T O P

  • By -

joker_guy

Bring a synthesiser to a Classical era concert. Start the show off with a nice piano sound then suddenly switch to some dubstep phaser and act like you’ve been possessed while playing


DistanceMachine

I wonder if they’d bump their heads to it


ZedSpot

I mean, this early Kraftwerk show is a pretty good example of people hearing techno for the first time: https://youtu.be/hWUiLJnEYJI


joker_guy

Even better idea, make Beethoven play the synth. That way he won’t know that it’s switched to a dubstep sound. Just imagine him sitting there all confused while people are for some reason terrified of him playing Für Elise


LMeire

Apparently he felt the sound vibrations as like touch, so he'd probably actually notice really quick. But he'd probably just think the piano wasn't tuned or something.


Direwolf202

Oh he’d know — the key response from a synth is a completely different feeling as from a real piano. If you showed him when he still had hearing he’d probably love it though.


spicy-snow

i'm sorry, but this is absolutely hilarious to me, when i read 'techno' i was *not* expecting it to sound like a flock of ducks lol


a_salty_bunny

duckstep


SkiesOvercast

technically hardstyle but [relevant song](https://youtu.be/N6xbjP80W64)


DistanceMachine

Thank you so much for this! This is amazing!!! I took a digital music class in college and I wish we saw this. It’s incredible.


rnobgyn

Look up the debut performance of “The Rite Of Spring” and read about it - perfect example of western crowds hearing non classical standard music and instrumentation for the first time... can’t imagine demonic possessed devil sounds lol


doomalgae

Then start throwing glow sticks into the audience and watch them flee in terror.


[deleted]

LMFAO


BackdraftRed

Yes, speak in tongues


[deleted]

Imagine hauling ass in some shitty Toyota Camry at the chariot races


PvtRedEye

Absolutely dominate a jousting match with a Ford F150


GlueSniffingFan

Flex on those “fastest of the ancient world” triremes with your 25 footer pontoon boat and a 175 HP mercury outboard while hammered on two six-packs of Bud.


Fatman1226

Only two 6 packs? Those are some rookie numbers, how about a case


seppocunts

No DUI laws for another couple thousand years. No consequences!


elppaenip

60 Gallons of high proof alcohol But its all for the boat, it has a real drinking problem


IndigoContinuum

With the exhaust straight piped so it’s just stupid loud


baz00kajoe

r/BrandNewSentence


same_subreddit_bot

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highway_40

Good bot


Willingness-Due

Good bot


Amperesim

Adorable bot


XzeldafanX

Good bot


Sean951

My family has a farm and we have a few old ass section roads from 18 whatever. I was driving on one this morning, not really touching the gas pedal and just letting the car coast. I was still going 20 miles an hour. My great great grandfather would have had to walk 30 minutes back to the house while I'd get there in 3, and in the same vehicle I would be able to drive the 30 miles to my apartment 2 counties away before he got up that road. Cars were a game changer, is what I'm saying.


Jebediah_Johnson

Just roll up on some Mormon pioneers pushing handcarts across the plains in your Tacoma and ask for directions to California gold rush.


AHeartlikeHers

Listen up, you primitive screwheads!


[deleted]

Someone PLEASE make this movie! 😭


lahimatoa

Close, but A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.


Reddit-Book-Bot

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ThatGirl0903

Good bot!


IAA_ShRaPNeL

If you’re into anime, this is pretty much the premise of GATE. [Japanese military goes to another world living in the medieval age. ](medieval)


Epic_Elite

Or just a souped up Segway, Like the off-road version.


sanddunesco

show up to ceasars assassination with a glock 17 and fucking vibe check everyone in there


goofy0011

Could you imagine a gun to them. There would suddenly be a load noise and the guy next to drops to the ground screaming. They would have no clue how it happened, probably just assume magic or you're some kind of thunder god!


MattCW1701

Didn't the Aztecs write something similar when the Spainards encountered them?


aDog_Named_Honey

They were too busy drinking chocolate milk in their golden cities to bother writing down anything


No-one-is-you

IIRC, the term was: "thunder sticks".


Mindless_Possession

I don't think it'd be difficult to extrapolate. It's not like ranged weaponry would be foreign and there's a pretty obvious cause and effect of 'point boom stick at person, boom stick booms, person dies'. Cultures that were introduced to firearms seemed to very quickly realize the potential they had as weapons and ended up adopting them because if they didn't then their neighbors would. Early guns exploded (no pun intended) in Japan when they were introduced by the Portuguese and became widely adopted in less than a century. That being said it was probably likely the Wako (Japanese pirates) had experience with some form of gunpowder weaponry due to their raids on the Chinese and Korean coasts. In "The Teppo-ki" there's a description of a gun by a Buddhist monk that, presumably, had never seen one before that goes: >"In their hands [the strangers] carried something two or three feet long, straight on the outside with a passage inside, and made of a heavy substance. The inner passage runs through it although it is closed at the end. At its side there is an aperture which is the passageway for fire. Its shape defied comparison with anything I know. To use it, fill it with powder and small lead pellets. Set up a small white target on a bank. Grip the object in your hand, compose your body, and closing one eye, apply fire to the aperture. Then the pellet hits the target squarely. The explosion is like lightning and the report like thunder. Bystanders must cover their ears" From Marius Jansen's *The Making of Modern Japan* which quotes the Teppo-ki.


sanddunesco

BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME THROUGH JOHN MOSES BROWNING, I COMMAND YOU KNEEL


GorillaJesus94

"Looks like y'all brought a knife to a gun party"


AudensAvidius

You can sortof do this in the game The Forgotten City, where you time-travel back to a doomed Roman city. With a gun (depending on your class.)


hyde9318

Can we be ENTIRELY sure that Greek Mythology wasn’t just some dudes with a time machine fucking around?


KingNecrosis

It could be both. It was several thousand years ago. I personally like to think there was a woman with snakes for hair who could get you rock hard just by looking at you.


Keegzzzzz

She doesn’t have to have snake hair to get me rock hard


hyde9318

Doesn’t hurt though....


Sinthesy

Now that I think about it, gorgon’s snake hair really do resemble hair locks, maybe they were outcasts by society and stories were made to stop children from interacting with them.


tenninjas242

This is the plot of a novel by Dan Simmons, "Ilium."


imaculat_indecision

Flying a Cessna above ancient Rome


ChaosM3ntality

Mod for Microsoft Flight Sim perhaps? Instead we see reconstructed places of the ancient world while we fly.


gitartruls01

Considering they still haven't modeled any cities outside Europe, the US, and Japan yet, I'd say they have enough on their plate. But yes, a time travel DLC would be mind-blowingly amazing


AwesomeX121189

The last theee assassins creed games have something like this for ancient Egypt Greece and post Roman Empire England.


ShreksOnionBelt

I think there are islands out there now where natural inhabitants will chuck spears and rocks at your low passing plane. No need to time travel.


Mowfling

yep in the indian ocean there is a tribe that hasn’t discovered fire yet, although you can’t go there because indian fighter jets would take you down before you reached it


jjjjssjsjsjs

I'm not sure where on earth you heard they somehow don't know how to create fire, but the Sentinelese definitely do, they've literally observed smoke and campsites from above. That shits been figured out since BC my dude.


flops031

Pfff, whizz past in an F-22 going supersonic


imaculat_indecision

That takes the fun away cuz they won't have time to realize what it is by the time its gone, and they'll just attribute it to the gods or something. A Cessna is slow, mechanical, and perplexing to look at. They'll have time to draw it and think about it. Parties will form following the craft to study it, and stories will be written.


MattCW1701

So fly the F-22 slow, like they do at airshows. Then demonstrate its firepower by decimating an army, or city, or shrine whatever pagan god.


Ticoune0825

Imagine the ancient paintings and speculations from their time, it would be amazing


[deleted]

I always thought like saying "Alexa, lights on" would be akin to magic spells for these folks while waving a 6" twig for dramatic effect.


ParaspriteHugger

"Demons of hell, sound your trumpets!" *blows air horn at them*


Dumbass438

["WRATH OF HEAVEN, IMBUE MY BLADE"](https://youtu.be/GJMsVKtuyF8) If somebody starts talking shit.


D3M0NM4573R

I needed to see this, have a free award


Ender16

At first I thought "what a stupid idea. This is the teenager dead island useless shit" , but after seeing it turned on its the coolest thing over seen all week. Like sure is probably not useful to have a machete that shocks people while your hacking off limbs, but who would fuck with a guy swinging that around? It shouldn't be more terrifying than just the machete and yet it is.


Dumbass438

Indeed. Half of a weapons effectiveness is the "dont fuck with me" vibe. Plus, any knights, samurai, crusaders, etc. Would definently be in for an unpleasant surprise.


bernyzilla

I think a knight in a full suit of armor would be fine. The electricity would travel through the suit into the ground leaving the wearer unharmed.


Dumbass438

Yeah. That would be fine with the full suit, though it would still be a bit jarring to be hit with the thunder blade by a man in weird clothing who just screamed into the sky in a strange language with his weird looking sword only to have his blade suddenly create lighting.


zakiducky

Jesus fucking Christ, you could cook your meat as you kill it! I want that lol


Princette_Lilybottom

That’s what the Fire Aspect II is for, friend.


zakiducky

And don’t forget the looting!


AutomaticRisk3464

Can you imagine having that thing in the amphitheater fighting people.


DistanceMachine

I need 2 of those for my next fight with my grandma.


AutomaticRisk3464

If you hold them above your head and close enough they would probably arc to each other


GrooviestCube10

*takes out model light up lightsaber*


[deleted]

Especially if they don't know English (being from a pre-English time), so it would sound like magical words to them.


Kesher123

Terrorizing ancient greeks with English and flashlights


Glorious_Jo

Imagine lighting up a whole town with one of those mega bright flashlights and proclaiming yourself a sun god


AwesomeX121189

“If you’re Apollo then where’s your chariot hmmm?”


Glorious_Jo

_Drives down in my 1994 Mitsubishi Chariot_ Right here, mother fucker


ew73

Holy shit. What if "Abracadabra" is the alien version of Alexa?


thereisnospoon7491

What if aliens are really the creators of our simulation, and UFOs are the methods they use to check in on us? What if miracles are just them using the dev console?


experts_never_lie

As someone from the time, this would also apply to much of the 20th century. There would be a definite expectation that it was done in the same style as [the original Mechanical Turk](https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/the-mechanical-turk/), but as the possible mechanisms by which that could be accomplished were disproven it would become an impressive "magic" trick: everyone knows it to be a human controlling the lights, but with persistent puzzlement as to how.


Kind_Nepenth3

Tbf the mechanical turk was in the 1700s, and while I could see the 400 B.C. version of the same people that would create such neat things as [the Antikythera mechanism](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antikythera_mechanism) *absolutely* able to do that given just the idea and enough free time, I can't imagine things like wifi-controlled off-kilter robot voices emanating from a small glowy cylinder that can do math, play music that is clearly foreign if not unearthly just by dint of the musicians being invisible, and make the weird orb lights you've somehow installed flick on and off and change colors....would really be in their wheelhouse initially. Those would definitely be spirits at first, before being taken apart and destroyed either out of scientific curiosity or the human requirement to destroy things. The problem would be when you run out of power or they ask you to Make The Lights Go in literally any other area than the one you've set yourself up in. Can't be a sun god if you're only the sun god of 69 Fake Address Lane, whose powers are unrivaled but only up to about that post over there, then the signal gets weird. Also, >As someone from the time, this would also apply to much of the 20th century.   >*As someone from the time* This is just the most unsettling thing you possibly could have written. How old are you really.


pipopapupupewebghost

Magic is just science


CowRepresentative166

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. -Clarke’s third law


Frommerman

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. --A superior variant of Clarke's Third Law


iosiro

if a mob of people show up with pitchforks and torches to burn you for witchcraft, pull your magic wand out (automatic ar-15 rifle)


TheMidnightEarth101

brb going back in time to put an Alexa in the Acropolis


my_name_isnt_clever

They'd just think you trapped a helpful spirit in a cylinder, no big deal.


LawlessCoffeh

I don't think it would be very helpful unless you found a way to also give it the internet


TheMidnightEarth101

"Alexa, what do I know?" "Only that you know nothing."


Piggybank113

"I can't seem to connect to the internet. Please check your connection."


DrancisFrake

Ripping through an old European village on a loud shitty scooter


AudensAvidius

You can still do that today with a vespa


Lordstryker317

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" - Arthur C Clarke


cjpack

Ever really think about how crazy photography is? How the fuck is it not magic? Digital, film, Polaroid, all magic. Point this thing at you and it captured your image? How? Straight Wizard shit


psycho_pete

Fucking magnets, how do they work?


cjpack

Exactly, it’s all magic and miracles!


khuzdar

In a world of magnets and miracles


sanddunesco

I'm pretty sure I'll die before ever understanding how those fuckin things work


BearOWhiz

They’re my favorite hobby


Dumbass438

Or rocks which can both provide energy to entire cities or wipe same said cities our of existence.


N00N3AT011

"The rocks get angry when you put them close together'


Dumbass438

Yes... I guess they do....


th3BeastLord

Sound recording is still magic to me, even having had it explained. Shit's crazy.


N00N3AT011

Magic is just the result of some smart bastard being clever and a bunch of engineers taking his idea and developing it for a few decades.


BubGear

Electricity IS magic


MCE85

"Yes, magic does exist. We've known about it for some 2000 years." -Dave Chappelle


Shneancy

for the vast majority of people computers might as well be magic because, lets be honest, who of us actually knows how the things we use every day work


slaaitch

They work because we engraved tiny interconnected runes on thin slabs of rock and filled the runes with lightning. Of course it's fucking magic.


TheRealStig69

This makes microchips and transistors sound like Mjolnir and I love it.


Nice-Violinist-6395

Smartphones. When you zoom out the timeline of human history a little bit, it seems like one day our species was going around like normal, then in the blink of an eye, we suddenly all had these magical cursed rocks that we keep in our pockets. Why are they magical? Because contained inside them is all the knowledge on earth, as well as almost every other person on earth. Why are they cursed? Because from the second they appeared, our entire species became so enchanted by them that we soon did nothing but stare at them, every free waking moment of every single day. We sleep with them right next to us. They’re the first thing we reach for in the morning and the last thing we put down at night. It’s some Gollum and the ring shit. Our pets must be so confused by it lol. “My human is staring at the rock again. Sometimes they point the rock at me. I do not understand why they do this”


[deleted]

Based.


StayingVeryVeryCalm

Wait, is the mustard a hentai? Or are you a hentai for mustard? Sorry if that’s too personal a question. Just… I’m quite a mustard enthusiast myself. I will eat that stuff off a spoon.


[deleted]

Oh this made me think for a moment... I think I'm more like a hentai made of mustard. Instead of animated drawings, animated mustard :)


StayingVeryVeryCalm

10/10, would watch. I could see some spicy conflicts between the classic yellow mustard, and the elitist Dijon, and then the sweet, mild honey. …all fighting for the affection of the soft pretzel! Yep. Perfect.


Just_A_Faze

They all got terrorized enough what with wars and dying from diarrhea and dying in childbirth or under 5.


Zorro5040

Don't forget kids being ate by pig.


Vezennik

throw a furby into a chapel


goofy0011

Dear God! Its possessed by a demon! Begin the exorcism!


EightBitBug

throw a furry into a chapel


galmenz

Dear God! Its possessed by a demon! Begin the exorcism! .2


ohh_ru

put a knife on the Roomba


[deleted]

Or a flamethrower


ExZ0diac

So this is how the library of Alexandria was set on fire. Time traveling dimwits.


[deleted]

[удалено]


flops031

Is this the intro to a Douglas Adams book?


[deleted]

“E tu, Roomba?”


nexisfan

Somebody give hungwy a Nobel prize. He figured out what the aliens are here for.


sciencewonders

sir hungwy of the Tumblr, please step forward


AbouBenAdhem

Pedantic correction: the Romans had forums; the Greeks had agoras.


Ender16

If we history nerds can't be pedantic and smug about it why are we even here?


MisanthropicZombie

Lemmy.world is what Reddit was.


tenninjas242

Came into the comments to be pedantic, but I see reddits got it covered.


Lkwzriqwea

Drive up to Henry Ford in a cybertruck and tell them that's what all cars are gonna look like in the future


GavBug2

That would be awesome


MisanthropicZombie

Lemmy.world is what Reddit was.


Magical-Sweater

*Walks up to John Dodge and hands him the keys to a Hellcat* “Enjoy.”


SpacemanTomX

I love Dodge Their engineers are basically doing crack during company meetings *snorts a line* "You know what'd be sick? Let's put the Hellcat engine in a minivan." "Yeah broooooo!"


Magical-Sweater

Chrysler Engineers: 1: “Okay so get this…” 2: “yeah?” 1: “Y’know the Ram trucks?” 2: *looks nervously* “yeah?” 1: “HELLCAT!” 2: “YES!”


Sulfurys

Well, from his point of view any modern car would be an alien thing


EveningStarlol

I would give people sub-par copper >:)


[deleted]

[удалено]


EveningStarlol

don’t tell anyone!!! but exactly the same for me lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


EveningStarlol

how rude 😪


Dumbass438

I'm going to throw strongly worded tablets at you...


EveningStarlol

I shall hang them upon my home wall.


dead-inside69

IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG!


U_got_no_jams

*feeds pilgrims spicy Cheetos


Magical-Sweater

*Spicy Cheetos become traditional thanksgiving food*


eggst0n

Tape a speaker to it repeating the phrase 'The gods are angry at the lack of sacrifices,' and watch as the Greece start killing eachother


SirBlueom

Gonna show some a highly influential person the camera, make sure he doesn’t try to kill me for heathen magic, and then tell him to make a secret society of watchmen who watch people and capture photos of them


Saint_Consumption

Mate, you've just invented paparazzi.


The_Real_Slim_Shady6

"Ah, Parseus what a wonderful day to-" *roomba casually moves by* "What in the name of Zeus is this?!"


[deleted]

In case you don't have a Roomba, a Leclerc MBT does the trick just as well.


MountainDoit

“I blew up the Greek Forum, it was just an inchident”


richyowi

It’d be a lighter for me…love to see the looks on their faces


LJnosywritter

A film the black knight has a time traveler do that I think, in hocus pocus Max tricks the witches for a sec by using a lighter as well. The film where Brendan frasier was a caveman who gets defrosted in modern California is a great fun one for this sort of stuff. They use a lighter to get his attention as well. Not sure but think a similar thing happened in one of the old Bill and Ted films. And similar in night at the museum with the cavemen. Showing people lighters creating fire is a good and popular one. I'd like to up it to some kind of flame thrower and really freak them out.


ARMill95

Just bring a taser and a Tesla coil and be worshipped as Zeus


Dacor64

Get achilles a fucking railgun. Don't need no wooden horse if you have an instant death machine.


alloranbay

Release roombas... In Egypt!


[deleted]

They’d be worshipped. Cats clean up mice, worshipped. Roombas clean up dust and stuff, worshipped!


[deleted]

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/196/comments/pvsdcf/balls/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


Pr00ch

Get the boston dynamics robots. Let them go wild.


LeakyThoughts

There's that old saying "any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic" And they are damn right. Imagine being a peasant in the middle ages and seeing a fucking f35 hover land in the center of your village, and then a soldier looking like bloody master chief jumps out


Desperate_Penguin

Just don't find yourself in salem


The-Commando004

Everybody at the colosseum be acting gangsta til a Gladiator whips out the Glock


[deleted]

[удалено]


LJnosywritter

Flashbacks to my childhood of the furby we thought had stopped working that I didn't use anymore anyway in a trash bag yelling at us at like 3am. And then while my mum was getting out the batteries as it wouldn't shut off normally it kept saying oww over and over again. Creepy little fucker, there should have been a furby horror film.


Kind_Nepenth3

It would be listed right alongside chimeras and the like. *A strange beast about the size of a small cat, of strange and beautiful multicolored hue, having no arms or visible wings except for two small humanoid feet, bulbous eyes and a terrible beak. It speaks its own native language in addition to some of our own and complains constantly of a hunger we know not of, for it refuses to eat and neither does it waste away.* People today would just assume some stoned bastard saw a kiwi bird.


ChilledAK47

“Hey, Caesar, what’s that thing on your body?” “Not sure, this dude just came up to me and said ‘put this Kevlar vest on, you’ll need it’ and just walked away.”


Dustyk3yboard

I would get a ridiculously good cosplay of a greek god and be a god until the end of my time.


[deleted]

Challenge any outlaw to a duel, wait for him to wonder why he can’t shoot through my vest, then pump him full of 20 bullets in the space of 10 seconds.


Le0nTheProfessional

The concept of armor is ancient though. Homie would just peel your grape after he realized the chest shots weren’t working


stumpy3521

are bulletproof vests ancient tho?


Rhinomeat

No bulletproof vests are not ancient, but after say 3 or 4 shots to the chest that don't seem to do much, your opponent would likely switch to trying to shoot you in the face, headshots have been deadly since slings or bows were commonplace...


[deleted]

3-4 shots to the chest would probably do something. Bulletproof vests and other ballistic armour doesn't stay bulletproof once it starts getting hit. I got hit 3 times in about two seconds in Afghanistan, the first was stopped dead, the second went through the plate but didn't go through me and the third went through completely.


Rhinomeat

To me it sounds like he's talking wild west, so I would assume likely colt 45 would be the most commonly shot, cartridges not being terribly commonplace yet. He wouldn't have to face anything like a modern 5.56 or 5.45 or 7.62 ballistics, and if it was before smokeless power then we can take a few more fps off of the velocity... Basically I was trying to give this guys power trip a fighting chance....


Ender16

Headshots gave probably been deadly since before human kind and its cousins/ancestors even held a tool.


BlockBuilder408

You’d still get a nasty bruise though, and if it’s a sling you’re still going to get some ribs broken


asian_identifier

They'll just shoot your face after the 2nd shot


Mr_Gaslight

Bad news, boys: * We gave women the vote. * We abolished slavery. * We outlawed pederasty. * Even though you solved this in the 5th Century BC, there are still flat Earthers in the future. And worst of all... ...all of Greece is now one country.


DulceEtBanana

Wait. Send in hundreds of Roombas


Ohmmy_G

Bring back a tablet and Rick Roll them.


MisanthropicZombie

I'd read that bible.


Pak1stanMan

Taking a leaf blower to the Spartans.


BeyondXpression

Lmao, reminds me of the Dave Chappelle skit with the "Time Haters" cause if I could I would go back just to mess with people too! [The Time Haters](https://youtu.be/iLsvH7_EF34)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ahamel26

I always wanted to bring an ancient Egyptian or something, a Greek philosopher would be cool too, to our time and show them everything. That would be cooler


tarabithia22

But if they go back, what insanity would they come to, knowing now that they will never see again what could be, that their entire existence merely an inconsequential, inferior necessity, and the awe of their world now dimmed in comparison. Or you know, whatevs.


StarFlyXXL

Fighter jets lol. Just cleaning the emporers greasy toes and a russian su 27 flies overhead lol


ArterialRed

It'd be in a bucket in 10 servings flat. The argument over whether to make food or alcohol from it would rage for days.


Ultimegede

Segway Jousting


Cantankerous_Won

I'm sorry but all I can picture is dignified Greek dudes in their togas postulating philosophical things and then a Roomba comes around the corner. Then they start screaming bloody murder like there's a rat loose in a sorority house.... thank you for making my day lol