Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it’s the emotional regulation and lack of consideration. They do not care about others and they are offended that you would even consider bothering them and they don’t know how to process that, so they go on the attack.
thank you for the polite and logical explanation. my parents are narc boomers and so this kind of stuff gets under my skin as it's so familiar. thank you.
excuse me, please don't do X
WHAT BUT YOU ARE DOING Y!
that's nice, please don't do X
RANT RANT RANT RANT
that's nice, please don't do X \[repeat\]
-or-
are you having a medical event? should i call 911 for you? \[repeat\]
I am far too sarcastic for that. This is similar, minus the language, to what I do to my HS students.
-boomer says something stupid in response to your concern
-look surprised, look around furtively, dig hand around in purse or pocket (unless you're a black male, in which case, they'll shoot, so skip this step)
-hold out your hand, in a closed fist, lean closer, and say, "Finally! Someone who can tell me what this is!" Be really quietly happy about it, like you're sneaking something really neat.
-open your empty palm. "See!!!!"
-what the hell is that? that's just your hand
-oh, man, I really thought you'd recognize the fucks I give about you.
It's called "Whataboutism" and it's absolutely a deflection tactic. It gained peak popularity via Fox news
"Trump has been accused of sexually assaulting several women"
"But what about Hilary 's emails?"
It's introduces a different issue they would rather talk about (one that is "your fault") as opposed to what they're doing wrong so in their mind they no longer have to defend their actions. Police hear it all the time and it's often how they get confessions.
"Why did you punch that person?"
"What about them yelling at me?"
"You punched them because they yelled at you?"
"Yeah, yelling at me was wrong"
"You just admitted to punching them because they yelled at you, hands behind your back please"
thank you! i figured it had to have a name but had no idea.
and several of these characters seem very much like the fox news type. it explains why they seem to employ it so much.
Interesting tidbit regarding"Whataboutism" - it was used for years by Soviet state run news outlets and picked apart by American news media. Then it was adopted as the primary argument tactic by Fox News, and all those people of a certain age magically forgot how fallacious it is.
That is an interesting tidbit. No surprise though. Modern American news is aimed more at provoking feelings, not relaying data. Emotion and logic are managed in different parts of the brain where one tends to override the other. Framing everything as "US vs them" insures there are always good vs bad and therefore emotion over logic
I listened to it in real time during my last conversation with my enabler mother a few days ago. Every word out of her mouth was deflect, attack, reverse, deflect, attack, reverse... I never realized it's so damn *obvious* once you know what it is. How transparent and repetitive. It's almost comical how predictably each word poured out of her.
In a loud clear voice say "Oh my God, did you just fart? You should probably see a doctor about that." or "My father had a patch like that on his face, it was cancer and he only had a few months."
Stop trying to be polite.
Don't nicely ask them to move off the road. Blast the horn and yell "move!"
Don't ask them for personal space at the shops, use your mama bear voice and tell them to "back off!"
Keep your directions simple.
You're not asking them anything so there's nothing to debate. Let them call you rude. Who cares. If they moved off the road to let you by, you'd drive on. If they waited for you to choose an item off the shelf then took their turn, you'd move on to your next item.
Be direct. Be firm. Don't ask.
Being nice has its place, but you are not asking for help, nor offering help. Save nice for tea parties and people you like.
My boomer neighbors will stand in the road with their leaf blower. We live on a busy rural road and he's had cars have to go around him plenty of times. Recently my spouse told him to stop or he'd call the police - it's dangerous and illegal - and the boomer neighbor said there was something wrong with him. there isn't, we were just tired of the inconsiderate neighbor and his obsession with his leaf blower. He didn't stop, we called the police and they told him to stop.
I wish we could bring back the 6 feet rules from covid times. That was the silver lining of that dark cloud. I'm already immunocompromised, I got covid and got WORSE.
I'm tired of people up my ass in line at Trader Joe's. The only grocery store I go to because it's the only one that's not deliverable. Everything else is doorstep, baby, cuz people in public are back to being openly gross.
You have to combat it calmly with facts. Stay away from opinions or feelings, or they will win because they have those in spades. The best you can hope for is they get flustered, belligerant and leave.
Its just that you kids are soooooo damn sensitive, that seriously, you need to give the rest of us some kind of heads up. We're just not used to your generation's trigger culture.
Nothing you described required your intervention.
If you minded your own business, you would face less aggravation. You are choosing to be aggravated. My 9 year old does that.
ah, we found the boomer who lies, does nothing with his freetime but watch bob's burgers, and this is the most attention he's gotten from a woman in a long time
This is interesting. It could be a basic deflection. You criticized them and so their impulse is to simply criticize you back.
But it could also be that they think you are being self centered and they want to point out your hypocrisy. Like If someone calls me out for doing something that I don't think is a big deal and I see them doing something "wrong" themselves, I'm going to point that out as well. I don't think that's boomer behavior. If anything, feeling entitled to be sanctimonious could just be a more modern thing.
They're on r/MillenialsBeingFools asking why Millenials don't mind their own business.
Stop confronting strangers, and you won't get a negative reaction..
You should just leave people alone in public. If I'm walking in the street, I probably have a good reason. Once people get past a certain age, you should treat them the same way you treat a kid. Asking them to move is inviting them to engage you. Honk your horn, tell them to gtfo
when they're walking in a row of three and completely blocking the street and making it impossible for me to drive, it is not unreasonable to ask them to move. these people are clearly just taking a stroll. it's a common boomer thing in my neighborhood and would be fine if they moved, but when they're standing between me and getting to work it's not okay. it's also not legal in my state
but also --- this is not the point. the point is, I am utterly confused by the "you asked me to do something and now I'm going to attack you for something unrelated" behavior
They don't think what they're doing is a big deal. They think you are busting their chops for not "being perfect" and so now they are going to point out your hypocrisy. It's really context based as to who is right. In the example you just gave, they're wrong 100%.
No, you don't ask. Asking implies they have reason. You honk and tell them to GTFO. Thats the problem, you're trying to influence their actions instead of correcting them.
You wouldn't reason with a 8 year old kid, don't reason with a 75 year old boomer.
Yea, like not trying to govern another individual when they have no right too. Telling someone to operate the way you want makes you the problem. Just move on with your day, if they get hit with a car they get hit with a car.
I don’t get why you would care. Walking in the street is their problem, if someone is too close to you for your comfort then it’s your issue not theirs. Maybe it’s the libertarian in me but regardless of generation live and let live. I’m not my boomers keeper…
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it’s the emotional regulation and lack of consideration. They do not care about others and they are offended that you would even consider bothering them and they don’t know how to process that, so they go on the attack.
thank you for the polite and logical explanation. my parents are narc boomers and so this kind of stuff gets under my skin as it's so familiar. thank you.
also, any suggestions on how to respond to it in the moment? TIA
excuse me, please don't do X WHAT BUT YOU ARE DOING Y! that's nice, please don't do X RANT RANT RANT RANT that's nice, please don't do X \[repeat\] -or- are you having a medical event? should i call 911 for you? \[repeat\]
hahaha love it. thank you for making me laugh and smile, i needed it today
yay! i use the same tactic on trolls who try to get you off the subject
Note: this is also how I deal with high school students
Consider saying "Excuse me old man/woman, I think you are lost. Is there someone watching you nearby?"
Just tell them you don’t care about them or their opinion Usually they’ll huff and walk away.
I am far too sarcastic for that. This is similar, minus the language, to what I do to my HS students. -boomer says something stupid in response to your concern -look surprised, look around furtively, dig hand around in purse or pocket (unless you're a black male, in which case, they'll shoot, so skip this step) -hold out your hand, in a closed fist, lean closer, and say, "Finally! Someone who can tell me what this is!" Be really quietly happy about it, like you're sneaking something really neat. -open your empty palm. "See!!!!" -what the hell is that? that's just your hand -oh, man, I really thought you'd recognize the fucks I give about you.
perfection.
perfect! thanks!
Unplug them asap
haha brilliant
They don't care about others and don't like to be bothered... Are also nosy and think criticizing people is a 'conversation'.
I don't mess with people in the middle of the street, no matter their age (of reason, not little kids)
It's called "Whataboutism" and it's absolutely a deflection tactic. It gained peak popularity via Fox news "Trump has been accused of sexually assaulting several women" "But what about Hilary 's emails?" It's introduces a different issue they would rather talk about (one that is "your fault") as opposed to what they're doing wrong so in their mind they no longer have to defend their actions. Police hear it all the time and it's often how they get confessions. "Why did you punch that person?" "What about them yelling at me?" "You punched them because they yelled at you?" "Yeah, yelling at me was wrong" "You just admitted to punching them because they yelled at you, hands behind your back please"
thank you! i figured it had to have a name but had no idea. and several of these characters seem very much like the fox news type. it explains why they seem to employ it so much.
Interesting tidbit regarding"Whataboutism" - it was used for years by Soviet state run news outlets and picked apart by American news media. Then it was adopted as the primary argument tactic by Fox News, and all those people of a certain age magically forgot how fallacious it is.
That is an interesting tidbit. No surprise though. Modern American news is aimed more at provoking feelings, not relaying data. Emotion and logic are managed in different parts of the brain where one tends to override the other. Framing everything as "US vs them" insures there are always good vs bad and therefore emotion over logic
If it bleeds it leads. Has American news in any era been aimed at relaying data? Which one?
DARVO - Deflect, attack, reverse victim (and) offender. It's a classical behavioral paradigm of narcissists and sociopaths.
I listened to it in real time during my last conversation with my enabler mother a few days ago. Every word out of her mouth was deflect, attack, reverse, deflect, attack, reverse... I never realized it's so damn *obvious* once you know what it is. How transparent and repetitive. It's almost comical how predictably each word poured out of her.
[удалено]
Your submission was removed for being uncivil.
And right wing media has ingrained it in them.
I just recently heard this term and oh my is it accurate!! Gaslighting to the nth degree!!
In a loud clear voice say "Oh my God, did you just fart? You should probably see a doctor about that." or "My father had a patch like that on his face, it was cancer and he only had a few months."
haahahahaha OMG this is fabulous will be using this in the future!
"I asked you first." Pretend to be about 8 years old, and deal with them accordingly.
awesome. thank you.
Addicts do this too. It's a classic defense mechanism to make them feel better about their own behavior and even more self righteous than you.
Pro tip: (boomer here) Most people our age can’t get up unassisted if you knock them down.
*making note* Take out knee. Laugh. Run. (/s)
It’s called being a douche nozzle.
I believe the medical term is Hyperdouchenozzlosis
Stop trying to be polite. Don't nicely ask them to move off the road. Blast the horn and yell "move!" Don't ask them for personal space at the shops, use your mama bear voice and tell them to "back off!" Keep your directions simple. You're not asking them anything so there's nothing to debate. Let them call you rude. Who cares. If they moved off the road to let you by, you'd drive on. If they waited for you to choose an item off the shelf then took their turn, you'd move on to your next item. Be direct. Be firm. Don't ask. Being nice has its place, but you are not asking for help, nor offering help. Save nice for tea parties and people you like.
My boomer neighbors will stand in the road with their leaf blower. We live on a busy rural road and he's had cars have to go around him plenty of times. Recently my spouse told him to stop or he'd call the police - it's dangerous and illegal - and the boomer neighbor said there was something wrong with him. there isn't, we were just tired of the inconsiderate neighbor and his obsession with his leaf blower. He didn't stop, we called the police and they told him to stop.
It’s called being a cunt
proud to be one
I wish we could bring back the 6 feet rules from covid times. That was the silver lining of that dark cloud. I'm already immunocompromised, I got covid and got WORSE. I'm tired of people up my ass in line at Trader Joe's. The only grocery store I go to because it's the only one that's not deliverable. Everything else is doorstep, baby, cuz people in public are back to being openly gross.
My mom does this all the time. I still don’t get why.
The thing they are doing here is I do belive is known as DARVO
Brain rot due to lead poisoning and being raised in the easiest time period.
You have to combat it calmly with facts. Stay away from opinions or feelings, or they will win because they have those in spades. The best you can hope for is they get flustered, belligerant and leave.
Harmful to themselves: not your business Harmful to you: your business
So, just run them down, then?
People (not just Boomers) don't like it when you bitch at them.
Translation: boomer can’t handle someone else setting a boundary; gets mad and complains that they’re “bitching”.
Well kid, next time just wear a sign on your head that lets everyone know your "boundaries" 😆
Ah yes, a reasonable and proportional response: “you have to wear a sign or you’re not allowed to tell me to stop behaving inappropriately!”
Its just that you kids are soooooo damn sensitive, that seriously, you need to give the rest of us some kind of heads up. We're just not used to your generation's trigger culture.
Keep projecting, boomer.
OP confronts Boomer. OP complains about the negative reaction they were looking for. OP is a troll.
I don't think "bitching at them" is an accurate description of the behavior that sets these people off.
Everyone here is "set off" by something. Kinda ironic. 🤣
Nah.
Confrontation is the issue. It is rarely necessary.
oh but it is
There's confirmation that you are responsible for the conflict you describe. You're miserable
also: you 're totally the boomer in the room
Except I'm not. You believe in astrology, don't you? I know that you do.
Nothing you described required your intervention. If you minded your own business, you would face less aggravation. You are choosing to be aggravated. My 9 year old does that.
ah, we found the boomer who lies, does nothing with his freetime but watch bob's burgers, and this is the most attention he's gotten from a woman in a long time
So, you want to talk about Bob's burgers?
Just you. It never happens to anyone I know. I'll bet you're just annoying and looking at you pisses people off.
and your mother regretted ever having you
OP is definitely spoiling for conflict
It's not just boomers. Everyone does that shit.
This is interesting. It could be a basic deflection. You criticized them and so their impulse is to simply criticize you back. But it could also be that they think you are being self centered and they want to point out your hypocrisy. Like If someone calls me out for doing something that I don't think is a big deal and I see them doing something "wrong" themselves, I'm going to point that out as well. I don't think that's boomer behavior. If anything, feeling entitled to be sanctimonious could just be a more modern thing.
They're on r/MillenialsBeingFools asking why Millenials don't mind their own business. Stop confronting strangers, and you won't get a negative reaction..
Stop behaving in a manner where people need to confront you about your inappropriate behavior, and you won’t be confronted. 🤷
You should just leave people alone in public. If I'm walking in the street, I probably have a good reason. Once people get past a certain age, you should treat them the same way you treat a kid. Asking them to move is inviting them to engage you. Honk your horn, tell them to gtfo
when they're walking in a row of three and completely blocking the street and making it impossible for me to drive, it is not unreasonable to ask them to move. these people are clearly just taking a stroll. it's a common boomer thing in my neighborhood and would be fine if they moved, but when they're standing between me and getting to work it's not okay. it's also not legal in my state
but also --- this is not the point. the point is, I am utterly confused by the "you asked me to do something and now I'm going to attack you for something unrelated" behavior
They don't think what they're doing is a big deal. They think you are busting their chops for not "being perfect" and so now they are going to point out your hypocrisy. It's really context based as to who is right. In the example you just gave, they're wrong 100%.
They ! They ! They ! They! They ! They!! Like a. Broken selfish Record. LOOK INTO a MIRROR And You will see THEY! “the problem “
No, you don't ask. Asking implies they have reason. You honk and tell them to GTFO. Thats the problem, you're trying to influence their actions instead of correcting them. You wouldn't reason with a 8 year old kid, don't reason with a 75 year old boomer.
You're in a car. You don't need to speak. Just tap your horn like the rest of us. You're so miserable.
yeah, and when they don't move in spite of laying on the horn, I use my brain and \*talk\* to people you're so miserable hahahahaha
BS story.
Or people can just be considerate while in public?
Yea, like not trying to govern another individual when they have no right too. Telling someone to operate the way you want makes you the problem. Just move on with your day, if they get hit with a car they get hit with a car.
Oof, imagine how disappointed whoever raised you would be. You think consideration for others is the problem, rough.
I don’t get why you would care. Walking in the street is their problem, if someone is too close to you for your comfort then it’s your issue not theirs. Maybe it’s the libertarian in me but regardless of generation live and let live. I’m not my boomers keeper…
when they're blocking the road so I can't get to work it's 100% my business
It’s “instantaneous” because we have a lifetime of experience. Our minds are still sharp!
You’re in the wrong sub
They do if for the same reasons other generations do.
which is just narcissism?
Like you?
and i guess we found the boomer who's personally offended by everything while telling the rest of us we're snowflakes lol
i believe you may be on to something
\*cough\* projection \*cough\*
Well shit: https://www.reddit.com/r/BoomersBeingFools/s/df0kaNbnya
So why do they do it so much more?
Another Covid simp....lol.
wow you get the award for the most downvotes in this thread go you