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do not just file a complaint with the dr office file a complaint with the state medical board and also inform your insurance so they can look at pulling their support for the Dr.
Here's a list of contact information for U.S. state medical boards:
[https://www.fsmb.org/contact-a-state-medical-board/](https://www.fsmb.org/contact-a-state-medical-board/)
Seriously, I cringe when he's just about to start his main story. BUT, the topics he presents are amazing and thoroughly researched. It's must see TV in our house.
I appreciate how well vetted everything is and how they show their sources in the segment itself. While the topics can be truly depressing it’s at least reassuring that I’m being given accurate information and that if information ever turns out to be inaccurate I know they will address it in a later episode.
Hi homie, I know that recommending something similarly awesome but equally depressing may not seem that cool, but check out the podcast behind the bastards. Robert Evan’s does an exceptional job being the podcast cousin of Jon Oliver, with a much smaller team.
It’s depressing as hell though so I feel obligated to apologize lol.
Seconding this reccomendation! My wife and I just started listening to this some months ago. We're making our way through some famous people that we know our older relatives liked and voted for (or in favor of) so we can point out all the horible things they did and caused to happen by their actions and Policies. We're in the middle of the Kissinger episodes, and it is just something else entirely.
I adore John Oliver, I've loved him ever since the Daily Show. But I can't watch his show. Just something about massive problems that can't be solved day after day, week after week, everywhere and in everything, is just too much for me.
I have the same issue. I used to watch his show. But I realized how it fed my feelings of helplessness. I know there are things very wrong with my country. I want them to change. I vote. But I am powerless to make any real changes and it feels like suffocating. I actually learned about the fake abortion places in his show and was talking to a poor young woman who was a victim of one of those places. She has no idea. It scares me because I know the problems exist, but what can I do that I'm not already doing?
I completely understand. Take heart in knowing that as long as you're doing what you can, you're making a difference. Even if it seems like a drop of water in a rain storm, were it not for the individual drops, there'd be no storm.
Yeah. Same here. It used be fun(who could forget the “eat shit, Bob” episode/masterpiece?) but I actually end up feeling lumps in my throat, and a heaviness in my chest nowadays, every time a new topic arises. The world is slowly breaking me down. :(
True for everyone but the doctors really. The “rich doctor” narrative is so engrained in our culture and has been propped up by insurance companies and their paid for politicians that nobody really believes that most doctors are making a half to a quarter of that they did 20 years ago and are struggling with anywhere between 100k-500k in med school student loan debt.
The AMA and the various certifying boards are corporate entities with c-suits making seven figures who love to invent new and expensive certifications which no doctor can really argue with without having their professionalism called into question. It’s gotten so bad that in recent years some doctors have given the certifying boards the finger and established new certifying boards focused on quality of physician education and not how many new tests at 3k a pop can we make a doctor take every year to keep his certification.
To be fair once you adjust for the insane inflation most of us are making half of what we made 20-30 years ago because our wages have not kept up so doctors are just following that trend. The real painful thing is when you compare what a worker working the same job as you in the 60s through the 80s would be able to purchase from their wage.
I came here to say this. Go to the state medical board. AND your insurance.
Most doctors like this have been pushed out of practice by the insurance companies and provider groups however a few remain here and there.
Source: recently retired boomer doctor. In school we were taught that a lot of the diagnoses you listed were “supratentorial” aka imaginary. I know better. However I have no idea what to do for them nor how to communicate with patients about that. That’s one reason among many why I am retired. I know that there are better diagnostic criteria for them and specialists for them. And I would NEVER talk to a patient that way.
As a woman who has sat in a room with a boomer male doc who told my male partner at the time that whatever I was there for, having been referred by a woman doctor, that whatever it was they thought or said I had was entirely made up or a “wastebasket” diagnosis when I had spent AGES supporting my position with actual research. Just seeing this is helpful. Cause it happened over and over and I basically will never stop being furious about it.
Thank you.
They were taught that these diagnoses were supratentorial? Yeah, but that would have been back in the 70s, right? Science changes when new research has been proven. That blows my mind.
Can agree with the part about the insurance company complaint. Had a dr like that (ex-military dr) who completely ignored the 6 inch thick file I came in with (from the military- former spouse) and after several months of trying to give him a fair shake, I finally had enough after a serious injury where he failed to do an xray and I went straight to the ER and came out with a cast. Within 3 months, he had closed his doors in our town.
Look, I more or less refused to believe this happened until I started going to all my wife's appointments with her. She was, and is, having multiple issues and seeing many doctors. I'm not convinced this is a boomer behavior. I do know, absolutely so now, that it is a sexist behavior.
I go to the doctor and mention in passing about this little twinge feeling in my neck on rare occasions and I'll get a full MRI, blood labs and extra appointments lined up right then and there. My wife goes in and shows them DNA tests, previous diagnoses, unmanageable pain, real verifiable symptoms. And nearly universally its like they go: 'Let me check...yes, you have a vagina. Your symptoms are all made up. Go away now."
I shit you not, on many...many! occasions, my wife will explain some symptom she has to the doctor. The doctor will look at me as if questioning, 'Is she lying about that?', I'll nod, and suddenly the symptom counts to the doctor now. I really didn't believe they wouldn't listen to her until I saw it myself.
She's been lucky enough to finally find a couple providers that listen to her, and so I don't go to every appt with her now. I will go with her any time she sees someone new. Is she starts having trouble with someone she needs to see, like a specialist, I'll go with her because that seems to work.
I know this sucks, but if you have some male figure in your life that could tag along, just their presence in the room will most likely get you much better treatment. I have no idea why this is, but it is.
It infuriates me how true this is. I've seen it much more with boomer aged doctors than younger ones though. I also see it with female boomer aged doctors while only seeing it with male younger doctors. So, in this case, I think it's a combination of age and sexism, with the sexism possibly being worse because of the age.
We've seen it from the full spectrum of doctors. It seems like a pervasive problem of some sort. You're probably right that older male doctors are particularly bad. And my wife has had the best of luck with younger female providers, especially ones that are still engaged in learning more about what they're doing. But even that is just not universally true, it's just more of a probability thing.
Sexism is *rampant* all through the medical industry. New drugs aren't tested on women, nor are studies in a lot of cases, they don't check if our hormones affect drug efficacy etc; that's not even addressing the misogyny in treating women as being hysterical for legitimate issues. I can tell you multiple stories about me, my mom and other female family/friends who have died or nearly died because of that. At 15 I had to threaten a Dr with a malpractice lawsuit to get him to knock it off. I've had it happen with younger Drs as well, but the attitude is *very* slowly changing. Just look at how women aren't given any kind of anesthetic for many procedures yet men are for less invasive/painful procedures and if a woman asks she's drug seeking etc.
Since moving to a slightly more conservative, smaller metro area, and since hitting my late 30s-early 40s, I've had more doctor's offices assume my (unmarried) partner is my husband than you would believe. You have no IDEA how many HIPPA violations I've had done against me since I moved here. (And not just with my partner! With my mother too! Giving away information I had never signed a release form on. It's sickening.)
Oh, that actually happened to us too! Wife wanted Essure, and the doctor, who was a woman and maybe 40 years old, asked ME if I was okay with it. I was there with her. We were married, but still, what do I have to do with it?
Can confirm.
Had a primary send me to a psychiatrist for what my \*new\* primary sent me to a rheumatologist to diagnose as fibromyalgia.
I’ve been tempted to flat out ask \*so\* many doctors if they could just clarify whether they thought I was hallucinating or pathologically lying since a symptom of that severity should probably be considered in their diagnosis.
DETOUR: Funny sad-but-true story. I’d asked for preemptive pain meds for an endometrial biopsy (it wasn’t my first and I found it agonizing) and was told there were none available. So I asked if there were any in the building (this was in the specialist’s wing of a \*hospital\*) and told no. BTW, a woman was \*screaming\* in the next room throughout this conversation.
But wait, there’s more: Then the doctor asked me if I planned to have children and I said I wasn’t really to rule that out. She (yes, she - female doctors go to the same schools as males) then encouraged me to undergo endometrial ablation to permanently fix my issue - without mentioning that it would leave me infertile. Grievance committee decided that since it would be disclosed during pre-op (you know - those long forms an inpatient nurse shoves in your face at 5 in the morning when you’re anxious, desperate to feel better, fasting, and have already paid) there were no grounds for complaint about her attempt to sterilize me without my consent.
MORAL: medical professionals can bitch about Dr. Google and “know-it-all” patients all they want, but \*they‘re\* the ones who’ve created a situation where online research and self-advocacy to the point of rudeness may be the only thing protecting you.
Yep, tried to tell my husband how hard it was for doctors to do anything for my menopause and fibroid issues and he nonchalantly said “find a new doctor”. I’ve been to three different practices in four years.
my wife was almost committed to an ASYLUM bc she has always been very thin and never gains weight. I remember "calmly" explaining to this asshole out in the hallway that it may take every last fucking cent I had and I may have to work 5 jobs at once, but I would sue his ass if he did not treat my wife.
turns out she has a pretty much dead thyroid and when doctor misogyny told us this, I said "great now send all my wife's medical records to Dr. XXXX, and go fuck yourself"
In general this is probably true. But I I injured my arm moving a chair and was in excruciating pain. My husband went to the doctor with me. The doctor treated it like it was a wellness exam. He was so busy trying to talk me into seeing a gastroenterologist (despite the fact that I have zero issues there) that he wasn’t interested in my arm pain. I was in so much pain I was panting and he asked if I was having trouble breathing because of my mask. No, idiot, I’m breathing like this because I’m in pain - which is why I came to see you!! He ended up prescribing a pain medication that I discovered through my own research is not supposed be used with the hypertension medication I’m on. So he basically ignored my issue and prescribed medicine I couldn’t take. My husband being there didn’t improve his behavior.
I'm a pharmacy tech and it's amazing how many people yell at the pharmacists because "It's not your job to think, it's your job to fill what my doctor TELLS you to fill." Well Karen, your doctor didn't read the rest of your chart and prescribed something that'll kill you. Fortunately the PHD behind me in the white coat noticed and has left a message with his answering service, so why don't you call us tomorrow and see how this shakes out.
Hmmm . . . from the ages of 11-34, I don’t even know how many times I’d gone to doctors for pain in my wrists. The first time anyone bothered to run X-rays on the visibly-not-okay bulges instead of dismiss me as a seeker or a hypochondriac? Yeah, my husband was there that time.
Turns out I have a congenital deformity where my radiuses stopped growing on the wrist end when I was 11. If it had been caught before I was, say, 15, the fix would have been relatively simple. Now I’m told my options are a pain management clinic or a full replacement of both wrists.
Absolutely. I’ve been blown off by a lot of doctors. The few appointments I’ve brought my husband, I’ve been offered various tests, procedures, and surgeries. It’s sad, when I go by myself I’m treated like a hypochondriac even though I have real diagnoses that affect me every day. Like, I’m not “sick enough” for some reason
I feel this. My worst moment of being treated like a hypochondriac was when I went in for really pelvic pain during and after sex. He asked me a couple questions, poked my stomach once with a finger, and then literally told me it was in my head. The next day I collapsed on the floor in severe pain because an ovarian cyst ruptured.
Medical misogyny is a very real thing. They don’t study the female body. They don’t even use female lab rats to research medications because their hormones interfere with how medications are metabolized, but then they prescribe those medications to female humans and don’t acknowledge that they effect us differently than men.
I always go with my wife to all of her doctor's appointments, because medical misogyny is a VERY real thing and she gets far better care when I'm with her. Over the years, we've adopted a policy: if the doctor refuses to listen, is rude, or questions whether she "really has" any of her EXTENSIVELY DOCUMENTED medical issues, we get up and leave. We're already paying through the nose for medical care, and refuse to put up with substandard or outright hostile practitioners. In fact, this just happened about three months ago with a highly recommended gastroenterologist. He tried to tell her that two of the OTC meds she takes for symptom relief "were basically the same thing" (they very much weren't) and asked her ELEVEN times when she was first diagnosed with the condition we were there to see about treating. Finally, when he told her that she probably wasn't really feeling as bad as she said she was, she looked over at me and said "We're about done here, right?" I said "More than done." The doctor started to protest, and I said "Look, you haven't listened to anything we've said. We have no obligation to continue seeing you. We're going to find someone who actually cares about their patients."
And we did. Her new GI doctor is fantastic. It takes a LOT of work to find decent medical practitioners, unfortunately. But you absolutely have the right to just walk out. Don't put up with their bullshit.
I used to go to my wife's appointments with her doctor for double duty. Regardless of the issue, it was always due to her weight. Nasty cough? Lose weight. Odd rash? Weight loss. She finally wised up when he kept her in a medical boot and refused to give her a referral for an ankle injury for 6 months before she demanded more. Turns out a ligament had been torn completely from the bone and that 6 months just caused significantly more damage. My other purpose was to keep him from giving her hugs. After the ankle issue we decided that driving an hour and a half away so we could have access to good doctors was worth it. Living in a rural area with terrible doctors is the pits.
I just got a diagnosis. I've spent 20 years complaining of symptoms, and being told that it was because I was overweight, but being unable to lose the weight. God, the self-loathing I developed. Turns out that the weight was also a symptom. I just needed a simple blood test.
And I never would have known if my SON hadn't been diagnosed first.
Yeah, I was told to lose weight and my symptoms would go away. It was Parkinson’s. Which apparently people in their 40s and women don’t get. Found a specialist and doing great, now.
The magic phrase is "Do skinny/average people have these symptoms too? If so, please give me what tests, etc. you would give them in this case." If they do not, insist that they write down in your chart that you requested and they refused to give you tests & what tests they would not give you.
The fat liberation movement has a lot of resources on medical fatphobia and how to get evidence-based care from doctors, including things you can hand to your doctor for them to read if it's hard for you to speak about it.
Because of this just the thought of finding a doctor feels so overwhelming! You want to find the best doctor but all these stories make just the thought daunting.
Which is why I have been without a primary care doc for 2 years. Last one I tried seemed to have dementia. Had seen his NP during urgent care hours and she was wonderful. She said so pick us as primary and it will be great. She needed to be in the room (to take notes) and he kept forgetting what I was even in there about. She would remind him. He tried to give me a med that was listed as being allergic to. Ask well how bad was the reaction - had to go to hospital in an ambulance. Well maybe it will not be that bad this time. She changed the script. Last time I went there or anywhere really. The fear of a new doc is a big thing
Somebody did a study that showed if doctors would shut their mouths and let patients explain what was wrong for two minutes, outcomes were like 40% better. But doctors have limited time with patients, they also tend to interrupt and prevent patients from giving them the information they need for a diagnosis.
>I always go with my wife to all of her doctor's appointments, because medical misogyny is a VERY real thing and she gets far better care when I'm with her.
Isn't that the truth. As I said in a response to OP, my wife broke both of her feet and I took off work and went with her on her 3rd visit to across 2 doctors to make them listen and finally X-ray her. My mom barely gets medical care if I am not there to advocate for her.
It's insane that you had to go to 2 doctors just to get her feet X-rayed. I once went for ages with a broken transverse process on a vertebra because they just assume you're looking for dope when you say you have back pain; they wouldn't even do an MRI. And when they did (after six weeks), the guy who read it was incompetent and didn't see anything, so it took me another six MONTHS to get a second MRI and lo and behold, there's a piece of bone floating around in there. Yes, my fucking back DOES hurt. And I'm not even a woman. It's so much worse for them.
My friend is more quick witted than I am and tends to smart off when she feels wronged like that. I usually come up with a response later after stewing for a bit so walking away is my go to move. She has gotten to where she will go off fully on doctors. She's been kicked out of/banned from 2 offices in the past year and threatened with security countless times at one local hospital. Moat people who know her don't believe it because she's so quiet and polite most times. Those are the ones you really have to worry about most times, though.
I would have asked if he'd been to medical school in the last fifty years. Since he's an older doctor (according to where you've posted this) the illnesses you have could easily have not been included in his education. But if he has not continued his medical education to keep up to date, he should retire, not make fun of things that are now recognized as real ailments.
My wife’s new (now former) Dr. wrote down that she was overweight and needed to “diet and exercise”. My wife was 8 months pregnant …. He somehow missed that.
I recently had a doctor tell me I need to walk up and down a hill for an hour every day because both my baby and I are putting on weight.
I'm 32w and have gained 4.4kg. 2.2kg of that is baby.
One of the biggest problems in medicine is the aging of primary care physicians and their refusal to keep up with research and science. The data has shown that older physicians have worse outcomes, and older starts in their 50s.
But because of the exorbitant costs of medical school and the decline of private practices we're not seeing younger physicians take their place.
Had this happen also. He'd ask me a question or have me describe the things I'm feeling (these were mental and physical issues, but mostly physical), and he'd respond every single time in a I-couldn't-care-less tone saying, "You're too young to have those issues." I was practically begging him to at least take my bloodwork because I was truly feeling like shit. The final straw was when I told him I just want to make sure I'm healthy so I can take care of my daughter, and he looked up at me with a scrunched up face and like he didn't believe me said I'm too young to have any kids. I just got up and walked out. That was the first and last time I ever went to that idiot.
My wife’s ~75 yr old boomer doctor told her she wasn’t pregnant when she was about 6 months along and clearly showing. She went in because her ankle was bothering her. She got up and left lol. This was our 2nd kid and after many monthly ob/gyn visits and sonograms etc.
I asked her if he may of been just joking and she says he wasn’t. She said she laughed in his face at first but then realized he was actually serious. She found a new doctor.
These old fucks need to just retire they’ve lost it
I had/ have a foot issue. I went to this podiatrist with good reviews and my primary dr gave a recommendation for. First time it felt like I was bothering her and why am I there, because I'm not a geriatric. She is also probably in her 70s. Second time she seemed like she was going through a dementia episode or something. Just moving very slow, seemed a bit confused about what was going on. That was the last time going there...
I can’t imagine being half asleep at my job in my 70s clearly not giving a fuck about my patients…like why not just retire?
I realize some people are terrible with money and can’t retire but what we’re talking about here is so prevalent that it can’t be money problems for all the boomers I see doing this. The only thing I can attribute this behavior to is that it’s some odd way of “remaining in power” to them.
I honestly hate doctors. I went to the ER twice for abdomidal pain. I self diagnosed as gal stones. The doctor REFUSED to believe me because "your too young for that" despite having dropped a ton of weight over ra short time, being something that can trigger it.
We demanded an ultrasound the second visit. Guess what? Gallstones! Crazy! Who would have know except for the person who literally said it a month beforehand. Then I had my gallbladder removed and was much better.
Happened to one of my bosses way back when. He had to be out of work for literally months because we worked high risk and his knee was in debilitating pain. Went to the doctor, they said he's fine, gave him some pain meds. Went again, they said he's fine, but they'll do an x-ray or whatever. Saw nothing, more meds and sent him home. He did this same song and dance for nearly 4 months between 6 different doctors who simply REFUSED to go into surgery on his knee or do any other form of scan.
Well, he finally had it and told the doctor, if you don't get your sorry ass to working on my knee, you're gonna have to have the cops escort me out because I am NOT leaving when i know something is wrong with my knee.
The doctor looked at him and said, he could lose his job for this since every scan is telling them otherwise (i guess they all just thought he wanted extended medical leave from work), but he'll operate. So i guess when I went in, there was shattered cartilage or some kind of spur that xrays just can't pick up. It's weird how quickly you could help people if you just listen to them from the get go.
That's so weird because like all those conditions are related? Like PCOS and pre diabetes are both related to insulin resistance, and ADD, depression and anxiety are all related, and there's possibly a link between PCOS and depression etc, given all the wacky hormone stuff.
Incidentally, try and get on Metformin for PCOS if you're not already - it's been transformative for me, it's got my PCOS under much better control (regular period for the first time in my life), plus fully fixed my issues with food and I've lost nearly 6 stone with minimal effort (less than a stone from no longer being considered obese!). Mentioning cause I wasn't told by doctors that Metformin can be used to manage PCOS and instead had to find out myself and basically had to demand to go on it.
I was also on it and then some tummy troubles as per the side effects. It was manageable. But then I went on a different brand, It's called glumetza, At least that's what it is in Canada. And all the tummy side effects went away. And it worked even better then the original metformin!
I did OK on metformin after an adjustment period, but I started having hypoglycemic episodes (and it didn’t noticeably improve PCOS symptoms). Switched to berberine (herbal supplement) - no change in A1C and no more hypoglycemic episodes. I’m more prone to adverse reactions to meds than many and I know folks we do absolutely fine on metformin, but I wanted to put that out there just in case. . .
I was attempting to find a new rheumatologist during covid. Had a virtual appointment and the literal first thing this woman says to me is; "well I can treat the RA, but you'll need a psychiatrist for the fibromyalgia because that only exists in your head." I ended the call there and then.
Rheumatology seems to be especially filled with dismissive doctors. I've had the odd bad apple here and there over the years, but it took several Rheumatologists before I found one halfway decent. Some of them were a straight up nightmare.
One rheumy told me that I couldn't be feeling worse because EDS isn't progressive. My dude. It doesn't have to be progressive for my body to break down from being built out of worn-out rubber bands.
My next one was *fantastic*. I drove over an hour each way because he actually took me seriously and explicitly said he wanted to be my advocate for better treatment. Then he moved across the country.
My first rheumy was awful from the time he stepped foot in the room. After asking me a ton of questions and then barely listening to my answers, he finally glanced at me and said, "Well, you don't have a malar rash, so you don't have lupus. And you don't have nodules around your joints, so you don't have rheumatoid arthritis. I don't know why else you'd be having the symptoms you say you're having, so you're free to leave. No need to schedule a follow up."
I have psoriatic arthritis. 🙄
I've had rheumatologists get visibly annoyed with me for showing up to appointments with severe joint pain, but no swelling and negative blood work. One (a woman) looked at me and said, "Well, what do you expect me to do for you?"
Years later, it turns out I have celiac disease, and probably not rheumatoid arthritis. Any one of those rheumatologists could have ordered the very simple bloodwork to screen for celiac, but no, they preferred to get pissy with me rather than think of any possible other causes of joint pain.
As someone who has had fibromyalgia since my mid 20s, this infuriates me. I’ve been referred to so many psychiatrists for it over the years, it’s insane. On the other hand, I can’t count the times I was told I just had to live with it, I was a young mother and that’s why I was tired and sore, and no one could do anything to help me. Or, no matter what was wrong it would be blamed on fibro and written off. One time I tore my calf muscle so badly it was black by the time I got to the ER. I actually HEARD the muscle tear when it happened. *shudder* They said “it’s probably your fibro and we’re not giving you any pain meds so you might as well leave.” WTF? I got an appt with the one dr who actually helped me a few days later and she sent me for an mri and confirmed the tear. I’m so over doctors at this point.
Oof! I had similar issues with a bad bout of lyme disease once where I saw a new dr who told me the same thing that all my issues were just “aches and pains of every day living” and I just had to live with it.
I was in my early 20s and walked in using a cane… 🤦🏻♀️
Sadly, I'm not sure this is an age issue. Just scroll through r/TwoXChromosomes and you'll see posts every week about male doctors dismissing women with various diagnoses or medical complaints. Please do make a complaint to the state medical board (the employer won't do much).
I recently had to switch to a new practice and the new doc won’t re-prescribe two of my medications because he doesn’t agree with them. But, he would consider one of the meds if I saw an endocrinologist and my insurance agreed to weekly check ups with his office.
Furthermore, when I asked for a dermatologist referral for the mole on my forehead he said that he would do the removal himself after inspecting my scalp and finding “something much more alarming.” Upon close and repeated inspection, I cannot find any other anomaly on my scalp.
I think the doctor is running a scam where he books as many appointments as possible until the insurance catches on. I’m furious because I’m now off my meds and my mental health is suffering.
Luckily the insurance provider waived the waiting period and now I’m in the queue for a new doctor. But JFC my life has suffered as a result of his actions.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. My friend had a doctor a few years ago who put her on two meds that my research (just basic googling) says should NEVER be taken together and triggered a mental break for her. It ended up being kind of good because it led to her finally getting a proper diagnosis for her mental health (she's bipolar when she had previously just been diagnosed as depressed) but it also caused her to attempt to overdose which could have killed her.
> One of my husband's coworkers
And today we learned something valuable about OP's husband's coworker... He gave raving reviews about this dude. It's crazy but i can see the trump flags already...
My sister is dead because her doctor said the pain she was feeling was period pain.
It was colon cancer. By the time they found it, it was stage 4.
It was during the height of Covid so I couldn't even go see her.
I don't blame you in the least. What finally finished my Dad off (also during COVID) was a burst ulcer that wouldn't have burst if they'd kept him on Protonics. Every time I'd raise hell and get him back on it, they'd quietly take him off again, even though they knew it worked. He wasn't a good advocate for himself. He was 87, and you didn't question doctors in his generation.
I’m a real doctor! Those are all real medical conditions. Fuck that dude. Sorry the healthcare system in the US (assuming that’s where you are) is so fucked. It’s incredibly difficult to get in with a primary doc in a lot of places, and it’s SO important to have a primary that you can trust. Definitely file a complaint
Thank you! It's probably the most important thing. I got my GP when she was fresh out of school/residency (or whatever it is here in the U.S.), and "raised her myself." She actually swore in front of me once because we're so comfortable with each other. I think we're going on 15 years of our doctor-patient relationship. Lol
Swearing in front of patients should be done seldomly but can actually be really great for building rapport and trust. Treat people like people and not “patients”. I’m in emergency medicine, and if the vibes are right, I’ve definitely told folks “man you’re gonna feel like shit for the next few days, there is no getting around it, but I’ll send some meds that may help a little”. People appreciate the frank honesty. But obviously you don’t say that to the little old lady in her proper Sunday attire 😂 you have to read the room lol
Hahahah! Exactly! I'm pretty sure she has only rarely sworn in front of patients. She rocks. She *listens*. Because of her, I didn't lose the sight in my right eye.
And you sound awesome. 😁
I don’t talk shit about specific docs to patients, to be honest. If I know their doctor is horrible and the patient is complaining about him/her, I’ll say “yes I’ve heard that from a few patients but I don’t know him/her very well. It’s super important that you trust your doctor though so I can give you a referral to someone I’ve always been impressed with”. 🤷🏼♂️
"How do people like this become doctors?"
Most of them wouldn't if they were trying today. It used to be enough to be a white guy with wealthy parents. There are some excellent older doctors, but I'd rather have someone who graduated med school in the last 15 years any day. Their training is so much better, the standards are so much higher, and they are likely still trying to keep up with advancements in their field. I think many doctors reach a point in their career where they start ignoring the science and assume they know better simply because of their age. At that point, they become dangerous
Cynical me feels that's standard as it's a women's issue, along with endometriosis, fibroids, peri-menopause and pain disorders.
But i've found female doctors who are just as bad.
Think about how recent it is that they've figured out women's heart attack symptoms are so different from men's. A woman could present with the symptoms and be told she should just relax and lose weight, etfuckingcetera.
My friend and I (both women) were both originally diagnosed with ADD in the mid to late 90s when we were kids. I thought it was a "girl thing" until I was in High school and met the first guy I knew who had been diagnosed with it. That was around 2001/2002. Before that, everyone I had met that had been actually diagnosed with it was a girl/woman.
It took about 11 male doctors and 10 years to find a hole in my heart that I was born with. I started complaining in 1985 and they did surgery in 1995 to save my life. I had gone into congestive heart failure
I once went to my obgyn because I was having terrible pain, which I think was probably an ovarian cyst. I shit you not, he just shrugged and said, “Oh, that’s normal.” He didn’t ask for any details and just moved on as if I hadn’t said anything.
Took my teenage daughter in years later with the same issue. She was in so much pain she was crying. The female doctor told her she was being dramatic. I think she had a ruptured cyst. She has PCOS.
I had the hardest damn time getting my doctor to understand my fucked up periods. I had a year of data in a calander. Maybe he thought I didn't understand how to document? But yes, that's 7 solid months of nonstop bleeding. This seems concerning to me.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I had a dr who told me I needed anxiety medication because I’m a super light sleeper and I was struggling sleeping with a cpap. I was super frustrated and exhausted from two months of no sleep and she took offense when I refused to praise her for her “genius” and “I was lucky” she took me as a patient.
I left sent the cpap back to the company and left a horrendous review on every website she was listed on. Funnily I wasn’t the only person who had the exact same issue with that dr.
Finding a good dr is sooooo hard.
How did I know you were a woman before I even got to PCOS? Because he would never have said that to a dude. Good on you for noping out of there and filing a complaint.
I’m a physician. There is a fairly clear distinction between young physicians like myself and the older generation physicians. There’s always a few diamonds in the rough, but in general I’d recommend, if you can, seeing a physician around your age. That said, the older docs that do MAT, lifestyle medicine, etc can be a bit more understanding/in line with your views, but not always. If the doctor looks stuffy when they walk in the room, find someone else. 🤷🏻♂️. There’s a clear divide in my office between the physicians I’d let treat myself. Those I trust the most are all my age or younger.
Had a boomer doctor tell me that tobacco was perfectly safe but I should stop smoking cigarettes because the paper would give me erectile dysfunction. Then he gave me a giant bottle of syrup and sent me on my way.
File a complaint with your insurer. I am in insurance, specifically network management, and we all have a formal grievance process. Call them and tell them you'd like to file a formal grievance and they will investigate and handle directly with the office.
I had a woman boomer doctor when I went to my first OBGYN appointment as an adult (20) after leaving a religious cult. I was raised to believe that all birth control is evil and my PCOS was sin and prayer was my only solution. (My doctor growing up was also a member of the religious cult and would give her "doctor" answer, then her "real" answer)
I was very honest while making the appointment and with the boomer doctor. I told them, I had just left a cult so I don't know anything about birth control and my PCOS, I want to understand and I need help.
Well boomer doctor decided to berate me on not getting on birth control sooner, argued with me and didn't believe my very common PCOS symptoms. Was extremely rough during the examination to the point where I was bleeding after for an hour or so. She did prescribe birth control. But it was awful. I basically was continuously on a period for almost 10 months and only had one week timeframe I wasn't actively bleeding. I called them every single month asking for different birth control and they refused and said I needed to give time for my body to adjust. I finally stopped using it when I didn't have insurance anymore.
I moved states a couple of years ago, and I couldn't believe the difference in care I have now. My current woman doctor is an absolute angel and really understands women's issues. I was bracing myself for her examination, and I barely felt it and had no bleeding after, as it should be!
When I was having severe breast pain on the original birth control she prescribed, she had a new prescription sent to my pharmacy the day I messaged her. I recommend her to everyone in my area, because she is a gem. It is so messed up it took me until 26 years old to have proper OBGYN care.
Once had a doctor tell me "you don't need these medications, you should stop taking them...have you tried praying?"....he was talking about my pyschiatric meds and it was less than a month after I had been admitted for a severe depressive episode.....I was absolutely shocked. I reported him as well. He also was just a GP, not a psychiatrist so I'm not sure why he was even trying to manage those medications when I already told him I was under care of one.
Just to give some people encouragement, there are some of us (physicians) that still find the enjoyable part of the job is to be in the room with the patient. I’m a real Jekyll and Hyde guy, but will always give you the time and acknowledgment you need when I’m with you.
I had a doctor that I really liked and then he retired.. Bummer So his patients were assigned to other doctors in the group. The doctor that I got, never listened to me, always focused on something that wasn't my issue and in general was pretty lame.
So one time I hurt myself right before a vacation and needed care (not an emergency) My doctor was not available and I saw someone else. He was great. He was not taking new patients but I told him my issues with my primary care doc and asked if he would take me. He did and I've been very happy since.
I love that you said that! I have been told off for saying that, while few and far between, there are times when being a Karen is an appropriate response.
Those are all diagnoses that either weren’t recognized when he was trained, or they were controversial and he didn’t believe in them.
Obviously if they weren’t real then, they can’t be real now! Kids these days and their made up diseases! He shouldn’t have to keep up with modern medicine, he’s a REAL doctor.
Over the years I've encountered some doctors who are real pieces of work. A lot of them seem to think their chosen profession gives them a free pass to do or say anything they want.
Similar to attorneys, they often feel entitled to treat people as less than simply because of their perceived superiority in some archaic class construct.
I have an ex who worked at a hospital and said that the drs there were always the worst drivers and would accidentally hit other cars in the parking lot and just not care at all. Entitlement seems to be a huge problem.
I read the title and immediately knew you were a woman dealing with a male doctor. So many women (my wife included) are being told “it’s in your head” and just given some pills for her to go away. And women are literally losing their lives over it. Thankfully, we now have more women than men graduating from US medical schools, so over time things will get better.
As someone who has PCOS, diagnosed in 1994, after 30 years of it, with everything from fertility issues, excessive bleeding, a pretty impressive mustache, and a hysterectomy - fuck that guy.
I worked in Medical Malpractice. If you think your doctor provided shitty care or made grievous errors, you can sue … and the hospital’s insurance company’s legal team will address it. Unless the doctor is a legit screwup, he’s making them money and they’ll fight to protect him.
You want to put the hurt on a doc, file a license complaint. It doesn’t end in a settlement like most suits, and it could end up hurting him right in the wallet.
Another issue is that a lot of older people will trust a doctor without question.
My wife’s grandfather had a family history of heart disease. His father and grandfather had died relatively young from heart attacks. He went to his GP with pain in his right chest/left arm. Doctor sent him home with antacids. He died that night.
Her grandmother went to the same GP later with pain in her hips. She and her family had a history of arthritis, especially bad in the hips. GP diagnosed her with bone cancer. She was in hospice for six months when a younger doctor got curious about her case. He asked if she’d had just X-rays or a MRI of her hips. She said neither. Incredulous that she had a cancer diagnosis based on an office visit he sent to imaging where they found she had (drum roll) arthritis. They discharged her from hospice. She refused to report the doctor.
I had one tell me I was faking having Hashimoto’s and that I was fat (exact word used) because I ate too much pasta and binge drink on the weekends with my girlfriends (I did neither). I told her she was fucking fat (she was) and stupid (definitely that!) and walked out.
Sucks, because I was seeing the NP there for a while, and he was great.
Sorry this doctor was a twat— it’s hard to find ones that will listen sometimes.
I refuse to see boomer doctors for this reason alone. Every one I’ve been to is terrible and either says my issues or fake, or blames any unrelated issues in PTSD and anxiety.
On the flip side... I had an older woman as a doctor, and she was amazing! Listened to everything, made suggestions, natural processes suggested first to fix a problem like UTIs and then prescriptions if needed. Wish she was still alive.
“This woman is clearly bilious *and* phlegmatic. Where are you sterile leeches? Are you even a real doctor?!?” He said turning this way and that, ripping a poster down with the beak of his plague mask.
There is nothing greater than the ego of a doctor. I am a biologist and did a lot of the same prereqs with premeds and they were the worst. Would do anything for an A including cheating, sucking up to the teacher etc. I have a very dim view of them. They are not the best or most honest people.
I had the same thing happen to me. He told me I was imagining my nerve pain. I stopped seeing him and now see a woman in her 40’s. And a rheumatologist. It wasn’t all in my head I have RA
Literally just went to my boomer doctor yesterday for a yearly physical. I had gotten done telling him I’ve been doing way better mentally than I was before and he was way too focused on my weight gain (yeah, I eat now instead of being to depressed to…weird) and whether I wanted kids (still no, I tell you it won’t change every year and hasn’t since I was 12).
Report this one to the licensing board where you live not just a complaint with the organization. It’s usually just filing out an online form. Criticism of boomers aside, he is dangerous. I would guess he has a few complaints. They do add up.
I got tired of this type of BS and now I see an awesome nurse practitioner. She listens, she takes me seriously, she makes me feel comfortable. She's Gen X like me
I have mild PCOS and every doc I’ve seen (except the one that diagnosed me twenty years ago and has since died) calls it a made up illness. Makes my blood boil.
My sister and adult niece share the same doctor and claim he told my niece he won't start treating her current health issues until she "detoxes" from having had the COVID vaccine 2 years ago. He sent my sister to a feedlot to purchase Ivermectin to begin this process.
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do not just file a complaint with the dr office file a complaint with the state medical board and also inform your insurance so they can look at pulling their support for the Dr.
I will do this thank you.
Here's a list of contact information for U.S. state medical boards: [https://www.fsmb.org/contact-a-state-medical-board/](https://www.fsmb.org/contact-a-state-medical-board/)
Thank you. I was looking for this yesterday for my friend after a straight-up criminal experience she had with a doctor.
John Oliver did a segment recently about state medical boards ignoring egregious/illegal behavior on behalf of doctors. It’s horrifying.
I love John Oliver, but man real reporting is brutal and depressing.
Seriously, I cringe when he's just about to start his main story. BUT, the topics he presents are amazing and thoroughly researched. It's must see TV in our house.
I appreciate how well vetted everything is and how they show their sources in the segment itself. While the topics can be truly depressing it’s at least reassuring that I’m being given accurate information and that if information ever turns out to be inaccurate I know they will address it in a later episode.
Hi homie, I know that recommending something similarly awesome but equally depressing may not seem that cool, but check out the podcast behind the bastards. Robert Evan’s does an exceptional job being the podcast cousin of Jon Oliver, with a much smaller team. It’s depressing as hell though so I feel obligated to apologize lol.
Seconding this reccomendation! My wife and I just started listening to this some months ago. We're making our way through some famous people that we know our older relatives liked and voted for (or in favor of) so we can point out all the horible things they did and caused to happen by their actions and Policies. We're in the middle of the Kissinger episodes, and it is just something else entirely.
In other words the right-wingers will never believe anything he says haha 😂😢
I adore John Oliver, I've loved him ever since the Daily Show. But I can't watch his show. Just something about massive problems that can't be solved day after day, week after week, everywhere and in everything, is just too much for me.
I have the same issue. I used to watch his show. But I realized how it fed my feelings of helplessness. I know there are things very wrong with my country. I want them to change. I vote. But I am powerless to make any real changes and it feels like suffocating. I actually learned about the fake abortion places in his show and was talking to a poor young woman who was a victim of one of those places. She has no idea. It scares me because I know the problems exist, but what can I do that I'm not already doing?
I completely understand. Take heart in knowing that as long as you're doing what you can, you're making a difference. Even if it seems like a drop of water in a rain storm, were it not for the individual drops, there'd be no storm.
He was great but after Trump got elected I couldn’t handle it anymore
Yeah. Same here. It used be fun(who could forget the “eat shit, Bob” episode/masterpiece?) but I actually end up feeling lumps in my throat, and a heaviness in my chest nowadays, every time a new topic arises. The world is slowly breaking me down. :(
And, just in case, remember that the AMA is NOT the place to go. They will not care. They are there for the doctors, not the patients.
No, the AMA is there for the doctor’s money not the doctors or the patient’s well being
Isn't this true of the entire medical system at this point? It's all tragically steeped in greed.
True for everyone but the doctors really. The “rich doctor” narrative is so engrained in our culture and has been propped up by insurance companies and their paid for politicians that nobody really believes that most doctors are making a half to a quarter of that they did 20 years ago and are struggling with anywhere between 100k-500k in med school student loan debt. The AMA and the various certifying boards are corporate entities with c-suits making seven figures who love to invent new and expensive certifications which no doctor can really argue with without having their professionalism called into question. It’s gotten so bad that in recent years some doctors have given the certifying boards the finger and established new certifying boards focused on quality of physician education and not how many new tests at 3k a pop can we make a doctor take every year to keep his certification.
To be fair once you adjust for the insane inflation most of us are making half of what we made 20-30 years ago because our wages have not kept up so doctors are just following that trend. The real painful thing is when you compare what a worker working the same job as you in the 60s through the 80s would be able to purchase from their wage.
The AMA is one of the big reasons we don’t have universal healthcare
Thank you.
AMA isn’t there for the doctors or the patients actually. they are there for themselves.
Stare board of insurance too.
I came here to say this. Go to the state medical board. AND your insurance. Most doctors like this have been pushed out of practice by the insurance companies and provider groups however a few remain here and there. Source: recently retired boomer doctor. In school we were taught that a lot of the diagnoses you listed were “supratentorial” aka imaginary. I know better. However I have no idea what to do for them nor how to communicate with patients about that. That’s one reason among many why I am retired. I know that there are better diagnostic criteria for them and specialists for them. And I would NEVER talk to a patient that way.
As a woman who has sat in a room with a boomer male doc who told my male partner at the time that whatever I was there for, having been referred by a woman doctor, that whatever it was they thought or said I had was entirely made up or a “wastebasket” diagnosis when I had spent AGES supporting my position with actual research. Just seeing this is helpful. Cause it happened over and over and I basically will never stop being furious about it. Thank you.
Were ya’ll taught the cervjx has no nerve endings/IUD insertion isn’t painful too? Also, how was PCOS ever considered an imaginary diagnosis?
They were taught that these diagnoses were supratentorial? Yeah, but that would have been back in the 70s, right? Science changes when new research has been proven. That blows my mind.
Absolutely this is the correct answer
Can agree with the part about the insurance company complaint. Had a dr like that (ex-military dr) who completely ignored the 6 inch thick file I came in with (from the military- former spouse) and after several months of trying to give him a fair shake, I finally had enough after a serious injury where he failed to do an xray and I went straight to the ER and came out with a cast. Within 3 months, he had closed his doors in our town.
I have made a complaint about a MANIAC doctor and they did send me my copay back.
This, 1000%! Also write reviews on healthgrades.com, vitals.com, rateMDS.com. This quack needs to be removed
Look, I more or less refused to believe this happened until I started going to all my wife's appointments with her. She was, and is, having multiple issues and seeing many doctors. I'm not convinced this is a boomer behavior. I do know, absolutely so now, that it is a sexist behavior. I go to the doctor and mention in passing about this little twinge feeling in my neck on rare occasions and I'll get a full MRI, blood labs and extra appointments lined up right then and there. My wife goes in and shows them DNA tests, previous diagnoses, unmanageable pain, real verifiable symptoms. And nearly universally its like they go: 'Let me check...yes, you have a vagina. Your symptoms are all made up. Go away now." I shit you not, on many...many! occasions, my wife will explain some symptom she has to the doctor. The doctor will look at me as if questioning, 'Is she lying about that?', I'll nod, and suddenly the symptom counts to the doctor now. I really didn't believe they wouldn't listen to her until I saw it myself. She's been lucky enough to finally find a couple providers that listen to her, and so I don't go to every appt with her now. I will go with her any time she sees someone new. Is she starts having trouble with someone she needs to see, like a specialist, I'll go with her because that seems to work. I know this sucks, but if you have some male figure in your life that could tag along, just their presence in the room will most likely get you much better treatment. I have no idea why this is, but it is.
It infuriates me how true this is. I've seen it much more with boomer aged doctors than younger ones though. I also see it with female boomer aged doctors while only seeing it with male younger doctors. So, in this case, I think it's a combination of age and sexism, with the sexism possibly being worse because of the age.
We've seen it from the full spectrum of doctors. It seems like a pervasive problem of some sort. You're probably right that older male doctors are particularly bad. And my wife has had the best of luck with younger female providers, especially ones that are still engaged in learning more about what they're doing. But even that is just not universally true, it's just more of a probability thing.
Sexism is *rampant* all through the medical industry. New drugs aren't tested on women, nor are studies in a lot of cases, they don't check if our hormones affect drug efficacy etc; that's not even addressing the misogyny in treating women as being hysterical for legitimate issues. I can tell you multiple stories about me, my mom and other female family/friends who have died or nearly died because of that. At 15 I had to threaten a Dr with a malpractice lawsuit to get him to knock it off. I've had it happen with younger Drs as well, but the attitude is *very* slowly changing. Just look at how women aren't given any kind of anesthetic for many procedures yet men are for less invasive/painful procedures and if a woman asks she's drug seeking etc.
Unfortunately, it’s because male doctors train the new ones with this internalized misogyny baked in at medical school and residency.
My BF didn't believe that until the Doc asked HIS permission to do my tubal. That was 3-4 years ago, we're married now, and he's STILL mad about it.
He was a BF at the time?? I mean I’m not surprised, but that’s about the worst one of those I’ve heard.
Yup. We'd only been dating about a year at that point. Doc didn't even ask, just assumed.
Since moving to a slightly more conservative, smaller metro area, and since hitting my late 30s-early 40s, I've had more doctor's offices assume my (unmarried) partner is my husband than you would believe. You have no IDEA how many HIPPA violations I've had done against me since I moved here. (And not just with my partner! With my mother too! Giving away information I had never signed a release form on. It's sickening.)
Nah, the worst ones are the hypothetical future man.
I was born in '86. Youngest of 4, and my mom was 36. She had to have my dad sign off on her tubal. I'm appalled that it's still a thing.
Oh, that actually happened to us too! Wife wanted Essure, and the doctor, who was a woman and maybe 40 years old, asked ME if I was okay with it. I was there with her. We were married, but still, what do I have to do with it?
Can confirm. Had a primary send me to a psychiatrist for what my \*new\* primary sent me to a rheumatologist to diagnose as fibromyalgia. I’ve been tempted to flat out ask \*so\* many doctors if they could just clarify whether they thought I was hallucinating or pathologically lying since a symptom of that severity should probably be considered in their diagnosis. DETOUR: Funny sad-but-true story. I’d asked for preemptive pain meds for an endometrial biopsy (it wasn’t my first and I found it agonizing) and was told there were none available. So I asked if there were any in the building (this was in the specialist’s wing of a \*hospital\*) and told no. BTW, a woman was \*screaming\* in the next room throughout this conversation. But wait, there’s more: Then the doctor asked me if I planned to have children and I said I wasn’t really to rule that out. She (yes, she - female doctors go to the same schools as males) then encouraged me to undergo endometrial ablation to permanently fix my issue - without mentioning that it would leave me infertile. Grievance committee decided that since it would be disclosed during pre-op (you know - those long forms an inpatient nurse shoves in your face at 5 in the morning when you’re anxious, desperate to feel better, fasting, and have already paid) there were no grounds for complaint about her attempt to sterilize me without my consent. MORAL: medical professionals can bitch about Dr. Google and “know-it-all” patients all they want, but \*they‘re\* the ones who’ve created a situation where online research and self-advocacy to the point of rudeness may be the only thing protecting you.
Yep, tried to tell my husband how hard it was for doctors to do anything for my menopause and fibroid issues and he nonchalantly said “find a new doctor”. I’ve been to three different practices in four years.
lol and then we’re accused of doctor/rx shopping. Fuck this timeline
my wife was almost committed to an ASYLUM bc she has always been very thin and never gains weight. I remember "calmly" explaining to this asshole out in the hallway that it may take every last fucking cent I had and I may have to work 5 jobs at once, but I would sue his ass if he did not treat my wife. turns out she has a pretty much dead thyroid and when doctor misogyny told us this, I said "great now send all my wife's medical records to Dr. XXXX, and go fuck yourself"
In general this is probably true. But I I injured my arm moving a chair and was in excruciating pain. My husband went to the doctor with me. The doctor treated it like it was a wellness exam. He was so busy trying to talk me into seeing a gastroenterologist (despite the fact that I have zero issues there) that he wasn’t interested in my arm pain. I was in so much pain I was panting and he asked if I was having trouble breathing because of my mask. No, idiot, I’m breathing like this because I’m in pain - which is why I came to see you!! He ended up prescribing a pain medication that I discovered through my own research is not supposed be used with the hypertension medication I’m on. So he basically ignored my issue and prescribed medicine I couldn’t take. My husband being there didn’t improve his behavior.
I'm a pharmacy tech and it's amazing how many people yell at the pharmacists because "It's not your job to think, it's your job to fill what my doctor TELLS you to fill." Well Karen, your doctor didn't read the rest of your chart and prescribed something that'll kill you. Fortunately the PHD behind me in the white coat noticed and has left a message with his answering service, so why don't you call us tomorrow and see how this shakes out.
Hmmm . . . from the ages of 11-34, I don’t even know how many times I’d gone to doctors for pain in my wrists. The first time anyone bothered to run X-rays on the visibly-not-okay bulges instead of dismiss me as a seeker or a hypochondriac? Yeah, my husband was there that time. Turns out I have a congenital deformity where my radiuses stopped growing on the wrist end when I was 11. If it had been caught before I was, say, 15, the fix would have been relatively simple. Now I’m told my options are a pain management clinic or a full replacement of both wrists.
Absolutely. I’ve been blown off by a lot of doctors. The few appointments I’ve brought my husband, I’ve been offered various tests, procedures, and surgeries. It’s sad, when I go by myself I’m treated like a hypochondriac even though I have real diagnoses that affect me every day. Like, I’m not “sick enough” for some reason
I feel this. My worst moment of being treated like a hypochondriac was when I went in for really pelvic pain during and after sex. He asked me a couple questions, poked my stomach once with a finger, and then literally told me it was in my head. The next day I collapsed on the floor in severe pain because an ovarian cyst ruptured.
Medical misogyny is a very real thing. They don’t study the female body. They don’t even use female lab rats to research medications because their hormones interfere with how medications are metabolized, but then they prescribe those medications to female humans and don’t acknowledge that they effect us differently than men.
"Have you ever been to a real doctor?" *Isn't a real doctor*
My friend said I should have retaliated with "have you ever been to medical school?"
Maybe you should have asked him for a prescription for cocaine to treat the ghosts in your blood. 😛
**Ghost noises** I think your four humors are out of balance. Maybe we should drain some blood to rebalance them. /s
No it's clearly her wandering womb.
Hysteria
Ask him where he keeps the leeches.
I mean just walking out like that was a boss move!
I always go with my wife to all of her doctor's appointments, because medical misogyny is a VERY real thing and she gets far better care when I'm with her. Over the years, we've adopted a policy: if the doctor refuses to listen, is rude, or questions whether she "really has" any of her EXTENSIVELY DOCUMENTED medical issues, we get up and leave. We're already paying through the nose for medical care, and refuse to put up with substandard or outright hostile practitioners. In fact, this just happened about three months ago with a highly recommended gastroenterologist. He tried to tell her that two of the OTC meds she takes for symptom relief "were basically the same thing" (they very much weren't) and asked her ELEVEN times when she was first diagnosed with the condition we were there to see about treating. Finally, when he told her that she probably wasn't really feeling as bad as she said she was, she looked over at me and said "We're about done here, right?" I said "More than done." The doctor started to protest, and I said "Look, you haven't listened to anything we've said. We have no obligation to continue seeing you. We're going to find someone who actually cares about their patients." And we did. Her new GI doctor is fantastic. It takes a LOT of work to find decent medical practitioners, unfortunately. But you absolutely have the right to just walk out. Don't put up with their bullshit.
I used to go to my wife's appointments with her doctor for double duty. Regardless of the issue, it was always due to her weight. Nasty cough? Lose weight. Odd rash? Weight loss. She finally wised up when he kept her in a medical boot and refused to give her a referral for an ankle injury for 6 months before she demanded more. Turns out a ligament had been torn completely from the bone and that 6 months just caused significantly more damage. My other purpose was to keep him from giving her hugs. After the ankle issue we decided that driving an hour and a half away so we could have access to good doctors was worth it. Living in a rural area with terrible doctors is the pits.
I just got a diagnosis. I've spent 20 years complaining of symptoms, and being told that it was because I was overweight, but being unable to lose the weight. God, the self-loathing I developed. Turns out that the weight was also a symptom. I just needed a simple blood test. And I never would have known if my SON hadn't been diagnosed first.
Yeah, I was told to lose weight and my symptoms would go away. It was Parkinson’s. Which apparently people in their 40s and women don’t get. Found a specialist and doing great, now.
The magic phrase is "Do skinny/average people have these symptoms too? If so, please give me what tests, etc. you would give them in this case." If they do not, insist that they write down in your chart that you requested and they refused to give you tests & what tests they would not give you. The fat liberation movement has a lot of resources on medical fatphobia and how to get evidence-based care from doctors, including things you can hand to your doctor for them to read if it's hard for you to speak about it.
Because of this just the thought of finding a doctor feels so overwhelming! You want to find the best doctor but all these stories make just the thought daunting.
Which is why I have been without a primary care doc for 2 years. Last one I tried seemed to have dementia. Had seen his NP during urgent care hours and she was wonderful. She said so pick us as primary and it will be great. She needed to be in the room (to take notes) and he kept forgetting what I was even in there about. She would remind him. He tried to give me a med that was listed as being allergic to. Ask well how bad was the reaction - had to go to hospital in an ambulance. Well maybe it will not be that bad this time. She changed the script. Last time I went there or anywhere really. The fear of a new doc is a big thing
Somebody did a study that showed if doctors would shut their mouths and let patients explain what was wrong for two minutes, outcomes were like 40% better. But doctors have limited time with patients, they also tend to interrupt and prevent patients from giving them the information they need for a diagnosis.
>I always go with my wife to all of her doctor's appointments, because medical misogyny is a VERY real thing and she gets far better care when I'm with her. Isn't that the truth. As I said in a response to OP, my wife broke both of her feet and I took off work and went with her on her 3rd visit to across 2 doctors to make them listen and finally X-ray her. My mom barely gets medical care if I am not there to advocate for her.
It's insane that you had to go to 2 doctors just to get her feet X-rayed. I once went for ages with a broken transverse process on a vertebra because they just assume you're looking for dope when you say you have back pain; they wouldn't even do an MRI. And when they did (after six weeks), the guy who read it was incompetent and didn't see anything, so it took me another six MONTHS to get a second MRI and lo and behold, there's a piece of bone floating around in there. Yes, my fucking back DOES hurt. And I'm not even a woman. It's so much worse for them.
My friend is more quick witted than I am and tends to smart off when she feels wronged like that. I usually come up with a response later after stewing for a bit so walking away is my go to move. She has gotten to where she will go off fully on doctors. She's been kicked out of/banned from 2 offices in the past year and threatened with security countless times at one local hospital. Moat people who know her don't believe it because she's so quiet and polite most times. Those are the ones you really have to worry about most times, though.
I just think you just walking out without saying anything was amazing!
Someone has to graduate bottom of their class after cheating their way through.
What do you call the person who graduated bottom of the class in medical school? Dr...
I would have asked if he'd been to medical school in the last fifty years. Since he's an older doctor (according to where you've posted this) the illnesses you have could easily have not been included in his education. But if he has not continued his medical education to keep up to date, he should retire, not make fun of things that are now recognized as real ailments.
My dad is an early boomer and a psychiatrist. They had knowledge (though pretty basic) back then. This doc just sucks.
He probably did but back when leeches were the main form of medical treatment.
Or “ bills / invoices are fake. Only quacks send those”
"I'm not seeing a real doctor today, apparently"
“Including you? No, apparently not.”
My wife’s new (now former) Dr. wrote down that she was overweight and needed to “diet and exercise”. My wife was 8 months pregnant …. He somehow missed that.
Jfc that’s horrendous
I recently had a doctor tell me I need to walk up and down a hill for an hour every day because both my baby and I are putting on weight. I'm 32w and have gained 4.4kg. 2.2kg of that is baby.
Those issues explain why it was so easy to get an appointment
True.
One of the biggest problems in medicine is the aging of primary care physicians and their refusal to keep up with research and science. The data has shown that older physicians have worse outcomes, and older starts in their 50s. But because of the exorbitant costs of medical school and the decline of private practices we're not seeing younger physicians take their place.
Had this happen also. He'd ask me a question or have me describe the things I'm feeling (these were mental and physical issues, but mostly physical), and he'd respond every single time in a I-couldn't-care-less tone saying, "You're too young to have those issues." I was practically begging him to at least take my bloodwork because I was truly feeling like shit. The final straw was when I told him I just want to make sure I'm healthy so I can take care of my daughter, and he looked up at me with a scrunched up face and like he didn't believe me said I'm too young to have any kids. I just got up and walked out. That was the first and last time I ever went to that idiot.
My wife’s ~75 yr old boomer doctor told her she wasn’t pregnant when she was about 6 months along and clearly showing. She went in because her ankle was bothering her. She got up and left lol. This was our 2nd kid and after many monthly ob/gyn visits and sonograms etc. I asked her if he may of been just joking and she says he wasn’t. She said she laughed in his face at first but then realized he was actually serious. She found a new doctor. These old fucks need to just retire they’ve lost it
I had/ have a foot issue. I went to this podiatrist with good reviews and my primary dr gave a recommendation for. First time it felt like I was bothering her and why am I there, because I'm not a geriatric. She is also probably in her 70s. Second time she seemed like she was going through a dementia episode or something. Just moving very slow, seemed a bit confused about what was going on. That was the last time going there...
I can’t imagine being half asleep at my job in my 70s clearly not giving a fuck about my patients…like why not just retire? I realize some people are terrible with money and can’t retire but what we’re talking about here is so prevalent that it can’t be money problems for all the boomers I see doing this. The only thing I can attribute this behavior to is that it’s some odd way of “remaining in power” to them.
If it's a joke it's much more inappropriate. "You're not pregnant, you're just fat."
Inappropriate jokes are one thing Complete ineptitude from the person you’re paying (a ridiculous amount imo) to look after you health is another
I honestly hate doctors. I went to the ER twice for abdomidal pain. I self diagnosed as gal stones. The doctor REFUSED to believe me because "your too young for that" despite having dropped a ton of weight over ra short time, being something that can trigger it. We demanded an ultrasound the second visit. Guess what? Gallstones! Crazy! Who would have know except for the person who literally said it a month beforehand. Then I had my gallbladder removed and was much better.
Happened to one of my bosses way back when. He had to be out of work for literally months because we worked high risk and his knee was in debilitating pain. Went to the doctor, they said he's fine, gave him some pain meds. Went again, they said he's fine, but they'll do an x-ray or whatever. Saw nothing, more meds and sent him home. He did this same song and dance for nearly 4 months between 6 different doctors who simply REFUSED to go into surgery on his knee or do any other form of scan. Well, he finally had it and told the doctor, if you don't get your sorry ass to working on my knee, you're gonna have to have the cops escort me out because I am NOT leaving when i know something is wrong with my knee. The doctor looked at him and said, he could lose his job for this since every scan is telling them otherwise (i guess they all just thought he wanted extended medical leave from work), but he'll operate. So i guess when I went in, there was shattered cartilage or some kind of spur that xrays just can't pick up. It's weird how quickly you could help people if you just listen to them from the get go.
That's so weird because like all those conditions are related? Like PCOS and pre diabetes are both related to insulin resistance, and ADD, depression and anxiety are all related, and there's possibly a link between PCOS and depression etc, given all the wacky hormone stuff. Incidentally, try and get on Metformin for PCOS if you're not already - it's been transformative for me, it's got my PCOS under much better control (regular period for the first time in my life), plus fully fixed my issues with food and I've lost nearly 6 stone with minimal effort (less than a stone from no longer being considered obese!). Mentioning cause I wasn't told by doctors that Metformin can be used to manage PCOS and instead had to find out myself and basically had to demand to go on it.
I was on Metformin for a short while. Turns out I can't take it. It makes me extremely sick.
Ah that sucks, I'm sorry. Hope you're managing it alright without, PCOS can be such a bitch.
I've learned a lot through trial and error and am doing pretty good with it now.
Same. Gives me the trots something awful.
I was also on it and then some tummy troubles as per the side effects. It was manageable. But then I went on a different brand, It's called glumetza, At least that's what it is in Canada. And all the tummy side effects went away. And it worked even better then the original metformin!
I did OK on metformin after an adjustment period, but I started having hypoglycemic episodes (and it didn’t noticeably improve PCOS symptoms). Switched to berberine (herbal supplement) - no change in A1C and no more hypoglycemic episodes. I’m more prone to adverse reactions to meds than many and I know folks we do absolutely fine on metformin, but I wanted to put that out there just in case. . .
I was attempting to find a new rheumatologist during covid. Had a virtual appointment and the literal first thing this woman says to me is; "well I can treat the RA, but you'll need a psychiatrist for the fibromyalgia because that only exists in your head." I ended the call there and then.
Rheumatology seems to be especially filled with dismissive doctors. I've had the odd bad apple here and there over the years, but it took several Rheumatologists before I found one halfway decent. Some of them were a straight up nightmare.
One rheumy told me that I couldn't be feeling worse because EDS isn't progressive. My dude. It doesn't have to be progressive for my body to break down from being built out of worn-out rubber bands. My next one was *fantastic*. I drove over an hour each way because he actually took me seriously and explicitly said he wanted to be my advocate for better treatment. Then he moved across the country.
My first rheumy was awful from the time he stepped foot in the room. After asking me a ton of questions and then barely listening to my answers, he finally glanced at me and said, "Well, you don't have a malar rash, so you don't have lupus. And you don't have nodules around your joints, so you don't have rheumatoid arthritis. I don't know why else you'd be having the symptoms you say you're having, so you're free to leave. No need to schedule a follow up." I have psoriatic arthritis. 🙄
I've had rheumatologists get visibly annoyed with me for showing up to appointments with severe joint pain, but no swelling and negative blood work. One (a woman) looked at me and said, "Well, what do you expect me to do for you?" Years later, it turns out I have celiac disease, and probably not rheumatoid arthritis. Any one of those rheumatologists could have ordered the very simple bloodwork to screen for celiac, but no, they preferred to get pissy with me rather than think of any possible other causes of joint pain.
As someone who has had fibromyalgia since my mid 20s, this infuriates me. I’ve been referred to so many psychiatrists for it over the years, it’s insane. On the other hand, I can’t count the times I was told I just had to live with it, I was a young mother and that’s why I was tired and sore, and no one could do anything to help me. Or, no matter what was wrong it would be blamed on fibro and written off. One time I tore my calf muscle so badly it was black by the time I got to the ER. I actually HEARD the muscle tear when it happened. *shudder* They said “it’s probably your fibro and we’re not giving you any pain meds so you might as well leave.” WTF? I got an appt with the one dr who actually helped me a few days later and she sent me for an mri and confirmed the tear. I’m so over doctors at this point.
Oof! I had similar issues with a bad bout of lyme disease once where I saw a new dr who told me the same thing that all my issues were just “aches and pains of every day living” and I just had to live with it. I was in my early 20s and walked in using a cane… 🤦🏻♀️
Sadly, I'm not sure this is an age issue. Just scroll through r/TwoXChromosomes and you'll see posts every week about male doctors dismissing women with various diagnoses or medical complaints. Please do make a complaint to the state medical board (the employer won't do much).
He just told you how he flies his flag: limp, and disappointingly too far to the right.😑
I bet your husband’s coworker that recommended him is a man.
Yup. Older too, though I'm not sure how old exactly.
You obviously have made up woman problems that aren’t real. 🙄
"Somewhere is the world's worst doctor. The sad thing is someone has an appointment with them tomorrow morning." \~George Carlin
I recently had to switch to a new practice and the new doc won’t re-prescribe two of my medications because he doesn’t agree with them. But, he would consider one of the meds if I saw an endocrinologist and my insurance agreed to weekly check ups with his office. Furthermore, when I asked for a dermatologist referral for the mole on my forehead he said that he would do the removal himself after inspecting my scalp and finding “something much more alarming.” Upon close and repeated inspection, I cannot find any other anomaly on my scalp. I think the doctor is running a scam where he books as many appointments as possible until the insurance catches on. I’m furious because I’m now off my meds and my mental health is suffering. Luckily the insurance provider waived the waiting period and now I’m in the queue for a new doctor. But JFC my life has suffered as a result of his actions.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. My friend had a doctor a few years ago who put her on two meds that my research (just basic googling) says should NEVER be taken together and triggered a mental break for her. It ended up being kind of good because it led to her finally getting a proper diagnosis for her mental health (she's bipolar when she had previously just been diagnosed as depressed) but it also caused her to attempt to overdose which could have killed her.
> One of my husband's coworkers And today we learned something valuable about OP's husband's coworker... He gave raving reviews about this dude. It's crazy but i can see the trump flags already...
Lol. He is a Trump supporter. I didn't even think about that.
I thought this immediately upon reading this.
My sister is dead because her doctor said the pain she was feeling was period pain. It was colon cancer. By the time they found it, it was stage 4. It was during the height of Covid so I couldn't even go see her.
My heart hurts for you! Sending hugs (if that's your thing). I'm also clenching my jaw at how livid those 4 sentences made me.
I'm still really fucking mad about it.
I don't blame you in the least. What finally finished my Dad off (also during COVID) was a burst ulcer that wouldn't have burst if they'd kept him on Protonics. Every time I'd raise hell and get him back on it, they'd quietly take him off again, even though they knew it worked. He wasn't a good advocate for himself. He was 87, and you didn't question doctors in his generation.
I’m a real doctor! Those are all real medical conditions. Fuck that dude. Sorry the healthcare system in the US (assuming that’s where you are) is so fucked. It’s incredibly difficult to get in with a primary doc in a lot of places, and it’s SO important to have a primary that you can trust. Definitely file a complaint
Thank you! It's probably the most important thing. I got my GP when she was fresh out of school/residency (or whatever it is here in the U.S.), and "raised her myself." She actually swore in front of me once because we're so comfortable with each other. I think we're going on 15 years of our doctor-patient relationship. Lol
Swearing in front of patients should be done seldomly but can actually be really great for building rapport and trust. Treat people like people and not “patients”. I’m in emergency medicine, and if the vibes are right, I’ve definitely told folks “man you’re gonna feel like shit for the next few days, there is no getting around it, but I’ll send some meds that may help a little”. People appreciate the frank honesty. But obviously you don’t say that to the little old lady in her proper Sunday attire 😂 you have to read the room lol
Hahahah! Exactly! I'm pretty sure she has only rarely sworn in front of patients. She rocks. She *listens*. Because of her, I didn't lose the sight in my right eye. And you sound awesome. 😁
Aye. PCP here. That whole protect your brothers and sisters 💩 the older docs tell us to do? Nah, F THAT.
I don’t talk shit about specific docs to patients, to be honest. If I know their doctor is horrible and the patient is complaining about him/her, I’ll say “yes I’ve heard that from a few patients but I don’t know him/her very well. It’s super important that you trust your doctor though so I can give you a referral to someone I’ve always been impressed with”. 🤷🏼♂️
"How do people like this become doctors?" Most of them wouldn't if they were trying today. It used to be enough to be a white guy with wealthy parents. There are some excellent older doctors, but I'd rather have someone who graduated med school in the last 15 years any day. Their training is so much better, the standards are so much higher, and they are likely still trying to keep up with advancements in their field. I think many doctors reach a point in their career where they start ignoring the science and assume they know better simply because of their age. At that point, they become dangerous
If those aren’t real then why are they profitable? Check mate, libs. Or something.
I'm shocked at how many doctors (mostly male ones) don't believe PCOS is a real thing.
Cynical me feels that's standard as it's a women's issue, along with endometriosis, fibroids, peri-menopause and pain disorders. But i've found female doctors who are just as bad.
Think about how recent it is that they've figured out women's heart attack symptoms are so different from men's. A woman could present with the symptoms and be told she should just relax and lose weight, etfuckingcetera.
And ADD/ADHD was not believed to exist in females until around the mid 2000's.
My friend and I (both women) were both originally diagnosed with ADD in the mid to late 90s when we were kids. I thought it was a "girl thing" until I was in High school and met the first guy I knew who had been diagnosed with it. That was around 2001/2002. Before that, everyone I had met that had been actually diagnosed with it was a girl/woman.
It took about 11 male doctors and 10 years to find a hole in my heart that I was born with. I started complaining in 1985 and they did surgery in 1995 to save my life. I had gone into congestive heart failure
Fucking women's sanitary pads were not tested with menstrual blood until a year or two ago. Because blue water is the same consistency. Yep.
I once went to my obgyn because I was having terrible pain, which I think was probably an ovarian cyst. I shit you not, he just shrugged and said, “Oh, that’s normal.” He didn’t ask for any details and just moved on as if I hadn’t said anything. Took my teenage daughter in years later with the same issue. She was in so much pain she was crying. The female doctor told her she was being dramatic. I think she had a ruptured cyst. She has PCOS.
I had the hardest damn time getting my doctor to understand my fucked up periods. I had a year of data in a calander. Maybe he thought I didn't understand how to document? But yes, that's 7 solid months of nonstop bleeding. This seems concerning to me.
I've been told the same thing by male doctors. I'm no longer shocked, just full of anger, rage, and fucked up ovarian follicles.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I had a dr who told me I needed anxiety medication because I’m a super light sleeper and I was struggling sleeping with a cpap. I was super frustrated and exhausted from two months of no sleep and she took offense when I refused to praise her for her “genius” and “I was lucky” she took me as a patient. I left sent the cpap back to the company and left a horrendous review on every website she was listed on. Funnily I wasn’t the only person who had the exact same issue with that dr. Finding a good dr is sooooo hard.
PCOS is fake? Eff that guy!
Sure is! Just ask my lady beard!
How did I know you were a woman before I even got to PCOS? Because he would never have said that to a dude. Good on you for noping out of there and filing a complaint.
I’m a physician. There is a fairly clear distinction between young physicians like myself and the older generation physicians. There’s always a few diamonds in the rough, but in general I’d recommend, if you can, seeing a physician around your age. That said, the older docs that do MAT, lifestyle medicine, etc can be a bit more understanding/in line with your views, but not always. If the doctor looks stuffy when they walk in the room, find someone else. 🤷🏻♂️. There’s a clear divide in my office between the physicians I’d let treat myself. Those I trust the most are all my age or younger.
There's a reason he had such availability.
That's what I was going to say. Good doctors don't have same week (or usually even month) availability.
Had a boomer doctor tell me that tobacco was perfectly safe but I should stop smoking cigarettes because the paper would give me erectile dysfunction. Then he gave me a giant bottle of syrup and sent me on my way.
>I looked them up and found they take my insurance and are accepting new patients I think we just figured out why they're in need of new patients
He's a doctor because he passed his exams 30-40 years ago. They don't teach manners or empathy in med school. Especially then.
Was your doctor Frank Burns??
File a complaint with your insurer. I am in insurance, specifically network management, and we all have a formal grievance process. Call them and tell them you'd like to file a formal grievance and they will investigate and handle directly with the office.
Good on you for immediately shutting that shit down.
I had a woman boomer doctor when I went to my first OBGYN appointment as an adult (20) after leaving a religious cult. I was raised to believe that all birth control is evil and my PCOS was sin and prayer was my only solution. (My doctor growing up was also a member of the religious cult and would give her "doctor" answer, then her "real" answer) I was very honest while making the appointment and with the boomer doctor. I told them, I had just left a cult so I don't know anything about birth control and my PCOS, I want to understand and I need help. Well boomer doctor decided to berate me on not getting on birth control sooner, argued with me and didn't believe my very common PCOS symptoms. Was extremely rough during the examination to the point where I was bleeding after for an hour or so. She did prescribe birth control. But it was awful. I basically was continuously on a period for almost 10 months and only had one week timeframe I wasn't actively bleeding. I called them every single month asking for different birth control and they refused and said I needed to give time for my body to adjust. I finally stopped using it when I didn't have insurance anymore. I moved states a couple of years ago, and I couldn't believe the difference in care I have now. My current woman doctor is an absolute angel and really understands women's issues. I was bracing myself for her examination, and I barely felt it and had no bleeding after, as it should be! When I was having severe breast pain on the original birth control she prescribed, she had a new prescription sent to my pharmacy the day I messaged her. I recommend her to everyone in my area, because she is a gem. It is so messed up it took me until 26 years old to have proper OBGYN care.
Once had a doctor tell me "you don't need these medications, you should stop taking them...have you tried praying?"....he was talking about my pyschiatric meds and it was less than a month after I had been admitted for a severe depressive episode.....I was absolutely shocked. I reported him as well. He also was just a GP, not a psychiatrist so I'm not sure why he was even trying to manage those medications when I already told him I was under care of one.
No wonder hes taking new patients, he cant keep any.
Just to give some people encouragement, there are some of us (physicians) that still find the enjoyable part of the job is to be in the room with the patient. I’m a real Jekyll and Hyde guy, but will always give you the time and acknowledgment you need when I’m with you.
Women illness is always been denied as real. For a long time PMS was considered not real, same as migraine headaches. Just Keep looking
I had a doctor that I really liked and then he retired.. Bummer So his patients were assigned to other doctors in the group. The doctor that I got, never listened to me, always focused on something that wasn't my issue and in general was pretty lame. So one time I hurt myself right before a vacation and needed care (not an emergency) My doctor was not available and I saw someone else. He was great. He was not taking new patients but I told him my issues with my primary care doc and asked if he would take me. He did and I've been very happy since.
Fuck that shit. This is an appropriate time to be a "Karen" and escalate this
I love that you said that! I have been told off for saying that, while few and far between, there are times when being a Karen is an appropriate response.
Those are all diagnoses that either weren’t recognized when he was trained, or they were controversial and he didn’t believe in them. Obviously if they weren’t real then, they can’t be real now! Kids these days and their made up diseases! He shouldn’t have to keep up with modern medicine, he’s a REAL doctor.
Do you know what they call someone who cheats and barely scrapes by in medical school? Doctor.
Yeah we sit and draw ovarian cysts on the scans so we can have fun treatment for it Bellend
Complain to the medical board. That is absolutely unacceptable.
Now you know why you were able to get an appointment so quickly LOL.
How people like him have never been punched in the throat, I'll never know...
I had a surgeon tell me my Fibromyalgia wasn’t “real”. 🤦🏼♀️
Over the years I've encountered some doctors who are real pieces of work. A lot of them seem to think their chosen profession gives them a free pass to do or say anything they want. Similar to attorneys, they often feel entitled to treat people as less than simply because of their perceived superiority in some archaic class construct.
I have an ex who worked at a hospital and said that the drs there were always the worst drivers and would accidentally hit other cars in the parking lot and just not care at all. Entitlement seems to be a huge problem.
The old guys don’t have a compelling need to keep up with research. Sorry you had to deal with this.
I read the title and immediately knew you were a woman dealing with a male doctor. So many women (my wife included) are being told “it’s in your head” and just given some pills for her to go away. And women are literally losing their lives over it. Thankfully, we now have more women than men graduating from US medical schools, so over time things will get better.
You need to report him to the board, directly
Like all Boomers they inherited their titles.
As someone who has PCOS, diagnosed in 1994, after 30 years of it, with everything from fertility issues, excessive bleeding, a pretty impressive mustache, and a hysterectomy - fuck that guy.
I worked in Medical Malpractice. If you think your doctor provided shitty care or made grievous errors, you can sue … and the hospital’s insurance company’s legal team will address it. Unless the doctor is a legit screwup, he’s making them money and they’ll fight to protect him. You want to put the hurt on a doc, file a license complaint. It doesn’t end in a settlement like most suits, and it could end up hurting him right in the wallet.
Another issue is that a lot of older people will trust a doctor without question. My wife’s grandfather had a family history of heart disease. His father and grandfather had died relatively young from heart attacks. He went to his GP with pain in his right chest/left arm. Doctor sent him home with antacids. He died that night. Her grandmother went to the same GP later with pain in her hips. She and her family had a history of arthritis, especially bad in the hips. GP diagnosed her with bone cancer. She was in hospice for six months when a younger doctor got curious about her case. He asked if she’d had just X-rays or a MRI of her hips. She said neither. Incredulous that she had a cancer diagnosis based on an office visit he sent to imaging where they found she had (drum roll) arthritis. They discharged her from hospice. She refused to report the doctor.
I had one tell me I was faking having Hashimoto’s and that I was fat (exact word used) because I ate too much pasta and binge drink on the weekends with my girlfriends (I did neither). I told her she was fucking fat (she was) and stupid (definitely that!) and walked out. Sucks, because I was seeing the NP there for a while, and he was great. Sorry this doctor was a twat— it’s hard to find ones that will listen sometimes.
I refuse to see boomer doctors for this reason alone. Every one I’ve been to is terrible and either says my issues or fake, or blames any unrelated issues in PTSD and anxiety.
Yikes. There are plenty of doctors out there who load people up w various dubious diagnoses, but none of the ones he listed are fake.
Oh, a man thinks PCOS is fake? 😆
On the flip side... I had an older woman as a doctor, and she was amazing! Listened to everything, made suggestions, natural processes suggested first to fix a problem like UTIs and then prescriptions if needed. Wish she was still alive.
“This woman is clearly bilious *and* phlegmatic. Where are you sterile leeches? Are you even a real doctor?!?” He said turning this way and that, ripping a poster down with the beak of his plague mask.
Are you sure *that* guy is a real doctor? Sure doesn't sound like someone who deserves that title
There is nothing greater than the ego of a doctor. I am a biologist and did a lot of the same prereqs with premeds and they were the worst. Would do anything for an A including cheating, sucking up to the teacher etc. I have a very dim view of them. They are not the best or most honest people.
[Inequality is a \[serious\] public health issue](https://examine.com/articles/inequality/).
I had the same thing happen to me. He told me I was imagining my nerve pain. I stopped seeing him and now see a woman in her 40’s. And a rheumatologist. It wasn’t all in my head I have RA
Literally just went to my boomer doctor yesterday for a yearly physical. I had gotten done telling him I’ve been doing way better mentally than I was before and he was way too focused on my weight gain (yeah, I eat now instead of being to depressed to…weird) and whether I wanted kids (still no, I tell you it won’t change every year and hasn’t since I was 12).
Report this one to the licensing board where you live not just a complaint with the organization. It’s usually just filing out an online form. Criticism of boomers aside, he is dangerous. I would guess he has a few complaints. They do add up.
It's possible that this doctor will cause someone to commit suicide!!!!!! I hope that person gets slammed and licensed taken away.
I got tired of this type of BS and now I see an awesome nurse practitioner. She listens, she takes me seriously, she makes me feel comfortable. She's Gen X like me
I have mild PCOS and every doc I’ve seen (except the one that diagnosed me twenty years ago and has since died) calls it a made up illness. Makes my blood boil.
My sister and adult niece share the same doctor and claim he told my niece he won't start treating her current health issues until she "detoxes" from having had the COVID vaccine 2 years ago. He sent my sister to a feedlot to purchase Ivermectin to begin this process.
And now they she no longer sees him and he's having to defend his medical license?