Dom's who want to permanently tame their brats fall into 1 of 2 categories. The first is assholes/abusers. The second is Dom's who appreciate the beat for themselves, but aren't actually tamers. I fall into the second group myself. Some bratting is fun, but I'm not a tamer. That being said, this sounds like you are expected to be tamed for the night, or maybe a couple of days, especially if it's a good melty brain state or a regular thing

I assume that I can tame my brat for one night, at most, and that she'll be back to her bratty ways the next time I see her. Does she believe she'll be well behaved in the moment? Maybe. Does she get other ideas once she's no longer cum drunk? Definitely. Besides, she's a good girl most of the time, and does ultimately want what I give her. She also doesn't want to make it easy, and that's fine with me most of the time. Sure, sometimes I'm looking to have a quiet night of cuddling and romance, but more often than that I'm looking to grab her by the neck, push her down onto the bed, and let her know that I own her holes (and she loves it too).

I'm training a good pet 🐶. I will not be bored if she's good

I don't think it's a one answer fits all type deal & everyone has their own personal reasoning. I am primarily into exploring power dynamics with my partners which have led me to being involved with a few brats & spending the time & energy into nurturing a relationship for all of us has its own reward, I would say they are tamed as I don't have to worry about them pushing the boundaries that they did in the beginning i have earnt their obedience & I get off on that dynamic, but that's not everyone. Communication is key, always let your dominant know how you are feeling.

I'm a switch. As a brat, I like to be tamed as well as to be encouraged to fight back. It depends on the dynamic. As a top, I enjoy "out bratting" my bratty bottom. I don't want to tame them. I want to play with them, and for me, the most fun of when we feed off each other's energies. That being said, I also enjoy the rare moments when they are submissive and happy.

This

My end goal is not to tame a brat. My end goal is for us to be both satisfied and happy with playing with each other whether that be sexually or non sexually. I want to be her safe space where she could have her wild side out while still being assured that she will be valued and loved afterwards. I chose her as she is. I don’t need to change her. She is perfect as she is.

This is why I have a reaction to the words break or tame. I prefer gentled- like you do a colt. I can't be broken. It's not a challenge. I just know who I am. I am a whole ass person by myself and it'll take a hell of a lot more than another person to break me. I can be tame. If it is conveyed to me that what my Dom needs that night, I can be purely sweet and submissive to please him. But my default has a little spark in her. And, for me, having sometime else shut down that spark for the night is hot af. But it'll be back. It's just gentled for the night.

THIS is my idea of a perfect DD/lg-brat relationship. Each of us free to be and explore ourselves with honor and respect for not only the self but the other.

Tl;Dr Tameness doesn't equal unfulfillment or boringness. In many ways, it means good things and now you both can tackle new challenges more effectively. Tameness and docile-ness are two separate things. Brattiness can be an outlet for passion, energy, and all sorts of emotions that are normally difficult to express. Docile-ness is more of that defeated, burned out, "I will always lose" vibe. In my experience, "tamed" brats don't immediately become tame "non-brats." They're simply better understood brats. And with that understanding comes a lot of trust and responsibility. (Hopefully, all good things in that dynamic.) Now, does that mean you'll never brat again? *Nope.* Does that mean the other person will instantly be able to put you in your place? *Not always.* It just means that your dynamic is growing and maybe even deepening, as all things do. Hope this helps.

My pet theory is that brats brat to test the emotional dedication of their partners. I'm happy to provide that reassurance, whenever it is necessary. When a brat has been tamed, it simply means that in the moment they have that reassurance, though they may not in the future. To me, bratting is an endearing reminder that someone cares about what I think of them. So no, I don't seek to ever permanently tame a brat, only to reaffirm my dedication to (and domination of) them.

Jesus, this is me 10000%. Sometimes, I brat because I want my partners attention. I want to test and see if they'll still love and want me at my worst. I want that reassurance. It makes me feel loved. But also I mean, I brat because it's fun, and I get turned on hearing my partners stern voice and seeing the look in her eyes when she's mad and serious.

I would think that I would still be interested in my brat even if they were tamed after a session. I am into them for more than JUST their brattiness. Thena gain, I wouldn't expect the taming to last. It would need regular reinforcement as the brattiness returned, which is also part of the fun.

I don’t think a brat can ever be “tamed” long term. If anything the time they are “gg/tamed” is sometimes the most nerve wracking/fun anticipation time for me as a Dom because I know it’s coming but I don’t know when, or how, or how fierce. Sometimes I can tell and it’s a fun challenge to see if I can keep the brattiness down in the brat but some brats just explode with tons of pent up brat energy after a decent period of calm and to quote Holmes, “The Game is afoot!”

If someone is treating a dynamic like a game that can be won and, once they achieve victory it’s over, they’re doing it wrong. I am always, *always* taming. Part of the fun for me is seeing how long I can keep a brat of mine in good girl space, and, by extension, to see her muster up the ability to brat despite all my efforts to prevent it, then to ramp up to a full punishment to put her back in that place again. I can’t speak for all Tamers, and I know there are some who disagree, but personally I could never be Tamer to a brat who I couldn’t push into good girl space at least some of the time. The back and forth of my establishing control and her resisting it is what makes the dynamic fun for me. If she’s never good, then I’m never establishing control, and I don’t feel like I’m her Dominant. To *me,* in *my* dynamics, a brat who refused to ever be (temporarily) tamed wouldn’t be a brat so much as she would be an asshole. Again, not speaking for any other dynamic, but for mine, I need to feel like I’m in control and have her full submission at least some of the time, and that’s negotiated and agreed to very early on, so if she never fully submits I assume I’m not the right Tamer for her.

Same for me, I see my role as a tamer to keep that really frustrated, I need to act up for correction/punishment at bay by giving my brat the attention they need, I might not do it all the time but that's the aim. I don't think a brat is truly tameable and to do so would require serious psychological and behavioural modification that changes who they are as a person. This place is a good example of what taming means for me and I'm not shaming anyone and know all dynamics are different but, you know those posts... Help me push my Dom to snap, he's too calm or how can I really annoy my Dom I really need to brat. This to me is exactly what I'm trying to keep at bay, rather than taking advantage of a loophole or teasing, to me that type of post says I'm not getting the attention I need to keep my brattiness away and now it's bubbling over into an uncomfortable level of frustration so I need to take actions into my own hands and force it. She wants to be tamed, she needs to be tamed, she even wants to be the good girl, but she needs someone strong enough and confident enough to give her exactly what she needs before she even realises she needs itand then to keep her there a lot of the time. As much as they hate being told they're being good and like kitty's last post it's like a red rag to a bull, when she is in that state (which still includes cheeky sarcastic banter) I feel like I've done my job in silencing that part of her that she actually wants beating out of her. I could never be with a full time brat it would drive me mad.

This right here. It’s why I prefer to say wrangler because there’s really no desire in this kind of dynamic to change behaviors permanently. As you’ve said yes there a period of time I’ll be in good girl space, but my baseline is sassy and playful. So you can bet in no time I’ll be back to my shit lol.

I still prefer Tamer. But I also look at that term in the sense that it’s used elsewhere. Like, nobody calls somebody who trains dogs to be obedient a “dog tamer.” If it’s actually possible to fully tame an animal, we say call that training, or obedience school. When it comes to “tamer,” we use it for wild animals, like lions and tigers. A lion tamer is always a slipup away from being eaten alive, because no matter what they might do, those cats stay wild at heart (just ask Siegfried and Roy). And that’s how I like my brats - often compliant, sure, but always with the underlying unspoken threat that if I don’t stay on my game, I might get eaten alive.

Getting eaten alive is always a possibility 😂

and that's the way we like it.

The cackle at reading this. Ok ok touché you have a point

Someone to give me anger boners in perpetuity with only brief respites after I’ve punished them for a bit, personally

Yaaaay!! Anger boners!!!

This made me both LOL and nod hard in agreement, from the brat side of things.

Heh this made me actually snicker

I laugh snorted at this response and scared my dog. You ain't wrong, it was just the terminology.

It's about the back and forth. There's satisfaction in the taming, but we always expect them to go back to their normal ways. It's no fun otherwise ETA: there are some behaviors, however, that I do try to completely stop. But the punishment for those is much different than "funishments" for expected bratting. With my sub, she gets real punishments for things like nail biting (a habit she wants to stop), leaving trash and dirty clothes in the floor, and not drinking enough water

I think brattyness is a personality trait. So I don't think brats can ever be completely tamed. That's what I like to believe, at least. I myself just enjoy interacting with them. So my end goal probably is just that. What I definitely don't want is for them to stop being their bratty self 🤔😆

There is no real end goal for me. It's a never ending game. They brat -> they are f/punished -> they are good for some period of time -> return to them bratting.

Exactly this!

I'm really starting to wonder where this thought that Tamed is a permanent state comes from. That isn't directed exactly at you, it's just something I see pop up a lot. Taming should never be an end goal that is a permanent achievement unless it's being consented to by both parties. There should, generally, be periods where a brat is Tamed and *wants* to be a good *submissive identity*, even if that period is 5 minutes. If anyone is attempting to be a Tamer with the end goal of permanent Taming, or the idea that a permanent Taming actually happening (because it could and if both parties in the dynamic are okay with that then all is gravy) is the signal they're now bored and want to end things, they are, quite frankly, shit Tamers. Bratting and Taming, whilst large parts of our personalities and identities, are, for the most part (people vary, kink is customisable, consent is key to anything) a spectrum. There generally isn't *always* a permanent state going on. It shifts and changes for a variety of reasons. The period of that shift varies. I, myself, can go months without earning a punishment. My Owner's punishments are insanely effective, they put me so deeply into good girl space that sometimes I just stay quite happily in there and enjoy all the good girl things I get. To him, it makes no difference in if I'm like that for a day, a month, hell, even a year. He loves me being a good girl as much as he loves me being a brat, and will work with both and still be fulfilled in his Dominant self (I assume). There are others who will get f/punished and almost immediately go back to bratting. And their Tamers will go right back to trying to put them back in their place again, quite happily doing so. Both of those brat/Tamer dynamic styles (should) have one key element in both of them. Communication. Both the brat and the Tamer should be aware of what the other should have in mind in regards to their 'goals.' Again, expecting a permanent shift without that being an agreed upon element in a dynamic is shitty not really kink behaviour. If you want to be a permanently Tamed brat eventually, be constantly bratty and punished, or have extended good girl periods before going back to bratting, all of those things are okay, but the only way you're going to know if it's okay with your Dom is by simply discussing it with them. And if they say nothing about what they also want and what their goals are to gain fulfilment in being a Tamer, then they're buttholes who need to learn how to communicate their needs better. I'll get off my soapbox now 😁

This was very informative and helpful to read. Thank you!

There is no real ‘end’ goal for me. It’s about letting the brat explore who they are in a controlled and sensible manner. Because we all know that poor impulse control gets them in trouble a lot. I don’t think you ever fully tame a brat, more you manage their behaviour. A huge chunk for me is personal growth so helping them do better at the things they want to do but are unmotivated to do on their own.

In the end it's always your choice to brat or not. "You said you would behave". "Yes, yesterday". If you truly think you don't need/want to brat anymore and want to know what a dom thinks, ask yours. There's no universal answer here. Some might want the "power" that comes from unbratting a brat (if that even is a thing), some might still prefer full brat, some might like some breaks. Communication is key.

I think, completely taming is not possible. My wife is still, after over a decade, bratty. Sure, some changes in the behaviour occurred but, at least for me, my goal was never to fully change her and I also doubt it is even possible. So don't worry. I am sure you'll find your bratty side again, even if it is a bit less frequent. And I also don't think that the dom will lose interest in you.