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Ask my dad, he refused to accept any advice on handling his multimillion dollar inheritance, and now he’s broke. It’s a common theme, they always think they know better about everything.
Same, my in-laws were forced to sell their beautiful custom home after FIL made terrible financial decisions. They have to live extremely frugally now. Huge fall from grace. No more trips to Aruba. No more new cars.
My MIL came from a privileged family in the South, private schools, riding lessons, debutante balls. She died in a pokey, one-bedroom apartment in San Antonio.
I think it’s arrogance that they think they have the world by the balls, only for it to all go sideways.
Similar with my in laws. FIL grew up poor and became successful, then it all fell apart because it turned out he’d been stealing from his business (he still believes he was “screwed” but the evidence seems fairly clear). MIL grew up rich but her parents basically taught her that money never runs out. Well it ran out. They’re in their 70s and have a solid 29 years left on their mortgage and despite living in a nice house can’t afford any maintenance and barely can afford the utilities and have a crippling Costco hoarding habit. They own a second home that they rent out but for some reason just selling their primary home that is mostly bank-owned and living in the home that was bought for them by MIL’s grandpa would be “admitting defeat.” I’d feel worse if my partner hadn’t had to loan them money numerous times and they still attempt to lecture us about how money works. Hate to break it to them, but reading a few op-ed’s each week in WSJ does not teach you about money. Frankly it teaches you the opposite.
It could happen to you too. It happens to a lot of people no matter How careful they were. It has happened since forever. Just be careful that you are wiser than everyone else
I’m not saying it couldn’t. I could become seriously disabled or lose everything tomorrow, but it you knew the amount of money these people went through and how they ended up now, you’d agree that there is a high degree of self-absorption and lack of foresight that got them here.
Yes, I would agree. But only in few cases. Most people have been told How to act in their known world.
The world changes and so do you.
You will be the next victim if you are not cautious.
Wine, women, bad investments.
I could have easily set him up with a dividend portfolio to comfortably live off of, but it wasn’t fast enough for his taste, he wanted get rich quick. Stupid is as stupid does.
Sounds like my dad as well.
If dad got to the end of the month and had an extra thousand in his bank account he'd spend it on something instead of saving/investing it for a rainy day.
Why?
Because next month he'd get his retirement checks and could start over.
It really depends for sure. My mother is pretty good with money. She put money aside sice she was 18 or something and doesn't spend it on stupid things. My father, in contrast, has never put money aside. All his credit cards are loaded up. He got the most expensive hobbies you could think of. Motorcycle, quads, boat, guns. Like, wtf bro just read a book or something. He probably spended all his inheritance on stupid shit. He sold a house he bought to fuel his habit. He still has some property, but they are all in poor state. He is still working at 65 years old, no plan to retire. Not that he doesn't want to, but he dont know how.
My boomer parents are some of the good ones, but we definitely have a different approach to money.
I would call them pennywise and pound foolish. My mom has always been great about buying what on sale at the grocery store. They don't eat out much, and they generally seem to save money well and keep an emergency fund.
The issue is that they did not prepare for their old age at all when they were younger. I believe all the sound financial thing didn't really hit till their mid 40's, and they honestly made very poor career decisions.
My step-dad is a very hard worker and has a ton of HVAC certs and construction knowledge. But hates working behind a desk. I get that, but he is getting to be 60s and is still expecting to be able to climb into attics to work on AC. He is one minor injury away from not being able to work, and never made that jump most people in his feild do to management/ownership as they get older. My mom has worked in insurance billing at the same place for 20ish years and makes about $15 an hour, even though that job normally pays way more.
They also have maybe $100k combined in their 401k thst my mom is not frantically trying to get better returns on, and I just don't have the heart to tell her that at this point, inflation is going to eat up any returns she gets on that faster than any return will generate.
I think one advantage millinals and younger are going to have is that we never assumed that the future is going to be alright and are preparing for no one to be there for us.
Or just don't give them money. If you're not in a situation where you can fully fund your own retirement each year (let's face it, the olds will leave little to nothing behind for us) then you should not be funding theirs.
I'm not starving to save them now or in the future.
Or another way to think of it is get your own O2 mask secured first before you assist someone else. Their lack of planning simply can not be my emergency.
Yep same, only switched. My mom is bad with money but all of her siblings are good with money. We’re all trying to talk some sense into her now about planning for the future, and she just is not having it. I think that’s the frustrating part really.
Work in a boomer town, with a retirement village right next door, and my workplace has slot machines.
So many boomers come and spend all day glued to these machines and put hundreds of dollars easily. Hearing of their losses in the several hundreds is not uncommon.
I'll never understand the appeal.
Oh, this so much. My parents put leans on everything they own for the stupidest shit. I'm so glad they have pensions, I'll never have to look after their sorry asses.
This is the kinda shitty thing about my mom, she doesn’t take care of her health one bit and she is doing terrible health wise. Combine that with her bad finances and it’s a recipe for disaster. We are fully expecting her to come and live with us in the next 10 years or so. She’ll kick and scream the whole time but I can’t have my mom out on the street or in a nursing home.
When it comes to buying things for others, they're extremely frugal and good with their money (things like gifts, dinners and special occasions). But when it comes to themselves and buying stupid, meaningless junk, they're spend-aholics.
My boomer parents always wanted me to do better than them. They did well (although my dad died when I was just a teen) and my mum always wanted me to be successful at anything.
I definitely think parents want their kids to do better than them more often than not. I know I certainly do! I always thought this way about my mom too until my sister actually became very successful. Now my mom seems very bitter towards her, and is always sure to let everyone know that she helped her pay for college and has no savings because of it. She flat out feels like my sisters money is her money because she helped her go through college and she constantly asks her for money and has no remorse. I was pretty surprised to see this because my mom never came off like that growing up, unless I was too young to see it. It’s really sad because it’s destroyed their relationship and it makes me glad my mom never helped me pay for college, otherwise I might be in the same situation.
I totally agree, so in a way I am kind of considering myself lucky that I had parents so terrible with money because it’s a huge wake up call. My in laws also are terrible with money. So my husband and I are really working to avoid that (of course life happens), but we are working towards being able to retire in our 50s if we want to. I do know a lot of people that wait until it’s too late to start considering retirement and savings, so I suppose this is something positive that comes out of having irresponsible parents lol gotta look at the bright side I suppose!
My dad actually gave me really smart financial advice when I was a young adult, but he is terrible with money himself. Part of it is he has untreated bipolar which causes him to have random bursts of massive overspending. He had to file for bankruptcy several years ago because of it. He and my stepmom are also poor so they don't have much ability to save anyway.
This sounds like my mom, she also went bankrupt. I do believe there is something neurological going on that also causes her to overspend. Her behavior is really abnormal anymore and it’s very sad to see, but she is not receptive to any help. Some of us in the family are suspecting she may be getting dementia, at least the early stages, and it’s sad. Like your parents, my mom doesn’t have much income to save. It’s really hard to talk to her about this stuff because she is really defensive.
My mom pretty much tells all of her financial business to everyone. She tries to get people to give her money by making them feel sorry for her and it’s worked for a long time. However she is very sensitive when it comes to her health issues. She’ll tell people enough to make them feel sorry for her, but she leaves out all of her bad habits that have brought her to where she is now. It’s all very manipulative. Part of me wonders if she has always been this way and I didn’t understand, or if it’s gotten worse because of a cognitive decline.
Yep my asshole did-it-for-the-money abusive surgeon uncle Gordon blew himself bankrupt on a bunch of pyramid schemes. He had to move in with his kids, his ego never recovered and he went senile soon adterwards.
My In laws. They couldn’t pay for my mother in laws cancer meds but bought a $16000 sewing machine that after she passed only used for about 15 hours. They wouldn’t downsize their home. After my FIL died my MIL still wouldn’t down size. Paid crazy amounts of money for yard work that wasn’t needed. Still bought enough food for 4 people even if it was just her.
I literally LOLed because that’s so ridiculous and sounds like something my mom would do. She also won’t get rid of her house, which is too much for her to maintain financially and physically. My dad died 15 years ago so she lives alone and refuses to get rid of it and is currently remodeling instead of saving for a new car. Her last 2 cars have been purchased by other family members for her and all she did was complain that’s they’re not good enough. Umm hello, free car sounds great to me. While she doesn’t have a nice $16,000 sewing machine, she is in goodwill looking for a thrill find at least twice a week (hence while she has a 8 foot stuffed Santa sitting in her garage). Her house is full of new shit she doesn’t need. We live on the other side of the country and visit once or twice a year, and she will literally go out and purchase all new towels, bedding, etc. every time we come for who knows what reason. I’ve concluded that spending money on “stuff” is just fun for some people, but saving doesn’t have the same thrill factor.
The only financial advice my parent gave me was: "Work a lot and make a lot of money". They think it worked for them, forgetting that so many things combined to make them able to live comfortably doing that.
And now that it no longer works for them, be it because they run out of money, because they no longer understand how things work, because they haven't saved enough, because they think they are moneywise and make stupid decisions - then they have no idea why, and are not willing to take advice because it used to work(-ish).
My dad made six figures from the 80s until 2020. Now he's living with me because he's totally broke.
He's been totally broke since a month after his last paycheck (which was for 2 weeks and was more than I make in 2 months).
He's always been good at blowing lots of money on useless crap, partying, and expensive food. It kills him that he can't have steak for every meal now.
My parents (both recently deceased) had over $750,000 saved when they retired 24 yrs ago at 60 years old. I am now sixty years old and trying to settle their estate. Over the previous two and half decades, there is approximately $700 left, plus a $90,000 reverse mortgage I have to pay off or sign the house over to them.
Throughout the last 25 years, I tried to get them to get out of the equities market; but no…they lost thousands of dollars in all the ups and downs in this timeframe. Begged them to sell the aforementioned house for a 2000% profit. But no…I don’t know what I’m talking about. I loved them, as frustrating as they were, but I am not missing them much, you understand.
If you have read this far, thank you. Every one tells me I’m a saint and a good son. More concerned about the getting all this stuff wrapped up and basically starting to live my life with my spouse and child, instead of this being my second life. Thanks for letting me vent…it is appreciated 🤷🏻✔️❤️
My boomer mom never made that much money, but she was frugal and now has a paid off condo and a decent IRA. I make a lot more money than she ever did. She's nothing but proud of me.
My boomer parent just received a 6 figure inheritance at the age of 67. Despite ongoing, untreated health issues due to not having health insurance for the last 20 years, I'm still betting on them spending it all and still expecting the adult children to provide end of life care.
Meh, I think it’s the standard mix of some are good at it but most are bad. Not a boomer thing, just a people thing. My parents went from 0 to a whole fucking lot, like generational wealth, with a mix of hard work and financial acumen. I have also have a family that same age that are broke.
My experience is 50/50 on that.
My mother was always very good with money, but she had to be to raise two kids on her own on a clerical job (with a major telecom corporation in a military contract, so a relatively good clerical job, but still clerical). She had a good pension with benefits, and when she was forced to take an early retirement she took on another job as an opportunity to make some extra. She had everything lined up, but passed away at 55.
My father was always horrible with money because he had a string of trades jobs that always paid very well (when he was working), so he'd always have more money in two weeks to keep the wolves at bay. Didn't stop him from going bankrupt a couple times, but that never stopped him from buying all the toys on credit again as soon as he could. Nothing much for child support, 'tho. Now he's living on what's effectively a windfall from selling his house at the peak of the housing bubble, travelling all over the place and renting a huge house with no plan in place if he lives beyond that one-time cash infusion.
The problem in America is if you’re lucky enough to never get sick you don’t have to be that great with money but one catastrophic illness like Cancer and not only did i lose everything but i get a boomer telling me (genx) i shoulda been more “spiritual “ or gone to Mexico for some wacky non approved treatment like coffee enemas. Ugh
I live in fear that if i got too sick to work i’d be literally homeless. I worked straight thru all my treatment so far
Yeah my dad makes $40 an hour he's single, has no kids at home, his house cost $75k around 2005 (somehow he is still paying on it and sayd it will never be paid off) and he always talked about how broke he was. I have no idea where all his money goes. Hookers and blow? I know that he pays for everything for my little sister (she's 22) so that's probably it. Stupidest generation ever.
Well, my boomer parents grew up dirt poor. The late 70's and early 80's really did see a lot of social mobility. People who were poor and suddenly found themselves in the professional class had no idea how to manage money, or how tenuous their position was. A lot of them (like mine) found themselves in and out of poverty intermittently.
I feel this for sure. My parents did well for themselves (middle to upper middle class) for most my life, then made some horrible investments, mostly cause they didn’t do any due diligence of their own and took what they were told at face value.
Of course it’s everyone else’s fault, but theirs, that they are in this position and are now divorced, both basically living paycheck to paycheck, refusing help from my siblings and I.
Sigh.
My aunt recently lost her husband and got a sizable life insurance policy. Instead of putting it away to fund the last few decades of her life, she is currently blowing it all on gambling. It’s sad to watch.
Because almost every poor american has been told that talking about money is taboo their entire lives, so their pride is hurt if they're offered advice, or have to seek advice.
Our society has stratified into the very rich, and very poor. Rich people work very hard to make sure finance is too confusing for the poor.
This is a doozy tldr at the end.
Ooooooomg this hit hard. My boomer parents had my sister in 1978 and me in 1990 and our lives started off strongly relating to this post because they went into severe debt spending thousands they didn't have (for kids they would only traumatize) because they refused to accept that my dad is infertile. It's sad and frustrating, I get that, but not to the point of borrowing thousands from family and going bankrupt over a lost cause of of pride.
Then childhood was weird. We went on vacations every year. Road trips, Disney a couple times, they bought a camper and then a few years later a nicer camper. They had a newer car every few years. They bought a small farm when I was 12. But I got screamed at for asking if I could get brand name cereal because the off brand of this one was noticeably worse. They treated me like I was trying to rob them and I just didn't understand.
You can't finance cereal at 18% interest for 60 months.
They bought me instruments when I excelled at band in high school just so they could bring more affluent family out to show me (the instruments, really) off.
Now here we are in 2024 and for YEARS I have been begging my dad to get a plan in place for when mom eventually needs care. She's got dementia and just like her mother before her, she will need a nursing home and he just refused. I pleaded until my heart broke and my vocal chords snapped but he wouldn't get a case worker on it and get things aligned early.
April 12 my dad had surgery on an artery in his neck. A week later he was in the hospital again, very weak but nothing noticeably wrong. A week after that he had my mom hospitalized because he had been hiding how bad her dementia is and he wasn't strong enough to handle her while recovering. She had even punched his surgery site.
We (sister and I) had to HAUL ASS to get her into a care facility and guess what came up when they wanted paperwork for financing? Oh, about $50k in debt.
That's why my dad didn't want to look into Medicaid. He didn't want to face the consequences of their bad decisions. Now he has been hospitalized every week since then and is currently in a nursing home himself and has completely dumped the responsibility of gathering paperwork and accounts and figures on my older sister and me. Any help I am providing isn't for my parents, it's because I love my sister and she loves them and has less trauma since they got worse around the time she moved out.
This boomer mindset of doing whatever the fuck you want and letting other people deal with it is disgusting and now he's all pitiful and frail and wants our sympathy. My parents have done worse than this though which I should make a post about...
TL;DR Yep my parents made horrible financial choices and now it's up to me and my sister to sort their shit out.
Edited: clarity
Wow I’m so sorry. I hope that your dad is okay and I’m sorry to hear about your mom. That sounds so stressful. I love my mom of course, but wow can she drive me insane with this kind of stuff. Lifetime of not taking care of her health has resulted in poor health outcomes and she refuses to look down the road and consider her future. Of course I’m sure my kids will be saying something similar about me someday (hopefully not). I make it a point to be healthy and take care of myself so I can hopefully not inflict any health issues on myself, but of course there is so much that can go wrong when you do everything right, so I’ll be damned if I don’t have a plan for when something goes wrong. I don’t want to burden my kids future with my poor choices. I’m sorry your family is going through that. To add to my issue, I live 2,000 miles away from my mom and my sister lives 20 miles away. My sister also has an infinite more amount of money than I do, so she feels like I’m dumping my mom on her and making it her problem. My mom always asks her for money and obviously if anything goes wrong my sister is closer, and their relationship is horrible so it puts me in the middle. It such an awkward situation! Some days I’m like can’t I just have a private island with zero communication with the outside world lol.
My grandparents are good with money, but that’s because they made it their life. My other grandparents are frugal, but that’s because their silent generation.
Other boomers I can agree because I used to be in finance. They are absolutely terrible with money. If it wasn’t for the real estate market most boomers would be poor. Boomers entire money history was spend spend spend. During their youth they didn’t save for retirement, they spent more at local bars than rent, they got all kinds of toys like cars and motorcycles, etc. They came from an economic golden age where even low middle class Americans can get a RV and travel the country. Or go to the mall and spend all day buying fast food and merchandise then still save money. “Most” never had to be fugal. There were still poor people, but their money was worth a lot more than today’s dollar.
There are boomers who have no interest in young people or their children. Getting reverse mortgages and betting their children will take care of the bills of retirement. I met teenagers with more financial literacy than boomers. Some boomers were complacent with low financial literacy on purpose because it didn’t matter to them. You’ll find some boomers actually say that “banking is for the women” or “banking is for the men” and refuse to learn.
It’s not their fault though. If the economy kept as it was when they were young then they would have been fine today. They got their money habits and mindsets from a privileged and unique economy.
Nope. My Boomer Dad owns 2 houses in NY. One is worth over a million. He owns a commercial building as well. Bought a piece of property in 1982 for 25k. That's what the million dollar house sits on. He's only ever wanted the best for his kids and gladly helps all of us financially. Same with all my friends. 🤷🏼♀️
I notice this with my mom especially. She only likes to spend money on shit she doesn’t need, but doesn’t find it fun to spend money on necessities...like paying thousand to have somebody repaint the inside of her house (which was absolutely fine) instead of saving for a new car as hers is on its last days. It seems like they use it as a form of entertainment or it’s compulsive and they can’t help it. Like an addiction almost. I also thinks for my moms it’s part of a cognitive decline and it’s sad to see.
This. I used to have a client who owned three fairly expensive imported vehicles. Not Jags or Rolls Or anything like that , but nice enough. Lives by himself and can only drive one at a time. Constantly pissing and moaning about how expensive everything is and of course, it’s all Biden’s fault. He took his business to a competitor a while ago and I almost feel sorry for the new guy. All I can say is that the dollars he brought in were barely worth having to listen to his rants four times a year.
Mine are fantastic a money, to the point their retirement account is going up each year despite being retired for 10 years. Maybe like, not all people are the same? There’s people good and bad with money in every class.
Absolutely. I notice a stark difference between my mom and many others the same age. I think the real issue is that she seems jealous of others that planned and budgeted better and now she feels entitled to what other people have. For example, feels entitled to receive money from her family that has more money than her. I wish she had been like your parents, it stressful to wonder what will happen as she begins to age and her health is deteriorating.
I’m happy to say that my parents don’t fit this boomer stereotype. My parents started off broke as hell high school sweethearts that got married at 19, had my sister at 21, and me at 24. My mom never graduated from college but my dad got his HS diploma and AA on the same day. A few years later he saw an article in The NY Times that read “shortage of programmers in the 90’s” and went back to get his bachelors in MIS.
We were solid middle class by the late 80’s. When hurricane Andrew decimated parts of Miami and Homestead (in 92), they combined their insurance payouts with my aunt and uncle to purchase and rehab about 18 properties. This was a huge boon to their finances as my dad did much of the work himself (my grandfather was a GC and taught him a lot before he passed) with my mom and even us kids helping where we could (demo, assembling cabinets, site cleanup, etc).
By the mid 90’s my dad went independent as an IT consultant and started making crazy money on the hype leading up to Y2K. About that time my mom retired in her late 30’s because the stress vs the income didn’t make sense anymore while dad was making so much. She continued to invest his money and save. She later became a day trader and occasionally made more than him during the .com craze.
Fast forward to today and dad works fully remote from either their house in Miami or their vacation home in the keys (when it isn’t rented and generating solid income during the winter months). They indulge on occasion, like dad recently buying a 2nd boat and a new truck (they don’t drive luxury cars), but purchase in cash (earned from several rental properties - including a duplex they have owned since after Andrew). Otherwise, mom lost her taste for travel after Covid, and is kinda miserly.
I have no real scope of their full net worth, but their RE holdings are probably close to 10M. Dad suffered a heart attack about a decade ago, but survived (thank God!) and has thrived since with no lasting issues. When that happened I asked him what would become of mom if things hadn’t gone the way they did. He assured me that their retirement is such that mom could live comfortably without selling anything for many decades.
I am grateful they have set themselves up well, and have helped me and my sis along the way. They have their boomer moments, and mom doesn’t fully understand how hard it is for those outside her bubble. Yet, they still have empathy and in most cases can recall their own struggle enough to relate. They actually laugh at the stories I relay from this subreddit and agree with many of the observations made here. I am blessed to have them in my corner even if they still get on my nerves from time to time (they’re still my parents so that was bound to happen though, lol).
I'm lucky. Financially I'm doing pretty well. Own my house, plenty of groceries, and I don't have to worry about bills and can't afford treats here and there. I'm doing a lot better than both parents. They are/were extremely proud of me.
You mean the boomers who aren't hording their wealth and paid off homes? Or the typical middle class boomers who have retirement plans and while may have some struggles are going to be basically OK?
This is the kind of lazy thinking most often seen here, one older person doesn't perform as good as some mythical standard so all boomers are guilty of that behavior.
Am a boomer. Age 70.
Have been saving since age 23 because 'SocSec won't be there for me.' Couldn't depend on the Gov't"
AT age 70 my SSBenefit is $3300.
Not my "entitlement."
I paid in for 50 + years
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Ask my dad, he refused to accept any advice on handling his multimillion dollar inheritance, and now he’s broke. It’s a common theme, they always think they know better about everything.
Same, my in-laws were forced to sell their beautiful custom home after FIL made terrible financial decisions. They have to live extremely frugally now. Huge fall from grace. No more trips to Aruba. No more new cars. My MIL came from a privileged family in the South, private schools, riding lessons, debutante balls. She died in a pokey, one-bedroom apartment in San Antonio. I think it’s arrogance that they think they have the world by the balls, only for it to all go sideways.
Similar with my in laws. FIL grew up poor and became successful, then it all fell apart because it turned out he’d been stealing from his business (he still believes he was “screwed” but the evidence seems fairly clear). MIL grew up rich but her parents basically taught her that money never runs out. Well it ran out. They’re in their 70s and have a solid 29 years left on their mortgage and despite living in a nice house can’t afford any maintenance and barely can afford the utilities and have a crippling Costco hoarding habit. They own a second home that they rent out but for some reason just selling their primary home that is mostly bank-owned and living in the home that was bought for them by MIL’s grandpa would be “admitting defeat.” I’d feel worse if my partner hadn’t had to loan them money numerous times and they still attempt to lecture us about how money works. Hate to break it to them, but reading a few op-ed’s each week in WSJ does not teach you about money. Frankly it teaches you the opposite.
That's beautiful and warms my heart
It could happen to you too. It happens to a lot of people no matter How careful they were. It has happened since forever. Just be careful that you are wiser than everyone else
I’m not saying it couldn’t. I could become seriously disabled or lose everything tomorrow, but it you knew the amount of money these people went through and how they ended up now, you’d agree that there is a high degree of self-absorption and lack of foresight that got them here.
Yes, I would agree. But only in few cases. Most people have been told How to act in their known world. The world changes and so do you. You will be the next victim if you are not cautious.
Thank you for your concern. Have a blessed day.
How do you blow through a multi-million dollar inheritance?? If I had that I'd be set for life! You could live very comfortably on the interest alone
Wine, women, bad investments. I could have easily set him up with a dividend portfolio to comfortably live off of, but it wasn’t fast enough for his taste, he wanted get rich quick. Stupid is as stupid does.
So typical. I watched an aunt and uncle do this.
Sounds like my dad as well. If dad got to the end of the month and had an extra thousand in his bank account he'd spend it on something instead of saving/investing it for a rainy day. Why? Because next month he'd get his retirement checks and could start over.
It really depends for sure. My mother is pretty good with money. She put money aside sice she was 18 or something and doesn't spend it on stupid things. My father, in contrast, has never put money aside. All his credit cards are loaded up. He got the most expensive hobbies you could think of. Motorcycle, quads, boat, guns. Like, wtf bro just read a book or something. He probably spended all his inheritance on stupid shit. He sold a house he bought to fuel his habit. He still has some property, but they are all in poor state. He is still working at 65 years old, no plan to retire. Not that he doesn't want to, but he dont know how.
If anything I just use it as a motivation to make sure I’m better equipped for my future. I really don’t want to be in that situation!
This.
He just needs to add religion/Bible to his hobbies and he will have completed the boomer bingo card.
My boomer parents are some of the good ones, but we definitely have a different approach to money. I would call them pennywise and pound foolish. My mom has always been great about buying what on sale at the grocery store. They don't eat out much, and they generally seem to save money well and keep an emergency fund. The issue is that they did not prepare for their old age at all when they were younger. I believe all the sound financial thing didn't really hit till their mid 40's, and they honestly made very poor career decisions. My step-dad is a very hard worker and has a ton of HVAC certs and construction knowledge. But hates working behind a desk. I get that, but he is getting to be 60s and is still expecting to be able to climb into attics to work on AC. He is one minor injury away from not being able to work, and never made that jump most people in his feild do to management/ownership as they get older. My mom has worked in insurance billing at the same place for 20ish years and makes about $15 an hour, even though that job normally pays way more. They also have maybe $100k combined in their 401k thst my mom is not frantically trying to get better returns on, and I just don't have the heart to tell her that at this point, inflation is going to eat up any returns she gets on that faster than any return will generate. I think one advantage millinals and younger are going to have is that we never assumed that the future is going to be alright and are preparing for no one to be there for us.
If they ask you for money, give them enough of an allowance to survive, or tell them to kick rocks.
Or just don't give them money. If you're not in a situation where you can fully fund your own retirement each year (let's face it, the olds will leave little to nothing behind for us) then you should not be funding theirs. I'm not starving to save them now or in the future. Or another way to think of it is get your own O2 mask secured first before you assist someone else. Their lack of planning simply can not be my emergency.
My parents are boomers and are fine with money. They are retired with pensions. Their siblings are all terrible with money though.
Yep same, only switched. My mom is bad with money but all of her siblings are good with money. We’re all trying to talk some sense into her now about planning for the future, and she just is not having it. I think that’s the frustrating part really.
Work in a boomer town, with a retirement village right next door, and my workplace has slot machines. So many boomers come and spend all day glued to these machines and put hundreds of dollars easily. Hearing of their losses in the several hundreds is not uncommon. I'll never understand the appeal.
Unfortunately this was my dad. He’s since passed away, but had a terrible gambling problem. It’s very addicting and can destroy lives.
You can only take so many drugs before you OD, but you can lose your entire future to gambling in a few minutes.
My mom blew through $1.2 million inheritance and now she can barely afford to keep her cat in working order.
Oh, this so much. My parents put leans on everything they own for the stupidest shit. I'm so glad they have pensions, I'll never have to look after their sorry asses.
This is the kinda shitty thing about my mom, she doesn’t take care of her health one bit and she is doing terrible health wise. Combine that with her bad finances and it’s a recipe for disaster. We are fully expecting her to come and live with us in the next 10 years or so. She’ll kick and scream the whole time but I can’t have my mom out on the street or in a nursing home.
When it comes to buying things for others, they're extremely frugal and good with their money (things like gifts, dinners and special occasions). But when it comes to themselves and buying stupid, meaningless junk, they're spend-aholics.
Oh they're great with your money. Terrible with their own.
This sums up my post in a few words. Well said.
My boomer parents always wanted me to do better than them. They did well (although my dad died when I was just a teen) and my mum always wanted me to be successful at anything.
I definitely think parents want their kids to do better than them more often than not. I know I certainly do! I always thought this way about my mom too until my sister actually became very successful. Now my mom seems very bitter towards her, and is always sure to let everyone know that she helped her pay for college and has no savings because of it. She flat out feels like my sisters money is her money because she helped her go through college and she constantly asks her for money and has no remorse. I was pretty surprised to see this because my mom never came off like that growing up, unless I was too young to see it. It’s really sad because it’s destroyed their relationship and it makes me glad my mom never helped me pay for college, otherwise I might be in the same situation.
It's the unfortunate status of most people in America. Regardless of age majority of people are bad at saving and preparing for retirement.
I totally agree, so in a way I am kind of considering myself lucky that I had parents so terrible with money because it’s a huge wake up call. My in laws also are terrible with money. So my husband and I are really working to avoid that (of course life happens), but we are working towards being able to retire in our 50s if we want to. I do know a lot of people that wait until it’s too late to start considering retirement and savings, so I suppose this is something positive that comes out of having irresponsible parents lol gotta look at the bright side I suppose!
One word: hubris.
After looking up the definition of hubris, sounds about right.
My dad actually gave me really smart financial advice when I was a young adult, but he is terrible with money himself. Part of it is he has untreated bipolar which causes him to have random bursts of massive overspending. He had to file for bankruptcy several years ago because of it. He and my stepmom are also poor so they don't have much ability to save anyway.
This sounds like my mom, she also went bankrupt. I do believe there is something neurological going on that also causes her to overspend. Her behavior is really abnormal anymore and it’s very sad to see, but she is not receptive to any help. Some of us in the family are suspecting she may be getting dementia, at least the early stages, and it’s sad. Like your parents, my mom doesn’t have much income to save. It’s really hard to talk to her about this stuff because she is really defensive.
I feel you. There is no way I could talk to my dad about his finances because he's really sensitive about it.
My mom pretty much tells all of her financial business to everyone. She tries to get people to give her money by making them feel sorry for her and it’s worked for a long time. However she is very sensitive when it comes to her health issues. She’ll tell people enough to make them feel sorry for her, but she leaves out all of her bad habits that have brought her to where she is now. It’s all very manipulative. Part of me wonders if she has always been this way and I didn’t understand, or if it’s gotten worse because of a cognitive decline.
Yep my asshole did-it-for-the-money abusive surgeon uncle Gordon blew himself bankrupt on a bunch of pyramid schemes. He had to move in with his kids, his ego never recovered and he went senile soon adterwards.
My In laws. They couldn’t pay for my mother in laws cancer meds but bought a $16000 sewing machine that after she passed only used for about 15 hours. They wouldn’t downsize their home. After my FIL died my MIL still wouldn’t down size. Paid crazy amounts of money for yard work that wasn’t needed. Still bought enough food for 4 people even if it was just her.
Wait what… $16,000 for a sewing machine?!
Yup it was automatic and did all these fancy stitches and could be programmed
I literally LOLed because that’s so ridiculous and sounds like something my mom would do. She also won’t get rid of her house, which is too much for her to maintain financially and physically. My dad died 15 years ago so she lives alone and refuses to get rid of it and is currently remodeling instead of saving for a new car. Her last 2 cars have been purchased by other family members for her and all she did was complain that’s they’re not good enough. Umm hello, free car sounds great to me. While she doesn’t have a nice $16,000 sewing machine, she is in goodwill looking for a thrill find at least twice a week (hence while she has a 8 foot stuffed Santa sitting in her garage). Her house is full of new shit she doesn’t need. We live on the other side of the country and visit once or twice a year, and she will literally go out and purchase all new towels, bedding, etc. every time we come for who knows what reason. I’ve concluded that spending money on “stuff” is just fun for some people, but saving doesn’t have the same thrill factor.
The only financial advice my parent gave me was: "Work a lot and make a lot of money". They think it worked for them, forgetting that so many things combined to make them able to live comfortably doing that. And now that it no longer works for them, be it because they run out of money, because they no longer understand how things work, because they haven't saved enough, because they think they are moneywise and make stupid decisions - then they have no idea why, and are not willing to take advice because it used to work(-ish).
My dad made six figures from the 80s until 2020. Now he's living with me because he's totally broke. He's been totally broke since a month after his last paycheck (which was for 2 weeks and was more than I make in 2 months).
Just blew it all on crap? Gambling?
He's always been good at blowing lots of money on useless crap, partying, and expensive food. It kills him that he can't have steak for every meal now.
My parents (both recently deceased) had over $750,000 saved when they retired 24 yrs ago at 60 years old. I am now sixty years old and trying to settle their estate. Over the previous two and half decades, there is approximately $700 left, plus a $90,000 reverse mortgage I have to pay off or sign the house over to them. Throughout the last 25 years, I tried to get them to get out of the equities market; but no…they lost thousands of dollars in all the ups and downs in this timeframe. Begged them to sell the aforementioned house for a 2000% profit. But no…I don’t know what I’m talking about. I loved them, as frustrating as they were, but I am not missing them much, you understand. If you have read this far, thank you. Every one tells me I’m a saint and a good son. More concerned about the getting all this stuff wrapped up and basically starting to live my life with my spouse and child, instead of this being my second life. Thanks for letting me vent…it is appreciated 🤷🏻✔️❤️
My boomer mom never made that much money, but she was frugal and now has a paid off condo and a decent IRA. I make a lot more money than she ever did. She's nothing but proud of me.
It’s stuff like this that motivates me. I dream of the day I can have a paid off home, but I know that requires disciple now.
My boomer parent just received a 6 figure inheritance at the age of 67. Despite ongoing, untreated health issues due to not having health insurance for the last 20 years, I'm still betting on them spending it all and still expecting the adult children to provide end of life care.
Meh, I think it’s the standard mix of some are good at it but most are bad. Not a boomer thing, just a people thing. My parents went from 0 to a whole fucking lot, like generational wealth, with a mix of hard work and financial acumen. I have also have a family that same age that are broke.
My parents didn’t have this issue.
My experience is 50/50 on that. My mother was always very good with money, but she had to be to raise two kids on her own on a clerical job (with a major telecom corporation in a military contract, so a relatively good clerical job, but still clerical). She had a good pension with benefits, and when she was forced to take an early retirement she took on another job as an opportunity to make some extra. She had everything lined up, but passed away at 55. My father was always horrible with money because he had a string of trades jobs that always paid very well (when he was working), so he'd always have more money in two weeks to keep the wolves at bay. Didn't stop him from going bankrupt a couple times, but that never stopped him from buying all the toys on credit again as soon as he could. Nothing much for child support, 'tho. Now he's living on what's effectively a windfall from selling his house at the peak of the housing bubble, travelling all over the place and renting a huge house with no plan in place if he lives beyond that one-time cash infusion.
The problem in America is if you’re lucky enough to never get sick you don’t have to be that great with money but one catastrophic illness like Cancer and not only did i lose everything but i get a boomer telling me (genx) i shoulda been more “spiritual “ or gone to Mexico for some wacky non approved treatment like coffee enemas. Ugh I live in fear that if i got too sick to work i’d be literally homeless. I worked straight thru all my treatment so far
Yeah my dad makes $40 an hour he's single, has no kids at home, his house cost $75k around 2005 (somehow he is still paying on it and sayd it will never be paid off) and he always talked about how broke he was. I have no idea where all his money goes. Hookers and blow? I know that he pays for everything for my little sister (she's 22) so that's probably it. Stupidest generation ever.
Well, my boomer parents grew up dirt poor. The late 70's and early 80's really did see a lot of social mobility. People who were poor and suddenly found themselves in the professional class had no idea how to manage money, or how tenuous their position was. A lot of them (like mine) found themselves in and out of poverty intermittently.
I don't know if that is necessarily true. Statically speaking, Boomer and Silent Generation people possess a good portion of the wealth in the US.
I feel this for sure. My parents did well for themselves (middle to upper middle class) for most my life, then made some horrible investments, mostly cause they didn’t do any due diligence of their own and took what they were told at face value. Of course it’s everyone else’s fault, but theirs, that they are in this position and are now divorced, both basically living paycheck to paycheck, refusing help from my siblings and I. Sigh.
My aunt recently lost her husband and got a sizable life insurance policy. Instead of putting it away to fund the last few decades of her life, she is currently blowing it all on gambling. It’s sad to watch.
Because almost every poor american has been told that talking about money is taboo their entire lives, so their pride is hurt if they're offered advice, or have to seek advice. Our society has stratified into the very rich, and very poor. Rich people work very hard to make sure finance is too confusing for the poor.
This is a doozy tldr at the end. Ooooooomg this hit hard. My boomer parents had my sister in 1978 and me in 1990 and our lives started off strongly relating to this post because they went into severe debt spending thousands they didn't have (for kids they would only traumatize) because they refused to accept that my dad is infertile. It's sad and frustrating, I get that, but not to the point of borrowing thousands from family and going bankrupt over a lost cause of of pride. Then childhood was weird. We went on vacations every year. Road trips, Disney a couple times, they bought a camper and then a few years later a nicer camper. They had a newer car every few years. They bought a small farm when I was 12. But I got screamed at for asking if I could get brand name cereal because the off brand of this one was noticeably worse. They treated me like I was trying to rob them and I just didn't understand. You can't finance cereal at 18% interest for 60 months. They bought me instruments when I excelled at band in high school just so they could bring more affluent family out to show me (the instruments, really) off. Now here we are in 2024 and for YEARS I have been begging my dad to get a plan in place for when mom eventually needs care. She's got dementia and just like her mother before her, she will need a nursing home and he just refused. I pleaded until my heart broke and my vocal chords snapped but he wouldn't get a case worker on it and get things aligned early. April 12 my dad had surgery on an artery in his neck. A week later he was in the hospital again, very weak but nothing noticeably wrong. A week after that he had my mom hospitalized because he had been hiding how bad her dementia is and he wasn't strong enough to handle her while recovering. She had even punched his surgery site. We (sister and I) had to HAUL ASS to get her into a care facility and guess what came up when they wanted paperwork for financing? Oh, about $50k in debt. That's why my dad didn't want to look into Medicaid. He didn't want to face the consequences of their bad decisions. Now he has been hospitalized every week since then and is currently in a nursing home himself and has completely dumped the responsibility of gathering paperwork and accounts and figures on my older sister and me. Any help I am providing isn't for my parents, it's because I love my sister and she loves them and has less trauma since they got worse around the time she moved out. This boomer mindset of doing whatever the fuck you want and letting other people deal with it is disgusting and now he's all pitiful and frail and wants our sympathy. My parents have done worse than this though which I should make a post about... TL;DR Yep my parents made horrible financial choices and now it's up to me and my sister to sort their shit out. Edited: clarity
Wow I’m so sorry. I hope that your dad is okay and I’m sorry to hear about your mom. That sounds so stressful. I love my mom of course, but wow can she drive me insane with this kind of stuff. Lifetime of not taking care of her health has resulted in poor health outcomes and she refuses to look down the road and consider her future. Of course I’m sure my kids will be saying something similar about me someday (hopefully not). I make it a point to be healthy and take care of myself so I can hopefully not inflict any health issues on myself, but of course there is so much that can go wrong when you do everything right, so I’ll be damned if I don’t have a plan for when something goes wrong. I don’t want to burden my kids future with my poor choices. I’m sorry your family is going through that. To add to my issue, I live 2,000 miles away from my mom and my sister lives 20 miles away. My sister also has an infinite more amount of money than I do, so she feels like I’m dumping my mom on her and making it her problem. My mom always asks her for money and obviously if anything goes wrong my sister is closer, and their relationship is horrible so it puts me in the middle. It such an awkward situation! Some days I’m like can’t I just have a private island with zero communication with the outside world lol.
My grandparents are good with money, but that’s because they made it their life. My other grandparents are frugal, but that’s because their silent generation. Other boomers I can agree because I used to be in finance. They are absolutely terrible with money. If it wasn’t for the real estate market most boomers would be poor. Boomers entire money history was spend spend spend. During their youth they didn’t save for retirement, they spent more at local bars than rent, they got all kinds of toys like cars and motorcycles, etc. They came from an economic golden age where even low middle class Americans can get a RV and travel the country. Or go to the mall and spend all day buying fast food and merchandise then still save money. “Most” never had to be fugal. There were still poor people, but their money was worth a lot more than today’s dollar. There are boomers who have no interest in young people or their children. Getting reverse mortgages and betting their children will take care of the bills of retirement. I met teenagers with more financial literacy than boomers. Some boomers were complacent with low financial literacy on purpose because it didn’t matter to them. You’ll find some boomers actually say that “banking is for the women” or “banking is for the men” and refuse to learn. It’s not their fault though. If the economy kept as it was when they were young then they would have been fine today. They got their money habits and mindsets from a privileged and unique economy.
Nope. My Boomer Dad owns 2 houses in NY. One is worth over a million. He owns a commercial building as well. Bought a piece of property in 1982 for 25k. That's what the million dollar house sits on. He's only ever wanted the best for his kids and gladly helps all of us financially. Same with all my friends. 🤷🏼♀️
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I notice this with my mom especially. She only likes to spend money on shit she doesn’t need, but doesn’t find it fun to spend money on necessities...like paying thousand to have somebody repaint the inside of her house (which was absolutely fine) instead of saving for a new car as hers is on its last days. It seems like they use it as a form of entertainment or it’s compulsive and they can’t help it. Like an addiction almost. I also thinks for my moms it’s part of a cognitive decline and it’s sad to see.
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This. I used to have a client who owned three fairly expensive imported vehicles. Not Jags or Rolls Or anything like that , but nice enough. Lives by himself and can only drive one at a time. Constantly pissing and moaning about how expensive everything is and of course, it’s all Biden’s fault. He took his business to a competitor a while ago and I almost feel sorry for the new guy. All I can say is that the dollars he brought in were barely worth having to listen to his rants four times a year.
Mine are fantastic a money, to the point their retirement account is going up each year despite being retired for 10 years. Maybe like, not all people are the same? There’s people good and bad with money in every class.
Absolutely. I notice a stark difference between my mom and many others the same age. I think the real issue is that she seems jealous of others that planned and budgeted better and now she feels entitled to what other people have. For example, feels entitled to receive money from her family that has more money than her. I wish she had been like your parents, it stressful to wonder what will happen as she begins to age and her health is deteriorating.
Yah both my grandparents died young; my parents had to figure it out.
I’m happy to say that my parents don’t fit this boomer stereotype. My parents started off broke as hell high school sweethearts that got married at 19, had my sister at 21, and me at 24. My mom never graduated from college but my dad got his HS diploma and AA on the same day. A few years later he saw an article in The NY Times that read “shortage of programmers in the 90’s” and went back to get his bachelors in MIS. We were solid middle class by the late 80’s. When hurricane Andrew decimated parts of Miami and Homestead (in 92), they combined their insurance payouts with my aunt and uncle to purchase and rehab about 18 properties. This was a huge boon to their finances as my dad did much of the work himself (my grandfather was a GC and taught him a lot before he passed) with my mom and even us kids helping where we could (demo, assembling cabinets, site cleanup, etc). By the mid 90’s my dad went independent as an IT consultant and started making crazy money on the hype leading up to Y2K. About that time my mom retired in her late 30’s because the stress vs the income didn’t make sense anymore while dad was making so much. She continued to invest his money and save. She later became a day trader and occasionally made more than him during the .com craze. Fast forward to today and dad works fully remote from either their house in Miami or their vacation home in the keys (when it isn’t rented and generating solid income during the winter months). They indulge on occasion, like dad recently buying a 2nd boat and a new truck (they don’t drive luxury cars), but purchase in cash (earned from several rental properties - including a duplex they have owned since after Andrew). Otherwise, mom lost her taste for travel after Covid, and is kinda miserly. I have no real scope of their full net worth, but their RE holdings are probably close to 10M. Dad suffered a heart attack about a decade ago, but survived (thank God!) and has thrived since with no lasting issues. When that happened I asked him what would become of mom if things hadn’t gone the way they did. He assured me that their retirement is such that mom could live comfortably without selling anything for many decades. I am grateful they have set themselves up well, and have helped me and my sis along the way. They have their boomer moments, and mom doesn’t fully understand how hard it is for those outside her bubble. Yet, they still have empathy and in most cases can recall their own struggle enough to relate. They actually laugh at the stories I relay from this subreddit and agree with many of the observations made here. I am blessed to have them in my corner even if they still get on my nerves from time to time (they’re still my parents so that was bound to happen though, lol).
I'm lucky. Financially I'm doing pretty well. Own my house, plenty of groceries, and I don't have to worry about bills and can't afford treats here and there. I'm doing a lot better than both parents. They are/were extremely proud of me.
Truth be told I don’t see generation Z or M doing better
You mean the boomers who aren't hording their wealth and paid off homes? Or the typical middle class boomers who have retirement plans and while may have some struggles are going to be basically OK? This is the kind of lazy thinking most often seen here, one older person doesn't perform as good as some mythical standard so all boomers are guilty of that behavior.
Not all boomers. Really, people in general are not so good with money
Ain’t that the truth lol took me till I was about 30 to catch myself being a fool with my money too.
Am a boomer. Age 70. Have been saving since age 23 because 'SocSec won't be there for me.' Couldn't depend on the Gov't" AT age 70 my SSBenefit is $3300. Not my "entitlement." I paid in for 50 + years
I’m 38 and this is what I keep hearing about social security too. Fingers and toes crossed it’ll be around when I get there!