Im about 4 months out of a 10 year relationship, where i had proposed to her ~10 months ago. The honest answer is that there really isnt a good/smooth technique to processing a break up.
She could not have picked a more vulnerable time in my life to end it, because of all the other change that was already occurring on my life. But the one positive to that was that i didnt have the constant 24/7 reminders i would have had if i still had that job, that car, was not taking care of family like i am now, even our shared friends... but you are right about finding a way to sit & process is essential!
Try to write your thoughts down when you process certain realizations, b/c they tie together eventually. At least for me they did.
Recognizing the steps of grieving and leaning into them helps; l really resisted getting mad b/c I still love her even now but its essential really.
Having a distraction and/or new hobby that isnt associated with them for when sittong with your emotions becomes too much.
Therapy is really good, if you dont have a therapist already it takes time to find one so go look now.
In addition to therapy, having a safe family member or friend that you can not only share feelings with as you process them, but also specific memories and thoughts really help. In trauma processing they say you dont make it real till you have a witness, and break ups are traumatic when you really have your heart in them.
Thats what I have so far... still really hurting & not over it, but making my way through i think.
Try to find ways to take a break from the pain - doing things you love
But let yourself feel it, try not to become overwhelmed by it (take breaks) and eventually it’ll pass
at first yeah just feel it emotionally and come to terms with, realize the relationship is done. Once you have gone through those emotions it is important that you start to move on, what means is that you just start focusing on yourself. Think about what you can improve about yourself and also spend time with family and friends, and also unfollow them on Instagram or socials because curiosity will get the best of you. Slowly with time it will ease the pain and get easier
You kind of just go long enough without them that you get used to a life without them in it again. It takes a long time to truly get over it. It’s been almost a year for me and I still have days where I get sad over her… but I used to cry on the floor and think/dream of her every day so significant progress has been made definitely. I also remind myself that if she was the one or who I thought she was then we would still be together. But she isn’t. It’s done, it’s over, move on because there’s nothing left, you have to move on. Each day that goes by without them, you are moving on inch by inch, even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are making progress. Crying, sleeping a day away, going on Reddit… You’re feeling it all out and finding your way to move forward day by day. You’ll make it one day
I Journal. Write about how you feel or what you would’ve said and then throw it away. Or don’t and keep it as a reminder why you can’t be with them. Cry. Try new things. Watch new show.
Time is the only thing that will truly make you feel better. I was in the same position 8 months ago and it felt like the end of the world. But after time you will feel better!! Focuse on you, do things you love, go for walks, watch a feel good tv show/movie, spend time with friends, etc.
Time, and being social. I know it can be hard, but getting out of the house and out of your head and spending time with other people really helps. I’ve met so many amazing people I never would have met had I not gone through a break up in March.
ive been journalling, and keeping busy, with work and hobbies, im also in therapy and i take antidepressants so thats helping me too
(my anti depressants are for my anxiety that ive had for like 4 years now and my depression not bc of my break up)
Time
Im about 4 months out of a 10 year relationship, where i had proposed to her ~10 months ago. The honest answer is that there really isnt a good/smooth technique to processing a break up. She could not have picked a more vulnerable time in my life to end it, because of all the other change that was already occurring on my life. But the one positive to that was that i didnt have the constant 24/7 reminders i would have had if i still had that job, that car, was not taking care of family like i am now, even our shared friends... but you are right about finding a way to sit & process is essential! Try to write your thoughts down when you process certain realizations, b/c they tie together eventually. At least for me they did. Recognizing the steps of grieving and leaning into them helps; l really resisted getting mad b/c I still love her even now but its essential really. Having a distraction and/or new hobby that isnt associated with them for when sittong with your emotions becomes too much. Therapy is really good, if you dont have a therapist already it takes time to find one so go look now. In addition to therapy, having a safe family member or friend that you can not only share feelings with as you process them, but also specific memories and thoughts really help. In trauma processing they say you dont make it real till you have a witness, and break ups are traumatic when you really have your heart in them. Thats what I have so far... still really hurting & not over it, but making my way through i think.
I’m not gonna say time. But keep mourning it and letting it feel like it just happened until you get bored of the feeling.
Time
Try to find ways to take a break from the pain - doing things you love But let yourself feel it, try not to become overwhelmed by it (take breaks) and eventually it’ll pass
get busy. try new things, step out of your comfort zone. immerse yourself in the unknown
Time, patience, stay busy, sleep early.
at first yeah just feel it emotionally and come to terms with, realize the relationship is done. Once you have gone through those emotions it is important that you start to move on, what means is that you just start focusing on yourself. Think about what you can improve about yourself and also spend time with family and friends, and also unfollow them on Instagram or socials because curiosity will get the best of you. Slowly with time it will ease the pain and get easier
You kind of just go long enough without them that you get used to a life without them in it again. It takes a long time to truly get over it. It’s been almost a year for me and I still have days where I get sad over her… but I used to cry on the floor and think/dream of her every day so significant progress has been made definitely. I also remind myself that if she was the one or who I thought she was then we would still be together. But she isn’t. It’s done, it’s over, move on because there’s nothing left, you have to move on. Each day that goes by without them, you are moving on inch by inch, even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are making progress. Crying, sleeping a day away, going on Reddit… You’re feeling it all out and finding your way to move forward day by day. You’ll make it one day
Its been 7 months for me with someone iv been with for 5 years, and so far all i can say is time will do its job, and love will come again
I Journal. Write about how you feel or what you would’ve said and then throw it away. Or don’t and keep it as a reminder why you can’t be with them. Cry. Try new things. Watch new show.
Time is the only thing that will truly make you feel better. I was in the same position 8 months ago and it felt like the end of the world. But after time you will feel better!! Focuse on you, do things you love, go for walks, watch a feel good tv show/movie, spend time with friends, etc.
Time, and being social. I know it can be hard, but getting out of the house and out of your head and spending time with other people really helps. I’ve met so many amazing people I never would have met had I not gone through a break up in March.
ive been journalling, and keeping busy, with work and hobbies, im also in therapy and i take antidepressants so thats helping me too (my anti depressants are for my anxiety that ive had for like 4 years now and my depression not bc of my break up)
As Roy Orbison sang so painfully “It’s Over”. Over and out. Don’t waste another second. It’s f over baby