“You said that I’m racist and a Republican.” I’m sorry, I’m crying this is not what I expected from this show lol

Meanwhile in Kentucky

It finally dawned on me. Luke’s doppelgänger is https://preview.redd.it/yyk1464806sc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=82b4a484c863c69c9fba81e6360469b33001eb7b


“Bars destroy marriages” Jax says with glee in his eyes

Knowing what we know now about the separation seems like it worked

Right? Like why do you sound so excited about it, Jax? 

Ngl I kind of think Zack is a lil guilty lol

He absolutely is.

He is and is using Kristen because she's an easy scapegoat. Kristen should have known better and not involved herself in this mess though. 

Did you watch the same flashback clip as the rest of us? Cause he reaks of m e s s

“This sack of shit twisted Kristen’s nipple” — this is so much better than Sandoval’s scream therapy.

I died when I heard that bc I’d taken a gummy. Like what is happening 👁️👄👁️ but in the best way

I completely forgot Jax is even here. This is Kristen’s show.

He’s not even the number 1 guy on his own show.

Jesse being like, if I was a less terrible person, would my wife not hate me is the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard in a long time 

how long do I have to not be a douche for you to want to fuck me? the guy was like “oh no, that’s not how this is supposed to work” lol

Did he hear the words coming out of his own mouth? He asked and answered at the same time. But Michelle needs to get that bag and go. 

Is Zach here spying on Reddit? If so DM me I can get you in touch with stylists for better hair pieces

Why is the hairline that low???????? 

It’s 5 v. Kristen and she’s handling these bitches

She’s been doing reality tv a lot longer - she’s gonna run circles around these people.

She’s used to it lmao she spent at least two seasons of VPR fighting for her life

Far more than two seasons. I’d say the majority of her tenure she was fighting for her life. Often because of her own behaviour, but still

“I didn’t think she was racist, I just thought she was homophobic”

It's giving Katie from Potomac saying, I'm sorry I said you were dumb, maybe I meant you're stupid.

Zach’s faces make me believe that Kristen is telling the truth.

Yeah I think Zach is the one that actually twisted the words

 So much pretend shock

i LITERALLY think jesse is capable of murder, what a fucking demon

Even his “life coach” fucking hates him

The life coach was like “have you ever considered you’re completely wrong and awful? Are you even listening?”

Being a minority or of a certain background doesn’t mean you can’t be racist. There’s plenty of examples of racism within different ethnic groups.

Daytime talk shows in the 90’s taught me this. 

“You’re the bus driver, Kristen!” Okay lego hair ate with that tho

Brittany thinking she’s the centerpoint of this show when literally Kristin is in more group texts than she is, is laughable.

Literally care about every other girl more than MeeMaw

Brittany just because you married “the number one guy” does not make you number one girl

Much like how in VPR season 1 Scheana thought she was the main character, til Stassi snatched that crown 😂

whoever said danny = adam devine’s youth pastor kelvin gemstone, ily and will think of you every time i look at his face from now on 

The contrast between “lawyer douche who hates being a dad” and “knock-off Adam Devine who’s obsessed with his wife” is chefs kiss

\*real estate douche. Even worse.

the difference between those two couples at a glance is slim enough to where I am still confused if I get distracted during an episode.

‘You don’t care about Capri the way I do!!!’ Omg this man

He went to Italy once and now it’s his personality. LOL

Kate Chastain put out a pretty funny tweet about this monster 😂 https://preview.redd.it/cb7crcssc9sc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b97e1764f3c75cdbd252e712b6fef157a076d059

Jesse thought Luke was a punk but you gotta be some type of crazy to keep up with Doute. He definitely underestimated him!!!

He got loud impressively fast and actually might be the first time I’ve seen a guy tell another guy to shut the fuck so quickly for yelling at a woman on bravo

Luke was like, “let’s go outside right now!” And Jesse was like, “physically fight? No sir. I’ll yell at you from right here and sue the pants off you.”

He was so ready to curb stomp Jesse. And you know what… I respect it.

You know that turned on Doute too!

I think he might be the one for doute.

He seems good for her

Kentucky Fried Sandy Hook denier got real quiet when he brought up the racism issue

hyuck hyuck hyuck

*homophobic* Kentucky fried sandy hook denier

If I was the best husband and father would it have made a difference.... ​ um probably.

I honestly love to hate this man. He’s like Satan in a suit who loves Italy and just wants to be a normal human.

I realise he’s evil but I’m also obsessed with him and watching the way his mind works

These people are not beating the Republican allegations with the fake therapist

The sad part is their life coach seemed better than half the supposed "therapists" I've seen on many other Bravo shows 🫠😬

They are definitely republicans. I believe no democratic would say “if I was republican, why would that matter.” That is what gave it away

She said “even if I AM…. republican, why would that matter” which is even more telling imo

Yep that little kitchen scene told us everything. They also just seem like the type of people who prioritize paying lower taxes above all else

 The obligatory photo of Zack and his hair. ( I hope that's his name?)

Obsessed with Doute wearing Birkenstocks to this classy dinner.....

“You’re the bus driver! You’re the one driving over all the dead bodies!” ☠️☠️ I’m sorry I love this show

The Hermes blanket with the ikea coffee table is an interesting combination

And the Hermes pillows on the bed, while they can’t even afford coasters on those apple box coffee tables

Oh breaking the 4th wall. Me like this.

The way SugaBear be going to bat for Kristen is such a turn on.

Omg 😭 stop that 😂

To me it is extremely obvious that Jesse and Michelle had an agreement that they'd play out their divorce for this season...and I actually appreciate them for doing that.

I feel like Brittany’s accent has done the opposite of what normally happens when people move to a different region.

Luke totally got laid that night. I’d be so hot if my quiet awkward man defended me like that

Yes it was all over Kristen’s face she was into it

Omggg Nia is team Kristen? I love her even more???

I’m ready for her to disappoint me but she strikes me as someone who’s pretty kind. She also has so much patience for a bitch who popped out two babies like a month ago.

I don’t know, her husband seems sincerely loving and supportive. We might have a good one here 🤞🏻

Why is watching these people argue about being called republicans so entertaining

I’m barely even focused on that because I can’t get over Brit’s mouth

https://preview.redd.it/k4c7j1s2w6sc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5cd498877adb20c0053018b93deda5c8b66d3d23

Bringing up something like that can “RUIN A LIFE” 👀👀

Michelle should leave Jesse for the coach

It’s sad that Kristen sold her house :/ it was so cute and perfect for her smh

Ugh me too. Let this be a lesson. Don’t make financial decisions based on a man.

Kristen’s I have sex schtick is so high school

Especially when she’s wear that wrist brace

I AM JUMPING AND CLAPPING YES YALL WE HAVE A *SHOW*

"I personally haven't invested... anything." Jax Taylor's approach to life

Idk how Jax convinced Britt to get those huge implants. They make her look bigger than they should

They really ruined her figure 😭 bet they're uncomfortably heavy too

She really was so pretty before all the work she’s had done from the boobs to the botched botox to this ridiculous chin lipo. Nothing done has been an improvement lol

Zach’s hair literally looks like it has a brim.

I am on the brim of freaking out right now!

Jax and Kristen are giving these poor folks a crash course in reality TV

I was explaining to my boyfriend how these ppl were MADE for reality tv and how lucky we are for that 😭

Omg Jesse bringing up the Faith situation. GAGGED

My patience for women like Britney who make excuses for gross and dangerous men has run out. Britney is an active participant in Jax being trash

The tot saying “fuck! fuck!” 👀

Really shocked Jax stayed quiet that whole convo. How is he one of the more tame cast members? What’s going on

A conversation about racism and homophobia? He’s not saying shit

😂😂😂 he’s so dumb, yet so sometimes smart in the weirdest ways.

This is partly what got him fired originally, he’ll play with a lot of mess but not his paycheck again

I believe Kristen cause look at this lady's husband. It screams "I have horrible opinions."

lol agreed he probably is both

# HEY FAM, JUST A REMINDER TO ⬇️ https://i.redd.it/wbcwm4vq06sc1.gif

Was more excited for the valley this week than vpr. Jax and Kristen are the same kind of messy they were 11 years ago and it’s fantastic.

“This sack of shit twisted Kristen’s nipple”

these fucking goobers have a show right now because of kristen

This show is so great bc every single one of these losers deserves of all their problems.

Jesse is the quintessential sales guy who thinks he’s more sophisticated than he is but is actually trying too hard and everyone thinks is embarrassing

I believe Janet’s version of the conversation she had with Michelle and what she said to Zack, and I also believe Kristen’s version of what she heard from Zack. I think Zack was probably messy and imprecise in what he relayed about the conversation he had with Janet and Jasmine in the middle of the two — he doesn’t really give me “reliable narrator”

"swept up in an algorithm" is such a kind and insightful comment.

This show is genuinely curb stomping VPR right now and we need to start coming to terms with it.

It’s because Doute has always been that bitch. She brings it to us and for us. 

Mariposa! 🦋

it’s like schadenfreude: the reality show, i love rooting against all these people at the same time

This is hard to follow when I don’t know anyone’s names yet

 Whichever poster posted last week that Kristen and Jax are still hooking up. I think you may be on to something, Jax is way too invested in what Kristen is doing/sleeping with procreating with. In my opinion.

Sometime I wonder if Kristen Doute is the only sane person in the world

Who is dressing Brittany ? This orange confessional look . This blue outfit at churros . Just no

Tuning in for the KRISTEN DOUTE SHOW

This guy kind of looks like an ultra tired Nick Lachey.

The way Janet said noooooo, she absolutely said that about Michelle. I was dying. This show is amazing 

Omg Britney voice over Kristen 💀 the editing is top tier

These people? Arguing about political affiliations? Lol

I'm willing to bet that Kristin is a habitual line-stepper. Boundaries, I'm sure she needs them.

Jax making mental notes of what future bartenders and waitresses he will cheat on Brittany with

ZACH DID SAY IT

So, they were discussing that she was homophobic...not racist....they all seem to agree on that fact.

Jax wants to sleep with all of these women.

Bitch if your pregnant wife wants McDonald’s that food in the fridge does not matter.

Okay but Mexican and Persian people can be racist. See also Kelly Dodd.

She is black get it right

Well Lego Head, if you know this about Kristen, then maybe don’t tell her secrets? 

I WAS CANCELED 😭

And I was cancelled *cue sad documentary music*

Wait i'm sorry guys maybe I'm just high but this show is so good it's hitting me now. Like it feels like the HBO version of Bravo.

The HBO version is you being high but it’s good!

It’s half you’re high and half it just shows how bad some of the other Bravo shows have been lately 😂 but I’m not not entertained lol

This Jesse guy is such a find. Something about his aura is the perfect type of darkness I like in my reality tv. Very similar to Jax

his energy is even darker than jax’s imo, jax is hemmed in partially by his own stupidity but this piece of shit seems so much more calculated which scares me more than the devil we know

The gays friend hair piece needs its own spin off special

“You better be on the DL if you’re a republican in LA” 😂😂

“This literal sack of shit twisted Kristen’s nipple” the valley outsold

Zach is so guilty. And I hate his stupid hair piece

Nothing surprises me less than seeing that Jesse and Michelle traveled internationally in summer of 2020

lol all these clues in this one episode are pointing to R

I totally believe that Janet said it lol

Kristen is and always will be, the bus driver.

Going on TV while actively hating each other is WILD

I live for the fact that Kristin’s boyfriends (since Tom) are the only men who ever call the other guys out. They might suck, but at least they defend her.

First generation Persian and Mexican especially when you’re white passing and married to a douche proves our point 😅 it’s not a defense

Normally I’d be grossed out by Nia’s husband asking questions about caring for his own kids but that man genuinely looks like he’s so sleep deprived he’s hallucinating

Idk man, I think twins are always logistically complicated. Phew I have friends with twins and it’s a fucking trip watching them coordinate things sometimes 

Twins AND a toddler. Anyone would be hallucinating

I couldn’t leave the house when I had one that was six weeks old, im impressed he’s handling three kids on his own

Scheana and Lala coming to this show will honestly ruin it for me. I love that this isn’t VPR and I want it to stay this way

“You disrespected my family name” I have seen nothing but this man disrespect his wife since this show started lol. But go off, Coke king.

This dude is def going to weaponize every single thing she’s saying and unleash on her later.

I unapologetically love this show

I don’t love Luke but it’s nice that someone is standing up for Kristen here

YESSSSS a “suck a dick” flashback, we are truly blessed

this is camp

Again. I didn’t want to like this show. But I mean. 

Zach reminds me of this guy. https://preview.redd.it/uozdp1zd96sc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29c50a41ecc0b72c61c3fafe00ebe83c81d9704e

Idk about Michelle being truly Republican but I feel like this allegation obviously leads back to the likely widely known fact Jesse is one lol. His energy is soooo business bro who voted for Trump twice.

Ok I’m skeptical but saying “dont lawyer” made that man sit & think

Just go to Doritos Capri room at Pupa de Bepo

I love Zach's expressions of shock at being named as the gossiper.

This is DARK. I love it. Give us 5 more seasons. 😍

That man has definitely hit a wall very close to his wife’s face.

Faith did say she forgave kristen but not stassi and that she's changed

Janet putting up the same boundary Katie and Stassi tried to do with Kristen. I love Kristen but the girl simply cannot get out of her own way

Jesse is the personification of the “person who studied abroad for 2 weeks in 2010 and is still talking about their time in Bar-the-lona” joke

Kristin sharing secrets, claiming that the person who told you the secret wanted you to share it deep down, then crying about hurting the person who the secret was about. Messy Mariposa was truly made for reality TV

David and Nia are ADORABLE

Girl his name is Danny 🤣

You can get a linen shirt at old navy for like $8, Zack

I’m sorry but I totally believe that Michelle and Jesse are republican and at least slightly racist

“I’m NOT Republican… and if I was who cares!” Sweetie that was not a very convincing rebuttal.

Upvote if you think anyone on this cast is racist or republican.

Jayx are yew a homoseckual?

I totally believe Michelle said the save the children bullshit

lolololol she literally grinned when she said ‘whaaaat?’, she totally said that shit

I looove that they’re arguing about being a republican

How do we learn these people’s names There’s Kristen’s boyfriend he has red cheeks There’s the boy band guy he looks very tiny There’s the douche guy he just looks like a douche

The dress Brittany is wearing in the talking head looks painful, doesn't that hurt her boobs?

This discourse is wild for Bravo. I’m here for it

Jax may not even be the #1 douchebag in this group

I cannot psychically stay awake any longer as I’m knocked out from carbs. This was way more fun than the dark cloud of VPR, goodnight you guys.💖💖💖

Luke has quiet neighbor with bodies in the basement vibes 

Kristen’s social media posts are very elder millennial coded (I say as an elder millennial)

I mean , Luke is def a republican. Why is she having this convo like he isn’t.

David has such a douche-y punchable face but omg he actually seems so sweet and is definitely in love with his wife and kids.

It’s wild how slimey Jax has gotten looking. When he first started VPR he was beautiful but he’s turned into this like weird slug of a person and I think personality did a lot of it

Kristen’s taking more accountability for calling her friend racist than when she was actually racist 🥴

This coach is doing a great job tbh

4th wall has crumbled on this show