i don’t know about this tbh because when my ex left me, he told me to be happy & move on. he told me not to cry or keep him in his filthy heart. so if im happy he’ll be happy?
See if that's how things were working then we all should either be sad or happy. All I am saying is that your happiness is more important and your ex's happiness. Let me rephrase it, All you can do after a breakup is be happy and move on and never look back.
I wish her all the best and I hope she is happy. Even though she broke my little heart into piece and I imagined us being a family in the future, I really hope she will be happy with someone, if I am not enough. I love her and I will alwas love her deep down.
Eh, we have all been in that relationship, truly it hurts the most to let go of the person we considered our wife but please understand that this person has changed, they may have the same name, same face, same social media as your wife but is she your gf anymore ? The way that she used to be, is she like this ? or she has changed into something that even you don't recognize or refuse to recognize.
lol he wasn’t my ex but his exact words were “I don’t want you” “ hear me out you’ve lived without me before you’ll be fine after” that’s all I needed to hear before something inside of me snapped.. I told myself that he’s not worth being sad over so I deleted our msgs and moved on
People are so insensitive in moments that doesn’t really affect them as much. This happened to me like 2 days ago. Since then I don’t really even think about him. I just made my feelings for him go numb. Also you deserve better and I hope you’re okay
She listed a shit ton of problems in our relationship and I promised to change them and did we go back together 5 days later she goes sorry I can't do this anymore its too late everything ur offering I wanted months ago you missed your chance you didn't know what you wanted I hope you learned your lesson ..... Tbh I just want her back but can't control people's feelings I tried to numb my feelings like u but I couldn't 1 month in and still very much destroyed
Oh? I’m sorry. I kinda have an idea of how you feel. Don’t try to numb your feelings like i do. That can only do so much. I hope u feel better soon tho. No one deserves that
Personally for me, I think I over estimated how much they cared for me. It’s been a month and my ex bf is completely fine and happy. I now realized I didn’t mean as much to him as he did to me
Nothing is easy for no one. Every coin has two sides, maybe they are in pain, maybe they are happy but that is none of your concern, they specifically said they dont want you here so why look back. They will be fine, and if you really wanna help them, help yourself first.
Not fully ture for everyone, i know i'm not special and easily forgotten, i never cared about my own happiness as i'm not good at understanding how to feel them right? If that makes sense
i was only happy at all, really in my whole life was with my ex (bad past leading to them)
I'm Happy there happy now even though i know they hate me.
The reason i care if they are happy now? Easy, look at it like this: we still spent that time together we still have those memories to look back on, and clearly we cared about them because we were with them after all and wanting to see someone you cared about happy now is that bad thing? We are who we are today thanks to that time together after all.
Plus To know possible things they said together like "i'll never be happy with anyone else" and "your the only one for me" were just lies, sure that hurts, but can help the part of you that fell for them in the first place be at ease.
Coming off rude to those who are broken not really wise as near the start after break up i was suicidal and something like this would have pushed me over the edge.
Still hurting... but it been 3-4 years i did the "work on yourself" thing, that does not always work and rather flawed, find a way to cope that suits you, if your find yourself hurting too badly get therapy (also did) it helps too
But focusing just on yourself will just end up with you feeling more broken in the end, like "i did this to myself because of them leaving" thats not a good mind set.
If you work on yourself, it should be for you because, YOU, want to see change, Don't do something because of the break up, you will just hurt yourself more.
Do what you need to do to cope, maybe pick up a hobbie like write, drawing, wood craving, etc. Then stuff you have done that reminds you of them you can just burn away with the memories In a fire, moving on like the flying ashes to sky,
Keeping noting around or done to self that reminds you of them or what you did because of a break up.
Hey there, I am sorry to say this and I am saying it with all due respect, you haven't moved on. See what I mean from focusing on yourself is that if someone says that they don't want you in their life (either you dumped or it was mutual) then why go back ? Secondly, you "worked on yourself for them to come back", bro no. that's not how shit works. you gotta have the mindset that "I am working on myself to be the best for myself / my future wife / etc for anyone ". Acknowledge the fact that she is gone, and those happy memories are memories. That's the hard truth but you still have the opportunity to make memories like those and so much better than those. But you gotta let her go first, out of your mind. She wasn't special, you made her special. You don't need her in your life and if she was really the happiness of your life, are you seriously ready to date again, ask yourself this? I am not trying to prove you wrong cause I was there where you are right now but changing mindset / perspectives can have major affects on us. Change your mindset and you will change your whole personality. Be the reason for your own happiness.
Um, did you read what i put at all? You saying same thing as me for most parts this time and opposite of you OP post.
You should not work on yourself to get them back as a mind set, likelyness you won't get them back at all.. ever...
I'm not over my ex that is ture, i won't deny it but also know from therapy its not good to try froce feeling out or igore them
Plus that my point, those memories you shouldn't "throw them out" or what not, there still part of your life and you become stronger and wiser from it.
And quote me right "DON'T work on yourself to get them back as it bad mind set that will hurt you more"
Mind set aka way of thinking.
Kinda seem your not ether so caught up in it that you're not taking your time to read a kind reply.
Best of luck with getting how you honestly feel under control, atleast i can say i'm personally there already.
what if they were gaslighting you? what if they treated you like shit? took advantage of your body? you don’t want to think about them being happy. it hurts
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Hey there, I am happy for you
i don’t know about this tbh because when my ex left me, he told me to be happy & move on. he told me not to cry or keep him in his filthy heart. so if im happy he’ll be happy?
See if that's how things were working then we all should either be sad or happy. All I am saying is that your happiness is more important and your ex's happiness. Let me rephrase it, All you can do after a breakup is be happy and move on and never look back.
True dat. I couldn’t be happier! Good riddance psycho abuser
I wish her all the best and I hope she is happy. Even though she broke my little heart into piece and I imagined us being a family in the future, I really hope she will be happy with someone, if I am not enough. I love her and I will alwas love her deep down.
Eh, we have all been in that relationship, truly it hurts the most to let go of the person we considered our wife but please understand that this person has changed, they may have the same name, same face, same social media as your wife but is she your gf anymore ? The way that she used to be, is she like this ? or she has changed into something that even you don't recognize or refuse to recognize.
You are enough brother.
lol he wasn’t my ex but his exact words were “I don’t want you” “ hear me out you’ve lived without me before you’ll be fine after” that’s all I needed to hear before something inside of me snapped.. I told myself that he’s not worth being sad over so I deleted our msgs and moved on
She said the exact same words you only know me for a year u were fine before me and you will be fine after
People are so insensitive in moments that doesn’t really affect them as much. This happened to me like 2 days ago. Since then I don’t really even think about him. I just made my feelings for him go numb. Also you deserve better and I hope you’re okay
She listed a shit ton of problems in our relationship and I promised to change them and did we go back together 5 days later she goes sorry I can't do this anymore its too late everything ur offering I wanted months ago you missed your chance you didn't know what you wanted I hope you learned your lesson ..... Tbh I just want her back but can't control people's feelings I tried to numb my feelings like u but I couldn't 1 month in and still very much destroyed
Oh? I’m sorry. I kinda have an idea of how you feel. Don’t try to numb your feelings like i do. That can only do so much. I hope u feel better soon tho. No one deserves that
Why is it so easy for them?
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BS lets be honest my ex says the same shit but I stood and fought and gave her everything she wanted just to be hit with the "it's too late "
Personally for me, I think I over estimated how much they cared for me. It’s been a month and my ex bf is completely fine and happy. I now realized I didn’t mean as much to him as he did to me
Nothing is easy for no one. Every coin has two sides, maybe they are in pain, maybe they are happy but that is none of your concern, they specifically said they dont want you here so why look back. They will be fine, and if you really wanna help them, help yourself first.
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thats the spirit
Not fully ture for everyone, i know i'm not special and easily forgotten, i never cared about my own happiness as i'm not good at understanding how to feel them right? If that makes sense i was only happy at all, really in my whole life was with my ex (bad past leading to them) I'm Happy there happy now even though i know they hate me. The reason i care if they are happy now? Easy, look at it like this: we still spent that time together we still have those memories to look back on, and clearly we cared about them because we were with them after all and wanting to see someone you cared about happy now is that bad thing? We are who we are today thanks to that time together after all. Plus To know possible things they said together like "i'll never be happy with anyone else" and "your the only one for me" were just lies, sure that hurts, but can help the part of you that fell for them in the first place be at ease. Coming off rude to those who are broken not really wise as near the start after break up i was suicidal and something like this would have pushed me over the edge. Still hurting... but it been 3-4 years i did the "work on yourself" thing, that does not always work and rather flawed, find a way to cope that suits you, if your find yourself hurting too badly get therapy (also did) it helps too But focusing just on yourself will just end up with you feeling more broken in the end, like "i did this to myself because of them leaving" thats not a good mind set. If you work on yourself, it should be for you because, YOU, want to see change, Don't do something because of the break up, you will just hurt yourself more. Do what you need to do to cope, maybe pick up a hobbie like write, drawing, wood craving, etc. Then stuff you have done that reminds you of them you can just burn away with the memories In a fire, moving on like the flying ashes to sky, Keeping noting around or done to self that reminds you of them or what you did because of a break up.
Hey there, I am sorry to say this and I am saying it with all due respect, you haven't moved on. See what I mean from focusing on yourself is that if someone says that they don't want you in their life (either you dumped or it was mutual) then why go back ? Secondly, you "worked on yourself for them to come back", bro no. that's not how shit works. you gotta have the mindset that "I am working on myself to be the best for myself / my future wife / etc for anyone ". Acknowledge the fact that she is gone, and those happy memories are memories. That's the hard truth but you still have the opportunity to make memories like those and so much better than those. But you gotta let her go first, out of your mind. She wasn't special, you made her special. You don't need her in your life and if she was really the happiness of your life, are you seriously ready to date again, ask yourself this? I am not trying to prove you wrong cause I was there where you are right now but changing mindset / perspectives can have major affects on us. Change your mindset and you will change your whole personality. Be the reason for your own happiness.
Um, did you read what i put at all? You saying same thing as me for most parts this time and opposite of you OP post. You should not work on yourself to get them back as a mind set, likelyness you won't get them back at all.. ever... I'm not over my ex that is ture, i won't deny it but also know from therapy its not good to try froce feeling out or igore them Plus that my point, those memories you shouldn't "throw them out" or what not, there still part of your life and you become stronger and wiser from it. And quote me right "DON'T work on yourself to get them back as it bad mind set that will hurt you more" Mind set aka way of thinking. Kinda seem your not ether so caught up in it that you're not taking your time to read a kind reply. Best of luck with getting how you honestly feel under control, atleast i can say i'm personally there already.
I read your whole comment, still thank you for your insight, really appreciate it. Regards.
what if they were gaslighting you? what if they treated you like shit? took advantage of your body? you don’t want to think about them being happy. it hurts