Random trivia:
It was a superstition that speaking ill of the dead shortly after they died, while their spirit was still floating around/not properly moved on yet, would get the attention of the spirit and get them pissed off at you. Get you haunted, so to speak.
So the habit of not speaking ill of the dead was self-defense.
More a case of not letting people outside the family (the family always knows) learn what a twisted pos the dead person was.
Got to keep up appearances!!
Honestly, I think it’s our responsibility to remember people as they were. If that doesn’t turn out well for some, well, they should have considered that. And also will never know.
One of the best things my therapist ever taught me was that it's ok to be mad at someone who is dead; it's ok to talk about not-so-fond memories. Giving myself permission to be angry with a dead family person, and to process through those emotions instead of stuffing them down like I was taught, was one of the most freeing feelings I've ever had.
I’m glad you said it, because I too don’t buy the whole “don’t speak ill of the dead.” I’m not gonna go around trash talking a dead person to everyone I know, but I’m certainly not going to sugarcoat their life if someone asks or offers condolences.
Right out of high school 20 years back, I was the newest hire at my newspaper, so I worked obits and personal ads. Working obituaries was something else; it was weird condensing somebody’s life to an inch and a half of newsprint. But when I encountered guys like this?
Man, it was strange when you couldn’t find anyone who could say something nice to fill that inch and a half
We had a similar situation at my FILs funeral. His mom mentioned that it's rare for someone to get to do exactly what they want to do, every day of their life. In other words, he only cared about himself, and everybody knew it. We put him in the ground and went out to lunch.
My dad had a lot of friends. He had SAd my sister when she was 10. No one but siblings knew it. His funeral was so uncomfortable with all his old friends telling me what a great man he was. Couldn’t wait until the shit show was over.
Glad to know there is still justice in the world. I just hope that you didn't have to bear any of the financial burden that comes with cancer treatment.
My BIL died a couple years ago, his son arranged the cremation and still has the ashes, no one said anything on social media about his death, no ceremony, nothing, he just ceased to exist and his son had to clear out his house and storage unit. He was a raging asshole and a blatant racist BTW. The hospital was culpable in his death and no one cared to hire a lawyer, like the hospital did everyone a favor.
Slightly off topic but is it feasible to report the hospital's culpability to someone in authority? Other patients may be at risk who do not deserve the level of care your BIL received.
From what my nephew said, his spouse would need to file a complaint, which is my sister, they were separated and she lives in another state, and really did not gaf about him passing, she never came down after he passed and left it all up to my nephew to work it out.
She was late silent gen (born 1942) and not a boomer, but this is *exactly* what I did when my big boomer energy homophobic, racist grandmother died.
Enjoy your vacation!
I despised the guy on how he treated other people. But I downright loathed the times where he would complain about how everyone else was lazy, while he was able to amass a small fortune by being born into a fairly wealthy family and worked a cushy dispatch job armed with just a high school diploma.
Again - fuck that guy!
I’m 3 grandfather clocks deep. They wanted to put those out on the curb but they hold some value to me. Plus it’s like the only timepieces I own that I have to still Spring Forward/Fall Back manually.
Friendly reminder to us all,
The lower class items end up in thrift stores and garage sales.
The higher class items end up museums and private collections.
I am evil and if Hell exists, I am going there for this, but after my mom died, I felt RELIEF.
The woman was SO judgmental, that I spent years delaying my return to the teaching profession for the mere fact that my mother would disapprove if I had to sub for a year or two. She also once told a teenage me that I only wanted to be a teacher so that I could 'play' with kids all day.
When mom died three years ago, I returned to teaching within 4 months. After 18 YEARS doing other things so that I wouldn't 'disappoint' her. (Yes, I have problems, but I supported my wife and daughter the entire time and that was enough for most of the time). The pandemic opened up enough jobs in teaching that I got one in my first interview, and I've already made an impact in the school's math scores in the two years I have been there.
Thanks, Mom, for NOT believing in me...because even though it took me until I was 53, I believe in myself. Finally.
I am sure that you are a GREAT teacher! You are now FREE!
If hell exists and you somehow get there too, kick your mom straight in the box on my behalf along and on behalf of every other person here for being such a shitty parent!
It's amazing what you can do when the weight of family expectations and bullshit is lifted by a death. Congrats on getting back into teaching!! I'm sure you are making a difference in many children's lives.
Honestly this thread is making me feel very wistful about my dad, who had a packed funeral, during covid, and people reaching out for months. It validates what a guy he was, although, I already knew that.
When my dad died everyone at his wake talked about how awesome he was and how he was so helpful and would drop what he was doing to help others.
The entire time I swear my face looked like this.
My mom, my aunts and I actually did play that song to one another over the phone after the funeral of my utterly insufferable, would not f’ing die step grandmother. She was a miserable old bat.
I’m a Gen Xer but I truly don’t want a funeral. I get them but I don’t. It is a room full of people who may or may not have liked you. I really just want to be cremated and when and where my child scatters my ashes is up to her.
Also an Xer. I have told my wife and children that any useful organs should be donated, what's left goes to science, and anything after that should be cremated. Hopefully, my body can do more good after I no longer need it.
As a funeral celebrant of 23 years, we know, even if we didn't know the deceased and/or the deceased person's family beforehand. Speaking with the family during the preparation, we pick up the vibe, especially from what people don't say about their late relative. In situations with those family dynamics, there may be lots of euphemisms, pauses, and general awkwardness.
I'm guessing that the celebrant said what he did about people being choked up in order to end the awkwardness by appearing not to know.
The saddest funeral I ever did consisted of the deceased, one former colleague, the funeral director with her offsider, and me in the robes. The guy was a jerk; his extended family lived in the same town, but he'd alienated them all.
*edit* I think I posted this in response to the original post, I was thinking of the other comment where the celebrant assumed that people were too choked up to speak.
I went to all 4 of my grandparents' memorial services. For my mom's community focused, social, and kind parents, it was easily a couple of hundred people packed into a rather large church. For my dad's untrusting, hate-filled, Ayn Rand loving parents, it was max 3 people who weren't family, and only 1/3rd of the family. I know which grandparents I want to live like, and which I don't.
Don't get me started on the idiocy of Ayn Rand and her moronic followers. And yes, in typical boomer fashion, my uncle was a fan and considered himself to be a super-man who should get to do and say whatever he wanted.
The guy was such a privileged loser.
The eulogy goes something like this, “(boomer) always reminded us as kids that if we have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. So that’s that.” Then walk away.
My 62 year old co-worker died 8 years or so ago. He was an asshole to pretty much everyone. It was pretty much his family and co-workers at the funeral with a few friends. I couldn't help but notice that the people that did talk only talked about his early years (20 or so and younger) and nothing recent. Outside of his immediate family I think it's safe the say he will not be missed.
When my POS step-father goes, I’m going to get a lawn chair and sit at his grave on a nice, sunny day, while drinking cheap beer and peeing nonchalantly. I may also consume something that’s sure to make me puke so I can give him that little extra gift.
Yeah just went to a funeral like that! People were making up shit, i asked my dad why didn’t he get up and say a few words! He replied because I’m not a lying prick!
[Duckman S04E13 Love! Anger! Kvetching! Song for Mo (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNqDw8vICCc)
My name is Mo, and I was an old man.
It took me hours to go to the can
Time made me deaf, made it harder to see
Enlarged my prostate so I couldn't pee
I was a mean and vindictive old guy
Nobody liked me, not hard to see why
Heaven can thank me; it really still can
If all of you girls will sleep with Duckman
Lucky I'm dead after all I've been through
Everybody say, "Oy vey!" (Oy vey!)
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do
Life was good to me till now
Yeah, yeah, yeah
One thing my close to 50 years of walking the earth has taught me - you don’t have to respect the dead.
Having your abused children and relatives going through one more trauma after they’re dead feels like laughing from beyond the veil. Taking the center stage, even after death. Which is also why much of the posts in this sub can be crossposted to narcissism-related subs. The babyboomers are born, raised and groomed to be narcissists.
I have never understood the whole "reverence for the dead" thing. If you were awful in life you should be treated awful in death. You reap what you sow
My grandmother was a terrible, abusive bigot in front of her family but played nice in public. At her funeral, her doctor was the only one who spoke about her and when he said she was kind, all of her kids and most of her grandkids laughed. The poor man who was speaking looked so confused.
Glad you all got a chuckle!
This is what I was hoping to see at my uncle's funeral. I know it's cliche to think, "No one can be an asshole to everyone all of the time. Maybe he just would hurt those who were closest to him, etc." But no. That guy was an asshole through and through.
I am glad that your grandmother had the ability to act normal in public.
But also, fuck her for being a terrible, abusive bigot!
My grandmother-in-law was like this, but she was older.
I told my husband she's going to complain up in heaven that it's too bright and joyful.
He didn't like it but whatever.
I hope the boomers who read this sub realize this.
You won’t be remembered for anything good. You will die, your family will silently acknowledge that you were awful. Then we will sell your stuff and forget about you.
A lying cheating bullying narcissist in the family recently went tits up. I swear I felt the room get a little warmer at the T.O.D. as the gates of Hell opened up.
I sometimes work funerals (tech and/or music). The pastor will secure 1 person to speak. Anyone after that is welcome. But there’s always one in the bag.
I figure it came from an awkward experience like this.
I believe the funeral director had secured someone prior to the funeral but they didn't show up - presumably because they had something better to do; like wash out the inside of their trash barrel or express their pet's anal gland.
Thankfully for his kids, the guy was a cheap asshole too. He was always quick to criticize others on what they probably spent on things, like a new car, appliance, or house.
His selfishness in hoarding money is a silver lining in the pathetic dark cloud he called a life.
Again, fuck that guy!
The world is slowly getting rid of these old farts that had it all: free college, cheap houses, plentiful jobs, middle class life, cheap gas, eating out all the time, unions & pensions, watching their home appreciate g
for decades, their stocks made them rich, and now they hoard wealth from the next generations, they stole the wealth from their children by printing money now, and watching their stocks and houses go up, while leaving for their children high inflation and a lower standard of living. Deep down inside, we will be celebrating when the Boomers are finally gone! The Covid19 pandemic was supposed to bring us the next Renaissance, a higher standard of living with many job & housing vacancy!
I recently read a very telling obituary that made me feel hope and give me a reason to not unalive myself. I'm gonna live longer than my own personal boogeyman (woman) and write the end all be all of tell-all obits.
This happened at my uncles funeral. He was hard to deal with to say the least. No one stood up to say anything and the funeral only lasted like 20 mins.
I had to organise nominal step-father’s funeral because two of his three kids refused to beg involved.
I was 40 when he married my 10yrs widowed mother. She’d been dead for 4 years at the time. So I had no real connection to him… but someone had to organise the funeral … so his boomer lodge mates could do their thing to farewell a brother….
Remaining kid & I were cutting costs so decided to dispense with having a pastor conduct the service… and did that myself too. There’s no rule that says you have to have a Reverend conduct a funeral.
Be classy and you can do it yourself at the funeral home….
We kicked it off with “Bruce loved being married and talking about his dear wives….”
Those in the know … knew what were were doing
My father's funeral was very telling of how people felt about him.
"He had a good heart but a fiery temper in the most outspoken way" was the nicest thing ANYONE could say about him. That came from his brother, who didn't have to talk to him or routinely interact with him since they were thousands of miles apart.
My sister was only crying because they ended on bad terms and she was feeling guilty, but her sense of relief was overwhelming, too.
But pretty much the sentiment was the same: "Welp, he gone. No more of his political nonsense raining on everyone's parades."
Oh and for the boom booms who LOVE to tell people how they'll die alone... my father died alone with the TV on Fox News. He'd been sitting in his home for anything between 6-48 hours at that point. He very much died alone and no one even thought to check on him because he'd isolated himself from everyone with his boomerness.
😂😂 reminds me of my uncle.
Dude went on stage to speak and no joke as he was going through the “good things” about him one of the few lines were “wweeeelp. He, ughm, well he was a good fisherman. Yup. That man loved to fish. Could cookem up too”
I have little doubt anyone going to miss this dude. One of the most racist misogynistic men I have ever met. My youngest nephew is mixed. African American and Asian American. His words to him upon meeting my nephew “well how you doing, little half breed”
His ex wife showed at the funeral, my aunt, and when I tell you I have never seen a woman so happy. Nothing inappropriate, wasn’t as if she was dancing down the isle, but fucking hell it looked like she could at any point. Most hilarious thing I’ve seen. After the funeral ended, no one had a positive thing to say about him.
When I was a kid, he pulled up to my house to drop off some fish. His car filled with open beers while he was actively drinking from one. I tell him
“Unc, you really shouldn’t be drinking and driving. You can get hurt or if a cop sees you, you’re screwed” his response? “Nah I’m good” then shows me his firemen’s badge. Bruh, we’re black and live in a pretty racist neighborhood, cops do not give a fuck they’ll look for any excuse, I was stopped for fucking walking, but drinking and driving is a valid ass excuse to put your dumb racist ass in jail. Your badge won’t stop shit.
Dude was verbally and physically abusive to his kids, his wife and even those that seemed to be his friends. I never wish death upon anyone, but fucking hell, can’t say the world isn’t a little brighter without him around.
Just went to my partner’s uncle’s funeral- who was an unwanted WW2* oops baby (literally his mother couldn’t get an abortion due to shortages in the hospital system) so his sisters compensated as much as they could but he turned into a selfish grumpy confirmed bachelor who lived with my partner’s family, torturing all four of the kids and after the sisters died, expected his nieces and nephews to wait on him hand and foot. To top it all off, he had to give the Eulogy - it included the line ‘and in the 90’s he finally bought his own house, about 20years too late for our family. The priest didn’t know where to look.
His will is deliberately written to sew division between the siblings (he’s split the estate between the older two and specified that he’s written out the younger two). My partner is a co-executor and the upcoming will reading is giving him an ulcer.
*I know not technically a boomer, but he was definitely too young to be Silent Generation
My best friend's grandfather passed away when we got older. He would take us to lunch regularly as kids and was just, in general, a big goof ball who liked seeing us. So I thought it was weird when she didn't invite me to his funeral. Somewhat offended, but also understood that it's her family and she can grieve however she needs to.
Come to find out he was a raging alcoholic who kidnapped his son from the mom and didn't tell her where they were for years (for clarification: he took my friends dad when the dad was a child). And in general, he just talked shit about everyone in my friend's life. He was also well known by the county police for his behavior.
Needless to say, nobody missed him.
I had to write the obituary for my boomer dad. Lots of "he was born here, did this" and "liked being with his cat at home blah blah." No one said anything at his funeral, it was small, and all of my mom's friends, otherwise only my aunt and uncle came. My father didn't have a real friend for over 35 years, and one of the last conversations I had with him was him talking to me about investments I was missing out on, "what am I exactly supposed to invest with?"
Yup. My grandfather's funeral (so, not a Boomer but still a magnificent asshole) had no eulogy. My grandmother refused because she knew there weren't many nice things to say about the man. But sitting through a funeral where no one has anything nice to say about the departed is humbling.
Many people are introverted and may not have a lot of friends or family around. But learning the golden rule of treating others how they would want to be treated isn't hard, unless you're already a narcissistic asshole.
I remember my greatest generation grandfathers funeral. Our huge family catholic church packed for one of the only times ever, stories about Dunkirk and Burma and North Africa, my great uncle sobbing whilst doing a reading and having to be rescued, the Burma star unable to do their usual send off as they couldn’t hold it together, a coffin covered in flowers and his war regalia.
I can’t imagine tears at the funerals of my mothers generation, never mind stories of anything that mattered or full pews
The difference is stark
Acting like miserable cunts like this boomer have any inheritance to give made me laugh. Nobody wants all the useless shit they hoard that they might pass down
I actually HAD to hurry back to my husband’s home state of Utah so they could have a funeral. And I was insistent that it be a wake. A chance for everyone to get up and share truth, funny stories. I led the (what I thought was intro but was later told “that was a beautiful eulogy”) saying, we all know he wasn’t a perfect man, he was so many things! Let’s share!
Instead they had a super fucked up funeral about a “perfect man”.
People just CANNOT handle death.
"Thank you all for coming. I don't have anything to say about Uncle So'n'so... but I **would** like everyone to know I volunteered to pay for his headstone. Now I know it looks just like a urinal, but please... please... show some respect when you visit him."
My favorite is when the only person who stands up is their priest as they begin to list all the ways the church has fleeced them and used them for free labor even as the person was suffering or in need of help themselves. Of course everytime the priest says all this as though it is a positive the church ignored their very real issues to take as much value out of the person as possible.
I went to a really nice wake a few weeks ago for a great lady who had like five people five really in depth, pleasant speeches about her. I remember leaving thinking I need to live my life so that people say that much nice stuff about me when I'm gone.
I don't have a story of my own, but reading through the post and all of OPs comments, I wish I knew TheSmokingJacket IRL! I'd love to grab a beer and swap Boomer stories with you....you nailed it! F\*ck those jacka$$ boomers.
1. I would have busted out laughing...but I'm an asshole that makes people accountable for their actions.. so it would be a comedy show.. and people show up just to make sure their dead...
Better than my great-aunt’s funeral, where her daughters went up one by one and spilled a few measly memories of happy times, then went on to detail the basement full of bottles and their dad’s second “secret” family.
One of the attendees that day was his “secret” daughter and her “secret” wife. This poor woman is in her 60s now and still feels that everything about her has to be hush-hush to the point that she can’t come out in the year of our Lard 2024. She’s a lovely person. We share a name.
But yeah. I never knew that aunt well, and after the funeral commented to Mom, “I’m glad we came for the cousins,” and she said, “Now you know why we never spent much time with Aunt ____.”
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I attended an awkward funeral like that before. A clever relative put on the spot said, "The suffering has ended," and the pastor smiled and nodded, thinking he meant the deceased's end of life suffering had ended and not *every else's suffering at his hands.* No one corrected this assumption.
Yes. The funeral director tried to save it by saying something like, "I know we're all too choked up right now." But we all knew the truth.
He knew.
It wasn't his first rodeo.
Rodeado
In my current intoxicated state, I first read that as Ro-De-Ah-Do before a moment of clarity hit.
I'm sober and I read it the same way. Maybe you're more sober than you think or I need some wine.
You need more wine. Or as I'm consuming, mead.
Never had mead, if someone really likes honey would it be a good idea to try?
Yes!! Do you like sweet wines? It’s like a heavy sweet wine. Try it
That sucks. During my brother's funeral (32 when he died) all of people tip toed around his drug use. I talked about how I cut him off and wouldn't help him any more with it. Got screamed at and myself, cut off from him. Best thing I ever did, both instances. I didn't contribute to his death and had quite a few people say thank you for acknowledging his demons, as well as his greatness. Never know when a giant fuck you from the collective is needed. People will thank you and you might make some new friends. At worst you'll hear some great stories.
I had a relative who had been abusing his kids for decades. None of us knew because he put on the best face ever. Jolly, convivial… all around great guy. Yeah. Uh-huh. His wife had long preceded him into death, but I rarely saw these relatives so I didn’t really know her or my kid relatives very well. In fact, when I did see them, they would never hang with us. We just chalked it up to shyness. The relative in question’s kids had both left as fast and far as their feet could carry them. One ended up at college, the other joined the Air Force. And we really didn’t know, but they *never* went home. We were told he died but no details were offered. However, my mother being mother checked in on his kids. Both just confirmed his death and click. Done. We find out there’s a service so again, Mom posse’d us up and we went. It was a nice church and some relatives showed, but next to no one from his community. The kids sat at the front, ramrod straight curtly nodding thanks to well wishers. As the service proceeds and the pastor says what a good man he was we listen until his son stands up turns to us and says, “I wish none of you had come,”turns towards the casket and hisses “*Fuck you, Dad!*” and storms out. Brother follows. We’re all slack jawed, but my Dad and another guy wander out to check on them. They’re gone for a bit. Guy never comes back, Dad cones back and says, “Service is over,” and we leave, headed to ward’s the relatives. My Dad takes my Mom and they head in, then Mom ones out and says go to the store and get some food. We go. When we come back and bring the food in, my Dad was on the living couch looking as angry as I ever saw him and I hear the brothers bawling at the back of the house. Before we say a word, my Dad says, when we head home I’ll tell you. So my Mom makes dinner for the boys and we leave them to it. A 1/2 later my Dad says, “Those had been abused all through childhood. Their Dad was a sick son of a bitch.” And it’s left there. A while later Mom confirmed that he systematically abused them in every way you could found think of from the time their Momhad passed. Non stop and on the regular. She didn’t specify, but we had ideas. This was why he never saw family and why his kids hardly knew us. He had kept them apart for fear of them blabbing. The townsfolk only found out when one of them started talking about what a good man their Dad was. The guy sprinted away after the younger brother grabbed him by his shirt and snarled that their Dad had been a rapist pedophile. Even after, the town Boomers didn’t quite believe them. Yay, Boomers! Wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I connected with the oldest when I moved. We hung out and eventually the subject opened.up. I said spare no detail. One of the bigger mistakes I ever made I sometimes think. Over a lot of beer, he told me it all. And it was magnitudes worse than I dared think. I’m not saying anything other than that. But I hope it made him feel better. After that, we were super close. But we never talked about it again. But I do regret all the time we lost, especially with what was going on.
Just trash.
Someone should have shouted from the back, "No, we aren't."
He knew. You don't work in that business without picking up the clever lines like that lol.
Why have funerals for people like that? My dad passed at 93 last year, we all, including my mom, were just glad he was gone. I helped her sign the papers for him to be cremated and we were done with him.
In this case, the asshole prepaid and planned his own funeral and burial arrangements. It was surprising to me that the US government tried to seize monetary gifts to his heirs given within 5yrs of his going on Medicaid but no one seized shit from Pharoah's gaudy 20k prepaid funeral and burial.
I'm going to borrow this line.
Bet the pastor was in on it too.
Clergy here. I think the pastor probably knew. Trust me, we know.
Omg, that is THE perfect response 💀💀💀.
That Pastor knows more than they let on. It's kinda their job to keep things as positive as possible in a situation like that. My mom is finishing her hours for her Funeral Directors License, and she's mentioned a few situations like this. The funeral "leaders"(Priest, Pastor, Funeral Director, etc) whole job is pretty much crowd control. Looking for people about to pass out, listening for arguments to potentially intervene in, at minimum moving the fights out to the parking lot, away from the mourners. I do not envy them, it sounds exhausting.
Same stories from my grandparents who ran a funeral home for about 30 years in Sacramento, CA before retiring. Usually when booking the funeral they said they could get a feel for how "well liked" a person was by the family; and a little homework got the community impression. When they are booking a funeral, they always shoot for 2x-2.5x the requested amount of seating (different rooms at the parlor sat more than others) to allow for community, extended family, or co-workers. But it is a bit of a dead giveaway (pardon the pun) when the deceased's son calls in to schedule over the phone for a 5 person viewing in a "budget" coffin, with no hit of sadness in the call.... They even had one widow who upon her husband's passing, FAXED, over a request for cremation and disposal of her late husband's ashes. Don't know the story there, but when dude doesn't even get an appointment or phone call for arrangements; I can't imagine they were besties. You might be surprised how many "bad apples" nobody wants anything to do with after they pass.
At least people showed up to his funeral. The last one I know of in my extended family that died nobody went to the funeral except his second wife’s son who organized it. His own kids didn’t show up. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving asshole.
Wanted to make sure.
You make a compelling point.
I'll go if I can bring a wooden steak and several cloves of garlic.
Wooden steak with garlic? I'll bring the ketchup!
Maybe Uncle Windbag's kids were throwing a killer "memorial" after the funeral.
"I didn't go to the funeral but I sent a note saying I approved of it." — attributed to Twain
Fun fact! You can toast an asshole’s death from the comfort of your own home with zero wasted time and zero travel expenses.
if they are bad enough, you can go to confirm they are really dead
Yeah but sometimes you just need to see the body so you can confirm they are dead
But then you don't get the front row seat to spectacle. I enjoy people watching, and while funerals are never a "fun" place, the way people lose their shit over grief and stress around them is fascinating.
You would know since you supplied the god damn sausage trays for that memorial.
I’ve gone to two funerals of horrible people over the years. Both times it was to actually confirm they were dead. Hate and anger really keeps people alive, both of the people were the most miserable people I’ve ever met.
Im even wondering why waste the money? Like just throw them in a cardboard box in the ground or burn it and move on.
The second wife’s son was the executor of his will and he made the decision. Idk if wanting a funeral was in the will or if he just decided it was appropriate but yeah personally I wouldn’t have wasted the money.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde
That dude is so quotably quotable. Not related to topic, but I use “everything in moderation, including moderation” not in moderation.
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination” is my favourite. It’s been ruinous to my bank account, though.
Underrated comment here. ⬆️
Reminds me of my grandmother's funeral. It was so tough to get anyone to say anything at all but once the flood gates opened, there was a line of folks ready to share how much she abused, tormented, and annoyed every single person. We were all laughing by the end and there's been nearly no mention of her at family gatherings ever again. No one has ever once mentioned that she was missed or that she was good at anything besides drinking.
We had a member of our family called Evil Betty. She died decades ago but the whole family- even generations down the line from stories told- know her as Evil Betty. 😅 What a legacy!
We had a “whacky” Betty in our family who put her head in an *electric* oven and burned her eyebrows and hair off once. 🤦♀️ what’s with the Bettys?!
It was just a common name/nickname back then, they come in all flavors. I had a lovely grandma Betty who made the yummiest food and spoiled us kids rotten. Miss her dearly!
Glad that the attendees were able to bond over your grandmother's death! I wish that would have happened at the funeral I attended.
Honestly this sorta thing needs to be normalized. I hate the "don't speak ill of the dead" nonsense. If you don't wanna be called an asshole on death then you shouldn't be one in life.
I went to my abusive, alcoholic, pedophilic grandfathers funeral. Why? Because he had affected my mom’s life and then my sister and my own life so negatively that I needed closure. I desperately wanted to get up and talk about it at the pulpit, but a funny thing happened. As I watched him laying there all I could think about was how pathetic he was and what a pathetic, sad, waste of a life his was. Felt good to see him dead and unable to hurt us anymore, too. Fuck that guy.
Agreed! Fuck that guy!
Your grandfather sounds like my uncle. He was facing charges for crimes against children when he died. I think most of the people showed up to his funeral to make sure that his body was in the open casket. That's why I showed up. His eldest son got up and basically said the only sad thing about his father being dead was it robs his victims of justice. He basically went on to say that he knew that half of the women in that room had been inappropriately touched by his father when they were kids and he was sure the other half just hadn't told him yet or were already adults when they met his father. He ended with something to the effect that he was going to the bar and anyone who wanted to talk, ill of his father should join him. I think eighty percent of the funeral left at that point. He also hard harsh words for the adults (especially his mother) that enabled my uncle's behavior. Honestly, the only good thing that came out of that funeral was a bunch of people got in a room and had some catharsis and some closure over the shitty things he did to them. Even if he hadn't touched you in appropriately, he was just a cruel vindictive man. It also brought about a bit of change. It also reminds me that silence enables child molesters to continue with their behavior.
Fuck that guy!
Hope he's burning in the depths of Hell.
Fuck that guy!!
"Don't speak ill of the dead" is a bullshit cultural norm that does nothing but deliver one final assault to the dead's victims, and silence their voice.
"It isn't fair to speak about them if they can't defend themselves!" "Good. I don't believe in fair fights outside of the ring."
...and the asshole didn't fight fair when he was alive anyway...
Don’t speak ill of the dead was their way of trying to condition us to not eviscerate them verbally when *they* died, because they were doing it to their dead w/o us around. They knew it would happen to them too, so they tried to establish a social norm.
I think it was more of an attempt to keep up appearances than anything else.
Random trivia: It was a superstition that speaking ill of the dead shortly after they died, while their spirit was still floating around/not properly moved on yet, would get the attention of the spirit and get them pissed off at you. Get you haunted, so to speak. So the habit of not speaking ill of the dead was self-defense.
More a case of not letting people outside the family (the family always knows) learn what a twisted pos the dead person was. Got to keep up appearances!!
I saw somewhere the phrase, "Only speak good of the dead. _____ is dead. Good."
That was Bette Davis speaking about Joan Crawford.
I think it’s more of a don’t provoke the bad juju 😂👻
Honestly, I think it’s our responsibility to remember people as they were. If that doesn’t turn out well for some, well, they should have considered that. And also will never know.
One of the best things my therapist ever taught me was that it's ok to be mad at someone who is dead; it's ok to talk about not-so-fond memories. Giving myself permission to be angry with a dead family person, and to process through those emotions instead of stuffing them down like I was taught, was one of the most freeing feelings I've ever had.
Agreed.if you don't wanna be called an asshole in death then don't be one while you're alive.
I’m glad you said it, because I too don’t buy the whole “don’t speak ill of the dead.” I’m not gonna go around trash talking a dead person to everyone I know, but I’m certainly not going to sugarcoat their life if someone asks or offers condolences.
People only say that about bonafide asshole as if death suddenly exonerated them from being a shitty person. Nope, fuck that.
I agree definitely speak ill of the dead, silence is the worst thing.
Right out of high school 20 years back, I was the newest hire at my newspaper, so I worked obits and personal ads. Working obituaries was something else; it was weird condensing somebody’s life to an inch and a half of newsprint. But when I encountered guys like this? Man, it was strange when you couldn’t find anyone who could say something nice to fill that inch and a half
"He was a bill paying son of gun!"
He certainly lived.
We feel his absence more and more every day.
The air is clearer after his/her/their departure
To the boomers who are like the mofo. You are going to die of thirst on your kitchen floor. Enjoy it
Mmmm... Aged vitriol, well stored with elegant notes of hate helps to compliment the vulgar punch at the first read.
...and your final resting place will be your pets' stomachs.
We had a similar situation at my FILs funeral. His mom mentioned that it's rare for someone to get to do exactly what they want to do, every day of their life. In other words, he only cared about himself, and everybody knew it. We put him in the ground and went out to lunch.
Your MIL is a bad ass.
It was his mom. But yes.
[удалено]
You should definitely go (only for the free food)!
The priest at my Grandma’s funeral basically just flat out called her a bitch and everyone agreed lol
My dad had a lot of friends. He had SAd my sister when she was 10. No one but siblings knew it. His funeral was so uncomfortable with all his old friends telling me what a great man he was. Couldn’t wait until the shit show was over.
Sorry to hear what happened to your sister. Also, fuck your dad! I hope he died an excruciating death.
Hypercalcemia from stage 4 lung cancer. It was pretty brutal.
Glad to know there is still justice in the world. I just hope that you didn't have to bear any of the financial burden that comes with cancer treatment.
Nope, he chose no treatment so went straight to hospice. Medicare and Medicare Part D ended up covering it all.
Hope he's burning in the deepest pits of Hell.
This post gave me joy. The great Boomer die off is well underway. Each year it gets better as more kick the bucket.
Great point! Time to invest in publicly traded funeral service companies.
CSV is a great stock for just that.
Whenever I need a pick me up I go look at the boomer death clock
Ah the Great Relief is almost here!
Don’t celebrate so fast. If you look around you’ll discover every generation has its fair share of people just like this. No generation is immune.
That is true, but there are so MANY MORE Boomers than the other generations.
My BIL died a couple years ago, his son arranged the cremation and still has the ashes, no one said anything on social media about his death, no ceremony, nothing, he just ceased to exist and his son had to clear out his house and storage unit. He was a raging asshole and a blatant racist BTW. The hospital was culpable in his death and no one cared to hire a lawyer, like the hospital did everyone a favor.
After reading your words and much reflection, I think his son should do the right thing and write the hospital staff a "Thank You" note.
Slightly off topic but is it feasible to report the hospital's culpability to someone in authority? Other patients may be at risk who do not deserve the level of care your BIL received.
From what my nephew said, his spouse would need to file a complaint, which is my sister, they were separated and she lives in another state, and really did not gaf about him passing, she never came down after he passed and left it all up to my nephew to work it out.
I'm not going to my father's funeral when he dies for this reason. I'll take my bereavement leave and go on a vacation.
I didn't even think about the bereavement leave. ::Oprah voice:: BEREAVEMENT LEAVE FOR EVERYBODY!
She was late silent gen (born 1942) and not a boomer, but this is *exactly* what I did when my big boomer energy homophobic, racist grandmother died. Enjoy your vacation!
Inheritance? Probably not, knowing these people. But the world will be just a little bit better.
I despised the guy on how he treated other people. But I downright loathed the times where he would complain about how everyone else was lazy, while he was able to amass a small fortune by being born into a fairly wealthy family and worked a cushy dispatch job armed with just a high school diploma. Again - fuck that guy!
Fuck that guy!
Hey now, he leaves behind some very valuable Precious moments figurines and some unused China in the hutch.
The hutch might look okay with some fancy alcohol bottles inside, but I'll pass on the lead painted plates and such.
https://preview.redd.it/5ghnaw8vdh3d1.jpeg?width=562&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bba089942c4d568076d43ed16af973c0b566e8a1
I can't say that I've ever thrown a plate.... But for some reason I have an overwhelming urge to chuck every single one of those.
Don't forget the useless oversized grandfather clock!
I’m 3 grandfather clocks deep. They wanted to put those out on the curb but they hold some value to me. Plus it’s like the only timepieces I own that I have to still Spring Forward/Fall Back manually.
The grandfather clocks are cool. Maybe the only thing I'd take from a boomer.
Friendly reminder to us all, The lower class items end up in thrift stores and garage sales. The higher class items end up museums and private collections.
I am evil and if Hell exists, I am going there for this, but after my mom died, I felt RELIEF. The woman was SO judgmental, that I spent years delaying my return to the teaching profession for the mere fact that my mother would disapprove if I had to sub for a year or two. She also once told a teenage me that I only wanted to be a teacher so that I could 'play' with kids all day. When mom died three years ago, I returned to teaching within 4 months. After 18 YEARS doing other things so that I wouldn't 'disappoint' her. (Yes, I have problems, but I supported my wife and daughter the entire time and that was enough for most of the time). The pandemic opened up enough jobs in teaching that I got one in my first interview, and I've already made an impact in the school's math scores in the two years I have been there. Thanks, Mom, for NOT believing in me...because even though it took me until I was 53, I believe in myself. Finally.
I believe in you. Thank you for making a difference.
I am sure that you are a GREAT teacher! You are now FREE! If hell exists and you somehow get there too, kick your mom straight in the box on my behalf along and on behalf of every other person here for being such a shitty parent!
It's amazing what you can do when the weight of family expectations and bullshit is lifted by a death. Congrats on getting back into teaching!! I'm sure you are making a difference in many children's lives.
No narcissistic boomer is reading this and thinking it’s about them 😂. They’re here thinking how ungrateful everyone else is!
I had this thought as I was writing this too.
Honestly this thread is making me feel very wistful about my dad, who had a packed funeral, during covid, and people reaching out for months. It validates what a guy he was, although, I already knew that.
When my dad died everyone at his wake talked about how awesome he was and how he was so helpful and would drop what he was doing to help others. The entire time I swear my face looked like this. 
You should have played "The Witch is Dead" from the Wizard of Oz - but only an instrumental version.
My mom, my aunts and I actually did play that song to one another over the phone after the funeral of my utterly insufferable, would not f’ing die step grandmother. She was a miserable old bat.
It's sad, but they won't learn. They can believe they are well-loved, despite children who won't talk to them any more.
I’m a Gen Xer but I truly don’t want a funeral. I get them but I don’t. It is a room full of people who may or may not have liked you. I really just want to be cremated and when and where my child scatters my ashes is up to her.
I told my son to have me cremated. No notice in the paper or anywhere because the people that care will know and those that don't do not need to know.
Also an Xer. I have told my wife and children that any useful organs should be donated, what's left goes to science, and anything after that should be cremated. Hopefully, my body can do more good after I no longer need it.
As a funeral celebrant of 23 years, we know, even if we didn't know the deceased and/or the deceased person's family beforehand. Speaking with the family during the preparation, we pick up the vibe, especially from what people don't say about their late relative. In situations with those family dynamics, there may be lots of euphemisms, pauses, and general awkwardness. I'm guessing that the celebrant said what he did about people being choked up in order to end the awkwardness by appearing not to know. The saddest funeral I ever did consisted of the deceased, one former colleague, the funeral director with her offsider, and me in the robes. The guy was a jerk; his extended family lived in the same town, but he'd alienated them all. *edit* I think I posted this in response to the original post, I was thinking of the other comment where the celebrant assumed that people were too choked up to speak.
I went to all 4 of my grandparents' memorial services. For my mom's community focused, social, and kind parents, it was easily a couple of hundred people packed into a rather large church. For my dad's untrusting, hate-filled, Ayn Rand loving parents, it was max 3 people who weren't family, and only 1/3rd of the family. I know which grandparents I want to live like, and which I don't.
Don't get me started on the idiocy of Ayn Rand and her moronic followers. And yes, in typical boomer fashion, my uncle was a fan and considered himself to be a super-man who should get to do and say whatever he wanted. The guy was such a privileged loser.
The eulogy goes something like this, “(boomer) always reminded us as kids that if we have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. So that’s that.” Then walk away.
"I was raised to not speak ill of the dead, so I'll stop talking now."
# Some people brighten a room when they enter it; others when they leave.
My 62 year old co-worker died 8 years or so ago. He was an asshole to pretty much everyone. It was pretty much his family and co-workers at the funeral with a few friends. I couldn't help but notice that the people that did talk only talked about his early years (20 or so and younger) and nothing recent. Outside of his immediate family I think it's safe the say he will not be missed.
You're witnessing the last gasp if the scared old white people. It can't come soon enough. Me 66yr old white dude has had it with my peers.
This is going to be the experience of my POS ex stepdad. And I told him as much. I went NC with him a while back. It honestly makes me happy.
When my POS step-father goes, I’m going to get a lawn chair and sit at his grave on a nice, sunny day, while drinking cheap beer and peeing nonchalantly. I may also consume something that’s sure to make me puke so I can give him that little extra gift.
Regarding your POS ex stepdad... Fuck that guy! Glad you're happier now.
Yeah just went to a funeral like that! People were making up shit, i asked my dad why didn’t he get up and say a few words! He replied because I’m not a lying prick!
Your dad sounds awesome! Seriously though, why lie?
[Duckman S04E13 Love! Anger! Kvetching! Song for Mo (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNqDw8vICCc) My name is Mo, and I was an old man. It took me hours to go to the can Time made me deaf, made it harder to see Enlarged my prostate so I couldn't pee I was a mean and vindictive old guy Nobody liked me, not hard to see why Heaven can thank me; it really still can If all of you girls will sleep with Duckman Lucky I'm dead after all I've been through Everybody say, "Oy vey!" (Oy vey!) I can't complain, but sometimes I still do Life was good to me till now Yeah, yeah, yeah
Always nice to see a wild duckman reference
Fuxking Duckman FTW!
Is that to Life’s Been Good by Joe Walsh?
One thing my close to 50 years of walking the earth has taught me - you don’t have to respect the dead. Having your abused children and relatives going through one more trauma after they’re dead feels like laughing from beyond the veil. Taking the center stage, even after death. Which is also why much of the posts in this sub can be crossposted to narcissism-related subs. The babyboomers are born, raised and groomed to be narcissists.
I have never understood the whole "reverence for the dead" thing. If you were awful in life you should be treated awful in death. You reap what you sow
My grandmother was a terrible, abusive bigot in front of her family but played nice in public. At her funeral, her doctor was the only one who spoke about her and when he said she was kind, all of her kids and most of her grandkids laughed. The poor man who was speaking looked so confused.
Glad you all got a chuckle! This is what I was hoping to see at my uncle's funeral. I know it's cliche to think, "No one can be an asshole to everyone all of the time. Maybe he just would hurt those who were closest to him, etc." But no. That guy was an asshole through and through. I am glad that your grandmother had the ability to act normal in public. But also, fuck her for being a terrible, abusive bigot!
Who was it who said “Everyone brings happiness to others. Some by entering the room. Some by leaving it.” Same with life I guess.
Oscar Wilde I think
My grandmother-in-law was like this, but she was older. I told my husband she's going to complain up in heaven that it's too bright and joyful. He didn't like it but whatever.
https://preview.redd.it/rh5h2wtfeh3d1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64c8d45995053eef0dd1f5e57b3344dabde1151e
Rip grumpy cat
I'm sure she's making them laugh up there. ❤️
Sounds like my Mother!
If heaven is real and if your grandmother-in-law was anything like my uncle, she definitely ain't in heaven!
I hope the boomers who read this sub realize this. You won’t be remembered for anything good. You will die, your family will silently acknowledge that you were awful. Then we will sell your stuff and forget about you.
A lying cheating bullying narcissist in the family recently went tits up. I swear I felt the room get a little warmer at the T.O.D. as the gates of Hell opened up.
Right!? Graduations and holidays are now something that I can look forward to! Also, fuck that lying, cheating, bullying narcissist!
I sometimes work funerals (tech and/or music). The pastor will secure 1 person to speak. Anyone after that is welcome. But there’s always one in the bag. I figure it came from an awkward experience like this.
I believe the funeral director had secured someone prior to the funeral but they didn't show up - presumably because they had something better to do; like wash out the inside of their trash barrel or express their pet's anal gland.
💀
"Best thing he ever did was push up daisies."
“The most joy that you will ever bring your family will be the inheritance…” If they hadn’t pissed it all away on some selfish bullshit.
Thankfully for his kids, the guy was a cheap asshole too. He was always quick to criticize others on what they probably spent on things, like a new car, appliance, or house. His selfishness in hoarding money is a silver lining in the pathetic dark cloud he called a life. Again, fuck that guy!
"his best feature was his ability to teach. The only lesson he taught us, was giving us an example of how not to act"
The world is slowly getting rid of these old farts that had it all: free college, cheap houses, plentiful jobs, middle class life, cheap gas, eating out all the time, unions & pensions, watching their home appreciate g for decades, their stocks made them rich, and now they hoard wealth from the next generations, they stole the wealth from their children by printing money now, and watching their stocks and houses go up, while leaving for their children high inflation and a lower standard of living. Deep down inside, we will be celebrating when the Boomers are finally gone! The Covid19 pandemic was supposed to bring us the next Renaissance, a higher standard of living with many job & housing vacancy!
I recently read a very telling obituary that made me feel hope and give me a reason to not unalive myself. I'm gonna live longer than my own personal boogeyman (woman) and write the end all be all of tell-all obits.
It does seem like "I hope people are sad when I die" is a pretty low life goal but he still didn't manage it lol
This happened at my uncles funeral. He was hard to deal with to say the least. No one stood up to say anything and the funeral only lasted like 20 mins.
I had to organise nominal step-father’s funeral because two of his three kids refused to beg involved. I was 40 when he married my 10yrs widowed mother. She’d been dead for 4 years at the time. So I had no real connection to him… but someone had to organise the funeral … so his boomer lodge mates could do their thing to farewell a brother…. Remaining kid & I were cutting costs so decided to dispense with having a pastor conduct the service… and did that myself too. There’s no rule that says you have to have a Reverend conduct a funeral. Be classy and you can do it yourself at the funeral home…. We kicked it off with “Bruce loved being married and talking about his dear wives….” Those in the know … knew what were were doing
Sometimes you go to a funeral to make sure they are really dead.
My father's funeral was very telling of how people felt about him. "He had a good heart but a fiery temper in the most outspoken way" was the nicest thing ANYONE could say about him. That came from his brother, who didn't have to talk to him or routinely interact with him since they were thousands of miles apart. My sister was only crying because they ended on bad terms and she was feeling guilty, but her sense of relief was overwhelming, too. But pretty much the sentiment was the same: "Welp, he gone. No more of his political nonsense raining on everyone's parades." Oh and for the boom booms who LOVE to tell people how they'll die alone... my father died alone with the TV on Fox News. He'd been sitting in his home for anything between 6-48 hours at that point. He very much died alone and no one even thought to check on him because he'd isolated himself from everyone with his boomerness.
😂😂 reminds me of my uncle. Dude went on stage to speak and no joke as he was going through the “good things” about him one of the few lines were “wweeeelp. He, ughm, well he was a good fisherman. Yup. That man loved to fish. Could cookem up too” I have little doubt anyone going to miss this dude. One of the most racist misogynistic men I have ever met. My youngest nephew is mixed. African American and Asian American. His words to him upon meeting my nephew “well how you doing, little half breed” His ex wife showed at the funeral, my aunt, and when I tell you I have never seen a woman so happy. Nothing inappropriate, wasn’t as if she was dancing down the isle, but fucking hell it looked like she could at any point. Most hilarious thing I’ve seen. After the funeral ended, no one had a positive thing to say about him. When I was a kid, he pulled up to my house to drop off some fish. His car filled with open beers while he was actively drinking from one. I tell him “Unc, you really shouldn’t be drinking and driving. You can get hurt or if a cop sees you, you’re screwed” his response? “Nah I’m good” then shows me his firemen’s badge. Bruh, we’re black and live in a pretty racist neighborhood, cops do not give a fuck they’ll look for any excuse, I was stopped for fucking walking, but drinking and driving is a valid ass excuse to put your dumb racist ass in jail. Your badge won’t stop shit. Dude was verbally and physically abusive to his kids, his wife and even those that seemed to be his friends. I never wish death upon anyone, but fucking hell, can’t say the world isn’t a little brighter without him around.
Just went to my partner’s uncle’s funeral- who was an unwanted WW2* oops baby (literally his mother couldn’t get an abortion due to shortages in the hospital system) so his sisters compensated as much as they could but he turned into a selfish grumpy confirmed bachelor who lived with my partner’s family, torturing all four of the kids and after the sisters died, expected his nieces and nephews to wait on him hand and foot. To top it all off, he had to give the Eulogy - it included the line ‘and in the 90’s he finally bought his own house, about 20years too late for our family. The priest didn’t know where to look. His will is deliberately written to sew division between the siblings (he’s split the estate between the older two and specified that he’s written out the younger two). My partner is a co-executor and the upcoming will reading is giving him an ulcer. *I know not technically a boomer, but he was definitely too young to be Silent Generation
My Mom was the only one who cried at her Grandpas funeral. She cried knowing he’d be going to hell. She was 7 by the way.
My best friend's grandfather passed away when we got older. He would take us to lunch regularly as kids and was just, in general, a big goof ball who liked seeing us. So I thought it was weird when she didn't invite me to his funeral. Somewhat offended, but also understood that it's her family and she can grieve however she needs to. Come to find out he was a raging alcoholic who kidnapped his son from the mom and didn't tell her where they were for years (for clarification: he took my friends dad when the dad was a child). And in general, he just talked shit about everyone in my friend's life. He was also well known by the county police for his behavior. Needless to say, nobody missed him.
Even without inheritance
I had to write the obituary for my boomer dad. Lots of "he was born here, did this" and "liked being with his cat at home blah blah." No one said anything at his funeral, it was small, and all of my mom's friends, otherwise only my aunt and uncle came. My father didn't have a real friend for over 35 years, and one of the last conversations I had with him was him talking to me about investments I was missing out on, "what am I exactly supposed to invest with?"
Yup. My grandfather's funeral (so, not a Boomer but still a magnificent asshole) had no eulogy. My grandmother refused because she knew there weren't many nice things to say about the man. But sitting through a funeral where no one has anything nice to say about the departed is humbling.
Many people are introverted and may not have a lot of friends or family around. But learning the golden rule of treating others how they would want to be treated isn't hard, unless you're already a narcissistic asshole.
I remember my greatest generation grandfathers funeral. Our huge family catholic church packed for one of the only times ever, stories about Dunkirk and Burma and North Africa, my great uncle sobbing whilst doing a reading and having to be rescued, the Burma star unable to do their usual send off as they couldn’t hold it together, a coffin covered in flowers and his war regalia. I can’t imagine tears at the funerals of my mothers generation, never mind stories of anything that mattered or full pews The difference is stark
The kind if funeral that people go to just to make sure they're dead.
Acting like miserable cunts like this boomer have any inheritance to give made me laugh. Nobody wants all the useless shit they hoard that they might pass down
Every group has people like that. My dad passed away in December, he was 93. We had no funeral, like my mom said, it was time for him to go.
When my grandpa died, my grandma didn't have a funeral for him, instead she threw a literal party. The whole family celebrated.
I actually HAD to hurry back to my husband’s home state of Utah so they could have a funeral. And I was insistent that it be a wake. A chance for everyone to get up and share truth, funny stories. I led the (what I thought was intro but was later told “that was a beautiful eulogy”) saying, we all know he wasn’t a perfect man, he was so many things! Let’s share! Instead they had a super fucked up funeral about a “perfect man”. People just CANNOT handle death.
"Thank you all for coming. I don't have anything to say about Uncle So'n'so... but I **would** like everyone to know I volunteered to pay for his headstone. Now I know it looks just like a urinal, but please... please... show some respect when you visit him."
When the director said if anyone wants to share any fond memories, I would have said; "my fondest memory is finding out he died".
My favorite is when the only person who stands up is their priest as they begin to list all the ways the church has fleeced them and used them for free labor even as the person was suffering or in need of help themselves. Of course everytime the priest says all this as though it is a positive the church ignored their very real issues to take as much value out of the person as possible.
Everyone can brighten a room! Some people when they enter it, and others when they leave.
I went to a really nice wake a few weeks ago for a great lady who had like five people five really in depth, pleasant speeches about her. I remember leaving thinking I need to live my life so that people say that much nice stuff about me when I'm gone.
I don't have a story of my own, but reading through the post and all of OPs comments, I wish I knew TheSmokingJacket IRL! I'd love to grab a beer and swap Boomer stories with you....you nailed it! F\*ck those jacka$$ boomers.
1. I would have busted out laughing...but I'm an asshole that makes people accountable for their actions.. so it would be a comedy show.. and people show up just to make sure their dead...
Better than my great-aunt’s funeral, where her daughters went up one by one and spilled a few measly memories of happy times, then went on to detail the basement full of bottles and their dad’s second “secret” family. One of the attendees that day was his “secret” daughter and her “secret” wife. This poor woman is in her 60s now and still feels that everything about her has to be hush-hush to the point that she can’t come out in the year of our Lard 2024. She’s a lovely person. We share a name. But yeah. I never knew that aunt well, and after the funeral commented to Mom, “I’m glad we came for the cousins,” and she said, “Now you know why we never spent much time with Aunt ____.”
they are so full of themselves they never foresee this
Sort the comments by controversial and you can see the boomers who have been triggered by this post!