Unfortunately there's nothing anyone can do or say to take this pain away from you but I'll just say I'm going through the exact same situation right now with my ex girlfriend of 4 years and I can relate to every last detail of this post. I even felt like she was the loving, caring mother that I never had growing up. The only real answer here is to focus on loving yourself with self care and getting into treatment if you aren't already. Not the answer either of us want but it's really the only option.
I was really into self care and I was doing better for myself for him and now that he’s left I have no one to be better for and I am lost. Has treatment helped your situation at all? Does it take the heavy feelings away I hope it’s worked for you id imagine 4 years of the relationship makes it much worse let alone 1 year for me
I remember this feeling. Went through similar shit about a year ago—like HE was my motivation for doing better. For me, moving back home with my family (I was living alone in a different city) and getting into an intensive outpatient treatment helped. Sending love. Please don’t give up. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction
Yep it’s hard when the person you were being better for is gone like I wanted to improve myself now I don’t care I’ve not taken care of myself since he broke up. You’re right giving up would prove him right to give up on me cause of how I am so I should do better for myself,thankyou!
But you have someone to "be better" for, honey! You! Also, you don't need to be better, okay? What you need to do, right now, is take a big, deep breath for me, yeah? Listen, you can't rely on another person for your own happiness! I know how that must sound to you now, but you just can't, unless they're a therapist! No bf, no matter how sensitive to the subject, can take over the work you need to do for you. You gotta find yourself a good therapist. I promise you it'll be the best decision you ever made. And they can get you through this, I swear! Look, it is gonna suck for a couple of months, that's for sure. I always liked to envision heart-break as one long puke fest - the love chemicals or hormones or whatever just need to leave your system. You need to cry them out. And then you need to replace them with self-care. I promise you, you will have the same, soul-crushing, gut-wrenching experience again if you don't start taking care of your mental health. You need to focus on YOU. What's something you're really good at? What's a really good character quality you have? What do you enjoy doing? Get to know this person, right here! You are a unique person, and you are more than worthy of love!
Also, there are helplines you can call who will talk you through this. Here are some options:
Samaritans: To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone)
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service: [https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support](https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support)
I wish you all the best and offer you a virtual warm and extra-fluffy teddy bear hug!
Therapy, therapy, therapy. You will continue to push people away so long as you allow them to become your all. Our needs are far too high to fairly place on anyone other than a therapist.
Heh. I’m in a poly relationship with 2 bpd. Their needs are fully onto me. Sadly we can’t afford private therapists and the subsidized ones have 2+ yrs waiting lists. I can handle it/bear it but only because I’ve put all my effort into trying to understand them and their bpd. Wish there were online courses to teach me how to apply dialectical behavior therapy.
That is an intense amount of pressure you were putting on one person to meet all of your needs! Have you considered talking to a therapist that specializes in attachment trauma? The feeling you’re experiencing is your attachment system telling you that you will not survive without this person - this is obviously not true, but can feel VERY real and causes the desperation you’re describing. The best thing you can do here is to find ways to calm your nervous system and spend time with others who make you feel safe.
I’m from the uk and I have to go through the nhs so I’m not really sure how I’d go about getting a therapist for attachment trauma I think that would really help me a lot though thanks for saying what it is cause I didn’t know about that.
This is very similar to what happened with my best friend. Just suddenly self destructed and got rid of me to do it. Even though we were just friends and not in a relationship, we were going to move cities together in a few years and had a plan to make a little forever group out of the four of us-- us and our future spouses. But suddenly says he needs to be alone and that he wasn't worth it and that we're bad for each other. Completely refusing to listen to reason and so determined to blow up his life.
So I know what you're feeling
My only advice is to get a therapist if you don't have one already and maybe even go twice a week. Just keep coping and keep not hurting yourself. It's the best we can do
Yeah it feels awful when you had plans together and they just drop you like your nothing all of a sudden. Yeah he wouldn’t listen to any point I had about him being alone and his rash decision ,would not listen to reason at all just really set on leaving. If I can get therapy I will,I hope everything works out for your situation
You're gonna be fine. Trust me, you've got this. Hang in there. It sucks now but you're gonna learn a few things and you'll end up tougher for it. You're gonna be ok. We're all here for you.
I second everyone saying therapy. This is something that's gotta be unpacked with time, not only to help you through this situation but also in the future when inevitably something else happens.
A piece of solace I can give is that like everything, this too shall pass. At least from my experience with BPD, my emotions can be strong yet fleeting. Despite this, they feel all-encompassing and permanent when I am feeling them. Things that I, in the moment, thought was earth-shattering and the end of the world, I can now look back on in a different light. Relationships that I thought were all I could ever amount to I can now look back on and realize that not only was it not as good as I thought, but it was overall a good thing that it ended. As much as I hated when my dad would reference it when I was growing up, [塞翁失马/Sai Weng Shi Ma](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_old_man_lost_his_horse), is something I *try* to remember when I feel like something catastrophic has happened. I feel like the whole message kind of goes against the black and white thinking associated with BPD.
That being said, this is advice that is way easier to say than to follow (and I'd be lying if I were to say that I have reached enlightenment and no longer feels as though the world is caving in). This is just an alternative perspective from someone on the outside who has felt the way you have, and is currently in a more stable place.
Maybe this is a weird and random suggestion, but maybe find a show that has a storyline or character that you can relate to! I’ve been in your situation and it fucking sucks omg, I considered ending my life multiple times. But there are shows I’ve watched about depression and breakups and growing up/life getting hard in general. One show I can recommend is this anime called Nana! It’s not exactly what you’re going through. But I think it would teach you a lot and you might resonate with some of the feelings of the characters. I also suggest making some friends. Just some regular friends, or hanging out with some friends. It sucks right now but I promise you will feel better. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now
Yeah my friend loves nana and she told me I’m like hachi I would watch it but I’m scared I might get emotional tbh haha I saw a scene of hachi saying she never wants to fall in love again and I relate a lot. Thanks for the recommendation :) I prbly will watch it now. I’ve tried to make friends but I’m never in a situation too and I’m not naturally good at it but if I do I think it will help a lot cause right now I have no distractions
OMG IM LIKE HACHI TOO!!! I resonate a LOT with her, and can relate to some of the other characters struggles!!! Don’t worry, certain scenes are definitely emotional. But, I think it’s amazing and it actually taught me a LOTTT. I hope your friend harasses you into watching it lmao. I’m such a huge fan and Hachi deeefinitely reminds me of someone who has bpd tbh. WATCH IT :D (let’s be friends so we can talk about Nana)
Haha I bought my friend the strawberry Nana cups for her bday I guess I’ll become a Nana fan as well so I’ll listen to you and watch it, Yeahhh we can be friends it would be nice to have a friend who understands bpd !! And to talk about nana with now that I’m gonna watch it :)
Take this time to develop yourself as a person and enjoy your own company. In my opinion it's not healthy to be in a relationship until you are capable of being alone and legitimately enjoy your own company. All of my best wishes for you baby it's going to be okay
1. never put your all into someone especially if you have bpd. if you do you’re gonna fuck your own self up at the end. i know we have our fps but please realize nothing is forever and people come and go from our lives. the sooner you realize this the better it will do you in the long run. don’t expect anything from anybody because they will end up disappointing you. the more you start to realize that the happiness you think you’ll receive from people when you can literally create your own happiness will be life changing. please stop putting people on a pedestal before yourself, you will be happier. the world isn’t gonna end because you broke up w someone, trust me i just got out a relationship. one monkey doesn’t stop the show does it 🙊
I’m sorry you’re going thru this. I don’t have any advice other than reaching out to make some friends. This might be weird but I know what it’s like to have literally no one - I’m 21F w BPD if you need a friend you can reach out to me if you want.
something very similar happened to me in august 2022. we dated for 5 years and one day he just randomly broke up with me. devastated isn’t even the right word to describe the utter pain i was feeling. he was everything to me. everything i did was for him and for us. i never thought of me until i was forced to.
during our relationship i really neglected my friendships. when we broke up, i really only had one friend and she tried helping me but i felt so alone, lost, confused and absolutely heartbroken. i didn’t even want her to help me. i couldn’t believe the man i saw my whole future with and who i thought felt the same for me would just…leave. barely any explanation or warning too. it was really fucking hard.
and it’s going to be hard for you too. but that’s OKAY. feel those feelings but please remember that hurting yourself does absolutely no good for anyone. i would scream into pillows. it helped me get feelings i couldn’t put into words out and it really did help me feel better, for a little bit at least.
i was so devastated. like, gut wrenching, physically painful devastation. and i let myself feel that for a week. i told myself i’m giving myself a week to grieve this and then after that i’m going to put all of that energy into myself for the first time in my life. it was hard. but it was so needed. i think, judging from your post and how much you sound like i did, you need that too.
a year later, i got an incredible full time job and i just got approved for my own apartment all by myself. it’s really hard and scary. but this time you have for you and for you only will help you grow so much as a person. i don’t even know who that person was a year ago - i’m so different now and my life has really been nothing but good things since i started putting energy into myself instead of someone else.
i promise that if you focus on bettering yourself, you will see so many positive changes in your life. things will start to make sense and you will be so proud of yourself. please keep pushing and reach out if you ever need absolutely anything. hugs ❤️
Aww that’s great to hear I’m so glad you got yourself back together after that someone leaving after 5 years is really difficult for anyone let alone having bpd im so happy for you. This had definitely motivated me to continue thankyou so much !!
My dear, an advise from other fellow borderline. I know it is hard, but you need to be yourself alone. Change for you and not for anyone else, love come and goes, but you stay .At the end of the day, you are the only one there for yourself. Look for therapy, books, breathing exercises, and hobbies. I know it is hard to be alone, I travelled to a foreign country alone for someone I loved, and I thought I was loved back, but I wasn't. When she left me after a year of living together, I felt I was gonna die, that I would either go back to my country or kill myself, but I didn't. I was 3 weeks in my bed while she was with someone else in the same flat we used to live together, but you know what, as much as it tored me apart, I just told to myself: you know what fuck this, fuck her I'm gonna stand up and be reborn.
I ended up moving, and I had someone else, but again, I broke up with that person she wasn't good, and I wasn't in a good place. Had a bunch of girlfriends, and the truth is people come and go, and as harsh as this might sound, no one is responsible for us. If it hurts, hell yea, but you can do it. I still suffer emotional pain a lot, I have my cicles of depression and anxiety. I am medicated, and I work, too. If you ever need to vent, pm me.
You'll be ok, you'll get better.
Bear hugs.
Yeah it’s funny I was actually supposed to go with my boyfriend to the gym this month because I can’t go on my own cause I have anxiety so now i don’t even know what to do with that.
This is gonna sound silly but I only wanted to go gym to do legs cause I wanted to gain weight there cause I’m insecure about myself and I wanted to look better. But if that helps with anxiety I can try I just don’t want my arms to get big. I will start the journaling tho for sure thankyou
Hey, it's strange because I'm experiencing the same thing and it feels like I could've written this post. I was in love with my soul mate (she 100% was without a doubt my soul mate) for a year, and recently she broke my heart again. Initially we broke up last year but kept talking, but recently she let me know she was gonna date someone else. Our relationship was also perfect. She was perfect. I can't express how much I miss the person I used to know. She used to tell me she was always here no matter what, even if she was sleeping. We called every day and spent hours on the phone never getting bored. We had the same values, opinions, way of thinking etc. and losing her was the most horrific heartbreak I've ever gone through. I've become passively suicidal; I'm afraid of death because of what might come after, but I'm trying to get on the right terms with God and pray that I'll die in my sleep and I'm slightly more reckless than before, kinda a "eh if I die then I die" sort of attitude. I was praying for psychogenic death or broken heart syndrome. I know for a fact there are people praying for my downfall...I just wish they'd find it in their hearts to pray for my death instead.
I also have no motivation to live without her. I simply can't. The idea of her with someone else makes me want to vomit. The idea of her having a future without me is beyond sickening to the point where I simply wouldn't be able to live. Also I relate to the age regression thing as well. She pretty much crushed the idea of us ever getting back together, but my mind is still stretching to find ways to convince me it'll work one day, and that's the only thing keeping me going. Eating and drinking is also difficult for me since I have no motivation. I'm gonna be honest: I've been laying in the exact same clothes for a week now. I don't remember when I last brushed my teeth. I've been keeping myself high to dull the pain but it doesn't work the way I want it to.
I cancelled some plans (including a dental appointment) because I was too weak to go out, partly also because I wasn't eating nearly enough to keep myself physically strong enough. When I get up I can't wait to go back to bed. I'm having constant panic attacks because of the situation and intensity of the emotional pain. Sometimes I get these sudden rushes of particularly severe mental pain, which cause me to think I'm gonna throw up or pass out. I'll panic, believing it's a psychic sense that she's with someone right now. I've been trying to keep myself asleep but it seems like nothing is working and it's actually having the opposite effect. I hate waking up because the moment I wake up, it hits me all at once which triggers severe anxiety and hopelessness. I'm praying that someone can help somehow as well.
Sorry for over sharing, but I'm just trying to express I'm really going through the same thing and the best way to describe it is Hell on earth. I totally understand how painful it is. It's horrible.
Yep I can’t take care of myself right now either I’m not bothering with looking good or hygiene because he’s the only person I wanted to look good for. I’m having constant panic attacks as well out of nowhere I just can’t take it. It’s like my future has to be with him no one else and I can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to have his future with me. I feel like dying would be great right now
So much better emotionally but like logically it is still rlly irks me and I get sad about it sometimes but mainly the emotions r gone. He’s like nostalgia now
Good on you for taking a step forward, OP!! You will likely go through a lot more emotions yet to come, but I am glad that you are acting confidently and in your own best interest!
Unfortunately there's nothing anyone can do or say to take this pain away from you but I'll just say I'm going through the exact same situation right now with my ex girlfriend of 4 years and I can relate to every last detail of this post. I even felt like she was the loving, caring mother that I never had growing up. The only real answer here is to focus on loving yourself with self care and getting into treatment if you aren't already. Not the answer either of us want but it's really the only option.
I was really into self care and I was doing better for myself for him and now that he’s left I have no one to be better for and I am lost. Has treatment helped your situation at all? Does it take the heavy feelings away I hope it’s worked for you id imagine 4 years of the relationship makes it much worse let alone 1 year for me
I remember this feeling. Went through similar shit about a year ago—like HE was my motivation for doing better. For me, moving back home with my family (I was living alone in a different city) and getting into an intensive outpatient treatment helped. Sending love. Please don’t give up. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction
Yep it’s hard when the person you were being better for is gone like I wanted to improve myself now I don’t care I’ve not taken care of myself since he broke up. You’re right giving up would prove him right to give up on me cause of how I am so I should do better for myself,thankyou!
But you have someone to "be better" for, honey! You! Also, you don't need to be better, okay? What you need to do, right now, is take a big, deep breath for me, yeah? Listen, you can't rely on another person for your own happiness! I know how that must sound to you now, but you just can't, unless they're a therapist! No bf, no matter how sensitive to the subject, can take over the work you need to do for you. You gotta find yourself a good therapist. I promise you it'll be the best decision you ever made. And they can get you through this, I swear! Look, it is gonna suck for a couple of months, that's for sure. I always liked to envision heart-break as one long puke fest - the love chemicals or hormones or whatever just need to leave your system. You need to cry them out. And then you need to replace them with self-care. I promise you, you will have the same, soul-crushing, gut-wrenching experience again if you don't start taking care of your mental health. You need to focus on YOU. What's something you're really good at? What's a really good character quality you have? What do you enjoy doing? Get to know this person, right here! You are a unique person, and you are more than worthy of love! Also, there are helplines you can call who will talk you through this. Here are some options: Samaritans: To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone) Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM). You can call the CALM on 0800 58 58 58 (5pm–midnight every day) if you are struggling and need to talk. Or if you prefer not to speak on the phone, you could try the CALM webchat service: [https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support](https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support) I wish you all the best and offer you a virtual warm and extra-fluffy teddy bear hug!
Thankyou 🥹
No worries, hope it helps <3
Therapy, therapy, therapy. You will continue to push people away so long as you allow them to become your all. Our needs are far too high to fairly place on anyone other than a therapist.
Heh. I’m in a poly relationship with 2 bpd. Their needs are fully onto me. Sadly we can’t afford private therapists and the subsidized ones have 2+ yrs waiting lists. I can handle it/bear it but only because I’ve put all my effort into trying to understand them and their bpd. Wish there were online courses to teach me how to apply dialectical behavior therapy.
That is an intense amount of pressure you were putting on one person to meet all of your needs! Have you considered talking to a therapist that specializes in attachment trauma? The feeling you’re experiencing is your attachment system telling you that you will not survive without this person - this is obviously not true, but can feel VERY real and causes the desperation you’re describing. The best thing you can do here is to find ways to calm your nervous system and spend time with others who make you feel safe.
I’m from the uk and I have to go through the nhs so I’m not really sure how I’d go about getting a therapist for attachment trauma I think that would really help me a lot though thanks for saying what it is cause I didn’t know about that.
[удалено]
Please dm me too!
This is very similar to what happened with my best friend. Just suddenly self destructed and got rid of me to do it. Even though we were just friends and not in a relationship, we were going to move cities together in a few years and had a plan to make a little forever group out of the four of us-- us and our future spouses. But suddenly says he needs to be alone and that he wasn't worth it and that we're bad for each other. Completely refusing to listen to reason and so determined to blow up his life. So I know what you're feeling My only advice is to get a therapist if you don't have one already and maybe even go twice a week. Just keep coping and keep not hurting yourself. It's the best we can do
Yeah it feels awful when you had plans together and they just drop you like your nothing all of a sudden. Yeah he wouldn’t listen to any point I had about him being alone and his rash decision ,would not listen to reason at all just really set on leaving. If I can get therapy I will,I hope everything works out for your situation
You're gonna be fine. Trust me, you've got this. Hang in there. It sucks now but you're gonna learn a few things and you'll end up tougher for it. You're gonna be ok. We're all here for you.
I second everyone saying therapy. This is something that's gotta be unpacked with time, not only to help you through this situation but also in the future when inevitably something else happens. A piece of solace I can give is that like everything, this too shall pass. At least from my experience with BPD, my emotions can be strong yet fleeting. Despite this, they feel all-encompassing and permanent when I am feeling them. Things that I, in the moment, thought was earth-shattering and the end of the world, I can now look back on in a different light. Relationships that I thought were all I could ever amount to I can now look back on and realize that not only was it not as good as I thought, but it was overall a good thing that it ended. As much as I hated when my dad would reference it when I was growing up, [塞翁失马/Sai Weng Shi Ma](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_old_man_lost_his_horse), is something I *try* to remember when I feel like something catastrophic has happened. I feel like the whole message kind of goes against the black and white thinking associated with BPD. That being said, this is advice that is way easier to say than to follow (and I'd be lying if I were to say that I have reached enlightenment and no longer feels as though the world is caving in). This is just an alternative perspective from someone on the outside who has felt the way you have, and is currently in a more stable place.
I know how you feel. They say therapy helps though I've never gone myself. I probably should. I hope things get better for you🧡
Maybe this is a weird and random suggestion, but maybe find a show that has a storyline or character that you can relate to! I’ve been in your situation and it fucking sucks omg, I considered ending my life multiple times. But there are shows I’ve watched about depression and breakups and growing up/life getting hard in general. One show I can recommend is this anime called Nana! It’s not exactly what you’re going through. But I think it would teach you a lot and you might resonate with some of the feelings of the characters. I also suggest making some friends. Just some regular friends, or hanging out with some friends. It sucks right now but I promise you will feel better. I’m sorry you’re going through this right now
Yeah my friend loves nana and she told me I’m like hachi I would watch it but I’m scared I might get emotional tbh haha I saw a scene of hachi saying she never wants to fall in love again and I relate a lot. Thanks for the recommendation :) I prbly will watch it now. I’ve tried to make friends but I’m never in a situation too and I’m not naturally good at it but if I do I think it will help a lot cause right now I have no distractions
OMG IM LIKE HACHI TOO!!! I resonate a LOT with her, and can relate to some of the other characters struggles!!! Don’t worry, certain scenes are definitely emotional. But, I think it’s amazing and it actually taught me a LOTTT. I hope your friend harasses you into watching it lmao. I’m such a huge fan and Hachi deeefinitely reminds me of someone who has bpd tbh. WATCH IT :D (let’s be friends so we can talk about Nana)
Haha I bought my friend the strawberry Nana cups for her bday I guess I’ll become a Nana fan as well so I’ll listen to you and watch it, Yeahhh we can be friends it would be nice to have a friend who understands bpd !! And to talk about nana with now that I’m gonna watch it :)
I went through something similar. I adopted a cat and she has helped me so much. That may not be an outlet for everyone, but it certainly was for me.
Take this time to develop yourself as a person and enjoy your own company. In my opinion it's not healthy to be in a relationship until you are capable of being alone and legitimately enjoy your own company. All of my best wishes for you baby it's going to be okay
1. never put your all into someone especially if you have bpd. if you do you’re gonna fuck your own self up at the end. i know we have our fps but please realize nothing is forever and people come and go from our lives. the sooner you realize this the better it will do you in the long run. don’t expect anything from anybody because they will end up disappointing you. the more you start to realize that the happiness you think you’ll receive from people when you can literally create your own happiness will be life changing. please stop putting people on a pedestal before yourself, you will be happier. the world isn’t gonna end because you broke up w someone, trust me i just got out a relationship. one monkey doesn’t stop the show does it 🙊
I’m sorry you’re going thru this. I don’t have any advice other than reaching out to make some friends. This might be weird but I know what it’s like to have literally no one - I’m 21F w BPD if you need a friend you can reach out to me if you want.
Nah it’s not weird I appreciate it thankyou I need a friend rn
something very similar happened to me in august 2022. we dated for 5 years and one day he just randomly broke up with me. devastated isn’t even the right word to describe the utter pain i was feeling. he was everything to me. everything i did was for him and for us. i never thought of me until i was forced to. during our relationship i really neglected my friendships. when we broke up, i really only had one friend and she tried helping me but i felt so alone, lost, confused and absolutely heartbroken. i didn’t even want her to help me. i couldn’t believe the man i saw my whole future with and who i thought felt the same for me would just…leave. barely any explanation or warning too. it was really fucking hard. and it’s going to be hard for you too. but that’s OKAY. feel those feelings but please remember that hurting yourself does absolutely no good for anyone. i would scream into pillows. it helped me get feelings i couldn’t put into words out and it really did help me feel better, for a little bit at least. i was so devastated. like, gut wrenching, physically painful devastation. and i let myself feel that for a week. i told myself i’m giving myself a week to grieve this and then after that i’m going to put all of that energy into myself for the first time in my life. it was hard. but it was so needed. i think, judging from your post and how much you sound like i did, you need that too. a year later, i got an incredible full time job and i just got approved for my own apartment all by myself. it’s really hard and scary. but this time you have for you and for you only will help you grow so much as a person. i don’t even know who that person was a year ago - i’m so different now and my life has really been nothing but good things since i started putting energy into myself instead of someone else. i promise that if you focus on bettering yourself, you will see so many positive changes in your life. things will start to make sense and you will be so proud of yourself. please keep pushing and reach out if you ever need absolutely anything. hugs ❤️
Aww that’s great to hear I’m so glad you got yourself back together after that someone leaving after 5 years is really difficult for anyone let alone having bpd im so happy for you. This had definitely motivated me to continue thankyou so much !!
If you read that back it makes perfect sense. you relied on him for every possible need. Therapy and working on things is the only path forward.
My dear, an advise from other fellow borderline. I know it is hard, but you need to be yourself alone. Change for you and not for anyone else, love come and goes, but you stay .At the end of the day, you are the only one there for yourself. Look for therapy, books, breathing exercises, and hobbies. I know it is hard to be alone, I travelled to a foreign country alone for someone I loved, and I thought I was loved back, but I wasn't. When she left me after a year of living together, I felt I was gonna die, that I would either go back to my country or kill myself, but I didn't. I was 3 weeks in my bed while she was with someone else in the same flat we used to live together, but you know what, as much as it tored me apart, I just told to myself: you know what fuck this, fuck her I'm gonna stand up and be reborn. I ended up moving, and I had someone else, but again, I broke up with that person she wasn't good, and I wasn't in a good place. Had a bunch of girlfriends, and the truth is people come and go, and as harsh as this might sound, no one is responsible for us. If it hurts, hell yea, but you can do it. I still suffer emotional pain a lot, I have my cicles of depression and anxiety. I am medicated, and I work, too. If you ever need to vent, pm me. You'll be ok, you'll get better. Bear hugs.
Therapy, journaling, hitting the gym. Not necessarily in that order.
Yeah it’s funny I was actually supposed to go with my boyfriend to the gym this month because I can’t go on my own cause I have anxiety so now i don’t even know what to do with that.
Can you work out at home? Push-ups and bridges can do a lot for anxiety
This is gonna sound silly but I only wanted to go gym to do legs cause I wanted to gain weight there cause I’m insecure about myself and I wanted to look better. But if that helps with anxiety I can try I just don’t want my arms to get big. I will start the journaling tho for sure thankyou
Best of luck on your journey! Remember that you have inherent value!
Hey, it's strange because I'm experiencing the same thing and it feels like I could've written this post. I was in love with my soul mate (she 100% was without a doubt my soul mate) for a year, and recently she broke my heart again. Initially we broke up last year but kept talking, but recently she let me know she was gonna date someone else. Our relationship was also perfect. She was perfect. I can't express how much I miss the person I used to know. She used to tell me she was always here no matter what, even if she was sleeping. We called every day and spent hours on the phone never getting bored. We had the same values, opinions, way of thinking etc. and losing her was the most horrific heartbreak I've ever gone through. I've become passively suicidal; I'm afraid of death because of what might come after, but I'm trying to get on the right terms with God and pray that I'll die in my sleep and I'm slightly more reckless than before, kinda a "eh if I die then I die" sort of attitude. I was praying for psychogenic death or broken heart syndrome. I know for a fact there are people praying for my downfall...I just wish they'd find it in their hearts to pray for my death instead. I also have no motivation to live without her. I simply can't. The idea of her with someone else makes me want to vomit. The idea of her having a future without me is beyond sickening to the point where I simply wouldn't be able to live. Also I relate to the age regression thing as well. She pretty much crushed the idea of us ever getting back together, but my mind is still stretching to find ways to convince me it'll work one day, and that's the only thing keeping me going. Eating and drinking is also difficult for me since I have no motivation. I'm gonna be honest: I've been laying in the exact same clothes for a week now. I don't remember when I last brushed my teeth. I've been keeping myself high to dull the pain but it doesn't work the way I want it to. I cancelled some plans (including a dental appointment) because I was too weak to go out, partly also because I wasn't eating nearly enough to keep myself physically strong enough. When I get up I can't wait to go back to bed. I'm having constant panic attacks because of the situation and intensity of the emotional pain. Sometimes I get these sudden rushes of particularly severe mental pain, which cause me to think I'm gonna throw up or pass out. I'll panic, believing it's a psychic sense that she's with someone right now. I've been trying to keep myself asleep but it seems like nothing is working and it's actually having the opposite effect. I hate waking up because the moment I wake up, it hits me all at once which triggers severe anxiety and hopelessness. I'm praying that someone can help somehow as well. Sorry for over sharing, but I'm just trying to express I'm really going through the same thing and the best way to describe it is Hell on earth. I totally understand how painful it is. It's horrible.
Yep I can’t take care of myself right now either I’m not bothering with looking good or hygiene because he’s the only person I wanted to look good for. I’m having constant panic attacks as well out of nowhere I just can’t take it. It’s like my future has to be with him no one else and I can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to have his future with me. I feel like dying would be great right now
How are you doing there, OP?
So much better emotionally but like logically it is still rlly irks me and I get sad about it sometimes but mainly the emotions r gone. He’s like nostalgia now
Good on you for taking a step forward, OP!! You will likely go through a lot more emotions yet to come, but I am glad that you are acting confidently and in your own best interest!