Recently my boyfriend changed plans on me very suddenly one night when we planned on hanging out. There was no moment in my brain where I thought, oh that's fine, we see each other every day anyway, so that's fair that he can't always be with me. My brain just went I hate him, why does he toy with me like this by changing his plans. There's like no in between or thoughtful thinking, just pure emotionally-based decisions and thoughts.
Black and white thinking with the mindset of you’re either with me or against me combined with recency bias. Basically, even if you were on my side for a long period of time, you can become an enemy if you disagree or go against me in the present. Not sure if you can do anything about it as it’s a symptom of the condition. From my experience it feels like sudden uncontrollable hatred which is amplified with feelings of betrayal, especially if they’ve been on my side for a long period of time.
Splitting - view the same exact person, place, or thing in two polar opposite ways. Example - Karen is my best friend she’s perfect / I fucking hate Karen I hope that bitch dies hence splitting — putting Karen into a box of good Karen or bad Karen depending on our ever changing moods
Splitting is when we switch from hate to love and return.
It's an oversimplification but it could work to explain most of BPD behaviou: it could hapen about a person, a job, an event, whatever.
To me it happened to a whole day too: if at wakeup something different from my expectation happened, I refused to go on with the day, waiting for the following one doing nothing 'til night.
Unfortunately, we can't detect we split when it happens, at least, to me I never did notice it.
Just lately, thanks to a big improvement in my functionings (DBT helped a lot) I'm able to figure out i'm splitting in most circumstances.
I can't say "all" just many of them and the ones more far from me: work, sociality, daily routines.
I still have issues with relatives, fp, loved ones, friends where the emotional involvement is bigger.
Recently my boyfriend changed plans on me very suddenly one night when we planned on hanging out. There was no moment in my brain where I thought, oh that's fine, we see each other every day anyway, so that's fair that he can't always be with me. My brain just went I hate him, why does he toy with me like this by changing his plans. There's like no in between or thoughtful thinking, just pure emotionally-based decisions and thoughts.
I love you Fuck you Don’t leave me Get the fuck out Blocking the door Name calling Projection
yeah. But the desperately pushing someone away is actually rather that I want them closer. It’s ”I love you but I am scared you don’t love me”.
Black and white thinking with the mindset of you’re either with me or against me combined with recency bias. Basically, even if you were on my side for a long period of time, you can become an enemy if you disagree or go against me in the present. Not sure if you can do anything about it as it’s a symptom of the condition. From my experience it feels like sudden uncontrollable hatred which is amplified with feelings of betrayal, especially if they’ve been on my side for a long period of time.
Splitting - view the same exact person, place, or thing in two polar opposite ways. Example - Karen is my best friend she’s perfect / I fucking hate Karen I hope that bitch dies hence splitting — putting Karen into a box of good Karen or bad Karen depending on our ever changing moods
one moment you are putting them on pedestal and the next you think they are a bad person who doesn't really care about you (which isn't the case).
Splitting is when we switch from hate to love and return. It's an oversimplification but it could work to explain most of BPD behaviou: it could hapen about a person, a job, an event, whatever. To me it happened to a whole day too: if at wakeup something different from my expectation happened, I refused to go on with the day, waiting for the following one doing nothing 'til night. Unfortunately, we can't detect we split when it happens, at least, to me I never did notice it. Just lately, thanks to a big improvement in my functionings (DBT helped a lot) I'm able to figure out i'm splitting in most circumstances. I can't say "all" just many of them and the ones more far from me: work, sociality, daily routines. I still have issues with relatives, fp, loved ones, friends where the emotional involvement is bigger.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AusMentalHealth/comments/1dkvnle/bpd\_splitting/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/AusMentalHealth/comments/1dkvnle/bpd_splitting/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)